Paradise Reborn
by S.E. Mellark
Summary: Toboe promised himself he'd find them all again, but never imagined that he'd be the one to compromise that promise, or even forget he'd made it.
1. Discoveries on Main Street

**2015 Edit: **So, I decided to go back and essentially touch up this entire story. I wanted it to not sound so much like a fourteen-year-old wrote it, haha. I didn't change anything that altered the story, just fixed the structure and continuity errors and whatnot. Hopefully this makes Paradise Reborn a little easier of a read!

_Disclaimer: _I do not own Wolf's Rain, and I most likely never will.

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><p><em><strong>Prologue: Discoveries on Main Street<strong>_

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><p>Sometimes, I didn't know what to make of things.<p>

I was only fourteen years old, and yet… I felt so much older than that.

I didn't even think my mother knew what to make of me. I was very different from my brothers and sister. They all had black hair and blue eyes, like our mother, and yet I had auburn hair and brown eyes.

My older brothers liked to tease me about that and say that I was adopted. And no matter what Mother said, I couldn't help but wonder. My siblings liked to have friends come over, and they were very social. But not me.

I liked company, just not the company of my family. I felt more at peace outdoors, in the woods on the outskirts of the city. I went there in my spare time, although it aggravated my mother to no end. But I just couldn't help it.

Sometimes… sometimes I swore the woods were_ calling_ to me. I knew it sounded stupid, and it was probably just my adventure-starved mind searching for something more than what I had, but yet another part of me screamed that it wasn't stupid, that there was something I was missing.

A gust of wind blew at my face, almost knocking my umbrella out of my grasp. I gasped and held on tighter, grabbing onto my hat so it wouldn't blow away. The rain poured around me, and I watched it, along with all the other people walking about today.

I always took walks on Saturdays when I finished my chores – and my siblings' chores if Mother wasn't around to see – if only to get away from that hell house I called home. I loved my family, I really did, but for some reason, it just didn't feel right. That didn't make much sense, even to my own thoughts, but it was how I felt.

I didn't belong there. I didn't think I ever did. I had this unbelievable urge to just… run. There had to be more to life than being my siblings' personal slave and sneaking away once a week for a twenty-minute walk that didn't even satisfy my ever-growing urges.

I sighed, wiping away a drop of water that landed on my cheek. There was really no point in dwelling on these things. I was thirteen years old. I couldn't just run off without being noticed. And where was I going to go? I may have liked to spend my time in the woods, but I was a city boy through and through. There was no way I'd survive in the wild for more than a few days on my own.

I slowed my pace slightly when I heard something to my right. I turned my head but didn't see anything other than windows upon windows of clothes, toys, books, and other things that people in this world desired.

I wasn't one of those people. I didn't ask for stuff because I knew my mother couldn't afford a lot of useless junk. With all the stuff my siblings "required", I was surprised we still lived in an actual house.

Shrugging, I passed off the sound as nothing and continued on my way. I frowned when I heard it again, glancing around once more. I'd always had sensitive hearing, but this was just insane. How could I possibly be hearing anything over this rain?

I moved away from the main sidewalk and over towards an alley, convinced that was where I'd heard the noise. There was a box sitting at the entrance, an old, tattered blanket flowing over the edge. I peered into it, my eyes widening slightly.

It was a kitten, white and fluffy with blue eyes, no more than a few weeks old. I crouched down, staring at it uncertainly, and it returned the look, blue eyes wide, mewing happily, as if it weren't sitting in a box, in an alley, in the middle of a thunderstorm.

I didn't really know what to do with it. I loved animals, but could we really afford to have a pet? I didn't want to give my mom another mouth to feed, but I couldn't just leave it there. And even if I'd never said so aloud, I'd always wanted a pet.

_Maybe Mother will let me keep it. _I thought, reaching into the box with one hand to scoop up the kitten. _And maybe Airi, Kato, and Hiro won't try to torture it either._

The kitten purred, and I smiled, running my fingers through its fur.

"_Toboe."_

I jumped, glancing cautiously over my shoulder. Had I imagined it, or had someone just said my name? No one was looking in my direction, or giving any indication that they knew who I was and was trying to get my attention. I glanced back down at the kitten in my arms, pulling it close to my chest, safely concealed from the rain. "You didn't hear anything, did you?"

It stared up at me, its blue eyes uncomprehending. I laughed as it leaned up to lick lightly at my nose. "I know I probably shouldn't do this, considering that I might not be able to keep you, but I think I'll give you a name. How about… Snow? For your fur."

The tiny creature snuggled into my chest, rubbing its head against the fabric of my shirt. I smiled again, glad that I had picked a name that would work both ways, if this cat was a boy or a girl, and turned to walk back the way I'd come. I'd cut this walk short, just this once.

"Alrighty then. Snow it is."

* * *

><p>He kept running, pushing past everyone and everything that got in his way.<p>

He couldn't have imagined it. It was crisp and clear, almost as if whoever had done it had been right next to him. It had been a long time, years since the thought had even crossed his mind, that maybe this wasn't the life he was supposed to lead.

Life was just too peaceful – maybe Paradise wasn't supposed to be his main priority right now. But now he thought differently, for he'd heard the voice. It was calling to him. And there was only one way to find out if he wasn't just crazy.

"Watch it, kid!" A man snapped as the boy rushed past him, splashing rainwater all over his long trench coat.

The dark-haired boy turned his head slightly, taking note of the hat, the large, hooked nose, the squinting, untrusting eyes. The man was younger, but it was definitely him.

The boy looked around mostly out of instinct, looking for those familiar blue eyes and dark hair. He sniffed the air, then turned away empty handed. She wasn't there.

Maybe in this life, she'd found someone that accepted her for who she was.

He kept racing through the rain, only one destination in mind. He wasn't sure what he'd discover there, but he was willing to find out.

He bounded up the steps of the old apartment complex on the plaza, throwing open the door and slowing his frantic pace once he was inside. He didn't want to appear shady, not when he'd spent so long trying to pretend that things were normal and he was nothing more than a seventeen-year-old boy trying to make it on his own.

If none of this turned out to be real, then there was no need to alert everyone to a change in his demeanor. He walked up two flights of stairs, hands in his pockets, footsteps echoing throughout the silent halls. He stopped outside his room, pulling out a key and unlocking the door before stepping inside.

He threw the keys on the table, looking around the apartment. "Hello?" He growled under his breath when there was no reply, running a hand restlessly through his hair. "Damn it."

A noise behind him made him turn, posture tense. _Old habits die hard, I guess. _He thought.

His light-haired roommate threw his bags down on the table as well, staring over at him like he'd seen a ghost. "You heard it too, right?"

"Yeah."

"What are we going to do, Kiba? We can't just… pick up where we left off and start searching all over again. We don't even know where to start looking for her! And where's Tsume? He must have heard it, too."

"I know he did, Hige." Kiba said, crossing his arms over his chest and turning towards the window. "It was too hard to ignore. But we have to go. She said my name. She _called_ for us. She's waiting for us to go and find her."

"But it's not the end of the world! Things are different than how they used to be, Kiba. Cheza might just be lonely."

"No, I don't think so." Kiba replied, watching the comings and goings of their neighbors from his vantage point. "Cheza told me that we would find her again when it was time to search for Paradise. She must know something that we don't, or she wouldn't contact us like that. Maybe everything's not as perfect as we think."

Kiba heard Hige sigh in exasperation, and felt the floorboards tremor as he started to pace. "Okay, fine. I've been starting to get restless anyway. We'll just find Tsume, and then head – "

"No."

"_No_? What do you mean no?"

"We can't just get Tsume and leave. He'll show up here later, and when he does, we've got more searching to do."

"But, Kiba – "

"What?" Kiba challenged, turning to face his friend, eyes blazing. "Why are you resisting so much? Finding them was all you wanted to do a few years ago."

Hige sighed, slipping his hands into his pockets and averting his gaze. "That was then, this is now. I haven't so much as smelled them at all."

"What makes you think they're in this city? Just because you, Tsume, and I were doesn't mean they'll be, too."

"It's not just that." Hige said softly, his eyes taking on a faraway look. "I just can't sense them anymore. I thought I could, at first, but now I know that I was just imagining things, hoping that they were around. Kiba, what if they weren't reborn like we were? What are we going to do then, huh?"

"They're alive." Kiba said firmly. "The universe isn't that cruel, Hige. They deserved this second chance just like we did."

"I know they do, but – "

"No more excuses." Kiba growled. He'd failed his pack before, letting his own personal feelings get in the way of doing what was best for them on more than one occasion, and he'd be damned if he moved on without attempting to get them all together again.

Finding Hige hadn't been especially hard, and Tsume had found them on his own. But some part of him wondered if Hige was right. He couldn't sense the remaining members of his pack at all, but he simply refused to believe they were gone. If Pops was around, then so were they.

"I'm going to go back out for a bit." Kiba continued. "When Tsume gets back, tell him that we're going out to search for them tomorrow. And this time around, we're going to find Paradise."

Hige nodded, brown eyes hardening with determination. "Okay. No more distractions or excuses. But seriously, Kiba, what are we going to do if we don't find them?"

Kiba walked past his friend and out the door, feeling more alive then he had in years. "If we don't find them, then finding Paradise will be worth absolutely nothing."

And with that Kiba was gone, leaving Hige alone with a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. He wasn't used to a world where Kiba didn't want Paradise unconditionally. But he agreed with his friend.

A paradise without Toboe and Blue would be just like their normal lives without them – a living Hell full of sorrow and regret.

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><p><em>A.N. <em>This picks up where the TV series ended.


	2. Renewed Body Doesn't Mean Renewed Spirit

_**Chapter 1: Renewed Body Doesn't Mean Renewed Spirit**_

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><p>The walk home was especially long, mostly because my new charge kept trying to crawl into my shirt, scratching me with its forming claws. I'd cried out once, startling a few passersby as they observed me cautiously, and I'd smiled awkwardly before continuing on my way.<p>

The kitten was already causing trouble. I could've just taken it to an animal shelter, but I knew that wasn't a possibility for me. There was no way I'd subject a poor, defenseless kitten to that place. I could handle a few scratches.

"I should probably figure out what gender you are." I said softly, glancing down at the white ball of fur. "I can't keep calling you an 'it' forever."

Snow mewed up at me, sticking out its tiny, pink tongue to lick me once again, and I couldn't help the giggle that escaped me.

An overwhelming sense of dread took hold of me when my house came into view, and I had to force myself to keep walking, to keep my stride strong. Nothing was going to happen to me or Snow.

At best, Mom would say no, and I could find someone else to take care of the kitten. At worst, Mom would say yes, and my siblings would pester it day and night.

My siblings were older than me – Airi was fifteen, and Kato and Hiro were both sixteen – but that didn't mean that they were above trying to take away something that was mine.

I didn't know what to think about my brothers and sister. Sometimes they treated me like older children should treat the youngest, but most of the time they acted like I was a nuisance, even though I deliberately tried to stay out of their way. My best bet was to hope that they weren't at home and had to go to Saturday school for skipping their summer school last Tuesday.

I opened the door slowly, closing my umbrella and leaning it against the wall with one hand while I tried to balance Snow with my other.

It made me feel weird for doing so, but I lifted the kitten in the air slightly, surprised that it didn't put up a struggle. "Okay, you're definitely a girl." I breathed, lowering her back down to my chest. "I hope that wasn't as awkward for you as it was for me."

"Toboe, who are you talking to?"

"Um, no one, I guess." I said as Airi came stomping down the stairs, pulling on her raincoat as she went. Her blue eyes looked especially cold and irritated. Giving her a quick once over, I couldn't understand why she insisted on wearing skin-tight shorts all the time, even when it was pouring down rain. "Where are you going?"

"Kato didn't wake me up for Saturday school." She grumbled, failing to notice that we weren't the only two in the hall. "I'm going to kick his ass when I see him later."

"That's, uh, great, Sis."

Airi looked down at me, as if finally noticing I was there for the first time, her nose wrinkling when she saw Snow curled up in my arms. "What is _that_?"

"It's a cat, Airi."

"Why is it in here? It's probably got fleas."

"She doesn't have fleas." I said indignantly, holding the kitten tighter to my chest. "I wouldn't have brought her in here if she did."

"Well, isn't that neat?" She sneered, moving closer to me. "Mom's not going to let you keep that stupid thing. She's already got enough animals to take care of around here."

"Yeah, you, Kato, and Hiro must be a lot of work."

I wasn't normally that short with my sister. I was used to her abnormal behavior and learned from a very early age not to piss her off when she was angry. Airi was by far the most temperamental of my mother's children, and even our mother mostly let my sister do whatever she wanted.

But I was starting to get tired of sitting by and letting my siblings walk all over me. Even if it meant an increase in their attempts to get me into trouble, at least I would feel one small rush of power for fighting back.

Airi rolled her eyes, pushing me to the side on her way to the door. "Whatever, Toboe. Mom's in the kitchen if you want to talk to her about your little white rat. See you later, Runt."

"Her name's Snow."

"I wasn't referring to the cat."

I stared an angry hole in the floor as Airi left the house, slamming the door behind her. _Don't let her get to you, Toboe. _It was easier said than done, but I was the calm one in the family. Even Mom reached her limit sometimes, although those moments were few and far between, so it was up to me to be the stable one, the one that never lost his cool.

So, that being said, I took a deep breath and turned to walk towards the kitchen, trying to locate my mother.

She wasn't that hard to find. It was always the same whenever I came home from walks on Saturday afternoons. She was sitting at the table, pen in hand, leafing through bills and other things of that nature. Her black hair was pulled up into a bun, and she had on jeans and plain, white t-shirt.

Airi had criticized our mother on many occasions for not dressing more "cool". My mother was only thirty-four years old, but she looked so much older than that at times. She'd been eighteen when she gave birth to my brothers, and my grandparents – whom I'd never met – had basically disowned her at the hospital, or at least that's what my sister told me once.

I didn't know what had happened to our father, and honestly, I wasn't too keen on finding out. If he'd thought it was okay to abandon my mom with four kids, then that was his choice. I didn't want anything to do with him, and that was how it was going to stay.

I cleared my throat slightly, and Mom looked up, a tired smile gracing her face. "Oh, Toboe, you're back. I wasn't expecting you for at least another half an hour. Whatcha got there?"

"Well, I was walking down Main Street, and I heard her meowing in a box in an alley. I couldn't really just leave her there, so… " I trailed off, moving closer and extending my arms out, allowing her to inspect Snow more thoroughly.

She set down her pen, reaching out and taking Snow from me. I held my breath, praying that Snow wouldn't do anything to make my mom refuse to let her stay. To my relief, Snow only purred, rubbing her face against my mother's shirt.

Mom laughed softly, stroking Snow's soft fur. "Toboe, pets are a lot of work."

"I know, Mom."

"And I don't really have the time to take care of her."

"That's okay." I said eagerly. "I'll take care of her, I promise. I think she's around eight weeks old, and summer basically just started, so by the time school starts again she won't need constant care. I'll do everything so you won't have to."

"How are you going to feed her?" She asked, fixing me with a piercing look. "Money's pretty tight around here right now, Toboe, you know that."

"Mom, I've been saving up money since I was, like, five. And I'm sure I can find stuff for her to eat if I run out. There's always the rats in Hiro and Kato's room, too."

Mom laughed, and Snow reached up with one paw, batting gently at a loose strand of hair resting against my mother's cheek. I grinned, taking comfort in the thoughtful look on my mother's face. Her lack of an immediate response meant there was a huge possibility that she'd say yes. If she really didn't want me to keep Snow, she would've said so the moment I walked into the kitchen.

"Alright." She sighed. "You can keep her. But if you start to get bored with her – "

"Oh, I won't!" I exclaimed, leaning forward to take Snow from my mother, unable to keep my excitement under wraps. "Thanks, Mom, you won't regret this!"

Mom smiled before turning back to her papers. "I think she'll be good for you, Toboe. You really need a friend."

I knew my mom meant well, but sometimes she subconsciously hinted to the fact that I didn't have a lot of friends… actually, scratch that, I didn't have any friends at all. I didn't think she held that against me, but it made me feel like some sort of a reject that I wasn't like my older brothers and sister.

But that in and of itself was a good thing. I didn't know what my mother would do if all her children gave her problems on a daily basis.

With a smile of my own, I turned and walked out of the kitchen, placing Snow on the ground so I could remove my hat and coat. When I went to pick her back up, she was trying to climb her way up the steps, tail waving excitedly through the air behind her.

"Oh, no you don't." I said, scooping her back up into my arms. "Climbing stairs isn't something a kitten like you should be doing."

Snow squirmed in my hold, mewing slightly in what was probably protest, gnawing on my thumb slightly. "You're lucky I've always had a high tolerance for pain." I laughed, walking down the hall quickly, my sneakers squeaking on the wooden floorboards.

I probably should've taken them off before I went upstairs. Now I had one extra surface to clean.

I wrinkled my nose, and Snow let out what could only be classified as a sneeze when we passed my brothers' room. It smelled like something had died in there.

_Kato and Hiro are obviously smoking again. _I thought as I closed the door hastily. I didn't want to poison my new pet before we actually had a chance to bond.

I walked into my room, breathing in the scent of rain that wafted through my open window. My room was always clean, unlike my brothers'. The only problem was that the sheets on my bed were always rumpled. I absolutely hated making my bed, mostly because I spent more time in my bed than out of it, so there was really no point. I set Snow down on the tousled covers, standing back and placing my hands on my hips, observing her reaction curiously.

She sat there for a few moments, staring at the fabric underneath her paws. I didn't think she was used to anything other than that ratty blanket in the box I'd found her in. But then she started kneading my comforter with her front paws, looking up at me as if she was a baby excited by a new toy.

I laughed through my nose, flopping down on the bed beside her, laying on my back and staring up at the ceiling. I really couldn't remember the last time I'd been this excited about something. Being responsible wasn't very fun when it came to my siblings, but maybe things would be different with Snow.

I'd only found her about twenty minutes ago, and yet I felt very attached to her. It was going to be refreshing, having someone to talk to that wouldn't call me an idiot or a runt.

I blinked when I felt movement beside me, and Snow's fur appeared out of the corner of my eye. She jumped clumsily onto my chest, crouching down slightly and tucking her paws neatly under her chest, staring at me intently. I stared back, unnerved by the display. Was that normal behavior for kittens?

The rain continued to beat down on the window as we stared at one another. I burst out laughing when she cocked her head, blue eyes bright and curious. "You're a strange one. But, hey, so am I. I think we're perfect for each other."

Snow's tail twitched, and she rolled off my chest, splaying out on her back just like I was, pawing at the air relentlessly. As I watched her, I realized that this kitten was extremely energetic and would probably require a lot of attention.

But that was fine with me. "When Hiro, Kato, and Airi get home from summer school, we'll go out and get you food and toys of your own."

I could already tell this was going to be an experience.

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><p>"I think that's a shitty plan."<p>

"Tsume – "

"So what if Cheza spoke to us? That doesn't mean we have to just drop everything and go running after her again."

"That's what I said too, but Kiba – "

"_Kiba_." Tsume scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back on the couch, kicking his feet up to rest them on the table. "I thought he'd finally learned that searching for Paradise was a wasted effort by now."

Hige had waited for over an hour before Tsume finally showed up. Initially, he didn't said anything about hearing Cheza's voice, not until Hige brought up something that they hadn't dared talk about in years – locating Toboe and Blue.

Hige knew that even though it had been… who knows how long since their deaths, Tsume still felt the pain of watching everyone die, even if he refused to show it. Toboe had been the first to go, and Hige never forgave himself for running away that day.

He wondered if he could've changed things had he been there, maybe given Toboe a chance to succeed where they failed. But he knew it had been a hopeless battle. Toboe had been fourteen years old back then, and if they – being older than him – hadn't been able to do anything to stop Darcia, then Toboe wouldn't have stood a chance.

Hige guessed the boy had been lucky to have only been shot by Darcia. But Hige hadn't been there. He didn't know all that had happened, how it had affected Tsume and Kiba, who had to witness the boy's death. Hige would never say so aloud, but he thought Tsume was just scared to find Toboe again.

It was a stupid thought, but what if Toboe blamed them for his death? They were his pack, his best friends. They were supposed to be there for him when no one else ever had, just because he was a wolf. _Toboe was more human than all of us put together, though._

And Blue… well, Hige had to watch her die. He'd been too wounded to do anything to save her and had just ended up getting fatally wounded himself when he mustered up the strength to make an attempt. He had managed to get Tsume to deal the final blow in the end, and he and Blue had died side by side that day.

But if they'd met in the afterlife, Hige wasn't sure. No one remembered ever going to Paradise after they died. It was a cruel twist of fate in Hige's opinion. They'd reached Paradise, or at least he thought they did, but they couldn't recall a damn thing.

"Don't go back to being the old Tsume." Hige said. "I'm going to lose my mind if I have to listen to you bitch again about how Paradise doesn't exist."

"Paradise exists." Tsume grunted. "I just don't want to go there anymore."

"Why? Because we can't find Toboe and Blue? If they were here, and they wanted to go, you would go. I _know_ you would."

"I told Toboe I'd take him to Paradise." Tsume shot back, golden eyes blazing. "So if we ever see him again I intend to follow through with that. But as of now, I see no point."

"Look. Just give it a year. We'll look for Toboe and Blue for a year, and if we don't find them, then we can either go find Paradise without them, or forget it all together. How does that sound, Your Majesty?" Hige sighed, trying to ignore the hunger pains in his stomach.

When he was reborn, he'd kind of hoped that his insane hunger issue would go away, but sadly, it hadn't. It was just like Tsume and his scar.

Hige and Kiba had been surprised when they first saw Tsume again to find that he had that same scar on his chest. They didn't know how he'd gotten it in the first place, and they probably never would, but it had sort of shocked them.

It seemed that they kept their bodies and everything that came with that in this life –even their scent and ability to transform from wolf to human – so finding Toboe and Blue shouldn't have been that hard. And yet it had been four years since the three of them came together, and they were still a splintered pack.

"I honestly don't think we're going to find them, but whatever." Tsume sighed. "This world is huge. It'll be nearly impossible to find two people in the billions on this earth. I know it was easy to get us three together, but I think that's just because we're _alive_. If the three of us were in the same town, then so should they. And they're not here, Porky."

Hige growled, clenching his fists at his sides. Tsume was still the same pain in the ass that he'd been in the beginning, and he didn't understand why.

Tsume had been different in the end. When he had found Hige dying on that cliff right after they'd left him alone with Toboe's body, he'd been different. Hige didn't know what had brought on the change, but he had appreciated it all the same.

Now that change was gone, and Tsume was just as depressing and skeptical as he'd been before. "We'll go out when Kiba gets back." Hige said stiffly, turning to walk to his room. "And we're going to find them, Tsume. You owe it to Toboe to at least try."

Although Tsume was almost the same as he'd been in the beginning, Hige noticed one difference.

The old Tsume would've turned wolf and attacked him before he even had a chance to get his hand on the doorknob. But Hige stepped into his room and slammed the door without interference, and Tsume just sat on the couch, staring out the window, watching the rain fall outside.


	3. I Don't Understand

_**Chapter 2: I Don't Understand**_

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><p>"Toboe, get your ass out of bed. Mom wants you downstairs."<p>

"I'm coming, Hiro."

I lay with my back to the door until I heard my brother's heavy footsteps descend down the stairs. Only then did I roll onto my back, rubbing at my eyes roughly. I'd been an idiot to think that I'd get to sleep in just because it was the first day of summer. There was always something that I needed to get done.

I blinked a few times, trying to wake myself up when I heard the sound of jingling coming from the floor. Snow hopped up onto my bed gracefully, her tags swaying slightly with the movement. I smiled down at her, reaching up and scratching under her chin gently. She purred in response, leaning further into my hand.

It had been almost a full year since the day I'd found Snow in that box on Main Street, although it didn't feel that long. She'd long since traded in her fluffy kitten fur for the sleek coat of an adult. She was decent sized for a female, and just as I had predicted, she was quite the ratter.

Snow had also developed a hatred for my siblings – I could only imagine why. She always ran off whenever they were around unless I was there, and if she wasn't running, she was hissing and scratching them until they left. I'd never say so aloud for fear of being hit or something, but I found the whole thing extremely amusing.

Snow could tolerate Hiro and Kato in small doses, but Airi was another story entirely. I remembered an incident almost four months ago, when I came home from school to find Snow locked in the laundry room. I had a hunch that Airi had done that, but I never confronted her about it, because Snow's reactions toward her now were enough to confirm my suspicions.

I groaned, pushing myself into a sitting position before pulling Snow onto my lap. "I guess we should go downstairs, girl. We don't want Mom to be mad at us again."

Over the past year, my mother had really changed a lot. She was shorter tempered than ever and always seemed to be in a foul mood, but I knew it was just because she was stressed out.

The economy had really gone under in the past couple of months, and things were starting to get tough around here. And to add insult to injury, my sister was in jail. She'd always been caught smoking at school or doing other things she shouldn't have, but she'd never been sent to jail before.

From what my brothers had told me, Airi had gotten drunk at a party and stolen a car with her friends. They ended up crashing the stolen vehicle into a tree, and while she'd bolted when the police tried to catch her, Airi ultimately ended up in custody, despite only being sixteen.

I guessed that the local police force had just gotten fed up with her antics, although I questioned the legality of it all.

So, now my mom had to pay for the damages to the car, as well as pay bail to get Airi out of the slammer. My sister was supposed to be home sometime within the week, but I wasn't too sure.

I pushed my comforter away and got to my feet, setting Snow on the floor gently. She arched her back in her own form of a stretch and then sat down, wrapping her tail around her paws as she watched me get ready.

It was a little unnerving at first, being watched by two ice-blue eyes while I dressed, but I got used to it over the months. After all, Snow was only a cat.

Once I was dressed, I opened my bedroom door, and Snow bolted out ahead of me, dashing for the stairs. I laughed and followed her, descending the steps as quietly as possible. I'd gotten in trouble on more than one occasion for stomping my way down the stairs.

Snow was waiting for me at the bottom, rubbing up against the wood of the front door. I shook my head in amusement, turning in the opposite direction and moving toward the kitchen. Every morning Snow and I went outside to walk around the block before eating breakfast. But there was no time for that today, not when Mom had specifically told my brother to wake me up and tell me to come downstairs.

"Morning, Mom." I said as I walked into the kitchen.

Hiro and Kato were already sitting at the table, reading the newspaper, and didn't even look up at my voice. Mom was washing dishes at the sink, her checkered, long-sleeved shirt rolled up to her elbows as she worked.

"Good morning, Toboe. Or should I say good afternoon, considering it's one o'clock." Mom said, turning to fix me with a hard stare.

I bit my lip, jumping slightly when Snow weaved her way around my legs, trotting over to my mother and giving her the same treatment.

I'd been sleeping more and more as of late. I didn't know why, but it was just so hard to fall asleep at night. I felt more alert when the moon came out, more energized than I did during the day. Snow was almost the same way, staying up with me until midnight or later, even on school nights, but it seemed to me like she never slept at all.

Mom had given me a lecture already about not sleeping in this long before, because she needed my help around the house. I didn't have the heart to say that this might not be an issue if we hadn't sold my alarm clock.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I was up late last night cleaning the bathroom." With a glance over at my brothers, I added, "I would've gotten to bed sooner if I'd had some help."

"What did you say, Runt?" Kato said, his eyes narrowing as he stared at me. My brothers had started to do more around the house since Airi had been arrested, although I still did more than my fair share – but our mom didn't know that. Cleaning the bathroom wasn't my responsibility, and if I had just gotten my brothers in trouble, I wasn't going to hear the end of it.

But Mom either hadn't heard the most incriminating part of my statement, or she was just choosing to ignore it for now. "Boys, be civil with one another." She said with a sigh, wiping her hands with a dishrag quickly. "Toboe, I need you to go out and get a few things for me."

One of Snow's ears twitched, as if she knew that we would be going for a walk soon. Regardless of what I'd heard about cats, it was hard to get Snow to stay inside the house. She always bolted for the door whenever someone knocked and slip outside before we could stop her, but she never went very far, and she always came back when I called.

"What do you need me to do?" I asked.

"Here, uh," Mom looked around quickly, snatching up a piece of paper off the counter, "I'm going to get your sister later tonight, and I'm going to make something special for her. Just go down to Sal's place, and he should give you everything I need for ten dollars at the most."

I tried to hide my scowl and took the paper from her, as well as the money she offered me. I hated going to Sal's store. It wasn't that I didn't like the guy; he just made me uncomfortable. He was always asking me questions about my mother, so much in fact that I was convinced he had a thing for her, and that was why he always gave us everything we needed for so little.

I was curious about whether my mom liked him back or not. "Okay. I'll be back later."

"Stay safe, and don't talk to strangers, baby brother!" Hiro called as I left, and his and Kato's laughter filled my ears.

I rolled my eyes, stuffing the money and the grocery list into my pocket. Snow bounded toward the door ahead of me, her tail waving excitedly behind her.

I opened the door, stepping out into the light. I really loved summer. The warm weather and usually clear skies always made me feel calm, and the weekly thunderstorms never ceased to make me feel better about life when everything around me was practically falling apart.

It was kind of strange, how calm the sound of rainfall made me, but I wasn't about to question it.

I walked down the sidewalk with Snow in tow, watching as she sniffed every bush and mailbox we passed. I swore that sometimes my pet acted more like a dog than a cat.

Stuffing my hands inside my front pockets, I watched the happenings of the city around me, as people sat outside cafes with their friends, laughing and enjoying one another's company.

I'd never yearned for the kind of companionship that other kids my age did. I was kind of a mama's boy, and Snow was the closest I'd probably ever come to having a real friend. But while I didn't like others' company, I hated being alone. I never understood why I felt that way, how I could be so antisocial and yet want companionship at the same time.

I'd had this thought before, and I'd never said it aloud to anyone other than Snow, but I felt as if I were waiting for something – or maybe the correct term would be some_one_.

When I was younger, I used to have dreams. They confused me, as well as my mom whenever I mustered up the courage to speak to her about them.

I was always running. I just kept running and didn't stop. I always felt a certain kind of desperation coursing through me, like there was something I absolutely had to accomplish. I always had the sense that there was something behind me, but if I turned to see what, I would wake up before I saw what was following me.

Sometimes I'd have control of my own thoughts and decide not to turn, just to see where the dream would lead. But the odd thing was, even if the scenery changed, and I was as tired as I could possibly get, I never stopped running.

I'd stopped having the dream around the same time I began seventh grade, but I still thought about it from time to time. I felt as if it had some kind of significance to me, but I never knew what.

And sometimes in the middle of the night, if I woke up from my sleep, I would feel as if I was on the verge of discovering something important, but then I'd lose hold of my epiphany and usually forget what I had been thinking altogether.

I didn't think I'd ever learn what my dream was supposed to mean, but if I couldn't remember, then it must not have been very important.

So caught up in my thoughts, I almost didn't notice that I was approaching Sal's store. I walked past it for a few steps, but then Snow's loud meow brought me back down to reality. I turned, glancing up at the sign that clearly spelled _Sal's Place_. "You know, you make me feel like an idiot sometimes, Snow." I said, retracing my steps.

Snow's tail lashed through the air swiftly, and she entered the building before me. The bell rang as I opened the door, and I grimaced at the shrill sound. My hearing had always been way too acute for my own good.

Sal was talking with another customer when I walked in – Mrs. Pennon, an elderly woman who lived a few houses down from my family. Sal looked up instantly, a smile on his face. "Hey there, Toboe. Whatcha need?"

I reached into my back pocket and pulled out the list as I walked toward the counter, smiling over at Mrs. Pennon. "Mom asked me to come down here and pick up a few things. She's making a special dinner for my sister."

Sal and Mrs. Pennon shared a knowing glance, and I bit my lip, if only to keep myself from saying something I'd regret.

My family was always the talk of the town it seemed – everyone knew about Airi's arrest, and it had been the main topic of discussion for the whole two weeks she'd been gone.

Sal had actually offered to help my mother pay for my sister's bail, but Mom had refused.

"I don't need handouts from anybody." She'd said sharply when he suggested it the first time. I didn't really get why she'd told him that, seeing as she was basically doing the exact opposite by letting Sal give us huge discounts on everything we bought. But who was complaining? Not me.

"How is your sister, dear?" Mrs. Pennon asked as Sal grabbed my list, moving about to grab everything for me.

"She's holding up." I said slowly, unsure of how to answer without saying too much. "I haven't really spoken to her since the day after she – " I trailed off, my throat tightening painfully, refusing to let the words out.

Even though she was a juvenile delinquent and was usually trying to make my life a living Hell, I really did love my sister, and I missed her a lot. She wasn't as bad as my brothers, despite the fact that they'd never been to jail. She was my family, and I'd never abandon her.

Mrs. Pennon patted my hand gently, a sympathetic smile on her face. "It's alright, Toboe. I'm sure Airi misses you as much as you miss her."

I forced a small smile, although I really doubted the elderly woman's words.

We both turned when we heard a crash from behind us, and I groaned when I saw Snow standing beside a pile of toppled cans of tuna. She sat down when she noticed us watching her, wrapping her tail around her paws and bending her head to lap at her chest fur.

"Don't pretend you didn't do anything wrong." I said as I walked over to her, bending down to restack the cans. "You always look so innocent, but I know for a fact that you aren't."

"Toboe, you don't have to pick those up." I heard Sal say as he returned to the register. "I can get it later."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, continuing to pick up the cans. I didn't appreciate special treatment, especially when it was coming from Sal, who was probably only being nice because he wanted to get with my mother. "No, it's okay. I've got it."

"But – "

"Sal, let the boy do what he wants." Mrs. Pennon laughed. "It's not everyday you find a boy as helpful as Toboe."

"That's what I'm here for." I chimed.

"You see! Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to get home to Mr. Pennon. Goodbye, Sal, Toboe."

"See you later, Mrs. Pennon." I called as she passed me, cringing once more when the bell sounded as she left the store.

I picked up Snow when I was finished cleaning up the mess she'd made, walking back over to the counter. "How much is all this going to be?" I asked, setting Snow down gently by the register.

Sal reached out to pet her, and while Snow didn't purr like she usually did when someone was petting her, she didn't hiss and move away either. "Ten dollars even."

As I observed the stuff Mom had on her list- chicken, lettuce, and cheese among other things – I thought that was way too cheap, even if we did get discounts here, but I didn't say so like I normally would have, for ten dollars was all Mom had given me.

I handed the money over to Sal, watching Snow sniff the package of chicken as he rang everything up for me. "Here you go, Toboe." Sal said, stuffing everything into a brown paper bag. "Tell your mom I said hello, and I hope everything goes well with Airi tonight."

I nodded, reaching for the bag. Snow hopped off the counter as I turned to go, but I stopped as Sal spoke to me again. "Oh, wait! Toboe, would you mind doing me a favor?"

I turned to look at him, an eyebrow quirked in question. "Depends on what it is."

Sal laughed. "You see, there's this dog that comes by here everyday around this time, and I always go out and feed it some leftover hamburger from the previous day. But I have to make a phone call about some stock that's supposed to be coming in tomorrow. Do you think you could go out and leave the hamburger out for the dog really quick?"

I hesitated, glancing down at the groceries in my bag. I was already in hot water with my mom already, and if I was any slower bringing this stuff home, she was probably going to get even angrier. But I was curious about this dog that Sal was talking about. "Yeah, okay. I'm sure it won't take too long."

I walked back toward Sal, set my stuff down, and walked around the edge of the counter, Snow trotting at my heels. Sal led me to the back room, reaching into a refrigerator and pulling out a white package. "Just unwrap it and set it on the steps outside. The dog never comes out when I'm there, but the food's always gone when I check for it at the end of the day."

"How do you know it's even a dog if you've never seen it?" I asked, taking the wrapped meat out of his hands.

"Well, I saw it once." Sal stated, moving back towards the front. "But it ran off when I tried to get near it. I haven't caught a glimpse of it since."

I sighed, turning to the back door and yanking it open. Snow jumped down the steps ahead of me, running over to a puddle of water that had remained from the storm we'd had two days ago.

"Snow, you don't know what's gotten into that water." I called, unwrapping the meat package and setting it on the bottom step, just like Sal had instructed. "And I don't want to have to give you a bath again."

She paid me no mind and crouched beside the water, lapping at it ravenously. I watched her through narrowed eyes, trying to think if I'd remembered to refill her water bowl yesterday.

Snow froze suddenly, her eyes trained toward the back of the alley. It was enclosed in shadow, so I wasn't sure what it was she was staring at, assuming it was just a rat or a bird.

But she didn't get up and give chase like I had expected. Her fur fluffed up so she looked twice her normal size and bared her teeth, a hiss escaping her. I blinked in shock but stumbled backwards when I saw movement in the shadows. I knew instantly why Snow was so worked up.

The dog Sal had been talking about crept into view, its ears flat and head low. It was a light brown in color, with thick fur and amber eyes. I didn't understand why Sal was feeding it. It looked huge – extremely well fed for being a supposed stray. I wondered if that were actually the case.

Snow shot to her paws, hissing and spitting like her life depended on it. And as far as I knew, it just might. "Snow," I hissed, "get over here."

The dog seemed to notice I was there for the first time, its head lifting in interest, posture stiff. I froze as well, waiting for it to snarl and possibly attack me. But to my surprise, the dog's tail actually began to wag, so fast that it blurred as I watched it.

It yipped, racing toward me at an alarming speed. Snow reacted instantly, dashing over to my side, placing herself squarely in the dog's path and arching her back in warning. But the dog kept going, kept racing for me, its eyes shining.

I knew I should've been afraid, but for some reason, I was completely calm, unlike my cat. The dog didn't look threatening at all. If I hadn't known any better, I would've said it looked happy.

The dog leapt over Snow, barreling into me with a momentum that sent me to the ground. I landed with a grunt, trying to push the animal away as it assaulted my face with licks. It didn't seem like it was going to stop anytime soon, but then it let out a small yelp of pain and leapt away, Snow attached to its tail.

"Snow, let it go." I gasped, trying to catch my breath. "It didn't hurt me."

She did listen this time, releasing her grip on the dog's tail. She fell back to the ground and dashed over to me, cuddling herself into my lap and pushing her head into my stomach. I ran my hand down the length of her spine twice, and then looked up, my eyes locking with the dog's.

It didn't try to approach me again, just stood there with its head down, tiny droplets of blood dripping off its tail. "Hey, boy." I said softly, stretching a hand out slowly. "It's okay. She didn't mean it."

Snow hissed, as if trying to contradict my statement. I rolled my eyes, grabbing onto her collar so she didn't try to attack again, my hand still outstretched.

The dog stared at me, then at Snow. And before too long, it simply turned tail and ran.

I watched it go in confusion, glancing back at the hamburger I'd set on the steps. _Why didn't he eat any of it?_

I sighed, getting to my feet slowly, pulling Snow up with me. "You can't just go around attacking huge dogs, girl. You'll end up getting yourself killed someday."

Snow sneezed in my arms, her eyes fixated at the entrance to the alley where the dog had disappeared. I brushed the dirt off my pants and climbed up the steps once more, wrapping my fingers around the doorknob.

But I paused, Snow seizing up in my arms as a howl sounded in the distance.

For some inexplicable reason, a shiver went up my spine.

* * *

><p>Hige ran.<p>

He ran so fast that his eyes stung from the wind, his paws tingling from the hard pavement. He dodged the humans at every turn and didn't even notice when one stepped on his paw. He didn't care about any of that.

He'd seen him. After all this time, he'd finally managed to find one of them. He couldn't believe his luck, that he'd found Toboe in the one place where he visited regularly, just to receive the food that the owner of the store always set out for him.

He hadn't expected to find Toboe when he went to collect his free meal, and the initial shock had frozen him in his tracks. The excitement and pleasure at finally being reunited with his old friend had been short-lived though, for Toboe's eyes had held no recognition when he gazed at him.

But that didn't make Hige any less excited. Unable to contain himself, he howled as he ran, tilting his head back slightly, uncaring of the shouts and stares he received from the humans. Kiba had to know he was coming. He had to know what he'd found.

He rounded a corner sharply, the pads on his paws stinging even more at the force. He followed Kiba's scent trail to the place where his pack leader worked at that time of day, when they weren't out searching for Toboe and Blue. But never again.

Kiba was outside when he ran up, just like Hige'd hoped, and he looked up as the wolf raced over to him, calling his name. The people around only heard whines and yips of excitement from the animal, but Kiba heard every word clearly.

"Kiba! Kiba! You won't believe it!"

Hige squirmed around at Kiba's feet, his tongue hanging out of his mouth as he tried to catch his breath. Being a human did have its perks, like having the ability to sweat, but this was the form Hige was most comfortable in.

He jumped up slightly, then sat back down again, his tail wagging… God, he didn't know what to do with himself. In that moment, he felt like a common dog and not the distinguished, dignified wolf he was born to be, but that didn't matter to him. He couldn't have contained himself if he'd tried.

"Still haven't gotten him fixed, huh, Kiba?" Kiba's boss called out with a laugh.

Hige bared his teeth slightly at the statement, more than a little annoyed. Kiba glanced down at Hige, his expression unreadable. He bent down, reaching out with both hands to run his fingers through the fur on Hige's face, shaking his head affectionately, like he was nothing but a boy greeting his dog.

"Kiba, you know I hate it when you do that!" Hige complained.

"What's the matter, boy?" Kiba asked, keeping up the charade if only to protect his sanity in front of these people. He would probably drive customers away if he talked to his dog like it was a human.

"I found, Toboe!" Hige declared, trying to keep his hindquarters on the ground but failing miserably.

Kiba's eyes widened slightly, but he remained calm. "How'd you get out of the apartment?"

Hige stifled a growl. He hated talking to Kiba like this, and not just because it was highly degrading, as if the weird petting thing weren't enough. "I know it was him. He – He didn't smell the same at all, which I think is partly the reason why we couldn't find him earlier, but it was him. But… God, Kiba, he didn't recognize me!"

Kiba nodded slightly, turning to look at his employer. "Can I run him back to my apartment? It shouldn't take too long."

"Sure, but be back soon. The lunch rush isn't over yet."

Kiba nodded, getting to his feet quickly and walking down the sidewalk, in the opposite direction of their apartment. Hige followed after, slightly calmer now that he'd told Kiba what he'd discovered.

They kept walking until they reached an entrance to an alley, and Hige watched as Kiba crept into the shadows, morphing into a white figure, completely unhidden in the darkness they were surrounded by.

"Where'd you see him?" Kiba demanded, his tail lashing anxiously behind him. "How do you know if it was Toboe if he didn't smell the same?"

"He looked the _exact_ same, Kiba." Hige insisted, crouching low on his belly before his leader, desperate for his story to be believed. "His eyes, his hair. I mean, he did smell a bit the same once I started sniffing him for real, but it was mostly unfamiliar. But it was him, I _know _it. He didn't recognize me or let on that he had, but he wasn't scared of me either. And look at me, Kiba, I'm one of the biggest wolves around."

Kiba huffed, pacing in front of the other wolf in agitation, Hige watching his every move. Hige knew Kiba wanted to believe his story, but there had been so many false alarms in the past year that they'd almost given up all hope of ever finding Toboe and Blue.

But this was the first time Hige had felt _something _resembling pure excitement and recognition. It hadn't been the same with the other boys he'd seen that looked remotely similar to the human form of the wolf he'd known in his past life. Never had he reacted so violently.

Hige could feel it in his gut. That teenage boy had been one of the long-lost pack members they'd been searching for.

"What was he doing?" Kiba pressed. "Who was he with?"

"He was at that grocery store, Sal's Place. He was setting out meat that the owner usually leaves for me. He had a white cat with him."

"A cat? Toboe was afraid of cats." Kiba said, sitting down heavily, yellow eyes burning into Hige's.

"Well, not everything is going to be the same about him. This is a new world, after all." Hige replied, his tail swishing across the ground. "Kiba, can't we just get Tsume and go investigate? I know it was him. We can't just forget about this."

Kiba was silent for a long time, at least in Hige's opinion, and for a moment, Hige was actually worried that Kiba might say no. But then the white wolf tilted his head back and howled, the sound echoing around them. Hige pushed himself onto his haunches as well and joined his friend in his call.

They fell silent after a few moments and waited, ears straining to hear any sort of a reply. Then they heard it – Tsume's howl. He'd heard them, and was on his way. He was doubtful they'd actually found Toboe but was willing to find out.

Hige got to his paws, relief flooding through him, for within a few days – _hours_, even – they'd have Toboe back.

But there was just one thing Hige couldn't get over.

Why hadn't Toboe recognized him?

* * *

><p><em>A.N.<em> Thanks to all who reviewed!


	4. Unbelievable

_**Chapter 3: Unbelievable**_

* * *

><p>I didn't enjoy the walk home as much as I probably should have.<p>

I mean, it was really beautiful outside, and the people that were walking about weren't being loud and screaming at one another like they usually did. The neighborhood, maybe the whole world, was at peace.

But for some reason, I wasn't.

I walked stiffly, the bag of groceries held tightly in my arms. Snow followed close behind me and had been since we left Sal's, glancing behind us every few seconds, probably looking for the dog we'd seen.

That animal had put the both of us on edge, though while I understood Snow's reasoning, I didn't get mine at all. I couldn't get over the way the dog had looked at me, with such joy and recognition. I'd thought before that no animal could be as expressive as Snow, but apparently I had been wrong.

It was almost as if it had known who I was. Why else would it have stared at me in such a manner? But then again, if the dog was a stray, it had probably just wanted some affection, which I was certain it was deprived of. I glanced down at Snow, sympathizing with my pet as she stared back up at me, her blue eyes unblinking.

Some part of me wanted to go back, find the dog, and bring it back to my home, but I knew that wasn't going to be happening anytime soon. Having Snow around hadn't put us in the poor house like my mother had warned, but having a dog as big as the one I'd just seen most certainly would.

_It'll be okay. _I thought to myself as I walked. _Sal will keep feeding it, and it'll be fine. _But that didn't stop me from worrying.

My stride faltered when I heard another howl in the distance. It sounded just like the one from earlier, but this time there was a different one accompanying it.

Snow froze, one paw lifted off the ground as she listened to the howling, her ears and tail twitching. I turned, glancing back the way I'd come, some part of me expecting to see the dog standing there, looking at me. But there was nothing.

"Come on, Snow." I said slowly. "We're almost home."

Snow snapped out of her stupor and bounded ahead of me, seemingly eager to get off the streets for the day. We passed Mrs. Pennon's house, and I could see her milling about in her kitchen from the sidewalk.

I'd always really liked Mrs. Pennon. I remembered a few times from my childhood when I'd left home whenever my siblings' antics became too much, and somehow, Mrs. Pennon had always managed to find me.

She used to take me back to her house and bake cookies, never prying about why I was so upset, just doing her best to try and make it better. I knew she was a lonely woman, for her husband was always working or on business trips, and I felt bad that I hadn't made the time to visit her as often as I used to. I was going to have to change that soon.

I opened the gate outside our house slowly, trying not to drop the bag of groceries as I approached the porch, Snow at my heels. I shouldered open the door – the front door had been damaged for a long time and no longer locked, so if anyone wanted to just walk into our home they easily could – and kicked it shut behind me, being mindful not to close it on Snow's tail.

"I'm back!" I called, walking down the hall toward the kitchen.

Mom was nowhere to be seen, though Kato was still sitting at the table, head in his hands as he stared at the small television on the counter with a bored expression on his face. His eyes flickered over to me when I set the bag on the countertop, glancing around in confusion. I hadn't been gone that long, had I?

"Where did Mother and Hiro go?" I asked.

"To pick up Airi." Kato answered with an annoyed roll of his eyes. "Mom got a call from the station saying that she needed to come get Airi as soon as possible."

"Why? Is something wrong with her?"

"I don't know. She's probably being an annoying bitch, just like usual. I'd get rid of her if I could, too. That's why I stayed behind. I get more time to not be around her."

Kato and Airi had never liked each other. I didn't understand why, seeing as they both liked to pick on me, but whenever one decided to make my life harder, the other would defend me.

I remembered once when Kato stole a game of mine, and Airi got it back for me after thoroughly acquainting her fist with our brother's face. The strange thing was, she stole the exact same game a few days later. I hadn't seen it since.

"You don't mean that." I said, taking the groceries out of the bag and putting them in the fridge so they didn't spoil before Mom came home. "You and Airi may fight a lot, but you're still siblings."

"Yeah, and I'd change that in a heartbeat if I could." Kato snorted, getting to his feet slowly.

Snow's ears went flat against her head as Kato walked closer to us, but she made no move to attack him for a change. Kato ignored her completely, reaching into the brown bag of groceries.

I stilled momentarily, prepared to defend Mom's ingredients from my greedy brother if I had to, but Kato only emptied the bag of the rest of its contents and started to put them away. I watched him in silence, too shocked to say anything. Kato never willingly helped with anything.

My brother caught me staring and glared at me, slamming the cupboard door. "Can I help you with something, Runt?"

I blinked, suddenly reminded of just who I was dealing with. I shook my head quickly, and Kato snorted, leaning back against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. His eyes wandered over to Snow, who was currently walking slowly around the room, her nose to the ground as she tried to sniff out the rats that I was certain were scurrying around our home.

"Hey, I think it's time you got that thing of yours fixed."

Snow glanced up, ears pricked, before continuing on her way. I bit the inside of my cheek, watching my brother incredulously. "What? Why?"

"Male cats keep sniffing around here." Kato said. "Sooner or later, one of them is going to get a hold of Snowball here, and then we'll have millions of little nuisances running around."

"Well, I think that would be a good thing, considering the number of rats we have." I retorted, infuriated by the idea of doing something so inhumane to my cat. I knew it was a common practice, but even so, just thinking about it made me sick to my stomach. Snow didn't deserve that. "And even so, we don't have the money to pay for an operation like that."

"That's really not my problem."

"Maybe you should get a job." I said nonchalantly, bending over to scoop Snow into my arms. "Mom would appreciate the extra help. Plus, you kind of owe her for everything she's ever done for you."

Kato's eyes flashed angrily, and his posture stiffened a bit. "I don't owe her anything. You don't either, Toboe."

I bit the inside of my cheek, situating Snow more comfortably in my arms. Kato normally never used my real name when he was addressing me. It was unnerving, the way he was staring at me as if I were a small child that needed scolding.

Kato must have seen it in my eyes, for he actually had the decency to look slightly uncomfortable, uncrossing his arms. "Let's go get the mail." He said roughly, brushing past me on his way towards the door. "I can't wait to see what bills Mom has to pay this month."

I sighed, following my brother slowly. Even though Kato and Hiro were twins, I had never been able to see any similarities in the two aside from their looks.

Hiro was more pleasant to be around than his twin, always trying to crack jokes in tense situations. Hiro tended to have more good days then Kato, yet he never seemed to have the tolerance for me.

Kato was always depressing to be around. He complained about everything and always talked about the bad things that happened in our lives. I guessed I was lucky, considering that I was a naturally optimistic person, at least in most situations.

Kato kicked open the front door, and Snow flinched when it hit the side of the house with a loud bang. I set her on the ground and watched as my brother jogged down the steps, Snow streaking off to chase a bird that was sitting in the middle of the lawn.

"Oh, look at this." Kato said, leafing through the white envelopes he'd pulled out of our mailbox. "Bills, bills, and more bills. Mom's gonna be thrilled when she gets back. Hide your piggybank, little brother."

My eyes narrowed against my will, half in irritation that he was openly saying that Mom would actually steal from her own children, and half in indignation, for I'd never owned a piggybank in my life.

Kato made his way towards me once more, grumbling something under his breath. I sighed, turning towards the door. "Come on, Snow! I think we've earned a nice rest."

I heard Kato snort behind me, followed by, "I don't think she's listening to you, Runt."

I turned, half expecting to see Snow with one of the male cats Kato had been going on about, but found no such thing. Snow wasn't even focused on me, or another cat for that matter.

Her gaze was solely focused on the light brown dog that was standing by the gate.

She reacted almost instantly, streaking across the lawn towards the large animal. The dog didn't look frightened in any way but still turned and ran down the street at a breakneck pace, a small ball of white fur following in hot pursuit.

"Kato, why'd you let her leave?" I shouted, jumping off the steps and making a mad dash for the gate.

"I didn't think she'd follow the – Toboe, what are you doing? Get back here!"

"Snow, come back!" I shouted, the houses and gardens around me blurring as I raced down the street, ignoring my brother's calls for me to come back to the house.

I'd never been very athletic. I hated sports more than the smell of my brothers' bedroom, but I'd always been the fastest runner in my grade. My gym teacher had tried to make me try out for track on multiple occasions over the course of my junior high years, but I'd declined every time.

I didn't really appreciate my ability, because it gave people the wrong impression about my character and interests, but now I was more thankful than I had ever been.

The two kept going, and I was slightly surprised that Snow was able to keep up with the large dog considering how small she was. My heart clenched every time I saw a car begin to pull out of its driveway, praying with everything that I had that the driver would see the approaching animals and stop.

They never did, but the two managed to evade being hit every time.

"Watch it, kid!" A man snapped as I dashed past him, almost running into him in the process.

"Sorry!" I gasped out, not bothering to stop and offer the man a formal apology. Snow was basically the closest thing to a friend I had, and I wasn't going to lose her because of some stupid, stray dog.

The two kept running until the neighborhoods melted away into the city, with more people, cars, and other things that might possibly hurt my cat. I jumped over a crate of apples that was set out on the sidewalk in front of a convenient store, but my right foot got caught just before I was over it.

I crashed to the ground, not having any time to feel embarrassed about my fall before scrambling to my feet and taking off once more. Then suddenly, the dog made an abrupt turn, almost sending Snow sprawling across the pavement in her haste to keep up.

She regained her bearings and gave chase once more, disappearing around the corner as well. I was starting to have trouble catching my breath – I hadn't had a reason to run this long or hard in years – and then I stopped breathing altogether.

The dog was gone, and with it, Snow.

I scanned the area, but didn't see the recognizable tint of Snow's fur or the sound of her tags. "Snow!" I shouted, bringing my hands up to cup around my mouth. "Snow, where are you?"

I heard a loud crash to the right of where I stood, and a loud screech filled the air. I gasped and ran toward the sound, worry for my pet seeping into my heart.

The sound led me to a back alley near an apartment complex on Main Street, close to where I had found Snow almost a year ago. I swallowed thickly, one hand running across the brick wall as I walked through the darkened place slowly.

I hadn't been terrified of the dark in years, but the hair on the back of my neck still rose slightly whenever I found myself in situations such as these. "Snow?" I called softly. "Come here, girl."

I heard a soft meowing sound from inside a dumpster, and I peered inside it, my eyes watering from the smell. Snow catapulted herself into my arms, her small body heaving with every breath she took. I stumbled back at the impact but clutched onto her tightly, relief flooding through me.

"It's okay." I breathed, still trying to catch my breath myself from my run through the city. "You're fine. I know I promised to never do this, but we're getting you a leash the next chance we get."

"They make cat leashes?"

I jumped, backing up into the brick wall as a voice filled the alley. I blinked in confusion and fear as the brown dog appeared at the entrance, though I knew it hadn't been the one who had spoken.

A boy appeared behind the dog. He looked to be seventeen or eighteen, with dark hair and piercing blue eyes that strangely reminded me of my siblings.

I relaxed the moment I saw him, though I didn't know why. Everything within me was screaming for me to get away, but something told me I didn't need to be afraid of this man. He didn't appear threatening at all. The only thing that I found the least bit intimidating was the confidence I could literally _feel _radiating from his body.

"I didn't mean to scare you." He spoke again, his voice softer than when he had spoken previously. "I only came down to make sure that you were alright."

I nodded dumbly, my grip on Snow loosening subconsciously. "I – I just came to get my cat. She was chasing your dog. It – It does belong to you, right?"

The man's eyes flashed with irritation for a heartbeat, but it was gone as quickly as it appeared. "Unfortunately. I'm sorry if he caused any harm to your pet."

My eyes shifted to the dog, who was sitting rather obediently at the man's feet, his amber eyes focused solely on me. I glanced down at Snow, who was looking rather worse for wear, still trembling within my grasp. The scent of the dumpster still clung to her fur, and I briefly wondered how she had ended up in there in the first place.

"You're bleeding."

I blinked when the man spoke again, glancing down at myself. There was a thin trickle of blood running down my arm, some of it soaking into Snow's fur. I must've cut myself when I fell over the apple crate, and in my haste to catch up to Snow, I hadn't even noticed.

"Come on." The man said, turning to walk back out into the light. "We should probably get that cleaned up or it might get infected." The dog got to his paws and turned to follow his master, glancing back at me quickly before bounding off. "My name's Kiba by the way."

I hesitated for a moment. Following this man was either going to get me killed or fix my injury. _Mother would be furious if she knew I was even debating going with him._

But despite my thoughts, I wasn't afraid to follow him. If anything, I kind of wanted to. So, I took a step forward, followed by another, and then I was walking beside the man and his dog into the apartment building.

And if that wasn't bad enough, I broke another rule by telling him that my name was Toboe.

Despite my earlier feelings of ease, my heart started to thump with anxiety as I entered Kiba's apartment. The cuts on my arm were finally starting to sting, and I really wanted to make the feeling go away, even if I did have an abnormally high tolerance for pain.

But I knew that my mother would be returning home soon. If Kato told her that I'd run off, she was surely going to be worried.

"Just wait here while I find some bandages." Kiba stated, disappearing down the hall quickly.

I let out a quick breath, standing awkwardly in the middle of the entryway while I waited for him to return. I glanced around, taking in the small apartment.

There wasn't much to see aside from a couch, a table, and some chairs over by the window. I found it odd that there weren't any pictures or objects that might have held any sentimental value that I could see. There also weren't any dog toys around, or any signs that a dog even lived in this place.

I glanced down when I felt something wet against my hand, and Kiba's dog stared up at me, his tail wagging when he realized he had my attention. Despite the fact that he was partly the reason I was in this mess, I couldn't help but smile down at the creature, even if Snow was growling softly in my arms.

"He doesn't take a liking to strangers easily." Kiba said when he entered the room once more, bandages in one hand and a bottle of hydrogen peroxide in the other. "But he seems to like you."

"It's probably just because I fed him earlier." I said, tearing my gaze away from the dog.

Kiba shrugged slightly. "If you say so. You can put her down if you want. This won't take too long."

I nodded, setting Snow down on the ground. She stood stalk still as Kiba's dog sniffed her curiously, his nose drawn to the drying blood on her fur from my cuts.

After making sure that Snow wasn't going to try and kill the poor animal, I followed Kiba over to the sink in the small kitchen. I stayed perfectly still as Kiba took my arm and wiped away the blood and dirt from the cuts, then poured the hydrogen peroxide over them.

I glanced at the two animals, just to make sure that they were both alive and well. Snow hadn't moved an inch, though she was watching us intently, her eyes unblinking.

"There, good as new." Kiba declared once my arm was thoroughly wrapped in bandages.

"Thank you." I said, stepping away from the sink, ready to make my move to get out and go home. "You really didn't have to do this, but thanks anyway. I appreciate it."

Kiba nodded slightly, his blue eyes calculating as he watched my movements. "Are you nervous?"

"What?"

"Does being here make you nervous?"

After a moment's thought, I replied, "A little. It's not you, though. I just have a thing about dealing with strangers."

"Understandable." Kiba replied, walking past me back into the main room. "Whoever raised you taught you well."

"Uh, yeah, I guess." I moved back over toward Snow, and she stood, anticipating my moves even before I bent down to pick her up again. The dog backed away, moving to jump onto the couch and lay down.

I waited for Kiba to react, but he only sat down in the chair across from the couch, ignoring his dog. My mom never let Snow up on our furniture unless she was sitting on my lap.

I debated saying a brief goodbye and taking me leave, but for some reason, despite my urge to get the heck out of there, I wanted to stay. "Um, do you have any roommates?"

"Two." Kiba replied, glancing over at me. "They're not here, though."

I made a small noise of contemplation, biting the inside of my cheek. It was a habit of mine, one I'd had since I was a kid.

Kiba blinked as he stared at me, seeming to be at a loss for words. The dog's ears perked as well, and he glanced toward Kiba. The behavior was starting to weird me out, but I didn't have time to dwell on it for long.

"So, what's her name?" Kiba asked.

"Snow." I replied, not needing to ask to know that he was referring to the white bundle in my arms.

"It suites her well. You seem to be especially attached to her."

"She's my best friend." I regretted the words the second they were out of my mouth. I was usually more reserved than this, never blurting things out, like the fact that my best friend was my pet cat.

I couldn't help myself, though. I couldn't explain it, but I felt comfortable telling Kiba one of my most embarrassing faults, even if I had just met him.

He didn't seem bothered by my trust at all, only giving me a small smile. "Animals do tend to be better listeners than humans."

And just like that, I felt completely at ease in Kiba's presence, the urge to leave completely evaporating.

"So, are your roommates nice? What are their names?" I asked, my legs moving of their own accord, guiding me over to the couch until I was sitting down beside the dog.

Kiba's dog shifted slightly, his tail wagging once as he rested his muzzle on my thigh. Snow raised a paw in warning but didn't make a move to strike the animal, only shifted so she was as far away from him as she could possibly get. I smiled and ran my hand down the length of the dog's back.

"Tsume and Hige. They're my best friends, so it is rather nice to live with them, but they both have their imperfections." Kiba replied.

"Doesn't everybody?" I said, lifting my hand off the dog's back slightly as a soft growl rumbled through his body. He stopped when Kiba threw him a swift glance, burying his muzzle within his paws with a huff.

"Hige eats anything in sight, and Tsume's temper gets the better of him most of the time, but you learn to live with it." Kiba stated. "So, what about you? You have any family?"

"My mom and my brothers and sister. Snow, too, if you count her."

"That's good. It's always nice to have family around."

I nodded, not daring to ask if he had anyone other than his friends to fall back on. I didn't want to appear any nosier than I already did, and for all I knew, the guy could be estranged from his family.

Kiba's dog lifted his head suddenly, his gaze resting on the door. It was thrown open from the outside, and I watched as another man that I assumed was one of Kiba's roommates came inside.

He was wearing dark jeans, a leather jacket and biker boots, which was a look that I had seen one too many times on my brothers when they found a new group of friends at school. I was failing to see how someone like Kiba could be friends with someone like this newcomer, but then again, I really had no room to judge since I didn't even know the guy.

The newcomer pulled off his motorcycle helmet, revealing whitish-gray hair and what could only be described as gold eyes. He muttered something under his breath and threw the helmet to the floor but froze when he noticed us sitting there.

Kiba's dog sat up quickly, startling Snow into falling off the couch in her haste to keep the distance between them. Normally, I would've gone to her aid, but I was too startled to do anything at that point. The man was staring at me like I had horns on my head, his golden eyes widened in shock.

"Welcome home, Tsume." Kiba said, breaking the silence. "We have a visitor. This is Toboe."

"Uh, it's nice to meet you." I said awkwardly, finally leaning over to pick up Snow. She seemed irritated that I hadn't gone to her sooner, her tail flicking my nose a few times, though I knew she'd get over it.

Tsume's eyes narrowed, a certain coldness that I found strangely terrifying appearing within them. Kiba's dog growled, the fur on the back of his neck rising slightly.

"What's going on, Kiba?" He demanded, turning his gaze to his friend.

Kiba got to his feet calmly, and I noticed a change in his eyes as well. Not only were they no longer calm and warm, but they were also flecked with specks of yellow that I hadn't noticed before. He seemed to be more intimidating than before, and if I had to choose, I'd say that Kiba looked far more frightening than Tsume, who looked older and stronger than him.

"He was injured, so I brought him back here." Kiba replied, his voice sharp.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it!"

"Tsume." Kiba said lowly, and I detected a hint of a threat in his tone.

I got to my feet quickly, drawing both pairs of eyes towards me. "I didn't mean to cause any trouble." I said, forcing my voice to remain steady and level, trying not to let on how bothered I really was by the whole situation. "Thank you for your help, Kiba. Maybe we'll see each other again sometime."

Neither of them tried to stop me as I made a move for the door, and I averted my eyes when I passed Tsume, acutely aware of his gaze burning into my back as I walked out the door.

I shut it behind me quickly, releasing the breath I hadn't even realized I'd been holding. I shifted Snow into my left arm, running my right hand through my hair restlessly as I walked towards the stairs. "Well, that was interesting." I muttered to myself.

I didn't know what I had done to make Tsume so angry, if one could call it that. As I thought about it, he'd seemed more distressed than anything, despite that look he'd given me and what he'd said to Kiba.

Kiba had said that Tsume had a temper, though. It might not have had anything to do with me.

As I walked down the steps, I told myself to stop thinking about it. It didn't even matter, seeing as I hardly knew those people at all. I would probably never cross paths with them ever again, even if I did know where they lived now.

As Snow sneezed in my arms, my mind wandered to Kiba's dog. He had been surprisingly well behaved and obedient, and it seemed that he and his master had a special bond. If that was the case, then why were there no signs that a dog even lived in the apartment I had just left, and why had he been scrounging around outside Sal's looking for food?

How had he managed to find my home in the first place? And even more importantly, why had he led me back to this apartment?

* * *

><p>"I don't believe it."<p>

"Tsume, we told you we found him. You were taking too long, so we just decided to do it on our own, but _you_ had to go and scare him off just because you didn't like what you heard!"

Kiba sat on the couch, leaning forward on his elbows with his clasped hands pressed against his forehead, eyes closed as he listened to Tsume and Hige bicker.

It had only been at least twenty seconds since Toboe had left the apartment in a hurry, taking almost any hope they had of reforming their pack with him. Kiba understood where Tsume was coming from when he said that he didn't believe that the teenager who had just been in their home only moments before was actually Toboe. Tsume had always been the skeptic of the group.

"He didn't know us." Tsume snapped at Hige, his tail swaying back and forth in the air behind him, head low and teeth bared in a snarl as he stood before Hige, completely in wolf form. "He wouldn't just forget like that. There's no other explanation other than that wasn't him, Hige!"

"That's bull, and you know it!" Hige retorted, mimicking Tsume in posture and aggression, a small growl escaping through his bared teeth. "He looks exactly like him and smells similar enough. Don't be blind to what's right in front of you just because you're afraid that something might happen."

Kiba opened his eyes, staring at the hardwood floor beneath his feet. _One, two, three, four._

When he'd treated Toboe's wounds, they had already started to heal. He hadn't said a word for fear that his curiosities would chase Toboe off, but it seemed that Tsume had already done a fine job of that.

Kiba knew that it would be tough to get the teenager by himself again. Hige had only managed to lure him away from his home and bring him to their home by a stroke of luck that they hadn't had in years, and Kiba wasn't sure if they'd have an opportunity like that again anytime soon.

"He was afraid of cats." Tsume countered. "The real Toboe wouldn't even entertain the idea of looking at those disgusting creatures before, so why would he now?"

"Not everything is going to be the same as before, you idiot!" Hige snarled, and Kiba heard the sound of a neighbor pounding on a wall from down the hall, yelling for him to shut up his animals. "I don't know why Toboe doesn't remember us, but it's up to us to help him so he does. Don't you see that, Tsume?"

"You're going to have to do a lot more to convince me that that was really – "

"He bit the inside of his cheek."

The apartment became silent as Kiba spoke, the only sounds being the neighbor's shouts that gradually faded away into tired grumbles that only the three of them could detect.

"Toboe always bit the inside of his cheek whenever he felt awkward or uncertain." Kiba continued, still staring at the floor. "He was polite, completely honest, and he was totally submissive to me, even though today was the first time we'd seen each other. Or, the first time he'd seen me, anyway. He listened to everything I said and did whatever I asked of him without any objections."

He finally looked up, and when he did, Tsume and Hige were in their human forms, hanging onto Kiba's every word. "That's how I know that he's still in there somewhere. It's the little things that matter in this situation, Tsume, not whether he recognizes us or not."

Tsume rolled his eyes, though he seemed more willing to listen. "He did run out of here just as quickly as the runt would have. Toboe always wanted to keep the peace."

"He chased me all the way from the neighborhoods, Tsume." Hige said quietly. "He didn't even stop once aside from when he fell. He's a wolf all right. We just have to bring it out again."

"But now we'll probably never have another reason to get near him again." Kiba said, suddenly frustrated with Tsume for everything he'd done all over again. "We're already running out of time as it is."

Tsume looked away, eyes burning with silent rage, and said nothing.

After a moment of silence, Hige spoke. "Well, actually, I think I have a solution to our little problem." He reached between the cushions on the couch, pulling out a small, metal key. "I swiped this from his pocket when he was distracted by that cat of his." Hige said slyly, tossing the key chain over to Kiba. "There's your reason, Boss."

Kiba inspected the key closely, staring at the small photos attached to the chain. One of them was of Toboe's cat sitting in a pile of leaves in a yard, standing on her hind legs as she reached for a few that blew in the air.

The other was a family photo from what Kiba could gather. The older woman in the back looked worn and tired, even if she only appeared to be thirty or so, and the smile on her face seemed forced, no warmth in her blue eyes.

There were two boys, both identical, and a girl. The three of them weren't smiling at all.

And then there was Toboe, looking happy to be alive, as usual. Though while his mother and siblings had dark hair and blue eyes, Toboe had auburn hair and brown eyes.

"He doesn't belong with them." Kiba stated bluntly, his eyes hard with determination when he returned his gaze to Tsume and Hige once more. "He belongs with us, and we're going to get him back."

* * *

><p><em>A.N. <em>Thanks to all who reviewed, and those who favorite and alerted and stuff. You guys make this even more enjoyable for me!


	5. If Only You Knew

_**Chapter 4: If Only You Knew**_

* * *

><p>"You're more trouble than you're worth, you know that?"<p>

"You tell me almost everyday."

"Don't get smart with me, Runt. I ran my ass all the way down here to find you so Mom wouldn't come home to find another one of her kids causing problems around the city. Stay at the house next time and don't chase after that furry rat."

I sighed, keeping my head down as I trailed after Kato as he led me through the city streets, raging about how annoying and pesky I was. I could feel the stares of the locals as we passed, though I felt more embarrassed on my brother's behalf than my own.

I looked up when I heard a bark, and I half expected to see Kiba's dog staring at me with the same excited glint in his eyes, but it was a different dog, a German shepherd sitting obediently beside two policemen outside a café.

I felt a rush of disappointment instantly, though I didn't know why. So what if it hadn't been that huge dog that had almost gotten my cat killed? I had only seen it for the first time just an hour ago. I shouldn't have been so interested in it.

But that dog had been peculiar. It had this quality that I couldn't place, something that other dogs I'd seen lacked. He had seemed almost human.

"What happened to your arm?"

"Huh?" I started, registering that Kato had just spoken to me, though I didn't catch whatever he'd said.

"I asked you what happened to your arm." Kato said slowly, as if I were a dumb child that he needed to teach to speak.

"Oh." I said smartly, deciding to ignore his tone, at least for now. "I – I fell when I was trying to catch Snow and scraped it up."

Kato rolled his eyes. "Clumsy as ever, I see. Where'd you get the bandages?"

I hesitated. Telling Kato about the boy I'd met was either going to get me in trouble or get Kiba in trouble. But I couldn't explain how I'd gotten bandages without bringing him up. "The dog's owner invited me into his apartment and cleaned the cuts. I left right after."

"Do whatever you want, I don't really care." Kato replied, bored, opening the gate and walking toward our front door. "Mom's the one that doesn't like you hanging around strangers."

"Your concern is touching." I mumbled as I followed him into the house, shutting the door behind me as my brother bounded up the stairs toward his bedroom.

I stood in front of the door for some time, moving my thumb in small circles over Snow's side. She didn't purr, though she did lay her head in the crook of my arm, heaving a huge sigh.

I could hear movement from the kitchen, accompanied by pots clanging and running water from the sink. My mom must have been home, and with her, Airi.

I didn't know how I felt about seeing my sister again after all the weeks she'd been gone. Had her time in jail changed her for the better or made her even worse than before? _I guess there's only one way to find out._

I set Snow on the floor gently and walked toward the kitchen, listening to the jingling of Snow's collar as she bounded up the steps. Now I knew exactly where Airi was if Snow was refusing to go into the kitchen.

Mom was alone when I walked in, hunched over the stove as she stirred a pot of whatever she was making. I opened my mouth to call a greeting, then paused, getting a closer look at my mother.

Her hands were trembling slightly, small tremors that probably only I could pick up, and when she turned her head a bit, I could see the tear tracks running down her face. I didn't know what to do, but I also didn't want to leave her in this state without at least figuring out what was wrong.

"Mommy?" I said hesitantly. I hadn't called her that in years, not after Hiro and Kato started making fun of me for it. I did stop after they confronted me a few times, though I didn't know if my mom had been happy about it or not.

She jumped at the sound of my voice, reaching up to wipe away her tears hastily. It was pointless though, for her face was still wet and splotchy, her eyes red. "Oh, Toboe, you scared me." She said, turning back to the stove. "What are you doing in here?"

"Ah, I just got back from a walk with Kato." I replied, taking a few steps closer to her. "Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong, honey, I just – " Her voice cracked on the last word, and she stepped away from the stove, letting go of the wooden spoon and covering her face with both hands.

I didn't know what else to do, so I moved closer and hugged her. She used to do the same for me when I was younger whenever I got upset, and I always felt better. I knew it was the best thing I could've done when she clutched at me tightly, strands of her black hair falling against my face.

"It's your sister." She choked out eventually. "I don't know what to do about her. When I went to pick her up, she didn't even seem happy to see us. She asked if she could stay in jail, for heaven's sake!"

My sister always seemed to know just what to do and say to make our mother so distraught. This happened even when I was a small child. The issues were never really taken care of, just buried deep within the both of them until they finally got into a screaming match about how infuriating they both viewed the other.

I knew my mother loved Airi, but I didn't know if I could say the feeling was received well by my sister. For as long as I could remember, the two had never been very close. I didn't know if something had happened long before I was old enough to understand what was going on, or if things had always been this way between mother and daughter.

"It's okay, Mom." I said slowly. "You know what Airi's like. She doesn't mean any of it."

I felt her nod against me, though I knew she didn't believe what I was saying to her. I really didn't either. "I try to do the best I can for her, but . . . it seems like it's never enough." Mom sniffed pulling away from me and running a hand through my hair fondly, a weak smile on her face. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Toboe."

"I can go talk to Airi if you want." I said hesitantly, afraid to make the offer. "I don't know if she'll listen to me, though."

"It's worth a shot, I guess." Mom sighed, letting go of my completely and turning back to the stove. "Tell your brothers dinner is ready while you're at it."

I nodded, turning to leave. I already regretted saying I'd talk to Airi, but I'd do anything to help my mother.

As I made my way toward the stairs, I saw that Snow was crouched on the last step, her paws tucked neatly under her chest as she watched me through half-lidded eyes. I passed her on my way up, deciding to leave her be since she looked so tired.

I knocked on my brother's closed bedroom door, not waiting for them to open it before saying, "Dinner's ready." I heard a small noise from inside but didn't stay, moving on to my sister's room.

I'd taken it upon myself to clean my sister's room while she was incarcerated, but I knew from the moment I stepped foot inside that my efforts had been in vain.

Stuff was scattered all over the place, drawers opened, clothes strewn over her vanity, books scattered all over the floor. Airi didn't look to be in a good mood. Her face was frozen in a mask of anger and exhaustion as she laid on her bed, her headphones in as she listened to her music.

She glanced over at me quickly before ripping her headphones out of her ears. "What do you want, Runt?"

I didn't flinch at her words. I'd kind of missed listening to her bark at me in the time she'd been gone. "Mom's crying in the kitchen."

Airi scoffed, putting one earpiece back into her ear. "It's what she deserves. I'm so sick of her, Toboe, you have no freaking idea. I can't wait until I'm old enough to blow this joint for good."

"What's so bad about it?"

"Um, hello? We're one step away from being in the poor house, in case you haven't noticed."

"Of course I've noticed."

"And on top of that, our single mother barely remembers that she has four kids at home, and she hardly even tries to provide for us. Living paycheck to paycheck is the most retarded thing ever."

"At least we have a roof over our heads, Airi." I said firmly. I couldn't believe how ungrateful my sister was being. I didn't know if she noticed how many homeless people there were in our city, how fortunate we were even if we didn't have much. And I didn't know what she was complaining about. She, Kato, and Hiro got whatever they wanted most of the time, and they hardly had to work for it. "There are some people who aren't as fortunate as we are."

"Spare me the grievances of other people's misfortunes." Airi snapped, glaring over at me. "Why are you even in here?"

"I was going to ask if maybe you could be a bit nicer to Mom, but I can see that's not going to happen." As I turned to go, I added, "And dinner's ready."

"Wait."

"What?" I turned, watching as Airi got to her feet, throwing her music player onto the bed carelessly.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I kind of missed you while I was gone, Runt." She said roughly, smacking my head lightly as she passed me. "I'd hug you, but that'd be weird, so I won't."

I sighed but couldn't keep myself from smiling just a bit. That was the best I was going to get out of my sister.

Airi disappeared into the bathroom just as there was a knock on the door. I stood still for a moment, just testing to see if anyone else would volunteer to get it for once.

"It's okay, I'll get it!" So much for that.

I descended the stairs again, passing Snow on my way, though she didn't get up like she normally would to greet whatever visitor had decided to show up.

When I opened the door, my body froze for a few heartbeats when I saw who it was that was on my porch. Kiba looked calm even though I knew I was being a bit too obvious about my surprise.

With him was a boy who looked to be my age, if not a year older, with light brown hair and brown eyes. He flashed me a grin when he noticed me staring, his eyes shining.

"Uh, hi?" I stammered, too stunned to do much else.

"You left this at my apartment." Kiba stated, holding up a small key chain.

My heart stalled when I saw it, and I subconsciously reached down to pat at my pocket, wincing when I realized that the key was indeed mine. "Thanks." I said, reaching out to take it hesitantly. "Wait, how'd you know where I lived?"

"I've seen you around town. I do the paper route around here sometimes." Kiba's companion answered, sticking his hand out. "My name's Hige."

I laughed a bit, though nothing was really funny about my current situation, and shook his hand. "I'm Toboe."

"Toboe, who was at the door?" Airi appeared behind me, a suspicious look on her face as she placed a hand on my shoulder, jerking me backward a bit so my hand was pulled from Hige's. Kiba eyed my sister curiously, while Hige just looked amused, sticking his hands inside the pockets of his sweatshirt. "Who are they?"

"Airi, this is Kiba and Hige." I replied, feeling even more awkward now that my sister was involved. I didn't want Kiba and Hige to be subjected to the mess that was my family.

"Did you finally make some friends while I was in the slammer?" The amusement drained from Hige's face when my sister spoke again, and I noticed the tiny shake of Kiba's head, how his eyes flickered over to his friend for a heartbeat. Maybe I'd only imagined it, though.

"They were just giving me my key." I muttered, stuffing the metal object back in my pocket.

Airi glanced down at me, one eyebrow raised in question. "Why would you need a key? The door doesn't even lock."

I bit the inside of my cheek, averting my eyes from my sister's. I'd never told anyone, not even my own mother, but I kept a box underneath my bed. I started keeping it when I was ten, when my siblings liked to steal anything that had any importance to me.

It only opened with the key, and until now I'd managed to keep it hidden from Airi and my brothers. Now that she knew it existed, my sister was probably going to be curious as to what the key went to.

"Toboe, Airi, who are you talking to?"

Mom appeared, saving me from having to stumble over ways to distract my nosy sister. Airi rolled her eyes, turning and stalking away, and I saw a flash of pain in my mother's eyes. _God, could this get any worse?_

"Who's this, Toboe?" She asked once she got over Airi's coldness.

"I'm Kiba, and this is Hige." Kiba said, nodding a hello to my mother. "My dog was chasing your son's cat, and Toboe fell when he was trying to catch them. I invited him into my home to treat his wounds, and he left his key."

"We were bringing it back to him." Hige piped in, probably a little unnecessarily.

Mom didn't seem bothered, though. In fact, she actually smiled, something that was becoming rare around this house. "Well, how nice of you. We were just about to sit down for dinner. Why don't you stay and eat with us? It's the least I could do, since you helped out Toboe."

Hige perked up, nodding enthusiastically. Mom nodded, turning to walk back to the kitchen. "Well, Toboe, don't just stand there. Invite our guests inside."

I blinked, glancing back at her retreating form over my shoulder. "Um, come on in."

"Don't need to tell me twice." Hige laughed, slipping past me into my home.

Kiba sighed, stepping through the threshold much more slowly. "Show a bit of self-control, Hige. We're only guests here."

As the two followed my mom into the kitchen, I hung back. Inviting guests in for dinner wasn't too outlandish for my mother, but for some reason, this whole situation was leaving me feeling apprehensive.

I glanced at the stairs, noticing that Snow was still sitting on the bottom step, her eyes on me. She looked just as flustered as I felt.

"So, Kiba, Hige, how old are the both of you?"

"I'll be seventeen in a few months." Hige mumbled around a mouthful of my mother's chicken salad. "Kiba's eighteen."

This whole dinner situation was starting to weird me out. I mean, I sort of liked having Kiba and Hige here, but having them around my family was proving to be a really bad idea.

Hiro and Kato weren't trying to hide their displeasure at having the two of them in our house at all, giving them blatant stares whenever they said something they didn't like.

Airi's initial reaction to the two had disappeared, and now it seemed to me that she was flirting with Hige. The sixteen-year-old didn't seem too bothered, taking my sister's comments in stride, and I couldn't help but think that Airi was only acting this way to rile our mother.

Mom just kept asking question after question, and while the interrogations were making me uncomfortable, Kiba and Hige seemed unfazed. Kiba had been right to say that Hige had an appetite, for he'd already had seconds when none of us had even finished our first plate.

"Wow, sixteen and eighteen?" Mom repeated, a frown on her face. "That's a bit young to be living on your own. Where are your parents?"

"Mine died when I was little, and Hige never knew his. I've been taking care of him for a while now." Kiba replied coolly.

"Oh, how sad." Mom said sympathetically, glancing over at me as if I was the one who needed the comfort. "It must be hard living on your own."

"Well, there is Tsume. He's nineteen, about to be twenty." Hige said. "He's kind of like the dad I never knew… in a way. I mean, he yells at me enough."

Airi gigged in that obnoxious kind of way that told me she was definitely faking, and Kiba rolled his eyes just as Hiro did, and the two locked eyes for a moment. Hiro looked away first.

"Do you work, Kiba?" I stifled a groan as Mom continued to pry, picking at my food half-heartedly. Snow was sitting at my feet, just like she always did. Snow never begged for scraps. She just liked to stay close.

The dark-haired boy nodded. "I work at Blue Star Café."

"I'm supposed to stay at home and clean up the messes he and Tsume make." Hige whispered to me, his eyes shining with mischief. "But I'm kind of lazy."

I stifled a laugh, not wanting everyone's attentions to fall on me.

"Are there any openings?" Mom asked curiously, glancing over at my siblings. "I think it would be good for those three if they got out in the world and started working."

"Yeah, no thanks." Hiro and Kato said simultaneously.

"What's the point if our money's just going to be taken away from us?" Airi demanded, glaring over at our mom.

"Airi." Mother said, a hint of a warning in her voice.

"Oh, no." I muttered under my breath, and Hige glanced over at me, surprised.

Maybe if he knew what was coming, he would've looked more uncomfortable. Kiba must have sensed the change in the atmosphere, for his back straightened against his chair, his gaze shifting from Airi, to my mother, and then back again.

"Don't 'Airi' me!" Airi snapped, doing a complete one-eighty from her previous advances toward Hige. "I have every right to speak my mind in my own house."

"So, the weather." Hige said loudly, abandoning his food. "Pretty nice, huh?"

"Airi, please, don't do this now." Mom sighed, sounding resigned even before the fight could begin. "We have guests."

"Oh, like our neighbors don't know how dysfunctional we are?" Airi said sarcastically. "Kato still smokes out the window, Mom. The whole neighborhood thinks we're crack heads already."

"Shut up, Airi." Kato said, his expression bored, not even caring that Airi had just spilled his secret. "No one's in the mood for your crap right now."

"Don't tell me to shut up, Kato. Mom's the one that cleans out our savings accounts to pay for all the shit she buys."

"Airi!"

I glanced down at my untouched plate. If Airi was telling the truth, I'd had no idea my mother had done that, though I wasn't very surprised.

There was a long moment of silence, the only sound coming from Snow as she moved about underneath the table, and then Mom spoke, her voice tight. "Toboe, why don't you take Kiba and Hige to the door?"

I got up without hesitation, closely followed by Kiba and Hige, and Snow dashed ahead of us, seemingly just as eager to escape the area as I was.

I turned once we reached the front door, and I could only imagine how red my face must have been. "I'm sorry you had to see that." I said quickly. "My sister just got out of jail today, and everyone's been on edge for a while now, and – "

I couldn't believe I was spilling everything so easily, and I probably would've kept going had it not been the expression on Hige's face. He looked horrified, his jaw slack as he listened to me babble.

I instantly shut up, embarrassed if not ashamed by the state of my family. I had known from the beginning that this was going to be a disaster.

Kiba's face didn't betray any underlying emotion, though I somehow knew he was just as frazzled as his companion. "You don't have to apologize, Toboe." He said gravely. "None of this is your fault."

I looked down at the ground, taking comfort in Snow's blue eyes. She was the only constant thing about my life. I didn't know what I would do if I lost her.

"Listen," Kiba said quietly, glancing back towards the kitchen where the raised voices of my sister and mother could be heard. "Why don't you come by the apartment sometime tomorrow? I think it would do you good if you got a break. Hige kind of needs a kid his age to play with too."

"I don't play." Hige said, that perturbed expression still on his face, but only slightly. "And for the record, I'm practically a year older than he is. But I'm not opposed to hanging out with you, kid."

"I'm not a kid. I'm only a year younger than you, remember?" I said, surprising even myself.

Hige smirked. "I think I like you, Toboe."

Kiba snorted, though he looked pleased. "Then it's settled. I'm looking forward to seeing you again, Toboe."

"Me too." I said as they walked out the door, panic gripping me the moment they set foot out the door.

They both turned as soon as I registered the pinch in my stomach, each giving me a smile before leaving my yard. I shut the door behind them, letting out a huge sigh. I could still hear Airi yelling, but now Hiro and Kato had joined in.

Tears appeared in my eyes as Mom screamed back at them, and I leaned my back against the door, sliding down to the floor. Snow crept up to me slowly, ears pressed flat to her head, until eventually she was in my lap, leaning up to lick my chin.

I rubbed her head gently, trying to block out the sounds coming from the kitchen, which was easier said than done. I didn't know why, but I really wished Kiba and Hige had stayed. They'd made the atmosphere brighter, somehow.

The chaos around me had stopped only until they'd left, and I missed the peace they brought into my home. Why did things have to be this way?

* * *

><p>"Toboe, move over, you're taking up all the space."<p>

"I am not. And even if I was, there's still a perfectly good chair sitting over there. It's practically calling to you."

"Am I going to have to forcefully remove you from my couch?"

"I'd like to see you try." I laughed, tipping my head over the arm of the sofa to smirk up at Hige.

He stood over me with a scowl on his face, arms crossed, though I knew he was fighting the urge to laugh along with me. "Come on, dude, I'm twice your size. Just move over and no one gets hurt."

"What happens if I say no?"

"Gah, I give up!" Hige cried, throwing his hands up in the air, walking over to the chair and sitting down heavily. "You are impossible."

"So I've been told." I replied, linking my hands together behind my head, watching the ceiling fan as it spun around, almost making me dizzy.

It had been a week since the catastrophic dinner at my home, and things had definitely changed in my life.

I had gone over to Kiba's the day after they'd witnessed the fight between my siblings and my mom, and I just kept coming back. Kiba was usually gone, working at the café to help support his friends, but Hige was usually always there when I showed up.

He and I had hit it off almost instantly, and I had to admit he was really fun to be around. He mostly liked to talk about girls and food, always planning his next meal even before he'd finished the previous one. But even though Hige was probably the most girl crazy, gluttonous person I'd ever met, he was kind of what I wished my own brothers were like.

My mom didn't really mind that I was spending so much time away from home – I thought she was relieved I was finally beginning to have somewhat of a social life – but some part of me couldn't help but think that she was glad I wasn't around.

After her fight with Airi, my mom had admitted to taking money from all of our bank accounts and using it to pay our bills, and that mine in particular had been used to pay for Airi's bail. I told myself I didn't really mind, but I kept going back to the fact that she never told me what she was doing. I would've gladly given her the money if she'd asked.

"Where's Bear?" I asked, trying to take my mind off my home life.

I'd learned that Kiba's dog's name was Bear, which I thought suited him perfectly, but I'd only seen him once in all the time I'd spent here. Kiba had been home that day, Hige out running errands with Tsume, who I'd also seen practically as many times as the dog.

I didn't know what to make of Kiba and Hige's roommate. I hardly ever saw him, and when I did, he always ignored me. Sometimes he'd mumble a greeting if I said something first, then disappear to his room where he stayed until I left. I tried not to let it bother me, though I honestly didn't know what I'd done to make him dislike me so much.

"He went to work with Kiba today." Hige said, taking a huge bite out of a slice of the pizza that he'd ordered an hour or so ago. "I don't really like him that much."

"Don't let him hear you say that." I said. "I think Bear could beat you in a fight if it came down to it."

"Oh, really? Why do you think that?" Hige retorted, amusement apparent in his voice.

"I don't know." I said with a slight shrug. "He's got the advantage of teeth and claws. The worst you could probably do is nag him to death."

"You wound me with your words, Toboe. It's nice to know you have so little faith in me that you think Kiba's dog could take me down."

"Bear's tough." I said simply, glancing over at the clock. " I should probably go now."

"Do you have to? It feels like you've only been here for five minutes."

"It's been more like five hours." I laughed, pushing myself into a sitting position. "And besides, my mom wants me home before she leaves for her date with Sal."

Hige scrunched his nose, getting to his feet when I did. No matter how much protesting I did, Hige always insisted on walking me home when I left their apartment. It made me feel like a child, but I didn't dislike spending extra time with the sixteen-year-old. Maybe Hige felt the same way. "She's actually going out with that guy? He seems like a real sleaze to me."

I shrugged. "He's alright."

Sal had finally convinced my mom to go out on a date with him, and they'd both been planning this night for almost three days now. I knew my mom was excited, and I was happy for her, but I didn't know how I felt about her dating Sal of all people.

He was a good friend to my family, but I couldn't picture him being my mom's boyfriend, or possibly my stepfather.

"So, your mom's leaving you alone with Airi, Kato, and Hiro?" Hige asked as we walked out of the apartment, locking the door behind us.

"Well, yeah. We don't need a babysitter, Hige."

"Still." Hige said, following me down the hall and down the stairs, waving a brief hello to the receptionist as we passed. "I don't think they're responsible enough to make sure your house doesn't burn down while your mom's gone."

"You make it sound worse than it is." I muttered, though I knew that wasn't the truth.

"Do you want me to stay over there until your mom gets back?"

"No. You know Hiro and Kato don't like you very much."

"Well, I may not be able to beat Bear in a fight, but I could easily take the Twins of Terror down." Hige said with a smirk.

We both laughed, falling into a comfortable silence as we walked down the street. It was a really nice day out, a welcome change from the constant rain that had been hitting our town all week. "How's Snow doing?" Hige asked, his arms linked behind his head as we walked.

As I thought about my pet, I felt increasingly guilty. I hadn't been spending much time at home, and I hadn't brought Snow with me when I went to Kiba and Hige's at all. It was mostly because I didn't know when Bear was going to be around, and he and Snow didn't get along at all, so in a way I guessed I was protecting the both of them.

Leaving her home alone with my siblings probably wasn't a better alternative, but I didn't have any other option. I was definitely going to start spending more time with her when the weekend started. "She's good. I think she's starting to miss me since I'm gone so much now."

"Do you miss her?"

"Well, of course. She was my only friend for a little over a year." I said truthfully. I didn't feel the need to censor myself in front of Hige anymore. I'd come to realize that he wasn't going to judge me no matter what I said. "But it's more than that, I guess. We kind of have this connection that I can't really explain."

Hige nodded, his eyes drifting towards the pavement. "I know what that feels like."

We didn't speak again until we reached my house, and even then we didn't say much, because we could see Kato and Hiro watching us through the window. Hige had this crazy theory that my brothers were jealous that I was spending all my time with him and Kiba instead of them, but I knew that Hiro and Kato didn't really care.

"You know where to find us if something happens, Toboe." Hige said, standing in the middle of the yard as I walked up the front steps.

"Thanks, Hige, I'll be sure to remember that." I laughed, waving to him as I opened the door. "See you later."

"See ya, Toboe."

When I closed the front door behind me, I grinned when I heard the familiar sound of jingling metal coming from upstairs. Snow bounded down the steps two at a time, practically catapulting herself into my arms before I even had the chance to completely turn around.

"She really missed you."

"I guess so." I laughed as Snow nuzzled her face into the crook of my neck, watching my mom as she came down the stairs.

I could tell she was preparing to leave for her date with Sal. She was fixing one of her earrings with one hand and smoothing down her blue dress with the other. I hadn't seen her look so joyful in a really long time.

"Are you going to be okay here with your brothers and sister while I'm gone?" Mom asked me, grabbing her purse from the small table to the right of the staircase.

"Do you have that little faith in us, Mother?" Hiro asked as he and Kato made an appearance, misplaced smiles on their faces.

I eyed the pair warily, unable to believe what I was seeing. The two of them had hardly spoken to Mom since Airi had announced that Mom had been using our money.

Even Mom seemed perplexed by my brother's words, but she smiled at him anyway, obviously not as bothered as I was by the whole thing. "I know you'll take good care of Toboe and your sister."

"Yeah, we're going to have a good time here tonight." Kato stated, Hiro nodding in agreement. "Maybe we'll play some games."

Now that was a red flag statement if I ever heard one. Hiro and Kato didn't play games. They smoked and listened to loud, screeching music, not much else.

"I think I'm going to go take a nap." I said quickly, moving around my mom to get to the stairs. "I'm really tired. Have fun on your date, Mom."

"Thanks, Toboe. See you in a few hours!"

I shut myself in my room as soon as Mom left, setting Snow down on my bed before throwing myself down onto it myself. I closed my eyes with a sigh, and Snow curled up at my side, heaving a sigh of her own as well. It wasn't long before I fell into the comforts of sleep.

* * *

><p>When I woke up, I almost instantly knew that something was wrong. For starters, Snow was nowhere to be seen, and it was no secret the white feline almost never left my side. But to make matters worse, the sound of music was practically blasting from downstairs, and the house smelled of smoke and liquor.<p>

Instantly awake, I got out of my bed and opened my door, the scents coming from downstairs even stronger than before. My eyes watered from the strength of it, but I moved down the hall anyway, the sound of voices rising over the obnoxious metal music that Hiro and Kato loved to listen to.

I knew that my siblings were throwing a party. Apparently when they'd told Mom that we were going to have a good time at home while she was on her date, they'd sort of meant it.

For a moment, I wished that Kiba or Hige were with me, just so I wouldn't have to face this situation alone, but I pushed the feeling away. They had better things to do than hold my hand whenever I faced something terrifying. They may have been the only people that I was able to call friends aside from Snow, but I had to keep telling myself that they probably weren't always going to be there.

Kiba was eighteen, and Hige sixteen. They had better things to do than hang around a fifteen-year-old whose best friend was his pet cat.

As I descended the stairs, I passed a couple who were getting a bit too close on one of the steps, and I was more thankful that we had a wide staircase than I could ever remember being.

Once I reached the bottom, it was a battle to move more than a few inches. There were people everywhere, almost everyone holding a red cup full of something that burned my nose every time I smelled it. I tried to pick out my siblings' voices amongst the noise, which I had grown exceptionally good at after all the times they'd ditched me in public places, but I only managed to locate Airi, who was in the kitchen.

"Excuse me." I mumbled as I squeezed past some guy wearing nose rings, trying to ignore the look he was giving me.

Airi was sitting on the counter when I walked in, wearing an impossibly short black dress, a cigarette hanging from her lips as she talked to a boy. To be more specific, it was her ex-boyfriend Jiro.

Jiro had black hair like Airi, though his eyes were brown, making him far less intimidating than my sister. He'd cheated on her with one of her friends a few months back, and Airi had sworn never to speak to him again. But I knew that wasn't the case, for they were too close to be having a normal conversation.

Some of Airi's friends were present, some I'd seen before and others I'd had the pleasure of never meeting, but they didn't seem bothered at all. "Airi, have you seen Snow?" I asked, too afraid to bring up the fact that they were having a party when she'd only gotten out of jail a week before and was still on probation.

Her eyes moved over to me slowly, and I was startled by how unfocused they were. Jiro turned as well, an annoyed expression on his face.

"Snow?" One of Airi's friends giggled. "It's the middle of June. Airi, you never told me your brother was a comedian."

"He's an idiot." Airi mumbled around the cigarette, one hand on Jiro's shoulder, the other pressed flat against the countertop. "No, Toboe, I haven't seen her. Now that we've stated the obvious, get the hell out of here."

"It's my house, too." I snapped irritably, probably too defiantly for Airi's taste. "And Mom's going to be angry when she comes home and sees this."

Airi's blue eyes flashed, even if they still looked foggy, and it didn't even seem like she was looking at me. At least not completely. "Want me to get rid of him, babe?" Jiro asked, throwing a glare in my direction.

I took that as my cue to leave, not trusting my sister's judgment at this point to keep her boyfriend from doing something to me. I sprung back as a football flew past me, hitting a picture hung on the wall and knocking it to the ground. I flinched when it shattered, the glass crunching underneath people's shoes as they walked right over the mess, uncaring that they had ruined a perfectly good picture.

"Hey, Kato, pass it over here!" I heard someone shout.

My brothers' location identified, I forced my way into the living room, half expecting to see my brothers sitting with their friends, passing around a bottle of beer or something. It wouldn't have been the first time. But what I saw was much more horrifying.

Kato was holding Snow, and I watched as he tossed her into the air like she was nothing but that football, her screeching almost drowned out by the music. "Kato, what are you doing?" I cried, shooting forward and snatching Snow right out of some guy's arms. "Don't do that to her!"

Kato scoffed, leaning back on the couch with the same look in his eyes that Airi had. The boy I had taken Snow from looked confused, staring down at his open arms as if he'd lost something important.

"Come on, Toboe, don't be such a party pooper." Kato said, drinking from a green, glass bottle. "Snow was having fun, weren't you, girl?"

Snow hissed, her ears flat against her head as she glared up at Hiro, who had gotten to his feet and was lumbering over to us. "Come on, Toboe, just hand her over."

I clenched my jaw, taking a step back. "No."

"I'll take her from you if I have to." Hiro growled out, reaching for my cat.

"I said no, Hiro!" I snapped, smacking his hand away and turning to make my escape.

What I hadn't planned on was Hiro getting angry over my measly act of defiance. In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have done it. I knew my brother was intoxicated, and at that point he was highly unpredictable, but I'd foolishly believed that Hiro would just let me make my escape.

He shoved me from behind, and the strength of the shove threw me against the wall, towards the fireplace. I could've sworn I heard the crack over the music when my head hit the side of the mantel above the fireplace, as well as Snow hitting the floor when I dropped her at the impact. I fell to the ground heavily, managing to brace my right hand against the wall, keeping my body from completely crashing.

Once the world stopped spinning and I could actually see what was in front of me, I brought a shaking hand up to my head, wincing in pain when I felt a sting just above my right eye.

Hiro looked startled, as if he hadn't meant to push me in the first place. Snow made a noise beside me, a feral growl I had never heard before that made her entire body tremble. Kato and Hiro's friends were laughing, clapping Kato on the back as well even though he hadn't been the one to shove me.

Saying I was shocked was an understatement. If anything, Kato would've been the one to do something like this to me, not Hiro. "Maybe now he'll finally shut up." One of my brothers' friends laughed.

I didn't know what to do or say, blinking rapidly as a trickle of blood fell right in front of my eye, trying to get my eyes to stop crossing and _focus_. Hiro frowned, staring down at me uncertainly. "Get up. You're not hurt."

He didn't sound commanding or confident in any way. If I hadn't known any better I would've thought he regretted what he had done to me. But this was Hiro we were talking about. He, Kato, and Airi never regretted anything when it came to me.

For the first time in my life, all I could do was look at my older brother in anger, even if I was still seeing double. Who treated their family like this? Slowly, I got to my feet, my legs shaking slightly. "See." Kato stated. "You're perfect."

"Coming from your mouth that's hardly a compliment." I snapped weakly, slurring over my words, and turned to leave the room.

I thought I heard him call for me, but it was probably just my imagination. Either way I didn't stop walking. I pushed through the crowd of people once more, ambled back up the stairs, and entered my room, slamming the door and locking it behind me.

I barely noticed when Snow rubbed up against my legs, meowing in the way she always did whenever I was upset. I planned on going to the bathroom connected to my room to clean myself up, but I guessed my body had other plans.

I made a move for the window, unlocking it blindly and pulling it open. Maybe if I'd been more focused on what I was doing, I would've noticed how I opened the window without any trouble at all, when the thing had been impossible to lift for countless years.

I climbed out the window quickly, turning as an after thought to slam it shut behind me, locking Snow inside. She jumped back behind the glass, having had every intention of following me, and then moved closer to the window again, pawing at it with unsheathed claws.

I didn't know what I was doing, but there was no way Snow was coming with me. She was probably safer in the house with my siblings and their friends than with me in the streets. I moved away from the window, inching my way down the roof and toward the tree in our front yard.

When I was younger, I used to escape the house this way whenever my siblings were especially cruel to me, but those incidents seemed rather unimportant compared to this. I hadn't had a reason to climb that tree in years, and I had been rather proud of myself that I could withstand my brothers and sister and not take the easy way out.

I practically flung myself onto the nearest branch, the leaves shaking from a combination of my weight and the wind. I glanced back at my window, at Snow's form that was still pawing rather frantically at the glass, and then jumped down.

My ankles stung at the impact, but none of the wasted teenagers in my yard seemed to notice that something had just jumped from the treetops. I walked quickly across the lawn, then through the gate and down the street.

I could still hear the music as I got further and further away, and I briefly wondered if Mrs. Pennon had called the police to report a disturbance yet. I hoped no one would panic when they found out that I wasn't home.

The streets were practically vacant, nothing but the sound of my rapid breathing reaching my ears apart from the sounds coming from the direction of my house. I sniffed suddenly, and with a groan I was sitting on the curb, my head buried in my knees as I finally began to process what had just occurred.

Everything had happened so fast, I couldn't even remember what I had done to make my brother so angry. My wound was beginning to burn now that whatever had taken over me back at the house was gone, and I was starting to feel frightened enough to cry, my eyes burning as I tried to keep them back.

For a while, I'd actually thought that maybe Airi's time in jail had opened their eyes to how awful they had been acting, and that they were going to change, maybe for good.

I could only imagine what my mother was going to think when she got back from her date with Sal. She'd told me to make sure Kato, Hiro, and Airi didn't get into too much trouble, and I'd failed. The thought made me cry even harder, though I'd known I couldn't do much to begin with.

My siblings were wild spirits. I didn't think anything could tame them. Maybe jail was what they deserved.

"What are you doing out here?"

My head jerked up involuntarily when I heard a voice, and I blinked through the red haze that was my blood, taking in Tsume's shocked expression.

"I – " I fumbled around with my words, unsure of what to say, how to explain my situation. If this were Kiba or Hige, I probably would've broken down the second I saw them. But I didn't know Tsume that well, not for lack of trying. I tried to get as much about the guy out of Hige and Kiba as I could, but for some reason, they were reluctant to talk about him. "They threw a party."

Tsume's golden eyes narrowed, and he glanced back in the direction of my house. I could still make out the lights from where we were.

I wiped at the blood still running down my face, bile forming in the back of my throat when I saw all the red staining my fingers. I'd always been strangely disgusted if not terrified of blood. Even as I thought about it my hands started to shake, and suddenly I couldn't hear the music anymore or feel the sting of my wound.

I looked over to where Tsume had once been standing, prepared to ask him to take me home, to Kiba, _anywhere_, just so I didn't have to feel like this anymore.

But Tsume wasn't there. A gray dog stood in his place, a growl rumbling through its body as it stared down the street, toward my home.

"Where did you come from?" I mumbled, tipping my head slightly.

The dog's head snapped around the stare at me, its golden eyes filled with surprise. It faded away into nothing quickly, into the blank stare of a normal dog, the ones I was used to.

"You're smaller than Bear." I could feel unconsciousness pulling at me. Just the fact that I was babbling about nothing was proof enough of that. The dog seemed especially bothered, its ears low as it took a step closer to me, a whine passing through its jaws.

I smiled sleepily at it, letting my gaze wander down to its chest. There was a faded scar there, pale fur growing where it had been cut. It was in the shape of an _X_, though I wasn't surprised to see it there.

"Kid, you're going to be okay."

I blinked next and the dog was gone, though Tsume was back. I made a small noise of surprise, glancing around the empty streets. "Where'd the dog go?"

"What dog?"

"The grey one." I said, my vision beginning to swim. "With the scar."

"There's no dog here, Toboe."

"There was."

I heard him sigh, and my eyes fluttered closed when I heard his footsteps coming closer. Now that Tsume was here, everything would be fine.

But why I felt that way, I didn't know.

* * *

><p>This only seemed to happen to him.<p>

He couldn't go anywhere without seeing something that reminded him of Toboe: the laughter of children, the sound of jingling bracelets, puppies. The list just went on and on.

Tsume had hoped for one night of peace, just one before he had to return to his apartment and listen to Kiba and Hige rant about how the boy they'd found was just the same as before, but of course Tsume was never that lucky.

Trying to escape the boy never worked, especially when his supposed incarnation had suddenly made an appearance on the streets, battered and bloody. Tsume hadn't known what to think, but as soon as the word "party" had escaped his lips, Tsume knew what had happened.

Hige liked to gripe about how awful Toboe's "siblings" were, that they treated him like garbage and were beating down what had once been a proud, young wolf. Tsume hadn't allowed himself to feel much sympathy, for before tonight he refused to believe that they'd actually found Toboe and was convinced Kiba and Hige had lost their minds.

But when he'd found the boy on the curb, he'd looked so broken, so tired that Tsume couldn't help but think back to when Toboe had killed that little girl's falcon, when he was explaining what had happened to his granny.

Tsume accepted the fact that it really was him even before Toboe started talking about the dog he'd seen. It had caught Tsume off guard when Toboe had asked him where the dog had gone, and his blood had practically run cold when Toboe described what Tsume looked like as a wolf to him.

Toboe had been able to see him as a wolf when he was in his human form, and that could only mean one thing.

Tsume glanced down at the unconscious teen in his arms, anger flashing through him as he got another look at the nasty gash on his head. He didn't know who had done this to Toboe, but he was going to find out, one way or another.

He walked down the hall towards the apartment, trying to work out what to tell Kiba. Even he didn't know everything that happened, and this whole thing was taking him back to that day a lifetime ago, when Toboe was shot.

Kiba opened the door before Tsume had a chance to knock, Hige close behind him. Hige's eyes widened in shock and terror, probably fearful that history was repeating itself and they were going to lose Toboe a second time, even though Tsume knew it wasn't that serious.

"I found him on the curb a few blocks down." Tsume explained as he stepped into the warmth of the apartment, Kiba slamming the door especially loud behind him. "There was a party going on at his house."

"That mom of his is probably the most irresponsible woman I've ever met." Hige seethed, and Tsume spotted a plate of food on the counter, practically untouched. Hige must've been really bothered if he was ignoring a meal so blatantly. "She lets those kids of hers walk all over him."

Kiba didn't say a word, just inspected Toboe's wound silently, his expression unreadable.

"I bet you Airi did this to him." Hige continued. "She's a loose cannon, that one. I knew it the moment Toboe said that she had just gotten out of jail. Tell me again why we didn't leave with him sooner? What exactly were we waiting for?"

"We were waiting for something like this to happen." Kiba said suddenly. "I hate to say it, but this is exactly what we needed to convince Toboe to leave and come with us. Tsume, put him on the couch. His wound is already starting to heal, so there's not much we could do for it now. Hige, get something to wipe the blood off."

Tsume followed Kiba towards the couch while Hige wandered off towards the bathroom, mumbling under his breath about juvenile delinquents. Tsume laid the sleeping teen on the couch gently, stepping back and crossing his arms over his chest, heaving a huge sigh. "Kiba, there's something you should know."

"Tell me after we get him cleaned up." Kiba looking up as Hige returned with a wet washrag, taking it from the light-haired teenager and running it over Toboe's forehead slowly.

"What are we going to do, Kiba?" Hige asked, sounding calmer than previously but still on edge. "We can't let him go back there after this."

"If he wants to go back, then we don't have a choice." Kiba replied. "Taking him against his will would backfire in the end, and if he's happy where he is, I wouldn't feel right ripping him away from it."

"If it means saving his life, I think he'd forgive us."

"You're being overdramatic." Tsume said dryly, reaching over to smack the back of Hige's head softly. "The worst thing they could do to him has probably already happened. Toboe's strong. He's survived fifteen years of it so far."

"He doesn't deserve this." Hige protested, beginning to sound angry all over again. "Out of all of us, why him? Why'd they do this to _him_?"

"Because he was strong enough to handle it." Kiba broke in, getting to his feet now that Toboe's face was cleaned of dried blood. "Even without his memories and his abilities as a wolf, he's still okay, more or less."

"You want to know what I think?" Tsume said, continuing without waiting for a reply. "I think this is the universe's way of telling Toboe that he was born to be a wolf. He was always especially close to humans, and in a way, I think he wanted to be one of them so all this hiding shit was over and done with. He was given the life he thought he wanted, and it sucks. And I think he's finally starting to figure that out, memories or not."

Silence greeted his words, and of course Hige was the one to break it. "Tsume," he sighed, "you are so depressing."

"What were you going to tell me, Tsume?" Kiba asked, walking into the small kitchen area and tossing the bloodied rag into the sink. "You said there was something I needed to know."

"Something's going on with Toboe." Tsume said, his eyes on the floor as he started to pace. "I can't tell if it's bad or good or maybe a little bit of both, but something's happening."

"Would you care to elaborate, or are you just going to pace and babble like a madman?" Hige asked, the old humor returning to his voice once more.

"He saw me as a wolf." Tsume said, watching as Kiba's eyes narrowed in thought. "And I wasn't in wolf form. I was human, and I was talking to him but I don't think he could hear me. Then he just looked confused and asked me 'where the dog went'. I asked him what he was talking about, and he described what I looked like as a wolf to me. I don't know if it just came to him because he was half conscious or if some part of himself is returning… but he didn't see us as wolves that first day, or any other time when we were actually trying to be human."

"See." Hige said, a huge grin slowly appearing on his face. "I told you. He's only been hanging out with Kiba and me for almost a week and he's already showing signs of improvement. Isn't it great, Boss?"

When Tsume turned his gaze to Kiba though, he looked anything but happy. His eyes were on Toboe, and for a change, Kiba was the one that looked worried.

"What's wrong now?" Tsume asked tersely.

"This doesn't make any sense to me." Kiba stated. "Not just the whole 'Toboe seeing you as a wolf' thing, but the memory loss in general. Maybe the three of us started out not knowing, but we remember along the way. And what about Blue? Where is she? I don't know what's going on, and I can't do anything to fix it."

"Does it matter why it happened as long as we get him back to us?" Hige demanded, and Tsume didn't miss the fact that he didn't mention Blue at all. "I don't know about you guys, but I don't really care why it happened. I'll be fine if we can fix it."

Tsume thought that Hige had completely given up hope of finding Blue ever again and was completely throwing himself into rehabilitating Toboe to get his mind off of it. Maybe Tsume would have been impressed with his progress if he actually believed he'd made any.

"I don't know if we should fix him." Kiba said slowly.

"What? Why?" Tsume and Hige demanded simultaneously.

"I don't know if remembering is what's best for Toboe." Kiba said cautiously, as if he couldn't believe he was voicing his opinion on this particular matter at all. "Put everything we went through together on top of everything he's been through in this life… well, we might just break him."

"You said so yourself, Kiba, Toboe's strong." Tsume retorted, unable to believe what he was hearing. Just a week before, Kiba had been saying that Toboe belonged with them. What could have possibly changed his mind? "Don't you think he'd want to remember why he heals so quickly, why he can hear things no one else can, or why he doesn't look like anyone else in his family?"

Kiba sighed, his eyes on Toboe. "He knows he's different, he just doesn't know _why_. What if he doesn't like what he hears? What if being a human truly is what he wants?"

"Then he can be human with us!" Hige said, exasperation apparent in his voice. "Honestly, you two are starting to give me a headache with all this skepticism. If you won't convince him to stay, then _I_ will. I'm only a year older than he is this time, he'll probably listen to me."

"If he does agree, then we can't tell him about what he is, what _we_ are." Kiba warned. "He needs to figure it out himself. If we spring everything on him, we'll either scare him away or damage him further."

They all fell silent as Toboe shifted on the couch, almost curling up in a fetal position, a frown on his face. Tsume thought the boy looked disturbed, uncomfortable and scared in the dream world, which for a kid his age was supposed to be a peaceful, welcoming place.

But Tsume sensed unease from the unconscious fifteen-year-old. Whatever his mind was conjuring up wasn't pleasant, and for a moment, he considered waking Toboe up to save him from whatever was plaguing his dreams.

"I don't care what we do or don't tell him." Tsume said softly, deciding to be as silent as possible so as not to wake the teen. "We just need to get him out of here as soon as possible. Paradise isn't going to wait forever, Kiba, and neither is Toboe."

* * *

><p><em>A.N. <em>The plot really begins next chapter! I've got a lot of stuff planned, so look out for more chapters since I'm so ready to get them out of my brain and onto a document. Thanks to all who reviewed!


	6. Two Sides of the Same Moon

_**Chapter 5: Two Sides of the Same Moon**_

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><p>When I woke up, I had a migraine.<p>

Not just any migraine, though. It was a full-blown, head pounding, _brain splitting_ migraine.

I lay completely still for a few moments, eyes screwed shut as I began to process just how painful it actually was. I didn't remember how I got it for a few seconds, but then everything hit me almost as quickly as the pain had.

Hiro had pushed me, shoving me against the brick fireplace at home. Everything was blurry after that, though I vaguely remembered climbing out my window, leaving Snow behind in the dark.

I couldn't recall anything after that.

Groaning, I tried to open my eyes, though all I could really see were blurry figures surrounded by white.

"Toboe, are you awake?" The voice startled me into a sitting position, though I cried out as soon as I did, pressing the heels of my palms against my eyes. "It's okay, dude."

I felt a hand on my back, but I didn't pull away. Only one person in the entire world called me that.

"What happened, Hige?" I groaned, still trying to block out the light from the room. It was obvious to me that I was in Kiba, Hige, and Tsume's apartment. How I'd gotten there, I wasn't sure, but at this point all I wanted was for Hige to turn all the lights off.

"You were practically passed out on the street, Toboe. Tsume found you and brought you here."

Surprise made me take my hands away from my eyes and force them to open. My vision was starting to improve, though I had to keep my eyes narrowed to bring the pain to a minimum.

Tsume had brought me here? I couldn't remember seeing the golden-eyed man or even remember the fact that I'd somehow made my way to a street. Common sense would've told me that I shouldn't leave the house when I'm bleeding heavily, but I couldn't have stayed at my house, not with all those people around.

I glanced to my left, trying to locate Hige. He was sitting in a chair beside the couch, one that had been over by the wall previously. He must've moved it closer to keep an eye on me. "Where's Tsume now?" I asked.

"He and Kiba went to check out the scene at your house." Hige said, giving me a sad smile. "Drunk teenagers tend to lower property values."

"Hiro didn't mean to push me." I blurted out, my hand flying to my head as I felt for the gash that had put me in this state. Maybe some part of me was trying to hide it from Hige, to make him believe that it really wasn't as bad as it seemed, but I knew that Hige wouldn't fall for any of it. "H – He was just drinking too much, and – "

The look Hige gave me was one of sorrow and anger, and I shut up instantly. "You don't have to protect him, Toboe." He said firmly with a certain edge to his voice that I'd never heard before. "You don't have to protect any of your siblings."

I didn't want to, I really didn't, but I couldn't just turn my back on my family. I wouldn't tell Hige, but I was scared to go back home. I didn't want to see the disappointment on my mother's face, and I didn't want to have to lie about what had happened to me so I wouldn't get Hiro in trouble. If I did that, who knew what else he would do to me?

I wasn't protecting him because I wanted to. I was protecting him because I had to.

"Listen, Toboe," Hige said suddenly, his voice hesitant and somewhat small, "there's something we need to talk about."

I didn't really like the sound of that. "What?"

"We need to wait until Tsume and Kiba get back. Kiba can probably explain better than I can."

"Then why'd you bring it up in the first place? Now I'm going to wonder until they get back!"

Hige smirked. "Sounds like you're feeling better."

"Better is kind of subjective here." I mumbled, falling onto my back again heavily. "I have the headache of the century."

"That sucks, pal. I'd give you something for the pain, but Kiba has this thing about modern medicines. I think you'll feel better in a few minutes."

"More like hours." I snorted, wincing when my fingertips brushed over the gash on my head that was already starting to scab over.

Hige watched me for a few moments, his expression unreadable, and then he said, "Toboe, what happened?"

I didn't need to ask what he was talking about. I didn't mind telling Hige all that had happened, at least what I could remember, but I didn't know what he was going to do once I told him.

"Well, my mom went out for her date with Sal, and I went to sleep. When I woke up, the house smelled like smoke and alcohol, and the music was so loud I could barely hear my own thoughts. I went downstairs to look for Snow because she wasn't in my room, and I found her with my brothers." Anger overcame me again as I thought back to when I'd walked in on Hiro tossing Snow into the air like she was a toy. "They were throwing her around, so I told Hiro to stop and he pushed me into the fireplace."

"How'd you get out on the street then?" Hige asked.

"I climbed out my window." I said. "I don't remember anything after that."

Hige looked surprised, if not a little disappointed. "Oh. Well, I'm just glad you're okay."

"How long was I out?" I asked after a moment of silence.

Hige shrugged. "Not long. Half an hour, forty-five minutes tops."

"It feels like I've been asleep for days."

"I bet." Hige said, just as the door opened.

Kiba and Tsume came through the door looking wary, Kiba saying something to his companion quietly. When he saw that I was awake however, Kiba fell silent. "How do you feel?" That was his first question.

"Okay, I guess." I replied. "I have a really bad headache, though."

"You might have a concussion." Kiba said as he and Tsume walked further into the room. "I'd take it easy for a while if I were you."

I nodded, glancing up at Tsume. He was observing me silently, a curious glint to his eyes. The staring made me uncomfortable, though I didn't give any indication that it did. "Thanks for bringing me here, Tsume." I said slowly. "I'd probably be passed out on the street if it weren't for you."

He seemed surprised by my words, but nodded slightly anyway. "Don't mention it."

"Hige said there was something you needed to talk to me about." I said soon after, curious as to what my friend had been talking about.

Hige looked sheepish as Tsume and Kiba turned to regard at him, though Tsume just seemed annoyed.

"There is, actually." Kiba said, crouching down on the ground beside the couch. I knew that he was trying to get down to my level, something my mother did whenever she wanted me to understand something. From that gesture alone I knew that whatever Kiba was about to say was of major importance. "We're leaving, Toboe."

I stared at him, partly in surprise that he felt the need to tell me about their plans, but I guessed I would've done the same had I been the one that was moving. "I hope you don't mind my asking, but… how come?"

Kiba shrugged, glancing over at Tsume. "We just decided it's time to move on. This city is changing, and we want out."

The statement confused me. The city was changing? I hadn't noticed any difference in my home. It seemed to be the same as it had been back when I was a toddler.

But then again, I didn't really get anything that Kiba said and did. Hige was more straightforward, while Kiba was quiet about his opinions, mostly speaking in what I could only describe as an elusive manner.

I felt saddened by the news. I was going to go back to staying in my house all summer with Snow. But I couldn't ask for them to stay. I probably would've gotten out if I could, too. "Well, I guess this is good – "

"That's not it." Kiba interrupted me, almost looking anxious for a second, though I knew I was just imagining it. Kiba was never anxious. "We are leaving, but it's not goodbye again. We want you to come with us."

I'd heard a lot of shocking things in my lifetime, one of the worst being when I was told Airi was in jail, but this one definitely took the cake.

Had I heard Kiba right? He wanted me to leave the city with them? To run away? I glanced up at Hige, who looked about ready to burst with anticipation, his left leg jiggling as he sat in his chair. Tsume looked as aloof as ever, though I could tell he wanted to hear my response, too.

Had either of them discussed this with him? Did Tsume really want me to come with them? And for some reason, I couldn't get over the fact that Kiba had said it wasn't goodbye _again_. "Uh – "

"Just listen, Toboe." Hige cut in, spreading his arms out to me in an almost pleading gesture. "Things for you are really bad here. What happened earlier was enough proof of that. What have you got to lose by coming with us?"

I had everything to lose! My family, Snow, Mrs. Pennon, the life that I'd worked so hard to keep somewhat balanced and steady. But that life also included being my siblings' personal slave and my mother's only responsible child.

Most people might think that being the good one in the family was fun, that it entitled you to certain things, but that was far from the truth. I was always expected to do the right thing, and if I made one small mishap, then I would get in twice as much trouble than I would by, say, crashing a car.

I couldn't help but feel that Hige was right. What did I really have to lose?

"I can't just leave." I said reluctantly. I didn't know if they wanted me to make a decision now. It would normally take me hours, if not days, to make a choice like this. "I'm not even close to being eighteen yet. If they catch me, they'll just send me right back here."

"They're not going to catch you." Kiba said, and for a moment, he sounded just like Hige. Devious. "We'll make sure of it."

Out of excuses, I didn't know what else to say. I was torn between staying in my crappy home life with people I knew well and leaving with three guys I'd only known for a week into the unknown of the world.

Saying I was scared was an understatement, but I was mostly terrified of being left here while the only friends I'd ever had slipped from my grasp.

"I know you're scared, Toboe, but this could very well be your only chance." Kiba said softly. "If you really don't want to leave, then we're not going to force you. Just know that the offer's out in the open."

That sounded like a conversation ender to me, but no one moved after Kiba said his piece. With a jolt of anxiety, I realized they were waiting for me to answer.

I sat there for a moment, head throbbing as I struggled to come up with an acceptable answer. I was afraid that if I refused to go with them now, I would regret it for the rest of my life. But what if I didn't know them as well as I thought I did? What if they did something terrible to me somewhere down the road?

I sighed. There was really only one answer I could give them. "Okay. I'll go with you."

Tsume and Hige both looked surprised, but Kiba didn't react aside from a slight relaxation of his posture. "Are you sure, Toboe?" Kiba asked. "This decision is going to change your life dramatically. You know that, right?"

I nodded, biting the inside of my cheek so hard I tasted blood. "I'm know. And I'm sure."

"You can't bring that cat of yours." Tsume said, speaking for the first time. "She'll attract too much attention, and that's something we don't need. Even Kiba's not bringing his stupid mutt."

Hige shot him a furious glare, but I only nodded once. "I wouldn't do that to her." I said softly, bowing my head slightly so they couldn't see the tears gathering in my eyes. I might have been willing to subject myself to the stresses of being on the run, but I'd never do that to Snow. She was too important to me, and I knew my mom would take care of her in my absence. "She has a chance here. I don't."

"You're not gonna regret this, Toboe." Hige said, a huge smile on his face that seemed odd compared to the atmosphere of the room. "This is going to be more fun than you think."

"You should go back to your house to get some things if you want before we leave. Tsume and I were just there, and the police haven't showed up yet, though they will soon. Hige will go with you." Kiba said briskly, getting to his feet and turning to Tsume. "Tsume, go get the car."

As Tsume turned to walk out the door, I got to my feet slowly, unable to believe what was happening. It was also then that I realized that my migraine was gone.

Going back to my house was probably one of the scariest things I'd ever had to do. It helped that Hige was there, babbling on about how awesome life was going to be once we were out of the city, but not even his cheerful attitude could keep me from worrying about what I would find at home.

My bedroom door was still locked, so there was no risk of anyone coming in and stopping me from leaving, not that I believed anyone would try. But there was one thing in particular that I was afraid to face.

Leaving Snow behind had seemed like a good idea back at the apartment, but as I got closer and closer to my block, doubt was starting to cloud my mind. I knew that if, _when_, I saw her, it was going to be extremely difficult to leave. I'd raised her since she was a tiny kitten, and the bond we shared was something I couldn't describe.

She wasn't going to understand why I had to go, why I was leaving for the second time in all the months we'd spent together. I just kept telling myself that she was only an animal. It wouldn't be long until she forgot about me altogether.

"You ready for this?" Hige asked when we turned on my street. We'd been able to hear the music from a few blocks down, but now we could see the lights as well. My room was the only one that was dark.

I took a deep breath and nodded, picking up my pace. The front yard was vacant this time, and I moved across the lawn silently, Hige following close behind me. I scaled the tree ahead of Hige, but when I jumped onto the roof, Hige was still on the ground.

"What, can't climb trees?" I called down good-naturedly.

He didn't say anything for a moment, but then he looked away. "I'm afraid of heights."

I wasn't expecting that answer, and I was kind of surprised. Hige didn't seem like the type of person to have fears like that. If he could confidently say he would fight my brothers and win, then I never would've guessed he was afraid of something like heights.

"I'll be right back." I said, turning to my window.

Snow wasn't by the window when I made a move to open it, and until I had put both feet on the ground, she didn't make an appearance. But as soon as I did, she came barreling out of my closet, squeezing herself in-between my legs and almost tripping me in the process.

"Hey, girl." I whispered, bending over so she could see for herself that I was okay.

She placed both of her front paws on my right shoulder and stretched up so she could sniff curiously at my head, rasping her tongue over the healing cut. I laughed softly and hugged her close, knowing that these were probably the last moments I would ever spend with Snow.

I turned when there was a noise from behind me, and I watched as Hige climbed through the window, grumbling quietly to himself. "I thought you were afraid of heights?" I questioned, smoothing down Snow's fur as she stared over at Hige, her tail lashing.

He looked up, and even though his face was pale, he still had a smile on his face. "I couldn't just stay down there and let you pack alone, could I?"

I rolled my eyes but couldn't hide my grin.

I didn't end up bringing much, just packing whatever I could fit inside my backpack from school. Snow sat beside Hige as the two watched me move about my room, though I knew she was still on edge and hissed every time Hige tried to pet her.

When I was crouched by my bed, reaching underneath to locate the box I used to keep important things away from my siblings, there was a knock at my door. Hige made a move to stand up, but I gestured for him to stay down, pressing a finger to my lips and shaking my head.

"Toboe?" I stiffened, eyes locked on my door in disbelief. That was Hiro's voice. "Toboe, are you awake?"

I glanced over at Snow, hoping that she wouldn't growl or do anything that might make Hiro think I was awake. To my surprise, she hardly flinched at all. "Listen, I'm sorry about earlier. You know I didn't mean it." My brother's voice continued to infiltrate my room, and for a second I thought my injury was making me hallucinate. But when Hige grabbed the box from hands and put it in my backpack, I knew it was reality. "So, could you please not tell Mom?"

I could hear the slur in Hiro's voice and the way he breathed heavily, like the trip up the stairs had taken all of his energy. He wasn't sorry. He was just drunk and afraid of getting into trouble.

Hige's jaw was tense when I looked up at him, his eyes narrowed as he stared at the door. Hiro stayed outside for a few moments before leaving, his footsteps heavy as he descended the stairs.

"He's a champ." Hige grumbled, moving back towards the window with my backpack slung over his shoulder. "I'll be outside. Take all the time you need."

I nodded, picking up Snow gently as Hige disappeared. Snow rubbed her head under my chin as I held her. She purred gently, and I knew she was trying to comfort me to some degree. Snow really only purred if I was petting her.

"Be good for Mom." I said, my breath catching in my throat as reality started to hit me full force. I didn't pay much attention to it. I couldn't afford to lose my cool until after I was gone. "And don't let Hiro, Kato, and Airi push you around. I'm not going to be around to keep them away anymore."

Snow meowed loudly, jumping out of my arms and onto the ground, rolling onto her side. I sighed, reaching over to rub between her ears, watching as her eyes closed in contentment. I was really going to miss her.

Snow didn't move when I retracted my hand, but her ears pricked when I unlocked my door. I just hoped my mother would be the one to come in here later and find Snow alone, not my siblings or some stranger I didn't know. Snow followed me with her eyes as I climbed onto my bed and started to climb out the window, and I didn't look back until I had shut the window, separating us for the last time.

She was still lying on the floor, her head tipped slightly as she observed me. _She thinks I'm going to come back. _I realized with a jolt.

"Toboe, I can hear the sirens!" Hige's voice called up to me. "We've gotta get going."

"Stay." I whispered, though I knew Snow wasn't going anywhere.

I turned and hurriedly climbed down the tree, jumping down next to Hige. He was right. I could hear the sirens of the police as well. Mrs. Pennon's kitchen light was on, and I knew she'd finally called the police. Some part of me knew she'd mostly done it for my benefit.

Hige took off down the block, and I ran after him, already able to see the flashing red and blue lights illuminated on the trees as we raced down the street. Hige laughed once we were out of my neighborhood, a breathless pant that made me feel even worse. "What a rush. I've never had to run from the police before."

"We didn't even do anything."

"Not yet, anyway." Hige said. "The cops are going to be looking for you, Toboe. They might think – "

He trailed off, and I nodded. They'd probably think I'd been kidnapped or murdered. I was too much of a goody-goody for anyone to think that I'd left willingly. Mom wouldn't know what to think when she saw that Snow was still at the house. Anyone would've assumed I would take Snow with me if I ran, probably even Snow herself.

"It'll be okay, Toboe." Hige stated. "You'll see."

I nodded, though I didn't know if I could believe him yet. Hige's words were all I had to hold on to at this point.

We fell silent as we walked back to the apartment, and after a while the jingling of my key in my pocket reminded me too much of Snow that I had to take it out and hold it firmly in my hand.

Kiba was waiting outside when we got there, leaning against a black car that I'd never seen before. I hadn't even known that they had a car. "How did it go?" He asked when we walked up.

"Everything went smoothly, actually." Hige replied when I didn't say anything. "The police showed up right as we were leaving."

"Did they see you?"

"No, I don't think so."

Kiba nodded, his focus shifting to me. "Are you okay?"

"No." I didn't see any point in lying about it.

"That's okay. Everything seems overwhelming right now, doesn't it?"

I nodded, uncurling my hand and staring down at the key. Snow's picture was like a slap in the face, a reminder of a time when things weren't like this and I had the time and spirit to play in the leaves with my pet.

She was hardly an adult when I took the picture, barely out of the kitten faze. I wouldn't get to see how she grew after this.

"Where's Tsume?" Hige asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"He's inside paying the last of our rent." Kiba said. "The lease is under his name or otherwise I would've done it. He's not much of a people person."

Hige didn't laugh, and neither did I.

"Let's get in the car so we can leave as soon as Tsume's done." Kiba continued, moving to open to passenger side door to get inside. "We've got a lot of ground to cover tonight."

I wanted to ask where we were going, but all I managed to do was force my legs to work long enough to get me in the backseat of the car. Hige slid in next to me, pulling his feet up to rest them on the back of Kiba's seat.

"Hige, Tsume's going to be furious if he sees you doing that in his car." Kiba warned.

"Like I care." Hige snorted. "We all chipped in the buy this baby, it's not just his."

The car did smell new, and the black leather was cold enough to seep through my clothes and cool my heated skin. I wondered how Hige had gotten the money to help pay for a car as nice as this one. He'd told me multiple times before that he didn't work.

The driver's side door opened as Tsume got in the car, grumbling under his breath. "Did she try to convince you to stay?" Hige asked, fake sympathy apparent in his voice.

"I'm starting to see why that woman isn't married." Tsume growled. "And get your feet off the seat."

"I am a teenager, and I reserve the right to misbehave and disobey if I wish." Hige declared, glancing over at me. "Right, Toboe?"

I shrugged, hugging my backpack close as Tsume pulled away from the curb, driving down the vacant street. I turned my head to stare out the window, my eyes wandering to the full moon above us.

My thoughts wandered to my mother, about what she would think when she came home later. Would the police still be there? Would my siblings be in jail? Again in Airi's case? What if they didn't even notice if I was gone until morning?

_It's better for us, I suppose. The further away we get, the better a chance they have of not finding us. _I didn't regret leaving, at least not entirely, so why did I feel so guilty?

* * *

><p><em>I ran. I ran so hard, so tirelessly that my muscles were practically screaming in pain, my lungs burning as I sucked in breath after breath. But the air was too warm. It was hurting my lungs even more. Breathing was saving my life, yet killing me at the same time.<em>

_I could feel something in my mouth, and I let my tongue brush against whatever it was, realizing it was the stem of a flower. It smelled wonderful, and there was a good kind of warmth seeping into my taste buds and soothing my aching lungs and muscles._

_I wouldn't let go of the flower. I couldn't. I had to get it to a safe place where it could grow and flourish, so others could taste and feel its magnificence and experience what I did._

_Suddenly the grass was gone, replaced by hard, cracked ground that stung my feet. The brightness of the sun was gone, leaving dark, black night in its wake, almost suffocating me. There were no plants, no other signs of life that I could see, but I didn't stop running._

_I could hear movement behind me, the pounding of feet on the barren ground below. I didn't feel afraid, though. At least I wasn't alone in this strange place._

_I let out a yelp as I tripped, dropping the flower in the process. I landed heavily on the ground, watching helplessly as the beautiful plant was sucked underneath a pool of crystal clear water._

_I scrambled over to the edge of the water, desperate to save the flower even though I knew there was nothing I could do. But aside from the sight of the flower sinking to the darkness below, something caught my eye._

_I looked up at the sky, at the bright moon that was shining above me. Slowly, it began to turn red. Blood red. A thick fog began to build around me, a suffocating, terrifying type of fog that could only add to the darkness. There was something ominous about it, something eerie._

_Something touched me from behind and I cried out, spinning around to face whatever it was. I stared in surprise._

_It was Airi._

_She was wearing a white dress stained with blood, her black hair blowing in the wind, covering most of her face and one of her eyes. "What did you do?" She whispered, her one blue eye wild with an emotion I couldn't place. "Toboe, what did you do?"_

"_I didn't mean to!" I stuttered, glancing back at the pool frantically. "It fell, and I couldn't get to it! I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen."_

"_Don't you know what this means?"_

"_No!"_

"_It's poisoned. Everything is dead, ruined."_

"_Did I do this?" I cried, my lungs tightening with a different type of pain this time. "Is this my fault?"_

"_Look at the water." Airi said, her voice almost lost in the wind. "Look at the water, and you'll find your answer."_

_I did look at the water, but the pool was shrinking, rapidly turning into nothing but a small puddle. "I don't understand – "_

"_Look closer!" Airi screamed, the wind blowing even harder than before._

_When I glanced back at her, she was gone, a few drops of blood staining the ground where she'd once been. I didn't have time to dwell on her strange behavior though, for the puddle was shrinking fast, and the landscape was turning burning from the light of the red moon._

_I peered into the water, my jaw going slack when I realized what Airi had been trying to tell me, though I was more confused than ever._

_My reflection wasn't that of a teenage boy. It was of a brown-furred, amber-eyed dog._

* * *

><p>I awoke with a jolt, my eyes flying open and my head jerking away from the cool window it had been resting against. I didn't know where I was for a few moments, but when Hige snored beside me I remembered everything.<p>

I was running away.

I relaxed, sliding down in my seat a bit. Hige was asleep, as was Kiba, though I knew Tsume was still awake since he was the one driving. I craned my neck to look at the time. 10:23. We'd been driving for over two hours.

I glanced out the window, taking in the unfamiliar landscape. I'd never been out of the city before, and all I saw on either side of the road was dirt and cracked ground, just like in my dream.

That same dream again, though this time, there were irregularities. I hadn't been carrying a flower before, nor had the moon turned red, and my sister most definitely had never made an appearance. As I thought back, I realized that I'd seen that flower before.

I'd been walking down the street with Snow a few months back when I'd caught a scent I'd never smelled before. Snow smelled it, too, but she hadn't gone into the alley with me when I went to check it out. I'd found that flower from my dream sitting beside a dumpster, still wet from a previous rain. It had been by far one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen, so I picked it up and took it home.

Snow had refused to be anywhere near the flower for a long time, so eventually I'd gotten rid of it. Or at least I thought I had. Now that I thought about it, I couldn't remember what I had done with that flower.

It seemed strange to me that something like that had made it into my dream. I'd treated it with so much importance and care. Devastation had literally taken hold of me when I dropped it. It wasn't so much the flower itself that disturbed me, but what had happened once I lost it.

The moon had turned red, my sister appearing soaked in blood. Her words still frightened me, and a shiver went down my spine as I thought about it.

_"It's poisoned. Everything is dead, ruined." _What was ruined? I had no clue what she had meant, what my _dream_ had meant.

I had the urge to confide in someone, but with Hige and Kiba asleep, I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't want to bother Tsume, and I didn't want him to think I was just some weird teenager who had dreams about flowers and blood-red moons.

So, I stayed silent, and after a while I started to doze off once more. But there was something else I couldn't wrap my mind around. Airi had said that whatever I saw in the water would answer my questions.

If that dog had any answers as to why I'd seen what I had, it didn't say a word.

* * *

><p><em>A.N. <em>So… was it too weird? I hope not. That dream of Toboe's was carefully thought out, and everything that happened either has, had, or will have some importance. Thanks to all who favorited and/or reviewed this story.


	7. Guilt Is But A Word

_**Chapter 6: Guilt Is But A Word**_

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><p>Airi woke up at the police station, fuzzy-eyed and extremely hung over from the previous night. She couldn't remember much, could only recall Toboe coming to look for his cat and making out with Jiro in the kitchen at her house.<p>

In hindsight, Airi felt disgusted that she'd even let that filthy scumbag enter her home, let alone kiss her. But that Sam Adams shit was strong. Airi was surprised she'd woken up fully clothed.

She shifted uncomfortably, pulling up her dress a little since it was starting to show a bit too much in the bust before looking around curiously. She would've been alone had it not been for Kato, who was sitting in a chair across from her, leaning forward on his elbows with his head buried in his hands.

Airi watched her brother for some time, trying to recall what had happened and why she was in custody once again. "What's goin' on?" She asked, her voice gruff and soft.

Kato looked up, his eyes bloodshot and wary although his face was dry. Under normal circumstances, Airi would've found a way to tease her brother for this, but there was something in his expression that kept her silent.

"We got caught, you moron." He said, though there was no strength in his voice. "Mrs. Pennon called the police on us last night."

Airi scoffed, rolling her neck to the side to give it a nice crack. "That dumb bitch. Didn't she ever have parties when she was our age, like, a century ago?"

"We fucked up, Airi."

"What are you talking about?"

Kato sighed, glancing over at the corner of the room where Airi could see a black security camera. "Do you remember anything from last night?"

"If I did then I wouldn't be asking you, now would I?" She replied sarcastically, rolling her shoulders a few times. Sleeping in the station never ceased to make her uncomfortable.

"I don't remember much either, Airi, but at least I have the decency to admit that we did something wrong." Kato said, and once again, his voice held absolutely nothing. Her sarcastic comebacks were normally enough to get under his skin, but right now, Kato wasn't reacting at all.

"We threw a party. So what?" Airi snorted. "This isn't the first time we've done this, Kato. Don't pretend you didn't have fun. I remember you getting up close and personal with Olivia last night."

"It's not the party, Airi." Kato snapped, suddenly frustrated. "We're here because – "

He broke off as the door burst open, and Hiro came into the room. He looked absolutely terrible, Airi noted, with messy hair and eyes almost as red as Kato's. Airi guessed they were all a little messed up after last night.

Kato got to his feet, crossing the room to stand in front of their brother. "What happened?"

"He wants to talk to Airi." Hiro said sullenly, moving past his twin to sit heavily in a chair. "I told him everything, or at least all that I can remember."

"What makes him think she'll know any more than you do? She's completely trashed."

"I'm right here, asshole." Airi quipped, getting to her feet slowly, trying to fight the nauseous feeling in the pit of her stomach. "Why do they want to talk to me? What's going on?"

Kato didn't say anything, just continued to glare angrily at Hiro, fists clenched tightly at his sides. Airi didn't like the scene at all. Her brothers had a system – Kato was the rough and tough one while Hiro was more levelheaded and sensible.

Maybe she'd gotten them wrong. Maybe the one looking angry was Hiro, and the one sitting down was Kato. But Airi knew that wasn't the case. Kato had a scar above his left eye from a brawl he'd gotten into a few years back. It was impossible to confuse the two now.

Ignoring her brothers' strange behavior, Airi exited the room. She walked confidently despite her unease. Unfortunately she knew this place like the back of her hand, and she didn't need any help in finding her way around this place. She entered the room where the officers conducted interrogations, sitting down when she noticed that there was someone already waiting for her.

"Airi." Officer Katoba said formally.

"Officer K." She replied warily.

She knew this cop well. He was a middle-aged man with slightly grayed, dirty-blonde hair and a well-trimmed mustache, and he was usually the cop on duty when Airi got into trouble.

But Airi knew that he was good at what he did. If this were really just an interrogation about the party, wouldn't they send in someone else? Had something else happened that she didn't know about? Kato and Hiro's odd behavior suddenly seemed more logical. They knew something she didn't.

"What's going on?" She demanded.

Officer Katoba folded his hands together across the cool metal of the table in-between them, staring at her with piercing, light-blue eyes. "Do you know why you're here?"

"You know, you're the second person to ask me that today, and I'm going to give you the same answer I gave Kato." Airi said. "If I knew, I wouldn't be asking you, now would I?"

Officer Katoba normally had a sense of humor when it came to Airi's comments, but he didn't even blink when she spoke. "Airi, are you and your brothers ever violent toward your younger brother, Toboe?"

Airi blinked, staring at the officer before her as if he were a ghost. Toboe. Come to think of it, where was he? If Kato and Hiro were present, shouldn't Toboe have been, too? But then again, Toboe was the angel of the family. No one ever blamed him for anything. Why would he be sent to a place like this?

"Define violent."

"Airi, this is serious."

"I am being serious. We're not violent physically, or at least I can say that for myself, but we pick on him sometimes. He's the runt, that's how this whole thing works."

"What do you mean when you say that _you're_ not violent with him?" Officer Katoba pried. "Are your brothers?"

"Not that I know of. Like I said, we just pick on the kid." Airi replied testily. "What does this have to do with anything?"

"Airi, your brother is missing."

Airi really didn't know what to say to that. Toboe was missing? "But he was at the house last night."

"How would you know?" The officer challenged. "You were completely drunk when we brought you in last night. You passed out right in the foyer. You couldn't even tell us how old you were."

"Am I going to be arrested for underage drinking?"

The blue-eyed man stared at her, and Airi looked away, her head pounding. She knew she was getting off the matter at hand. He'd just told her that her brother was missing. She knew he expected her to be upset or show at least a little bit of emotion, but that wasn't something she could do right now, not when she was with someone.

"He's not missing." Airi snapped suddenly. "He always goes on walks with that cat of his. Check the city or something. He'll show up."

Officer Katoba shook his head. "It's not that simple. Your mother is over at your house with a few of the officers right now. When we got to your house last night after we were called, we sent your guests home, arrested a few, and were going to leave you with your mom. But when she went to check on your younger brother, he was gone. His cat was alone in the room. We brought the three of you down here for questioning."

Airi's eyes narrowed, realizing just what the man was saying. "What, you think we had something to do with it?"

"Your brother Hiro confessed to pushing Toboe last night. He was highly intoxicated when we picked you three up, and the guilt pushed him into speaking up. Kato doesn't remember much, and apparently neither do you."

"So, what, you think Hiro killed Toboe, and Kato and I hid the body or something?" Airi demanded, slamming her hands down on the metal table.

"Airi, that's not – "

"Do you really think we'd turn on our own brother like that? We may be hard on him, but we – we wouldn't _kill _him!"

"I know you wouldn't – "

"No, I don't think you do know, 'cause if you _did_ you wouldn't even be considering the possibility." Airi retorted, getting to her feet hastily, her chair scraping back against the floor. This was not happening. Her little brother might have been annoying at times, but she never would've done anything like this. Hiro and Kato wouldn't either. But she couldn't remember a thing. Whatever had happened to Toboe was a mystery to her. "I'd kill anyone who would do that to Toboe."

Officer Katoba nodded, jotting something down in a notepad before he spoke again. "Go be with your brothers, Airi. Your mother is on her way. We'll know more when they return."

Airi turned and exited the room, the pounding in her head beginning to cease as reality and sobriety started to settle in. Toboe was missing. Maybe these morons were just being exactly that, and she was right. Toboe was probably just on a walk. But that didn't explain why the cat was left alone in his room. Toboe took that thing wherever he went.

Hiro and Kato were sitting on opposite sides of the room when Airi returned, and Airi felt a flash of anger as she stared at Hiro. If only to make a point, she sat down next to Kato.

"So, you're pissed at me too?" Hiro sighed.

"This could be your fault!" Airi hissed. "Why the hell would you push Toboe? Did you hurt him?"

Hiro looked distressed, his eyes wide. Airi could see his pulse pounding rapidly by his temple. "He fell into the fireplace, I think. I – I don't remember why I did it. I just remember feeling guilty about doing it."

"Well, at least you have a conscience." Kato snorted, running a hand through his dark hair, making it stand up in the front. "You shouldn't have said anything at all. You do know that you have the right to remain silent, don't you?"

"Why would I stay silent when our brother is missing, Kato?" Hiro retorted with a glare.

"Let's just not talk about it anymore." Airi suggested loudly, her temperature boiling as she listened to the two bicker. This was not how she wanted to start off her day. "They've probably found him already."

The three lapsed into silence once more, listening to the sounds of police sirens, telephones ringing, and people talking. Airi was used to it all, but she knew her brothers were uncomfortable. They weren't regulars here like she was. But Airi knew that if anything had happened to Toboe, Hiro was going to become almost as familiar with this place as she was.

"Guys, what happens if Toboe's really gone?" Hiro asked suddenly. "I mean, he was fine after I pushed him, but – "

He trailed off, and Airi wasn't sure what to say. What happened if Toboe wasn't found? She refused to believe her little brother was missing. Things like that didn't happen in their city. Kids partied and wrecked cars, but none of them ran away, and they certainly weren't abducted.

Airi would never admit it, but her stomach churned at the thought, and not just from her nausea. Imagining Toboe alone with some stranger didn't settle well with her. He wasn't like her or their brothers. He couldn't defend himself for shit. Airi had somewhat taken it upon herself to make sure no one screwed over her youngest brother since he couldn't do it himself, but apparently she'd done a terrible job.

Airi looked up as the door opened once more, and Officer Katoba came into the room, followed by their mother. She was teary-eyed, still in the dress she'd worn on her date with Sal. In her arms was Toboe's cat.

Snow looked apprehensive, her eyes darting around the room. The sight of her was odd to Airi, for she'd never seen the cat away from her brother in the year or so that they'd had her.

Their mother glanced at all three of her kids, suddenly looking angry before reverting back to her state of grief. Seeming to notice the division between her three remaining kids, she sat down next to Hiro. Snow's eyes shifted to Hiro, and she bared her teeth, a small hiss escaping her.

Airi shared a glance with Kato.

"Well, my men came back with a full report on the situation." Officer Katoba stated.

Airi's mother sniffed in her seat, dabbing at her eyes with a balled up tissue. "What did they find?" Kato asked.

"There was blood on the mantle of your fireplace." Officer Katoba replied, glancing over at Hiro. "They think it's Toboe's, but we're sending it in for testing. There wasn't a substantial amount though, so the injury wasn't fatal."

"Thank God." Hiro mumbled under his breath.

"Ms. Asher, do you think that there's any possibility that Toboe ran away?" Officer Katoba asked their mother.

She shook her head, holding Snow close to her chest. The feline didn't protest, but Airi could see how sullen she looked. Toboe's absence wasn't lost to his pet. "Toboe wouldn't do that. H – He would've taken Snow with him if he had."

"What makes you say that?"

"They were inseparable." Airi startled herself by speaking. "He didn't go anywhere without her."

Officer Katoba nodded, pacing the room with a grim expression on his face. "We have to consider the possibility that someone at the party last night got a bit too drunk and did something to Toboe."

"Why did you three even have a party?" Their mother wailed. "I told you to watch over your brother, and now – now – "

She broke off, her sobs stealing the words right out of her mouth. Hiro looked awkward beside their distraught mother, unwilling to make a move to comfort her for fear of the growling cat in her arms.

"We'll have to organize this quickly." Officer Katoba said. "Missing children are found dead after the first twenty-four hours more often than not."

"Nice." Kato said flatly as their mother started to cry harder at the words.

Officer Katoba swallowed, but otherwise didn't look uncomfortable under Airi's brother's accusing glare. "We've already assigned a man to head this case. He's the best at locating runaways and kidnapped kids. He should be here – "

The door thundered open again, and Airi flinched when a man wearing a trench coat entered the room. There was something about him that unsettled her, the way his eyes stared at them all in an accusatory manner. He took of his hat, revealing brown hair that was starting to turn gray a bit, although he only looked to be at least forty.

A dog trailed in behind him, a black Labrador from what Airi could gather. Snow hissed at the sight of it, though she stayed calm considering that Airi's mother was still clutching onto her. The dog turned its brown eyes to Snow before ignoring her completely, sitting obediently at the man's feet.

"I'm sorry for these horrible turn of events," the man said gruffly, "but we must get moving as soon as possible. Ms. Asher, I need you to come with me so you can debrief me on your son's habits and behavior. Every detail matters in this situation."

"Like I said," Officer Katoba said, "he's the best. He and his partner Sasha have been tracking missing children for over ten years."

The dog's ears perked at the sound of her name, but she otherwise didn't move. "I really appreciate your help." Airi's mother got to her feet slowly, still cradling Snow in one arm, and stuck her hand out to the man gingerly. "What was your name again?"

Airi straightened the bottom of her dress, averting her eyes to the ground as the man shifted his gaze to her. There was something weird about this guy. She wasn't sure what it was, but it was still unsettling nonetheless.

"Yaiden, Ma'am. Quent Yaiden. I'm going to do everything it takes to get your son back to you, I promise."

Airi finally looked up. "Don't make promises you can't keep."

Her mother turned to glare at her, her cheeks and eyes still red. "I'll deal with you when we get home, Airi."

Airi huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. The Quent guy looked slightly amused, staring down at Airi with an unreadable expression in his eyes. "I think you and I will get along just fine, little lady."

* * *

><p><em>A.N. <em>So many aspects were introduced in this chapter that it's unreal. I wonder how many people will pick up on them and realize what they're saying ;) Thanks to all who reviewed! You guys are the BEST!


	8. A Twist of Fate

_**Chapter 7: A Twist of Fate**_

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><p>One time when I was little, I stole a candy bar from a convenient store.<p>

I was six at the time, probably a bit too young to be stealing, but I'd done it anyway. My mother wouldn't let me have it, telling me that I didn't need any added sugar in my system, but now I know it was because she couldn't exactly afford to be buying her kids treats left and right.

But I hadn't known that then, so when my mother turned her back, I swiped it.

Airi had coerced me into it – she had wanted it just as much as I did – and when Mom went to pay for whatever she had bought, Airi dragged me out of the store by the sleeve of my shirt, somehow sensing that if I stayed any longer, I would cave and either confess or put it back.

Mother had returned home angry, only because we had left her side and ran home without telling her where we were going, but I remember being terrified when I saw her walk through the door with anger in her eyes.

The chocolate bar hadn't even been that special, and when we returned home my stomach was so upset with guilt that I couldn't even look at it. Kato ended up stealing it from Airi and eating it himself, thus causing a brawl between him and my sister that inevitably ended in Airi telling on me.

At six years old, I got a thorough spanking and was grounded for a week because of that candy bar and my heartless sister, but I knew that I got what I deserved. Even with the stolen item gone, consumed by my greedy older brother, I still hadn't been able to stomach what I had done for a long time after it happened.

My six-year-old mind couldn't exactly comprehend why I had gotten into trouble and Airi hadn't, but the knowledge that I had done something to disappoint my mother kept me silent.

When I stole for the first time, I didn't really know how I was going to go on with my life. Dramatic, I knew, but everything seemed like the end of the world to me at that point. That feeling, the one where you feel as if you're going to be sick and can do nothing to stop it, like you've done something so terrible and nothing will ever be right again, it came back the morning after I had my dream, the morning after I ran away.

_I ran away. _The thought was swirling around in my mind, refusing to leave me to my peace, and as I watched the landscape pass by outside the window, my situation started to become increasingly less real.

I woke up around seven-thirty that morning, paralyzed with terror from the recurring dream of my sister and the red moon that I had multiple times throughout the night. Hige had been slumped against my shoulder, snoring away, completely oblivious to the inner turmoil that my momentary lapse of judgment had caused.

I winced, unsettled that I considered the whole situation to be nothing more than a "momentary lapse of judgment." This was no time to doubt my decision to leave. If I thought about it too much, I would be tempted to go back, and then where would I be? But I couldn't get over the feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach, the same feeling that came over me as soon as I had stuffed that candy bar into my pocket all those years ago.

I sat in silence for over half an hour, concentrating on the uncomfortable feeling in my shoulder from Hige's weight. It was the only thing keeping me from panicking, reminding me that this would be the least of my pain from here on out. Returning home now would mean more beatings at the hands of my siblings.

Hige woke up eventually, and the first thing that came out of his mouth was that he was hungry.

"Hige, look around you." Tsume snapped, and I knew he was tired from staying awake all night to drive. I wondered if Kiba and Hige could drive as well, if only to give Tsume a break. "We're practically in the middle of nowhere. There isn't going to be a restaurant every time your stomach decides to be a pain in the ass."

"Well, excuse me for not planning ahead and packing something to eat. I was kind of busy, in case you've forgotten." Hige retorted indignantly.

_I was making sure Toboe got away safely. _I knew that's what Hige wanted to say, or maybe something similar, though he didn't, possibly for my sake. I didn't know if I felt annoyed or grateful for his careful wording, but at that point, all I wanted was to get out of the car.

I'd never been especially good at sitting still for long periods of time. I was starting to get a bit stir-crazy. I couldn't find a comfortable position and my leg was beginning to fall asleep. I shifted uncomfortably, and from the corner of my eye, I saw Hige do the same.

"Guys, don't start this now." Kiba said from the front seat. The sound of his voice startled me. He hadn't said a word since the previous night, and I'd wondered if maybe he was still asleep. "It's too early in the morning."

"Tell that to the human garbage disposal." Tsume snorted, and the car sped up a bit as he stepped on the gas. I tried to keep my motion sickness under control. I'd never say anything to them, but this was the first time I'd ever been in a car.

"You're picking fights with him." Kiba said, irritated. "He's hardly sixteen, cut him some slack."

"Really? You're going to pull that card on me, Kiba?"

I sensed an argument on the horizon. Years of dealing with my siblings had taught me to always be on high alert and listen carefully to what was going on around me. And luckily for me I knew exactly how to keep one at bay.

"I'm guessing this is a bad time to say that I need to use the bathroom."

No one said anything after I spoke until Hige started laughing, though the tension between Kiba and Tsume was still weighing heavily on my mind.

"I think I see a gas station up ahead." Kiba spoke again after Hige's laughter had died down. "I don't think it'll be too much trouble to stop for a moment. What do you think, Tsume?"

The golden-eyed man didn't respond, but I jerked forward in my seat a little as Tsume hit the brake a little too hard, causing Kiba to sigh. No one spoke again until Tsume had parked the car, and Hige wasted no time in jumping out of the vehicle, disappearing inside the store.

"I guess I have to go in as well." Kiba said, unbuckling his seatbelt and opening the door. "He doesn't have any money. You coming, Toboe?"

I followed Kiba into the store, and I cringed when the door opened and a bell sounded. It wasn't just the sound that made me uncomfortable. It was also the reminder of home, of Sal's place and his equally irritating door. But now that it was gone, I couldn't help but long for it.

I started to follow Kiba as he wandered around the isles, then spotted Hige and backtracked. He looked to be deep in thought, staring at the bags of chips and cookies in front of him as if the decision he made could be life changing.

"Having any trouble?" I asked him.

"This is too much to choose from, Toboe. I have a weak constitution when it comes to this kind of thing." He replied. "Hey, didn't you say you had to use the bathroom?"

I shrugged, lifting my head and glancing around the store. It was practically empty apart from the clerk at the counter. He looked to be about Kiba's age, though his hair was red and his face was covered in freckles. He looked bored, reading from some magazine as a small fan blew beside him.

My nose wrinkled as the breeze from the fan carried the guy's smell down to me. It seemed that being in the middle of nowhere meant he wasn't exposed to modern-day pleasantries such as deodorant.

"I didn't have to." I said, remembering to answer Hige's question verbally. "I was just trying to distract them from fighting with each other."

"Wait, so, you lied?"

Food abandoned, Hige was looking at me with a perturbed expression on his face. I didn't know what to make of it. You'd think I just told him I robbed a bank or something.

"It was just a little white lie." I protested, glancing over at the clerk, who was now joined by Kiba. He was talking to him quietly, but the boy looked nervous in Kiba's presence. I couldn't say that I blamed him. "No one got hurt."

"Yeah, but – " Hige started to speak but trailed off, giving a slight shake of his head. "Never mind. It's not a big deal."

The air seemed a thousand degrees cooler after that particular exchange for some reason, but I stayed with Hige until he'd managed to sort through everything and pick out what he wanted.

"Where are you guys from?" The clerk asked Hige and I, his eyes shifting from us to Kiba and back again.

Hige said nothing, pretending to be absorbed with the buttons on his jacket, and I stayed silent only to save myself from the longing I was sure would overcome me if I brought up my hometown.

"Fairfield." Kiba said, his eyes on the television above the boy's head.

"Fairfield? That's pretty far. What are you doing all the way out here?"

"We're going on an… expedition."

Kiba's response threw me for a loop. Expedition? Was that what we were telling people? I was under the impression that the town had grown too small for Kiba, Hige, and Tsume, and I was just some kid trying to escape the chaotic mess that was my life.

An expedition was probably a safer way to explain what I was doing with my life at that point.

"An expedition, huh? Well, the best of luck to you guys. Hope you find whatever it is you're looking for." The red-haired boy said.

I turned to leave, but as Hige gathered up his things, I heard him mutter, "Yeah, me too."

Kiba said that the clerk at the gas station told him the nearest town was ten miles from where we were. He'd called it Cosenza, and at that point, it was the only hope I had of getting a bed to sleep in for the night. Or at least that was what I was hoping.

Kiba also said the boy had confirmed that there was a hotel in the town, but I wasn't sure if being in society was the best thing. Surely someone had noticed my absence by now. What if they'd notified the police and they were spreading the word that I'd run away?

For all I knew, everyone in Cosenza could be scouting the area, looking for me. I just hoped nothing bad would happen to Hige, Kiba, and Tsume because of this.

We reached Cosenza around eight in the morning, and I knew immediately that I was going to like the small town. There were people walking their dogs almost everywhere I looked, and no one seemed to be on the verge of fighting one another like back in Fairfield, where you couldn't look at someone without being accused of disrespecting them.

The trees were blowing with the wind, and I rolled down my window, taking in the fresh air. This place was lush and green compared to the deserted road we'd just spent ten hours driving on. The scenery reminded me of home, but I knew this place would be different from the get-go.

For the first time since leaving home, I felt optimistic about something, and I was more than a little worried that it would slip away from me.

"So, where's this hotel you were talking about?" Tsume asked, scanning the streets as he drove, taking in the sights just like I had.

"He told me it was in the heart of town on 17th and Columbus." Kiba replied. "But we should wait and see what's here before we go and settle down for the rest of the day."

"What could possibly be here that we need?" Hige snorted, munching on a stick of beef jerky.

"You never know." Kiba said, and I had the impression that he was speaking in riddles again, waiting for us to figure out what he was trying to imply and act on it, but I was completely lost. "Things just have a way of creeping up on you."

"No kidding." Tsume said. "Now will you tell me what I'm supposed to be looking for so I can park or something?"

I wondered what Kiba wanted us to do, too. What exactly were we looking for? Work? A place to stay? I couldn't imagine that we were staying in Cosenza for very long, not when we were so close to Fairfield. Anyone could recognize us here.

If it were up to me, I would leave this place immediately, despite its peaceful appearance. I had learned over the years not to get too comfortable with something. You never knew when it would disappear.

"Hey, look!" Hige said suddenly, rolling down his window and pointing to something I couldn't see very clearly. "A bookstore!"

"Oh, God, really? You're going to make me stop for a bookstore?"

"What? I like to read now." Hige said, and I thought he sounded really defensive. It wasn't a big deal. I liked to read, too. "At least it's productive. I could be chasing after girls instead, you know. In fact, I see a couple of hotties right over there."

"Bookstore it is." Tsume relented, flashing the turh signal and pulling into the parking lot adjacent to the bookstore.

Hige actually looked excited as Tsume parked the car, but I could tell he was trying to keep it under wraps as all four of us got out of the car and entered the store. I sighed in relief when nothing happened after Tsume opened the glass door, no bell or chime. My ears were shot at this point.

"Welcome to Kindlewood Books." A woman greeted us when we came in. She looked like a typical librarian with her graying brown hair pulled up into a bun and glasses pushed down on the bridge of her nose. I gave her a small smile, but my heart was pounding painfully in my chest. She reminded me of Mrs. Pennon. "Can I help you boys find anything?"

"No, we're just looking." Kiba said pleasantly, smiling at the woman as well. "My brother saw your store and insisted we come inside."

"I'm a reader at heart." Hige stated with a sheepish grin while I tried to get over the fact that Kiba had called Hige his brother. They didn't look much alike and certainly didn't act the same. I reminded myself to ask Kiba about it later. If this was just a ploy for our survival out here, I wanted to know so I could play along.

"There's no shame in that, sweetie." The woman said. "Just take your time and look around. I'm sure you'll find something you're interested in."

"Thank you, Ma'am." Hige said, turning to walk through the store. I stared at his retreating form. I'd never seen him acting so polite.

We all wandered off in different directions, Hige wandering around in the Fiction section while Kiba and Tsume examined Sports. I stayed clear of that, unwilling to subject myself to the tortures of basketball and soccer, and walked around aimlessly, waiting for something to catch my eye.

"Anything you boys fancy? Maybe I could help you find something?" The woman said eventually.

"Anything that doesn't have vampires in it." Hige's voice replied. "A good story told by the undead just isn't possible."

"You know, you're the first person to come in the store in a long time that feels that way. Ever since those Midnight movies came out, that's all people seem interested in."

I listened to Hige's banter with the woman until I came across a stand that caught my eye. It was simply labeled _Wolves_. I'd heard stories about wolves at school, how fierce and cunning they were, but I'd never seen one in real life before. Apparently they were hard to come by, their numbers ravaged by hunters and disease.

Their fur was desirable, and anyone who claimed to have seen or killed a wolf was considered a legend. I'd always been intrigued by them, not for their fur or anything. I couldn't really understand the fascination I had with them.

Part of the reason I'd loved to hang out in the woods when I was younger was the possibility that maybe, if I was lucky, I'd get to see a wolf in the wild. But I knew the closest I'd ever get to a real one were the dogs I saw every day, which were descended from wolves. Not as cunning and certainly not as fierce, but they were sufficient enough.

I reached forward, picking up a book with two wolves on the front cover. One was howling, its head tilted to the sky tinted pink and purple with the sunset, while the other had its head resting on the other's back. They looked every bit as magnificent as I'd imagined them to be.

"Do you know much about wolves?"

I turned my head, seeing the woman standing a few feet away, looking at the book in my hands. "Not a lot. Just the basics that they taught us in grade school."

"That barely scratches the surface of things to learn about them." She laughed, moving forward to stand at my shoulder. "Would you like to hear a little about them?"

Curious, I nodded. "Yes, please."

"Well, they live in packs, but I'm sure you knew that already. There's normally an alpha male and female, followed by dozens of beta wolves, and then an omega at the bottom."

"What's an omega?"

"The wolf all the others pick on, to put it gently." She replied, pushing her glasses up her nose and taking the book from me, flipping through the pages. "Everyone needs an outlet, so to speak, and everyone in the pack has the same one. The omega."

"That hardly seems fair." I stated, feeling angry on the omega's behalf, even though I never had and probably never would see one in real life.

She nodded, flipping through a few more pages until she found whatever she was looking for. "You know, when I was a little girl, my grandmother used to tell me stories about wolves, how they could sense things no one else could."

"Really? What kind of things?" I questioned, glancing up when I heard the sound of the door opening. I watched as Tsume disappeared, going back to the car. I frowned, wondering why he'd left.

Kiba and Hige were still there, and they were watching the two of us. Hige looked horrified, but Kiba had no expression whatsoever. Passing off their behavior as a reaction to a conversation I hadn't been apart of, I returned my attention to the woman.

She looked thoughtful, glancing up at the ceiling and closing the book slowly. "Well… I can't recall exactly what it was my grandmother told me, but she said wolves would be able to sense when the world was coming to an end."

I blinked. The end of the world never really crossed my mind much, and I never worried about it whenever it did. Everything came to an end at some point. "So, what would happen if the end of the world was coming? What would the wolves do?"

"No one really knows. It's just a myth after all, but people all over the globe love to debate what they think might happen. Some people dedicate their entire lives to studying the behavior of wolves. It's such a shame that their population seems to decrease by the decade. There aren't even any wolves in captivity anymore."

"There shouldn't be anyway." I stated, glancing at the cover once more. "Something like that shouldn't be put on display for people's enjoyment. If they want to be seen, you'll see them."

"You're pretty wise for a kid so young." The woman chuckled, and I blushed. I was just saying whatever came to mind, giving no thought to how ridiculous it might've made me seem. "I wish all kids put as much thought into things as you do." She placed the book back in my hands. "Tell you what. Since you're such a charming young man and you seem to be genuinely interested, I'll give you this book for free."

I stared at her, unsure how to reply. "I – I couldn't. I wouldn't feel right taking it and not paying for it."

She tapped her chin with her right pointer finger, pretending to be thoughtful, and I tried to hide my grin. "Hmm, you make a good point. I wouldn't be teaching you a very good life lesson if I just handed stuff out without a fee of any kind. How about this? If I give you the book, you have to promise that you'll come back and tell me if you ever see a wolf in the flesh. Deal?"

I hardly thought it was fair, but the words made me smile. If I thought her looks had reminded me of Mrs. Pennon, then her actions were certainly spot on with my former neighbor's character. "Deal."

We shook hands, and I turned to Kiba and Hige, only to find that Hige was gone, having slipped away while I was distracted. Kiba nodded toward the door, turning to go, and I followed after him. "Thank you for the book, Ma'am."

"Take care, boys!"

Kiba led me out of the store and headed for the car, but I stopped him, suddenly remembering my question. "Kiba, are we supposed to be brothers?" He turned, one eyebrow raised in question. "You told that woman Hige was your brother." I explained further, clutching the book tightly in my hands. "Is that what we're telling people? That we're brothers? 'Cause if so, I want to make sure I don't say anything that will get you into trouble."

Kiba said nothing for a second, either contemplating my question or trying to come up with an answer. "Yeah. Yeah, we're brothers."

I nodded, moving past him to the car. I wondered if that question had ruffled him just as it had me. For the first time since I'd left home, I kind of missed my real brothers. But then I remembered the scab on my head that would most likely leave a scar once it healed, and the thoughts evaporated completely. I was done being their punching bag.

Tsume already had the car running when we got inside, and Hige was sitting in the back seat, his chin in his right hand as he stared out the window. I didn't fail to notice that his body was angled away from me. Had I done something to upset them?

"Did you find what you were looking for, Hige?" Tsume asked as he pulled out of the parking lot. His voice sounded so cold.

Hige didn't reply right away, and I opened up the book the woman had given me for free, turning to a random page.

_Wolf packs are formed with a basic hierarchy with one or two alpha wolves, descending in rank from betas to omegas. While wolves tend to exhibit their ranks to those lesser than them, the whole pack is extremely loyal to one another and will defend each other with their lives._

"Can we just find the hotel? I'm tired. And no, Tsume, I didn't find what I was looking for. I don't think you did either."

* * *

><p>In the twelve hours or so that Toboe had been gone, Airi had discovered some things about herself and her family.<p>

For starters, her mother favored Toboe. Airi had known it from the beginning. Even when the kid had been an infant who did nothing but eat, poop, and cry, it had been so.

Toboe may not have gotten the things she and their brothers did, but that was only because their mother was worried what might happen if she didn't give in to their demands. Airi loved having that kind of power over her mom, but sometimes she wished things were different and her mother looked at _her _with pride in her eyes, not just when she was looking at Toboe.

Second, Airi figured out that Kato wasn't as hard and tough as he portrayed himself to be. When they got home from the police station, Kato had taken it upon himself to stay by their mother's side as Quent interviewed her.

Airi refused to call him Mr. Yaiden as her mother had instructed, if only to see what the man would do. He only observed Airi with cool eyes, and Airi refused to mess with him when that watchdog of his was around. Anyway, Kato was their mother's new confidant, and even if Airi hadn't particularly liked him, she had lost a person she could trash talk Hiro with.

Hiro hadn't come out of his room since they'd been home, and for that, Airi was grateful. She couldn't believe how stupid he'd been the previous night, getting drunk and putting her in this situation. Evidence be damned, she blamed him for everything that had happened. Until she heard her missing brother's annoyingly cheerful voice, Hiro was going to be receiving the brunt of Airi's wrath.

Lastly, Airi had learned that Quent was a master at smooth-talk. In the two hours or so that he'd been in their home, he'd managed to get her mom to open up about everything Toboe said and did in the hours before he went missing without making her cry once. Airi considered that a miracle in itself since her mom had done nothing but cry ever since they'd realized Toboe was gone.

Airi sat at the table with her mother, brother, and Quent as he continued to question them, Sasha sitting beside his chair, ears perked at attention.

"Toboe's a fast runner." Her mother said softly. "I'd like to think that if someone took him, he'd be able to get away quickly and come home."

"There's always hope, Ms. Asher." Quent said, and Airi resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Hope in this situation was useless. It never solved anything. "And you're certain Toboe had no enemies? No one would want to hurt him?"

"He's such a sweet boy. Anyone who would want to hurt him is sick." Airi's mother said, venom present in her tone.

"He wouldn't hurt a fly." Kato added, earning a look of approval from their mother. Airi tried not to gag.

Quent nodded, hands folded across the table much like Officer Katoba had done when he was questioning Airi and her brothers earlier. "I hope you don't mind my asking, Ms. Asher, but what of the children's father? Would he have possibly wanted to take Toboe? Is he in the picture?"

Airi tensed, waiting for the waterworks that was sure to follow after anyone mentioned her dad. She hardly remembered him, though sometimes she would dream about a man who would pick her up from school and take her to get ice cream.

Then he would vanish into thin air, leaving Airi alone on the curb, eating her strawberry waffle cone. She always woke up crying.

Surprisingly, Airi's mother only shook her head. "He left a few years after Toboe was born. We haven't heard from him since."

"I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds to me that he didn't deserve you or the children." Airi snorted quietly under her breath when Quent spoke. There was that smooth talk again.

"Toboe was better off without him." Their mother said, and Airi shared a glance with Kato. They knew what she was really thinking. _He was around for Hiro, Kato, and Airi and look how they turned out. _"He never asked and I never told him. I thought it was best."

"Ms. Asher, the police want to do a story on the case. Well, I guess I should say the media does, but the force think it would be best to spread the word about your son as soon as possible in case someone sees him. They need your consent to use pictures of Toboe, and they might need an interview or two."

Airi's mother nodded eagerly, reaching over to grab one of Kato's hands. Kato didn't seem bothered. His attention was on Quent. "Anything to find my son."

"Do you have any pictures they could use?"

She nodded, glancing over at Kato. "Kato, could you go up to Toboe's room and see if you can find something in there we could use?"

Kato hesitated, and Airi could plainly see that her brother didn't want to go into Toboe's room.

"I'll do it." She grunted, pushing her chair away from the table and getting to her feet. She still hadn't changed out of her dress from last night's festivities and was starting to feel uncomfortable in it. "I was going up there anyway."

Airi's mother nodded but didn't look at her, and with one last eye roll, Airi stalked away. She trudged up the stairs, kicking a red plastic cup that hadn't been picked up yet before entering her room, deciding to change before making the journey to Toboe's room.

She kicked off her heels and ripped her necklace off, satisfied with the snapping sound and tossing it to the floor. Breaking stuff was fun and proved to be the only way to calm her when something went wrong. It wasn't productive, but it was definitely better than drinking or smoking.

She shimmied out of her dress, letting it pool at her feet, and she walked around the room in only her bra and underwear, searching for something somewhat clean to wear. Laundry had been Toboe's forte. She picked up a black tank top and pulled it over her head, then pulled on a pair of gray sweats she had borrowed from some friend that she had never planned to return.

She glanced at her reflection in the mirror, taking in her haggard appearance before quickly exiting the room. She didn't care if she looked like a half-dead raccoon. She planned on going back to sleep after this anyway.

Airi passed Hiro and Kato's room on her way to Toboe's. The door was shut and bolted, no sound passing through at all. _Let him sulk like a baby. _She thought as she passed.

Airi couldn't remember the last time she'd been in Toboe's room without the intent to steal. Well, in a way, she guessed she was going to steal a few pictures if she could find them, but she told herself that Toboe wouldn't mind.

Upon entering the room, she immediately wanted to leave. It was just as clean as she imagined it to be, but something seemed missing, though it was obvious what it was.

Snow was curled up in Toboe's bed, burrowed within the unmade sheets. She hissed as Airi milled about the room, though she didn't move.

"Shut up." Airi snapped, looking through drawers in search of something she could use. "I'm here for a reason, you dumb cat."

Airi's gaze was drawn to a picture on Toboe's dresser. It was of him and the white rat, taken a few days after he'd found her almost a year ago. Airi decided to take it. He hadn't changed much in the looks department since the photo had been taken, and she really didn't want to be in here any longer than necessary.

"What do you think?" Airi said, turning to the cat and holding the picture up. Maybe she was losing her mind, talking to her missing brother's cat like it was a person, just as he always did. "Is this one good?"

Snow hissed again, and Airi snapped, tired and frustrated. "He's gone, you piece of shit!" She snarled. "Face the facts and realize that he might not come back. If that's the case, you're stuck with us! Get used to it!"

With that, she stomped out of the room, annoyed that she'd lost her temper, but even more annoyed that a _cat _had made her that angry. She flew down the stairs quickly, eyes burning for reasons that she refused to acknowledge, and slapped the photo down on the table as soon as she entered the kitchen.

"There's your picture!" She spat.

Airi fled after that, running back up the stairs and flying into her room. She didn't know what to do with herself, not wanting to just throw herself onto her bed and scream into her pillow. She hadn't done that since she was nine, and she wasn't about to do it now.

Instead, she picked up a bottle of perfume and hurled it at the wall, watching in satisfaction as it shattered and splattered all over her wall. The sound either didn't carry downstairs or no one cared enough to come check on her, but the only sound after that was Airi's hard breathing.

Then suddenly, softly, a jingling came from down the hall. Airi glanced at her door, mouth set in a hard line as Snow appeared in the doorway, body tense as she looked at Airi. The two stared one another down until Airi moved forward with every intention of kicking the feline out of her room.

But instead of moving back, Snow moved forward into the room, jumping onto Airi's dresser and sitting there, observing Airi with ice blue eyes. Too tired to deal with her brother's pet, Airi slammed her door shut and locked it much like Hiro had done, finally throwing herself onto her bed.

She pulled the covers up over her head, trying to ignore the fact that Toboe's cat – the one who only hours ago had hated her and refused to be anywhere near her – was in her room.

Maybe the world really was ending. Toboe was gone, and Airi was left with his cat. But that, she supposed, was what Toboe would've wanted.

Airi didn't allow herself to cry, but managed to fall asleep under Snow's watchful gaze, somehow knowing that when she woke up, the cat would still be there.

* * *

><p><em>A.N. <em>I'm kind of curious what you guys think about Blue and her absence and where she might be in this mess Toboe unknowingly created. Expect the next chapter within a week of this being posted! Thanks to all who reviewed, favorited and alerted and whatnot. It lifts my spirits when I'm having a rough day.


	9. Ghosts of the Past

_**Chapter 8: Ghosts of the Past**_

* * *

><p>"I can't do this anymore."<p>

"Hige – "

"No, Kiba, I just can't do it! It's only been a day and already I'm losing my mind."

"I hate to say it, but I agree with Porky." Tsume said, and the tone of his voice both annoyed and grounded Kiba. Even if things were starting to slowly spiral out of control, Tsume was still the pessimistic wolf Kiba had known for most of his life. "How long are we going to be able to keep this up, Kiba?"

Kiba stifled a sigh as his friends forced all their worries and frustrations onto his tired mind, trying to keep his temper and just barely succeeding. He'd always been known as the most rational and levelheaded when it came to certain things, but these days things were different. Kiba could literally feel the thin thread of patience he possessed growing smaller and smaller as time passed, and he didn't like it.

After they'd left Kindlewood Books, Kiba had suggested they head to the hotel to sort some things out and decide what they were going to do next. He hadn't said that in front of Toboe, of course, but Tsume and Hige knew what he'd meant.

The incident at the bookstore had bothered Hige extremely, and Kiba knew Tsume felt the same even if he refused to say so aloud. Kiba hadn't been especially affected by it, but he'd been intrigued by Toboe's interest and the woman's willingness to feed him information, even going so far as to give him the book for free.

Books on wolves were coveted since so little was known about them, but Kiba didn't need a book to learn everything about his kind.

Kiba believed firmly in fate and destiny, and he considered their encounter at the bookstore to be an unexpected twist of fate. It was no accident that Toboe had received that book, but at this point Kiba really wished he hadn't. It only complicated what was already sure to be a hard battle to bring Toboe back to himself.

They'd left Toboe in the car while they went inside to get a room for the night, telling him that it was only so he wouldn't be discovered, but in reality, the three of them just needed a chance to talk alone.

So, that's what they did as they waited for the woman at the counter to return with a set of room keys. "I already said that it's not best to force anything on him." Kiba said calmly, listening to the sound of the clock on the wall, counting in time with the ticks. "He's got the book. He'll figure it out eventually."

"That book isn't going to help him any." Hige whispered harshly, glancing nervously toward the back room where the woman had disappeared, as if waiting for her to reappear and catch them talking. "We're the closest things he's ever going to get that will help him understand."

"You don't know that. We can't tell him why he forgot."

"And that book will?" Tsume snorted, and Kiba had to mentally restrain himself from growling at him. Infuriating was the gentlest possible way to describe Tsume. "The only ones who could know what happened are – "

"He's going to get suspicious." Hige interrupted quickly, acting as if Tsume hadn't spoken. "Everything he does that's different from before sets us off and sometimes we can't recover in time. He's smart, he notices these things. The days we spent together last week… Kiba, it was terrible. I can't keep pretending that I don't know certain things about him. I'm going to spill something if we keep this up."

With everything that had changed since the regeneration of the world, Kiba had been shocked by Hige's change the most. He was still gluttonous and made jokes at all the wrong times, and his girl obsession was still there albeit not as prominent, but the way he worried about every little thing both saddened and frustrated Kiba.

Given Hige's past, Kiba understood where the irrational fears and worries came from. He was only frustrated because he hadn't been able to help him at all. "Give it a few more days, weeks maybe." Kiba said. "It'll all work out in the end."

"We can't keep ignoring the fact that we took Toboe away from his home." Tsume said lowly. "The authorities will be on us in a matter of minutes if we're not careful. And I'm sure the security cameras back at the apartment caught us since _someone _didn't cover them like they were supposed to."

"Excuse me?" Hige retorted, and for a moment he sounded just as he had back in the day, back when he was older than Kiba and didn't have a care in the world. Now that Kiba was the oldest for a change, he couldn't help but feel responsible for Hige, even if he insisted that he didn't need anyone looking after him. "I was kind of busy helping Toboe get away. You were there for a half hour before we got back, why didn't you do it?"

"Don't fight." Kiba said, focusing on the clock once more. _One, two, three, four. _"You both are stressed enough as it is." Deciding it was time for a subject change, he added, "What do you two think we should do next? Finding Cheza now could help us explain things to Toboe."

"I think I smell Lunar Flowers." Hige said softly. "But I wouldn't put it past me if I was just imagining it. It wouldn't be the first time."

"Your guess is as good as ours." Tsume said to Hige, and Kiba was glad that Tsume was making an effort in trying to make the younger wolf feel confident about himself.

They both knew that Hige's issues with his memories were far more serious than their own, and they'd tried almost everything to help him sort through what was real and what wasn't. But the depths of Hige's mind were almost impossible to navigate, and Kiba and Tsume normally did more bad than good when they attempted to help. Hige needed more help than they could offer him, but he wasn't willing to accept it.

"If you say you smell Lunar Flowers then we have no reason to doubt you." Tsume continued, and Kiba was impressed by his choice in wording. Kiba hadn't smelled anything, and he was sure Tsume hadn't either. In all actuality, they had every reason to doubt Hige, and Hige knew it too.

"We'll either need to go back to the bookstore or find a library to see what we can find out about Lunar Flowers. Maybe they're more diverse in certain areas."

"Or maybe I'm just crazy and they don't exist anymore." Hige said bitterly, his eyes burning with a quiiet rage that Kiba was no stranger to.

"That's not true, Hige." Kiba assured him. "We heard Cheza's voice. If there were no flowers then she wouldn't be here. Just remember that the next time you can't figure out what's real."

Before Hige had a chance to argue, the front door to the hotel opened, and Toboe came inside. He walked over to them, unaware that he had just walked in on a serious conversation.

"What are you doing?" Tsume demanded, unable to keep the tension out of his voice. "We told you to stay in the car."

Kiba didn't know if Toboe was bothered by Tsume's tone, but if he was, he did a good job of hiding it. "I got bored, so I came inside." He replied casually, tossing the car keys to Tsume. "Plus, a police car drove by. I kind of psyched myself out and couldn't stay out there."

Even though Toboe was probably as close as he was going to get to being the boy Kiba remembered, he couldn't help but note how defiant he could. Toboe never would have run away no matter how bad things were – not that Kiba wasn't glad he decided to come – and if he'd been told to stay in the car, he would've stayed.

But Kiba couldn't judge the teen. After all, Hige hadn't had a decent night's sleep without waking up in tears because of his nightmares in a long time, and Kiba was still counting in time with the ticking clock in his mind. Kiba didn't know what was wrong with Tsume – if anything was wrong at all – but he didn't think it was likely that he'd escaped harm when the rest of them struggled to lead normal lives.

They were all messed up, but Kiba decided that was what made them a pack.

"Alright, here are your room keys." The woman returned before anything else could be said, placing two cards in Kiba's hand. "Check out is at eight in the morning."

"Thank you." Kiba said, turning to walk towards the elevator with Tsume, Hige, and Toboe in tow.

"Did you use your real name when she asked?" Toboe asked curiously once they were safely confined within the elevator.

Kiba shook his head, watching the number above the door change as they moved up the floors. _One, two, three, four. _"I didn't see the point in trying to come up with fake ones. We'll be gone come tomorrow morning." _Our last name is changed every few years anyway._

"Let the cops find us." Hige said with humor in his voice. Kiba was glad he could still be light-hearted like before. He just didn't know how much of it was genuine. "I can take 'em."

"Like you could take on Bear and my brothers?" Toboe teased.

"Didn't we already go over this, Toboe?"

Kiba tuned the two out as they talked, trusting Hige to keep his composure now that Toboe was around and walked out of the elevator as soon as the doors slid open.

"Gimme that." Hige said quickly, snatching a card from Kiba. "I heard her say Room 21, and I want to see it first. You comin', Toboe?"

As the two moved down the hall in search of the room, Tsume said, "You'd think he would act older than he is, but he doesn't."

"Let him be a kid." Kiba said with a shrug. "These past few years have been hard for all of us."

"I'm just saying." Tsume continued, and the two slowed their pace as Toboe and Hige found the room, not waiting for them as they slipped inside. "You act like you're a thousand years old sometimes. Hige acts like a pup even though he's technically been alive for thirty-four years."

"What, you want him to be depressed and boring?"

"No, I just wish he would act like he has common sense. Sometimes it's like he doesn't even remember what we went through. He pretends everything's fine and won't accept help."

"If he wants help, he'll ask for it." Kiba said, tired of the conversation. This had to be about the hundredth time they'd had it. "Hige has a general idea of what happened and remembers enough, but some things are still hazy."

"You're not telling me anything that I don't already know."

The conversation dropped as the two reached the room. Hige and Toboe had left the door open, and Toboe was already sitting on one of the beds, legs crossed as he watched Hige try and figure out how to work the TV.

"This is such a pain in the ass." Hige huffed. "Where's a guide when you need one?"

Kiba was always impressed by how Hige could act so normal and appear fine on the outside when things were completely chaotic on the inside. No one knew anything was wrong until they witnessed one of his episodes.

"You're acting like you've never seen a TV before." Tsume snorted, which was as close to a laugh as he was going to get.

"We didn't have one at home." Toboe said, mostly to himself. "My mom said it was bad for us."

Hige glanced over at Toboe, a look of exaggerated shock on his face. "What the heck did you _do _all day?"

"Cleaned a lot, read some, cleaned some more." Toboe said, rolling his eyes, but Kiba saw the wistful look within them. It was so Toboe-like for him to miss something that had been terrible that Kiba almost broke and told him about their past, just so they could have their friend back.

But that wasn't what was best for Toboe, so Kiba stayed silent.

"Well, now you won't have to clean." Hige said. "Kiba and Tsume get to do it since they're basically the parents in this situation."

"Don't start with me, Hige. You clean your messes, and I'll clean mine." Tsume said.

Hige smirked, glancing over at Toboe. "He's rough and tough on the outside, but inside he's like a teddy bear. He'll break eventually and cater to my every whim."

"You're delusional, Porky."

_One, two, three, four._

* * *

><p>For the first time since I'd left home, I was feeling a sense of normalcy. It felt good to be lying in a bed, so good in fact that I never wanted to leave. Hige was lying in the bed beside mine watching TV, though come nightfall, we would be sharing one while Tsume and Kiba took the other.<p>

We'd been in Cosenza for about three days despite what Kiba had said about leaving the morning after we arrived. He and Tsume spent most days away from the hotel, doing who knows what. I never asked, not wanting to pry.

Hige and I had only left once on the second day, doing a little sightseeing that ended when we saw a police car. Living in fear of being discovered wasn't ideal, but as time went on my anxiety started to lessen.

I debated digging in my backpack and looking for the wolf book, but I really wasn't in the mood to read. I was perfectly content with listening to Hige argue with the TV.

"God, I hate television." Hige commented. "Everything's going to shit. It was better back in the day."

"Back in the day? What, are you secretly sixty years old?" I commented.

"Ha ha, very funny." Hige replied. "But seriously, am I the only one that thinks this is stupid?"

"I do, Airi does, Kato doesn't watch TV, and Hiro thinks everything sucks."

"I thought you didn't have a TV at home?"

"That doesn't mean I've never watched television before, Hige." I laughed. "I just have better things to do with my time."

Hige pushed himself up so he was leaning on his forearms and looked over at me, a humorous glint in his eyes. "Are you suggesting that I have nothing better to do with myself?"

"What? Me? Never!"

Hige rolled his eyes, grabbing a pillow and pitching it at my head, and I held up my arm to block it. "Hey, what did I do?"

"You were being sarcastic." Hige said simply, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Some of the things Hige said and did reminded me of my siblings, but the way he teased me never made me feel insecure like whenever Airi or Kato did it. "And I didn't give you permission, because, as you know, I'm the king of sarcasm."

"Self-proclaimed titles don't count, Hige."

Hige and I both fell silent when a buzzing noise came from the TV, and my heart began to pound when I noticed the words dancing across the screen.

"This message has been brought to you by the police force of Fairfield." Hige read them aloud in a shaking voice, as if I couldn't read it by myself. "Please stay tuned for an important broadcast."

I sucked in a breath, locking eyes with Hige. "It could be anything." He said urgently, eyes darting back to the screen nervously. "This is too early for a news broadcast about it, don't you think?"

Nothing was impossible when it came to Fairfield.

I listened carefully as the buzzing ended, and the announcer began to speak, a picture of my hometown appearing on the screen, along with a woman who I assumed to be a reporter. "Breaking news. In the small town of Fairfield, for the first time in almost two decades, a child has gone missing."

"Oh, God." I heard Hige say.

"Fifteen-year-old Toboe Asher was last seen around seven forty-five Tuesday night in his home in Fairfield. Police reported that siblings Airi, Kato, and Hiro Asher threw a party while their mother was absent from the home. The siblings say that Toboe stayed in his room the entire night, but when they went to check on him Wednesday morning, their brother was gone."

The story sounded accurate enough to me, but hearing it come from someone else's mouth made it sound ten times worse. A video started playing, showing police around my home, the entire area surrounded by yellow caution tape.

The scene looked like one from the movies, with the officers in the yard and my neighbors gathered around, trying to figure out what was going on. It looked ridiculous to me. There was no crime scene. What were they searching for?

"We've found no evidence of a struggle," a man I knew as Officer Katoba appeared onscreen suddenly, "so we think Toboe either knew whoever took him or he was caught off guard and knocked unconscious."

Hige snorted, but my nerves were starting to get to me. It was only a matter of time before they figured out that there was no sign of a struggle because no one had taken me. I'd left willingly.

"Neighbors don't recall ever seeing Toboe leave the home Tuesday night, but under the cover of darkness, anything can occur." The news anchor said once more, her blonde hair blowing in the wind.

"Toboe was a kind and gentle boy." I sucked in a breath when Mrs. Pennon appeared, her sullen and quiet husband at her side. "I can't figure out why anyone would do this to him. I can only imagine what his poor mother must be going through."

"Veteran police chief, Quent Yaiden, has taken on the case. Yaiden retired from the force fifteen years ago after an accident left him unable to perform his duties, but he and his dog Sasha continue to bring missing children home to their families."

As a picture of a man with a dog at his side appeared on the screen, Hige let out a strange noise. I glanced over at him quickly before turning my attention back to the television.

"I've seen this kind of thing before," the man, Quent Yaiden, said. "And cases like these are normally runaways. But Toboe's family has reassured me that the boy wouldn't do that, and after everything I've seen, I don't think he would either."

_You don't know me at all, then. _The shot went back to the blonde-haired anchor, and a picture of me materialized beside her. My eyes watered when I realized it was a picture of me and Snow, taken almost a year ago, back when she was still a tiny kitten.

I'd successfully managed to avoid thinking about her in the time I'd been gone, but now my longing for her was starting to catch up with me. I prayed the broadcast would be over soon. "Once again, Toboe is fifteen years old. He's five foot five and weighs around one hundred and thirty-five pounds, with red hair and brown eyes."

Red hair. My hair wasn't like the boy that I'd seen at the gas station's. "It's auburn." I found myself saying exactly as Hige muttered, "It's not red."

"Time is of the essence as Toboe Asher's chances of survival dwindle with every passing minute. If you have any information as to the boy's whereabouts, call the number at the bottom of your screen."

The woman signed herself off and the screen returned to whatever show Hige had been watching. The both of us said nothing for some time after the broadcast, processing what we'd just seen.

The sick feeling in the pit of my stomach refused to go away. If I never went home, would my mom think I was dead? It didn't settle well with me, but I didn't know what to do. _What do I do?_

Before either of us could gather our bearings, the door opened, and Kiba and Tsume walked in, stopping dead in their tracks when they saw the looks on our faces.

"What happened?" Tsume demanded, glaring at Hige as if he'd done something wrong.

Something in me snapped then. I didn't know if it was because I was finally realizing what I was doing, or hearing them say my chances of living were slim – even though I knew I wasn't going to die – or seeing Mrs. Pennon's face and listening to her voice her worry for me.

All I knew was that I lost it.

"Things just got messy." Hige said grimly as I burst into tears.

* * *

><p>"Is he asleep yet?"<p>

"I think so." Hige said softly from where he sat in his bed, observing Toboe with a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.

The kid had been practically inconsolable after the broadcast about his disappearance had aired, and Hige had to calm him down on his own since Kiba and Tsume hadn't known what happened to him.

Hige hadn't liked the anger he'd seen in Tsume's eyes. It wasn't his fault Toboe was upset. He hadn't done anything to him.

Toboe had eventually cried himself into exhaustion, but Hige wouldn't leave his side. He'd needed the reassurance almost as much as Toboe had.

"Now will you tell us what happened?" Kiba asked.

"There was a report about his disappearance." Hige said drily. "I'm guessing he heard and saw some things he didn't like."

"Why the hell did you let him watch it?" Tsume demanded.

Hige glared over at him, pulling his knees close to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. "I figured it would be good to know what they thought had happened to him. And I'm kind of glad I watched it, because I saw something interesting."

"What was it?"

"Pops."

Kiba and Tsume stayed silent, staring at Hige like they thought he'd lost his mind. Hige knew his credibility wasn't exactly one hundred percent, but he knew what he'd seen on that television.

"He had a dog with him." Hige continued when they didn't say anything. "A black lab. I don't think it was Blue, though. It didn't have her eyes, and it didn't look part wolf. I don't think he remembers either, kinda like Toboe."

"Hige, are you sure it was Pops?" Tsume asked eventually. "I mean – "

"I'm not making this shit up!" Hige snapped, thankful that Toboe was too far gone to hear him. "I know what I saw, there was nothing hazy about it."

"Tsume never said there was." Kiba said slowly, shooting a glance at the golden-eyed wolf. "He has the right to be cautious, Hige. I do believe you, though. I saw Pops too on the day we heard Cheza's voice. He didn't seem to recognize me, so I didn't think it was worth mentioning."

"So, he's hunting us." Hige declared, trying to keep his anger in check, refusing to look at Tsume. "History's repeating itself, Kiba, it's happening again."

"No, it's not." Kiba said firmly. Hige knew he was being irrational, but nothing about their lives was ever set in stone. Hige's life was one déjà vu moment after another, and he hated it. Their second chance was supposed to be different, but the entire thing disappointed Hige so far. They were the ones that had changed, not the world. "Everything's going to be different, Hige. Everything's fine."

Hige said nothing, shifting his gaze down to Toboe. Although the boy still had tears spilling down his face, he looked far more peaceful than Hige could ever remember being. He didn't want to feel bitter, didn't want to acknowledge the flash of jealousy within him whenever he looked at Toboe, but it was hard to ignore.

Hige guessed he should count himself lucky that he could remember who he'd been before, but remembering the Hige from the past made him feel even more terrible. The old Hige wasn't like this, and he would give _anything_ to be like he was before.

Some part of Hige wished he was like Toboe and couldn't recall anything so he could accept what he had become. He couldn't help but feel like he'd let himself down. "Did you guys find anything about Lunar Flowers?" Hige asked, pushing the thoughts away for now.

"Not a thing." Kiba replied, sitting down on the bed adjacent to Hige. "Have you smelled anything?"

Hige shook his head, though in truth, he'd been smelling the flowers since they'd arrived in the city, or maybe a little bit before then. It came at random times when he wasn't trying to sense it, and when it did, it startled him.

When memories from their past sprang on him like that, Hige wasn't sure how to handle it. All he could do was stay silent and wait for the moment to pass.

Kiba sighed, and if he could tell that Hige was lying, he didn't call him out. "We should probably get going soon. Who knows when that special about Toboe was filmed and televised. Pops could be on his way here right now."

Hige nodded, refusing to look Kiba in the eye as he got off the bed and made a move to grab both his and Toboe's bags. He hated it when Kiba looked at him like he was a wounded animal that needed taking care of.

Hige supposed he was just lucky that Kiba had found him all those years ago. He didn't know what he would be doing right now if it weren't for his friends.

"The woman at the library said there was an international library a few towns over." Tsume said as Hige milled about the room. "In a place called Solerno."

"Sounds fancy." Hige commented. "Say it with an accent next time and maybe I'll learn to accept it."

"If we're going to find anything about Lunar Flowers, it'll be in Solerno." Kiba said, glancing over at Toboe. "Should we wake him up or wait to leave until morning?"

"Let him sleep." Hige said instantly. "He's going to need all the rest he can get."

"I've got him." Tsume sighed, moving closer to the unconscious teen and picking him up. "God, he weighs more than what he used to."

"That's because he's different than how he used to be." Hige said sharply, watching as Tsume rolled his eyes, trying to cover up the fact that he knew he'd made a mistake in saying something like that in front of him. "Can we go now?"

Kiba nodded, grabbing the rest of their things and gesturing for Tsume to go first. "Hige and I will turn in the keys. Take Toboe to the car."

Tsume nodded and left without another word. Hige stood still and didn't speak, knowing what was coming next. Kiba always got rid of Tsume when he had something important to say to Hige.

Kiba fixed Hige with a piercing blue stare. "Are you alright?"

Hige resisted the urge to roll his eyes, nodding stiffly. "Yes, Mom."

"Don't lie. You've been acting strange for days now. Are you seeing things again?"

Hige shook his head. "No. It's been months since that last happened. I'm fine, Kiba."

"I'm only trying to look out for you, Hige."

"I told you I'm fine." Hige snapped, slinging Toboe's backpack over his shoulder. "Stop worrying about me and start focusing on important things like finding Cheza and restoring Toboe's memory."

"None of that will matter if you lose it along the way." Kiba shot back, the familiar flecks of yellow appearing in his eyes, and Hige considered apologizing and backing down. Kiba was fair and all, but if you made him angry these days, all Hell broke loose. "And frankly, if fixing Toboe means he'll end up like you, I don't think we should do it."

Kiba's tone stung, and Hige tried to hide how affected he was by his friend's harsh words. Kiba expression instantly turned apologetic, and his face softened as he closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to come out like that. I'm just worried about you, Hige."

_And I'm worried about you. _Hige thought sadly. Kiba looked calm, but Hige knew he was counting in his mind. The ticking of the clock was too hard to ignore.

"Let's go." Kiba said eventually, brushing past Hige as he headed towards the door. "Tsume's probably wondering where we are."

Hige breathed a small sigh once Kiba was out of hearing range, his straight posture loosening a bit as exhaustion began to weigh on his mind. The prospect of being on the move again wasn't very appealing to him anymore.

When they found Toboe, Hige had been excited about traveling with his friends again, just like old times. But now Hige wasn't sure how he felt about it.

Some part of him longed for the life that he'd had before, the one he'd been unable to protect.

But the other part, the stronger part, wished that it had never happened.

* * *

><p><em>A.N. <em>Neither Kiba nor Hige have serious mental issues, and I'm aware the both of them acted a little bit OOC at some parts in this, but there's a really good reason. I can't see them ever being quite the same ever again after everything that happened. Thanks to everyone who reviewed!


	10. Abandoned

_**Chapter 9: Abandoned**_

* * *

><p>"So, your brother's really missing?"<p>

Airi nodded, resisting the urge to roll her eyes, taking a long, slow drag from her cigarette. "Yes, Olivia, Toboe's really missing. Have you not been watching the news?"

Olivia shook her head, tucking a stray piece of brunette hair behind her right ear. "My parents grounded me after I got home from your party the other day. I threw up on the carpet, and they went insane."

"Yeah, well." Airi said drily, leaning back against the cool metal of the stairwell, kicking up her feet to rest them against one of the metal bars. "I didn't get grounded, but I might as well be. I'm practically under house arrest with all the police and investigators that are around."

"Then how'd you get out here?"

"I snuck out, same as you."

It had been three days since Airi had last seen Toboe, and only one since that bullshit special about his disappearance had aired. They'd wanted to interview Airi and her brothers, but their mother had been adamant that the three of them maintain their silence, keeping them confined to the house until further notice.

Airi hated being treated like a caged animal, so when Olivia had called, asking if she was free, she'd jumped at the chance to get out.

"How's your mom taking it?" Olivia asked, waving a hand in front of her face to try and rid her breathing air of Airi's cigarette smoke.

Olivia really wasn't much of a party girl, and even if she'd gotten completely bat-shit drunk the other night, she wasn't a heavy drinker or a smoker. Airi sometimes wondered why Olivia was still hanging around her. Personally, she thought they'd outgrown each other years ago. But for some reason, she was still there.

"She hasn't stopped crying yet, if that answers your question." Airi huffed, reaching over to flick a spider off her friend's arm.

Olivia was deathly afraid of spiders. The place was crawling with them and had been since they were kids, when they used to come here after school to eat candy in secret.

Fairfield was full of run-down apartment buildings and businesses, and Airi and Olivia had made one their permanent hangout spot where they could escape their parents and do what they pleased. Those times were few and far between as years went by, and this was probably the first time they'd been here in at least a year.

"Man, that sucks, Airi." Olivia said, green eyes shining with sympathy. "I'm so sorry."

Airi kept quiet, not trusting herself to not say something she'd regret later, only taking another drag from her cigarette. Olivia was soft, had been since they were kids, so there was no use getting worked up about it.

"How are Kato and Hiro doing?"

Airi smirked at the question, knowing perfectly well that her friend had had a crush on Kato from the day they'd first met. "_Kato's _doing fine, I guess. He's been hanging around my mom a lot lately, so I don't see him much. Hiro on the other hand – "

She trailed off, waiting for a burning anger that never came. As days passed, she was starting to feel increasingly worried as Hiro spent day after day alone in his room. Kato had been sleeping on the couch in the living room, and their mother had done nothing to force the two to make up and start acting like brothers again. Airi had come to realize that Toboe's disappearance had nothing to do with her brother, but her pride kept her from going to him and apologizing.

"He's taking it the hardest, I'm guessing." Olivia said. "Some people grieve differently than others. Your mom expresses it openly, Kato gets protective, and Hiro closes himself off from the world."

Airi rolled her eyes, wiping sweat away from her brow. It was especially hot, even if she and Olivia were sitting in the shade. "Don't even start with me, Olive. I get enough of that shit at home."

Olivia shrugged sheepishly, her bangs falling in front of her eyes. "I can't help it sometimes. So, what do you think happened to Toboe?"

"Truthfully?" Airi asked, observing the street below them without much interest. There were hardly any kids seen roaming the streets after Toboe's disappearance became known to the public. These streets were normally crowded at this time of day, but from what Airi could see, she and Olivia were the only adolescents around for miles. "I don't really know what to think. If I were Toboe, I would've ran, but he's too chicken-shit to pull anything like that, so I guess the only explanation is that he was taken."

"How can you talk about it so casually? He's not even my brother, and I can hardly keep the tears away." Olivia didn't mean it in an accusing or malicious way, so Airi didn't even give her words a second thought.

"I don't know." She replied gruffly, throwing her cigarette to the ground and squishing it underneath the heel of her boot. "I just don't think it's worth it since he's coming home eventually."

Olivia didn't say anything, but then again, she didn't really have to. Airi knew what she was thinking.

"I mean," Airi continued, "I'm just thinking of it as an extended trip on his part. It'll be just like when he stayed with those friends of his all freaking d – "

Airi cut herself off, eyes narrowing in thought and frustration. "Son of a bitch."

"What?" Olivia asked, confusion apparent in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I bet that fucker is with those friends of his. What are their names… Kiba and Hige!" Airi declared, fury overcoming her as she got to her feet, stalking down the steps and leaving Olivia to scramble after her. Airi couldn't believe she hadn't thought of this before. Toboe had spent all his time at Kiba and Hige's apartment in the days before the party. He'd probably run off to their place during the party_. _"Oh, I'm going to _kill _him when I find him."

"But, Airi, how do you know he's there?" Olivia asked, trying to keep up with Airi's pace as she stormed down the sidewalk. "Wouldn't he have come home by now?"

"Like I said, he's a fucking chicken." Airi spat, refusing to move as a woman came walking down the sidewalk, almost causing a collision. Olivia mumbled a "sorry" as they passed. "He probably thought he'd get in trouble and has been hiding out there since the party."

"Okay, but – Airi, slow down! Do you even know where you're going?"

"My mom made me walk the runt there once. I remember the way."

The two continued to make their way through town, Airi in the lead as Olivia tried to talk some sense into her, worried that her mother would see them when she came to town for her daily shopping binge.

When the apartment complex came into view, Airi debated what she would do when she saw her brother. Punch him, most likely, though maybe she would just scream at him for causing problems when shit was already jacked up and crazy. She didn't care if his little friends were there. Toboe was _her _brother and no one was going to boss her around when it came to him. She could do whatever the hell she pleased.

The woman at the front desk didn't look up as the two girls came inside, and Airi made it up the stairs without being questioned. Airi stomped down the hall, stopping outside the apartment door and bringing her fist down upon it.

"I know you're in there, Runt, open up!"

"Airi, be quiet." Olivia whispered, glancing down the hall nervously. "Someone might hear you."

Airi ignored her, and when no one answered the door, she took a few steps back. Olivia sighed in relief, breathing out a, "Thank God. Now why don't we just calmly – "

With a stifled grunt, Airi brought up her right leg and kicked at the door, watching in satisfaction as it burst open.

"What the fuck, Airi?" Olivia cried, her voice rising in pitch like it did when she was stressed or upset. "You can't just go around kicking people's doors down! I don't think this is what our moms had in mind when they made us do karate when we were eight!"

The apartment was empty when Airi managed to get Olivia to follow her inside, and Airi didn't have to look around to know that no one was there. Her fury died and was quickly replaced by confusion.

It didn't look like anyone lived there. The air conditioner was off and the furniture was arranged differently than the last time she'd been in the apartment, not that that really mattered.

"Well, no one's home, let's get out of here." Olivia said quickly, tugging on Airi's arm.

Airi shook her off, turning to fix her with a hard stare. "We need to talk with that woman downstairs."

Olivia let out a small whine, anxiety written plainly across her face. "Why? No one's here, Airi. _Toboe's _not here."

That familiar flash of emotion that tore through her whenever anyone mentioned her brother's name showed itself in that moment, and Airi didn't move, her ice blue eyes locked with Olivia's. Airi knew by the way Olivia's posture straightened that she knew she'd struck a nerve. Years of friendship had taught Olivia many things about Airi, and currently she was preparing for a verbal onslaught.

But Airi didn't say a word. Olivia couldn't possibly know what it felt like to lose a brother. She was an only child.

"Please, Olive?" Airi said eventually, her voice tight. "Just this one last thing."

Olivia backed down, allowing Airi to move past her and out of the vacant apartment. Airi never said "please."

As they moved down the hall once more, Airi started to realize what the absence of Kiba and Hige could mean. Airi had always been pessimistic, so assuming the worst of everyone and everything was almost second nature to her, and it didn't matter if Hige had probably been one of the most attractive guys she'd ever seen.

The further they walked, the more Airi became dead-set on the idea that her brother had been kidnapped by the first two friends he'd ever made.

The woman at the front desk looked up as Airi and Olivia came back down the stairs, watching them with wary eyes as they approached the desk.

"Excuse me, but could you please tell me where the boys who live in 2B are?" Airi asked as sweetly as she possibly could. "I went by and no one was home."

The woman was silent for a moment, her eyes shifting from Airi to Olivia and back again, and then she stated, "How do you know them?"

Olivia shifted nervously beside Airi, opening her mouth to stutter some lame excuse that would definitely get them kicked out of the complex.

"Hige's my boyfriend." Airi said smoothly. "I haven't heard from him in a few days, so I just stopped by to see what was up."

The woman's eyes switched from wary to sympathetic in an instant, and she said, "Oh, dear. They moved out a few days ago. Said they were leaving town."

Airi didn't react aside from widening her eyes a bit, playing the part of a wounded girlfriend whose boyfriend had skipped town without saying anything. "H – He left? But he never said… what day did he leave?"

"They paid the last of their rent Tuesday and left that night." The woman replied, glancing at Olivia as the other girl let out a small gasp. "I'm truly sorry. Hige never seemed like the type that would leave his girlfriend without a word. He was such a sweet boy."

_A sweet boy that stole my kid brother! _Airi sniffed, reaching up to wipe away nonexistent tears from her eyes. "It's alright. I knew something was going wrong even before he left. Thank you for your time, Ma'am."

She turned and left the building, Olivia in tow. "Airi," Olivia said, her voice shaking, "she said they left – "

"The night Toboe disappeared." Airi finished for her, her fists curling at her sides. "I can't believe I didn't even think about them until now. That lady is so stupid, doesn't she know that Toboe went missing the night they left? Isn't she suspicious at all?"

"She seemed really nice – "

"So did Kiba and Hige, and now my brother's gone." Airi snapped, coming to an abrupt stop, causing Olivia to crash into her back. "I have to go home and tell my mom. No, I have to tell Quent. Olivia, you should go home."

"Airi – "

"No, Olive." Airi said, turning to fix her friend with a hard stare. She wasn't willing to subject Olivia to the craziness that had been plaguing her house since Wednesday morning. Even when they were kids, Airi had insisted they hang out at Olivia's house instead of her own. She couldn't understand her reluctance to have her friend over, though she knew she wasn't embarrassed by anything. "You need to go home. It'll be harder to explain and deal with everything with you around."

Olivia looked like she wanted to protest, but only nodded in response. Airi let out a startled cry as Olivia yanked her into an intense hug, resting her chin on her shoulder. "Stay safe, Sis." Olivia whispered. "Find Toboe, okay?"

Sis. They'd liked to pretend they were sisters when they were younger since the both of them had always wanted one. Airi had been stuck with boys while Olivia was completely alone.

Airi rolled her eyes fondly and returned the hug before pulling away just as quickly. "Have fun sneaking back into your house, Olive."

The green-eyed girl giggled and turned to walk in the opposite direction, back toward her house. Airi waited until the other girl was out of sight before breaking into a run, wanting to get back home as quickly as possible. The anger at discovering what she thought at happened to Toboe was starting to catch up to her, and she needed to get to her room to find something to break.

Mrs. Pennon was outside gardening as Airi ran by, and she ignored the old woman when she waved at her. Airi still hadn't forgiven her for calling the police on them.

Quent's car was parked by the curb as per usual, and Airi threw open the squeaky gate and stormed up the steps. "Mom!" Airi shouted once she was inside. "Mom, where are you?"

"Kitchen!" The voice that replied wasn't her mother's, but Kato's.

When she entered the kitchen, Kato was standing nearby while Quent and her mom talked in hushed tones at the table. That was how her mother had spent her time since Toboe had gone missing, and Airi was annoyed that Quent hadn't even started looking yet. Sasha was lying on the ground at his feet, watching Airi with dark brown eyes.

"Mom, I need to talk to you." Airi said as she approached.

Her mother sighed. "Can it wait, Airi?"

Airi glared at her. "No. I think I know what happened to Toboe."

Quent turned at her words, his eyes sparked with a quiet interest that annoyed her for some reason. "Oh, do you now?"

She didn't like his tone. It sounded like he was mocking her. "Kiba and Hige." Airi said firmly, staring at her mother, who was the only person aside from Kato who would know what she was talking about. "I went by their apartment to see if Toboe was there, and no one was, not even them. I talked to the woman at the desk and she said they moved out. Mom, they left the night Toboe went missing."

Her mom said nothing, watching Airi with uncertain eyes. She didn't know if she could believe her. Airi didn't blame her, though it was obnoxious. Airi glanced at Quent, who looked more interested than her mother. "Who are Kiba and Hige?" He asked.

"These two boys Toboe hung out with for a week before Tuesday." Kato supplied the answer, looking rather murderous. At least one person believed her claim. "I knew something was off about them from the very beginning."

"Airi, you can't just accuse those boys of taking Toboe when you don't know the truth." Her mother said. "It could just be a coincidence, after all."

Airi was about to accuse her mother of being an idiot when Quent spoke. "Actually, Ms. Asher, this could very well be the lead we've been searching for all this time. I'm going to look into it." He got to his feet, and Sasha sat up as well, shaking the dust from the floor off her fur. "Airi, where did you say you went?"

"The apartment complex on Main Street." Airi said, angered that she couldn't recall the name.

He nodded as if he knew exactly what she was talking about and moved around her, Sasha trotting obediently behind him. "I'll return as soon as I'm finished checking things out." He said before leaving the house.

The house was silent after he left, and eventually Airi's mom stood. "I'll start dinner."

Airi didn't know what she'd expected her mother's reaction to be, but it wasn't that. No, "Good job for discovering something useful, Airi," or "maybe we'll find Toboe now, thanks to you." She shouldn't have felt too disappointed, but she couldn't help it.

Instead of letting it consume her, however, she forced herself to be angry. Without another word she spun around and left, moving her way silently up the stairs. Upon entering her room, she felt a flash of annoyance when she saw a familiar white bundle settled on her unmade bed.

Since Snow had come to her room the day Airi smashed the perfume bottle, the cat had almost never left her side. Snow's behavior hadn't startled Airi as much as it should have, but Airi was even more freaked out by her own reaction. She'd accepted the cat's presence rather quickly, and now she sought the feline out whenever she wasn't in her room.

With a small smirk, she crossed the room and picked the cat up, one arm underneath her front legs and the other cradling her back ones. Snow craned her neck up and touched Airi's cheek lightly with her nose before pulling away to clean her face with her paw.

"We're one step closer." Airi said tiredly, and Snow's ear twitched, almost like she was listening and comprehending. "We'll get Toboe back. Don't you worry."

"What makes you say that?"

Airi jumped and spun around, taking in the sight before her. Hiro was standing in her doorway, wearing nothing but a t-shirt and boxers. He looked a little worse for wear, with visible bags underneath his eyes and greasy, unkempt hair. Snow sneezed in Airi's arms, probably due to the scent that was clinging to Hiro.

"What are you doing out of your room?" Airi asked. "Aren't you supposed to be slowly descending to madness?"

Hiro shrugged, taking a few steps into the room. "Aren't you supposed to hate Toboe's cat?"

Airi snorted, though she didn't release her hold on Snow, who looked like she was going to fly at Hiro at any given moment. "Things change. Anyway, I went to see if Toboe was at Kiba and Hige's, and the lady who worked there said they moved out and left the city the night Toboe went missing." After a moment's thought, she added, "So, it's not your fault he's gone."

Hiro didn't say anything for a moment, but when he did speak, his voice was soft. "Do you regret everything bad you've ever done to him, Airi?"

When she didn't reply, Hiro continued. "I just keep thinking that… if he never comes back, the last thing I ever did was hurt him. If Kiba and Hige did take him, then Toboe must have left the house, and he left because of what _I_ did. If I hadn't done it, Toboe might still be here, Airi."

Airi's chest constricted, and she tightened her hold on Snow. "Hiro – "

"We were so awful to him." Hiro said, almost to himself. "And why? What did he ever do to deserve it?"

Airi didn't have an answer. She'd thought the same thing before, berated herself for being a terrible sister when Toboe had been nothing but kind to all of them since the day he'd been born. Now she understood why Hiro hadn't left his room in days. The weight of what they'd done must've been heavy in her brother's mind, and Airi thought back to what Olivia had said about how people grieve.

_"Some people grieve differently than others." _Olivia hadn't said anything about how Airi handled what had happened, but she had known. Hiro was stronger than Airi, even if he'd closed himself off from the world. Airi refused to acknowledge her pain and took her frustrations out on others when she should've been blaming herself.

"I regret that I wasn't a better sister to him." Airi said, choosing her words carefully so as not to screw them up. "I don't regret what I've done though, because in the end it's just who we are, Hiro. But we'll learn from this, and when Toboe comes back, he isn't going to know what to do with himself. Us being nice. Can you imagine?"

"Airi, I don't think he's coming back. I mean, why would he want to?"

"He didn't leave on purpose, they took him!"

"How do you know?" Hiro retorted, his eyes blazing with an emotion Airi couldn't place. "Maybe he left the house because he was sick of us. Maybe he's gone because he _wants _to be gone."

Airi glared at him, bending over to set Snow on the ground. Let her attack him. She didn't even care anymore. "Get out of here and go take a shower." Airi spat. "Dinner's almost ready."

Hiro sniffed, turning to go. "I won't be coming down for dinner."

And with that he was gone, leaving Airi flustered and angry. Someplace within her, Airi knew that Hiro had a point, but she refused to believe it. Toboe wouldn't leave Snow behind.

Suddenly reminded of the feline, Airi turned to pick her up once more, but Snow was nowhere to be seen. Airi could hear her jingling tags from down the hall though, and she left her room, moving toward Toboe's.

Snow was perched on the windowsill when Airi walked in, and the white creature glanced at Airi before pawing at the window, letting out a few pitiful meows. Under the assumption that she wanted to go outside, Airi moved closer, crawled on Toboe's bed, and opened the window.

Snow slipped underneath the pane before Airi had even lifted it the whole way up and moved down the roof slowly, and Airi suddenly regretted her decision to let her out. What if she fell?

"Snow, come back!" Airi called.

Snow glanced at her over her shoulder, and then moved forward again, jumping onto the nearest tree branch. Airi held her breath, but Snow only looked up at her again. Airi couldn't get over the feeling that Snow was trying to tell her something, but dismissed the idea quickly. Snow was just a cat.

With a flick of her tail, Snow jumped down the rest of the tree, landing solidly on her paws and then taking off across the lawn. Airi watched as Snow slipped through the slightly open gate and took off down the street.

Airi was frozen in place as Toboe's pet slipped away, unable to believe what had just happened. Snow was gone. Airi had allowed the last piece of Toboe to slip from her grasp. She hoped Snow would come back, but Airi knew that wasn't going to happen. Snow might have been her companion in Toboe's absence, but the pull between the cat and her master had urged the feline to make a break for it.

Airi hadn't been enough, and now she was searching. At least that's what Airi hoped. If Snow could find Toboe, at least he wouldn't be alone.

Maybe Hiro was right. Maybe Toboe had left. Everyone always left. Her father, Jiro, Toboe, and now Snow.

Airi closed the window.

* * *

><p><em>A.N. <em>Thanks to all who reviewed! You guys rule!


	11. Chance Encounter

_**Chapter 10: Chance Encounter**_

* * *

><p>In the days following the news broadcast, I slowly started to lose my sense of place and time.<p>

When I woke up that first day, after I'd literally cried myself into exhaustion in Hige's arms, I was too embarrassed and heartsick to say anything about what I'd heard. No one pushed me, although I did notice how Hige always seemed to be at my side, and if he wasn't, he was never too far away.

I didn't mind. I appreciated his presence and was slightly awed by the fact that he cared as much as he did, but he never received much of an outward reaction from me.

All three of them tried to get me to talk at least a few times. Even Tsume made awkward attempts at trying to start conversation. I didn't know what it was that made the older man fumble over himself whenever he was forced into speaking with me. Sometimes it was so terrible he'd bring up my siblings or Snow, and then he and Kiba would disappear for a while and Tsume wouldn't talk to me for hours on end.

I tried to forget what I'd heard and focused on helping Kiba, Hige, and Tsume with whatever it was that they were doing. Hige said that we were heading for a town called Solerno, and that it would take two or three days to get there. The prospect of that kind of travel hadn't appealed to my wary mind, but I hadn't protested.

We stopped a few times along the way, going into various bookstores and libraries, information offices and flower shops. I didn't know what it was about the places that made them want to visit one every time we passed a town or city, but I'd taken everything in stride.

But as time went on, I started to grow disinterested and started to distance myself.

I didn't notice anything was wrong at first, too consumed in my own thoughts to realize that things were starting to change. At one point, I realized that Tsume no longer tried to get me to talk, and all Kiba did was ask for my opinion on small things, like what I wanted to eat.

I was too tired to care or make an effort to fix things. Hige was the only one who didn't give up. Nothing about the way he handled me changed, and for that, I was grateful. I considered him to be the only stable thing in the situation I was in, and if he gave up on me, I didn't know what I would do.

I tried to be better, to force myself to not be so sad and useless, but it was a losing battle. It seemed that no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried to not think about it, everything reminded me of home.

I witnessed a street fight and thought of Airi and Kato, missing the way the two had hated one another and fought over the stupidest things. I saw a mom comforting a crying child and thought of my own mother, how distraught I knew she must have been. And as twisted as it may have been, whenever I caught a glimpse of myself, at the mark above my eye that had long turned into a scar, I missed Hiro.

But of course, the most painful longing I experienced was for Snow. Almost everything reminded me of her: cats, of course, anything white, cans of tuna in grocery stores, and every time I heard a bell or anything that sounded like a jingle, I turned.

Sometimes I would forget she wasn't with me and actually look around in a daze, but every other time was just out of reflex. But she was gone, and I was probably never going to see her again.

Hige and Kiba were adamant about making sure I didn't see any more news stories about my disappearance, and even though they never said it outright and tried to be subtle, I could tell what they were doing.

It never worked though, and on the rare occasion that I was left by myself, whether it was in a hotel room or in the car, I turned on the TV or the radio and sought out whatever information I could find.

So far, it had been two days since we'd left Cosenza, and I'd managed to see two different television broadcasts, and I'd been talked about four times on different radio stations. It had been pretty surreal, being the center of attention when I'd spent most of my life living in the shadows.

The police and media had interviewed a lot of the kids I'd gone to school with my entire life, and while I'd openly scorned those who tried to pretend we'd been friends when all they'd wanted was to make my life miserable, some of the things my classmates had to say rendered me speechless.

One interview I would probably remember until the day I died involved a girl in my grade named Ellie O'Derity. Ellie had been in my class every year since fifth grade. I remember the day I'd met her, the way she'd walked up to me, freckled face lit up in a brilliant smile that I hadn't understood and didn't to this day.

"I like your hair." She'd said cheerfully. "Red is my favorite color."

I hadn't corrected her like I did now whenever someone called my hair red. Maybe I would have if I hadn't been so shocked by the whole thing. I'd been an outcast at school since the day we'd grown old enough to form cliques, and Ellie had deliberately gone out of her way to speak with me that day.

Over the next couple years, she spoke to me numerous times, waved at me in the lunchroom and picked me as her partner for projects whenever the option was given to us.

Ellie had been the closest thing to a friend I had before Snow came into my life, and when I saw her on the television, I wouldn't have known it was the same girl if it hadn't been for the caption at the bottom of the screen.

Her cheerful disposition was gone, the happiness that always seemed to be present in her dark brown eyes nowhere to be found. Her black hair was pulled up in a ponytail, even though she'd been wearing it down every day since we were little kids. They were in the courtyard at the school, kids running around in the background trying to get in the way of the camera.

"Toboe was really nice." She'd said quietly, her gaze resting on the ground and not the camera. "He was quiet and didn't like to talk much. He was that boy that would sit in the back of the class and not answer questions, but when the teachers called on him he knew the answer to everything. I – I considered him a friend because I liked being around him, and when my mom told me he was missing, I didn't believe her."

She'd started to cry after that, and the interview ended as swiftly as it had begun. Short and simple.

I hadn't talked to Tsume, Kiba, or Hige for hours after it aired.

Another thing I'd learned was that the man heading my case, Quent Yaiden, had left Fairfield and was searching for me. I wouldn't have been worried about him finding us if it hadn't been for his dog Sasha. She was especially trained to search and find, to locate a trail and lead Quent to whatever it was that he was looking for.

I didn't know what day he'd left, and for all I knew, he was only a town away, ready and able to take me back home. I didn't want to admit it to anyone – not even myself – but I didn't know what I'd do if he did catch up to us.

Would I go willingly or fight tooth and nail to stay away? I knew for certain I would miss Hige, Tsume, and Kiba, and if we were caught they would be put in jail or worse.

One of the specials had announced that my disappearance had been declared a kidnapping. The police had visited Kiba, Tsume, and Hige's old apartment and asked to view security tapes from the night we'd left, and they'd seen us get in the car and drive away.

I didn't know how they could say I'd been forced into leaving when it was clear from the footage that I'd gotten in that car without resisting. I'd been furious and indignant about the whole thing, but I couldn't bring myself to tell the others what I'd seen since I wasn't supposed to be watching stuff like that anyway.

I knew they'd figured it out though, because they were always careful about going out in public now, opting to go places alone instead of together to avoid attracting attention.

I wondered how they must have felt, having their names and faces plastered all over the media and being blamed for kidnapping me. The guilt was only adding to the pain I felt, and sooner or later, I was going to crack under the pressure of it all.

To keep my oncoming depression and anxiety at bay, I read. I buried my face in the book about wolves I'd acquired from the woman who surely knew that I was the missing boy by now and focused solely on learning about the majestic creatures.

There were thirty-seven subspecies all-together, all distributed in certain places and habitats. Some lived mostly in tundra, while others lived in woods or deserts.

I wondered if I'd come into contact with wolf dogs at all in my lifetime. It didn't seem likely since most were too aggressive to be domesticated, even if they were part dog. Wolf instincts were strong, and I supposed it could take over even the calmest of dogs at one point or another.

That's what I was doing at dinner one night, reading my book while Tsume, Kiba, and Hige talked amongst themselves. I hadn't wanted to come in, too terrified that someone would recognize me and I'd be forced to make a decision I wasn't ready to make, but Hige had insisted and wouldn't take no for an answer.

I refused to eat though, not because I was just being stubborn, but I really wasn't hungry. I felt sick to my stomach, from the stress or something else I wasn't certain, but I knew that if I even tried to eat, I would throw up.

Hige just hadn't wanted to leave me in the car alone, so he didn't comment, and I didn't look for Tsume's reaction since he never said much anymore. But Kiba had regarded me with a reserved look of concern, and I'd hurried into the restaurant after Hige, uncomfortable under his ice blue stare.

"I miss having a bed." Hige said around a mouthful of fries, and while I was listening to their conversation, I never looked up. "I can sleep totally naked and not give a shit."

"I'm sorry being on the run is such an inconvenience to you." Tsume said irritably. "It must be terrible having to sleep with clothes on for once."

"I get hot at night." Hige replied as if it were the simplest thing in the world. "Excuse me for having peculiarities."

"Can you two not talk about this now?" Kiba said, voicing my own thoughts on the matter. "It's disgusting."

Hige laughed, and that particular conversation ended. I glanced up from my book as I heard bellowing laughter from across the room where three or four guys were buying shots at the bar, obviously drunk out of their minds.

That was the first time I'd ever been inside a bar, and I was surprised they'd even let me come in. But it seemed that everyone in the area was trying for a buzz except for us. The entire place could burn down and they probably wouldn't care.

"Kiba, when can I start to drink?" Hige said, almost sounding wistful as he eyed the same men I had.

I snorted just as Tsume did, and Hige nudged me in the side in retaliation before I went back to reading. Kiba sounded amused when he spoke next, if not perturbed by the sixteen-year-old's questioned. "Gotta wait until you're eighteen, Hige."

"Tsume was drinking when he was my age!" Hige protested. "That's not fair."

"Just don't get caught." Tsume said with a shrug.

Kiba threw the man an annoyed glance. "Don't tell him that. Like we really need a drunken teen on our hands."

"Hey, Toboe and I take offense to that. We wouldn't act like drunken assholes from one measly drink."

"Don't drag me into this." I sighed, closing the book and setting it down on the table in front of me. I couldn't concentrate on reading in there anyway. The scent of alcohol and cigarette smoke was making my head hurt. But it also made me think back to that night a little over a week ago that had changed my life forever.

Hige huffed, throwing one last glance at the men by the bar before turning his attention back to his food.

"Learn anything interesting about wolves?" Kiba asked me.

I shrugged, eyes on the cover of the book. "Just the different breeds and crossbreeds."

"Can you name a few off the top of your head?" Hige questioned.

"Umm, Gray, Arctic, Red, Iberian, Mexican." I stopped there. "There are so many I can hardly remember them all."

Hige nodded, looking quite pleased with my answer for reasons I didn't want to question. Tsume's eyes flickered over to Kiba for a heartbeat before moving on the one of the TV's on the wall. I wondered if he was looking for news about my disappearance just like I so often found myself doing.

"I'm gonna go to the restroom." Tsume said after a moment, getting to his feet. "We can leave when I get back."

"Who died and made you king?" Hige snorted with amusement apparent in his eyes, but that amusement turned into suspicion when a group of guys moved away from the bar and approached Tsume.

Four of them moved past him without issue, but the fifth bumped into Tsume. I would've passed of the incident had I not continued to watch, but my eyes widened slightly when I saw the man slip his hand into the pocket of Tsume's pants upon contact and slip out his wallet, tucking it safely into his own jeans. Tsume had just been pick pocketed.

I was about to say something when Hige kicked my shin under the table, shaking his head slightly. He was telling me to keep quiet, but I didn't know why.

"Whoa, I'm sorry, dude." The man slurred up at Tsume, probably a little too enthusiastically. It was obvious he was intoxicated, but not to the degree that he was portraying himself to be. When Airi was that drunk, she could hardly stand, let alone pickpocket someone. "Didn't see ya there."

Tsume only nodded curtly in response, watching the man go as he stumbled after his friends. I didn't know if Tsume had noticed what had just happened or not, and when neither Kiba nor Hige spoke up, I decided to.

"You gonna go after him or what?" I questioned.

Tsume glanced down at me, a look of approval flashing through his eyes for a second before it vanished, and he turned to Kiba. "You want to go put some thugs in their place with me?"

Kiba smirked, nodding. "Sounds fun."

"This I gotta see." Hige laughed, and we all got up from the table after Kiba managed to fish a twenty out of his pocket, since Tsume's money was otherwise engaged.

We walked out of the bar casually, and I could hear the men laughing from down the block. They thought they were home free. "You two stay here." Kiba said as he and Tsume started to move off. "We'll be back soon enough."

"Throw a punch or two for me!" Hige called after them with a wave, and then it was just the two of us.

"Shouldn't we stay here and wait?" I asked as Hige started to move down the sidewalk. Not wanting to be alone, I followed him.

"Nah, we'll be fine." Hige waved my worried question off, walking down the darkened streets without a care in the world. "Besides, if the police show up to stop the fight, we'll want to be far away when that happens."

I nodded, tightening the grip I had on my book. Hige's stride was strong and confident, but as we walked, unease began to take hold of me. Something didn't feel right.

I paused at the mouth of an alley, glancing over my shoulder when I heard a small snap. "Hige," I said slowly, "did you hear that?"

He turned, eyes filled with curiosity. "Hear what?"

"Well, looky what we have here."

I tensed, back still turned to the direction we'd just come from, but I could see the look on Hige's face. We were in trouble.

I spun around, feeling vulnerable when my back was turned, and stepped back a few paces, closer to Hige. It was the men Hige had been watching at the bar earlier, the ones he'd envied because they could drink and he couldn't. There were four of them in all, each one more intimidating than the last.

"We don't want any trouble." Hige said lowly, taking a hold of my arm. The line was cliché, but in that moment, it seemed to fit. "We're just looking for our brothers."

"What's the hurry?" One of the men said. "We was fixin' to have a little fun. Want to join us?"

"I don't think we want anything to do with any fun you guys will be having." Hige said, jerking me around so we could make a break for it in the opposite direction. But there was another guy behind us, one we hadn't heard approach. One of the pack of four moved to cut off our last exit, and with a sickening feeling, I realized we were trapped.

"The little one sure is cute." The same man slurred.

I stiffened, and Hige shoved me behind him, shielding me with his body. The men took a few steps forward, and Hige shuffled us back, further into the alley. We'd played right into their hands, and now we were trapped in an alley with nowhere to go. I could only pray that Kiba and Tsume would realize what was going on and come to our rescue.

"Take your sick urges somewhere else and leave us alone." Hige snarled as they advanced, some moving around as they started to circle us.

The whole thing seemed like a bad dream. It just wasn't happening. We'd only been walking down the street. Who would've guessed we'd be jumped by a group of drunken older men? Certainly not me.

I let out a startled cry that was abruptly cut short as I was grabbed from behind, a hand slapped over my mouth to cut off any sound. I dropped my book as I struggled to free myself, and I heard Hige's shout of rage as he made a move to free me.

I couldn't see exactly what happened after that, but I was able to watch for a few moments as one of the men body slammed Hige, throwing him back against the brick wall. Hige sidestepped a punch directed at his stomach, and I heard the crunch of bone as the man's hand punched the wall.

As he howled in pain, Hige pushed him into the side of a dumpster, raising a fist to deal a blow of his own. But one of the other drunken guys pulled Hige into a chokehold from behind, dragging the sixteen-year-old off of his friend.

Hige was practically hissing and spitting, and I wondered how Tsume and Kiba hadn't heard all the commotion yet. We were pretty far down the street though. What if they didn't find us until it was too late?

"Did you mongrels think we wouldn't know what you really were?" I flinched as the man holding me began to slur in my ear, the smell of his breath making my eyes water.

_What we really are? What does that mean? _The confusion I felt was quickly replaced by fear as the movement settled, and I got a good look at how grim our situation looked.

Saying I was scared was an understatement, but these men weren't armed and moved jerkily thanks to the alcohol. They'd only overwhelmed us because they had the advantage of numbers. Everything would be fine once Kiba and Tsume figured out what was going on, but in the mean time, I wasn't worried about myself.

I was worried about Hige.

His face was red from anger and lack of oxygen, and he clutched at the man's arm as he continued to constrict his airway, but I could see panic setting in, his breathing rapid and shallow.

"Let him go!" I tried to scream, but my words were muffled around the hand over my mouth.

"He looks like he's gonna cry." The man holding me barked, yanking me back a few more steps.

I started to struggle more, kicking and punching even though I was almost blind in the darkness. Hige did look a little out of it, and I feared he was running out of oxygen, but then something shifted in the sixteen-year-old.

He stopped struggling, his entire body going stiff as the men around us started laughing, taunting him, and even though I could hardly see, I swear I saw every movement as Hige's pupils dilated and he bared his teeth, smashing the back of his head into the man's face.

With a howl of pain, the man released Hige. I expected Hige to make a run for me since he'd been trying to get to me since we found ourselves in this mess, but instead, he dropped to his knees and clutched at his head, hunching over on the cold ground.

Seizing the opportunity, I jerked my head from side to side, my temper finally boiling over as I sunk my teeth into the hand covering my mouth. The coppery taste of blood splashed against my tongue, though I couldn't bring myself to care, and as soon as I was released I started to scream. "Kiba! Tsume!"

"You fucking brat!" The man roared, moving towards me again, still clutching at his now bleeding hand.

I danced away from him with a yelp, tripping over something in front of me and falling to the ground beside Hige. His entire body was trembling now, hands gripping at his hair so hard his fingers were turning white.

I crawled closer, ignoring the advancing men as I reached out to touch his shoulder. "Hige, what's wrong?"

He shook his head, a strangled moan escaping him. "They found me. They're gonna take me back."

I didn't know what he was talking about, and I was about to scream for Kiba and Tsume once more when I realized something. The men were gone. They'd completely disappeared.

But as I stared into the gloom I realized we weren't alone. Kiba came running from the entrance to the alley, Tsume close behind him. "What happened?" Kiba demanded as he fell to his knees before us, hands flying immediately to rest on Hige's shoulders.

"T – They jumped us." I stuttered, feeling hands slip underneath my armpits as Tsume pulled me to my feet. My legs were shaking pretty badly, and I had to lean against the older man for support. "They tried to choke Hige and he – "

Hige let out a pain-filled cry, interrupting my words and forcing me to take a startled step back. "We should've never come to this city." He panted harshly, eyes wide and unfocused as he stared at a spot on the ground by my feet. "She'll never leave me be, I'll always be her pet."

"Hige, it's okay." Kiba said calmly by his friend's side, though I could see the anxiety in his eyes. It seemed that whatever was going on with Hige wasn't a rare occurrence, and I was the only one in the dark. His next words were little above a whisper, and I had to strain to hear them. "Jaguara's gone, Hige, she can't hurt you anymore."

_Jaguara. What an odd name. _I felt a small pulse behind my eyes as Kiba spoke, and I screwed them shut as it grew and became more persistent as the dialogue kept flying around between the two.

"Take the damn collar off!" Hige shouted, his voice echoing throughout the alley. "She'll use it to track us, and then we'll all be dead." He froze, his body ceasing its trembling for a split second before it started again, even more violent than the first fit. "Dead. We'll all be dead."

"Get him out of here." Kiba snapped suddenly, hands tightening around Hige as he jerked his head in the direction of the street.

I didn't know what he was talking about until Tsume started to pull me away from the scene, and soon Hige's cries were nothing but echoes in the wind. The bar that had started the whole mess was still alight with the cries of drunken men and women, and I thought back to the ones who'd attacked us. What had happened to them?

"Are you alright?"

I glanced up at Tsume as he released the hold he had on my arms, stepping back to observe me critically. I nodded hesitantly, raising a shaking hand to thread my fingers through my hair. "My head hurts a little. But I'm fine."

Tsume nodded, crossing his arms over his chest as he glanced back to where we'd left Hige and Kiba. Hige had fallen silent, and I didn't know if that was a good thing or not.

"What happened?" I whispered.

Tsume glanced down at me, and I was surprised by the hesitation I saw in his eyes. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. With a small sigh, he tried again. "Hige was… abused as a kid. He won't say what happened but the signs are all there."

I gaped up at the older man in shock, unable to believe what I was hearing. Hige had been abused? It didn't seem likely, what with the way he acted on a daily basis. He was all smiles and jokes and always had a happy disposition even when the rest of us were practically drowning in the sadness around us.

I didn't want to believe that the Hige I knew had been hurt that badly, but as I thought back to what I'd seen I knew it must be true. "Who's Jaguara?" I questioned, and I felt that same pulse behind my eyes as soon as the word left my mouth.

"The woman that caused all this." Tsume growled, golden eyes flashing in anger. "She put a collar around his neck and treated him like a dog."

"So, Hige remembers things that she did to him when he doesn't want to?"

Tsume didn't say anything for a few moments, his eyes on the moon shining brightly above us. It was almost full. My school days told me it was a waxing gibbous. "Yeah." He said eventually. "Something like that." He returned his gaze to me once more. "Come on. We'll go get the car and pick them up. Hige won't be able to walk very far after an episode like that."

I nodded, following Tsume as we crossed the vacant street. My legs were still shaking and the realization that we'd just been attacked was finally starting to set in, but I wouldn't allow myself to freak out about it. I didn't have the right, not when Hige was stuck somewhere, lost in his memories.

Tsume led me to the almost vacant parking lot where'd we'd left the car earlier that night, and when I opened the door to get in the backseat, Tsume stopped me. "You might want to sit up front this time." He said. "It's damn near impossible to get Kiba away from Hige when he gets like that."

I nodded, shutting the door again and walking around the car to climb into the passenger seat. It was a first for me, though I could also say the same about being jumped in an alley. Tsume started the car but didn't pull out of the lot. "I thought you said you weren't hurt." He said in an accusatory manner.

I blinked up at him, realizing that I could still taste the blood on my lips. I reached up to wipe it off with the back of my hand, and then wiped that off on my jeans. "Oh, it's not mine. I bit the guy that was holding me."

Tsume stared at me for a moment before chuckling, finally putting the car in reverse and pulling out of the parking lot. I shifted in my seat and turned around, groping around blindly in the back for my backpack.

I didn't know how much space Kiba and Hige would need, if Hige was still under the impression that the Jaguara lady was still controlling him, but the least I could do was give them space. There was enough junk back there, what with the wrappers and empty soda cans. Hige wasn't the cleanest guy I'd ever met.

Hige and Kiba were already standing by the street when we drove up. Hige looked relatively normal, but I could see the tears still drying on his face. No one said a word as they got in the car, and as soon as Kiba shut the door, Tsume stepped on the gas and sped off.

After a few minutes of tense silence, it was Hige that spoke up. "Did you get your wallet?" His voice sounded hoarse and weak.

Tsume nodded, his grip on the steering wheel tight. "They gave it up without much of a fight. I don't think it was worth it, though. Nothing important was in there, I should've just let them be."

"And let the bastards get away?" Hige grumbled. "I don't think so."

"Look what happened because we chased after them." Tsume said harshly. I glanced out the window, trying to hold my tongue. It seemed rather cruel of Tsume to be so insensitive when it hadn't even been ten minutes since we were attacked. "You couldn't defend yourself or Toboe in that state."

"Lay off him." Kiba snapped in Hige's defense, since I was unwilling and Hige probably didn't have the strength to argue. "We won't make that mistake again. There's no use in talking about it. Just drive, Tsume."

Tsume huffed but fell silent, and Kiba leaned forward in his seat. "Here, Toboe. You dropped this."

I turned slightly, taking my book from him. I'd completely forgotten that I'd dropped it on the sidewalk when that guy had grabbed me, and now that I had it back, I realized how upset I would've been had I left it behind. "Thank you." I said, stuffing the book inside my backpack.

"Take care of it." Kiba said, sitting back in his seat and reaching over to put a hand on Hige's back. I could see them both clearly in the rearview mirror. Hige was trembling again, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his face buried within his hands. I couldn't tear my eyes away, and as I watched him unravel before my very eyes, I came to an unwanted realization. I wanted to go home. "It might be useful someday."

* * *

><p>Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth. The technique was supposed to calm someone down, tame the wild beast that was his or her racing heart, but while it sometimes worked for Kiba, it never did for Hige.<p>

He would rather hold his breath as long as he could until his oxygen deprived mind and heart would slow down enough that he couldn't process the emotions coursing through him. It helped, but not enough to keep the memories at bay.

Hige threaded his fingers through his hair, taking deep breaths even though he didn't want to. But with Kiba practically breathing down his neck he didn't really have a choice. "Keep going, Hige." Kiba encouraged from beside him. "You'll be fine."

Hige resisted the urge to yell at his friend, to tell him to back off and let him deal with this on his own, but he knew he couldn't. With a shaky sigh, he continued. "Jaguara's gone. My collar's gone. Blue is gone. Toboe is gone."

"No, Toboe's asleep in the front seat, Hige." Kiba corrected him, gesturing to the sleeping teen. Hige found it within himself to be glad that Toboe seemed fine in hindsight of the attack. He just wished he could say the same for himself. "Come on, keep trying."

"Kiba, I can't." Hige breathed, his eyes burning as he tried to fight back tears. "It's all mixed up."

"You'd feel better if you tried." Tsume said from behind the wheel.

Hige reached up and hit the back of Tsume's seat with a clenched fist, too exhausted to feel angry. "You try sorting through memories from a lifetime ago and decide how they were supposed to play out. Have you ever remembered meeting Kiba and him telling you that he'll follow you to the ends of the Earth and back, just to be with you? It's creepy."

"Blue told you that, not me." Kiba said slowly.

"Don't you think I know that?" Hige snapped quietly, eyeing Toboe as he shifted in the front seat. It seemed odd that through all the conversations like these that they had, Toboe was always asleep. Some part of Hige wished Toboe was really listening so they didn't have to hide things anymore. It was draining, and Hige was starting to feel the effects. "It was one of the last things she ever said to me." His voice was little above a whisper.

"What about in the alley?" Kiba continued as Hige let out a small groan, burying his face in his hands once more. The fog was starting to return. "What did you think was happening?"

"Jaguara's men found us. They tried to take Toboe and give him a collar, too."

"Not true. You were jumped in an alley." Kiba explained. "The men were nothing more than drunken strangers who had nothing better to do than frighten some kids. One of the men had you in a choke hold – "

"And the sensation reminded me of the collar." Hige finished with a sigh, the pounding in his head finally starting to retreat. "I blanked out, and I guess the rest is history."

Kiba shrugged, giving Hige what was intended to be a comforting smile. "More or less."

"Great, now that that's taken care of, let's talk about what just went down." Tsume said.

"I thought that was what we were doing." Hige said, wiping stray tears off his face with the heels of his palms. "Toboe heard those men coming long before I ever would have. I probably would've just thought it was my memories getting the better of me. What did you do with those guys anyway? I didn't even notice they were gone until Kiba calmed me down."

"We dropped in when Toboe was otherwise preoccupied with you and knocked them out." Tsume explained. "I wanted to put them out of their misery, but Kiba wouldn't let me, so we left them unconscious inside a dumpster."

"Classy." Hige commented, leaning back in his seat with a tired groan.

"But there was something about one of the guys that threw me off." Kiba said. "He had a bite mark on his hand. Well, I guess I wouldn't call it a bite mark since it was almost completely mangled. I'm assuming you did that, Hige."

Hige's eyes narrowed in thought, and he shook his head. He couldn't recall biting anybody. He had given one of those guys a head butt that would surely hurt come morning, but he refrained from biting anyone since he knew how much damage he could do. "No, I don't think that was me."

"Then what – "

"It was Toboe." Tsume said from the front seat, glancing over at the sleeping teen. "He told me he did it when we got to the car."

Hige and Kiba were silent, exchanging a shocked glance. "They were wolf teeth impressions, not human ones." Kiba said slowly. "If Toboe did it, that means his wolf side is growing tired of being pent up. His instincts are starting to show. You can see he's looking for his place within our group again. He's distancing himself."

"At least we know he's still a wolf somewhere inside." Hige said. "I was starting to worry it had been lost."

"Well, we know that's not the truth." Tsume argued. "There are others like him out there."

"And none of them have been fixed yet." Kiba finished, effectively silencing Tsume.

None of them liked to think that the Toboe they'd once known was lost to them forever, but the evidence and research was overwhelming. Everything pointed to Toboe never regaining his memories. But then again, the others like Toboe didn't have keys to their past lives that could help them. Their friend was lucky, but only time would tell if the added factors would be enough to fix him.

"Being around Toboe triggers things." Hige found himself saying. "I've been having attacks a lot lately."

Kiba turned to him, eyes wide with frustration and worry. "Why didn't you say anything?" He demanded.

Hige shrugged, glancing out the window. A cloud drifted over the moon, effectively obscuring it from view. It was almost full, and Hige couldn't wait for the full moon to arrive. It was the one time every month when he didn't have to worry about the memories and nightmares. He felt more in touch with who he had once been during that time than any other. "I didn't want you guys to worry. Certain gaps in my memories are starting to fill now that he's back and – "

"And more memories means more hallucinations." Tsume said with a small sigh.

"They're not hallucinations." Kiba said, mostly for Hige's peace of mind. "And he's getting better." Turning to Hige, he added, "You're getting better."

Hige didn't say a word, just eyed his friend sadly. He wasn't getting better, far from it. It was tiring, having to peel back every memory that came to him and try to sort out what had really happened. No matter how much he resented it, he had to rely on Tsume and Kiba to tell him the truth when he couldn't find it himself.

But the memories that Kiba and Tsume hadn't been around for were the worst. He'd lived eighteen years without them in his first life, and no one was around to fill those gaps for him.

Whenever he thought about his first mother, the only wolf he would ever consider to be his true mom, he pictured Cher. Maybe somewhere in his mind he did know what his mother had looked like, but she was categorized under a different name and face, and there was nothing he could do to fix it. He couldn't even remember how Jaguara had captured him anymore.

"It's like my whole life is a lie." Hige breathed, unable to keep his despair out of his tone.

"Hige, don't." Kiba said sternly. "You have a purpose here."

"And what purpose is that?" Hige asked, honestly wanting to know the answer. "Everyone keeps saying I'll get better, that I just need a lot of help, but that could take years and years, years of this bullshit that I've been dealing with since the day you found me."

"Not that I wish you hadn't found me." Hige added when Kiba opened his mouth to say something. "'Cause we both know that if it weren't for you, I'd be dead. But sometimes I can't help but think that even death would be better than this."

For once, Kiba didn't have anything encouraging to say. He turned away, probably too worked up to continue the conversation without yelling at Hige, and that wasn't something either of them wanted.

And as usual, whenever something like that happened between them, Tsume was the one to offer that small thread of hope they were searching for.

"That's why we're looking for Cheza, right?" Tsume's voice cut through the silence like a knife, and Hige jumped slightly when lightning flashed through the sky, thunder sounding soon after. A storm seemed fitting, Hige supposed. Their situation was just as chaotic. "Opening Paradise is the only chance we have left of being normal. That's why we ran, right? If it weren't for you two we probably wouldn't even be in this mess right now. But we are, and there's nothing we can do about it. We found Toboe and we're heading in the right direction, so just stop being so skeptical and focus on the big picture."

"He's right, Hige." Kiba said eventually, just as the first drop of rain landed on the windshield. "When we find Paradise, our problems will go away, and you won't have to worry about what's real and what isn't because it won't matter anymore."

Normally Hige would've just agreed in order to pacify Kiba and move on, but tonight he just couldn't. It would probably come to bite him in the ass later, but in that moment, he couldn't bring himself to care.

"Our problems will just go away?" Hige repeated, watching as the jagged lighting streaked across the sky, breaking the black abyss that he thought represented his own mind. "I don't think it's that easy, Kiba."

"If we have nothing to hope for then what the hell are we doing?" Tsume snapped as another round of thunder began to pick up. "Tell me if I should turn the car around now, take Toboe back, and continue our pathetic existence as the wolves from a lifetime ago that are nothing more than legends. Just say the word, guys, and everything can go back to how it used to be."

No one said anything, because no one had an answer. If everything was as hopeless as they thought it was, then why even bother to go any further? Best to turn back now before they were in too deep to get out. Hige was about to say so when something unexpected stopped him.

_"Don't give up."_

Hige gasped, Kiba stiffened, and the car swerved on the road a bit as Tsume struggled to keep a hold on the wheel. Even Toboe shifted in his sleep, mumbling something incoherent under his breath.

They'd all heard it, a call that they'd only heard once under completely different circumstances. But maybe this time wasn't as different as the first. Cheza had spoken to them almost a year ago when Hige, Kiba, and Tsume had lost all hope of ever finding Toboe and Blue and were going to give up on Paradise and their old lives altogether.

But here she was again, urging them to keep going when hope was hard to come by.

"She wants us to do this." Kiba whispered. "Isn't that reason enough?"

No one argued, for if the Flower Maiden herself was going out of her way to make sure they kept going, no respectable wolf would say no.

* * *

><p><em>A.N. <em>I gave you guys more insight into Hige's "condition" in this chapter. Once again, thank you for your reviews and support. I couldn't do it without you guys!


	12. Wheels in Motion

_**Chapter 11: Wheels in Motion**_

* * *

><p>"You're a hazard to society."<p>

"Well, you're a crazy bitch."

"That's your response to everything I say, asshole. Hand it over."

Kato glared at Airi over his shoulder, muscles tense and agitation written clearly on his face as his sister glared him down, hand outstretched for the stapler he was currently holding.

"Why did you even come along?" He snapped, turning his back on her to continue stapling the flyer on the wooden post. "You're the one that let the thing escape in the first place."

Airi didn't say a word, because Kato was right. The picture of the white feline currently staring her down was enough to make Airi's stomach hurt, and not for the first time, Airi regretted allowing Snow to leave the house.

She had come right out and said it after it happened, and her mom had burst into tears when she realized, just as Airi had, that the last piece of their missing brother was gone, maybe lost forever.

Her mother hadn't had the heart to ground her, instead locking herself in her room. Kato had sprung into action immediately, gathering supplies and heading out to post flyers he'd made with Snow's picture bright and early that morning.

Airi had tagged along mostly out of boredom. She'd been awake the whole night, sitting in her room, staring out the window as a storm raged violently outside. She'd been worried for Snow, of course, but mostly she'd just been lost in her own memories.

Toboe used to be terrified of storms, and when he was younger, it had been Airi's room he'd flee to in the middle of the night. She'd always let him stay, sometimes too exhausted to complain and others touched that her brother had gone to her and not their mother.

That hadn't happened since Airi yelled at him for it when he was nine. She remembered the night clearly, the tears in his brown eyes as she shouted at him to leave her be, her voice almost drowned out by the booming thunder. Their mother hadn't heard, and Toboe never spoke up about it.

Just thinking about it had bile rising in the back of Airi's throat.

She shook her head, clearing herself of those thoughts and glancing behind her, taking in the sullen expression of her other brother. Dragging Hiro out of bed that morning had been harder than Airi had imagined, but with Kato's help, they'd managed to make him presentable and dragged him with them on Kato's mission to find Toboe's cat.

Hiro had really needed to get out. Watching her brother waste away wasn't as appealing as Airi had thought it would be. Hiro hadn't spoken at all, and Airi was starting to forget he was there. If it weren't for Kato, Hiro probably would've been abandoned by now.

"If the rain comes back, those flyers will be useless, Kato." Airi said gruffly, tilting her head skyward. The air was thick, the scent of rain hovering over the city like a fog. Airi wanted to get back home as soon as possible. She hated getting wet.

"Why don't you just take Hiro and go home?" Kato said with a sigh, turning to face her with a resigned expression on his face. "You're seriously pissing me off."

"You want us to leave you alone so you can get taken, too?" Airi shot back almost instantly, not caring how damaging her words might have been to Kato and his twin, who, despite his lack of words, was listening to every word.

Kato's blue eyes narrowed, and a look resembling disgust crossed his face. "Whatever. Come on."

He turned and stalked down the sidewalk, Airi and Hiro trailing unhappily behind him. Their misery was the only thing the two of them had in common now. With Kato taking charge around the house, there wasn't much they could do except sulk and worry.

But Airi would never say so. To everyone around she was just as dark and irritable as always.

As Kato continued to staple the missing pet flyers on street corners, Airi observed the surrounding area. This was only the second time she'd left the house since she'd returned from the police station. Her adventure with Olivia had been well worth it since she might have figured out how her brother had been taken, but being out in public was starting to become increasingly obnoxious.

The looks they were receiving were a mixture of sympathy, anger, and suspicion. Airi wasn't stupid. She was well aware that some of the citizens of their town blamed them for Toboe's disappearance. Some thought they even had something to do with it. It wasn't a secret that Toboe had been picked on. Their lives had been put on display long before the media started to camp out in their yard.

Already she could see the looks from the passersby across the street, and she assessed them critically. Two women, whispering quietly to one another, eyes on the three siblings. They obviously blamed them.

"Maybe we should just go home." Hiro said from beside her, eyes on the same women Airi was currently glaring at.

She shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest in a futile attempt to keep herself warm. "Fuck them. I'm not going to stay at home because I'm afraid of people who don't know anything about what happened."

Hiro rolled his eyes, a familiar gesture that provided Airi with a small sense of normalcy. It wouldn't last, though. "They know about as much as we do."

"Just ignore them." Kato advised, not even bothering to glance back at them or at the women. "Don't start a fight you can't win."

"I wouldn't try to if they would stay out of my business." Airi grumbled, reaching up to scratch the back of her neck to keep herself from flipping the women off.

Hiro chuckled, turning his head slightly and raising a hand to the two onlookers in greeting. They jumped as if they hadn't realized they'd been caught and shuffled down the street quickly. "There." He said brightly, and Airi couldn't help but stare. Was Hiro just putting on an act or was he really starting to feel better? "All taken care of."

"See, there are always better ways to deal with situations than flipping someone off, Sis." Kato said, eyeing Hiro in the same manner Airi had.

"Shut up and keep putting up the flyers." Airi said irritably, spinning around quickly so her hair slapped Hiro in the face. He hadn't deserved it, but he was closest to her, so there.

The three lapsed into silence, and at some point during their journey through town, they ran into a group of Kato and Hiro's friends from school. Airi saw them coming long before Hiro and Kato had, and she resisted the urge to flee. She'd never liked her brothers' friends. She never knew just what they about her, and some part of her didn't want to find out.

There were four of them, only one of which she recognized, although she couldn't remember his name. Not that she wanted to. They were probably all potheads anyway.

"Kato!" One of them called out. "Hiro! What are you guys doing out of the house?"

"Being a hazard to society." Kato said dryly, glancing over at Airi. Airi glared at him. _Don't you dare bring me into this, you bastard. _"What's up?"

"We were on our way to Jerry's to get some candy." The same boy chuckled, and his companions nodded enthusiastically, moving ever closer. "Wanna join us?"

Airi watched them through narrowed eyes, waiting for Kato and Hiro's reaction. Jerry's wasn't a candy store, but a convenient store where the high school boys went for their drugs. It was an underground scene. Airi had never been there and didn't know who thought it was a good idea to sell the stuff to stupid teenage boys.

She smoked and drank, but the other stuff was unexplored territory, and she didn't plan on going there anytime in the future. Let Kato and Hiro get picked up for weed possession. She was staying away.

Hiro shifted awkwardly, stuffing his hands inside his pockets and averting his gaze from his friends. "Our sister's with us, man."

Airi elbowed Hiro hard in the side, not even trying to be subtle.

One of the other boys snorted. "What about her?"

"Yeah, she can come, too." The one who initially spoke added.

"Yeah, thanks, but no thanks." Airi said snidely, crossing her arms over her chest. "My brothers and I will be staying well away from Jerry's."

"Whoa, someone's getting feisty." The dark haired boy – Airi finally remembered his name was Damien – laughed. "You don't have to come if you don't want to, Airi. No one's forcing you."

Airi rolled her eyes, taking a hold of Hiro's jacket. "Can we leave?"

"Hold on." Kato said, waving his hand dismissively. "We have to finish putting up these flyers first."

"What are they of?" Damien asked, taking one from Kato. "Oh, dude, your cat's missing?"

"She wasn't our cat." Hiro said, shaking off the hold Airi had on his sleeve.

Airi huffed as Hiro moved forward to stand beside Kato, informing their friends about the Snow situation and answering their questions about Toboe. Airi felt extremely awkward as she stood there, alone on the sidewalk while the boys made a group of their own.

She raised a hand to her mouth, biting at one of her nails anxiously. It was a nervous tick she'd had all her life. Her nails were nothing but stubs at that point, with chipped black fingernail polish that never stayed perfect for long.

Just as she was about to snap at her brothers for taking too long, something caught Airi's eye. A flash of white appeared out of the corner of her vision, and she stiffened in disbelief. She turned her head to watch as the tip of a white tail disappeared around the street corner.

Airi glanced back at her brothers and their friends, wondering if they would notice if she slipped away. She took a few steps back, inching toward the street corner, and when none of them turned, she spun around and raced after the animal. But when she rounded the corner, her heart sank when she realized it wasn't Snow. It wasn't even a cat, but a dog.

The dog was walking down the street, away from Airi, but when she stopped walking the dog turned, green eyes fixated on her. Airi stood her ground, unsure if the dog was friendly or not.

Eventually, the dog's tail wagged and it turned fully, bounding over to where Airi stood. She breathed a sigh of relief and crouched down despite herself, running her fingers through the dog's stark white fur. The animal whined, pressing closer to Airi.

The blue-eyed girl smiled. "What are you doing out here, boy?"

The creature yipped, pawing at Airi's knee restlessly, its tongue hanging out of the side of its mouth.

"Jade!"

Both Airi and the dog stiffened as a voice sounded, and Airi glanced up. A man was standing no more than five feet away from her. He looked older than she was, with black hair and hazel eyes.

The dog detached itself from Airi instantly, trotting over to the man's side and sitting down obediently. Airi blinked, slowly shifting into a standing position, eyes warily regarding the newcomer. He seemed to be assessing her as well, one hand scratching the tip of his dog's head while the other made its home inside the pocket of his jacket.

"You're that girl, aren't you?" He asked suddenly. "The one whose brother is missing?"

Airi tensed, instantly on alert. Normally people didn't approach the subject of Toboe with her so directly. There was always some hesitance, but not this time. "And what if I am?"

"I'm sorry that happened to your family." He said sincerely. "It must be hard to lose a brother."

She stared at him, unwilling to answer his questions but too intrigued to leave. There was something about the guy that had her on edge. He looked familiar, somehow, but she swore she'd never seen him before in her life.

"Do you have any dogs?"

Airi blinked. "What?"

"Do you have any dogs?" The man repeated. "Jade here seems to have taken a liking to you. I just wondered if you had the scent of dog on you."

_What, the dog can't like me without a stupid scent? _"No. I – I had a cat, though."

The man nodded, looking thoughtful. As the silence wore on, Airi shifted uncomfortably, suddenly desperate to get away from this man and his calculating stare.

"Was there something you needed or are you just going to stand there all day?" Airi snapped.

The man blinked, and Jade tipped her head to the side slightly. Just as Airi was about to turn around and go back to Hiro and Kato, the man began to laugh. "You amuse me." He chuckled, digging around in his pocket for a second before pulling out a white card. "Here, take this. Call the number if you have any questions."

Despite her feelings of unease, Airi reached out and took the card without question, stuffing it into the pocket of her jeans. "Who are you?" She found herself asking.

The man grinned, flashing brilliantly white teeth. "The name's Dante."

Airi opened her mouth to comment but was cut off. "Airi!"

Kato appeared seemingly out of nowhere, taking hold of Airi's arm and yanking her away from Dante and Jade. Airi stifled a shout of surprise as she was shoved behind her brother, who looked about ready to tear the man before him apart.

"Who the hell are you, and why are you talking to my sister?" Kato barked, still clutching Airi's arm in a death grip.

Dante smiled, shaking his head slightly. "No one of importance. I was looking for my dog and your sister found her for me. I was just giving her my thanks."

Kato's blue eyes shifted from Dante to his dog before settling on the man once more. "Well, you've thanked her."

Dante said nothing more, only nodded before turning to walk off, snapping his fingers to get Jade to follow. Airi stayed perfectly still behind her brother as she watched the man and his dog walk away, and neither of them moved until the two were out of sight.

"What were you thinking?" Kato demanded, spinning around to fix Airi with a death glare.

She blinked, then frowned, ripping her arm out of her brother's grasp. "I thought his dog was Snow so I followed her."

"Don't ever do that again!" Kato snapped, his eyes blazing with an emotion Airi couldn't place. "He could've taken you if he wanted to."

"Well, he didn't." Airi said coolly, pulling the sleeves of her jacket down over her hands and stuffing them underneath her armpits in an attempt to get warm. The weight of the card Dante had given her was suddenly in the forefront of her mind, and she was curious as to what it said. "Can we go home now, or are you and Hiro still haggling for drugs? Where is he anyway?"

"He stayed with the guys while I came to find you." Kato said, his voice still filled with anger. "We didn't know where you went, Airi."

"Well, I'm here, I'm safe, can we just go home?" Airi groaned, turning away from Kato to walk back the way she'd come. "I'm tired."

Kato sighed, brushing past Airi to lead the way back to the others. When she was certain her brother wasn't looking, she pulled the card Dante had given her out of her pocket.

All it had was a phone number on the front, and the letters '_WRA' _writtenin big, bold letters above it. Airi was puzzled, but stuck the card back in her pocket as Hiro and his friends came into view. Her brother turned as they approached, his face pale, and the look of relief that crossed his face when his gaze settled on Airi made guilt settle low in her stomach. She never thought it was possible, but her brothers had been worried about her.

In hindsight, she felt terrible for making them worry. With Toboe already having been abducted, it made sense that they'd be on high alert. Airi guessed she should have been, too. Sometimes she forgot that she was only sixteen, and Hiro and Kato were her superiors in a sense. With Toboe gone, she was now the youngest.

In that moment, Airi felt her chest constrict, and her eyes began to water. She wanted Toboe to come back. She missed how things had been, and this new lifestyle wasn't cutting it. This was how Kato and Hiro should've treated Toboe.

Her brothers said goodbye to their friends, and the three siblings left for home, the rest of the flyers forgotten. As they walked down the street, Airi reached out hesitantly and grasped Kato's hand in a silent apology.

No words could even begin to describe the relief she felt when he didn't pull away, and instead squeezed her hand in response. She was forgiven.

* * *

><p>It was kind of funny how much things could change in such a short amount of time.<p>

I mean, aside from the obvious difference in my surroundings, everything that I'd come to think of as normal in my current situation was beginning to change.

Take Hige for example. We'd only been attacked less than twenty-four hours ago, but already I noticed the difference in my friend's attitude.

He had hardly spoken at all since I'd woken up in the car earlier that morning. Our ordeal had shaken him, of that I was certain, but his sullen attitude was starting to get to me.

I tried not to dwell on it, because now that I knew a bit about what had happened with Hige in his past, I really had no room to judge anything he did. I didn't know the extent to the abuse he had suffered, but I could relate in a way. The mistreatment I'd suffered at the hands of my siblings for years would always be with me, but I hardly called that abuse. There were worse things out there to suffer from, and I had a prime example sitting in front of me.

A part of me remained on high alert all day, waiting for Hige to snap and go into another state similar to the one he'd been in the other night. It was unjustified, and I felt terrible for being so jumpy around him, but I couldn't help it.

Another thing I found odd was Kiba's behavior. He never left Hige's side, not even for an instant. I didn't know how Hige felt about the hovering, but he never complained.

I hadn't known the true depth to their relationship until I saw the way Kiba handled Hige in the wake of an attack like that. He spoke to him in gentle tones, didn't push him to go anywhere if he refused to leave the car when we stopped, even staying with him while I went with Tsume to ask for directions or get something to eat.

We finally reached Solerno around noon, and just like in every city we'd stopped in, we rented a hotel room. Kiba had told the man at the desk he didn't know how long we'd be staying, and that had made me a little uneasy. If we stayed too long, I'd be found.

But ever since the previous night, when I'd come to the conclusion that I kind of wanted to go home, the idea hadn't sounded so terrible.

Tsume and I toured around the city while Kiba stayed behind with Hige. Solerno appeared to be a nice town, with clean air and green grass that reminded me of Cosenza.

I'd come to realize that I actually liked being with Tsume. He didn't speak much aside from an occasional comment, but being around him was calming in contrast to Hige and Kiba's behavior. It seemed familiar, though I didn't know why. We went back to the hotel after a couple hours of aimless wandering, and we hadn't done anything since.

I was reading my book, as per usual, and had been for a few hours. Hige was laying on his back on one of the beds, staring up at the ceiling like it was the television. Tsume was on the other bed, eyes closed, probably relaxing after our day of wandering, and Kiba was sitting on the floor, back against the wall as he tapped the screen of his cell phone with his finger.

I hadn't known that Kiba even had a phone until he'd pulled it out a few minutes ago. He said he was going to research the town, look for good places to eat and libraries and whatnot.

I didn't know what it was about libraries that had them all so interested. Not that I was complaining. I liked the quiet libraries insisted on maintaining. It was a good place to think, and boy did I ever need a place to sort out my thoughts.

As I read, I came across something interesting on one of the pages. The section of the book had been titled _Wolves of Legend_. The heading had intrigued me, because I'd wondered about what that woman had told me at Kindlewood Books, about how wolves would be able to sense when the world was coming to an end. I crisscrossed my legs on the chair I was sitting in, not caring if my shoes got the fabric dirty, and began to read.

_Ancient mythology suggests that wolves are not only rare, but also spiritual beings. Theories and legends state that wolves have the ability to appear human._

I paused, staring at the paragraph in shock. Wolves could appear human? How was that even possible? Why didn't they teach us that in school? It seemed kind of important to me, if wolves could be living right underneath our noses.

_Most wolves-turned-human take on their natural characteristics, like fur and eye color, though some have different appearances while changing species. Wolves that live in human society blend in quite well, though there are some signs that mark a human as a wolf in disguise._

_Wolves as humans have the ability to heal at extraordinary rates. For example: a broken arm, which would take a human weeks to recover from, would heal in only a few short days for a wolf._

"So, what do you want to know, Toboe?"

I glanced up as Hige spoke from across the room, momentarily forgetting about the strange fact about wolves that I had discovered. He was still lying on the bed, focusing intently on the ceiling.

Kiba and Tsume exchanged a look, worry settling in their eyes before it vanished. For a moment, I wondered if I'd imagined him speaking, but I knew that wasn't the case. "What do you mean?"

"You must have questions about what happened last night." Hige said, letting out a soft breath that I guessed was supposed to be a laugh. "I sure as hell would."

He was right. I did have questions. Who had Jaguara been to Hige? What had she done to him? How had he escaped? But it wasn't my place to ask. It was Hige's business, and I knew I wouldn't want to talk about a past as dramatic as the one I was sure Hige had.

"It's none of my business." I replied, turning back to my book once more. "I'll live without knowing."

Nothing was said for some time, and when I lifted my head again, Hige was looking at me. His eyes were filled with curiosity and… happiness? "Dude, is your voice getting deeper?"

I paused, thrown by the question. I opened my mouth to say something, to test his theory, but nothing would come out. The looks I was receiving from the others were unsettling to say the least. Tsume was no longer looking at me, while Kiba and Hige just had these _grins _on their faces.

I couldn't help but smile back. "Yeah, I think so." I replied slowly, and sure enough, there was a timbre to my voice that hadn't been there a few days ago. My sixteenth birthday was in a month, and now I had something to show for it.

The mood in the room instantly sobered when a ringing sound came from the cell phone in Kiba's hands. He looked startled, blue eyes widening as he stared at the phone. Then suddenly, he threw it to the ground, staring at the thing like it had bitten him.

Tsume reacted instantly, getting up off the bed and bending over to pick up the phone. Hige scrambled into a sitting position and then got up, moving over to slide down the wall next to Kiba. The blue-eyed man's posture was stiff, his jaw trembling from the force with which he was clenching his teeth. I stared at the two in surprise before shifting my gaze back to Tsume.

"What do you want?" Tsume demanded into the phone, a certain aggression to his voice that I'd heard only once, back when he'd seen me for the first time.

There was a pause, during which Tsume glanced over at Kiba and Hige. "Kiba's busy. Now what do you want?" Another pause. "We did what needed to be done, Dante. Wasn't that our mission from the very beginning?"

I closed my book, curiosity beginning to settle in. Who was Dante, and why had everyone gone on high alert when he called? It was obvious something was bothering Kiba, who was staring at Tsume as Hige whispered something in his ear that I couldn't quite catch.

"Look, if you just called to ride my ass about – " Tsume trailed off, glancing over at me. "About _that_, then can I just save myself the trouble and hang up on you now?"

Despite myself, my eyebrow rose in question, and my eyes narrowed. It had been on my mind a lot lately, how sometimes Kiba, Tsume, and Hige stumbled over themselves when they talked, like there was something they were trying to hide. I wasn't ignorant, and I didn't know how long I was going to be able to pretend that I didn't suspect anything. Something was going on that they were trying to keep from me, of that much I was certain.

In that moment, I made a promise to myself that I was going to find out the truth, no matter what it took.

"_What_?" Tsume said sharply, his grip on the phone tightening. "Why the hell would you do that?"

Kiba seemed to be listening intently, eyes narrowed as he stared at the carpet. Then suddenly, something shifted in his demeanor. His jaw stopped trembling and the angry look in his eyes disappeared. I hardly saw him move, and before any of us knew it, Kiba was across the room and taking the phone from Tsume.

"Tell me everything." Kiba said, walking across the room and out the door, slamming it shut behind him.

I watched the door quietly as I listened to Kiba's retreating footsteps, and no one said a word until Hige stood up from his spot on the floor. "Well, Boss is back." He commented dryly, moving back to flop down on the bed once more.

Tsume didn't say anything, his eyes taking on a faraway look as he sat down on the bed opposite Hige.

"Who's Dante?" I asked. I wanted answers, so this was going to be my first.

When Tsume didn't reply, Hige rolled over onto his side, tucking his hands underneath his head with a small sigh. "Kiba's brother."

* * *

><p>Kiba didn't return to the room after he hung up on Dante. He stayed outside the hotel, leaning against the concrete wall as he tried to collect his thoughts. He was irritated that he'd allowed himself to get so angry when Dante's name had appeared on his cell phone, but it wasn't something he had complete control over yet.<p>

While Tsume had talked to him, all Kiba could think about was that Tsume was taking control when it wasn't his duty to do so. Kiba was the pack leader in wolf standards, and Dante would never forget it if Kiba allowed someone else to take the lead for even an instant.

So, he'd pushed aside his anger and took control of the situation, making sure to get all the information out of his brother before hanging up on him unceremoniously. It had offered him some satisfaction, but nowhere near enough to make the anger leave him completely. _One, two, three, four. _Thus the counting.

The information he'd gotten out of Dante changed everything, and not for the first time, he wished things were simpler. Perhaps trying to salvage their old lives hadn't been the best idea.

"What did Pretty Boy say?"

Kiba didn't move as Tsume appeared, standing beside him against the wall. "He said we were stupid for handling the Toboe situation the way we did." Kiba said with a small sigh. "They're having problems with the rounds now with all the police hanging about."

"Yeah, he said the same thing to me before you snatched the phone away." Tsume commented nonchalantly, crossing his arms over his chest. "I wasn't expecting that one."

Kiba pushed himself off the wall, turning to fix Tsume with a hard glare. "I'm the leader."

Golden eyes regarded blue ones calmly. "I know."

"I have to handle certain matters."

"Not alone." Tsume said with a shrug. "Everyone knows you're the boss, Kiba, you don't have to keep proving yourself."

"I _know_ that, I just – " Kiba trailed off, already knowing where this conversation was headed. He decided to change the subject while he still had the chance. "Dante said he ran into Toboe's sister this morning."

Tsume raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

Kiba nodded, frustrated with what he was about to say. "He was taking Jade out for the first time. They got separated for a few minutes, and Jade found her way to Airi." He paused, trying to collect his thoughts. "Dante said that Airi's most likely a wolf."

Kiba waited for Tsume's reaction, for him to come to the same conclusion that Kiba himself had only a few minutes ago. "He gave her the card." Kiba continued with a roll of his eyes. "I don't know why. She's not stable enough to handle that kind of information."

"Wait a second." Tsume said. "Airi's a wolf?"

"Most likely." Kiba corrected him. "Jade told him that she found her way to Airi because of her scent. She started to leave when she realized it wasn't Dante, but Airi followed her." He paused. "But… because of her appearance and her relation to Toboe, Dante thinks that Airi might be…. might be Blue."

Tsume stiffened, eyes filled with disbelief. "If she is, I might just have to separate from the group."

"Tsume, this is serious." Kiba growled. "If Airi really is Blue then we left her behind. We'll have to go back at some point to get her."

"There's no way I'm heading back to Fairfield just to see if Toboe's sister is Blue." Tsume retorted. "If she's not then everything we've done will have been for nothing."

"Dante said not to come back until they were certain." Kiba said, and the words left a bad taste in his mouth.

He hated listening to his brother. Even the word "brother" was said loosely, for Kiba would never fully consider the man his kin. Tsume, Hige, Toboe, Blue, and Cheza were been the only ones he would ever dare call family, and it was going to stay that way.

Even if he and Dante had been in the same litter, the two had never been close. Their parents had told them once that even before they'd opened their eyes, they fought one another, whether it be for milk or the warmest spot next to their mother.

"He said he talked to the others and they want us to stay here in Solerno until further notice." Kiba continued.

"They can't be serious." Tsume said with a snort. "Staying here could be hazardous to us. They'll find Toboe eventually if we do."

"We'll just have to be careful." Kiba replied, shifting his gaze to the moon. It was almost full, but not quite. Kiba couldn't wait until it was. There was a park in the heart of town, so he made a note to take Hige and Tsume out running. Maybe there would be enough trees to conceal them if they decided to run around as wolves. Someone would have to stay behind to watch Toboe, though.

"We can't tell Hige." Tsume said lowly. "You know that, right?

Kiba turned his gaze to the golden-eyed man, annoyed. "Of course I know. Telling him now would be more dangerous than one of his attacks. He'd insist we go back to Fairfield and run off without us if we said no. Now, let's go back inside before Hige and Toboe start to worry."

Tsume chuckled, nodding. "Whatever you say, boss."

As Tsume turned to go, Kiba reached out, tugging on the man's sleeve before letting go. "Don't call me that." He said without looking at Tsume. "I know I said I'm the leader, but it's just because of – "

"Dante, your parents, the _WRA_, I _know_, Kiba." Tsume interrupted him, waving a hand dismissively. "I know how you feel about it, I was just giving you a hard time."

"It's not fun, being in charge." Kiba said lowly, stuffing his hands in his pockets, suddenly exhausted.

"How do you think I felt before I met you guys?" Tsume said, and Kiba knew he was referring to their first life. Tsume had rivaled Kiba in the "loner" category. Even if his gang had surrounded him before they'd left, he'd distanced himself from them, never getting too close. Kiba couldn't imagine how tiring it must have been. Tsume was his right-hand man, and he didn't know what he'd do without him. "Just because you're a wolf doesn't mean you have to behave like one all the time. Don't let your instincts control you. Don't let _anyone_ control you, for that matter."

With that, Tsume turned to walk away, disappearing back inside the hotel, leaving Kiba alone. The dark-haired man sighed, reaching up to rub one of his eyes restlessly. Tsume really didn't know what he was talking about. Ignoring your instincts was impossible, or at least it was for Kiba.

Like the woman had explained to Toboe in the bookstore: wolves lived in packs and had a hierarchy much like humans sometimes did. It was only natural for them to form that kind of family, no matter how much Kiba resented it.

He didn't like feeling more important than someone else, especially when it came to Tsume, Hige, and Toboe, and eventually Blue, if they ever found her. They'd all had a part to play when it came to that final battle against Darcia. If anything, Kiba was the one who had failed.

He hated his title as The Chosen One. He accepted it, lived with the knowledge of who he was and had once been, but it didn't make it any easier. He was proud to be a wolf, always had been and always would be, but his values had changed. Dante had pointed it out more than once.

But it didn't matter how Kiba felt, because in the end, being a wolf was all he knew. And if one considered his current record, compared to everything else he'd done – like saving the world, for example – being a wolf was what he did best.

* * *

><p><em>A.N. <em>Next chapter, there is going to be a time skip, a month I believe. I hate doing that, but it's necessary, and hopefully I won't have to do it again. Thank you to all who reviewed, alerted, and favorite this story! I never expected this kind of feedback. I applaud you all for exceeding my expectations!


	13. Wolf's Rain

_**Chapter 12: Wolf's Rain**_

* * *

><p>I didn't tell anyone about my birthday.<p>

I'd thought about it when I woke up that morning, but compared to everything else going on, it had seemed unimportant. I hadn't felt any different, no older than I'd been the previous month, so I just shrugged it off and went on with my day.

We were still in Solerno, and as far as I knew, there were no plans to leave anytime soon. I didn't know why the others had decided to make a permanent residence here – at least for a little while – but I'd learned by now that most of my questions were going to remain unanswered.

It had been about a month since the day Kiba's brother had called. I remembered how shocked I'd been when I realized that Kiba even had a brother. I knew they'd had families at one point of course, but I thought they were out of the picture since Kiba, Hige, and Tsume lived on their own.

At first I'd been kind of bitter about it. Kiba could contact his brother whenever he wanted while I couldn't even let my family know I was alive. But I'd gotten over it, and by now it was just a dull ache, a distant thought I hardly visited. I didn't care anymore, which seemed to be a regular occurrence as of late.

There was one thing about myself that had changed in the past month or so. I felt sad – more so than I could ever remember being – no longer clinging to the optimism that had helped me through my years with my family. Whether it was a sign of age or something completely unrelated, I wasn't sure, though I did know of a couple factors that had surely put me in my current state.

Curious as to how my hometown would react to not having found me by the time my birthday came around, I'd turned on the television in the hotel we'd been staying at while Kiba, Hige, and Tsume were still asleep, and watched the news.

A heavy feeling had settled in my stomach as I'd watched, unblinking, as dozens of my neighbors gathered around a street corner with candles. My picture had been at the heart of the vigil, surrounded by flowers and other things that I could hardly see in the gloom of the night as everyone I'd known most of my life mourned my supposed loss.

It was a prerecorded video. The vigil itself had taken place promptly at midnight, and it was a weird feeling, knowing that while I was asleep in Solerno, everyone back home was up and standing around my picture. The grief I'd seen made me feel guilty, for their worry was undeserved. If only they'd known the truth.

My mother had been present. I didn't wake up Kiba and demand they take me back like I thought I would've after seeing my mother's face, but I'd been immobilized. My mother had always looked old for her age, the stress of life hitting her harder than most would assume, but the look that had been present on her face took my breath away.

The raw pain I saw there was nearly unbearable. My mother had looked exhausted, blue eyes red-rimmed and dull as she stood in the crowd. She looked like she didn't want to be there, and I didn't really blame her.

I hadn't expected to see my siblings there at all. Kato and Hiro hadn't been – or at least I didn't see them – but I did manage to catch a glimpse of Airi before the commercials rolled in. My sister had been standing erect beside our mom, a candle grasped so tightly in her hand, her knuckles turned white.

That had been the only sign of my sister's distress. She never displayed emotion in front of others.

After I'd caught that fleeting glimpse of Airi, the TV had turned off. I'd jumped, because I hadn't done it, but then I noticed that Tsume was up, his thumb still pressing the power button on the remote. Neither of us had spoken, and I went back to sleep soon after.

I really hoped he hadn't realized the whole event was because of my birthday. I wasn't up for a celebration, nor did I really deserve it.

By the time dawn rolled around, everyone was awake. Tsume didn't say anything about earlier that morning, didn't wish me happy birthday, didn't scold me for exposing myself to that, nothing. I was so grateful, too. A scolding wasn't something I could handle, and all I really wanted was to be left alone.

Another thing that factored in to the difference in my mood was the disappearance of my best friend. It had never been announced on the news officially, but during one of the TV broadcasts where they'd talked to the police, I'd seen a flyer on one of the telephone poles.

Snow was gone. Lost. Missing, just like her owner. I didn't want to believe it at first, and it took a full day of contemplation and silence until realization sank in, and I burst into pathetic sobs while walking around town with Hige.

That had been a little over a week ago, but the pain was still there. I couldn't help but think it was my fault. Maybe Snow had left because I did. Maybe she was searching for me. She was alone out there, where anything and everything could kill her without issue. If I'd known this would happen I never would've picked her up out of that box all those months ago.

I let out a shuddering breath, covering my face with my hands and peeking out through my fingers after a few moments of deep breathing. The silence of the library I was currently in did little to calm me, and it was all I could do to keep from crying out in frustration.

Coming here had been my idea. I had originally wanted to go to the park, but lately, there had been reports of wild dogs running around the city and killing pets. One had even attacked a college student while he was out jogging.

Kiba and Tsume had warned me against going out where the dogs might have been hiding, so it had been days since I last went to the park. I had just wanted to get out of the hotel. Being inside for long amounts of time had never been my forte, and after weeks of sulking, I was ready to face life again.

Kiba glanced over at me from where he stood beside a bookshelf, observing my actions critically. I pulled my hands away from my face, giving him a small smile and a wave, which seemed to satisfy him.

I let my hand fall to the table I was sitting at, turning my attentions to the monitor in front of me once more. I'd never spent much time on the computer unless it was for schoolwork, and this leisure time was almost too much freedom.

I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself. I'd opened up a browser almost half an hour ago, yet I hadn't done anything else with the computer. I'd stared at the screen for a while, eyes dancing over the news story that had popped up.

Some boy had gone missing. But he wasn't really missing. He was a runaway.

I shook my head, propping my chin in my hand and glancing around the building. People watching had always been interesting. I never did it to make fun, unlike Airi, who had taught me the game. I was just curious about people, how they could look a certain way but be totally different than they seemed. Story of my life.

Even now, I could see a boy who'd been there for at least twenty minutes. He was tall and muscular with red hair and brown eyes. He looked like someone who would be friends with my brothers – a tough, high school jock sho spent his spare time smoking and making other people's lives hell.

But the books he was looking at said otherwise. Baby books. Four of them. His eyes looked exhausted, thoughtful, and stressed. He was going to be a father soon. A teenaged father. I didn't know for sure, but after years of playing this game, I'd come to respect my judgment.

"Having a fun birthday?"

I jumped, realizing that I was no longer alone. Tsume was like a ghost, always popping up when I least expected him. How he'd snuck up on me I wasn't sure, though I had been pretty distracted over the past few days.

Tsume grabbed a chair, pulling it closer to him and sitting down so he was straddling the back of it. I stared at him, unsure of how to respond. I'd been found out.

"So, you heard about that?" I questioned, turning to face the computer once more, hurrying to click to something new.

"Saw it on the TV this morning." He replied, watching my every move. "Why didn't you say anything?"

I shrugged, though the answer was pretty simple. "It doesn't matter."

"You only turn sixteen once."

"You only turn every age once."

"Hige's right. You are kind of a smartass."

Despite myself, I grinned, looking over the top of the machine to observe the sixteen-year-old in question. He was sitting on the floor in-between two bookshelves, legs crossed and concentrating thoroughly on a book he'd found.

Hige hadn't been lying when he said he was a reader at heart. Nowadays, I never saw him without a book in hand. _Maybe it's his way of coping. _The smile died on my face as I continued to watch him.

Ever since the night we'd been attacked, the very first time he'd ever had an episode in front of me, they were becoming increasingly common – and violent.

The night of Dante's call, Hige had gone into some sort of trance in the middle of the night. I remembered it clearly.

I'd woken up from a dream, the same one about Airi and the flower, and realized Hige was awake as well. His eyes had been open, but his breathing was fast and erratic, his entire body stiff. I'd gotten out of bed to wake up Kiba, but as soon as I moved, Hige began to scream.

I couldn't make sense of anything he said, though he had rambled about the color blue and guns. Tsume had taken me from the room while Kiba dealt with Hige, and the two of us sat in silence in the chairs by the elevator until Kiba came to retrieve us.

Ever since that night, Hige had been having similar episodes every other day. Sometimes he would sit and stare at nothing for long periods of time, and then blink in confusion as if waking from a dream. Others he screamed and cried, raged about things that I didn't understand.

As I watched Hige, I reached up to touch the bruise I knew was present underneath my left eye. Hige couldn't control himself when he became lost in his memories. Just yesterday he'd struck me, and he hadn't so much as spoken to me directly since.

I'd tried to get information as to why Hige had these attacks, what caused them and what he was remembering, but no one would say anything. Even Hige, who'd been the one to ask in the first place if I wanted to know, wouldn't say a word.

My eyes flickered to the computer, debating whether I should type in Hige's symptoms and see what I could find, but with Tsume watching me, I didn't dare try. I didn't want to pry so openly.

"He's beating himself up over that." Tsume said, inclining his head when he noticed the gentle hand I'd placed on my face. "It's been a long time since he's had to worry about hurting anybody."

"I don't blame him." I said quickly, tearing my gaze away from the boy on the floor and looking to Tsume instead. "I can only imagine what he must be going through."

Tsume nodded, and we lapsed into silence. I glanced down at the keyboard, determined to do something productive with my time there. But what could I look up that wouldn't remind me of home? My hands moved of their own accord, and before I knew it, _wolves of legend _was typed into the search tab.

I'd given my interest in wolves a rest after I learned that they weren't as simple as they appeared to be. I had to wrap my mind around the fact that they could appear human before I went any further. The information had disturbed me for some reason, but I kept telling myself the source might not have been completely reliable. It was only a legend, after all.

"Did you know wolves could be human if they wanted?" I found myself asking.

There was a silence while I scrolled through the links that had appeared on the screen, and it wasn't until I'd clicked on a random one that Tsume replied. "No."

"It's weird, isn't it?" I asked, resting my chin in my hand o as I read the manuscript on the page, barely registering what I was seeing until I saw a word I recognized. Jaguara.

I froze, mouse still poised over the button that would've taken me back to the first page. That name struck fear in my heart now, because I'd seen what that one little word had done to Hige. Backtracking to the top of the page, I started to read with a purpose.

_As the legend goes, over a millennia ago, Whiskers – one of the Wolves of Legend – was captured, tortured, and manipulated by Noble Jaguara in an effort to bring Lord Darcia III into her sights in his quest to open "Noble Paradise." The Wolf of Legend was released from Jaguara's Keep with the hope that he would attract Lord Darcia III._

_However, he was still kept under Noble Jaguara's control by the collar he sported around his neck, wiping his memories of his abuse and capture so as to keep Jaguara's plans a secret. The collar stayed with him until he met up with three of the Wolves of Legend – Fang, Claw, and Howling._

"Depends on what you mean by weird." Tsume's voice broke through my thoughts, which by now were so messed up and confused I couldn't concentrate on much.

I had assumed Wolves of Legend was a topic of discussion, the title with which people used to talk about the wolves' ability to be human. But… the Wolves of Legend were actual wolves? None of it made much sense, though one thing stuck out in my mind. Jaguara was a woman that had lived millions of years ago. What did she have to do with Hige, who was here in my lifetime?

"Seems odd that woman has the same name as Hige's abuser. It doesn't sound like it would be a common name."

I turned as Tsume spoke again, his eyes fixed firmly on the computer screen in front of me. "Yeah." I said slowly. "It is odd."

Odd didn't even begin to describe this. Hige had spoken about a collar, too. Jaguara had placed a collar on the wolf to keep him under her control.

As I stared at the wall behind Tsume, deep in thought, I felt a small pulse beneath my eyes. I ignored it, because it wasn't the first time it had happened, but as I turned back to the article, it only became worse. The words on the screen danced before me until the only thing I could see clearly was Jaguara's name.

Suddenly, the lights flickered and everything went dead. The computer shut down, and the lights went off completely. The soon-to-be-father dropped his books, Hige called out for Kiba, and the beating beneath my eyes – for lack of a better word – _exploded._

* * *

><p>"<em>You're another one… just like me!"<em>

"_Move it, kid."_

"_Shake a leg, runt."_

"_My name's Toboe!"_

"_We're leaving town."_

"_Leaving? But why? Where will you go?"_

"_To Paradise."_

* * *

><p>"Toboe?"<p>

I blinked, staring up at Tsume as he stood over me from where I sat on the floor. The chair I'd been sitting in was overturned, though I couldn't remember how I'd managed to get from there to the ground.

Breathing heavily, I raised a shaking hand to my forehead. What had just happened? The lights were still off and voices were raised in panic, so I knew I hadn't hallucinated any of that. But what about the voices in my head?

"Are you alright?" Tsume continued, grabbing my arm and gently pulling me to my feet.

Too shaken to do much else, I nodded. "I – I'm fine."

"What happened?" It wasn't Tsume speaking this time, but Hige, who'd picked himself up off the floor and had made his way over to us, eyes on the librarian who was trying to calm people down.

"The power went out, Porky." Tsume replied, releasing his hold on my arm.

Hige glowered at Tsume, eyes flickering to me for a moment before darting away. "I'm aware of that, but why?"

"Attention, ladies and gentlemen!" The librarian's voice rose over the chatter. "Nothing is terribly wrong, but there is a storm cell heading for the city that has knocked out the power. It would be in your best interests to leave for home to seek shelter, but there is a bunker in the basement to go to if the weather turns severe."

"Where's Kiba?" Tsume muttered, eyes scanning the darkened room.

I crossed my arms over my middle, my stomach and my thoughts churning as I struggled to figure out what had just happened. The eye thing was normal. It had happened a lot in the time I'd been with Kiba, Tsume, and Hige, but _never _had I heard voices like that.

For a moment, I thought I was going crazy, having an attack like Hige, but that didn't seem likely.

"Toboe, are you okay?" Hige questioned, eyes full of worry as he gazed down at me. "You look a little pale."

"He had a dizzy spell." Tsume said lowly, locking eyes with Hige. "We need to find Kiba so we can take care of it."

Hige didn't say anything for a moment, looking at Tsume like he'd lost his mind, but then, slowly, his eyes widened. A flash of confusion ran through me. A dizzy spell? I didn't remember ever feeling dizzy, unless one counted the words on the screen becoming so blurred I could hardly read them. I guessed it wasn't the comment itself that had my mind reeling, but Hige's reaction.

"We should probably get going." I jumped as Kiba appeared out of nowhere, though Tsume and Hige remained stoic. "You guys ready?"

"Toboe had a dizzy spell." Hige said quietly to Kiba, shifting his weight anxiously. "Tsume thinks we should handle it."

Kiba's eyes flashed in the darkness, turning to Tsume. "Are you sure now is the best time for that?"

Tsume nodded. "Today's his birthday. He deserves a gift."

Hige and Kiba glanced at me, both equally confused as to why they hadn't been told about this sooner. I felt my face heat up, and I felt angry for a moment that Tsume had betrayed me, but I didn't say a word. Compared to what was now happening, it seemed – once again – unimportant.

"Come on, then." Kiba said with a resigned sigh. "Follow me."

He turned and walked toward the back of the library, and I followed, Tsume and Hige trailing behind me. I didn't know what to expect, half thinking we were leaving through the back entrance so as to avoid the large crowd of people, but then Kiba stopped outside the boy's bathroom.

I followed him in without question, though I couldn't help but feel suspicious. What could we possibly be doing in the bathroom? The window provided enough light so that we could see one another, though as clouds began to roll by, I didn't know how long that would last.

"What did you see?"

I blinked, staring at Kiba as he turned to face me, his expression frighteningly grim. "What?"

"You heard or saw _something,_ didn't you?" Kiba said, throwing Tsume a glance.

I hesitated, unsure of what to say. Should I mention the voices I'd heard, how I'd sort of checked out of reality for a few split moments? I could hear the rain on the roof, the howling of the wind outside, and they only served to stress me out further.

"I – I heard voices." I said eventually. "I think one was my own… maybe? I mean, I sounded really young, my voice wasn't as deep." I dropped my gaze to the floor, completely aware of how stupid I sounded. The other voices had been somewhat familiar, or at least I thought they had.

"You were only fourteen then. Hardly younger than you are now. You just matured differently this time." Kiba said.

I looked back up at him. "Huh?"

"What do you know about wolves, Toboe?" Tsume cut in, appearing from the corner of my eye and moving to stand a few feet away from Kiba.

I watched him move. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Just answer the question, Toboe." Hige said from behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Please?"

The room was shrouded in darkness as a cloud passed over the sun, and when the light came back, I spoke. "Wolves are rare. They can… well, some _think _they can turn into humans. Like, maybe it's a survival mechanism or something? I don't really know. They can heal quickly as humans, I think. Look, can we just go back to the – "

"You know the scar your brother gave you?" Kiba interrupted. "From when he pushed you into the fireplace?"

All I could do was stare. In all the time I'd been with them, they'd all refrained from mentioning my family so openly. Even now, I felt my heart beat faster as I struggled to contain my tears. My longing for my family was becoming overwhelming. Surely they knew how much I missed them. What had changed that they would bring it up like this? "Yeah, what about it?"

"Look in the mirror." Kiba replied, tilting his head towards the glass on the wall to my right.

Shooting both him and Tsume confused glances, I moved away from Hige's hand and over to the mirror, suddenly afraid of what I would see there. I didn't look any different, though my skin did seem really pale, just like Hige had said.

Slowly, I lifted a hand to my forehead, pushing my bangs away from my face to observe the scar I knew would always be above my right eye.

But that was the thing. There was no scar.

"The bruise below your eye should disappear by tomorrow." Hige said quietly. "I'm really sorry about that."

"I – I've always been a quick healer." I stammered, leaning closer as I observed my face critically. Maybe the scar was above my left eye? But, no, it wasn't there either. "But scars – "

"Don't disappear." Kiba finished. "Normally they don't, but this isn't a normal circumstance."

I let my hands fall at my sides, staring at my reflection like it held all the answers. "Who are you?" I found myself saying.

"We're who we've always been, Runt."

I spun around to face Hige, the name striking something within me. "My name's Toboe!" I snapped, echoing the words I'd heard in my head only minutes before. What was happening to me? I'd never been so short-tempered. "Fine, _what _are you then?"

"I think you know the answer to that, Toboe." Tsume said, his voice surprisingly gentle, a complete contrast to the tone he'd used in my head.

I froze.

Kiba, Hige, and Tsume. It had been them, the voices I'd heard. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and covering my face with my hands. My head was starting to hurt, the pulsing beneath my eyes returning with a vengeance.

I knew what they were. Some part of me had known the minute I'd learned wolves could appear human. That's why I'd shied away from it. I didn't want to believe it.

"You're wolves." I muttered. "You're wolves, are you happy now?"

"You're doing really well, Toboe. Better than anyone we've seen so far." Kiba said encouragingly in the voice he normally reserved for Hige when he was having an episode. "Keep going. You know the truth."

"Why are you doing this?" I demanded, lifting my face out of my hands and fixing Kiba with a hard glare. "Why didn't you say something before I left home? Isn't this something I needed to know from the start?"

"You weren't ready."

"Weren't ready for what?"

"To know what you are."

"I know what I am!" I cried. "I'm human, unlike you guys. What do you want with me? Why did you ask me to come with you?"

Kiba didn't say anything, and Tsume took the lead. "Look, you have to calm down if we're going to tell you what you want to know." Tsume said slowly. "Can you do that for us?"

I stifled a sharp retort, aware of how much like my siblings it would've made me sound, and instead took a few deep breaths, concentrating on the rain that was steadily increasing in volume. The light was going to die soon. It was already starting to fade. "I'm calm."

Tsume nodded. "Good. Now, what you're about to hear isn't going to be easy to accept. But we're going to help you, and everything's going to be fine."

I didn't believe him, but I nodded anyway. They were wolves. Kiba and Tsume and Hige. _Wolves. _They'd always been odd, right from the start. I didn't know what it was about them that had made me trust them so easily.

Maybe it was how Kiba took care of me after Snow attacked Bear? Or when Hige would walk me home or how Tsume had carried me off the streets the night of the party? I didn't know what it had been, and even if I wanted nothing more than to run, go to the police and ask to be taken home, I still trusted them. But I didn't know why, and it was killing me.

"We are wolves." Tsume said, eyes wary as he watched my face. "But… so are you."

A clap of thunder sounded from outside, and a flash of lightning illuminated the room further. I glanced down at the floor, and then gasped, taking a few steps back.

Kiba and Tsume's shadows weren't human ones. No, far from it. The shapes were dogs, no, _wolves_. Had they always been like that? Was _my _shadow like that? I was too terrified to look.

"No." I said, my voice trembling. They'd done nothing but lie to me since I met them. "You're wrong."

"For your sake, I wish we were." Hige muttered, eyes glazed with sadness as he watched me.

I opened my mouth to say something, to deny their claims again, but nothing came out aside from a small squeak. I tried again. "Y – You knew?" I whispered. "This whole time?" They all nodded without hesitation. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

"You weren't ready." Kiba repeated. "You still aren't, but it's too late now. Whatever you saw would've eaten at you until you were forced to remember. It's kind of what happened to Hige."

Hige huffed in indignation, earning him a glare from both of the older men. I stared at them. Okay, so I was a wolf? It explained some things, like why I could heal so fast, why I had trouble sleeping at night, why I could run quickly.

It made sense, but I didn't want to believe it. I was born human! I'd already lost everything. I didn't want to lose my humanity along with it. "You didn't tell me." I said, my voice rising to be heard over the rain and wind. "You lied to me!"

"We did what we thought was best." Kiba said, seeming to be at a loss for words, a first in all the time I'd known him.

"Best for who?" I demanded. "Didn't you think I'd like to know if I was a w – a w – "

I couldn't say it. Too angry and uncomfortable under their sympathetic and anxious stares, I turned and bolted for the door. If I really was a wolf, then I had natural fight or flight instincts, right?

I heard Hige call out for me as I went, but I didn't stop. Blindly pushing past all the people who were still crowded around the librarian, I ran through the lobby and pushed open the doors, exposing myself to the elements outside.

The storm was worse than I'd imagined. My clothes were already soaked despite only being outside for a few seconds. Desperate not to be caught, I took off down the street. I didn't know where I was going – the hotel, the park, the police station, it didn't matter.

I just wanted out. I wanted home, where things were familiar and made sense. But I couldn't go back. Who would want me, knowing what I was? _I_ didn't even know who I was anymore. Everything had been a lie.

I kept running until it was nearly impossible to keep going. I slowed to a stop, the wind tugging at my hair and clothes, almost forcing me to the ground. Trying to escape the downpour, I turned off into an alley, which only sheltered me from the wind.

Exhausted, I leaned against the brick wall and slid slowly to the ground. I stared at my hands, curling my fingers and observing the skin. How could I have been a wolf? It all felt so real.

I let out a sob, finally realizing I was crying. I felt weak for it, but the tears seemed justified this time. Had my mother known? My siblings? Was that why they'd treated me so terribly?

I wasn't one of them. I never had been. That phrase meant so much more now, because it was true. I wasn't even human. I was… an animal. An animal with conscious thought and human emotions. My hands curled into fists.

When I spent all my time in the woods when I was a kid, I had always felt more at home there. I'd always been closer to animals than people. I could hear things no one else could. And now I knew why, but it wasn't what I wanted.

I thought back to my dream, back to when Airi had told me to look in the pool. My reflection had been of a wolf. Some part of me had always known.

All I could feel was the sting of the rain as it pelted my skin, mixing with my tears. They were both warm, surprisingly, though that did nothing to stop the shivers that wracked through my body.

Alone in the alley with nothing but my thoughts, I was certain I was going mad. Maybe I already had, because nothing made sense. It was illogical, it was impossible!

I bit my lip, burying my face in my knees as another ripple of thunder sounded in the distance. The storm was closing in. _I shouldn't be out here. _But I couldn't move, couldn't bear the thought of leaving the sanctuary of this alley only to go out into the chaotic mess outside.

Let Quent find me, I didn't even care anymore. I'd been lied to. The pain of that and of the knowledge I now bore was enough to cripple me, and now here I was, alone on the streets. Everyone was looking for me. Kiba, Hige, Tsume, Quent, _everybody._ But who could I run to? I didn't belong anywhere anymore.

Some sixteenth birthday this turned out to be.

I lifted my head when I heard a soft whine to my left. There, in the entrance to the alley, stood Bear.

His head was low, fur flat and dripping from the rain as he watched me with sad, amber eyes. I bit my lip, because now I realized that I recognized those eyes for who they really belonged to.

All those days when I'd gone to their old apartment and Hige had been "out running errands," those had all been lies. Hige had been right underneath my nose, just being himself.

I wanted to yell at Hige, to make him go away and leave me alone, because I didn't want to see him. But the overwhelming urge to have Tsume, Kiba, and Hige with me was almost too hard to ignore, and it just upset me further, because I didn't understand _why_.

Hige crept closer, head and tail still low to the ground as he watched me, waiting for me to react. I didn't move until he was close enough to touch, the heat from his body reaching me even if we weren't making contact just yet.

Hige whined again, sitting down beside me and leaning over, licking at the bruise underneath my eye. Something shifted within me, and without thinking about it, I threw my arms around the wolf's neck, burying my face in his damp fur. My shoulders shook with every sob, and even if he was currently a wolf, I swore I could hear Hige talking to me.

_"I'm sorry, Toboe. It wasn't supposed to happen like this."_ To my ears, all I heard was a series of whines and whimpers. But in my head, I heard the words, Hige's voice.

I held on tighter, squeezing my eyes shut. "I don't know what to do, Hige."

He didn't say anything, just pressed his head closer to mine, resting his nose on my shoulder. After a few moments of nothing, I felt two more presences, one on each side.

I dared to open my eyes, coming face to face with yellow eyes and white fur. I didn't need to think about it. This was Kiba in his true form. He looked every bit the wolf I expected him to be, head and tail held high.

But his eyes held the sadness that Hige's had, and he leaned closer to me, pressing his nose against my forehead. _"Don't be ashamed, Toboe." _Just like with Hige, it sounded like a yip, an ordinary sound, but I heard the words in my mind. _"You should be proud of yourself. We are."_

I turned to look to my other side, to see Tsume. He was gray-furred with golden eyes, and a pale, _X _shaped scar over his chest where the fur had grown back a different color. He didn't make a move to touch me like Kiba and Hige had, but he looked just as saddened.

_"We always have been." _His words agreed with Kiba, and despite myself, I reached out to rest my hand on the top of his head. He didn't move, though his ears lowered a bit. For some reason, this all felt right to me. I gripped Hige's fur tighter, hoping I wasn't hurting him. I still didn't know how any of it was possible, but it didn't seem to matter anymore. The four of us were together, and for the first time in a long while, I felt relieved. _"And we always will be."_

* * *

><p><em>A.N. <em>Well… there ya have it. Toboe didn't take that very well at first, huh? It's going to be a struggle for him to fully accept it, but sadly he won't have much time to process it before stuff from the past gets thrown his way. Sounds like fun, right? Thanks to all who reviewed!


	14. Through the Looking Glass

_**Chapter 13: Through the Looking Glass**_

* * *

><p>The silence was overwhelming. I wished someone would just say something, <em>anything<em>, but it seemed no one was willing to talk until I did.

I was still dripping rainwater, unwilling to dry myself off until I'd figured all this out. Absentmindedly, I ran my fingers through Hige's damp fur, watching in fascination as his eyes closed, and he heaved a large sigh.

I didn't know why he was still a wolf, but I wasn't complaining. Having a reminder of what I had just been told might help me come to terms with it.

Eventually, we'd had to leave the alley when the weather became too bad. Kiba, Tsume, and Hige had walked in as humans, had greeted the other guests as humans, but only Hige had reverted back to his true form once the door to our room had closed. Maybe he was relieved that they no longer had to keep things a secret from me.

The power had been out at the hotel as well, and our room was currently lit with emergency candles and lanterns that Tsume and Kiba had in their packs. They'd seemed awfully prepared for survival.

I sniffed, glancing up at Kiba and Tsume. Kiba was sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of me, wearing gray sweats and a black t-shirt that he'd thrown on after we got back. I'd never seen him look so casual. He'd picked an extremely unusual moment to appear that way, too.

Tsume was slumped over in a chair closer to the wall, head in his right hand as he waited, just as I was, for someone to speak.

Hige cracked open an eye, staring up at me from where his head rested in my lap. _"Well, is anyone going to break this painfully awkward silence?"_

I was never going to get over how I could hear him talking in my mind. The humor in his voice even carried over. It was almost like he was speaking aloud.

Tsume snorted. "I think you just did, Porky."

"How does this… telepathy thing work?" I asked. "Will I hear you guys in my head every time you speak to me as wolves?"

"Only in the beginning." Kiba said. "Once you get in touch with your wolf side again, you'll be able to hear what we're saying out loud just as if we were talking as normal humans. Like, when Hige talks now, Tsume and I hear normally where as it's more telepathic for you."

"_Does it bother you?"_ Hige asked, ears pricked in interest.

"Only a little." I admitted. "It'll take some getting used to, I think."

"You're taking this rather well." Kiba said. He seemed almost impressed, though I didn't know why.

"Aside from you running from the library like that." Tsume said, shooting me a glance that I supposed was meant to be stern.

"_Into a super storm cell." _Hige chimed in, licking my fingers.

I shrugged, staring into the flame on one of the candles. "I couldn't help it."

I would admit that running into a storm hadn't been my brightest idea, but at the time, I hadn't known what else to do. I felt significantly better now that I'd somewhat come to terms with it, yet the whole experience still felt surreal, like a dream I was going to wake up from eventually.

"Is there anything else I should know about… us?" I asked. I still couldn't say the words out loud. _I'm a wolf. _It shouldn't have been so hard, but I just couldn't do it. Not yet.

"Is there anything specific you want us to tell you?" Tsume asked.

I paused, thinking. "When will I be able to shift back and forth like you guys?"

"We don't really know." Kiba said with a small sigh. "Your situation is…. different than ours."

"How so?"

They all hesitated. Even Hige tensed a bit beneath my hands, though he relaxed once more when I rubbed behind his ears. Snow had always liked that.

"It's a sensitive topic." Kiba said eventually, glancing over at Tsume. "We haven't discussed it in years."

"Tell me." I said firmly. "I don't want to be lied to anymore. That's what got us into this mess in the first place, remember?"

Tsume chuckled darkly. "You always were the master of persuasion, kid."

Ignoring Tsume's confusing statement, I looked to Kiba imploringly. "Please?"

Blue eyes regarded me thoughtfully, warily, and then he nodded. "Okay. I can't promise to tell you everything at once, because it will be too much for you to handle in just one day, alright?"

I nodded enthusiastically, because some information was better than none at all.

_"Now to decide where we start." _Hige said, letting out a small noise as he stretched.

"You know how you were reading that article about the Wolves of Legend in the library, Toboe?" Tsume asked. I nodded. "What all do you remember about it?"

"Well, one of the wolves was captured by – " I hesitated, glancing down at Hige. I only continued when Kiba nodded at me encouragingly. "Noble Jaguara. She wanted to… find some guy and used the wolf to lure him out. She let him go, and the wolf came together with the other wolves. I think that's how it went."

"That's not how the story began." Kiba said. "It's a crucial piece, though."

"Well, what _did _happened?"

"The Wolves of Legend weren't friends in the beginning." Kiba explained, his voice taking on a faraway tone. "They didn't even know each other, but fate and circumstance brought them all together eventually. There were four at first. Fang, Whiskers, Claw, and Howling."

"_Fang was a mysterious loner, while Claw was kind of a douche." _Hige said, his tail thumping a few times on the ground. _"Whiskers was a loveable lug. He was so easygoing."_

"He was so obnoxious." Tsume said with a snort.

"Howling was the youngest." Kiba said, rolling his eyes. "He was just a pup when everything happened, but he was just as important as Whiskers, Fang, and Claw."

"Well, what happened to them?" I asked, leaning forward a bit as I waited for them to continue. Saying I was interested was an understatement. Accepting our kind's folklore and history seemed like an important step in coming to terms with it, in my opinion.

"The world was spiraling down a dark path." Kiba said, his voice dropping in volume. "Crime plagued almost every city and the Nobles were plotting against the world from the shadows. The wolves didn't know it at the time, but it was their destiny to stop them and keep the world from perishing."

"They wandered around for awhile after they first came together. Fang was a delirious fool, if you ask me." Tsume said, and I caught a hint of amusement in his tone. "He was searching for a place called Paradise."

"Paradise?" I echoed, recalling that I'd seen something similar in the article I'd read. But it had said Noble's Paradise. Was there a difference? "What's that?"

"It's a sacred place to wolves." Kiba explained. "It's free of worry and hardship, and I've heard it's a beautiful place. The Wolves of Legend wanted to go there, but they needed help from the Flower Maiden first."

"Who was the Flower Maiden?"

"_She was a genetically enhanced Lunar Flower." _Hige said, and I made a mental note to ask what a Lunar Flower was. _"She was a human girl in their time, and without her they couldn't open Paradise."_

"And neither could the Nobles." Kiba said. "They wanted the Flower Maiden as well to open up their own twisted version of Paradise."

"Noble Paradise." I said with a slight nod. So the two Paradises were completely different after all. "I read about it."

"The wolves lost the Flower Maiden to the Nobles." Tsume said, glancing at the window as a particularly loud clap of thunder made it rattle.

"On more than one occasion." Kiba added darkly, his blue eyes flashing with anger for a split second. "Lord Darcia the Third wanted the Flower Maiden so he could save his lost lover, Lady Jaguara's sister, Hamona. She'd come down with 'Paradise sickness', or so the story goes. Paradise had supposedly taken her soul, leaving her in a coma of some sorts."

"_Darcia kept her hooked up to a machine that kept her alive, but Hamona died eventually." _Hige said. _"Darcia went mad afterward. He killed Lady Jaguara and went after the wolves."_

"Why would he do that?" I questioned. "I mean, not to sound brutal, but if you lost someone you cared for, wouldn't you lose it completely? What did the wolves have to do with it?"

Kiba gave me a small grin. "The wolves had _everything_ to do with it. See, the Darcia family line descended from a clan of wolves that were determined to live their lives as humans. Lord Darcia the First tried to enter Paradise as a human, thinking that since he had been born a wolf, he would be allowed in despite having turned his back on his wolf heretage. But Paradise rejected him, and as retribution for his actions, he was given a permanent wolf's eye."

"It marked him as a traitor, one blue human eye, and one yellow wolf eye." Tsume added. "The curse was passed down through the generations."

"_Darcia the Third was determined to enter Paradise, so he became a wolf once more, a first in all the years since the curse had been placed on their family." _I paused in my petting as Hige spoke, the beating of his heart strong against my palm. _"In that time, the four Wolves of Legend and the Flower Maiden met up with the final asset to their group, the wolf dog."_

I stared at Hige worriedly, for the voice I was hearing in my head sounded extremely melancholy. The beating beneath my palm started to increase. Though just as quickly, it slowed down to the point where I could barely feel it.

Hige's eyes remained open, yet he stared at a spot beside Kiba, his amber eyes unblinking. He was lost again. I let out a small noise of distress, glancing up at Kiba.

He was watching Hige as well. "He'll be back."

"W – What happened after they found the wolf dog?" I stammered, starting to pet Hige's still form once more. Maybe it would stimulate him enough to bring him back. _Or maybe he'll attack me._

"They tried to stop Darcia from taking the Flower Maiden and entering Paradise." Tsume supplied the answer, watching my hands as they moved through the coarse fur on Hige's side. "But they failed. One by one, they started to die."

I blinked. That wasn't what I had expected.

"Howling was shot by Darcia." Kiba said, watching my face carefully. "He was protecting the wolf dog's owner. Howling had a soft spot for humans."

It was only a legend, and I hadn't known the wolves personally because of it, but a flash of sadness ran through me as I thought about the young wolf sacrificing himself to save a human. Would I have done the same, had I been in his situation? I was close to humans since I'd been raised as one my whole life. I'd only just found out about what I was half an hour ago. "Poor pup." I mumbled.

"Darcia killed the wolf dog's owner afterward, so I guess Howling's sacrifice was in vain." Tsume said, and I detected a hint of bitterness in his tone. "Blinded by her rage at having her owner killed, the wolf dog attacked Darcia, but he killed her as well. Then he tore Whiskers' throat out, and Claw died of blood loss during the fight."

"Darcia took the Flower Maiden, and Fang followed." Kiba picked up where Tsume left off. "He was determined to avenge the death of his friends and keep the world and the Flower Maiden safe. Fang and Darcia fought, but in the end, the Noble had the wolf beaten."

He trailed off, and I tensed. That couldn't be it. "Well, what happened?" I demanded.

Kiba released a sigh before finishing the tale. "Darcia thought he'd opened the gate to Paradise. He started to walk into it, but then he disintegrated into nothing. The curse wouldn't allow for him to see Paradise. His sight had been shrouded by his anger at losing Hamona, his lineage tainted because of his great-grandfather's actions. He was doomed to fail from the start. But the Wolves of Legend hadn't known that, and they all lost their lives that day."

"Fang died?"

Kiba nodded. "He stayed alive long enough to watch as the Flower Maiden withered away, leaving nothing but a bunch of seeds that would never be planted. After Fang died, the world froze over, and everything came to an end."

Silence greeted the end of the story, and I sat perfectly still, listening to the sound of the rain and wind. There was a hotel employee out in the hall, knocking on doors and asking if everything was okay, if they needed blankets or candles. I dimly registered that we'd have to get Hige out of sight before he came to our room.

"That's a terrible story." I said.

Kiba smiled ruefully, nodding once. "Isn't it?"

"Why would someone make a legend so sad?" I asked, honestly wanting to know the answer. Did our kind cherish this story? Was it symbolic? This wasn't a tale I would have desperately wished to know. It was just too sad.

"_Because it's not a legend." _I jumped as Hige's heart rate picked up one again, and his hoarse voice invaded my thoughts. _"It was all real."_

He lifted his head off of my legs, releasing a small groan as he pushed himself to his feet – paws. "Hige, you shouldn't be moving." Kiba warned.

Hige growled half-heartedly, giving his pelt a shake. He didn't say anything, but walked across the room slowly until he disappeared inside the bathroom. A few seconds later, there was a knock at the door.

Kiba's eyes were on me as Tsume got up to answer the hotel employee's call, and I stared after Hige in confusion.

"We're good in here." Tsume said as the man asked him what he'd asked every other patron. "Thank you."

I waited until the door was shut to speak again. This obviously wasn't something we should talk about in front of others.

_"Is he gone?" _The tip of Hige's nose poked out from behind the door.

"Hige, if you would just turn into a human, you wouldn't have to hide." Tsume said.

Hige huffed, padding out into the room once more. _"I don't care. I haven't been able to walk around like this in a long time. Maybe I'll turn back tomorrow."_

"What did Hige mean?" I asked slowly. "About it all being real?"

Hige blinked in confusion. The action was so unwolf-like, and I remembered that underneath all that wolf fur, there was a human. Most of his mannerisms would probably be more familiar to me. _"I didn't say that, did I?"_

"Yeah, Hige, you kinda did." Kiba said, his eyes flashing with worry for a split second. "It's alright though." Turning to me, he added, "I'll give you one more chance to back out. We don't have to tell you anymore than you already know."

I hesitated. Was what they had to say really that bad? If it turned out to not be as serious as Kiba was making it out to be, I was going to be really irritated. "Just tell me."

Kiba nodded, glancing over at Tsume. "Okay. The legend is only that to humans, a legend, a story. But to us wolves… it's true."

I stared at him. "You mean, the world's ending, and this is going to come to pass?"

"_The world ended."_ Hige said, sitting down heavily beside Kiba. _"Past tense."_

Okay, it was official. Either I was going insane, or Hige, Kiba, and Tsume were more odd than I'd thought. "The world… ended?" I echoed.

Kiba and Hige nodded in unison, and Tsume moved over to the window to close the blinds. I was glad, too. A small part of my mind had been worried that the wind would shatter the glass.

"How is that even possible?" I asked. If the end of the world had already happened, why were we still here?

"When the world froze over, _before _the world froze over, the moon turned blood red." Kiba said. I stiffened. The blood red moon. The one from my dreams? Just that revelation alone left me confused and frightened. "The Flower Maiden had been dying for a long while, and without her, the moon couldn't survive. As Fang was dying, right before he passed, the moon turned white again."

"What does that mean?" I asked, the tremble in my voice completely obvious.

"The seeds that had been spilled when the Flower Maiden wilted managed to take root, and the light of the healing moon made them grow. The world did end that day, but it rejuvenated itself. No one really knows how long it's been since that day, if the world was reborn instantly or if time froze until a new world could be formed." Kiba explained. "Most everyone on the planet at the time was reborn, reincarnated, if you will."

I stared at Kiba for a long moment, then let my eyes slide to Tsume, who was rooting through Kiba's backpack on the bed. He seemed to be searching for something. But what?

"Were the wolves?" It seemed to be the only question I could form into words. "Since they were dead, were they reincarnated, too?"

"That's what confuses everyone." Tsume cut in, still digging through the bag. "They shouldn't have been reborn. They were dead, long gone from the world. They should still be dead. But they aren't, and we didn't know why until last year."

"Tsume, slow down." Kiba said sharply, eyeing the man as he rooted through his bag. "Don't you think we've said enough for tonight?"

"No." I breathed, wiping the sweat that had been gathering in my palms on my jeans. I felt strange. There was something I was missing, something that should've been painfully obvious to me by now. "Keep going. I – "

I couldn't keep talking, and Tsume picked up where he left off, ignoring Kiba's warning. "Last year, the Flower Maiden spoke to the Wolves of Legend. She called to them, and her parting words in the last lifetime had been that they would reunite again when it was time to search for Paradise."

I stopped breathing. Literally. Just last year, on the day I'd found Snow, I'd heard a voice. "Wait – "

"But the Wolves of Legend weren't a pack yet." Kiba said urgently, suddenly all too willing to tell me what was going on. "Howling and the wolf dog were missing. Fang, Claw, and Whiskers were together, battered beyond recognition, but they knew that they couldn't continue with their quest until they'd found their friends."

"Kiba – " My eyes were starting to pulse.

"_They searched for a full year, Toboe." _Hige said, ears pressed tightly to his head. _"An entire year passed before they finally found one of their missing friends. Howling didn't remember them, but it didn't matter, because some part of him knew, and he joined them in their mission once more."_

Once again, I found myself teetering on the edge of denial. Okay, so being a wolf wasn't so far-fetched, I supposed, but… this? There was no way I had been – that I was –

"We left Fairfield in search of this, Toboe." Tsume said, pulling a piece of paper out of Kiba's backpack. "This is a Lunar Flower."

I looked to the paper, but I already knew what I would see there. The beautiful, white flower from my dreams. It was a drawing, a pretty accurate one at that. The flower was in the mouth of a white wolf that I immediately identified as Kiba. Tsume was standing on a rock behind him, and Hige was sitting at the foot of it.

A black wolf with blue eyes was lying down beside Hige, and on Hige's other side, was the wolf from my dreams. It was lying on its back, tongue hanging out of the side of its mouth.

With a jolt, I realized it was supposed to be me. I expected another pain-filled flash like I'd had at the library, but nothing came. The pounding in my eyes and head slowly faded away as I continued to stare at the picture I was being presented with.

"Kiba means fang." Tsume said slowly. "Tsume means claw, Hige means whiskers, and Toboe means – "

"Howling." I whispered, reaching up with a shaking hand to take the paper from Tsume. "I – I'm the wolf without a memory."

No one said anything, but they didn't have to. The answer was painfully obvious. Tears welled in my eyes, because in a place I couldn't access, there was a version of myself that I didn't remember. This wolf on the paper was lost somewhere inside me, trapped underneath the human that I represented.

I didn't understand. If Kiba, Hige, and Tsume could remember, why couldn't I?

"I know what you're thinking," Hige was human once more, "and don't. There's nothing wrong with you."

"But I – " I pressed my lips together tightly, trying to escape the sob that was threatening to tear me apart from the inside out.

"No buts." Hige said firmly, reaching over to take the picture from me, thrusting it back into Tsume's hands. I wondered who'd drawn the picture – it looked so accurate – but I was too exhausted to care about that now. "We were ripped from the afterlife, you can't just expect everything to be the same as it was before."

"Then why am I the only one that can't remember?" I cried, finally letting the tears flow. Maybe Kiba was right. Maybe I wasn't ready. It was too much knowing that some other lifetime ago, I had been a wolf with a purpose. Maybe it wouldn't have been as stressful if that purpose hadn't been to save the world.

And according to Kiba's telling of the story, we'd failed.

"We don't know yet." Kiba said gently. "But, trust me, we _will_ find out."

I took a deep, gasping breath, clamping my mouth shut and holding the air in for as long as I could. I didn't want to cry, and this was the only way I could get myself to stop.

They all looked startled, though they didn't made a move to stop me, like my mother had always done. _Mother. _She wasn't even my mother! Not really. But… did I have two mothers?

"You used to do that… before." Hige said, looking like he was going to cry along with me. "Tsume was always afraid you'd knock yourself unconscious."

I released the breath instantly, giving up. There was no way I could stop now. Lightning flashed across the sky, and it was so bright it even illuminated the room past the shades over the window.

It took me a while to calm down, and by the time I had, the worst of the thunder and lightning had passed. I sighed, reaching up to wipe away stray tears with the heel of my palm. "Well, at least now I know what that guy was talking about the night we were attacked."

Hige tensed, reliving the memory, and Kiba asked, "What do you mean?"

"When the guy managed to grab me, he said, 'Did you mongrels think we wouldn't know what you really were?' I can only assume that he meant that they knew we were – " I hesitated. "Wolves."

My words had an obvious impact on the others. Tsume's golden eyes narrowed angrily, though I couldn't tell if the anger was directed at me specifically. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"It didn't seem important." I shot back. I wasn't in the mood to be scolded when they'd kept the truth about who I really was from me since the beginning. "How was I supposed to know that the word mongrels actually _applied _to me?"

Tsume snorted, and Kiba held up a hand, silencing anything the either of us would have said next. "Toboe, not everyone thinks what we tried to do was noble." He said grimly. "There are those out there that want to harm us."

"People want to harm wolves?"

"Not wolves, just us specifically." Hige said, rolling his eyes. "The dumb bastards don't know all that we went through. They can't possibly understand."

I didn't say anything. There were those out there that wanted to harm the four of us?

"Is there anything else we didn't cover that you want to know?" Kiba asked me.

I shook my head instantly, which earned a chuckle from Tsume. I didn't look at him, though. I was still pretty irritated that he'd had the gall to get angry with me for keeping something to myself.

"I'm tired." I admitted. "I don't know if I could… comprehend much else."

Kiba nodded, getting to his feet. "I understand. You've done really well for someone so young."

"Yeah, I couldn't even leave my room for a week after I remembered." Hige said, and I detected a hint of bitterness in his tone.

I bit back a retort that I _still_ didn't remember, unlike Hige. I was absorbing everything I was being told, but these stories, these events that I'd supposedly lived through, meant nothing to me.

I didn't know how much we'd done to protect ourselves and the world, what kind of hardships we'd faced. In a sense, I felt more alone than ever before. They had this image of who I was supposed to be, but I was no longer the boy they'd once known. I envied that boy I couldn't remember.

"Let's just go to bed." Kiba said. "It's late, and a lot has happened."

I nodded lethargically, because sleep sounded _so good_ right then. With Hige's help, I got to my feet, but I didn't let go of his hand. "Hige?"

He turned, amber eyes filled with question. "Yeah?"

"Can you stay a wolf all night?" I questioned, aware of how ridiculous my request sounded, as well as the reasoning behind it. "I – I want something to wake up to tomorrow that will remind me that this was real, that it wasn't just a dream."

Hige stared at me for a moment, analyzing me, but then he nodded, a smile spreading across his face. "Sure thing, Toboe."

As soon as I let him go, the Hige I'd known for the past couple weeks disappeared, replaced by an animal that I'd just realized was a wolf. He trotted behind me as I made my way over to the bed, plopping down on it even though I was still dressed and slightly damp.

He jumped up beside me as I settled underneath the sheets, laying down on top of them and tucking his nose under his tail. I laid my head down on the pillow, staring up at the ceiling as Tsume extinguished all the flames on the candles.

When I'd woken up that morning, all I'd wanted was to keep my birthday a secret. That hadn't worked out, but I'd finally gotten some answers along the way.

I breathed a small sigh as the last candle was put out, shrouding the room in darkness. A soft rumble was heard from outside. The storm was almost gone, the pounding of the rain having decreased to a light patter.

_"Happy birthday, Toboe." _Hige said, his voice echoing somewhat within my mind now that everything else was mostly silent.

I fell asleep, and for the first time in a long while, I didn't dream.

* * *

><p>I woke up the next morning to the smell of wet dog.<p>

I was confused, my groggy mind hardly processing much of anything. I owned a cat, not a dog, so what was –

My eyes opened slowly, taking in the sight of the warm body that was currently pressed against my side. I slowly registered that it was Hige, still in his wolf form because of the request I'd made of him last night.

_Well, it wasn't a dream. _I thought hazily as I rubbed at my eyes, stifling a yawn. Light was just beginning to pour through the window, and I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. 7:00. Great. Once I was awake, I never went back to sleep.

I lay in the bed for a few more minutes, listening to the sound of Hige's breathing. After a while, I got out of the bed, trying extremely hard not to jostle it too much so as not to wake him up. His ears twitched in his sleep, but otherwise, he didn't move.

After making sure that Tsume and Kiba were still asleep as well, I left the room. Back home, I'd always taken walks early in the morning, sometimes to clear my head and sometimes just because I wanted to.

As of now, I really needed to clear my head.

The streets were still wet from the storm the previous night, trash and broken tree branches littering the streets and sidewalks. The air was crisp and cool, something I found unusual for a June morning. Back home the air was always muggy. _But you're not home. _I sighed as I walked through the streets.

I wondered where home had once been, to the old me. It still seemed pretty unreal. I wasn't sure if I should take any of it seriously, that I was the reincarnation of a wolf that had lived a long time ago. But I couldn't ignore the signs, the dreams and quirks I'd had since I was a little kid. Thinking it over, it made sense. I couldn't really come up with a good, logical explanation.

I made my way to the park, certain that no one would be around so early in the morning. The wet grass clung to my shoes as I trekked across the field, but I stopped short as I neared the tree line.

Unease filled me as I remembered Kiba's warning. He'd said this was most likely where the dogs that had been attacking humans and animals alike were hiding. But as I thought about it, I grew suspicious. Normal dogs didn't just attack humans and kill other pets, at least not normal ones.

What if the dogs terrorizing this town weren't dogs, but wolves? If that were the case, would they be able to tell that I was one of them? Would they still attack if they saw me?

Determined to find out, I walked into the woods.

The effect the place had on me was instant, and the stress from what I'd been put through these past few weeks seemed to melt away as the musky scent of the woods filled my nose. It was a conifer forest, with a few normal trees scattered about, and I placed a hand on the wood, closing my eyes. Would I feel a connection with these trees?

It was a stupid thought, I knew, but anything was possible at that point. I was a reincarnated wolf boy. Feeling connected with the woods wouldn't be a huge shock, or at least I hoped it wouldn't.

The chirping of birds and the sound of leaves rustling on the forest floor were all I sensed, accompanied with the sound of my heartbeat. I opened my eyes, a small smile on my face. "I'm a wolf." I said slowly, deliberately, testing it out.

I waited. Nothing happened. I'd admitted it, and the world hadn't stopped spinning. I sighed, letting my hand fall from the tree, my smile disappearing.

I was a wolf. But _who _was I? I wasn't the kid Kiba, Tsume, and Hige knew, that's for sure, and I wasn't the boy my mother had raised, the one who at one point had been afraid of his own shadow. Not anymore, and probably never again. I didn't want to be stuck in this in-between stage, where I was learning to live with this newfound knowledge but still couldn't fully accept it.

For a moment, I really didn't want to go back to the hotel. They all had this idea of who I was supposed to be – Howling, one of the five Wolves of Legend. I'd died sacrificing myself to save a human. A single bullet had taken me down, while the others had been maimed and murdered in a fight I'd never been able to take part in.

Whatever they went through had left Hige in an unstable state of being. I felt so useless, but it wasn't a strong feeling. I couldn't relate to the Toboe they'd known. I knew next to nothing about him. I had to live up to his legacy, and it wasn't fair. I let my gaze slide to the ground, suddenly feeling hopeless again, but something caught my eye.

Crouching down, I pushed aside the muddy leaves and dirt, trying to catch another glimpse of the gleam I thought I'd seen. But what I saw wasn't expected, and I stared at it for a long time, trying to determine if I was imagining things or not.

It was a collar, too small to be a dog's, unless it had been a miniature. But the funny thing was, the people who'd lived at the address on the tag had never owned a dog. Quite the opposite. They'd had a cat, who had been missing for who knows how long. _Snow._

I picked up the dirtied collar, my eyes wide. Snow had been here? How was that possible? Fairfield was so far from Solerno, but I didn't know when Snow had run away. If she'd come all the way out here to find me, maybe she had managed to make it within a few weeks time. But where was she now?

A feeling of dread washed over me as I came up with a dozen different scenarios as to how Snow had lost her collar. A hawk got to her, the collar fell off, the dogs could've –

"Snow!" I called, glancing around the clearing, hoping to catch sight of white fur. "Snow, come here, girl!"

Not a thing moved, and I walked further into the dense undergrowth, determined to find my pet, dead or alive. My calls echoed through the woods, startling birds out of their nests and making small squirrels and rabbits scurry back into their dens.

After ten or so minutes of fruitless searching, I came across a creek. It was decently sized, maybe five feet deep in some areas, but I would have to wade across to get to the other side if I decided to do so. Still clutching her collar in my hand, I called for her one last time.

But again, nothing happened. She never came.

I almost turned to leave, deciding that it was a hopeless effort, but for some reason, I looked toward the creek bed… and did a double take.

There was something lying by the water, a shape so small I hardly recognized it. The white fur I'd grown so accustomed to wasn't visible, hidden underneath a layer of dirt and blood. My chest contracted painfully as I stared at the cat across the creek. She wasn't moving.

Without thinking about it, I waded into the water, tears appearing almost instantly, unlike when I'd been told about my wolf heritage when the tears took a long time to appear. Snow couldn't have been dead, she just couldn't. She'd come so far, walked a long way to find me. The universe couldn't have been that cruel.

I crawled through the mud once I reached the other side, a whimper escaping me. I was too afraid to touch her. She looked so small and fragile, as if the slightest touch would snap her in half. When I did muster the courage to pick her up, I started to sob. Her body was limp in my arms, and all I wanted was for her to open her eyes, to look at me with her blue orbs that seemed to look right into my soul.

My best friend was dead. _This isn't happening. This is not happening!_

A low growl sounded from the tree line.

I looked up, and though my tears made it hard to see just what had made the noise, I knew what I would find. I knew it was a wolf, not a dog like Kiba had told me before. Bared white teeth contrasted horribly with the blue-gray tint of its fur. A pang of fear went through me when I realized how sharp they looked. Cold, yellow eyes watched me as the wolf moved forward on silent paws, not even rustling a leaf as it moved toward me.

As I watched it approach, the sadness and pain at losing Snow gave way into something much more frightening. Rage. What if the wolf had killed her? It explained the blood. Had he come back to collect her body?

My jaw clenched with anger as I clutched Snow's body close. "Did you do this?" The wolf froze, one paw still poised in the air. "If you killed her," I continued, my voice practically wrecked with fury and loss, "I swear you'll pay for it. I'm one of the Wolves of Legend, so don't fuck with me!"

I didn't know what had possessed me to say it. I didn't even know how I felt about the title, and I had _never _said a curse word in my life. Oh, how far I'd fallen.

The wolf's eyes flashed with an emotion I could only describe as disbelief, but then it let out a loud snarl and charged, careful approach forgotten. Time seemed to slow down as it drew closer. It was like I could hear every thump as its paws touched the ground, the earth beneath me almost trembling. I didn't close my eyes and I didn't try to run. What was the point? I couldn't get away.

The wolf leapt down the bank, paws sinking into the mud. It was closing in. I held Snow's body tighter, but just as I thought that it was over, that the wolf was going to end me, a flash of white appeared from the trees.

With a mighty leap, Kiba cleared the creek without touching the water once, intercepting the blue-gray beast as it flew at me. The two wolves landed in the mud in a ball of fur, teeth and claws, and for a moment I feared for Kiba's safety. That wolf was bigger than he was.

I let out a cry of shock as I was plucked off the ground and into a pair of strong arms that I knew probably wanted to choke the life out of me for getting myself into this mess. Tsume carried me away from the scene, his expression completely blank of anything.

I could still hear the snarls coming from the creek, the howls of pain and rage. I had a hard time figuring out which one was Kiba's.

The rage that overcame me back at the creek was gone, replaced by the sorrow once more, and hot tears trailed down my face. When the park came back into view, Hige was there waiting. He was a wolf, pacing back and forth at the edge of the tree line, tail swinging in agitation.

He let out a sound that sounded like a bark, but not quite, and shifted into a human right before my eyes. That was something I'd probably never get used to. "Where's Kiba?" He demanded. "What happened in there?"

"Toboe was attacked by a wolf." Tsume said shortly, voice tight with anger. "What were you thinking, running off like that? You could've gotten yourself killed."

Killed. Just like Snow. My shoulders shook, and Hige took a step forward, eyes on the body in my arms. "What is that?"

"My cat." I choked out through my sobs. "S – She ran away and now she's – she's – "

I wanted out of Tsume's arms, but no matter how hard I struggled, he refused to let me go.

"Toboe," Hige said after a moment, staring at the cat in my arms through narrowed eyes, "she's not dead."

Staring down at Snow's body, I wanted to scream at Hige, because she was dead and nothing was going to bring her back, but the words died in my throat.

Snow's ear had twitched.

"Oh my God." I began to sob once more, though this time in relief.

"She won't be for long if we don't get out of here." Tsume said, moving away from the woods.

"But what about Kiba?" Hige protested, amber eyes scanning the woods worriedly.

"He can take care of himself." Tsume grunted, eyes fixed firmly in front of him as I began to rub Snow's body gently, trying to keep her warm and alive long enough to get her back to the hotel. But what would happen once we got there? She could still die from her wounds, depending on their severity. "We'll be helping him by getting off the streets."

And so we did. The walk back to the hotel was tense and silent. I swore I could still hear the sounds of fighting, even if we had left the creek and the wolves behind long ago.

Thankfully, the receptionist still wasn't around when we walked back into the hotel. Our current situation would've been tricky to describe. I insisted that Tsume set me down once we were safely inside the elevator, and he did, though I got the floor wet and dirty. I didn't care.

I walked straight into the bathroom once we were in the room, determined to clean Snow off before evaluating her current state, whether the blood was fresh or old. The bathtub seemed daunting, even to me. Snow was so small. It looked like the tub would swallow her up if given the chance.

Seemingly running on autopilot, I turned the faucet on and clogged the sink, waiting for the sink to fill slightly before testing the temperature and dipping Snow's body in. The water began to turn brown almost immediately, and a wave of sadness washed over me.

This was my fault. If I hadn't run away she never would've come to find me. She was just a year old. I could only imagine how hard the journey had been for her. I pumped the hand soap into my palm, because it was the only thing I had to clean her up with. I didn't know how safe it was to animals, but I'd been using it for years, and I was fine. But then again, I was hardly a normal animal.

I moved my fingers gently through Snow's fur until the caked in mud and grime was gone, her white fur visible once more. Once she was fully cleaned off, I got a real good look at her body.

Her ribs were more visible now that the water had squashed the fluff of her fur. Bile rose in my throat as I looked at her, pulling her out of the sink, wrapping her in one of the white hotel towels, and draining the sink before exiting the bathroom

Hige was laying face first in the bed, the sheets still unmade. I wondered if they'd tracked me the moment they'd woken up to find me gone. Tsume was by the window, arms crossed as he stared down at the streets with a frown on his face. _He's waiting for Kiba._

"Is she okay?" Hige asked, voice muffled by the pillow his face was currently buried in.

"I don't know." I replied softly, sitting down on the bed beside him. I could see her sides moving as she breathed now that she was clean. That gave me enough hope that she would pull through. Snow was a fighter. She'd survive this.

"She should wake up within the next couple of hours." Tsume said, turning away from the window. "What you did was reckless."

"I just needed to think." I said, not looking at him. "I went for a walk and found my way to the woods."

"We told you to stay away from the woods." Tsume retorted. "To keep you away from the wolves."

I glared at him. "You never told me they were wolves. And when someone tells me to stay away from something, it makes me want to go."

That wasn't the truth. I always listened to authority, but I was starting to get fed up with Tsume's lectures. I still wasn't ready to forget the fact that they'd kept the secret of my identity from me.

Tsume opened his mouth to say something, but a tapping on the window cut him off. He pulled the window up instantly, and Kiba climbed through it, covered in mud and blood. I stared at him openly, at the gashes on his skin. He'd gotten hurt because of me.

"Are you okay?" Hige asked, sitting up.

Kiba nodded, though I saw how stiffly he moved, the pain induced winces he was trying to hide. "I'm fine."

"What happened to the wolf?" I asked quietly.

Kiba didn't seem concerned, offering me a small shrug that I knew must've hurt. "He's not going to be an issue anymore."

Which basically meant that he was dead.

I clutched Snow's towel-clad body tightly, silently sending Kiba my thanks.

"I'm going to take a shower." He said with a small sigh, moving stiffly across the room. "We'll talk later."

No one spoke until Kiba was in the bathroom, the sound of the shower being started reaching my ears.

"Hige," I said slowly. "I want to ask you something."

"What is it?"

"You guys said that last year when… when the Flower Maiden spoke to you, you knew why we'd been reborn." I needed to know why I'd been dragged into this mess. All I'd done was hurt those around me. Mother, Snow, Kiba. I had to understand just what it was that we were trying to accomplish before the guilt ate me alive. "Why did we really leave Fairfield?"

Hige sighed, glancing up at Tsume. "Do you think we should tell him now or wait for Kiba?"

Tsume grunted, moving over to the desk at the far side of the room to pick up the drawing he'd shown me last night. He stared at it for a moment before replying. "Kiba won't tell him anything different than we will."

With the older wolf's permission, Hige spoke. "Well, the Flower Maiden, her name was Cheza by the way, she told Kiba before she died that we would see her again when we were supposed to look for Paradise."

"So, we're searching for Paradise?"

Yeah." Hige said, looking at me with a small smile on his face. "It's almost like we're getting a redo."

"We wouldn't need to find Paradise if the world wasn't in peril again." Tsume said. "We don't know what's happening yet, but it can't be good."

It took a while to process what Tsume was saying. "Wait." I said. "So… the world's ending?"

Tsume and Hige nodded. "We don't know why either." Hige said lowly. "Something must have gone haywire if Cheza called for us to hunt again."

"Already things are changing." Tsume added. "There have been more thunderstorms and tornadoes going on here than ever before. And it's not just here. Natural disasters are being reported everywhere. They're unexplained and they appear seemingly out of nowhere."

I said nothing. I didn't have time to figure out who I was. I was going to be thrust back into the life I never even knew I had once had. But for some reason, I didn't feel afraid. If anything, I was angry.

After all we'd went through to save the world the first time, it was all crashing down around us. The desire to protect everyone I held dear was strong, and now all I wanted was to fix the problem.

It didn't matter if my mom wasn't really my mom, at least not my first one. I wanted her to live a life where she didn't have to worry about her kids' future. I wanted my siblings to grow up and experience the world in a way that I was, though not as dangerously.

If saving their futures meant putting them and myself through a few months of hell, I was going to do it.

I took the picture from Tsume, observing myself with critical eyes. I didn't know who had drawn it, but in the picture, I was depicted as a carefree pup. I didn't understand how it had been so. Hadn't the responsibility of saving the world broken me like it had Hige?

"It was part of Kiba's therapy." Hige said, gesturing to the picture. "They made him draw what he wanted most from his past life."

So, this was how Kiba had seen me? I wondered how disappointed he must have been when they found me.

I started to hand the picture back to Tsume, no longer wanting to look at it, but something about it caught my eye. On the leg of the wolf that I'd once been were bracelets. I'd never seen jewelry on a wolf before.

As I stared at them, my eyes widened. "I've seen those before."

Hige looked over my shoulder, seeing what I was looking at. "You remember your bracelets?"

I shook my head, dropping the picture and turning to hand Snow off to Hige, who looked startled when the bundle was situated in his arms. "No." I said, grabbing at my backpack and unzipping it, digging around. "I've seen them before. I have them, actually. My neighbor, Mrs. Pennon, gave them to me."

The desperation to get to them was strong, because I'd had a link to my past life all this time, and I just hadn't known. Had Mrs. Pennon known about me? How could she have possibly gotten those exact bracelets and just _coincidentally _given them to me?

I pulled the box where I hid all the things I held dear out of my backpack, trifling around in the side pocket for the key. I missed the lock when I went to open it the first time, and the click that sounded when I finally got it in was one of the happiest moments of my life, no lie.

But upon opening the box, I stilled, a peculiar and familiar scent hitting my nose.

There, sitting proudly atop photos of my family and the bracelets I'd received from Mrs. Pennon years ago, was a Lunar Flower.

* * *

><p><em>A.N. <em>I'm terrible. Did you guys think Snow was really dead? Come on, I can't kill cute kitties. I can kill wolves that try to hurt Toboe though. Thanks to all who reviewed!


	15. Whiskers' Tale

_**Chapter 14: Whiskers' Tale**_

* * *

><p>For a moment, no one moved.<p>

I stared at the plant in my box, wracking my brain for an explanation as to how it had ended up there. I'd found the flower a few months ago in an alley, but I could've sworn I'd gotten rid of it.

But as I continued to think, I did recall placing the flower in the box. How had it not died by now?

"I knew it!" Hige cried, getting to his feet, pumping one fist into the air while the other tried to balance Snow. "I _knew_ I smelled Lunar Flowers! You thought I was just imagining it, Tsume, but Toboe had one all along! I'm not entirely crazy!"

Tsume said nothing, reaching out to pick up the flower hesitantly, like he couldn't actually believe it was there. Worried that Hige was going to harm Snow in his excitement, I stood and took the bundle from him, forgetting my discovery for a moment. Snow was way more important to me than some flower.

"Just wait 'till Kiba sees this!" Hige said excitedly. "He won't know what hit him!"

"Where did you find this, Toboe?" Tsume asked me, observing the Lunar Flower in his hands.

"In an alley a few months ago." I told him. "Snow didn't like it, so I got rid of it. But I couldn't just throw it away, so I put it in there. I completely forgot about it, though."

"She chose you." Tsume said slowly, regarding me curiously. "But you couldn't even remember who she was."

I gave him a sheepish grin. "Maybe she liked me best."

Tsume didn't laugh, and he opened his mouth to say something, but the door to the bathroom flung open before he could.

Kiba obviously smelled the Lunar Flower and had come to investigate. His eyes widened a bit when he noticed the flower in Tsume's hold. "Where did you find it?"

"Toboe had it." Hige said excitedly. "See, I knew I smelled one. We can go find Paradise now, we finally have a Lunar Flower!"

Kiba moved forward to take the plant from Tsume, observing it with cool blue eyes. "We spent so much time searching… and it was right under our noses all along."

"Sorry I forgot about it." I said. "Maybe I could've saved us all the trouble."

Kiba grinned, but it tapered off almost immediately. He handed the flower off to Hige, who in turn put it back in my box. "Tsume, come with me." He said firmly. "I need your help with something."

Tsume nodded. "Sure."

"Watch Toboe, Hige." Kiba said as he and Tsume moved for the door.

Hige nodded, throwing himself down on the bed. "Aye, aye, captain."

Once they were gone, I set Snow down gently on the bed by the pillows before sitting down myself, observing Hige. He looked absolutely giddy, but something was still bothering me. He was happy because he'd proved he wasn't crazy. Was there really cause to believe that?

Not for the first time, my thoughts wandered to his condition and what had been done to cause it. Now that I knew it wasn't just because of Lady Jaguara, but the past I couldn't remember, I was more curious than ever.

"What's up, Toboe?" Hige asked, interrupting my thoughts. "You look like you're going to be sick or something."

"I just – " I trailed off, glancing over at the bundled towel where I knew Snow was resting. I really hoped he wouldn't be offended by my prodding. "I was wondering – "

"Why I am the way I am?" Hige finished for me, either not picking up on my awkward mood or choosing to ignore it for the time being.

"More or less."

He didn't say anything for a moment, his expression blank as he stared at a spot on the wall, considering my request, happiness forgotten. I thought that maybe I'd offended him after all, and I opened my mouth to apologize, to backtrack and say I didn't have to know anything about him if he didn't want me to, but he cut me off.

"When we were reborn, we didn't remember anything." Hige said abruptly. "You know that period in your life, from infancy to five or six when you don't have much of a memory?"

I nodded. The first conscious memory from my childhood that I could actually recall was baking cookies with Mrs. Pennon when I was five. I had no idea where my siblings had been.

"You remember your past life as soon as you have conscious thought." Hige continued, adjusting his position on the bed so that he was sitting with his legs crossed, giving me his undivided attention. "For wolves, it's when you can open your eyes. I remember how it felt to be blind, back when I was a newborn. All I wanted was the warmth and milk my mother provided. There were all these little bodies crawling all over me, but I didn't know they were my sisters at the time.

"I never had to worry about anything and there was always enough to eat. There were only four pups in my litter, including myself. One of my sisters was the runt. She was born with a crippled leg, and my mother discarded her without a second thought. I think she died within four days of our birth."

I stared at Hige as he talked about the death of his sister. I'd had no idea that wolves would get rid of puppies they deemed worthless. What if the pup had been a reincarnation like us? Her second chance at life had been cut short by the one that was supposed to protect her.

"But the day I opened my eyes," Hige continued, his amber eyes closing briefly, as if trying to recall the moments of his infancy when everything had been easier. "Everything changed."

"It all came rushing back at once, every moment I'd ever lived through and every thought I'd ever had. My mother believed I had a sickness and almost expelled me like she had my sister, but something changed her mind, and she kept me close until everything calmed down within my mind. It's really strange, being trapped in a puppy's body when before you could move and do whatever you wanted before as an adult. I couldn't fight my remaining sisters off whenever they wanted to play fight, even though I knew I would've been able to, once."

"Did you ever tell anyone that you were… alive before?" I asked.

He snorted, shaking his head. "Never. I hardly knew what was happening myself. It took an entire two days for my memories to settle, but even then, everything was jumbled. My memories were scattered around, situations I'd been in altered to the point that I thought I was going crazy. The first real thought I ever processed was that my girlfriend Tsume had been killed by Lady Cheza the Third." He broke off, a small chuckle escaping him. "I was so messed up as a puppy."

"So," I began slowly, eyes narrowed in thought, "different memories were merging together to create something completely different?"

He nodded, looking quite pleased. "You're the first person to get it so quickly."

"Well, what happened once you sort of got your memory back? How did you find Kiba and Tsume?"

Hige sighed, glancing over at the door as if waiting for Tsume and Kiba to come bursting in and get mad that he was sharing so much with me. "If they hadn't found me I highly doubt I ever would've gone looking for them. After my memories settled, all I wanted was to find someone to help me. I knew I had once lived a different life, that something huge had happened to me before I was reborn.

"I didn't know I had been reborn at the time though, because my puppy mind combined with my jacked grownup mind couldn't even begin to comprehend the severity of what I'd been through. I remember whining to my mother that everything hurt, but she didn't know what I was talking about. I wanted to get out of the den and away from them, but I couldn't with my body being so fragile and new.

"So, I stayed. And after a few months had passed and I still hadn't left, I realized that I probably would never be whoever I had once been ever again. I decided to just stay and protect my mother and sisters. I tried to forget about everything I'd remembered from before, but I could never escape the attacks no matter how hard I tried."

I thought about his attacks, how sometimes he would appear to be dead and others he was as violent as anyone could ever be. What had his mother thought about him? Had she thought him mad? I pictured Hige as a tiny puppy, twitching in mental agony on the forest floor while his frightened sisters cowered underneath their mother, unsure of what was going on with their brother.

"One day, when we were about a year old, my mother took us out of the den. She was going to teach us how to hunt. I ran off with one of my sisters, as soon as Mom took her eyes off us. I remember we were stalking a deer, and that was when we heard the gunshot."

A tremor passed through his body as he retold his childhood, and for a moment, I considered telling him to stop, that if this was hurting him then I wouldn't let him keep going, but the words wouldn't take shape.

"The first stable memory came to me after I heard the shot." Hige said softly. "It was when Darcia shot you."

I hoped he wouldn't elaborate, because I didn't care to have my death rotating in my mind. Just the thought of being shot was enough to make my heart race.

"I remember my sister trying to get me to move. She wanted to find Mom, but I was rooted to my spot. The hunter found us eventually, because no matter what, my sister wouldn't leave my side. She could've gotten away, but she wouldn't leave me. The hunter approached us, gun in hand, and by then I had regained myself enough to tell her not to growl at him, that if she did, we were done for.

"I was so certain he'd killed my mom." Hige said faintly. "I told myself that since I couldn't protect you or her, I would keep my sister alive. I didn't know what had become of our other sister, and I still didn't know until the hunter's partner showed up with the tranquilizer. I woke up in the back of a truck."

I released a breath I hadn't realized I was holding, thankful that Hige had only been shot with a tranquilizer and not a real gun. But the look in Hige's eyes was starting to turn glazed, and for a moment, I feared he was slipping into his memories again. But then he blinked rapidly, a look of pure concentration on his face, and his eyes cleared.

"I couldn't move, the effects of the dart were so slow to wear off. My sister was lying next to me. I remember how terrified her eyes looked. Our mother was in front of us, but she was dead. There was rope wrapped around her muzzle, her tongue clamped between her teeth. I got so angry when I saw her like that. I knew our other sister was alive in the truck, but we couldn't see her, we just heard her whimpers.

"Then suddenly the truck stopped moving, and the two men got out of the car. I heard every sound they made as they walked around to get us, how they laughed." He broke off to laugh as well, his eyes flashing with fury. "They were proud of themselves for capturing my sisters and I and killing our mom. I could understand what they were saying, unlike my sisters. They just kept saying how easy it had been to shoot her."

I felt sick. I'd never been especially good at handling death. The earlier incident with Snow was a prime example of that. Listening to Hige recall how proud the men had been after they killed his mother left a bad taste in my mouth. What had Hige's family done to deserve that? Why had the men taken them from their home?

"They opened the back of the truck and pushed my mom aside like she was nothing," Hige continued. "They grabbed my sister, and then reached behind me to grab my other sister. We weighed so little then, it was easy for them to carry us around. I'd like to think that maybe if I'd been stronger, I would've been able to change what happened, but – " He trailed off with a sigh, running a hand through his hair restlessly. "Kiba doesn't like it when I talk about this."

"Then stop." I insisted, some part of me praying that Hige would do just that and leave me hanging, just so I could keep up a ruse that his sisters had lived, that they were fine and the hunters had left them in some other part of the woods.

"One of the men came back for me." Hige went on despite both my and Kiba's thoughts on the matter. "He lifted me out of the truck and walked me over to where the other man was waiting. They'd taken us to a spot outside Fairfield. We lived in the woods about twenty miles away. There was this bridge… well, it runs over the river, but it was frozen at the time. I think they either hoped we'd break our necks on impact or fall through the ice and drown."

_Oh, God. _"Hige – "

"They threw my sisters over first." Hige cut me off with a shake of his head. I realized then just how desperately he wanted to get this out. "I still remember the sound the first one made… God, my mom never named us, I don't even have a name to remember her by. After that, they grabbed my other sister and threw her over. Toboe, the sound she made on the way down… I can't describe it, but it haunts me day and night. I couldn't save her."

"You were tranquilized." I said, my voice cracking on the last syllable. Maybe it would have been for the best if he'd stopped talking. "And you were weak, there couldn't have been – "

"I could've attacked." He said heatedly, hands clenching into fists at his sides. "If I'd been better, I could've done something. I was weak in both mind and body, Toboe, I was _useless_ to them."

Nothing I said was going to make him think otherwise, so I opted to stay silent, even though all I wanted to do was reassure Hige that his sisters' deaths weren't his fault.

"I'd practically given up by then." Hige said. "I just closed my eyes and waited to join my sisters. I remember thinking about you, about how I didn't know exactly who you were but still agonizing over the fact that I'd never get a chance to see you again. You were the one complete thought I had, Toboe, and I didn't it let go until I felt myself falling."

"But I didn't fall far. The distance between the top of the bridge and the river was about twenty-five feet, but it felt almost instant when I landed, and it didn't hurt much at all. I thought I was dead, I kinda hoped I was dead, but then I realized I was still thinking of you.

"So, I opened my eyes, and Kiba was the first thing I saw. I didn't remember him at the time. All I saw was this white wolf that didn't look much older than myself, standing over the bodies of the hunters with blood dripping from his mouth. They were both dead within seconds."

Shock rendered me silent. The image was disturbing, far worse than when Kiba had crawled through the window earlier covered in mud and minuscule amounts of blood. The killing was brutal, but I couldn't find it in me to view Kiba as brutal as well. He'd done it to protect Hige, and that was what really mattered.

"When Kiba started walking toward me I got scared, because I thought he was going to kill me next. But then he touched the tip of my ear with his nose, and something about him fell into place. I said his name, he turned into a human and carried me to the WRA's headquarters."

"The WRA?" I echoed, the image of a blood soaked Kiba still flashing through my mind. "What's that?"

Hige's demeanor changed, then. That saddened, reminiscent look in his eyes disappeared, replaced by annoyance and distaste. "The Wolf Recovery Association." He said with a roll of his eyes. "Stupid name, I know."

"But _who _are they?"

"Don't get me wrong, what they do is good, I guess. They've helped a lot of confused wolves like yours truly find their place in the world again, but – " He paused, shaking his head. "Sometimes they're really clouded. Kiba brought me to their headquarters after he saved me. I don't think he knew just how messed up I was at the time. He just said, 'Everything will be fine, Hige,' and I didn't know what he was talking about. I didn't even know that my name was Hige, or had been at one point.

"It wasn't until after I'd been put in quarantine and the doctors started examining me that they realized I didn't remember. They brought in wolves to talk to me since I couldn't speak to them, and I didn't exactly trust humans other than Kiba, and even my willingness to open up with him had its limits. I still had attacks, and at first all I did was sulk, because I missed my sisters so much it hurt."

"But one day," a small smile appeared on Hige's face as he spoke, "they brought a wolf in to see me. I almost didn't believe it, but it was one of my sisters. She'd survived the fall, having landed on our other sister when the men dropped her. She suffered a broken leg, but it healed with time."

"That's amazing." I said truthfully, thankful that at least something had made Hige happy again after all the stuff he'd gone through.

He nodded, still smiling. "They named her Hope, which I thought was stupid, but she liked it, so I couldn't really complain. Hope wasn't a reincarnation like I was, but I didn't care. I was just glad to have her back."

"Where is she now?"

And just as quickly as it had appeared, the smile vanished. "She's fine, I guess. I haven't seen her in a few years. She was a wolf through and through and doesn't trust humans very much, not after what we went through. They sent her to a reserve for wolves a long ways away from Fairfield."

"Why didn't you go with her?" I questioned, curious. If Hige had had no idea as to where the images that been plaguing him since he opened his eyes had come from, wouldn't he have wanted to go to the reserve with his sister?

"Maybe I would have if I'd been given the opportunity." Hige said with a small shrug. "But since I was… well, _me_, they wouldn't let me go. Kiba and I were stuck."

"What does the WRA do?"

"Well, they find wolves and rehabilitate them back into society." Hige explained. "It's been almost fifty some years since it was formed, I think, by those that remembered the past and thought it was important to get the wolves back to full strength after the years of hardship we suffered. Poaching really devastated our numbers. I can't remember how many times we had to run from those who wanted us dead."

His words hurt, but they still didn't strike a nerve within me. I still didn't remember a thing. I couldn't relate with Hige, couldn't recall how it had felt to be on the run. I didn't understand, so I didn't even try to relate. I didn't want to come across as insensitive.

"They have these programs and systems." Hige went on. "There's a treatment plan for almost every kind of problem that they've seen within reborn wolves, and they share the information with those on the human side to help reborn humans with the same problems."

"What kind of problems?" I asked, though I had a prime example of one sitting right in front of me. I felt terrible for even thinking it.

Hige hesitated, opening his mouth to speak though nothing came out. Now that the terrors of having him retell the killing of his family had passed, I wanted him to tell me everything else before Kiba and Tsume returned.

"The WRA classifies their wolves by danger level." He finally admitted. "There's three different levels: Level 1 being the most dangerous and Level 3 being the least dangerous."

After a moment of thought, I asked, "What level are you?"

"They like to think of my condition as a type of Alzheimer's." He said slowly, averting his gaze from mine. "Alzheimer's mixed with PTSD and PD. After all the traumatic stuff we went through that I remembered at random times, like my death, they think Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is the leading cause of my condition. They say I'm trying to protect myself from some of the other bad things that happened, but I don't think that's the case, because I _want _to remember.

"Parkinson's Disease is what they think causes my attacks. When you see me shaking or trembling, or when my body shuts down and it looks like I'm dead, it's the PD taking over. And because of my instability, not knowing whether I'm going to try and kill somebody during an episode or shut down to the point where I stop breathing and I might die, I'm ranked as a Level 1, Danger to Society and Self."

After that, he fell silent and didn't speak again, leaving me to mull over what he'd said. I'd just learned more about certain diseases than I had in all my years of schooling.

Hige was a danger to himself and others. I thought about the bruise underneath my eye, or rather, the one that had been there yesterday. I'd caught a glimpse of my reflection when I was cleaning Snow. The dark bruise was gone, just like Hige had said it would. Hige was sometimes dangerous, but it wasn't his fault. I didn't blame him, and nobody else should either.

"Can they fix you?" I found myself asking.

"They've developed a medicine." He said. "A pill. It calms me down enough so I don't have attacks as often if I remember something different, and it helps me sort out my memories."

"Do you still take it?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because there aren't a lot in production and there are those out there that need them more than I do." He said, as if it were really that simple.

"Hige – "

"I'm not the only one that can't sort through his memories with ease, you know." He said, almost sounding angry. "Some don't have links to their pasts that can help them remember. The medicine is all they have."

"I never said you needed it more than they do." I said slowly, trying to refrain from upsetting him further. But to me, Hige needed it more because I cared for him more than I did the others, as terrible as it sounded. "But if the WRA thinks you're a danger to society, why are you out here and not with them?"

"Because of Kiba." He replied. "He's well respected in the WRA. His parents are wolves that work as human doctors and study wolves like Kiba and I to find cures for our problems. His brother Dante works in the Rehabilitation Department of the WRA. No wolf leaves the WRA's headquarters without being screened by Dante first."

"So, Dante let you leave?"

Hige's eyes narrowed, a small growl escaping him. "If it were up to Dante, I'd never see the light of day. Kiba got fed up with the system a few years back, and we left and never looked back."

"What was so wrong with it?" I asked. It must have been bad if Kiba had lost his temper and stormed out, taking Hige with him.

"It's not my tale to tell." Hige said, much to my chagrin. "I don't really know fully just how agitated Kiba was by the whole thing. He doesn't talk about what happened before he found me much. You'll have to ask him if you really want to know."

I nodded. I supposed I could live with that. "So, how did Kiba know to come get you when you were being dropped off the bridge? How'd he even know it was you?"

"I ask myself that question a lot." Hige admitted, maneuvering himself so he was laying on his back, gazing up at the ceiling. "Kiba says that he was just in the area when he saw my sisters hitting the ice. He went to check things out, saw me, and killed the guys. He said he knew it was me because of my scent and appearance. I think he took a huge gamble."

"Did you guys take a gamble with me?"

Hige glanced over at me, considering my question. "No one really believed me when I said I'd found you. I see things when I'm awake sometimes, people that aren't really there, noises, stuff like that. They thought I was hallucinating when I told them I saw you outside Sal's that day. So, I guess it was a gamble, but one we were willing to take."

I sniffed, glancing away. "How long did it take for you to trust Kiba?"

"It wasn't until I'd been taught how to turn into a human again that I started putting things together." Hige said, not saying anything about my obvious attempt at changing the subject. "When I was a year old wolf, I had the body of a seven-year-old boy. No one really knows how we age anymore, what with the rollover years. We can be fifteen in human years, stay a wolf for an entire year, and then turn human again only to have the body of a twenty-two year old.

"Kiba, Tsume and I have aged normally because we spend a lot of time in both states. We shift regularly, unlike the others. Kiba was three in wolf years but had the body of a nine-year-old. He came into my room one day, looking a bit like the boy I'd seen so often in my flashbacks. He sat down in a chair and just stared at me for a long time. Neither of us spoke, and then Dante came in to get him half an hour later.

"After that, he came back every day, but he never spoke to me unless I was the one initiating conversation." His voice dropped an octave. "He was the only one that let me progress at my own pace. He didn't push me, and because of that, I trusted him. When the day came that I finally remembered him, all the reserves vanished and Kiba became the brother I'd never had. Or at least, that's how half of me saw him."

"Half?" I echoed. "What do you mean?"

"When Kiba saved me that day, the part of my brain that was still a puppy formed an attachment to Kiba that I'm never going to be able to escape. It's more of a father-son relationship, and because of that Kiba's the only one that can get me out of my trances. But when I get violent, Tsume has to step in, because Kiba can't – "

Hige cut himself off, holding his breath for a moment before releasing it heavily. "Anyway, even if I remember more than I did a few years ago, and I know that Kiba's nothing more than an extremely good friend to me, I still treat him as if it's his job to take care of me when I start to panic. He should've just left me with the WRA. I'm such a burden to him."

The last part was said in a voice little above a whisper, but I could hear the pain behind it.

"No, Hige, Kiba _wants _to help you." I said firmly, nodding my head a little for emphasis. "It's not an obligation. You mean so much to him." It was amazing that I could gather that much just from being with them for a little under two months. Maybe it was my old self emerging. After all, he had known them better than I did. "All he wants is for you to be okay."

Hige let out a breath that I thought was supposed to be a laugh. "Can we talk about something else?"

I nodded, picking up on how distressed he was beginning to sound. "When did you guys meet up with Tsume?"

"I lived within the WRA for four years after Kiba rescued me." Hige started in on another story, now more at ease. "I was eleven at the time, Kiba was thirteen, and one night, Kiba just stormed into my room and said, 'Hige, we're leaving.' I didn't want to leave at first. It had been drilled into my head since the day arrived that I was to never leave the safety of the WRA where I could be monitored. But the old pack structure we'd once had came into play, I listened to Kiba, because he was the boss."

"Kiba was our pack leader?" I wasn't very surprised. I had done the exact same thing on the day Hige had gotten Snow to chase him in an effort to lead me to their apartment. Kiba said jump, and I asked how high. Just another instilled reaction from my past life that I had ignored.

Hige nodded. "I wasn't sure where we were going, but since Hope was gone, I wasn't going to let Kiba slip away from me. I thought we'd have to sneak out, 'cause security is pretty tight. There are a lot of people that would love to sneak in and kill a couple wolves in the night if they figured out what went on behind closed doors. To the people of Fairfield, the WRA building is a place for abused dogs."

"You mean the giant white building close to the forest?" I asked. I remembered it clearly. I'd walked by it a hundred times on my way to the woods when I was a kid. I'd been so close to them, yet I hadn't known. None of us had.

"The same one. Anyway, I thought we'd have to sneak out, but Kiba only took my hand and marched me out the door. There were a lot of abandoned buildings and apartments at the time, and Kiba just picked one out, and the rest is history. The both of us fixed it up and it became home.

"At first, I was so sure that the WRA employees would come and take me back, but Kiba said not to worry, so I didn't, and they never came. A few months after we left though, there was a knock at the door. I hid behind the couch like a coward while Kiba went to answer the door. I didn't recognize Tsume at first because he wasn't wearing the biker looking stuff I'd seen in my flashbacks. He was fifteen at the time, and when Kiba answered the door, he just waltzed right in like he owned the place."

Hige laughed, a pure one this time. "I remember how annoyed Kiba looked, but he was surprised, too. He hadn't expected Tsume to come to our place. The first thing Tsume said was, 'Why's the human garbage disposal hiding behind the couch?'"

"I don't know what possessed me to do it, but I flung myself at him and hugged him. I didn't know who he was fully, but I did know I was happy to see him. So, Tsume moved in with us, and two years later, he and Kiba had saved enough money to rent the apartment where we were living when I first saw you. By then everything had already fallen into place within my mind, and the long process of sorting through my memories began."

"Where did Tsume come from? How had he known to find you?"

"Tsume was born within the WRA like Kiba, but in a different branch. The headquarters is in Fairfield, but there are different extensions all over the place. Word spread about Kiba and me, and Tsume came looking for us. He went to the Fairfield WRA building first, but they told him we'd flown the coop. Kiba never told anyone where we were, so Tsume had to track us."

"That's dedication." I mused. "Sounds like he cares more than he likes to let on."

Hige nodded, letting out a small chuckle. "That's Tsume for you. He's such a pansy sometimes when it comes to emotions."

The both of us laughed, but my mind was starting to wander. I wondered what Tsume's condition had been, if he'd had one at all. Hige had memory issues, and Kiba… well, Kiba was so closed off sometimes, I didn't even know where to start with him, but Tsume seemed so normal. If anything was wrong, he hid it well.

I jumped when I felt something wet on my arm, and I shifted on the bed, raising my arm in a defensive position. Blue eyes stared up at me expectantly, a pair of ears pressing tightly against a small, white head.

"Snow." I breathed, lowering my arm.

She let out a quiet mew, starting to creep closer, looking slightly uncertain. I didn't know if she thought I was someone else or if she'd believed I was going to strike her, but I didn't care.

I picked her up gently, being mindful of her injuries and protruding ribs as hugged her. She sniffed at me carefully, unsure, and then licked my finger, pressing the top of her head underneath my chin.

"She really loves you." Hige said from the other bed, watching the two of us sadly. "I feel bad that you had to leave her behind in the first place."

"Well, she's here now." I muttered. The scent of her fur was a mixture of soap, pine needles and blood, but there was something clinging to her that I recognized. Home. The ache was strong, had been since I watched the vigil, and an idea struck me. "Hige?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I – Can I call my mom?"

He blinked at me, suddenly looking uneasy. "Toboe – "

"I don't want to leave." I said quickly, scratching the back of Snow's neck uneasily. "I want to help you guys save the world, but… I just feel so guilty for leaving the way I did. I want her to know that I'm okay."

"I don't know if Kiba and Tsume would like that." He said unsurely, pushing himself into a sitting position and eyeing the cell phone Kiba had left behind as if he expected me to make a grab for it.

"Please, Hige?" I was practically begging. "I can't move on if I don't do this. What if I don't want to go back home once this is over? They'll go on thinking I'm dead, and we'll have to stay in hiding forever. It'll be really quick, I _promise_."

Hige eyed me warily, and for a heart wrenching moment, I was sure he was going to say no. But then he sighed and reached for the phone, tossing it over to me. "Try and make it from thirty seconds to a minute."

I nodded quickly, shifting Snow into my right arm while I hastily dialed my mother's cell phone number. I'd learned a trick from Airi a few years back where you could hide the number you were calling from, so I did just that before going forth with the call. There was no need to have Kiba change his phone number just because my mom had it.

The atmosphere was tense as I sat there, listening to the ringing. Hige watched with observant eyes while Snow remained in my hold, keeping perfectly still aside from an occasional twitch of the ear.

After six rings, I heard a tired, "Hello?"

My reaction was instantaneous. I started to cry, and Hige jolted on the bed, resisting the urge to take the phone from me. I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. My mom was on the other end of the line. It was almost too good to be true. But was this a good idea? Would I only harm the situation by contacting her?

When I heard her sigh in preparation to hang up the phone, probably thinking it was just a prank call, I panicked. "Mom?"

There was a long silence during which I was certain I was going to die from anticipation and fear. "_Toboe_? Oh, my God, baby, are you alright?"

I nodded even though she couldn't see, biting the inside of my cheek. "I – I'm fine."

"Where are you?" She was crying as well, the same joy and fear that I felt present in her voice. But this wasn't a reunion type of call. This was more of a goodbye of sorts. "What happened? If those boys hurt you, I swear, they'll be locked away for the rest of their lives."

"Mom, no – "

"Just run to the police, baby, and they'll bring you home. Oh, Toboe, honey, I'm so sorry this happened, I never should've – "

"Mom, _listen _to me." I said desperately, clutching at Snow tightly. "I'm okay, I'm fine, but I'm not coming home yet. They didn't take me, I went with them on my own."

Hige stiffened suddenly, body jerking towards the door. I knew what his behavior meant. Tsume and Kiba were returning. What with the blood pounding in my ears, it wasn't a shock that I hadn't heard them from down the hall, but now I had to hurry before we were busted. Hige would get in serious trouble if they found out what he'd let me do.

He got up as I struggled to find the words to comfort my mom, moving over to the door and sliding the chain lock into place, bracing his weight against it. "You better hurry, dude."

"Toboe, what are you – are they making you say this? Officer Katoba warned me that – "

"I can't stay." I choked out, blinking tears out of my eyes. "I just called so you would know I'm okay. I – I saw the vigil on TV."

"Toboe – "

I heard the beep as Tsume entered the card key, but with Hige in the way and the lock in place, the door wouldn't budge.

"Don't worry about me, and please don't be angry." I said. "I wouldn't have left if it wasn't for something important." Tsume was saying something to Hige, and Hige went pale. I was running out of time. "Tell the police I'm okay, alright? Kiba, Hige, and Tsume aren't going to hurt me, Mom. Please, just trust me."

"Baby, I can't – " I jumped as Tsume started pounding on the door. "What's that noise? Toboe, what's going on?" She was growing frantic. This had been a terrible idea.

"Mom, I – " Hige's eyes widened, and he sprang away from the door just as the chain gave way and Tsume came slamming in. Apparently the both of us had underestimated his strength. The first thing Kiba and Tsume saw was me sitting on the bed, red-faced and teary-eyed, phone in one hand and cat in the other. "I love you."

"_Toboe – "_

The phone was ripped from my grasp, leaving me trembling and Snow in a fit of hissing as Kiba abruptly ended the call, his expression completely livid. I was crying so hard I was starting to hiccup, and I buried my face in Snow's fur, humiliated and frightened. I'd never seen anybody look so angry.

"What the hell was that, Hige?" I heard Tsume snap.

"He wanted to talk to his mom." Was Hige's careful reply. I knew how anxious he must've been, but he did a good job of hiding it. "I just thought – "

The sound of something hitting the wall cut him off, and I flinched, screwing my eyes shut. I was too afraid to see what had happened.

"You thought what?" Kiba demanded. "Dammit, Hige, what possessed you to let him do that? Cell phones can be tracked. His mom can call the police and they'll be on us in a heartbeat!"

"Kiba, I'm sorry, I just – "

"You don't think these things through, Hige." Kiba snarled, and even if I couldn't see him, I imagined how feral he must've looked. An image of a white wolf with blood dripping from its mouth filled my mind, and I knew the same thing was happening to Hige. "You don't think, and you get us all into trouble. You're childish and impulsive, and we don't need that right now. I am _this _close to taking you back to the WRA and leaving you there for good. Is that what you want?"

After a few moments of tense silence with nothing but the sound of my sobs and Snows agitated growls and hisses, Hige replied with a soft, "No."

And that was the end of it. I heard the sound of the door opening and closing, and Kiba was gone. I still wouldn't lift my head, and I flinched again when Tsume spoke.

"He didn't mean that, Porky."

"Yeah, he did."

"He's just upset. What you did was reckless. I get that you wanted to let Toboe talk to his mom, but that could be hazardous to us. We really need to stay here in Solerno, but we can't do that if the police are sniffing around."

Hige didn't say anything, and Tsume released an agitated sigh. Then the sound of a door closing reached my ears, and I realized Tsume was in the bathroom, leaving me with Hige and Snow.

It took me a moment to collect myself, and when I finally managed to stop crying, I removed my face from Snow's now extremely damp fur. I looked to the wall, seeing the remains of what had once been Kiba's cell phone.

He'd thrown it at the wall in anger, completely destroying it.

I slowly shifted my gaze to Hige, unsure of how he was fairing. He was sitting on the bed across from me, staring at the destroyed cell phone as well. Or at least that's what I thought at first.

After a few moments had passed and he still didn't move, I realized his eyes were unfocused and vacant. He was lost again.

Something about the blank look on his face moved something within me, and suddenly I was angry. Kiba should have yelled at me instead. I had already been worse for wear, nothing he said would've changed that.

Hige had tried to warn me. He'd only been trying to help.

With the tears starting to evaporate from the heat of my skin, I set Snow down gently and stormed out the door, determined to track Kiba down.

* * *

><p>Airi was with Dante when Toboe called.<p>

They'd been at the WRA headquarters, Airi watching with critical eyes as Dante filed paperwork, practically ignoring her presence. It had been like that for the entire three weeks that she'd known him, and it was starting to get old.

After their run-in on the street, the dark-haired man had rarely strayed from Airi's thoughts. Kato and Hiro hadn't reported the incident to their mother, because then they would've gotten in trouble for letting Airi out of their sight. She'd sat in her room for a few days afterwards, doing nothing but staring at the card he'd given her, phone in hand.

But she never called. He'd told her to call if she had questions, and he could answer none of the ones she had. Where was her brother? Where had Snow run off to? Eventually though, her curiosity about the strange man had gotten the better of her, and she dialed the number.

Dante had answered, not at all surprised at hearing from her, telling her to meet him in the exact spot where they'd first met. After escaping her mother and brothers' watchful gazes, she hurried through town, anxious to meet up with Dante for a reason she couldn't explain. He'd been right where he said he would be, and that had been the routine for the past three weeks.

Airi met with him every other day, and he would always take her to the white building that she had once believed to be a home for deranged dogs. She'd been suspicious about his motives at first, but the things she'd learned inside the walls of the WRA building were… _mind-blowing_ to say the least.

Her visits had been nothing more than chats between friends, or so Dante had called it, during which she gave him as little information as possible. Even if the guy was alluring in a mysterious kind of way, Airi hadn't trusted him at all.

She met with him mainly out of curiosity and boredom. Sitting at home all day and listening to the phone ring as person after annoying person called to offer their condolences to her mother wasn't in Airi's definition of fun, and with Olivia under heat after her parents found out that she'd snuck out of the house, she had no one to hang out with.

She'd needed something to take her mind off of her amazing life, and that something had been Dante.

The guy was cute, Airi had to admit, but there was more to it than good looks, at least from her point of view. She wasn't one of those girls that claimed to like bad boys, but she did, however, like guys with confidence.

Dante was one of those guys. He never stumbled over his words, never backed down from a tough question, and sure as hell never second-guessed himself. He reminded Airi of herself in a lot of ways. Not that she was looking for a boyfriend or anything. A girl just couldn't help but look.

There had been no beating around the bush once Dante had deemed Airi trustworthy. "This place isn't for rehabilitating abused dogs." He'd told her one afternoon. "WRA stands for Wolf Recovery Association. Jade is a wolf, and so am I."

Now Airi wasn't stupid, but she wasn't a genius either. His words had both confused and amused her. She'd even accused him of being on drugs. But when he'd changed into a wolf before her very eyes, a huge, black beast with piercing yellow eyes, she shut up and didn't say anything else on the matter.

Wolves could turn human? Well, she'd seen and heard stranger. As long as Dante didn't try to murder her, she was cool with whatever.

Dante said that a long time ago, the world had ended, but it had been reborn, along with everyone who'd been alive at the time, and thus the WRA was born. Airi wasn't sure what to believe, but she'd humored him and listened to everything he said.

And now, in some twisted, alternate universe, Airi had found herself job, working as an intern for a wolf-man that she'd known for three weeks.

At first, her mother hadn't believed her when she said she'd gotten a job, but when she came home with her first paycheck, things changed. She was finally allowed to leave the house without Kato or Hiro accompanying her so long as it was to go to work, which Airi never fully considered actual work.

All she really did was play with some of the younger, less dangerous wolves when their parents or siblings were out for treatment, and when she wasn't doing that, she was in Dante's office, watching as he did paperwork, hence her current state of boredom.

She sighed dramatically, leaning back in her chair. Dante's pen stopped moving for a second as he looked up at her, a reserved look of annoyed patience in his eyes. Airi hadn't known previously that the two emotions could coexist.

"Can I help you with something, Airi?" He asked, a little too sweetly for Airi's taste.

"Find me something to do." She demanded, fiddling with the sleeve of her long-sleeved white shirt. "I'm bored."

Her wardrobe had undergone a drastic change in her time of brief employment under Dante. She wasn't allowed to wear jewelry of any kind – she'd even had to get rid of her belly-button ring – and the only color that the wolves could see that wouldn't frighten them was white.

It was only a select few that reacted to color, but Dante didn't want Airi taking any chances. White shirts and sweaters had been given to her, but she could wear her own jeans if she wanted.

Dante set his pen down, leaning back in his chair to observe her with calculating eyes. "Are you telling me that you don't like getting paid to do nothing of importance?"

"Why would you pay me to do nothing of importance?" She challenged, hoisting herself to her feet to wander around the office aimlessly.

Dante really didn't seem like the office type, and Airi had learned that was indeed the case. He'd get out of this place any chance he got. That was why it was his job to take the wolves out into the real worldm as well as do their paperwork and determin if they were safe enough to be set free. Dante truly held all the power when it came to their freedom.

"This whole arrangement is suspicious to me." Airi continued. "For all I know, you're trying to butter me up and make me comfortable around you so you can swoop in to defile me once my back is turned."

Dante's eyes tracked her as she walked across the room to observe the certificates and papers hung up on his walls. "If I wanted to defile you, don't you think I would've done it by now?"

Airi shrugged, running her right pointer finger across the glass that framed Dante's high school diploma. Dante Connolly. The guy was supposedly smart, too, already a sophomore in college when he should've been graduating high school. "Hey, I don't know the inner workings of your mind. My job is to run errands, not your life."

Dante chuckled, getting to his feet. "Well, if you're that bored, I suppose we can go to the nursery. A litter of pups was just born a few hours ago."

Airi considered that for a moment before nodding. She tended to like the younger wolves more than the older ones. They were more playful and fun whereas the adults were boring and weary.

Dante gestured for Airi to leave the office first, shutting the door once she was in the hall and locking it behind him. "Lead the way, Wolf Boy." Airi said.

Dante didn't react, instead walking down the hall at a brisk pace, leaving Airi to catch up. Maybe his confident demeanor wasn't as cracked up as Airi thought it to be. He never lost his temper and didn't rise to Airi's goading like Kato or Hiro would have. They exchanged banter if Dante wasn't ignoring her, but Airi loved a good challenge. Cracking his façade was what she was focusing on now.

The halls of the WRA building were colorful to a certain extent, despite the "white" policy. In the wing where Dante's office was located, the floors were clad with blue carpet, the walls a dark red. Airi and Dante would've stood out like sore thumbs if it wasn't what the patrons and employees were used to.

But when they entered the wolves' wing, things changed. Everything was white, and the lighting was really dim so the brightness didn't hurt their eyes. In that part of the building, Airi blended in well, aside from her jeans and hair.

Upon entering the nursery, Airi was assaulted with the scent of milk and puppies. The wolves Airi encountered had their own specific scent, and though Airi would never say so out loud, she loved the smell of puppies.

There was a brown wolf in a pen at the far side of the room, curled around a litter of four puppies. A woman was in the room, a doctor, sitting close by and observing the mother and her newborns.

Airi recognized the black hair and brown eyes. That was Dante's mother, Liv Connolly. She'd met the woman once or twice already, and she seemed kind of flighty, insisting that Airi call her Liv instead of Dr. Connolly. She couldn't sit still for very long and never seemed to stop talking. Now, however, she was quiet.

Liv looked up as they entered, a small smile appearing on her face. "Hey, sweetheart. Hello, Airi."

"How are they?" Dante asked, completely in business mode. He never showed his mother much affection, at least not when Airi was around.

The woman sighed, glancing over at the dosing mother. "The light brown pup with the white muzzle is showing signs of aggression. We might have to remove it if it starts fighting with the other three over milk. The black one keeps whimpering in its sleep, and the other two haven't shown any signs of abnormalities yet. We'll have to keep monitoring them for the next couple days."

"Does Daisy know?" Airi questioned, eyeing the sleeping mother.

It had been Airi's job to feed the pregnant she-wolf in the weeks she'd been employed there. Daisy could never turn into a human to talk with Airi since expecting mothers were warned against shifting during pregnancy. The effects on the pups could be harmful, so they stayed in wolf form for the entirety of the gestation period.

"No mother wants to believe that something is wrong with her babies." Liv said, getting to her feet. "Telling her wouldn't change anything. I'm just glad that Dante and his brother both turned out so normal."

Airi smirked, though Dante said nothing. Airi had never met Dante's brother, hadn't even seen a picture of him, but she knew the two didn't get along. Liv mentioned him often, though she never called him by name. Whenever that happened, Dante either excused himself or left the conversation.

It seemed that his brother was his only weakness. Airi was debating whether she should exploit it or not.

She hadn't had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Connolly. Dante said he was busy most of the time and neither he nor his mother saw him much. Airi wondered just what it was that the man did.

"Airi, would you like to hold one of the pups?" Liv asked, her voice almost trembling with excitement.

"Mother, she's not trained to – " Dante started to protest, but Airi cut him of, smacking his shoulder.

"I would _love _to." She said, moving forward to stand beside the woman. "I'll be careful with it."

Liv nodded, seemingly pleased, while Dante stared on with that _look _on his face. It was as close to being peeved as Airi had ever seen him. Liv opened the gate to the pen slowly, carefully extracting one of the pups.

Daisy opened her eyes at the disturbance, but Airi had learned by now that these wolves weren't like normal animals. Instinct should have made the she-wolf snap and attack Liv for taking her pup.

But even if those instincts were still present, Daisy knew that Liv meant no harm, so she only licked one of her other pups before closing her eyes again. Liv gently handed the dark brown wolf pup over to Airi, and the blue-eyed girl observed the puppy critically.

It was so tiny, so small in size that it was awkward to coddle the thing like it was a human baby. She kept her arms pressed tightly to her ribs so the pup wouldn't slip out of her arms. It was an exact copy of Daisy, and Airi wondered if it would have its mother's light blue eyes as well.

"It's… cute." Airi admitted, glancing up to look at Dante and his mother.

Liv placed a hand over her heart, reaching over to push Dante's shoulder lightly. The dark-haired man crossed his arms over his chest, his head tilting to the side slightly as he observed Airi and the newborn pup. She ignored him, however, completely engrossed with the tiny creature.

When she was little, she'd never wanted to have kids. Now however, she kind of wanted one of her own. If it would be as cute as the puppy, and she got the same feeling whenever she looked at it, being a mom didn't sound so bad.

The peaceful mood was broken however, when Airi's cell phone began to ring.

Dante snapped out of his observant state and growled, taking the now squirming pup away from Airi. "What did I tell you about bringing your cell phone in here?"

But Airi was already out the door. Her mother was calling, and she never called Airi's cell phone. "What's wrong?" She demanded when she picked up.

Her mother was crying. "You need to come home, Airi. Something happened."

"What?" Airi's heart started to race. "What happened?"

"Toboe – "

That was all Airi needed to hear. "I'll be home in ten minutes." She said quickly, snapping the phone shut.

"Leaving before your shift ends? I might just have to fire you, Asher."

Dante had exited the nursery, closing the door softly behind him. Airi turned to face him fully. "I have to leave." She said. "Something came up with my brother."

Dante watched her face carefully. "Which brother are we talking about?"

"The missing one." She said drily, turning to make her escape.

"Airi, wait." She stopped, but didn't turn. He approached her from behind, stopping so he was just a few inches away from touching her. Airi stared straight ahead as Dante leaned down so his mouth was right next to her ear. She was five seconds away from slapping him. "You have your back turned. Are you comfortable around me now?"

"You won't be comfortable around me if I knee you in the jewels." Airi said, continuing in her journey down the hall. "I have three brothers, Dante, but nice try." The sound of his laughter was the last thing she heard as she exited the wolves' wing.

After grabbing her bag and leaving the establishment, she walked calmly down the street for a few blocks until the WRA building was out of sight – just as Dante had instructed her to do – before breaking into a run. If her mother was in tears, then something terrible had happened to Toboe. She didn't even want to think of the possibilities.

The gate was open when Airi ran up, and she burst into the house still fighting to catch her breath. "I'm home!"

"Upstairs!" Came the faint reply. It was Hiro.

Airi threw her bag down on the ground and bounded up the steps two at a time, walking down the hall until she reached her mother's bedroom, where all the noise was coming from.

Hiro and Kato were sitting on their mother's bed, consoling the crying woman to the best of their abilities. In the past month, Hiro had slowly pulled himself out of his funk, but he was still more quiet and sullen than he'd ever been before. Their family was growing closer, Airi thought as she crawled onto the bed to sit with them, and it was all because Toboe was gone.

Her mother and brothers were circled around her mother's cell phone, and Airi stared at it. "What happened?"

"Toboe called." Kato said lowly, holding their mother's hand as she sobbed into Hiro's shoulder. "He said he left on purpose."

Airi shared a glance with Hiro, because that had been his theory on the whole situation all along. But the confirmation made it all the more painful.

"He wouldn't do that!" Her mother cried, taking the tissue that Airi offered her. "They probably made him say it, Toboe wouldn't – he _wouldn't _leave us."

Airi had a sinking feeling in her stomach as she began to wonder if maybe this wasn't just because of Toboe.

Airi had always viewed their mom as a somewhat weak individual. After being abandoned by her parents and then her boyfriend, this new development with Toboe was probably bringing back a lot of painful scars.

"Are you sure it was him?" Airi asked carefully.

Her mother glared at her through her tears. "I know the sound of my own child's voice."

Airi held up her hands submissively, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. "Never said you didn't, Mom. I was just trying to make sure."

Her mother broke down in sobs once more. "There was this awful banging in the background. Toboe sounded like he was rushing to get everything out. Then he said, 'I love you' and the call disconnected. Even if he did run away, I – oh, I just _know _something terrible is happening to him! He has to come home."

Hiro opened his mouth to say something, probably to add that maybe Toboe didn't want to come home like he had said to Airi a few weeks ago, but Kato cut him off. "Mom, if you take the phone to the police, they can trace the call." He said, still holding her hand. "But you'd have to hurry, I'm not sure how long the window of opportunity to check the towers is."

Airi winced as her mother gasped, her eyes widening in realization. "Oh, God, I forgot about that! Oh, kids, I'll be back. I have to – to go to the station."

Their mother snatched up her cell phone and got off the bed, leaving the three siblings in their own circle of unease as she raced out of the room, phone and car keys in hand.

"Why'd you do that, Kato?" Hiro sighed. "If Toboe ran away then he obviously doesn't want to be found."

"I don't know about you, but I'm tired of watching Mom suffer like that." Kato said. "Toboe needs to come home whether he wants to or not."

"Why?" Airi asked. "If he's not happy then why make _him _suffer?"

"It's against the law for kids his age to run away." Kato said urgently. "If Mom says that's what happened, then they'll take him to juve for running."

"So, this is your messed up way of protecting him?"

He nodded. " I don't know why Toboe made a break for it, but if we say anything, he'll get in trouble. We can't tell the police the truth." They all looked at the window as the sound of their mother's car peeling out of the driveway was heard. "I just hope Mom has enough sense left to do the same."

"So, we're just going to let Kiba and Hige take the heat for Toboe's decision?" Hiro pried.

Kato rolled his eyes, suddenly angry. "I still blame them. They could've stopped him from leaving. They could've refused to take him with them."

"Maybe they saw how unhappy he was." Airi said, fiddling with the sleeve of her shirt like she had in Dante's office. She suddenly wanted to be back there. Dealing with Dante was easier than dealing with this. "Maybe they cared enough to get his ass out of here."

Neither of her brothers said anything, and Airi straightened her back, preparing to make her exit.

"Were we really that bad?" Kato asked quietly.

Airi sighed while Hiro nodded. "Yeah, we were."

"I miss hearing his voice." Kato admitted in a low grumble. "He was always so happy."

"Life hadn't sucked his energy out of him yet." Airi added with a small sigh, sliding off the bed. "That would've changed once he started high school."

"Did you see that interview with that Ellie girl?" Hiro said. "Maybe if Toboe stayed he'd have a girlfriend right now."

Airi left the room after that. She was tired of hearing the phrase "what if." What if Toboe had stayed? What if they had been better siblings?

In the long run, the 'what ifs' didn't really matter, because more than likely, they were never going to find out. Toboe wasn't going to come back, of that Airi was certain. Why would he even want to?

Airi pulled out her cell phone, dialing numbers absentmindedly before pressing her phone to her ear. After a few rings, she heard, "Missing me already, Airi?"

"Can I come back in?"

"Why would you want to? Did something happen?"

Airi didn't say anything for a moment, glancing back towards her mother's room where Hiro and Kato were still talking quietly to one another. "Everything happened. I just want to smell the puppies."

"We'll be waiting for you when you get here."

* * *

><p><em>A.N. <em>I adore Kiba. Hate it when I have to make him a jerk for plot's sake, but... man it's painful. He's not really a jerk just... well, he's backed up in a corner, poor guy. Thank you to all who reviewed!


	16. Jagged Pieces

_**Chapter 15: Jagged Pieces**_

* * *

><p>Locating Kiba wasn't particularly hard once I'd cleared ever floor of the hotel.<p>

I wasn't especially talented at being a wolf since I'd only known for less than twenty-four hours, but when I put my dormant senses to the test, I was able to follow the faint scent of blood to the roof.

Upon opening the door leading outside, I was assaulted with a strong wind. The scent of rain still hung heavily in the air, and I thought back to what Tsume had said about natural disasters. I'd always loved rain, but would it be the end of everything I held dear at some point?

Kiba was sitting on a raised slab of concrete in the middle of the roof, leaning against a generator of some sort. One leg was bent at the knee, the other stretched out before him, and his left arm was resting on his bent knee.

As I moved closer, I could see a small trickle of blood running down his forearm, either dropping to the cold concrete below or staining the fabric of his jeans. The frustration I felt towards him turned into worry, but I pushed it away as quickly as it appeared.

Kiba was fine, but because of what he'd said and done, Hige was suffering. That couldn't be ignored, even if Kiba hadn't meant to harm his friend in such a way. But then I remembered that Kiba was hurt because of me, and I didn't have the heart to yell like I'd wanted.

"Are you going to treat that?" I asked, my voice carrying in the wind.

Blue eyes flickered over to me for a heartbeat before darting away again, looking out over the large expanse of land to the east. "Maybe later. They aren't bothering me."

I knew it was a lie, but I didn't call him out on it, only lowered myself to the ground so I was sitting across from him, hoping the ground beneath me was at least semi-dry.

I didn't want to get into things too quickly, but I also didn't want to stay out there for very long. Snow was still weak after spending weeks out on the streets, and I wanted to make sure Hige was okay, not that I didn't trust Tsume to watch him.

"Hige told me about the WRA." I stated curtly, deciding no to beat around the bush. "And about his condition."

Kiba didn't look that surprised, but he didn't look particularly happy either. He turned his head to look at me fully, dark bangs obscuring his eyes for the most part. It was nearly impossible to figure out what he was thinking. "What exactly did he tell you?"

"Everything he knew. Except for your condition, of course. He refused to tell me."

"So, you came out here to ask me about it?"

"I came out here because Hige's lost in his memories back in the room." I said, though there was no malice in my voice. Being angry and staying that way had never been my strong suit. "I came out here because you did that."

His eyes narrowed slightly, but he didn't say anything at first, instead wiping at the blood that was slowly starting to increase in quantity. I watched him through critical eyes.

"I didn't mean it." He said eventually. "I would never take him back there, not ever. And he does act like a child at times, but that's not necessarily a bad thing."

"So, why'd you say it?" I inquired, the image of his broken cell phone flashing through my mind. "What happened back there?"

"I'm sure Hige explained the whole danger level thing, right?" Kiba said, diving right into the issue at hand. "He's high risk, and if he wasn't who he is, they would've euthanized him a long time ago."

Euthanized. My stomach clenched painfully at the word. There was nothing humane about it unless there was absolutely no hope for the animal. Hige wasn't a lost cause, but it didn't seem like anybody was willing to help him aside from Kiba, Tsume, and I.

"Not every reborn wolf or human is born with a problem." Kiba continued. "It's common, but there are a few who managed to escape any ailments when passing from one world to the next. You, Hige, Tsume, and I weren't as lucky as some."

"There were three pups in my litter, my brother, my sister, and myself. My sister was euthanized a few hours after our birth. She was reborn like I was, or so they say, but she was… insane, to put it simply. Even as a pup that couldn't open its eyes, she snarled and howled. They think she was like Hige, but worse, and she was a threat to Dante and I's survival, so they put her down."

As I listened to him speak, I thought back to what Hige had said about his sisters, and I was more thankful than I could ever remember being for my brothers and Airi. I supposed that even if I'd been born without my memory and had never gotten it back, at least I'd lived a moderately normal life within my human family.

We'd all been healthy and normal, but my siblings had gone down a rockey path while I stayed behind, yearning for the past I couldn't recall. I wondered if maybe, had things been different and I wasn't the reincarnation of Howling, I would've turned out just like my siblings.

"When I was born, Liv and Joshua, my parents, said they knew something was off about me. Liv and Joshua are both Black wolves, as is Dante, but I was white-furred. An Arctic wolf." Kiba sighed a little, as if retelling his birth and early childhood was the worst thing that had ever happened to him. "And in the WRA, long before I was born, Arctic wolves were carefully observed and analyzed, because they were looking for me."

"How did they know about you? About us?" I asked. "Hige tried to explain it, but I'm still confused."

"The founder of the WRA was a woman named Cher Lebowski." Kiba explained, and a strong wind bore down on us, moving the hair out of his eyes. I'd never seen anyone look so haunted. "She was a woman from our past. She lost her life trying to help us, and for some reason, she was pulled from the afterlife, just like we were. She died before any of us did and didn't know what had really happened, but she started the WRA to help the wolves that suffered from the effects of living two lives as well as locate the five of us."

"But why?" I questioned, repeating the woman's name in my head. No pain-filled flashes, no signs of remorse, nothing. How important had she been to me? "Why try to find us?"

"I'm not sure." Kiba said darkly. "She wanted to thank us, supposedly. She thought we stopped Darcia and the new world was created because we'd succeeded. But that's not the truth. Cheza's seeds just managed to take root before everything came to an end. It was nothing but a stroke of dumb luck."

I didn't like thinking that if it had been only a stroke of luck that I was alive today. Much like everything else I had been told, it still hadn't sunk in yet that I had been dead at one point. And according to the laws of everything I'd ever been told about life, I should've still been dead.

"They knew about the possibility of reincarnation because of Cher." The sound of a dog barking in the distance reached my ears. Kiba tilted his head toward the sound before continuing. "And under her instruction, they began looking for us. Cher gave them our bios, told them our personalities and interests and retold the story of everything we'd been through. She started the myth of the Wolves of Legend almost three-hundred years ago."

"Three-hundred?" I echoed, eyes wide. "Hige said it had only been fifty since the WRA was formed."

"Well, Hige didn't grow up within their walls. His knowledge about them is mediocre at best since I won't tell him much."

"Why? Doesn't he deserve to know?"

Kiba shrugged, bending his other leg so he could wrap both his arms around his knees. The action itself wasn't unusual, but not something I had ever seen Kiba do. It made him look vulnerable, and for some reason, it didn't look right. "I don't like talking about it."

"Then why are you telling me?"

"Because someone deserves to know." His eyes flashed. "I can't burden Hige with it, and Tsume grew up there, too, so he knows everything. I'm telling you because I did wrong to Hige by not telling him, and I'm not going to keep you in the dark like I did him."

It was growing increasingly hard to stay angry with him.

"No one knew I was the Kiba from the legend because my personality was so different. When I was a newborn, I was really aggressive. I was just like my sister in a lot of ways, but they didn't kill me because I was an Arctic wolf. It wasn't until I'd opened my eyes that I was able to remember who I had once been. But that still didn't explain why I snapped at the other kids, why Dante and I were always at each other's throats. I was easy to set off, even at such a young age. They ranked me a Level 1, because like Hige, I was unpredictable.

"But after three-hundred years of research, the doctors and specialists at the WRA were familiar with certain issues within Reborns. My condition was more violent than most of the others that have it, and it wasn't until I was a year old that they finally diagnosed me."

"What did you have?" I asked hesitantly, rubbing at my arms as a cold wind blew at us again.

"People like me are stuck in whatever emotion they last felt before they died. I remember being angry with myself that I'd let everyone down, that I'd failed in protecting you, Hige, Tsume, Blue and Cheza. I was born with that anger, and it festered inside of me for a week before I opened my eyes and remembered just why I was upset. But by then, the damage had been done, and the anger was my dominant emotion.

"I suppose you can call it whatever you want, anger management issues or whatever. I've gotten better at controlling it, so I was moved down to a Level 2, just a moderate threat. But sometimes I can't control it, and it overtakes me." He broke off with a sigh, looking forlorn for a moment. "That's what happened back in the room. The rage blinded me, and I couldn't stop it."

Thinking it over, it made perfect sense. Over the past few weeks, at some points when I observed Kiba during an argument that Tsume and Hige were having, the older wolf would sit and watch through narrowed eyes, hands clenched into fists. At the time, I'd assumed he was just upset by the fighting, just as I had been. But what had really been going through his head?

"My doctors had me counting numbers whenever I started to get angry." Kiba said, actually rolling his eyes, something I'd never seen him do. "It helps sometimes, but not a lot. It was better than screaming into a pillow or drawing, though."

"But you're really talented." I said truthfully, thinking back to the picture they'd shown me that he had drawn.

"It's useless." Kiba said, his voice almost a growl. "It's a waste of time, doing those frivolous activities when I could be doing something productive to help myself get better."

"How often do you get angry?"

"At first, it was constant. There was never a time when I wasn't angry. I hated Liv and Joshua and Dante. I wanted my old family back, not some replacements. It's not as serious now, but I have to be careful about what situations I put myself in. If provoked enough, I get violent."

As I thought over his statement, a thought occurred to me. "Is that why you can't help Hige when he gets violent?"

Kiba nodded, shifting his gaze to the ground. "I have a battle lust that I never had in my first life, a hunger induced by my anger at failing to defeat Darcia before everyone was gone. Back in the woods today, I was all too eager to throw myself across that creek and attack the wolf. He reminded me of Darcia, he was almost just as big. The majority of my being did it solely to protect you, but there was still that part that hungered for it. I was practically salivating with apprehension.

"It's disgusting, but it's a part of myself that I can't escape. When Hige's attacks get too bad, I can't be around him or I might harm him. Tsume has to deal with his fair share of Hige's episodes because I'm not strong enough to control myself."

I nodded, because I understood completely. The temptations Kiba was facing reminded me of my siblings' struggles with alcohol. When put in a situation where it was presented, my siblings didn't have the will power to turn it away. It was a problem that had ultimately ended in Hiro pushing me into the fireplace that night.

But unlike my siblings, Kiba took himself out of situations where he might harm someone. I felt a flash of sympathy for him. I could only imagine how lonely it must have been, having to keep himself somewhat separate from us. Friends fought, but in Kiba's case, a simple argument could turn into a huge brawl.

"How did you find Hige all those years ago?" I asked, trying to change the subject. "He said you showed up and killed the men that tried to throw him over the bridge."

I jumped a bit when Kiba growled, but he stopped upon seeing my reaction. "While there are those that want the wolves to be back at full strength, there are still some that want us dead." Kiba spoke after a few more moments. "Some think the story that we'd saved the world is a conspiracy. They believe we caused it. Even other wolves think it was our fault that the world ended. Even if they aren't Reborns and were just freshly created spirits, they know of the legend. They'll attack us out of spite."

My thoughts went to the wolf that had attacked me earlier, as well as the men from the bar. Had they been under the impression that _we_ had caused the end of the world? I remembered how the wolf's demeanor had changed when I mentioned that I was one of the Wolves of Legend. It explained his reaction if he did blame us.

I felt indignant that anyone would dare think we'd been the cause of all the hardship in the world. We'd tried to help them, not destroy them.

"On the day I found Hige, I overheard Liv, Joshua, and some of the leaders of the WRA talking. They said there were reports of dead dogs popping up around the city, killed by gunshots or severed necks. They'd brought in a body for examination, and it turned out it was a wolf. It had been found near the woods where Hige was born. There had been rumors about a pair of brothers that killed wolves in an effort to get rid of the Wolves of Legend, and the killings seemed like their handiwork.

"I was impulsive back then, kind of like Hige, and I went to investigate. I was only three in wolf years, nine in human years, and they never would've let me leave if they knew what I was planning. So, I snuck out and ran the distance towards the woods. It was the dead of winter, and snow was on the ground, so I could blend in with the surroundings if I was careful enough. When I passed the bridge, I saw Hige's sister hit the ice. I snuck up on the men from behind just as they threw Hope over, but when I saw Hige… "

He trailed off then, a frown appearing on his face. "I couldn't believe it at first. He'd looked so sick, I could see every rib through his pelt. I remembered how I'd let him die the first time, and I just snapped. I killed the men before they could take Hige out, but that hadn't been my intention. That was just another instance where I lost control and took things too far. Hige was afraid of me after that. He had every right to be, but it still… bothered me."

Listening to Kiba open up so much was a little strange. In all the time I'd been with them, Kiba had never answered my questions so willingly and truthfully. Maybe now that I was more aware of our situation, he had learned to trust me. I wanted them all to learn that they didn't have to hide the truth from me anymore. I'd proved already that I could handle more than they'd originally given me credit for.

"I took Hige back to the WRA and sent someone to go collect his sisters' bodies." Kiba continued. "It turned out that Hope survived the fall and they cared for her before sending her to the reserve. When Hige was younger, they originally diagnosed him with schizophrenia. He used to talk to himself and watch things that weren't there. I used to sit behind a window, and I would watch as the doctors and psychiatrists tried to get information about where he'd come from and what he was seeing out of him.

"Hige was less than compliant, though. I think the only question he ever answered before they started giving him the medicine was what his name was. He told them, 'The voices call me Porky.'"

I swallowed, feeling ill, because Hige had left out that part when he'd told me about his time with the WRA. Did he even remember it?

"He was like an addict when they first put him on the medicine." Kiba said, his voice lowering, almost concealed by the wind. "He was so medicated he could hardly talk straight. It was hard, but I couldn't do anything to help him. He used to call out for us in his sleep, though he never remembered when he woke up. I thought seeing me would make it worse, and all I wanted was for him to be off the medicine. They beat it into his mind that he couldn't be normal without it. Joshua administered the stuff like it was the only thing keeping Hige alive."

I noticed how Kiba called his parents by their first names, how his voice hardened whenever he spoke of them. Airi had gone through a phase where she'd called our mother "Anastasia" when she was thirteen.

"I used to fight with Dante about it, because he was adamant that they put Hige down and out of his misery. They never would've gone through with it, but it still made me angry that he would even suggest such a thing. It was right after he brought it up the first time that I went to see Hige. He wasn't on the medication at the time, but all I did was sit in his room and watch him. I never spoke, because I wanted him to take that first step.

"I'd heard Liv saying that Hige couldn't decipher his memories very well, that everything he'd lived through was jumbled up and had created something within him that was more violent than anything they'd ever seen before. His MRI's and CAT scans showed things that no doctor could explain. She didn't want me near him, but I never listened to her or Joshua, not even before Hige had showed up.

"When he finally remembered who I was, things began to get a little better. He started showing signs of independence and actually wanted to leave his room, but they never let him unless he was heavily medicated and in the sights of the doctors. We never had moments alone together to talk through what he could and couldn't remember, and I didn't want that part of my life being broadcasted throughout the association. I never told them much aside from who I was, but even then, things were suffocating."

"What do you mean?"

Kiba tilted his head towards the sky. It seemed as if another storm was coming. I hoped it would pass. "When they learned I was the Chosen One, everything about my life changed. I became the favorite, and Dante was practically pushed aside. Liv and Joshua were bumped up in rank and status in the WRA because they'd 'created' me.

"Everyone treated me as if I was the greatest thing that had ever lived, and it was terrible. I hate being held in high regard over others. They expected me to take charge since I was what they would consider an alpha male in our past life, but I refused to do what they asked of me. Dante has the leader mentality. He was the alpha male of the two of us. If I weren't the Chosen One, he would be in charge, and he resents me for it, even if he is higher up in the WRA than I ever will or want to be.

"They never treated me normally, Toboe, and back then, it was all I wanted. Without you guys around, I just… to be perfectly honest, I didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't know who I was, what my purpose was without you guys around. I thought the world was safe, and without something to protect, I had nothing.

"They put me in therapy because they thought something was wrong since I wasn't displaying anything other than signs of aggression. They wanted me to be perfect, they wanted me to _lead_. I was flawed and they couldn't stand it. And for three years I put up with it. For three entire years, I stood by and did nothing as they fed Hige pill after pill, practically wiping away who he'd once been.

"His personality was tampered with. I don't know what happened, but he's not as carefree, not as happy. I understand what with the memory issues and all, but even then, he still laughed and smiled. But as time went on, that disappeared, and when things got tough, he turned to his medication. They ruined him, and I didn't do anything to stop it. But when they wanted to do the same to me, I snapped."

"And you took Hige and left." I said, receiving a curt nod of confirmation.

Listening to Hige's version of things had been painful, but Kiba's account was practically excruciating. His detail wasn't as guarded as Hige's had been, not as watered down. It was the truth, and that was even more painful.

The WRA didn't seem to be a good place to me. Maybe they thought they were helping – and maybe in some cases they were – but they'd gone to extreme measures to keep Hige contained, and in their efforts, they had damaged him beyond repair.

But I hadn't given up on Hige yet. I refused to believe he would be like this forever.

"I cut him off from his medication and took him to live in the city. I thought it would be good for him." Kiba said, sounding the part of an overly protective father, not that I had any experience with that. "I worked on helping him sort through his memories, but by then he was addicted to the pills. I didn't know what to do, because I was still young then, only thirteen even if I did have the mind of a wolf much older and far more experienced.

"I was afraid, because I knew that if Hige were to go into a fit like the ones he'd had at the WRA, I would slip and hurt him. But then Tsume showed up, and I wasn't alone anymore. Together, we managed Hige's episodes, and by the time he'd turned thirteen, he no longer craved his medication and had sorted through most of his memories. Only the ones of you and Blue remained blurred out, because he'd never met either of you, and Tsume and I didn't like to talk about you guys."

"Who's Blue?" I inquired. The name had been brought up a lot lately.

"She was the wolf dog." Kiba explained, a touch of humor in his voice. "She and Hige had a bond that eventually would've led to them becoming mates had the end not come so quickly. He remembered her around the time his hormones starting kicking in. The medication stunted his growth, and puberty came later for him than most wolves or human boys. It was a difficult time for all of us."

I stifled a laugh, because the situation wasn't exactly funny. It was rather tragic, but I'd never been a hopeless romantic. To be quite frank, I still got a bit nervous when dealing with girls my own age. I knew Hige would tease me if he ever found out. "Do you know where she is? Are we looking for her, too?"

The amused look was quickly wiped off Kiba's face. "We don't have time anymore. We were looking at first, but then we found you and switched our focus. Now that the world is in peril again, locating Blue will have to wait."

I felt terrible, because it could've easily been me they were putting to the side.

Kiba must've seen it on my face. "We'll look again once this whole thing is sorted out. But we're not even sure she's here."

I nodded, but continued to maintain my silence. The two of us stared at one another, all of my questions seeming to have been answered.

But then I looked up to the sky, eyeing a gray cloud. "Kiba, what's wrong with Tsume? Did he have an issue like we do?"

"Tsume was never given a rank based on danger." Kiba said automatically. "He was critical as a newborn, but everything's fine now, at least as far as we know." I didn't like the sound of that. "Those like Tsume are born with their original bodies. You, Hige, and I look similar enough to how we did before, but only Tsume and those like him are exactly how they were as they died. That being said, Tsume was born with the wounds that had killed him."

I stared at Kiba, unsure of how to react. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing would come out. What could I say? It was obvious that Tsume was still alive today, but if he'd been born with the wounds that had ended his life in the first place, shouldn't he have died as an infant?

"They were doing a routine ultrasound on his mother when they noticed the excess blood in her stomach. They performed an emergency cesaerean and found Tsume. Darcia had ripped open his side in their battle, and he died from blood loss. As a small puppy, he almost didn't make it, but they managed to close the wound and keep him alive. They considered Tsume a miracle in his branch, and his life was mostly like mine growing up, though he never told anyone about who he really was. He got out the first chance he got and never looked back."

I made a small noise in the back of my throat, nodding. "Good."

Wolves like Kiba, Hige, and Tsume weren't meant to be kept behind closed doors, controlled to the point that they couldn't be themselves. If only they hadn't gotten their hands on Hige.

"Why'd you call your mom, Toboe?" Kiba asked me suddenly, though he didn't sound angry, just curious and resigned. "Do you want to go home?"

I shook my head furiously. "Not at all. I just didn't want her to go on thinking I had been kidnapped and could be – "

I didn't have to finish. Kiba nodded. "I understand. But you do know that there will be consequences because of this, right? Not any that I'm going to enforce, but if she decides to inform the police, they'll be here in a heartbeat."

"I know."

And strangely, Kiba laughed. It was something I'd never seen before. He chuckled, sure, even smiled when Hige was being particularly exuberant, but he'd never laughed like this. In that moment, I considered Hige and myself forgiven.

"You always did what you thought was right, no matter the consequences." He said once his laughter had nearly died away. "You still do obviously."

"I'm sure I got us in a lot of trouble."

"Not at all. Most of the time, you were forced into acting upon something one of us did. I remember this one time, we were walking on a frozen sea, and you were having a hard time keeping up with us. Hige was giving you grief about it, but you wouldn't give up. Then a walrus attacked us. It pierced my leg with its tusk, and we were almost beaten by it, but then you just went for it. You were never overly aggressive, and that was the first time I'd actually seen you lose your composure. You bit the walrus in its eye and didn't let go, even when it dragged you underneath the water."

"I – I attacked a _walrus_?" I stammered, a part of me not believing his claim at all. But then I saw the look on his face. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he looked proud.

"The biggest walrus I'd ever seen." He confirmed. "You gained the walrus' respect and it basically gave its life up to us. Tsume and Hige may have called you the runt, but you proved your worth to them that day. And you weren't even cocky about it. I don't think you even understood what had been so special about it. You said you just saw us in danger and did what had to be done. It was that simple to you."

I smiled, proud of my past self. Even if I couldn't imagine ever doing something like that, I was glad he'd done it for our friends' sake.

A boom echoed across the landscape, and I managed to count to ten before another one sounded. The storm was ten miles away.

"Toboe, can I tell you something?" Kiba said, moving his gaze to me once more. "You can't say a word to anyone, especially Hige."

After a moment of hesitation, I nodded. I hated keeping secrets, but I couldn't ignore the intensity in Kiba's eyes.

"I don't regret keeping Hige away from the medicine." He started out slowly, a little uncertainly. "As years go by, he's starting to return to normal. But he's been changing for a while now, reverting back to how he was when we were kids. Surely you've noticed how he slips into states more often than he did a few weeks ago?"

I nodded. Just yesterday he'd gone into one, and yet another today. I'd lost count of how many episodes he'd had in the past two weeks.

"That hasn't happened in years." Kiba confessed. "Up until we found you, he hardly ever had attacks. Nightmares, sure, but we all have those. I don't think you have anything to do with it, though. Hige's starting to relapse."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that Hige's mind is starting to revolt against him. Without his medicine, his memories run wild most of the time. He can keep it under wraps now, but I can see him slipping. I'm afraid something's going to happen to him."

"Like what?"

"The doctors have warned me over the years that Hige would eventually have a psychotic break if he continued on without his medication." Kiba said reluctantly. "I may not see eye to eye with them, but I do keep in touch with them for Hige's benefit. But I thought maybe we could help Hige on our own, without the medicine. I don't want him going back to his drugged up state, but they told me that they can give him enough that he won't be as delirious as he was as a child but still help him through life until a permanent cure is found, if there ever is one.

"I still didn't think it was a good idea, but if it meant keeping Hige safe, I was going to do it. But Hige wouldn't hear it. He had a breakdown just from the thought of going back on his medicine. He doesn't remember much from when he was on it, but he does remember the withdrawal symptoms he suffered in the months after we moved out on our own. He hates being dependent on them for anything, especially since a lot of them wanted him to be put down a long time ago."

I thought back to when Hige had told me that if it were up to Kiba's brother, he would never see the light of day. That one phrase held so much more meaning now. When he'd told me that, he seriously meant it.

"So, what are we going to do?" I whispered, another clap of thunder sounding. That time, I counted to seven.

Kiba sighed. "I don't know. Hige's health is declining at an alarming rate. When he zoned out when we were explaining the wolves to you, he woke up and said things that he didn't remember a few minutes later. That's never happened before. I'm not trained to pick up on new symptoms and figure out how to handle them, and I'm afraid I'm harming Hige by dragging him on this wild goose chase."

"It's not a wild goose chase." I said firmly. "And Hige's here because he wants to be. No one's dragging him anywhere. He wants to see the world safe again just as much as we do."

"I believe you." Kiba said. "But between finding Paradise and Hige's well being, Hige always comes first."

I smiled, because it seemed that Hige's feelings toward Kiba were reciprocated tenfold. "You two really care about one another."

"It's different than how we used to handle each other." Kiba admitted, not sounding the least bit sorry. "It was never like this before. I worried about all four of you, especially you since you were the youngest, but now it's stronger. When Hige was dying, he told me to leave him behind and go help Cheza. And I did. But if that were to happen today, I'm certain I would refuse. I would never leave any of you alone. The urge to protect Hige when I found him was overpowering, and it still is. He hates it when I fuss over him."

"But he appreciates it." I said earnestly. "He does, but he won't admit it. He thinks he's nothing but a burden to you."

Kiba blinked, sitting up straight so he was no longer leaning against the generator. "He really thinks that?"

I nodded, saying, "He told me so while you and Tsume were gone. It bothers him a lot, I think. He got too upset to keep talking about it when I tried to convince him otherwise."

He didn't say anything for a long time, and when I heard thunder once more, I counted to three. "I'm surprised Hige didn't come up here." I said eventually. "He's probably back by now and wants to apologize or something."

"He has nothing to apologize for." Kiba replied. "And I'm not surprised he's not up here. He's afraid of heights."

"Oh, yeah." I'd forgotten about that. It had seemed minuscule at the time, back when Hige was hesitant to climb the tree outside my house, but after everything that had happened, I finally understood what had caused such an irrational fear. "Was it because of the bridge?"

Kiba nodded slowly. "They held him over the edge for a few seconds before I got a hold of them. Hige's been traumatized by heights ever since." After a few more seconds, he added, "Come on. Let's go inside."

The two of us got to our feet, and I noticed the blood that was still dripping down Kiba's arm. He followed my gaze, reaching down to wipe the red substance away hastily. I could see the stains on his clothes, and I wondered just how serious his wounds were. Wolves healed quickly, and if his wounds were still bleeding they must've been terrible.

"That wolf really did a number on me." Kiba admitted reluctantly. "I killed him after I got the information I wanted out of him, though. Tsume and I went to go bury his body earlier."

"What information did you want?"

"Why he went after you. Why he was running around with his pack and killing pets and attacking people."

"And what did he say?"

"Nothing. He knew who we were and cursed at us. He wouldn't talk, so I killed him. One less danger to the city."

Kiba headed for the door after that, and I followed after. We walked back to the room in silence, Kiba clutching at his arms to hide the blood flow from the other guests.

Tsume was the one that opened the door when I knocked. "Welcome back." He said, closing the door once we were inside. "Your presence was truly missed."

I snorted, but Kiba's attention was focused on Hige's form on the bed. He was curled up on his side, his back facing us, and I figured he was asleep.

"He passed out during his episode." Tsume said with a small sigh. "He was gone for five or six minutes."

Kiba said nothing, and I turned my attention to the white figure sitting beside Hige. Snow was observing him quietly, and it took her a moment to figure out that I had come back. She meowed and hopped off the bed, but as she moved closer, I noticed she was limping.

"I think she's hurt her paw." I said, bending over to scoop her up gently, being careful not to hurt her.

"Maybe they have a veterinarian's office somewhere around town." Kiba said.

"But they'll notice us for sure if we go." I said with a sigh.

"Let's not worry about that now." Tsume said, a frown on his face as he observed Kiba. "You reek of blood. Come on, let's get you fixed up."

As Tsume took care of Kiba, I moved over towards Hige and sat down slowly on the opposite side of the bed. He looked peaceful in sleep, just as he always did, but I knew what was going on inside his mind. His calm state could disappear in the blink of an eye.

I looked up when I heard a pain-filled growl from the bathroom, and I watched through the mirror as Tsume poured antibiotic on a nasty looking gash on Kiba's arm. That was where all the blood had come from. I looked away.

Stifling a yawn, I glanced over at the clock. It was only eight. All of the excitement of the morning had happened within an hour, and it was starting to catch up to me. I was exhausted.

"Do you miss being home, Snow?" I asked her quietly, situating myself on the bed so I could go back to sleep.

She purred in response, nuzzling her head into my neck. With Snow there, everything seemed almost normal. I'd missed her so much in the weeks we'd been separated, and now I was determined to make sure we weren't apart again.

That determination was still with me as I fell asleep.

* * *

><p>The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was red.<p>

No, not really red, more of a maroon or magenta. The color was lovely, though it took me a moment to realize that the red I was staring at was staring back at me.

The red was the color of someone's eyes.

I sat up with a gasp, scrambling back in the bed as I struggled to contain my racing heart.

There was a girl sitting in my bed. She giggled lightly at my reaction, clasping her hands together and rocking her body back, her crisscrossed legs rising off the bed slightly.

I stared at her in shock and awe, because she was unlike anything I'd ever seen before. Her skin was very pale, her hair short and pink in color. She was wearing a light blue body suit with a gold necklace encircling her neck.

I blushed when I registered how wonderful she smelled.

"Toboe." She said happily. "This One missed you!"

I gaped at her, unable to believe what I was seeing and hearing. How in the world had she gotten into our room?

Not taking my eyes off the strange girl, I reached out and hit Hige's shoulder. "Hige?" He grumbled sleepily in response, curling further into the sheets. "Hige!" I hissed again. "There's a girl here."

There was no initial reaction at first, but then his eyes opened and he sat up, expression tinged with disbelief. When his sights fell on the girl sitting at our feet, he gasped rather loudly. "Cheza?"

Cheza. That was the name of the Flower Maiden. Was the bubbly girl before me really the Lunar Flower I'd been told about?

"Kiba, Tsume, wake up!" Hige said loudly, chucking a pillow at Kiba's sleeping form. Obviously he'd forgotten about what had transpired earlier, or he was choosing to forget about it for now. "You'll never guess who decided to show up."

"I swear to God, Hige," came Tsume's tired grumble, "this had better not be one of your hallucinations again."

"Toboe sees Cheza, too!" Hige exclaimed, not bothered by Tsume's harsh words. The older man was half asleep after all.

Kiba was up instantly, staring over at Cheza with confused, exhausted eyes while Tsume struggled to get up as well. Cheza waved at Kiba and Tsume, another giggle escaping her.

"This One wanted to be human again." She said, turning her gaze to me once more. "Like the rest of you."

"It's good to see you again, Cheza." Kiba said, still looking a little confused, but it was starting to pass. A warmth that I hadn't seen for a long time flickered in his eyes.

"Yeah, welcome to the party." Tsume grumbled.

Cheza nodded, a smile on her face as she observed me. I held her gaze for a moment before looking away, glancing at Snow's sleeping form at my side. Everyone was happy to see her, and she was just as happy to see all of us, but I couldn't relate to that yet.

I didn't remember anything about her apart from the things Kiba, Tsume, and Hige had told me when they explained our past life. I didn't need another person that expected me to be someone I wasn't.

"Why'd you come back, Cheza?" Hige inquired, getting down to business rather quickly.

Cheza hummed under her breath, suddenly looking a little forlorn. "The world is sick." She said sadly. "This One fears it will end soon if we do not help it."

I fisted the sheets on either side of me, and though Cheza's eyes were on Hige, she inclined her head towards me, as if she were listening.

"So, that's why you called for us last year." Tsume said, sharing a glance with Kiba. "You knew something was wrong."

Cheza nodded. "Yes. This One called you all together." Fixing her gaze on me once more, she added, "And your hearts were calling out for each other. This One helped you."

I tried to think back to that day when I'd heard Cheza's voice in my head. Had I been calling out for the others? At that point in my life, all I'd wanted was to leave Fairfield, but then I found Snow, and all that vanished.

Maybe I'd been seeking out the companionship I'd once had with Kiba, Tsume, and Hige, and Snow was a replacement. I picked up her sleeping form as I thought about it, not caring at the moment if I woke her up. Snow was nobody's substitute.

"Did you speak to Blue?" Hige asked hesitantly, and I remembered what Kiba had said about Hige and the wolf dog's relationship. For Hige's sake, I hoped she was around. "Is she… is she here?"

Cheza tilted her head, staring up at the ceiling. "No. Blue is not here." For a split, heart-breaking second, I saw the devastation on Hige's face, but he covered it up quickly. Kiba was eyeing Hige warily, and I knew he'd seen it, too. "But neither is Toboe."

I stared at her in surprise as the others did the same. "What do you mean, Cheza?" Hige asked anxiously, glancing over at me from the corner of his eye. "Toboe's right there."

I flinched when Cheza turned to me, afraid of what she might say. What if I wasn't the Toboe they remembered? What if I wasn't his reincarnation? Was that what she was saying?

"Do you want to be Toboe again?" She asked me curiously.

"He is Toboe, Cheza." Kiba said carefully, like he was trying to avoid hitting something sensitive within me, afraid of hurting my feelings.

But I understood what Cheza was saying, or at least I thought I did. "No," I said quietly, my eyes locked with hers, "that's not what she meant. She's asking if I want to be… the old me again. Right?"

Cheza smiled, nodding enthusiastically.

"You mean, you can give him his memories back?" Hige whispered. Again, Cheza nodded.

Everyone fell silent, waiting for my answer. I wasn't sure what to say. My mind was still clouded with sleep, and everything was happening way too fast for my liking. I ran my fingers through Snow's fur, who by now was wide awake and staring at Cheza curiously, sniffing the air just as I had done upon waking up.

Did I really want to have my memories restored? As terrible as it sounded, some part of me was terrified that I'd end up like Hige if I remembered. Would I be under attack from my own memories, a slave to the will of my own mind like he was? Was it all really worth it? And what if by remembering the Toboe from before, I lost who I was now? Would he take over, or would my memories still remain?

I had so many questions, but I was too afraid and confused to voice them out loud. "I just want to be me." I whispered, my voice trembling. Snow meowed in my grasp, pressing her head against my chest and emitting a low purr.

Cheza smiled sweetly. "You will be you. Both sides of you, Toboe."

And for some reason, that calmed me. I wanted the old me back. I wanted to remember my life from before, to know about everything. "Okay." I said, setting Snow down beside me.

"Toboe, you don't have to do it." Tsume said, suddenly sounding a bit panicked as Cheza grabbed my hand and pulled me off the bed.

"Is it safe?" Kiba demanded, starting to get out of the bed himself. "Cheza, I don't know if – "

Cheza held up a hand, waving off Kiba's protests dismissively. For some reason, I didn't think the action suited her. "Toboe won't know everything at once." Cheza said, sitting down on the ground and crossing her legs, gesturing for me to do the same. "That would hurt him badly."

"So, what's going to happen to him?" Hige asked worriedly.

"He will be Toboe." She repeated brightly, scooting closer to me so my knees were touching hers.

That was all I wanted. To just be me.

Cheza leaned forward and took both of my hands in hers, holding them up in the space between our bodies. She took a deep breath, and I found myself doing the same. "Close your eyes." She instructed me quietly. "Relax."

I closed my eyes, but I was far from relaxed. The tension in the air was multiplying as the silence dragged on, and I could tell the others were worried about what was going to happen to me. Not to say that I wasn't worried as well, but I trusted Cheza even if I didn't know her that well. She said I would be me. She knew what she was doing. She –

And suddenly I was paralyzed. There was a heat seeping through my body I couldn't describe, and when I managed to pry my eyes open, I could only stare. Cheza's face was dangerously close to mine, and it took me a few moments to realize that she was kissing me.

I was too shocked to feel embarrassed, but I didn't think I could move even if I wanted to. My body was frozen. But then I locked eyes with Cheza, and a pain I'd never experienced before tore through me.

I dislodged myself from Cheza with an anguished cry that sounded eerily like a howl, doubling over in pain as my hands clutched at my head. I thought maybe Hige shouted something, but I couldn't understand anything at that moment except for the pain I felt. It was the throbbing in my eyes times a million, so intense I was seeing white spots even with my eyes closed.

"Cheza, what's happening to him?" Someone cried. I wasn't sure who it was. The sound was muffled. I felt like I was underwater.

"He's healing." A soft voice replied.

There was a pressure against my side, a small body that I didn't recognize. But through the haze I was currently in, I realized it was Snow. And for a terrifying moment, I wondered if I would remember her when this was over.

A scream pierced the air, and everything went dark.

* * *

><p><em>A.N. <em>I hope that cleared some stuff up. These next few chapters will be really… dark? I'm not sure if that's how I should describe it, but I'll use that term for now. Everything has to be pretty crappy before things get better, right? Thanks to all who reviewed!


	17. We Are One

_**Chapter 16: We Are One**_

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><p>When I opened my eyes, I wasn't exactly sure where I was.<p>

I raised a hand to shield my eyes from the sun shining brightly above me, couldn't recall a time when the rays were so overpowering. Certainly not in the world I lived in, where the air was polluted and frequent thunderstorms left the landscape dark and murky.

But that wasn't the case here. As I looked around in awe, I took in the green grass and the bright blue sky. I could hear birds chirping from the trees, saw rabbits hopping through the grass before they slipped away. Everything was serene and beautiful.

I was certain it must have been a dream.

I didn't make a move to stand, too content with the warm sun on my skin and the tickle of the grass on my bare legs and feet. Despite myself, I giggled, which was something I hadn't done in a long while. I hadn't had a reason to, after all.

I crossed my legs, watching intently as a monarch butterfly flew into my line of sight. I reached up with my right hand, smiling as the fragile creature landed on my ring finger.

In that moment, I forgot what it was I had been doing before, if I had been doing anything at all. It probably wasn't very important anyway.

I trailed the butterfly with my eyes as it started to fly away again, and my gaze ran down the length of a clear stream near the trees. My wandering eyes stopped, however, when I noticed a newcomer.

I knew it was a wolf, common sense told me that much. It was brown in color with amber eyes, and I noticed a set of bracelets on its left paw. I frowned as I watched it, as the wolf watching me in return. I felt as if I should've known who it was. It seemed familiar, at least a little bit.

The wolf slipped into the stream after a moment, wading across in an attempt to get to me. When it reached the other side, it shook out its fur, the damp strands drying instantly. I looked on in surprise and wonder as it continued to move closer to me, head and tail held high.

"What are you doing here?" The voice was that of a male, but he didn't sound challenging or wary. If anything, he looked happy to see me.

A warm breeze tickled the back of my neck, and I shrugged, glancing around. "I'm not exactly sure. I don't really remember what it was I was doing before."

The wolf nodded, moving in a small circle around me. "We might want to fix that. Your being here will be pretty useless if you can't remember what it is you were sent here to do."

"Do _you _know why I'm here?" I asked the wolf curiously.

His eyes brightened significantly, a mischievous gleam appearing in them. "Maybe."

"What kind of answer is that?"

"An evasive one." He replied cheekily, trotting around my body once more so he was in front of me, sitting down heavily. "You're the first person I've seen here in a long time. Can't a wolf have some fun?"

"Depends on what kind of fun you want to have."

The wolf laughed, though no sound came out. His eyes closed and his tail thumped against the ground, but that was all. "I like you. You remind me of someone I used to know." He stated. " I guess I can answer whatever questions you have."

"What's your name?"

The wolf's head tilted, considering my question. "My name? Huh, it's been a long time since anyone's said my name. I've been called many things. Runt, pup, Howling. The list goes on and on, depending on who you ask."

"Well, what do you want me to call you?"

"My given name was Toboe." He said. "So, I guess you can call me that."

"Alright, Toboe." I conceded. "Where are we? What is this place?"

Toboe stood once more, the bracelets on his leg jingling at the act. "This place is a utopia." He started, his head swiveling as he observed the land before us, teeming with life. "A paradise, if you will. And that's exactly what this place is called. Paradise."

"How fitting." I mused, grinning as I ran the tips of my fingers over the top of the grass. "This place is truly peaceful."

Toboe nodded, a sad glint appearing in his eyes. "It is. But it's rather lonely."

"Lonely?" I echoed, disbelief seeping through my voice. "How could you be lonely in a place like this? Aren't there others here with you?"

"There were." He admitted, sitting once more only to roll onto his back and squirm around in the grass. "A long time ago. But time passed and they all left. I'm all that remains."

I watched him, feeling sad for the lone wolf. "Hey," I said brightly, watching as his ears perked up with interest, "what if I stay here with you? Then you won't be lonely anymore."

Toboe laughed, rolling onto his stomach quickly. "I appreciate the offer, but asking you to stay would be terribly selfish of me."

"Why?"

"Because you're needed somewhere else, a place far away from here." He said quietly, amber eyes suddenly burning with intensity. "Do you really want to remember why you came to this place?"

Hesitantly, I nodded. Toboe crawled closer, touching my knee with the tip of his wet nose. I observed him quietly for a moment before my body stiffened, my back arching and my mouth opening in a silent scream.

The tranquil feeling that had overcome me when I entered this place vanished, replaced with the worry and pain I'd felt right before I passed out. Cheza had kissed me, claiming that I would regain myself if I put my trust in her.

And I suddenly recognized the wolf that was lying before me for who he truly was. He was still looking up at me, the eyes identical to my own wide with compassion. "Cheza sent you here to find me, right?"

Panting in shock and exhaustion, I could only stare. My counterpart lifted his nose off my knee, pushing himself into a sitting position once more. For a moment, neither of us spoke. I was too shocked to articulate words, and he probably just didn't want to frighten me.

The wolf sitting before me was my past self. But what was he doing here, in Paradise, when everyone else was back on Earth? "What happened to us?" I whispered hoarsely.

The wolf tilted his head to the sky, closing his eyes as a breeze ruffled his fur. "We were separated, you and I. It was a freak accident, though, so there's nothing to worry about."

"Nothing to worry about?" I repeated. "Toboe, I lost my memories, _our _memories. According to the others, that's not normal." It felt strange addressing him by my own name, but to be fair, it had been his first. I was just going to have to deal with it.

"When is anything ever normal?" He sighed, opening his eyes. "Since the day I was born, everything has been a giant mess. I wouldn't change anything, though. I've lived a wonderful life, wouldn't you agree?"

I laughed, because this was just ridiculous. I was having a conversation with myself. He didn't even seem bothered that somewhere along the way to being reborn, I'd been stripped of everything I'd once been.

But everything I'd lost was sitting right in front of me, and I was too afraid to reach out and take it. "I don't know what kind of life you led. I can't even remember how you died."

Toboe's eyes flashed, and I felt guilty for even bringing it up. "It's a good thing you don't." He said. "It would haunt me night and day if I weren't here. In Paradise, I feel nothing but happiness and joy. Pain, regret, and longing are foreign emotions to me now." He paused, a thoughtful look in his eyes. "Actually, I can't remember how it feels to feel."

"You looked sad enough earlier."

He laughed, shaking his head. "I can act the part, Toboe. It doesn't mean I feel anything."

Somehow, that didn't settle well with me, and I quickly changed the subject. "So, do you know why we split? Why I lost my memories?"

"I know _everything_." He said, leaning forward slightly, voice trembling with excitement. "It's awesome, too! If you asked, I could tell you what you'll eat for breakfast tomorrow." With a small giggle, he added, "But that would ruin the surprise, wouldn't it?"

"So, why did we split?" I pressed. I felt bad for thinking it, but his bubbly attitude was starting to get on my nerves. Was that how I had been before? I couldn't imagine being as happy as he was acting back in my time.

"You're very impatient. I wonder how Tsume puts up with you." Toboe teased, and I reached out to flick his ear. "Hey, watch it! Anyway, wolves like Tsume were born as they died. I, however, was not."

"What do you mean?"

"We all died as wolves." Toboe explained, raising one paw to place it over the top of my hand, gesturing for me to look at them. "And Kiba, Tsume, and Hige were reborn as wolves. But not me. I was born as a human."

"That's _it_?" I asked incredulously. It had really been that simple? I'd lost my memory simply because I wasn't born just as I'd died. The others would definitely be as frustrated as I was when I told them.

Toboe nodded, removing his paw from my hand. "What's so hard to believe about it? All my memories were locked up inside my wolf form. I was born without it, so logically, I wouldn't have my memories. Seriously, even a child could figure that out."

I could hear it in his voice again. He was teasing me. I wondered how a wolf without real emotions could be so happy and carefree.

"Why do you keep speaking in first person?" I demanded. "You and I are completely different people."

Toboe rolled his eyes, a gesture that was hardly wolf. "Oh, please. Here, follow me." He got to his paws, bounding across the field toward the stream. He turned to look at me when I didn't make a move to follow. "Well, come on!"

With a huff of frustration, I did just that, pushing myself to my feet and following the wolf toward the water. He flicked his tail as I approached, inclining his head toward the water. "Look in the water."

I moved forward slowly, because this was a horrible case of déjà vu. I remembered how Airi had said the exact same thing in my dream. Had that entire sequence been a foreshadowing of events that were sure to come? If that was the case, I didn't want to think about why Airi had been covered in so much blood.

I crouched down by the water, peering into the crystal clear liquid. I only saw my own reflection, human nose, hair, and skin. Toboe's wolf head popped up next to mine.

"I speak in first person, because we're one in the same, you and I." He explained. "I am you, and you are me. We're the same wolf."

I observed my reflection, then his. As outward appearances went, the only thing we shared was our eye color. He was cheerful for reasons I couldn't begin to comprehend, while I was struggling to keep going back on Earth where things were starting to take a turn for the worst.

I might have been him once, a long time ago, but I prayed he would never turn into me. I angrily looked away from the water, sitting back and rubbing at my eyes in irritation. I refused to cry. Not here, not ever.

"Can you turn into a human?" I muttered. "I'd feel more comfortable talking to you if you were."

"I would if I could." He said honestly, bending over to lap up the water slowly. "I haven't been able to turn human since the day I was born."

After carefully analyzing his statement and taking into account what he'd said about speaking in first person, I came to the conclusion that he meant since the day _I _was born, back in the Reborn world.

"Fifteen years." I said, eyes lowing to glare angrily at the gray pebbles beneath me. "I've kept you trapped for fifteen years."

"Has it really been that long?" He inquired. "Hmm, time seems to pass so quickly here. But whatever the case, I don't care if I can't turn into a human. I like being a wolf. It's what I truly am."

"I wish I shared your enthusiasm."

"What do you mean? Do you not want to be a wolf?"

I sighed, looking anywhere but at him. "I don't know. Debating the idea of being another species is different than actually _being _one. Does that make any sense?"

He nodded, looking so subdued for a moment that I actually believed he'd lied to me when he said he couldn't feel sadness.

"I envy you, you know," he said eventually, "or I would, if I wasn't here in Paradise. It's kind of bad to say so, but you're lucky that you can worry and stress about things. In my opinion, that's what made life interesting. There's no fun to be had if everything's perfect all the time."

I watched as his eyes surveyed the landscape once more, a sight so magnificent to me, yet so normal to him. I wondered if I would grow tired of this utopia if I'd spent as much time here as he had.

"The world I once lived in died almost a thousand years ago." Toboe continued with a small huff. "Everyone that was reborn didn't appear all at once, though. Their lives were spread out through the decades. To this day, there are still some souls that have yet to be reborn. It's the universes' job to decide when and where to place them. It's an intricate process, one that I'm glad I haven't fully taken part in."

"If there are still leftover souls, why are you alone?"

"This is my Paradise." He stated simply. "The only one I ever shared this place with was Granny, and she's long gone."

"Was she important to you… to us?"

He laughed then, turning to fix me with a delighted look. "Oh, yes. She was truly a wonderful human being. You know her in your current life, actually. She's your next door neighbor, Mrs. Pennon."

I didn't fail to notice that he was referring to me in second person now. I wondered if he was doing it for my benefit. I felt a surge of happiness at knowing that someone I'd held so dear before had been taking care of me my whole life.

"I killed her, you know." He continued, eyes far too bright for the severity of what he'd just said. "It was an accident, one I can no longer bring myself to regret. I'm happy she was able to live a good life back on Earth, though. I'm glad you were around to bring some joy to her life."

He fell silent, and for a long time, the sound of churning water and chirping birds was all to be heard. But as time passed, my ability to stay silent vanished.

"I'm so sorry." I blurted out. "I – I wronged you, Toboe."

He turned to face me, head tipped in curiosity. "What exactly are you apologizing for?"

"For everything! I stole your second chance at life." I exploded, my worries on the matter finally rearing their ugly heads as it all came pouring out. I had never said anything like this to Kiba, Tsume, or Hige. They'd already done so much to help me find myself. I never wanted to say that I felt guilty just for existing. I'd stolen their friend. I didn't deserve the life I'd been given, for it was never mine in the first place. "You were trapped here all alone while I ran around with your human body and lived the life that was supposed to belong to you."

Toboe actually looked stunned, or at least he blinked a few times, something I'd seen Hige do when I said something shocking. Then he moved closer, pushing his head against my cheek. It felt so warm.

"I already told you, Toboe." His body rumbled as he spoke, and I closed my eyes, trying to fight back tears. "We're the same being. I lived my life through you. We're connected, and everything you've done, every thought you've ever had, I've lived through it, too. You were my emotions, you were my voice. If anything, I should be the one apologizing. I could've given you our memories a long time ago, but I didn't want to burden you with them. The weight of my actions is mine to bear alone."

"But we're the same person." I shot back, my voice cracking a bit. I blamed puberty. "Your burden is my burden."

He pulled away, eyes shining. "See. I was never that outspoken in our first life. Everyone walked all over me until the day I attacked the walrus. But, as Kiba explained to you, I only did it to save our friends. You're everything I wanted to be."

"I don't believe you. I wish I was as happy as you seem to be. I see the darkness in the world."

"My naivety caused my downfall, you know. I saw the best in everybody, and in the end, that flaw killed me. But seeing the good in things isn't so bad, Toboe. It can have its perks, too."

"That's why I want you back." I said, reaching up to wipe away a tear that managed to escape. "I don't want to be this sad anymore. The only things that make me happy now are Kiba, Tsume, Hige, and Snow. I want to see the light in the world. I want to know what I'm fighting to save."

"You already know what you're trying to save." He told me, rasping his tongue over my cheek, getting rid of more tears for me. "Airi, Hiro, Kato, Mother. You're fighting for our family, for their futures."

"But sometimes I can't help but wonder if they're worth it." I admitted quietly. "If you've lived through it all with me, you should know how hard it's been."

"I do know." He agreed. "I couldn't feel it as strongly as you did, and the sadness and anger only stayed with me for a few seconds at most, but I felt it, Toboe, don't mistake that. I know that you care for them, too. You love them so much, but sometimes you can't remember why. It's what led you to run away without question the second Kiba brought it up. You left because you love them, you left because you didn't know why." He paused for a moment before continuing. "As the saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"You're more insightful than I'll ever hope to be." I said with a small chuckle.

Toboe yipped, the first wolfish gesture he'd made since I first saw him. "Well, I am an all-knowing wolf after all."

I laughed, shoving him gently. "There's no need to be modest."

He yipped again, jumping to his paws in excitement. Here with him, I was happier than I could ever remember being. That side of myself had been lost for so long. Watching him made me realize just what I'd been missing in life, my memories aside.

"So, are you going to help me get my memories back?" I asked hesitantly.

He turned back to the stream, dabbing the paw with the bracelets into the water delicately. "I want to help you, truly I do, but I don't know if you're ready."

"Ready for what?"

"To know it all." He said, sighing a bit. "I hold everything from before, every pain-filled moment from my past life. And let me tell you, they're all ten times worse than anything you've ever experienced back on Earth."

His declaration was frightening, and I began to doubt that I could handle it all. Here he was, a wolf in this romised land with no worry or strife to bring him down. He'd been here so long he'd even forgotten how to feel on his own.

But it was obvious that the knowledge he held was always weighing heavily on his mind. If someone so pure and innocent could crack under the pressure, what hope was there for me?

"Tell you what." He said suddenly, spinning around to face me once more. "I'll permit you one memory."

"Only one?"

He nodded, looking determined. "Only one for now. Nothing bad, but something that'll give you insight as to who I used to be. You'll see that the two of us aren't really that different."

After a moment, I nodded. If it wasn't too bad, then I would allow him to share something with me. "What will happen?" I asked, suddenly feeling panicked as he started to inch closer to me.

"It'll feel like a dream." He explained. "It will be my memory, but you won't just sit back and watch our old life unfold. You'll be apart of it. It's like it was truly a thought you had. Well, I guess in a way, you did have it."

And before I could stall any longer, he touched the tip of his nose to my forehead and pulled me into a moment from a long, long time ago.

* * *

><p><em>What was I supposed to be doing? Sometimes I couldn't help but wonder.<em>

_It had been so long since I had someone to take care of me, someone who I could talk to, someone who would make sure I didn't get myself into trouble. That had been Granny's job, but I didn't often let myself think about her._

_For years, I was alone, a stray on the streets that was afraid of his own shadow, picked on by cats and crows, of all things. I never viewed myself as tough or confident. I spent most my waking hours hiding, watching the humans around me warily, just waiting, hoping, for someone to find me and take me home._

_But the fear that had consumed me when Granny died kept me from revealing myself. That town was no place for a wolf, of that I was certain, but I could never bring myself to leave. The world outside Freeze City was a cold and treacherous place, Granny had taught me that much. Alone, I would never survive._

_So, I stayed._

_Until the day I saw Leara for the first time, I never approached a human. She showed me kindness, and it drew me in, even though I had warned myself against it. I didn't trust myself around humans. They were so fragile and unaware of the strength I possessed. It was even more dangerous because I couldn't control it. _

_It was because of Leara that I met Tsume. Had it not been for him, I was certain I wouldn't have lived much longer. That man with the gun and his dog would've made quick work of me if given the chance._

_I didn't know what it was that made me trust Tsume. He wasn't very nice and only talked if he was insulting me, but I felt more at ease around him than I'd ever felt around humans. A part of me wondered if it was because he was a wolf, just like me._

_But I didn't think that was true. I'd met dozens of wolves over the course of our journey, and I hadn't felt any kind of connection with any of them, aside from Kiba and Hige. Tsume wasn't all bad, but I was the only one who thought so._

_It was because of them that I eventually left Freeze City. I wasn't alone anymore, but was it truly worth it? I couldn't hunt much and couldn't travel as far as the others. Hige teased me a lot, and Tsume mainly treated me like a burden. Kiba hardly talked unless it was about Paradise. They never told me to leave, and I had no inclination to do so. Even though we were all so different, we remained together._

_Even as I watched Kiba and Tsume bicker for the hundredth time, watched as Hige tried to act as mediator even though he wasn't sure what they were fighting about, I wondered how I'd gotten so lucky._

_I'd gone from being on my own to having a pack to look out for me. They weren't perfect, but neither was I. We all fought – some more than others – and when it came to prioritizing, we could never agree._

_Kiba kept saying we were searching for Paradise, but as far as I was concerned, we'd already found it._

* * *

><p>Toboe was staring at me imploringly when I returned. "<em>Well<em>?"

I blinked, unsure of how to describe just what I'd experienced, but I knew he understood. It was his memory, after all. "I – I never knew – "

He nodded, sensing that I was too bewildered to continue. "Kiba, Tsume, and Hige meant everything to me. When I died, I came here with the impression that once all was said and done, we'd be together. But that wasn't the case. I was alone with Granny for less than one thousand years before her soul disappeared. The others never came here, but I couldn't miss them. I want to, I _know_ I should, but just experiencing them now through the events in your life is enough for me."

"Are they different than how they used to be?"

He nodded slightly, glancing down at the ground. "Hige especially. I feel flashes of sadness for him from time to time, but nothing I can dwell on for long. Kiba's more caring. Before, he kept us all at arm's length, for his main goal was to reach Paradise. If he found it like I did, I'm not sure. It's one of the only things I _don't_ know, to be honest with you. Kiba improved, though he still has his walls. Tsume on the other hand… sometimes I can't believe how different he is."

"What do you mean?"

"Surely you've noticed how he frets over everyone, you especially!" Toboe exclaimed. "That's a miracle in itself. Like you heard in the memory, he always used to insult everyone. I don't know how many times I tried to be his friend and he just pushed me away. I understand now that he was afraid of being hurt, but back then it was hard to comprehend. He's still cool about his feelings, but when the time comes, he'll defend you with his life. If you ever doubt anything I have to say, don't doubt that. They'll all protect you even if it means dying. That's what friends do."

"Do you know where Blue is?" I inquired, mostly for Hige's benefit.

Toboe's tail wagged, and once more, a mischievous glint appeared in his eyes. "If I told you, that would ruin the surprise, now wouldn't it?"

I rolled my eyes, listening as he huffed in laughter. "You're impossible."

"I am what I am." He told me, looking up at the sky as a bird flew by. "I think it's time I left this place."

"What do you mean?"

"It's beautiful, but I miss the rain." I caught a wistful tone in his voice. "It never rains here. The sun always shines."

"That can't be all that you miss."

"Oh, I miss everything. Rain, snow, hardships, everything life entails." He said enthusiastically, tail wagging. "I'm ready to be apart of it again."

"So, how does this work?" I questioned. "I mean… will you take over my body?"

I didn't know how I would feel if that were to happen, b this was his human body, after all. I wouldn't put up a fight if he was going to suddenly take control again, but if that happened, what would become of me?

He kept saying we were the same being, but I was still confused. The idea of two different consciences living in one body didn't sound particularly fun. Maybe I would be given the opportunity to try my hand at staying in Paradise. But I didn't want to forget how to feel like he had.

"Oh, it'll be nothing like that." Toboe said reassuringly, shaking his head. "You'll be dominant, don't worry."

"What does that mean, though?"

"Everything will come in time." He said simply, sitting down in front of me. "I promise you that nothing bad is going to happen. Do you trust me?"

I nodded without hesitation, because I did. I trusted Toboe, because unlike what I'd believed prior to coming here, he was just like me. He'd been alone in the world, scared, confused, afraid of others and hesitant to leave everything he'd known all his life behind in favor of pipe dream that promised something better.

All he'd wanted was companionship, something he'd lost when he killed Granny. Just as he'd said, he and I were one in the same. But we'd lost one another, and now I was ready to accept him back.

I was ready to be me again.

* * *

><p><em>A.N.<em> Once again, thank you to all who reviewed! Your reviews make me smile, and I always get excited when I read one.


	18. Hello, Goodbye

_**Chapter 17: Hello, Goodbye**_

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><p>Rain on the window. Someone's breathing. Muted voices. My own heartbeat.<p>

I was aware of all those things, yet I couldn't figure out just what to focus on. I settled on my heartbeat, because it was strong and reassuring. If my heart was beating, I was alive. I was okay.

I released a small groan, because as I became more aware, I started to feel the pounding in my head. What had happened to cause it?

"Toboe? Are you awake now?"

_Cheza. _I recognized her voice, her scent. Was she in this strange, dark place with me? Was she as confused as I was?

"Is he okay, Cheza? He's not saying anything." _Tsume._

I jolted, and a flash of pain ran through me. I whimpered.

"Don't you remember how painful it is to shift for the first time, Tsume?" I thought that was Kiba's voice. "He'll need a moment to recover."

Recover? Recover from what? And then suddenly, my eyes shot open, and I remembered.

I was Toboe Asher. I was a Reborn. I had run away from home a month ago in search of Paradise with Kiba, Hige, and Tsume. Snow had managed to find me, and Cheza had promised to make me _me _again, sending me to Paradise to meet up with the Toboe time had long forgotten.

But had it worked? I didn't feel much different, aside from the terrible pain in my limbs.

We were still in the hotel room. The storm had finally set in, and the rain was pouring down outside. I saw the worry on my friends' faces, along with a look of cautious anticipation on Hige's. I looked away.

I remembered my time in Paradise. Toboe had said he was going to merge with me, but… I didn't feel any different. Was this what he had meant when he said I'd be the dominant conscience? Somehow, it didn't make me feel any better when it came to the subject of having stolen his life. What had been the point in finding him if I was still the same as I'd been before Cheza turned human?

"How do you feel, Toboe?" Cheza asked me from above, and I realized my head was resting in her lap. One of her hands was running down the length of my side, and I wondered how awkward it must've looked.

"Like I was hit by a train."

"You screamed like you were." Hige said, earning a heated glare from Tsume. "We're lucky the storm was so loud. No one even came to see what was up."

I huffed in laughter, wincing at the pain it caused me. I started to push myself into a sitting position, but froze as I became aware of something both terrifying and interesting.

Slowly, I let my eyes shift to where my hands were. But there were no fingers, no skin at all that I could see. With wide eyes, I lifted my hand – _paw_ – off the ground, flinching when I realized it was indeed attached to my body. "What – "

"You began to shift shortly after you fell unconscious." Kiba said calmly, obviously sensing the panic rising up within me. "You're in pain because your bones and muscles had to break and reform in order to accommodate your new body. It won't be as painful after this, I promise."

"But I – " I cut myself off, heaving myself to my feet, muscles screaming in protest.

My legs shook, and just the fact that I was so close to the ground made my stomach churn. Toboe never said this would happen when he merged with me. He said he'd give me one memory, nothing else. Why hadn't he warned me that when he returned from Paradise that my ability to turn into a wolf would be restored? It seemed like information I would've wanted to know previously.

I swung my head around, eyeing the fluffy, brown appendage that was hanging lifelessly behind me. As I stared at the tail, it twitched. "I didn't do that!" I cried.

"Well, your tail kind of reacts to your emotions." Hige said uncertainly, sharing a worried glance with Kiba before quickly looking away, suddenly remembering the recent bad blood between them. For a split second, I felt sorry for him, but the panic I felt quickly overcame it.

"I didn't ask for this!" I said, staring over at Cheza imploringly. She looked rather pleased with herself, practically ignoring my feelings on the situation. "I just wanted my memory back, not _this!_"

"What's the problem?" Tsume asked. "Don't you remember how it feels to be a wolf now?"

I opened my mouth to say that despite what they'd been told, I couldn't remember any more than I had when Cheza kissed me, but Cheza beat me to it.

"Toboe only received the memory he thought was best." She said simply, raising her hand to rest it on the top of my head. I felt my ears lower at the touch, and I stifled a whine. It seemed as if my body wasn't in my control. "The rest will come in time."

"If he didn't remember, why the hell did he scream like that?" Tsume demanded.

"Shifting is painful, Tsume." Kiba said, repeating his earlier statement. "I'd be worried if he hadn't screamed."

I knew I was overreacting, that the tremors coursing through my body were unjustified and childish. I'd known I was a wolf. So what if I had the body to prove it now? But actually being a wolf was different than hearing about it, just as I'd said to Toboe back in Paradise.

All I wanted was to push myself up and walk on two legs, to have the ability to wiggle my fingers. This was all too foreign and unreal. It was then that I realized that some part of me had been in denial all along. When I was human, this had never seemed like a possibility. But now it was the truth, it had happened, and I was scared.

My head lowered, and I flinched when I felt my tail follow suit. "I don't want it." I stated. "_Please_, change me back."

I didn't think the others were aware of how upset I was until then. The looks of shock on their faces were almost too much to bear. And as I watched them watch me, I started to feel angry.

They had no idea what I was going through. They'd been born as wolves, this was _normal_ to them. But this wasn't what I was used to.

I growled, the sound reverberating in my throat, and I felt my lips pull back into a snarl. A part of me couldn't believe what I was doing, but I couldn't stop it. My emotions were much like my new body at that point. I couldn't control them.

"Don't do this now, Toboe." Kiba said, his voice hard. "You're still too weak."

"Too weak for what?" I demanded. "I'm obviously strong enough to change species, why can't I do everything else?"

"We didn't know this would happen to you." Hige decided to be the voice of reason this time.

Another growl was about to escape me when I felt Cheza's hand on my head again. I was paralyzed instantly, just like before, though this time, I didn't feel any pain. A calm rushed over my mind and the anger went away almost as quickly as it had appeared.

"Toboe, sit." She said.

And despite myself, I did. She cooed at me encouragingly, her fingers moving in circles at the base of my ears. I didn't want to admit it, but it felt nice.

After a few minutes of tense silence with nothing but the sound of my breathy pants and the thunder outside to keep me from losing my mind, Kiba spoke. "So, what happened?"

I stifled a tired groan, sliding to the ground beside Cheza in exhaustion. I felt as if I'd been awake for days, unable to find solace in sleep. My visit to Paradise had drained me, or maybe it was my unconscious transformation that had left me so weary.

"I – I saw him." I mumbled.

"Saw who?" Hige asked curiously.

"Me." I said, ignoring the looks they gave me. "The old me. T – The one you guys knew."

"What does that mean?"

"This One sent Toboe to Paradise." Cheza said soothingly, hands still moving over my aching body. "His memories were there, waiting, along with his wolf side. The two of them merged, and now Toboe is complete once more. Still broken, but complete."

Cheza's words probably didn't make much sense to the others, but I felt a sense of relief. She understood my situation and exactly how I felt about it. They believed that once I had my memories back, I would be okay again.

But that wasn't the case. I still didn't have all of my memories, and even if I did ever receive them all, I wouldn't be a perfect wolf. I was broken, inside and out, and it meant the world to me that Cheza understood that.

"You can send wolves to Paradise?" Hige said, eyes filled with wonder. "That's amazing! Why didn't we just do that from the start?"

Cheza giggled. "This One didn't send him to Paradise _completely. _Only his unconscious spirit. It was temporary. Only those who reach Paradise on their own are allowed to enter it fully."

"Well, that's a drag."

"It makes sense." Kiba said, not looking at Hige. I so desperately wanted the two of them to make up. Watching them act so distantly with one another wasn't right. "Nothing in life is handed to you. You achieve greatness by working hard for it."

"Well, I'd say we've worked hard in both of our lives." Tsume said, falling back on the bed, crossing his arms behind his head. "We deserve something great."

I closed my eyes, leaning further into the warmth of Cheza's body. For a flower, she felt so human. But I supposed I could say the same for myself. I'd been living under false pretenses all my life, a wolf trapped inside a human body, although I couldn't help but wonder if that was accurate. My wolf side had been in Paradise. Had I been a full-fledged human since my birth?

All this thinking was making my head hurt, among other things.

"Toboe, Cheza said you only received one memory." Hige's voice flooded through my sensitive ears. "What was it?"

I didn't open my eyes. "It's… hard to explain. He just showed me what had meant the most to him… to me, I guess." No one asked me what had been the most important, but I knew they were curious. They were just too nice to ask flat out. "It was you guys. That's all he – I cared about. After I killed Granny, I guess I was terrified of getting close to anyone. But then Tsume came along and – " I paused, opening my eyes. "Everything changed. I wasn't alone anymore."

It amazed me how our meeting had meant the same to me in both of my lives. I was alone in both worlds, desperate for companionship but too afraid to do something about it. Then out of the blue, they showed up and changed my life in more ways than one. I knew I would always be thankful. If it weren't for them, I'd probably still be back in Fairfield with Snow and –

I suddenly realized that I hadn't seen Snow since I woke up. "Where's Snow?" I demanded anxiously, starting to get to my paws once more, but Cheza only pressed me back down with a gentle hand, and I had no strength to fight her.

Hige sighed heavily, leaning over on the bed to reach over the edge, pulling up the skirt hanging off the bed. Snow was crouched underneath the springs, body trembling slightly as she locked eyes with me. I realized with a jolt that she was afraid.

"She doesn't know what's going on." Kiba explained. "You smell like the human she's used to, but she doesn't know if it's you or not."

"How do you know?" I asked hoarsely.

"Well, being animals ourselves, we can speak their language, Toboe." Hige answered, trying to coax Snow out into the open to no avail. "We can understand what she's saying. Currently, she's being a foul-mouthed little feline."

Snow hissed, blue eyes darting up to glare at Hige before moving back to me.

"Why can't I understand her, then?" I demanded.

The prospect of speaking to my pet was both exciting and terrifying. I didn't know if I wanted to understand her now. What must she think of me? Did cats really harbor a hatred for dogs of all kinds, including wolves? She had hated Hige – who was Bear, then – but was that only because she'd considered him a threat? I was no danger to her, and I desperately wanted her to know that.

"Everything that being a wolf entails won't come right away, Toboe." Tsume told me. "Talking to animals won't come until you're more in tune with your basic instincts. Same goes for shifting to a human again, and howling."

"Howling?" I echoed, still gazing sadly at Snow. "How hard can it be to howl?"

"A howl is a more… spiritual aspect of a wolf." Kiba said slowly, as if unsure of how to explain it to me without being confusing. "Like Tsume said, you have to be more in tune with your wolf side for it to come about. If you try before that happens, nothing will happen."

I didn't want to test his theory, because I didn't want to admit that I wasn't all that keen about being a wolf in the first place. Talking to animals and howling might never come easily for me.

"Just talk to her." Hige encouraged me, still holding the bottom of the skirt up so Snow was in plain sight. "She can understand you, even if you can't understand her. Tell her things only you would know."

I nodded, wracking my brain for something that would mean anything to Snow. "Remember when you were about six months old, and you got yourself stuck in a tree at the park back home?" I said slowly. "I had to climb up to get you, and that pair of blue jays attacked us because they thought we were invading their nest."

Snow's ear twitched. I obviously had her attention. "We went home with a few cuts and bruises since I fell out of the tree, and Airi and Kato made fun of me for being chased off by a bunch of birds." I cut myself off to laugh. "And then you went into their rooms and left them a nice surprise. That was the first time you'd never used the litter box. Did you do that because they made me cry? Were you trying to get back at them?"

Slowly, Snow began to creep forward, limping slightly, head raising a bit as she moved closer to me, her pace quickening with every step.

"She said she did do it on purpose." Hige translated for me as she let out a meow, a relieved sort of gleam in his eyes. "That they deserved it."

I laughed as Snow purred, rubbing her head underneath my chin, settling herself in between my forelegs. I was relieved she wasn't afraid of me and recognized who I was despite my change in appearance. That proved to me that our bond was unbreakable. Even the laws of nature couldn't keep us apart.

"This One is happy." Cheza exclaimed, leaning down to wrap her arms around my neck in a gentle hug. "She missed you all so much."

"We missed you too, Cheza." Kiba said to her. "It's kind of hard to believe that you're back."

Cheza nodded, and for a moment, I thought she was going to cry. "This One feels the same."

"So, about Toboe." Tsume said, pushing himself up once more, suddenly interested in everything Cheza had to say. "When will he get _all _of his memories back?"

Cheza tipped her head slightly. "This One does not know. Toboe's memories will come in time, sometimes at random moments and others when he sees something that triggers them."

"So, he can remember at any given moment?" Hige asked, looking extremely forlorn. He was voicing my worst fear. Was I going to be like him now? "Will he be… like me?"

Cheza didn't even have to ask to know what Hige was talking about. "No. The manner in which Toboe received his memories is different than how you got them, Hige." She actually sounded a little bit apologetic. "It is hard to explain to you, but your brain operates differently than the others'. It cannot categorize them correctly. This problem is most likely caused by the happenings leading up to your death, which caused lasting damage to your brain."

"So, I was born with my exact body like Tsume?" Hige asked, confused. "If that's the case, how come I wasn't born with a gash along my throat?"

I shivered, and Snow pressed closer to me, sensing the difference in my mood. I'd never asked about how any of them had died. A gash across the throat wasn't a mental image I wanted to have when I pictured Hige.

Cheza shook her head in response. "You all have the same brains, just different bodies. Where do you think your memories were stored all this time? Toboe has the same brain as before, just not the memories. They were with his wolf half."

"And yet they still remain dormant, even though he's 'complete' again." Tsume said with a huff.

"Cheza, I have a question." Kiba said, eyes intense as he stared at the Flower Maiden. "If you could fix Toboe's problem, could you do the same for the rest of us?"

Hige stared at the floor in the wake of Kiba's question. I knew Kiba wasn't really asking for himself, but for Hige, who was worsening by the day. I wondered when the day would come when Hige experienced an attack so bad that something terrible might happen to him.

"This One did not fix Toboe." Cheza corrected Kiba. "She sent his spirit to Paradise, where he fixed himself. Nothing she can do will reverse the damage done by your deaths permanently. This One is sorry."

"It's not a big deal." Hige said stubbornly, just as Kiba opened his mouth to comment. "Either way, I don't want help. I can take care of this on my own."

"Hige." Kiba said in exasperation, but Hige didn't say anything further on the subject, staring a hole in the carpet once more.

I watched the pair sadly, as did Cheza and Tsume, while Snow only sensed the tension in the air and lashed her tail anxiously. The chaotic feelings coursing throughout each and every one of us was reflected in the storm raging outside, and I wondered how long things would be like this.

"We should go back to sleep." Tsume suggested after a while, getting out of the bed. It wasn't even noon yet, and we were all still exhausted, me especially. "Come on, Kiba, we'll move to the pullout couch so Cheza can have the bed."

Cheza didn't argue, probably aware that it would get her nowhere, and rubbed my head one last time before getting up. I stood up on shaky legs as well, Snow trailing after me as I hobbled over to the bed Hige was sitting on.

The jump up to the bed seemed especially daunting, and I felt my ears lower as Snow jumped up ahead of me despite her injured paw. We would really have to get that checked out.

I was determined to do this on my own, though, so despite my aching muscles, I crouched before jumping onto the bed, almost falling over when the pain erupted even more violently than before.

"You okay, Toboe?" Tsume asked me.

I nodded, straightening so as not to appear as jolted as I felt. "I'm fine."

I crawled under the covers out of habit, not caring if my newly acquired fur meant that I would probably no longer feel the chill of the hotel room. It was familiar, and for now it was all I desired.

Snow curled up on top of the covers, just like she had when I was a human, pressing against my side. Before I closed my eyes, however, I caught a glimpse of Hige's face in the dim light. Maybe he thought I wasn't paying attention and figured it was safe, or maybe he just didn't care anymore, but never before had I ever seen Hige cry. Sure he'd screamed, raged, and snarled while he was in his fits, but never had he cried.

I saw the frustration on his face as he stared up at the ceiling, hands fisted into the sheets in an effort to contain his sorrow. I wanted to tell him that he was all right, that we would get him help and everything would be fine. But I didn't know that, and I was a terrible liar.

So, I closed my eyes and turned away, letting Hige have his moment of conscious weakness. It was the least I could do for him.

* * *

><p>Keep head and tail low. Step lightly. Stay downwind.<p>

All of those things kept running around in my mind as I stalked through the trees, taking care to keep low to the ground.

In my sights was a squirrel. The poor thing didn't know I was coming, but I couldn't find myself to feel sorry for it. When I hunted, absolutely nothing else mattered. My surroundings almost faded away, and it was the only time I felt in control.

I forced down a growl, something I tended to do if I got too excited about something. Tsume had already lectured me about it when I'd ruined a hunt because I made too much noise.

I wasn't going to screw this one up. The past two days since my trip to Paradise had been spent with Tsume, Kiba, and Hige teaching me how to be a wolf. Their lessons were both amusing and tiring.

I eyed a pile of leaves in front of me, no doubt an obstacle that Tsume or Kiba had set up, and stepped over it slowly, feeling quite smug. My prey lifted its head, and I froze, one paw still poised in the air. Its nose twitched, a fluffy tail jerked, and then it went back to the nut it was eating, completely oblivious to the oncoming danger.

I was about to spring when a scent hit my nose, and I stifled a snarl of frustration. Tsume's scent was being carried along the wind. No doubt he'd done it on purpose to screw this up for me. The squirrel lifted its head once more, sniffed the air, and then bolted for the safety of a nearby tree.

No longer bothering to stay silent, I leapt from the undergrowth and tore across the clearing, managing to snag the squirrel by its tail as it started to dart up the trunk. I threw it to the ground hastily, ignoring its shrill squeal, and delivered a swift bite to the back of the neck, pulling away before the blood could register on my tongue.

It didn't matter if I was capable of killing small animals without feeling much remorse. The taste of the blood was still something I couldn't handle. This kill of mine would either be eaten by the others or left for some scavenger.

"That was a dirty trick!" I called, tail lashing behind me angrily. "I almost didn't catch it."

"Yeah, but you did." Tsume's deep growl came from the darkness of the woods, and he appeared like a silent ghost in the night, his fur almost blending in with his surroundings. Kiba appeared in the direction I had come from, having had the decency to stay downwind and out of the way. "You have to be prepared for things like that. The wind could easily shift at any given moment and give you away."

I huffed, eyeing the dead squirrel at my paws. "It wasn't much of a challenge to begin with."

"Maybe in a few weeks you can move on to bigger game." Kiba said, moving in a circle around me.

"Why can't I move on now?"

"You're hardly bigger than any deer you'll find around here." Tsume told me, eyes oddly sharp as he gazed around the woods. I watched him curiously, wondering what he was doing. "Wait for your next growth spurt and then we'll talk."

It wasn't common for Tsume to be on high alert when we came out here in the mornings. Joggers and hikers came to the woods often in the early hours of the day, but by now it was midday, and the heat would deter most humans. With no rain clouds in sight, we were the only ones brave enough to venture out in the heat, it seemed.

Not that I minded. Hunting was fun and it helped me learn how to control my wolf half. I still preferred to be human, but I was slowly becoming more comfortable with walking on four legs.

I ignored Tsume as Kiba moved forward to inspect my kill, turning it over with his paw. "You nearly mangled the poor thing's tail." He said, a hint of amusement in his voice.

I lowered my head, feeling sheepish. "I got carried away." With a glare in Tsume's direction, I added, "I was in a rush because _somebody _thought it was necessary to add on an extra challenge."

"I thought the squirrel wasn't even a challenge to begin with?" Tsume retorted, looking almost as amused as Kiba.

Ever since I'd first woken up as a wolf two days ago, the way the others handled me had changed. Tsume was more open, teasing me and making my life harder than it needed to be, just like Toboe had told me he had in our past life.

Kiba had turned into a teacher of some sort, showing me how to behave as a wolf and at times hovering just like he did with Hige. I didn't mind, because I knew he meant well. If it would help me come to terms with everything sooner, I was all for it.

"We should probably be heading back." Kiba said, picking up the squirrel and carrying it over to the bushes, tossing it unceremoniously. I watched, feeling frustrated. All that work for nothing. "We need to check on Hige, Cheza, and Snow."

Tsume and I didn't complain. We didn't say anything at all, actually. It didn't matter if we'd only been in the woods for half an hour at the most, because we were just as anxious to get back as Kiba was.

Earlier that morning, around four or so, Hige had an attack unlike any of us had seen before. It started out similar to the others, with Hige staring off at a spot on the wall for a few moments before coming back to himself.

But that hadn't been the case that time. When his eyes had refocused, he hadn't looked the same. In fact, he hadn't been the same at all. He hadn't recognized us, hadn't known where he was, or _who_ he was for that matter. Like me, Hige hadn't remembered anything. We almost didn't leave for the woods because of it, but Cheza had told us that she would watch Hige while we were gone. So, reluctantly, we'd left.

And now all we wanted to do was get back to the hotel to see if Hige was okay, or if his short-term memory loss was more permanent then we wanted to believe.

After checking to make sure we were ready to go, Kiba broke into a run, racing back toward the park. Tsume and I followed at a slightly slower pace, letting Kiba take the lead.

In the days following their fight, Hige and Kiba had yet to reconcile. They were civil, but Hige didn't seem willing to open up to Kiba anymore, and to my utter frustration, Kiba was doing nothing about it.

I'd said something to Tsume when it had been just the two of us out on a hunt, and he'd said it was their pride that kept getting in the way, Hige's especially. He hated feeling vulnerable, and his dependence on Kiba had probably reached intolerable levels in his mind.

I was just hoping the feud would end soon. I wasn't about to pick a side, but it was growing increasingly hard to be around the both of them when their conversations seemed so forced. Kiba was still as fretful as ever, but it wasn't received well on Hige's end.

All I could hope was that Hige would at least remember who Kiba was when we got back.

When we reached the park, Kiba and Tsume shifted into their human forms while I trotted ahead of them, sniffing at the ground like a dog. There was no one around to see, but you could never be too careful.

We'd all been on high alert for days, waiting for the police to show since Kiba was certain they'd tried to track my phone call to my mom. Whether they'd intercepted the signal before it disappeared was unknown to us, but everything had been quiet so far. But when you were on the run, you could never relax.

I allowed my tongue to roll out of my mouth as we walked down the street. The heat was starting to get to me, and my thick fur was doing nothing to solve the problem. I was still unable to return to my human form, so there wasn't much I could do.

Cheza kept saying that once I got the hang of being a wolf, my brain would stop trying to process and my ability to shift would come almost naturally. But that day wasn't coming any time soon, it seemed, and all I really wanted at this point was to be able to sweat. That was probably number two on my list of things I missed about being human, second to being able to use a proper toilet.

We walked into the hotel without contest, and I thought it was just our luck that this particular establishment allowed pets. It had been a long discussion on Kiba's part to explain to the manager how they'd acquired a dog in the first place, but now I was a regular at the hotel.

The woman seemed to like me enough, although their constant petting and cooing would have made me blush if I were able. The only hitch was that I wasn't allowed in the elevator, and bounding up the stairs proved to be difficult since there was nothing for my claws to grip on to. I'd nearly fallen down on more than one occasion, and it was completely embarrassing when Tsume always insisted on carrying me up. I thought he only did it to make me feel just that – embarrassed.

The door was unlocked when we reached our room, and everything was eerily silent. I feared the worst, but realized there was a reason for the quiet.

All was calm. Cheza was sitting in the middle of the floor, humming softly under her breath while she stroked Hige's head slowly. He was a wolf now, unlike how he'd been earlier this morning, human and almost delusional. His eyes were closed, but the calm, slow breaths he took resembled those of someone who was asleep.

Snow was curled up on top of the air-conditioner, eyes closed while her injured paw and one of her hind legs dangled over the edge lazily. Her injury had sadly gone unattended to. The veterinarian's office in town was closed due to renovations, and her limp had started to disappear. But I feared that maybe her injury had healed wrong. If that turned out to be the case, somewhere down the line, we'd have to break it again to fix it.

Cheza looked up when Tsume closed the door, giving us a warm smile in greeting.

"How is he?" Kiba asked quietly, not wanting to wake Hige.

"Better." She replied, glancing down at the unconscious wolf once more. "He is fine now. He will be normal when he awakes."

Normal was kind of a subjective term in our lives, especially when it came to Hige. With Hige unwilling to accept Kiba's help, Cheza was normally the one to calm down Hige if he went into a fit. A single touch from her would paralyze him even in the most violent of rages, and the sound of her singing normally put him to sleep.

Sometimes even I had trouble keeping my eyes open when she started to sing. Cheza could make Hige forget for a few hours at most, but he was sure to be back to normal once the affects of Cheza's mere essence wore off. Cheza helped, but she wasn't the cure Hige so desperately needed.

"Good." Kiba said, sitting down on the bed heavily, eyes darkened with exhaustion. "I'm glad he's okay."

"Just apologize already so Porky doesn't have to keep hurting himself like this." Tsume said, his voice holding an accusatory tone. "He's refusing help because of you, you know."

"Tsume." I snapped quietly with a small growl, shaking my head slightly.

Kiba sighed, running a hand through his hair restlessly. "I know."

"He is only frightened." Cheza said gently. "Of the unknown, of what will happen to him once the psychosis takes over."

It seemed that Hige's condition had so many names. No one called it the same thing. Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, PTSD, psychosis, the list went on and on. I didn't even think Hige knew what to call it. I had no name for it at all. I didn't care what it was, it was just a part of Hige that I had come to accept.

"What can we do to help him?" Kiba asked, mostly talking to himself, sounding frustrated.

"We can only keep his nightmares at bay." Cheza said. "In truth, the only thing that will help Hige now is his medicine."

Kiba stiffened, and I noticed how even Tsume looked irritated. I didn't like the idea either, but Cheza did have a point. Even if Hige had been practically drugged into a stupor during most of his childhood, it had kept his memories in check.

All the solutions we tried to come up with had failed, and now it seemed as if the medicine the WRA had created was our only hope. Even Cheza admitted that to be so, and I had long learned that she knew nearly everything about the world we lived in. She appeared oblivious and bubbly, yet she knew so much more than any of us could ever dream.

Snow opened her eyes, sneezing once before standing up and stretching her body out. She jumped down onto the carpet lightly, hardly making a sound, and made her way over to me, weaving around my legs. I still couldn't understand her when she spoke, but I felt as if we were closer than ever now that we were both animals. I could tell she was still getting used to it, but then again, so was I. We would both get over this together.

Cheza stilled suddenly, the hand that was on Hige's head pausing in its administrations.

"What's wrong, Cheza?" Tsume asked, seeing her change in demeanor as well.

She said nothing for a moment, head tilted slightly. "The police are here."

No one had to say anything. Cheza knew of our situation with the law. She was aware of how much a statement such as that would affect us. But this wasn't just a small scare. This was a warning.

Kiba was already on his feet, moving over toward the door and bolting it shut. "Wake Hige up." He ordered. "We have to get moving."

"Wake up." Cheza said softly, and Hige's eyes opened instantly.

He blinked a few times, eyes still foggy with sleep, but he managed to push himself into a sitting position, his fur melting into skin. "What's going on?" He yawned, rubbing at his eye with the heel of his palm.

"We've been found." Tsume said grimly, and I had the decency to lower my head in shame. I knew this was my fault. If I'd never called my mom, the police wouldn't be here, and Hige and Kiba wouldn't be fighting. I'd caused everyone so much grief. "We have to get moving."

"Oh, geez." Hige grumbled, raising his arms over his head in a long stretch. It was obvious the affects of Cheza's song still hadn't worn off. He was being far too calm in the wake of this new development. That would either make the evacuation extremely easy or impossibly hard.

There was no need to gather anything. Kiba and Tsume had started keeping our things in the car in preparation for this, but it was evident that we wouldn't be able to make an escape by car this time. I could hear the police sirens from down below. They were all over the place.

"They're coming up the stairs." Cheza said, getting to her feet.

"We'll have to go down the fire escape." Kiba said, unlatching the window and lifting it up. "Toboe, take Snow and go first. Once you get down there, don't go anywhere. Wait for the rest of us."

I nodded, grabbing Snow by the loose fur on her neck and hauling her over to the window, placing my front paws on the window sill before heaving myself up and over it, landing on the hot, black metal of the fire escape below.

It was the problem with the stairs in the hotel all over again. I couldn't get a firm hold on anything, my claws creating a terrible noise as I scrambled down the steps, trying not to bang Snow into anything that might hurt her.

Cheza followed soon after, then Hige, Tsume, and finally Kiba. We stayed positioned in the alley for a few moments, Tsume and Hige shifting into their wolf forms while Kiba took a hold of Cheza's hand, peering around the edge of the brick wall. The police officers that had showed up were nowhere in sight, probably up at the room, prepared to barge in only to find us gone.

"Don't start running until I say." Kiba said calmly, turning to fix us with a hard stare, blue eyes flecked with bits of yellow.

We all nodded, following him out into the light of the day, walking down the sidewalk away from the hotel. It was hard to keep my composure when every instinct I had was yelling at me to take off and hide in the safety of the trees. With Snow dangling from my jaws, we were probably a peculiar sight. Maybe the locals would think I was one of the dogs that had been attacking pets recently. That would attract a lot of unwanted attention.

"We'll get away." Hige said with a small snort, still oblivious. "We always do."

It was then that we heard a bark, and my blood ran cold when I turned to see where it had come from. It was the black lab, Sasha, the dog of the man sent out to locate me. She was sniffing the air, staring at us from the front of the hotel.

Kiba stared her down, but she didn't move, didn't flinch. She emitted a soft woof, and I could see the fur rising on the back of her neck. Then she barked again, louder this time, and didn't stop.

"Run." Kiba said.

And we did. It was an awkward situation for me, trying to run as fast as I could while being mindful to not jostle Snow too much. Eventually I gave up on trying to be cautious and just ran, the fear of being caught starting to take over.

Sasha kept barking, and I could hear men shouting. Quent. The police officers. They were coming.

We ran for the park, resolving to come back for the car under the cover of darkness, or whenever the excitement had died down. Entering the trees for the second time that day, Kiba shifted into a wolf and led us silently through the undergrowth, almost blending in with the scenery despite his snowy white pelt.

We had to maneuver our way around a thorn bush, and in my haste to follow Kiba, I ran straight into it, receiving nasty cuts that stung with every move I made and dampened my fur with blood. But I didn't stop for a second. Once we were concealed with the bushes, Kiba finally slowed down, taking in the situation and deciding what we should do next.

I panted around Snow's fur, having a hard time catching my breath. I refused to put her down, no matter how much she struggled, but the feeling of her body in my jaws was making something sinister stir within me.

I could feel her pulse, the beat of her heart. Every instinct in my body was telling me to bite hard and not let go until the body stopped shaking. But my human instincts overcame my wolf ones, and I resolved to keep Snow safe. That was all I could do at the moment.

"Is he still coming?" Hige asked, voice trembling almost as much as his body. He had finally returned to himself, the adrenaline probably having pushed his blissfully ignorant state away unusually fast.

Kiba said nothing, body stiff as he stared back in the direction we'd come, ears pricked.

"Yes." Tsume answered for him. "The dog's ahead of him. She's catching up."

"What do we do?"

I glanced ahead of us, at Cheza's form that was walking through the trees, moving further and further away. I watched her, head pounding with indecisiveness. Escaping further into the woods was risky, especially if we needed to come back for the car later. It proved to be a good method of shaking Quent and his dog, but what chance did we really have?

But then I remembered the creek. Maybe if we disguised our scent in the mud, Sasha would lose us. Even now, I could hear her lumbering gate back in the undergrowth. If we stayed still for too long, she'd catch us. Snow meowed in my grip, and the sound brought me back to reality.

My only wish was to get everyone out of there safely. It was all that I wanted.

So, I followed Cheza.

"Toboe, what are you doing?" Tsume called after me, and I heard footsteps as either he or Hige made a move to follow me.

"The creek." I responded around Snow's downy fur, knowing that would explain my intent enough. And after a few moments, everyone followed after us.

We caught up to Cheza quickly, Kiba and Tsume taking the lead to intercept any officers that may have managed to circle around us while we were stopped.

We reached the muddy creek bed uncontested, but there was still a major problem. With all the rains, the creek had flooded, no longer a small, peaceful stream, but a raging, fast churning river. The muddy wall that we normally would have had to climb up to reach the other side was nearly gone, hidden under several feet of water.

We all stared across while Hige paced in agitation, the sounds of Sasha and Quent getting closer and closer.

"We'll have to jump." Kiba stated grimly, turning to face us. "It's the only way."

"Are you insane?" Hige demanded with a yelp. "There's no way we can – "

"We can, and we will." Kiba snapped, turning to look at Cheza. "Cheza, climb on my back and I'll take you across."

The Flower Maiden nodded, her expression as serious as I'd ever seen it. She understood the severity of the situation we were in. If we were caught, Quent would shoot on sight, because that's what the officials here had told him to do. The wolves that lived in the area were causing us more trouble than they were worth.

When Cheza was situated on his back, Kiba bunched his muscles and leapt across the water, practically suspended in the air. I held my breath, but he landed on the other side easily.

"Alright, Hige, your turn." Tsume said.

Hige looked anything but enthusiastic, eyes wary and slightly terrified as he approached the edge of the bank, peering down into the muddy water below him. I knew that he was thinking about the bridge, about the sound his sisters made when they hit the ground.

He was just as terrified of water as he was heights, knowing that he could have easily drowned had Kiba not shown up to save him. This was Hige's worst fear, and all of us knew that he was nowhere near ready to face it. But he had no choice now.

"Hige, come on." Kiba called encouragingly, shifting his weight from paw to paw on the other side of the bank as if he were fighting the urge to jump back to our side and protect Hige from this new development. But he knew he couldn't. Hige was too heavy to ride on Kiba's back, and even so, he probably couldn't turn into a human in the state we was in. "You can do it. I know you can."

Hige didn't move. From my view behind Tsume, it didn't even look like he was breathing. Slowly, I set Snow down, telling her to stay put before creeping up to stand beside Hige. He was still staring down into the churning water beneath us, lost in thought.

"There's no ice." He said.

I shook my head, pressing against his side. "No. If you fall, it won't hurt. Nothing will break."

"I don't want to fall."

"Then don't." I urged. "Don't fall. Jump and Kiba will be there to help you, just like he always is."

He didn't speak, didn't move, and I started to panic as I heard the barking of Sasha, the thundering of Quent's footsteps. But there were more humans in the woods besides him. They were all coming for us.

"Do it for Hope." I said quickly. "Don't you want to see her again? You're her brother, she loves you. Don't let what happened to her control you, Hige. She's not afraid anymore, so you shouldn't be either."

At first, I thought Hige was going to ignore me and refuse to jump, and when he started to back away from the edge, I was certain we'd be forced to find another way to escape, but then he charged and cleared the water, landing on the other side.

But the muddied ground beneath his paws gave way and he slipped back, his lower half dangling over the edge while he frantically tried to claw the unstable ground in front of him. Cheza started to scream, and Kiba surged forward, sinking his teeth into the fur around Hige's neck, pulling him back up.

I released a shaky sigh of relief once Hige was safe, glancing back at Tsume. "Now you." He said.

I hesitated, glancing over at the others, safely across the water. "No."

"_What?"_

"You go with Snow first." I explained quickly, backing away from the edge. "I – I can't make the jump if I don't know that everyone else is already safe."

"Toboe, that's ridiculous." He said with a growl. "There's no way I'm – "

"Please? If you go with Snow, I'll know for certain that you'll all be waiting for me when I jump across." I was practically begging, the fur on my stomach brushing against the ground as I crouched before Tsume. It was a submissive gesture in wolf terms, yet I saw it as my own way of getting on my knees and pleading with Tsume to do this. I couldn't jump across with Snow in my hold, and there was no way I'd jump while she was on the wrong side of the water. "Then I'll _have_ to make it."

I could see the conflicted feelings raging within Tsume, how angry he was with me for putting him in this position. He wanted to comply, but my request was asking too much of him. But then he nodded curtly, eyes devoid of any emotion as he picked up Snow by the scruff of her neck.

Snow hissed, starting to struggle, but I leaned forward and pressed the tip of my nose against hers.

"You'll be fine." I said gently. "Tsume won't let anything happen to you."

She stared at me with wide eyes and then let out a soft meow. "She said to be careful." Tsume muttered, brushing past me to jump across.

I didn't turn around to watch him jump, my gaze focused on the spot in the trees where I knew Sasha would be appearing soon. After a moment, I did turn, glancing over at the others waiting for me on the other side.

Tsume was still holding Snow, no longer meeting my eyes. Hige was obviously still jolted from his traumatic battle with his own mind just to jump over the creek, but he was calling his own words of encouragement, trying to get me to cross quickly. Kiba and Cheza were both watching me carefully, and while Kiba's eyes were narrowed in suspicion, I saw the resigned look in Cheza's red ones. She knew what I was doing.

I blinked over at them warmly, my tail cutting through the air against my will. I had no qualms about it, however, because it seemed a fitting final gesture for what I was about to do.

"I'm sorry." I said sincerely.

And when Sasha burst through the trees, just where I knew she would, I took off running.

I heard Hige's howl as I tore off down the bank, leading Sasha away from the others. She must have known that I was the boy she was looking for and probably didn't care about the others. But Quent and the officers would, and if Sasha was following me, they would follow her, missing the others completely.

Sasha was fast, I had to give her that, but I was faster. Dodging trees this way and that, I was partly terrified that I'd slam into one and hurt myself, although some part of me knew I wouldn't.

I made sure to keep the swollen river in my sights, searching for the spot where I'd been attacked only a few days ago. The river was sure to be calmer downstream, where the land was higher up, and if I could wade across before Sasha caught up and mask my scent in the mud, I could slip into the trees and meet up with the others. I could only hope that they wouldn't be too angry with me when I saw them next.

When I reached the spot where I'd found Snow, I slid down the muddied bank and into the water, the splash louder than I'd hoped. It was higher than it had been before, but nothing I couldn't handle.

I dropped down in the mud and rolled onto my back once I reached the other side, squirming around to cover my russet-colored fur in the cool, sticky substance. I wasn't especially happy about it, but if it would save us, I was ready to do it.

When I was satisfied with my work, I got to my paws, resisting the urge to shake out my fur, and started to bound up the bank.

That was when I heard the click.

* * *

><p>Kiba couldn't remember a time when he'd run so fast. Even when Darcia had taken Cheza for the first time, he hadn't run this quickly, so quickly that his surroundings blurred and all he could hear was the pounding of his own paws against the ground.<p>

But when the gunshot echoed throughout the forest, everything he knew about himself changed.

He wasn't alone in his running, but he was way ahead of the others. His vision was tunneled, he felt light-headed, could hardly feel his paws, but that didn't matter. Something had been shot. There had been a cry. And even if he didn't want to admit it, he'd recognized it.

Flashes of moments long ago kept invading his thoughts, emotions coursing through Kiba that he didn't welcome. This wasn't possible, nor was it fair. Why hadn't Toboe jumped? Why had he run away? How stupid could he have possibly been?

Kiba heard the barking of Sasha, her cry that only he could understand in plain words. "I found him!" Her howl shook him to his core, for even if the shot hadn't been for Toboe, he was still in Sasha's clutches.

_Why is this happening?_

And when he reached the bank where the black wolf had attacked Toboe, Kiba found that he had no faith in justice anymore.

Sasha was gone, probably off to find Quent and bring him back to show him her prize. But that wasn't the white wolf's main concern. That body lying in the mud was all he cared about.

Motionless, bloody, covered in mud from head to tail. Never had Kiba seen anything so confusing. Even as he stood frozen on the bank, he couldn't make a move to investigate. No, what was the point? It wasn't like it was Toboe. It couldn't have been. It didn't make sense, it wasn't logical. He saw red. _One, two –_

"Oh, God." A voice was speaking behind him. "Oh, no. Oh, God."

A flash of gray shot past Kiba as Tsume slid down the embankment towards Toboe's motionless form, but he hadn't been the one to speak. It was most likely Hige who was talking. The sound of the gunshot had wounded him more than anyone, and it was a miracle he was still stable enough to speak coherently.

"You _dogs_!" A ferocious snarl filled with heartbroken rage was heard. Kiba had been around Snow enough in the past couple days to know the sound of her voice, fierce and feminine. Fragile, despite her harsh tongue. "Look what you – Toboe's not dead, he _isn't_! Quit your howling, you mangy fleabag, he's _fine_."

Tsume stood over Toboe's body, leaning over slowly to sniff at him, trying to confirm what Kiba's mind was refusing to accept. _One, two –_

"He's alive." Kiba heard Tsume say. "Or, he _has _to be – but – "

Kiba looked to the sky, the heat of the sun drying the mud on his paws. He barely contained a growl of rage. What kind of life was this? Hige was unstable, he could hardly control his own emotions, and Toboe was - _One, two –_

No. He was done with that. Counting didn't help, and what was the point? There was nothing any of them could do to rewrite their pasts, fix their problems, and move on with their lives. There would always be something that worked against them.

Toboe looked to be dead, legs splayed out and stiff, eyes closed. Either he was a stupendous actor or the worst possible scenario had played out.

"Tsume." Kiba hardly recognized the sound of his own voice. "Get back here. We have to go." Tsume looked up at him, yellow eyes blazing with loss and an unspoken accusation. "There's nothing we can do." Kiba continued, turning to face Hige and Snow.

The light-brown wolf was shaking erratically, obviously trying very hard to not succumb to his memories. Kiba knew how familiar this situation was, and they were all handling it in almost the exact same way as they had before. And that sickened him.

Snow hissed, back arched as she glared up at Kiba with hard, blue eyes. "I'm not leaving him." She spat, a challenge evident in her stare. But Kiba could see how rattled she was. This cat had Toboe to thank for everything. He'd saved her from the life of a stray, loved her when no one else would. "I'll kill anyone that tries to make me."

Kiba could only imagine how icy his stare was. "Toboe wouldn't want you to do this."

And with that, he picked her up by the fur on her neck, uncaring when she started to spit and claw, catching his chest and cheek with her razor sharp claws. "Tsume." He said again. "We're leaving. We have to get Cheza."

And Tsume came. Not because he wanted to, but because Kiba was exhibiting his leadership for the first time in years, and he couldn't go against his pack leader.

This was what Kiba hated about being the alpha, the power he had over everyone else. But he'd just learned that he held no power when it came to protecting them.

Toboe was gone, dead, and he had done nothing to prevent it. Kiba couldn't guarantee that Hige wouldn't die next, or Tsume, or Cheza, who was currently waiting for them to come back, deeper within the trees. Even Snow, who was so small and weak in his jaws, her sorrow at losing her master almost palpable, could die in a heartbeat. All he could do for now was lead them away before they all were killed.

And so he led them away, just as a leader should. Dante and Joshua would've been proud. But as they ran further and further away from the one thing they'd spent so long trying to find, all Kiba could think was that he'd told Toboe he would never leave him, no matter what.

* * *

><p><em>A.N.<em> Don't hold back if you want to rage, and I apologize for this massive cliffhanger. I'll try to update soon so I don't leave you guys in the dark for too long. Thank you to all who have stuck through this with me. I haven't been very kind to you guys as of late with all this sadness, have I?


	19. Animal I Have Become

_**Chapter 18: Animal I Have Become**_

* * *

><p>Airi couldn't really remember a time when she had been truly frightened.<p>

She could recall moments from her childhood, back when her father was still around, when he and her mother would get in screaming matches on the nights he came home drunk.

Hiro would hold her in his arms, trying to stop her tears as Kato kept his back pressed against the door in the room they'd locked themselves in, heart pounding rapidly in his chest.

That was before Toboe was born, when the three Asher siblings were closer than anybody they knew. Airi couldn't bring herself to miss those moments, simply because of the fact that her father had been there. But even then she hadn't been frightened. Sad and jolted, maybe, but not frightened.

When she'd seen Dante transform for the first time, she hadn't been afraid. Curiosity and wonder had overcome her, sure, but the fact that he had _changed species _hadn't exactly bothered her. She couldn't say why exactly, but it didn't really matter. As long as you didn't fuck with her or her family, you were okay in Airi's book.

When Toboe had gone missing, she wasn't frightened. If anything, she'd been worried, angry, and confused, because the fact that her little brother had run away from home didn't make sense to her.

She'd finally decided on what had happened. She and Hiro were the only ones that seemed willing to believe that Toboe had flown the coop. Whether he was going to come back or not, she didn't know, but for Toboe's sake, she hoped he was okay.

It had only been two days since his phone call, so Airi was fairly certain the kid was still alive. Their mother had gone to the police and Officer Katoba had the call tracked, and it had all spiraled out of control from that point on. The phone from which the call had been placed had been destroyed, or so the specialists said, but the police had managed to locate the nearest tower from where the call had been placed.

It had come from a town far north of Fairfield called Solerno, and the police had called the force up there to keep a look out for Toboe and his supposed captors. So far, they hadn't found a thing.

Airi wasn't sure if she was happy about that or not. She missed Toboe, sure, but now that she was certain her brother had left on purpose, she didn't think forcing him to come home was the best approach. Her life had changed a lot in the time he'd been gone, in both good and bad ways, and her feelings on the situation were confusing at best.

Airi wasn't the easiest girl to scare, nor was she gullible and softhearted. But when she went in to work that day, everything she'd previously thought to be true about herself and her family changed.

She arrived at eight-thirty just like she always did, clocked in, and changed into her white sweater and faded, acid-washed jeans and sneakers. She took the adolescent wolves out into the courtyard for their daily exercise, checked on Daisy and her newborn pups, and then spent the remainder of the morning hanging out with Jade.

The white wolf that had first led her into this strange world was a lot like her human friend Olivia. She was bubbly, annoying, and never knew when to shut her mouth, but Airi found that she enjoyed the girl's company.

When she was human, Jade had bleach-blonde hair, almost white just like her fur was as a wolf, and that made her bright green eyes stand out all the more. Airi found the girl's appearance exotic, intriguing, and she knew Jade would say the same about her.

The green-eyed wolf had a fascination with humans that no one really understood. She enjoyed being a human more than the others wolves at the WRA did, but she still had problems controlling when she shifted. She was only twelve in human years, but Airi never tried to censor herself when she was around her. Jade was far more mature than Airi had been at her age.

Airi had been out in the courtyard with Jade and Dante when the man wearing the white jumpsuit came outside. After exchanging a few brief, hushed words with Dante, Airi's employer had ushered her and Jade inside, practically shoved them in his office, and warned them not to come out before leaving them alone.

But before he'd closed the door, locking it behind him, Airi had caught the man in the white jumpsuit saying something to Dante. He had said Toboe's name.

So, there Airi was, locked in Dante's office with a twelve-year-old wolf girl, practically beside herself with worry and anger.

"What does Toboe have to do with anything going on around the WRA?" She ranted, pacing back and forth across the floor while Jade watched with observant, emerald eyes. "Why is Dante being so secretive about this? Why the hell am I locked in here with _you_?"

"I'm not all bad." Jade said earnestly, sitting on her hands and swinging her feet in the air carelessly from where she was perched on Dante's desk. Airi was well aware that Dante would have a fit if he came back to find the girl sitting on his papers, but she was too pissed off to care. "And I'm sure everything's fine. Mr. Connolly never lets anything bad happen."

Airi snorted. The wolves in residence here, the girls especially, all had a respect for Dante that she didn't understand. She had known immediately that most of them had crushes on the eighteen-year-old, but it was rare to hear a single wolf or person around here call him by his first name, aside from her, his mother, and a few of the older, sharper wolves.

Dante wasn't overly friendly, hardly ever smiled, and was so strict and business-like all the time that it was hard to believe he was a teenager like her brothers. But she had to admit that he was kind to the wolves here, patient when it came to the more difficult ones. Maybe the respect was deserved.

"Yeah, well, Dante's a kid just like us. I highly doubt he can keep all bad things from happening."

Jade laughed, reaching up to scratch behind her ear with one of her hands. Even as a human she exhibited animalistic behaviors. "You're very pessimistic, you know that?"

"Well, you're optimistic, and it's annoying."

"That's why we're such great friends! You're the yin to my yang."

Airi groaned, falling back heavily to sit on the couch, the cold of the leather seeping into her back. "What could they possibly be talking about that they had to lock us in here? Why couldn't we just stay in the courtyard?"

"Oh, that never happens when they have meetings." Jade said with a slight shake of her head. "All the wolves are locked up so as to avoid panic and confusion if they're discussing something important about us."

"I'm not a wolf, so why am I being locked up like some wild animal?" Airi muttered, then realized how insensitive that sounded. She almost released an agitated groan at the thought. Since when was she so considerate of other people's feelings?

Jade didn't seem bothered, though. She tipped her head, regarding the blue-eyed girl thoughtfully. "You sure do act like one sometimes, Airi." She laughed at the sour expression on Airi's face before continuing. "Anyway, there's nothing to worry about. I'm sure they're talking about Dante's brother again."

Now she was interested. She knew absolutely nothing about Dante's brother. He was hardly ever brought up, and everyone's unwillingness to talk about him only succeeded in sparking Airi's interest. "Why would they be talking about him?"

"'Cause he's cute and awesome." Jade said enthusiastically, emerald eyes shining. "He hasn't been around here much lately, but everybody still talks about him. You wanna know a secret?" The light-haired girl looked around cautiously as Airi nodded, as if looking around for someone who could hear them talking. "Dante's brother is the reincarnated Wolf of Legend, Fang."

Liv had explained that whole legend to Airi a few weeks back. Apparently a quintet of wolves had set off to try and save the world along with some mystical flower girl back in the… original world.

Airi couldn't really remember all the details, but while they'd defeated the Darcia guy, they hadn't been able to stop the world from ending. But Airi had been under the impression that the legend was nothing but wolf folklore. She had learned to question nothing behind these walls, though. Everything was already so confusing and surreal to begin with.

"Seriously?" Airi said, unable to keep the doubt out of her voice. "Is his name really Fang, too?"

Jade giggled, shaking her head. "Of course not. But I don't think Mr. Connolly would want me to tell you the truth."

Airi's eyes narrowed. She'd come to view Dante as a friend of some sorts, but even that term was said loosely. She would even go as far to admit that she trusted him, just a little. But had he been keeping something from her this whole time? He'd seemed pretty upfront about everything that was going on. What else was there to hide? "I don't think you want to find out what'll happen if you don't tell me."

The twelve-year-old was hardly fazed. "Okay, fine, I'll tell you. His name's Kiba, but the direct translation does work out to be Fang."

Airi felt her eyes widen, though she couldn't say she was all that surprised. Kiba, the silent boy that she had seen with her brother so many times before they'd run off, was Dante's brother? Now she finally understood why she'd thought Dante looked familiar the first time she'd seen him.

"Jade… how much do you know about what's going on outside these walls?"

Jade turned to look at her, curious. "Like what?"

"Like, where Kiba is now?"

"I haven't seen him in a really long time. He left the WRA before I was born, but he comes around every few months or so. He never stays very long."

As Airi sat there and listened to Jade gush about every little thing Kiba did that she found adorable, she realized just how sheltered these wolves really were. They had no idea that Dante's brother had blown out of town with her youngest brother. But why? Why were these wolves so terribly misinformed?

"Airi, do you like Mr. Connolly?"

The blue-eyed girl turned her attention to the small girl in front of her, eyebrows raised. "Excuse me?"

Jade giggled. "Do you like Mr. Connolly?"

"He signs my paycheck."

"No, I mean _like _like him."

Her nose wrinkled with distaste. "Oh, God no. Have you met the guy?"

"You smell weird when you're around him, though."

Airi couldn't keep her face neutral. She _smelled _weird when she was around Dante? What the hell did that even mean? Wolves had sensitive senses though, so she couldn't accuse the girl of lying or being ignorant.

"And how exactly do I smell?" She drawled, curious as to what kind of answer the girl would give her.

Jade's eyes sparkled with mischief. "Like a female wolf in heat."

Airi blanched, unable to keep the blush from rising on her cheeks. Whether it was from embarrassment or rage she wasn't quite certain. "You're delusional."

"Actually I have an IQ of one-hundred and forty." Airi's fingers twitched as she struggled to keep herself from strangling the twelve-year-old. "So, my word is pretty credible." She tilted her head slightly, eyes shifting towards the door. "And don't worry. Mr. Connolly smells the same way whenever you're here."

Before Airi could comment, the door opened and the wolf in question entered the room. Airi observed Dante critically, and there was something present in his eyes that wasn't normally there, a wary type of look that she often saw on her mother. Her stomach tightened.

Dante practically ignored her though, staring sternly over at Jade. "Why are you sitting on my desk?"

"It was comfortable." She said simply, sliding off the piece of furniture. "And Airi took the whole couch."

Airi snorted, rolling her eyes. "I did not."

"Go to your room, Jade." Dante said, placing a hand on the girl's shoulder and gently ushering her toward the door. "I have to talk with Miss Asher."

Jade nodded obediently, offering Airi a discreet wink before exiting the room. Airi clenched her jaw and looked away, slowly raising her arm to sniff at her skin. She didn't smell any different than any other day. There was just a noticeable absence of cigarette smoke. Dante hated it when she smoked.

"Can I ask what it is that you're doing?" Dante asked her, watching her with sharp brown eyes.

She lowered her arm, glaring up at Dante through her bangs. "You don't answer any of my questions. Why should I answer yours?"

The older man sighed, leaning back against his desk. "What questions do you have that I haven't answered?"

"What was that whole meeting about just now? Why did that guy say Toboe's name?" She demanded, pushing herself to her feet to be at eye level with Dante. He was still a good deal taller than her, but Airi could appear taller when she wanted to look intimidating.

"Sit down, Airi." Dante said eventually. Airi didn't like the tone of his voice.

"No." She snapped, fists clenching at her sides. "Tell me what's going on."

He looked like he wanted to roll his eyes in frustration, but Dante never displayed his emotions in such manners. He was guarded, and she always had trouble determining what he was thinking. But she did notice the hesitance with which he was regarding her. It jilted her, because Dante never hesitated. It was one of the things she respected about him.

"Airi," he began, eyes shifting to his high school diploma hanging proudly on the wall, "your brother's disappearance is more complicated than you were led to believe."

Airi felt her eyes narrow. "You knew something about it this entire time?" She couldn't keep the anger out of her voice. "Why didn't you tell me? What else don't I know? Aside from the fact that Kiba's your brother, of course. Were you ever going to tell me he was involved with Toboe's disappearance?"

She saw the subtle tightening of Dante's jaw as he forced his gaze back to her. "My _brother_," he said icily, "has nothing to do with this. Kiba left and Toboe went with him, yes, but that was your brother's choice."

"You're defending him?" Airi snorted. "I thought you two weren't close? I don't care if he didn't persuade Toboe to go with him, he still didn't try to convince him to stay. He has a family, you know! His not being here is _killing _my mom and brothers!"

"Honestly, Airi, what Toboe is doing with Kiba and the others is far more important than keeping your mother and brothers happy."

A loud crack filled the room, and Dante stood there, unmoving, as Airi seethed angrily in front of him, an angry, red mark slowly beginning to appear on his right cheek.

"_Don't _talk about my family." She hissed. "You have no idea what this feels like."

"What, to lose a family member?" Dante retorted. "In case you've forgotten, Kiba's gone as well. My mother feels the full force of his absence."

"Why would you care? I thought you didn't like your brother?"

"I don't." He said evenly, sliding away from the desk so as to distance himself from the seething sixteen-year-old in front of him. "I did, once, but that was a long time ago."

"You're a bastard." Airi snapped, eyeing the paperweight on Dante's desk that looked oh so appealing. She itched to pick it up and hurl it at the wall, but that would get her nowhere.

"He used to be fun before we learned the truth of who he really was." He continued on as if she hadn't spoken. "We looked out for each other, and I made sure to keep his anger in check. But then he told our parents about his past and everything fell apart."

Airi turned to face him. "You learned he was the reincarnation of Fang?"

"So, Jade went on one of her Kiba rants, did she?" Dante said irritably, shifting the blinds on his window slightly to look out into the hall. "Yes, that's what happened. After that, our relationship changed, and he became the favorite."

"What, you were jealous?"

"I don't expect you to understand." He said tersely, a small growl sounding from the back of his throat. That one small slip in his composure told Airi that this topic was a highly sensitive one. And for some reason, she shied away from it.

"Toboe." She said firmly. "What about his disappearance? What don't I know?"

"Your brother is a special kid, someone we've been searching for for quite some time." Dante dove straight into the facts. "My brother is the reincarnation of Fang, yes. With him are the other three wolves, Tsume, who is Claw, Hige who is Whiskers, and Toboe. Your brother is Howling, the youngest wolf from the legend. They've set off to determine why the world is dying yet again. Toboe knows his destiny and is off fighting for our futures. It would probably be in your best interest to let the pain of his disappearance go, because he is not returning until they've completed their task."

A few things ran through Airi's head, one of which being that Dante was a heartless bastard.

Her brother Toboe – sweet, unsuspecting little Toboe – was a wolf? She couldn't really wrap her mind around it. She'd seen these wolves, been around them enough to know how they acted, and Toboe wasn't like any of them. He never had random moments of bizarre anger and certainly didn't have animalistic tendencies. He was timid and fragile, afraid of anything and everything.

And he was supposed to be Howling, the wolf that she'd been told was brave and loyal, despite his young age and small stature? Her brother had _died _saving an old guy who had despised wolves with everything he had?

Airi raised a shaking hand to her face, her fingertips ghosting over her forehead hesitantly. She didn't have a fever. She wasn't imagining this. "The world's ending?" She squeaked out eventually.

A flash of sympathy actually crossed Dante's face for a split second before it disappeared. "That is what we believe. In the wake of apocalypse, the world is said to tremble and rage. Nature runs its course with much more chaos than normal. Surely you've noticed how winter comes sooner and sooner every year. The first time the world ended, it froze over. In a few years time, winter will be year round, and eventually, everything will be killed off in the freeze.

"The head of the WRA, my father, sent my brother and the others out to put a stop to the apocalypse. Toboe wasn't aware of it at the time. He was born with no knowledge of his past life, so don't think he's been lying to you all this time."

The news left a bad taste in Airi's mouth, because although she'd already come to terms with it, the pain at knowing that Toboe had left not because of his destiny, but because of them, was hard to swallow. "So, my baby brother's out saving the world?" She laughed, though it didn't sound authentic. "Does my family get benefits from this?"

Dante didn't smile. "The police spotted them in Solerno this afternoon."

She froze, her heart pounding in her throat. Despite what she'd been told, Airi couldn't help but hope that Toboe was coming home now that the police had caught up with him. But what about the world? Would they all die if someone forced him back to Fairfield? "Did they capture them?"

"No." Airi released a sigh of relief, but Dante wasn't finished. "According to our sources on the scene, Toboe was a wolf when the police showed up. They all ran off into the woods, but… Airi, there's a pack of wild wolves that live in Solerno, and they've been killing pets and people for a few years now. The officials there are told to shoot on sight. The police from Solerno ran into the woods after them because they recognized Kiba, and Sasha, Quent Yaiden's dog, picked up on Toboe's scent. They were all out in the woods and confusion began to set in… Airi, shots were bound to be fired."

And Airi frowned, because there was no way Dante was saying what she thought he was saying. "So, who got shot? One of those idiot police? The dog?"

He said nothing, only stared at her with a forlorn look that made her stomach sink. He wouldn't speak, because he knew she understood what had happened. Shots had been fired. Someone had been shot.

"Toboe." She whispered, a peculiar heat beginning to build behind her eyes.

"They thought he was a wolf from the resident Solerno pack." Dante said slowly, moving away from the door and closer to her with all the caution and grace of a wolf. "They don't know what they've done, but one of our men works as a police officer down there. He arrived too late to stop them. He called my father, and that's what we were discussing."

Discussing. It had just been a casual conversation. Toboe had been murdered and they didn't even give a damn. He was gone. Dead.

Airi didn't know how she ended up on her knees, arms curled around her stomach like she was going to throw up. "Toboe." She said, her voice pinched. "He's not – He can't be – "

But he was, and Airi didn't know what to do. She made an odd choking sound, eyes squeezing shut as she tried to fight back her tears. There was no way she was letting go. Not here in front of Dante of all people.

Toboe was gone. That little kid that used to cling to her hand when they went out in public, the one who ran to her room during a thunderstorm, the brother with the bright eyes and optimistic smile.

She remembered the day Toboe was born, how Hiro had lifted her up so she could get a better look at the tiny, wailing child in the incubator. She'd only been a year old, but she still remembered to some degree. She'd thought him strange, that tiny, red-faced baby that didn't look a thing like her or her brothers and mother.

But she hadn't really cared back then. She'd never cared, contrary to what Toboe had believed. He was theirs. He was the younger brother she'd adored. And now he was gone. Not missing, not on the run.

Gone.

She felt hands on her shoulders, and when she finally managed to lift her head, she could hardly see anything through the haze that was staking claim to her eyes. But she did see brown eyes flecked with yellow.

"It's okay to cry, you know." Dante said, offering her a weak half smile that she found strangely adorable.

And because Dante had said it was okay, she did cry.

For the first time in who knows how long, Airi cried, and she didn't really care. All she could really process was how _good _it felt, but even that release was short-lived and minuscule compared to the raging storm within her.

She clung to Dante, fingers turning white with the force. She knew this was something she would regret later, but for the life of her, she just couldn't stop. Dante was holding her just as tightly as she was holding him, whispering soft words of comfort into her ear.

Just the fact that he was trying to make her feel better made Airi's sobs louder. She didn't know how long they sat there, hours, days, it didn't really matter. But eventually she calmed down, her anguished sobs dissolving into soft hiccups and sniffles.

Dante pulled away from her slightly, a question in his brown eyes. "Are you alright now?"

Airi laughed, a few small squeaks clenched tight with loss. She sounded insane. "Am I alright? My baby brother is dead, Dante. I'll never be alright ever again."

"I didn't know you cared about him this much." He said, gripping her elbows lightly and tugging her to her feet, guiding her over to the couch.

She sat down with a groan, burying her face in her knees. What was she going to tell her mother? Her brothers? She couldn't very well tell them that Toboe had died without going into all the details, tell them about his past life, but she couldn't _not _tell them. She couldn't go home so broken without offering an explanation.

Airi could tell that Dante was still standing over her, and she felt the weight of his gaze. Something told her that he had more to say. "What is it?" She demanded, her voice trembling. "What else is there?"

"I don't know if you're ready."

"Oh, shut up!" She snapped, clutching her hands tightly to her chest as a particularly violent hiccup sent a pain through her heart. "What could you possibly have to say that's worse than this?"

"You're a wolf, too."

Airi froze, eyes widening as she stared down at the blue carpet beneath her feet. She kept her head between her knees for fear that she would start to hyperventilate.

"It's why you and Toboe were the closest out of the four of you." Dante's voice said again, hesitant but strong. "You identified with each other. Even if you didn't know it, you were both the same. You were probably an alpha female before. It's why you protect, it's why you can't allow yourself to be weak. I understand. I'm just like you in that department. We thought you were Blue at first, the wolf dog, but now we know you aren't. But that's okay, Airi. You're stronger than they are. You didn't have to save the world to be somebody like Kiba, or like Toboe."

For a moment, she didn't say anything. But then slowly, hesitantly, she lifted her head to fix Dante with a teary, ice blue stare. "How do you know?"

He started at her incredulously, as if her question was a shot at his intelligence. "I've spent enough time around you, Asher. I know a wolf when I see one."

She frowned, shifting her gaze to the ground as she rubbed tears away with the heel of her palm. She was a wolf? At this point she didn't really care, though she knew that would probably change once things started to settle down.

She sniffed, looking up at him through her lashes. "So, I was an alpha, huh?"

Dante actually looked a little relieved. "That's what we think. You exhibit the same tendencies as I did when I was your age."

"When you were my age? You're only two years older than I am."

"Yes, and you'll never let me forget it."

"How do you know I'm a Reborn, though?" Airi asked, her fingers curling into her sweater when her stomach heaved. She was going to be ill.

"Because you weren't born as a wolf." Dante explained. "Like Toboe, you were born human and therefore have no memories of your past. If you were normal, like me, then you would've been born as a wolf, not a human. That's not how nature works."

Airi snorted, more tears spilling down her cheeks at the mention of her late brother's name. "So, Toboe and I were freaks of nature?"

"No, Airi." Dante said gently, sitting down beside her on the couch, sitting far enough away that they weren't touching, but close enough that she could feel his body heat. "You were both apart of an ancient world that everyone here holds in high regard. They respect everyone for living before and coping with the affects of being reborn. You're not a freak, you're a hero in their eyes."

"What do you think I am?" She asked hollowly, not really caring what his answer was.

There was nothing special about being a wolf. She couldn't even turn into one, so what was the point? And if she was a Reborn, would she start developing symptoms like the wolves here had? Would she recall her past and remember every sad thing that had ever happened to her, how she'd died? She stifled a moan, because she didn't need anything else to worry about. One shitty life was bad enough.

Airi jumped slightly when Dante reached out, wiping away a tear that had stilled in its journey down her cheek. "I think you're a sixteen-year-old girl that has trouble expressing what she wants to others and herself."

"I don't want to be a wolf." She whispered, suddenly terrified.

Dante chuckled, retracting his hand. "I wish I could help you with that, Airi."

Her phone hummed in her pocket just then, and Olivia's name was displayed on the screen when she pulled it out. Dante got to his feet and moved toward his desk while she answered it. "Hello?"

"Airi!" Olivia's voice was shrill in her ear. "Guess what, sis? _I'm ungrounded! _We need to hang out ASAP!"

Airi's trembling lips pulled into a slight smile, because hanging out with Olivia sounded so damn good right then. "Do you think your parents will let me spend the night tonight? I am a juvenile delinquent, after all."

"Oh, _whatever_." Olivia scoffed. "They think the world of you." It was true. Olivia's parents always welcomed her into their home, no matter what she did. "Get your beautiful butt over here as soon as you can. I have so much I have to tell you!"

"Yeah." Airi breathed. "Me too."

With the plans set, Airi hung up, glancing over at Dante uncertainly. He looked amused. "I'm giving you the day off, Asher." He said, sitting down heavily in his over-sized, black leather chair. "Go do whatever it is teenaged human girls do."

And for the first time ever, Airi felt grateful. As she got up without a word, moving towards the door, Dante reached out and snagged her wrist.

"Airi," he said, serious once more. "You're not alone in this. We'll help you."

But she felt alone. With Toboe dead, she was the only wolf in the family.

And despite her past life, whatever Dante believed it had been, she wasn't ready for that kind of responsibility.

* * *

><p>Hige had never minded silence. It gave him time to think, sure, but that wasn't exactly a good thing in his case.<p>

But when nothing was going on, he felt more at peace. The silence was calming, a welcome change to the chaotic mess he called his life.

But now, the silence was overwhelming.

Alone in the trees, he was having a hard time keeping his composure. Every few moments, he would tense, mind revolting as the shot that had sounded only a few hours ago rang throughout his ears.

Even now, he was crouched on the forest floor, claws tearing at the ground as he struggled to stay calm. Tsume was pressed against his side, a comforting presence although it did little to help. That small part of his brain yearned for Kiba, but he wouldn't allow himself to act on it. Not now, when the loss of Toboe was still fresh in all their minds.

Hige flinched, barely containing an agonized groan as he thought about what had happened earlier in the day. Every time he closed his eyes, whether it was from exhaustion or an attempt to block out everything, he saw Toboe's body lying lifeless in the mud.

It had taken everything within him not to turn and bolt from the scene, certain that the shooter was still around, but leaving the young wolf was something he hadn't been willing to do, at least not until Kiba had made them.

He glanced across the clearing, observing the white wolf through lidded eyes. Kiba was further up the slope, sitting at the top of the hill, silently looking on as the moon started to rise above them. Every so often, his ear would twitch, and Hige couldn't help but wonder what it was he was doing. He'd been staring in the direction they'd come for over two hours now. Sooner or later, Hige knew they would have to keep going.

Cheza made a soft noise from her perch on a large boulder, leaning back on her hands with her eyes closed as she soaked in the rays of the rising moon. Hige yearned for the peace that overcame him when the Flower Maiden was near, pressed against him just like Tsume was now, but he stubbornly resisted her help when she'd offered it earlier.

He was determined to overcome this himself. But even with that being said, it didn't feel right slipping into a blissfully ignorant state when Toboe was –

"I knew you three were trouble from the moment I saw you." Hige shifted so he could drape his left foreleg over his muzzle, covering his eyes as Snow began to speak. She'd been oddly silent ever since they'd left the creek bed, but he had known it wouldn't last. She was an odd sight in these woods, a small white shadow among the huge wolves she was surrounded by. Her bright blue eyes were dull with grief, and she sat hunched over on the ground, tail wrapped around her body. She stared listlessly at the forest floor. "Toboe had no idea what he was getting into."

"Are you saying he was better off in Fairfield with those devil siblings of his?" Tsume challenged, a deep growl passing through his jaws. Hige was tempted to shift away, not wanting the extra stimulation, but he didn't have the energy to move.

"At least he'd still be alive." Snow spat, shifting her gaze to them for a split second before looking away again. Hige didn't have to look at her to know that hatred was present in her eyes, but he wasn't particularly bothered. The feline was a prickly thing, and it had been this way ever since Toboe had found her half alive by the creek. "I can't say he was happier back home, but I know he would've been safer. I should've done something to make him stay."

"What could you have done?" Tsume said in annoyance, and Hige pressed closer to him. He could hear the grief in his friend's voice, not that Tsume was trying to hide it. He was better at expressing his emotions, something Hige had taken a long time to get used to, but he knew that the gray wolf wasn't going to completely let go until he was alone. Some things never changed, no matter how many lifetimes passed. "You're no bigger than a newborn human baby."

Snow said nothing for a moment, and Hige moved his leg to look at her closely. She _never_ had nothing to say. The white cat was staring up at the moon, an odd look in her blue eyes.

"I knew he was a wolf all along." She said eventually, one ear twitching. "He used to stay up on the night of the full moon, and on those nights, he always smelled like a wolf. I'd smelled some around town, so I could make the comparison. But I never loved him any less. He was just… Toboe."

"Then why did you freak out when he transformed for the first time?" Hige asked, voice hoarse and grating.

"Don't tell me his screams didn't freak you out, too." She said irritably, whiskers quivering. " I just didn't know how to react. I'd known, sure, but it was different actually _seeing_ him as a wolf. He wasn't the human he'd always been. I just wish I could've spoken to him directly before he – "

Her voice cracked, and she hissed in frustration, turning her head away from them and falling silent, curling further into herself. Hige watched sadly, because even though he, Kiba, Tsume, and Cheza had a past with Toboe, Snow had been his greatest companion in this life.

But now that he was gone, where was she going to go? Hige had never particularly liked cats, and her tongue had already made her unpopular with Tsume. Kiba probably felt the same, but he'd never voiced his opinions on the feline, at least not to Hige. He felt hollow at the thought. They used to tell each other everything.

"We never should've left him." Tsume said lowly, golden eyes hard in the dim moonlight. "We should've stayed."

"Why? He was dead." Hige never thought much about what he said in his stupors. Even now, he didn't care much to censor himself. What was the point? They all knew the truth.

"Because we didn't before." Tsume said, which wasn't the truth.

The gray wolf had stayed, Hige remembered. While he, Kiba, and Blue went after Cheza and Darcia, Tsume had stayed behind with Toboe's body. What he'd done was unknown to him, but Hige remembered how close the two had once been.

He often wondered what Tsume had thought about this world's Toboe, if he missed the relationship they'd once had. Hige remembered how awful he and Tsume had been to Toboe.

He flinched, whining a little when a memory coursed through him, when he'd punched Toboe for suggesting that Blue had been dead. Even without Kiba's help, Hige knew it had really happened. The guilt he felt then was too authentic to be conjured up.

"We shouldn't have left him for the humans. Kiba could've – " Tsume forced himself to stop talking, heaving a giant, exhausted sigh.

Hige glanced over in Kiba's direction, but the white wolf made no indication that he'd heard their conversation. "He feels terrible." Hige said softly, because he knew that much.

"It's like he's waiting for him to come up the hill." Tsume said quietly, and Hige could see why he thought so. His silent vigil had been going on for so long now. He had to be waiting for something.

Looking on as his friend sat alone at the top of the slope, something clicked within Hige, and a part of the haze he'd been in for the past couple hours disappeared. Startling Tsume a bit, he pushed himself to his paws, legs trembling slightly.

"Hige, what are you doing?" Tsume asked, and Snow's ear twitched, but she didn't move to see what was going on. She was probably lost in her memories as well.

"I'm going to talk to him." He said shakily, holding his head high as he walked toward Kiba, proud of himself for forcing his legs to remain strong and steady.

Kiba didn't move as Hige sat down beside him, and for a moment the two wolves said nothing. Hige observed the forest below, the hundreds of lush, green trees and the darkening sky above them. Solerno's buildings could be seen from their vantage point, though they looked so small from that distance. Hige's paws still ached from the walk up here, but he refused to dwell on it.

"Should you really be moving around?" Kiba asked eventually, not talking his eyes off the forest below them. "I know the PD is starting to take over your limbs by now."

Hige huffed, but didn't deny it. Of course the Parkinson's was rearing its ugly head. It always did when he least wanted it around. He hated looking like a twitching fool when it overtook him, but it couldn't be helped. Fortunately, he was around those who understood that.

"I'm fine." He said, because compared to their fallen friend, he was. "It's nothing I can't handle."

Kiba made a small noise of acknowledgement, tilting his head up slightly as a cool breeze descended on them, ruffling their fur. The sound of screeching bats sounded overhead, making Hige's ear twitch in irritation at the high frequency.

"Damn creatures." He heard Snow mutter from behind them.

"I'm sorry for before." Kiba said suddenly, startling his companion. "I shouldn't have lost my temper."

"It's my fault." Hige said in reply, swallowing thickly, eyes burning with nonexistent tears. "I shouldn't have let Toboe call his mom. If it weren't for me, he'd still be ali – "

"Don't." Kiba cut him off sharply, eyes flashing in the darkness. "It's no ones fault but my own. It's my job to protect all of you, and I failed."

"See, you do this shit, and it pisses me off." Hige growled, even though his instincts were screaming at him to stop. "Just because you're the alpha doesn't mean you have to do everything alone. We can make your job a million times easier."

"I'm not going to argue with you." Kiba said, and Hige felt guilty when he heard how weary his voice sounded. "We're heading out at midnight."

"Why? What are we going to do?"

"Head back to Solerno and get the car. After that," he paused, heaving a sigh, "I don't really know where we'll go. I haven't the slightest clue what we should do, if we inform the WRA about what happened or just continue on our own."

Hige growled again, eyes narrowing dangerously. "They don't own Toboe. They have no right to grieve over him. They probably wouldn't anyway. He'll just be a lost science experiment to them."

"Not all of them think that." Kiba said. "Liv thinks all of the wolves are her children."

_Except for me. _He refrained from saying it aloud, but he knew Kiba could tell he was thinking it. It was true, after all. Kiba's mom had viewed him dangerous since the day he'd been rescued. She was right, of course, but her saying it so openly was damaging to Hige, and he knew it was one of the reasons why Kiba wasn't close with his mother, or either of his parents, really.

Hige's leg twitched. He was always causing problems for others.

Kiba noticed his body jolting. "Hige, just let Cheza sing to you." He almost sounded like he was pleading, finally taking his gaze away from the trees below to fix Hige with a piercing stare.

He shook his head stubbornly, forcing his body to go rigid to keep it from twitching. "I can't. Even if I wanted to, it'll just bring back memories. I don't want that right now."

With a sigh, Kiba relented. "Will you lie down at least?"

Hige nodded stiffly, slowly sliding down to stretch out on the cool grass beneath them. Kiba lay down next to him, pressing against his side just like Tsume had done only a few minutes earlier.

Hige sighed, closing his eyes. This was what he was used to. Back when it had been just the two of them, they'd been nearly inseparable. Hige couldn't really remember a time when they'd been apart. Thinking about it made him yearn for Toboe's presence, who'd spent his entire life alone, away from them.

"I feel so guilty." Hige murmured.

Kiba's side expanded against Hige's as he sucked in a breath. "I do, too. I knew he was planning something, but… I couldn't stop him."

"He was smart, appealing to Tsume's weakness like that." Hige said. "He never could say no to Toboe."

Kiba made a small noise of agreement, lowering his head to the ground and closing his eyes. They stayed like that for some time, the sound of locusts buzzing in the trees filling their ears, calming Hige somewhat. It was a dull, boring sound that didn't stir anything within him. For once he was at peace, and he felt all the guiltier for it.

Soon, he felt another presence at his side, another warm body. He didn't need to open his eyes to know that Tsume had joined them on the hill. Snow was still in the clearing below, now in Cheza's lap, because the Flower Maiden was the closest she was going to get to a real human now that the one boy she'd loved more than anything was gone.

The three wolves pressed tightly together in the wake of the rising moon, grieving the loss of their friend, sharing the burden. Hige knew that if it weren't for his friends, he was sure to break. He would've been long gone without them, a prisoner to his own mind.

But even the sleep he felt tugging at his thoughts couldn't overtake the grief, and he wondered if this was how it had felt for Toboe in the years up until they'd found one another, lost and alone, grieving for something he couldn't fully understand, a prisoner to a past long forgotten.

* * *

><p><em>A.N.<em> Thanks to all who reviewed! You guys never cease to amaze me.


	20. Crimson Tide

_**Chapter 19: Crimson Tide**_

* * *

><p><em>I was alone.<em>

_Trapped in the house, I could not escape. The doors and windows were locked. Everything was gone, save for my box, which sat alone in the middle of the living room on the stained wood flooring. I couldn't open it. I didn't have the key._

_So, I cried._

_There was no echo in the house, nor were there any other signs of life. This place I'd known since my childhood was no longer welcoming. These walls were unfamiliar. There were no pictures or trinkets, small knickknacks that my mom had insisted on keeping within the home._

_The only thing left was the creepy owl clock that rested on the mantle above the fireplace. It seemed to stare straight at me, large, glass eyes unblinking as it kept the record of time, just as it had done since the day it was created._

_The ticking echoed in my mind, sounding much louder than it truly was. I was scared. I was alone. I was bleeding._

_The red seemed to seep into the floorboards, spreading throughout the room until the entire area smelled of iron and salt. Wrapping my arms around myself, I sat there, unblinking with my box in my lap, staring at the impenetrable object._

_I wanted my pictures of my family. With slippery, crimson fingers, I fumbled with the latch once more to no avail. The memories eluded me._

_A pale hand covered my own, and I trailed my gaze up the appendage and fixated them on a pair of bright blue eyes._

_Airi smiled sadly, kneeling on the floor in front of me. She was dressed in jeans and a white blouse, an equally white ribbon tied in her dark black hair._

_I told her that my blood would ruin her clothes, but she shook her head and told me it didn't matter._

_She removed the box from my lap, setting it carefully on the floor beside her, and pulled me into her arms, curling up on the floor with me. I didn't remove my head from her shoulder, only allowed her to hold onto me. She was shaking._

_I told her I was scared. She said she was, too._

_My eyes trailed up to the mantle, to the owl that was keeping a silent vigil. The ticking had stopped._

* * *

><p>The light was bright. Too bright. It didn't make sense, and it hurt my eyes. But then again, everything hurt, especially my left shoulder.<p>

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't look away. I couldn't even blink. I was frozen, caught in a moment too painful, too real to escape. Was this what death felt like? But there was supposed to be no pain in death. You weren't supposed to feel. So, I figured I wasn't dead.

But I wished I were.

The light went off, and I was engulfed in darkness once more. I sighed in relief. Maybe now I had passed on. Was I going to Paradise?

If I could conjure up my own form of Paradise, I wanted to go back to my house, the one I remembered, not the one I had just dreamed of. I missed my own bed, the couch in the living room, even the squeaky floorboards on the stairs.

My exhausted brain couldn't fully begin to comprehend what I had seen at the moment. My dreams were anything but random, and if I had one so strikingly vivid, it had to have meant something. But what?

"Have they received the results of the blood test yet? I think he's starting to come around."

I stiffened at the voice, releasing a small whine of pain.

"They should be here any minute." A different voice replied, a cold, hard male voice that sent a shiver of terror down my spine. Where was I? The last thing I remembered was running from Sasha in the woods. The rest was a blank slate. I wondered if my memory block was a blessing in disguise. Did I really want to know where I was? "I still think we should kill him before he wakes up completely. The shot to his shoulder did nothing but shock him into unconsciousness."

_I was shot?_ It all began to come back slowly, and I was starting to feel more awake.

When my eyes focused, I realized I was inside a cage. The thick metal bars terrified me, because I'd always had problems with being confined in tight spaces. The room I was in was dark, but I could see light from underneath a closed door across the room. I was itching for my freedom, but I couldn't do anything locked inside this cage.

Two shadowy figures were standing together in a corner a few feet away from me, and I knew they must have been the ones that had spoken. A small growl escaped me, but neither turned to look. Perhaps they hadn't heard.

"I can't believe that idiot missed his heart." The cold voice said again. "He knows there's no room for error in situations like these."

"Jones said the wolf was blending in with the mud at the creek. He couldn't get a good visual on him."

"Seems like he can't get a good visual on anything these days. But, hey, can you believe that Quent Yaiden guy? What right did he have, coming in and bitching about shooting when there were people in the area?"

"He was looking for that kid, the one from Fairfield that got abducted a few weeks ago. That's the whole reason we went out into the woods, because that dog of his caught the kid's scent. If the boy dies, he doesn't get paid."

It no longer fazed me when I heard others talking about my disappearance. They didn't understand why I'd left, and they weren't worth my time anyway. It did give me some sense of satisfaction that they had no idea that the boy they were talking about was also the wolf in the cage before them.

But the feeling was short-lived, and as my shoulder throbbed with pain once more, I began to feel a little apprehensive. How was I going to get out of here? What was it that these people were going to do with me?

I didn't know what had happened to the others, if they knew what had become of me. Did they think I was dead? I wanted to be back with them badly, but I told myself that if they'd gotten away, I would be fine. As long as the others were safe, I had something to fight to get back to. I'd find a way out of this place.

Ignoring my aching body, I began to push myself into a sitting position. I kept my left leg elevated off the ground, because even though I had a high tolerance for pain, it still hurt a lot. The pain could've been crippling, and I saw white spots in my vision.

Pushing myself up on three legs, I gingerly put my injured paw down as well. It buckled underneath me instantly, and I fell with a yelp, smacking hard into the cold metal of the cage.

The man with the cruel voice laughed, and I glared over at his form, baring my teeth and releasing a weak snarl. "Shut up, you mutt." He snapped, kicking viciously at my cage.

"Oh, you better hope I never get out of this cage." I seethed, abandoning my attempts to stand.

That had been humiliating to say the least. I wasn't particularly violent, but in that moment, all I wanted was to sink my teeth into that guy's throat and never let go. I recoiled slightly at the thought, my head lowering in shame. How could I ever think about killing a person? Being a wolf was doing things to my mind that weren't exactly welcome. Would it always be like this?

"Just leave it alone." The other man said, and I decided I liked him, if only a little bit. His voice sounded warm, and he wasn't as malicious as his companion. "I'm not going to be help you if it attacks."

Cruel-Voice scoffed, and I caught a flash of dark hazel eyes. He stared down at me with nothing but hate, and I shrunk back in my metal prison, desperate to escape. "Yeah, right." He said dismissively. "This thing's a shrimp compared to the others we've seen. It'll go down in five seconds."

"You're such an ass." The other man sighed, and I lay there, eyes fixated firmly on the door in front of me. Sooner or later, they were going to unlock the cage, whether to kill me or move me to a new location, it didn't matter. The second I was able, I was going to make a run for it.

My ear twitched as a faint noise came from down the hall, and I slowly lowered my head to rest on the bottom of the cage as it got louder and louder, eventually stopping outside the door, causing a shadow to block some of the light.

The door opened with a bang and a man in a button-up shirt and slacks stepped into the room, turning on the light. He was carrying a clipboard, and for some reason the sight of it made my stomach churn uneasily. I blinked a few times to refocus my vision as the men started to talk amongst themselves.

"Why were the lights off?" The newcomer questioned, though he didn't sound particularly interested in their answer.

"It was bothering the wolf, I think." The nicer man explained, glancing over at me. I held his gaze, hoping that he would see the human in me. My ears lowered in disappointment when he looked away again. "He kept whimpering."

Cruel-Voice rolled his eyes while the newcomer inspected his clipboard, a slight frown on his face. "So, did the blood sample come back yet?"

"Yes. The blood we found on the wolf's body is that of the missing teen from Fairfield, Toboe Asher. Quent Yaiden's dog was following the boy's scent, and it led them into the woods earlier. We can only assume that this wolf here had a run in with the boy and the unthinkable happened."

A sense of melancholy fell upon the room, and I had to clench my teeth to keep from crying out in frustration. Of course the blood they'd found in my fur was mine! I was Toboe Asher, couldn't these morons see that? I knew I was being irrational. There was no way these men could have possibly known that the wolf before them was the missing teenager they were discussing.

As I noticed the looks the three of them were now sending my way, I felt a small twinge of fear. If they thought I was a wolf that had killed a human, they were going to get rid of me. That was how these things worked. An animal couldn't attack a human without paying the ultimate price.

"What's gonna happen to him?" Cruel-Voice demanded, jerking his head in my direction.

I listened closely as the man with the clipboard answered. "They've already decided to put him down. He's young, maybe two years old at the most, but they're certain he harmed the boy. They didn't find Toboe's body, so they're going to perform an autopsy, see if there's anything in this wolf's stomach that will shed some light on this situation."

_Oh, God. _With a cold feeling in my heart, I realized that they had every intention of killing me. I might have survived being shot, but euthanasia was something I couldn't escape from.

"What are you going to tell the police down in Fairfield?" The nice man inquired. "The boy's family?"

"Toboe Asher is most likely dead. There was too much blood in the wolf's fur. Even if he did manage to get away, he's probably died of blood loss by now."

"Well, don't you think the dog would've found his body?"

"That's the thing. She's the best of the best, but once she hit the creek, she lost the scent. It's puzzling to say the least. All we can do now is put this fellow down before he hurts someone else."

"Good riddance." Cruel-Voice grumbled. "One less menace to the world."

I let loose a small growl, a feeling of nausea coming over me. That guy had been right. I had lost too much blood, and I was starting to feel the effects. I didn't want to die, not now when I had so much to do. Everyone was counting on me to help save the world, to succeed where we'd failed the first time.

My mom was waiting for me to come back, Hiro, and Kato, and Airi too. I felt an overwhelming urge to see them once more, and I thought that desperation kept me from passing out completely.

"You can't kill me!" I cried, trying to struggle to my paws once more. They had to understand that this was a mistake! "I didn't kill Toboe, I _am _Toboe." The three men looked at me with looks that exhibited pity, annoyance, and resignation. I bared my teeth in frustration, leaning heavily against the bars on the side of the cage. "You'll mess everything up if you put me down!"

"He probably has a disease." The man with the clipboard said dismissively. "Maybe rabies. Come on. They'll be in with the serum in a few moments. We're wanted at headquarters to discuss the missing boy with Quent Yaiden."

"No, wait!" I cried as they all turned to leave, heading for the door at a pace much too fast for my liking. "Don't leave! You _have _to let me out!"

But my cries fell on deaf ears, and as quickly as the men had appeared, they were gone, turning off the light as they went, their footsteps echoing in the silent hallways outside.

A whine escaped me, and just like in my dream, I felt terribly alone and frightened. This wasn't how it was supposed to end. I'd come too far just to allow a little needle to stop me. But it wasn't the needle that frightened me. It was what was inside it that had the power to break me.

I threw myself against the side of the cage, baring my teeth as pain flooded my body. But I ignored it and rammed into the bars again and again, not stopping until my injured leg received the brunt of the bars' strength.

The pain-filled cry I emitted hurt even my own ears, and I wondered just how far it had carried. Stumbling back in the cage, I crouched low, eyes screwed shut as I tried to battle through the pain. I didn't know if there was still a bullet in my body, but it sure hurt like there was.

I released a shaky breath, and as the oxygen left my body, so did whatever fight had been left within me. I sunk down slowly, my back to the door as I tried to ignore the fact that my imminent death was fast approaching.

There was nothing I could do. I was injured and weak, unsure of this new body even if I had spent a few days in it already. I still couldn't even control my own tail.

When the stinging in my shoulder became nearly unbearable, I craned my neck to get a better look at it. Through the gloom, I could see the slight discoloration in my fur where it was darker around the wound. I wondered how the idiots who'd taken samples of blood from my fur hadn't noticed that it was actually coming from _me_.

I leaned forward slightly, sniffing at the wound carefully. The scent of iron made my head spin, reminding me of how I'd sat in my dream with that exact smell surrounding me on all sides, prepared to swallow me whole or drive me to the brink of insanity, perhaps both.

But my reaction now wasn't the same as it had been then. My nose twitched in interest, and I found myself leaning forward more until the tip of my nose was just barely touching my shoulder. Hesitantly, I licked at the wound, not expecting the fine tremble that worked its way through my body at my first real taste of blood.

I'd been extremely careful not to come into contact with the stuff, even when I killed squirrels for practice in the woods, and I felt disgusted that the taste of my _own _blood pulled such a reaction from me. I had to admit that it didn't taste as repulsive as I'd imagined, and the burning in my shoulder had ceased when I'd licked it, if only for a moment. But I couldn't bring myself to do it again and turned my head away, resting it on my paws instead.

I didn't know how long I was alone. The minutes seemed to pass by so slowly, my heart pounding almost painfully in my chest as I listened carefully to the sounds outside the room, waiting for the footsteps that signaled the approach of that dreaded syringe.

I wondered if death would be quick. Even if I'd experienced it before, I didn't remember it. I would've laughed if I were emotionally able. A bullet had done me in the first time around. I'd managed to escape with my life the second time, but that didn't really matter, now did it?

I hoped the others would take care of Snow, and if they didn't want to, they would at least take her back to Fairfield and give her to my mom. She was and always would be my best friend, no matter who I'd been in my previous life. I didn't wish she were with me, because that wasn't something I would wish upon anybody, no matter how much I longed for their presence.

I longed for my mom and my brothers and sister. I wanted my mom to sing to me in these last moments like she had when I was younger, when she tucked me in at night. I wanted Hiro to tell me to stop being a baby, that dying wasn't as terrifying as living in a world as terrible as this one. Kato wouldn't say anything, if he were here. He had been the stoic one. Out of the four of us, he'd always been the one that kept his cool in most situations, even if he was quicker to anger than Hiro.

I couldn't image what Airi would do. She was harder to predict than my brothers, always changing, just like the seasons. I yearned for the days I could hardly remember, back when I was younger and she would let me hold her hand when we went to the store or the park. I didn't know what she would do if she was here, but I did know that I would be comforted by her presence alone.

When the door opened, I didn't move. I only closed my eyes and waited for that sharp pain of the needle. I couldn't stop my body from tensing, even though I knew it would only make the initial injection more painful. Years of visits to the doctor's office told me that much.

The pain in my shoulder flared, but I ignored it. Blood was rushing in my ears, making it nearly impossible to hear, but I felt the vibrations of the footsteps moving closer to me. This was it.

But nothing happened. Slowly, my heart rate began to decrease, and the roaring in my ears died away. But I didn't dare more or open my eyes.

"You were a hard nut to crack, you know that, kid?"

My eyes shot open. I recognized that voice. I'd heard it over the television dozens of times in the past few weeks.

Quent Yaiden looked even more intimidating in person, with small, dark eyes and a hard jaw. He was easily six-feet tall, maybe even taller than Tsume when he was human.

At his side was the black lab that had sort of put me in this situation, brown eyes alert and curious. I stared at the both of them, more so at Quent than Sasha. I was afraid to speak. It seemed to me that he knew who I really was. But that didn't make sense, and I blamed my thoughts on my terror-induced state.

"You don't have to be afraid." I jumped slightly when Sasha spoke, moving forward slightly so she was only a few inches away from my cage. "We're here to help you, not harm you."

I couldn't contain my growl. "You chased me into the woods and got me shot. How was that helping me?"

"No one told you to run." She retorted, tail lashing through the air with annoyance. "Didn't you hear me calling for you?"

I felt extremely confused, but then my eyes widened in realization. I hadn't heard her calling out for me to stop. Before I got shot, I couldn't speak to animals at all. But I heard everything she was saying now perfectly. What had changed? A part of me wondered if it was the blood I'd tasted, if it had awakened the dormant wolf within me even further. I was going to have to ask Kiba later. If I ever saw him again, that is.

"No, I didn't hear you." I said uncertainly, pushing myself into a sitting position slowly, bowing my head so it didn't touch the top of the cage. "I – This is the first time I've ever spoken to an animal."

Sasha didn't seem surprised, only looked up at Quent. "I think he's okay to leave. We have to remove the bullet anyhow."

To my utter shock, Quent nodded, like he'd understood exactly what she'd said. "We don't have much time." He pulled a set of keys out of his pocket. "I only managed to sidetrack those moron police long enough to get him out of here before they show up with the serum."

And before I knew what was happening, the retired police officer was unlocking my cage and opening the door. He reached in to grab the fur at the back of my neck to start pulling me out, and something clicked inside me.

His scent. It was everywhere.

* * *

><p><em>I leaned forward slightly, sniffing at the air. There was a scent in the wind, one that I recognized, but I couldn't quite remember what or whom it belonged to.<em>

_I desperately wished it were Kiba's, although I knew it wasn't. We'd spent so long searching for him. I just wanted him safely back with us._

_Hige glanced back at me irritably from where he sat in the snow, tugging restlessly at his collar. I ignored him in favor of trying to determine where the peculiar smell was coming from. It had gained my complete attention._

_"What is it?" Tsume asked, hands in his pockets as he turned to see why I had stopped._

"_I'm not sure." I replied, my eyes narrowing in thought at I stared through the falling snow. We'd been out here for so long in search of Kiba. Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me. "I smell a familiar scent."_

"_A familiar scent?" Tsume echoed incredulously as I bounded down the icy rocks, finally managing to pinpoint where the smell was coming from._

_As I slid down the embankment, I spotted a body in the snow, and as I drew closer, I realized it was that man. The one who had tried to kill me so long ago, on the day I'd met Tsume. I felt no hostility as I knelt beside the unconscious human in the snow, reaching out with my hand to touch him, to see if he was okay, but I held back. I knew he didn't like wolves._

_"It's him again." Tsume said from behind me, his voice holding a hint of distaste._

"_His body's almost frozen." I said, gathering the nerve to touch the unconscious man's shoulder. It was true. I'd never felt anyone so cold before, except for Granny a few hours after she'd died._

"_Just leave him." That was Hige. He'd obviously stopped wallowing in self-pity and had come over to investigate. I was overjoyed that he seemed to be feeling better, but I couldn't help but frown. "It's what he deserves."_

_I turned to look up at him, taking in the indifferent look on his face. "How could you say that knowing how important he is to Blue? If we don't do something he's going to die!"_

_Hige stared at me for a moment, face impassive, before turning away with a snort. I turned back to Pops, a certain sadness taking over me when I thought about the blue-eyed wolf dog._

_"We couldn't do anything to save Blue either, remember?" I couldn't help but say it. I'd never been especially good at keeping my thoughts to myself. I knew we all felt guilty that Blue had been left behind, back in Jaguara's Keep. I didn't know what had happened to her, but as of now, it was all I could do to not assume the worst._

_A low growl sounded from behind me, and suddenly Hige had me by the front of my shirt, brown eyes blazing with pain and rage as he reared his right arm back and punched me in the face._

_I landed on the ground beside Pops' body with a pained grunt, the skin on my face stinging from both the cold and the force of Hige's punch. I scrambled backwards in the snow as Hige advanced once more, his eyes wild with anger and a raw pain I'd never seen him express before, but Tsume lunged forward and grabbed his collar before he could so much as take a step, jerking him back._

_"Would you stop it?" Tsume snapped, yanking on Hige's collar once more for good measure before letting go completely. "Don't take it out on him."_

_As I pushed myself into a sitting position, gingerly cupping my cheek in my palm, I wasn't angry with Hige for hitting me. He'd been holding his sadness and anger at losing Blue and Kiba in for some time now. If lashing out at me helped him sort through whatever it was he was feeling, I would endure it._

_"It didn't hurt too bad." I whispered when I saw the guilt appear on Hige's face, even though I could already feel the heat rising in my hand. There was surely going to be a bruise._

_My words only made the look increase in intensity, but Hige clenched his jaw once more and turned to glare at Tsume. "We're looking for Kiba, right?" Tsume said nothing, only stared at him with a look I'd seen him give Kiba many times, usually when he thought he was out of his mind. "Then let's go."_

_And with that, Hige turned and walked away, hands stuffed in the pockets of his sweatshirt as he trudged through the snow, head bowed in a silent display of grief._

_I pushed myself to my feet as Tsume watched him leave before turning to address me. "Toboe?"_

"_Why don't you go on ahead?" I said timidly, shifting my gaze to Pops once more. "I'll catch up with you."_

"_Don't come crying to me when he wakes up and shoots you!" Hige called over his shoulder, already starting to disappear over the snow-encrusted hill._

_I tried not to flinch, because ever since my first encounter with Pops and Blue, being shot was my worst fear. But Hige didn't know that, so I couldn't blame him for bringing it up._

_"Hey," Tsume said, carefully watching my face for any kind of reaction, "don't get too involved. He's a human, after all."_

"_Just go on." I urged, turning my back on him. They didn't understand what humans meant to me any more than they had on the day I'd first met them. I didn't really think they ever would. That's why I had liked Blue so much. She understood._

_I didn't move until the sounds of Tsume and Hige's footsteps had faded into the distance, and even then I waited a few moments longer, just observing Pops. Then I shifted and crept forward on all fours, being careful not to approach too quickly in case I startled him into consciousness._

_I lay down next to Pops slowly, heating him with my body, the cold snow seeping into my fur and chilling me almost to the bone, but I ignored my discomfort, because it was nothing compared to how Pops must've been feeling. I wondered if the cold reached him in his sleep. I certainly hoped not, and I pressed closer, just in case._

_Suddenly, his arm moved, wrapping itself around my back. I recoiled in surprise when he started to groan but tried not to make a sound. Hige's words echoed in my mind, and I eyed the gun lying in the snow before me warily. Maybe I should've hid it before attempting something this bold._

_"Oh, Blue – " I froze. Quent was speaking, still very much asleep yet somehow making his thoughts known. Did he really think I was Blue? "There you are, my good girl. Blue." He brought his other arm up to wrap around my body as well, hugging me close. I felt terrible for intruding on such a moment of weakness, but I knew it couldn't be helped. I just rested my head beside his and let him bask in the moment where he was reunited with her, even if it was a false dream. I hoped one day it would become reality. "I'm so sorry."_

_I blinked in surprise. I'd spent a lot of time with Blue, talked to her in ways I hadn't with Kiba or Hige or even Tsume. I knew she loved Pops a lot, but one of the things she'd said she detested about him was that he never apologized for anything._

_Pops's eyes opened suddenly, and he looked straight at me, but somehow I knew that my face wasn't the one he was seeing. "Russe." He moaned pathetically, and I felt a tug at my heart._

_Russe had been Blue's owner, Pops's son. She'd told me once that I looked a bit like him when I was human. I'd never been more sorry in my entire life. Pops clutched me even tighter, tears beginning to spill out of the corners of his eyes. On impulse, I leaned forward and licked them away, the salt tasting almost foreign on my tongue._

_Alone in the snow with Pops, I felt sadder than I'd been in a very long time. He'd lost everything, his home, his family, and now Blue._

_Before the moment I saw him cry, I viewed him as a bitter man that only cared about seeking out his revenge on wolves. But as he clung to me in the sheer cold, his tears dampening my fur at an alarming rate, I realized just how wrong we'd all been about him._

* * *

><p>When I blinked next I was out of the cage, hoisted up in Quent Yaiden's arms as he carried me out of the dark room, Sasha in tow. "Pops." I whispered uncertainly, my head rested neatly in the crook of his arm.<p>

His stride faltered slightly, but he didn't stop moving. "Haven't been called that in a long while." His gruff voice said from above.

I blinked lethargically, my eyes trained lazily on Sasha who was walking beside Quent, staring up at me with caring eyes. "How can you – "

"How can I understand you?" He interrupted me, glancing down a hall warily before turning the corner. The smell of the outdoors was overwhelming at best, and I itched to be out in the night air. My fur was practically prickling with want. "They inject us with wolf blood at the WRA. Donated, of course. There's something about it that allows humans to speak to animals. Comes in handy in situations like these."

I heaved a giant sigh, too tired to worry over how he'd basically just told me he worked for the Wolf Recovery Association and had all along. It didn't make sense, but then again nothing really did anymore. I was going to have to learn to take things as they were before I eventually died of shock instead of a lethal injection.

And then suddenly the cool air of the building was gone, replaced with the warmth of the night air, muggy with the promise of rain. I lifted my gaze to the sky, taking in the full moon. On nights like these, Hige was at his best, joking and playing like the wolf I knew he really was. I wanted to see him so badly right then, Tsume, Kiba, Snow, and Chezam too.

"Sasha, have you been able to locate the others?" Quent said after a few minutes of walking.

"Their scent was stale when I checked the creek." Sasha's voice replied, and I realized I liked the sound of it. It was warm and smooth and deep, almost soothing my exhausted mind to the point where I thought I would fall asleep listening to it. "I howled but didn't receive a response. The youngsters didn't listen when I called for them to stop either. There's no excuse for it, unlike in Toboe's case. They should be reprimanded."

Quent chuckled. "I'll leave that to you, old girl."

Listening to the two exchange dialogue so easily, I couldn't help but feel intimidated. These two were so comfortable with each other, something I'd only experienced with Snow. Never had I seen a human and an animal so close.

I couldn't help but wonder what exactly they were going to do with me now that they'd liberated me from my death prison. Were they still taking me home? Would they bring me to the others? I didn't know what their role was in this situation, and I was desperate to find out. But first, I needed to figure out where they were taking me.

When the abandoned building first came into view, I didn't know what to think. I was appreciative, because I didn't exactly want to be around humans at the moment, yet I was also terrified, because they could kill me just as easily as those men could have.

But Quent carried me into the building silently, Sasha closing the door with her head behind him, and set me down on a bed of blankets that seemed odd in such a desolate place. The rafters above me were old, termite-worn, and littered with cobwebs. The sound of scuffling sounded from somewhere – everywhere, really – and my stomach growled loudly when I realized they were most likely rats.

Quent lit a lantern in the middle of the room, taking off his long coat and throwing it to the floor, rolling up the sleeves of his white dress shirt. Sasha grabbed the coat in her jaws and carried it over to the door, placing her front paws on the wall and standing tall on her back ones as she somehow maneuvered it onto an ancient-looking hook on the wall.

I watched in fascination. "Cool trick."

She turned to regard with me with brown eyes hardened from the weight of her job, yet softened with age. "You learn a thing or two under the instruction of a mess of a human like Quent." She replied, trotting over to sit beside me. "I've been hanging up his coats for nearly eight years."

Quent snorted, digging around in a black bag with his back to us. For some reason, I was worried he was going to pull out a gun. "How does his wound look, Sasha?"

I whined as the older dog leaned down to sniff at my shoulder, licking it experimentally just as I had done.

"It's not infected, thank goodness. The bullet that idiot of a man shot only grazed his shoulder bone, I think. You'll need to use hydrogen peroxide, maybe apply some Neosporin as well." She replied, eyes darkening with worry for a moment before she met my gaze and realized just how terrified and confused I felt. "You'll be fine, I promise. You'll be back with your buddies in no time, little one."

"What's going on?" I asked, starting to feel alert enough to voice all my questions. "What happened?"

"You mean at the creek?" Sasha inquired as Quent moved towards us with a roll of bandages, a dark brown bottle, and a small pink one, kneeling down on the floor before me. "Well, when I caught up with you, you were rolling around in the mud trying to mask your scent, I presume. It was a nice trick, but my nose is sharper than that, even if I'm not as young as I used to be. But before Quent showed up, one of the resident policemen here took aim at you and fired. But like I said, the bullet only grazed your shoulder. Your little camouflage stunt worked well in your favor."

"If it only grazed me, why'd I pass out?" I asked, yelping as Quent began to dab at my shoulder wound with a cotton ball doused in what I assumed was hydrogen peroxide.

Sasha crouched down near my head, her tail thumping on the floor as she leaned forward to rasp her tongue over my ear soothingly. I felt my own tail hit the floor in response, and this time I welcomed the unplanned movement.

"I shot you with a tranquilizer." Quent answered for her this time, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he worked on treating my wound. "I figured knocking you out would make the others assume you were dead. They're paranoid when it comes to injuries of any kind in this time."

I didn't say anything for a moment, only watched as Sasha looked at Quent with a look in her eyes that vaguely resembled annoyance. As I pieced together what he'd just said, I started to feel angry.

"Wait, you _planned _for this to happen?" I demanded. "You wanted them to think I was dead? Why?"

"Because I've been chasing after you for weeks now, Toboe." Quent said, sounding extremely irritated. "You getting shot was never the plan, but I guess it worked well in our favor."

"What he means to say is that we had to get you away from your friends briefly." Sasha cut in. "They don't exactly trust the WRA, and we never would've been able to talk with you if they were around."

"I can see why they don't trust them." I said, my voice sounding harsher than I intended. I blamed it on pain and exhaustion.

They didn't say anything, and the silence in the small building went undisturbed apart from my occasional pain-filled yelps as Quent continued to treat my wound. Eventually, he was pleased with the way it looked and wrapped the gauze around the top of my leg, pinning it together with a safety pin. I was lucky the bullet had grazed just below the joint, otherwise it would've been difficult to dress the injury.

"Contrary to whatever Kiba, Hige, and Tsume want to believe," Quent said once he'd pulled away, fixing me with a hard look, "we're not out to get them."

"Okay, I'm confused." I said, starting to get to my paws, but Sasha placed her paw on my side and held me down, giving me a warning growl that I dared not ignore. "I thought you were following us to take me back home, not talk to me about WRA matters."

"I've been a member of the WRA since I was your age, kid." Quent said. "Being a police officer was just a side job. When Katoba contacted me and said we had a runaway Wolf of Legend on our hands, it was my job to track you down before someone else did."

"Officer Katoba's a part of the WRA, too?" I asked. It was surprising to say the least.

The man had been Airi's parole officer since the day she'd started getting into trouble. I respected him for trying to keep my sister on the straight and narrow, and now that I knew how involved he was with the wolves, that respect had only multiplied.

Quent nodded, looking a bit reminiscent. "He and I trained together. But that's neither here nor there. There is a reason we've been so relentless in locating you, Toboe."

"Do you remember?" I interrupted him, anxiously awaiting his answer. His reaction when I'd called him Pops was a good enough answer, but I wanted to know if I'd just imagined it. "Do you remember how it was… before?"

The older man looked down at me, almost looking sad for a moment. I thought back to how he'd looked in my memory, lost and fragile out in the snowstorm. I didn't remember how he'd gotten out there, but it would eventually come in time.

"Yes, I remember." He said eventually. "It's part of the reason why they sent me after you and not someone else. I knew you before, and I spent a good amount of time tracking you. I knew how the four of you moved and operated. Nothing's changed, really."

I heard what he didn't say. I'd gathered enough to know that Blue was a desired aspect to our lives. Even if I didn't know much about her, I kept finding myself longing for her presence. I knew from that single memory alone that Blue had meant a lot to Quent Yaiden. It probably hurt him just as much as it did Hige that she wasn't around.

"They knew you were a wolf from the moment you were born, you know." Quent said suddenly, seemingly drifting to a random topic. "The doctors at the hospital in Fairfield are trained to look for signs. Babies that are born healthy but don't cry are normally wolves. You and your sister have been heavily monitored since the day you were born."

I stared up at him in shock, because there was no way he'd said what I thought he had. Airi was a wolf, too? "Your neighbor, Mrs. Pennon, was assigned to watch over the both of you as you grew up and look for signs that your dormant wolf sides were resurfacing." He continued, leaving me with little time to come to terms with it. "Airi started getting aggressive when she started sixth grade, and she's been under heavy surveillance ever since. You on the other hand showed no signs of unlocking your true form. It wasn't until you ran away that we even considered the possibility that you knew more than you were letting on."

"I didn't know a thing until a few days ago." I said lowly, my eyes beginning to droop as Sasha continued to lick me in a soothing manner. I was going to fall asleep any second if she didn't stop, but I couldn't bring myself to move.

Quent nodded, pulling his bag closer to his side as he began to dig through it. "But as I was saying before, the main reason we've been trailing you was to give you this."

I forced my eyes to open fully to see just what I was being presented with. It was just a small, white bottle. It looked like medicine, but that didn't make much sense. Why would he be giving me medicine?

I jolted in place, instantly awake. "Hige!"

Quent nodded, and Sasha ceased in her licking, looking rather somber. "I can only imagine how bad he's gotten since you left Fairfield." Sasha said softly. "It's been at least six months since he last took it."

"It's called Risperdal Levodopa." Quent added, eyeing the bottle with distaste. "A counteractive drug that treats his Parkinson's as well as keep his hallucinations and memories in check. I brought it with me because you won't be able to continue with your mission if Hige shuts down along the way."

"Shuts down?" I echoed, my voice trembling. "What does that mean?"

"Don't worry about that now." Sasha said gently. "You'll never see it happen so long as you take Hige this medicine."

"He won't do it." I said urgently. I'd loathed the medication after I learned what it did to Hige, but now it seemed to be the only thing that would save his sanity. No amount of prodding I did would make him think otherwise. "He's too proud to do it, and Kiba doesn't like him taking it. He won't do anything without Kiba's consent."

Quent scoffed, tossing the pill bottle back into his bag unceremoniously, making me wince. "Kiba is detrimental to Hige's health. Sure, he helps him through the attacks, but pretty soon they'll get so violent that even Tsume won't be able to get through to him. Taking him out of Fairfield was both the best and worst thing they could've done. In Fairfield, there are people who are advocating for his death, yet they have the medicines to keep him as healthy and safe as possible. Out here, he's under more stress and anything can set him off, but he's also not under pressure like he is in the city."

"You seem to know a lot about him."

"Protecting the four of you has been my job since the day Kiba was born." Quent told me. "I know everything there is to know."

That didn't sound as creepy to me as I thought it should have. In fact, I trusted him more now that he'd told me all this. He'd lived through everything we had. He understood what it was like to be reborn and have to figure out who you were, something I was still trying to find out.

"Our time here is running out, Toboe." Sasha said. "You need to get back to the others before they get too far away to hear your howl."

I lowered my eyes. "I can't howl."

She looked startled. "What do you mean?"

"Kiba said I couldn't howl if I'm not in touch with my wolf side. I've tried before and… well, it isn't pretty."

Sasha looked to Quent for confirmation, and he nodded, looking thoughtful.

"Well, we'll just have to help you with that." He said eventually, gathering his things and hefting the bag over his shoulder, turning to the door and grabbing his coat. "Sasha, help Toboe up. We're going to the park."

* * *

><p>The walk to the park was by far one of the most painful things I'd ever lived through. The bullet had clipped bone even if it hadn't lodged itself into my leg. Sasha reminded me that if I kept walking on it, it would be just as effective as going through physical therapy as a human. I just couldn't exert myself too much.<p>

The trip took longer than necessary, what with my slow, limping gate, but eventually the swing sets in the park came into view. I was panting heavily when Quent finally stopped walking, setting down his bag and turning to face us. "Alright, Sasha. You're up."

Sasha woofed softly under her breath, looking at me with dark eyes that twinkled in the moonlight. "Alright, Toboe, sit down."

And I did so without question, grateful for the chance to rest. I hoped I wouldn't be like this for long. It would be such an inconvenience to us if I couldn't travel more than a few miles a day without the car. "Take a deep breath, and close your eyes." The black lab instructed, and again, I listened obediently.

My ears twitched as I took in the sounds around me, from the locusts in the trees to the frogs croaking in the creek deeper in the woods. The dull throb in my leg was an ever-present nuisance in my mind, but I tried to fight through it.

"Now think about what you love most."

I opened my eyes. "What?"

Sasha reached up to scratch at her collar with her hind leg vigorously, which was the first animalistic gesture she'd made all night. "I don't think you're in touch with what you really are yet. If you think about all the things you love, the things you'll do anything to protect, I think you should be able to pull a howl out. Just try it."

I nodded, taking another deep breath and closing my eyes. Where to start? I had so many people in my life that I cared for, that I was saving the world for.

My mother, for starters. She never knew about what I was, and I hoped with everything I had that she would still love me once this was over, once I told her what I was.

Hiro and Kato needed a chance to get better, which was another reason why I was doing this. The both of them were capable of so much more than what they had become, and when I went home – if I went home – I was going to say so, even if I got shoved into the fireplace again.

I had to get back to the others, not just because I missed being in their presence, but so I could give Hige his medicine. There was no doubt in my mind he wouldn't be able to hang on much longer without it, and I was going to make him and Kiba see reason with a little help from Sasha and Quent.

Snow… well, I loved her for obvious reasons. My best friend, my confidant, my pet. She was the most valuable thing I possessed, and the sorrow that overcame me when I was in the cage at the thought of never seeing her again seemed so unjustified now. I would always find my way back to her, to all of them.

I felt a pang in my chest as I thought about Airi. Did my sister know about what we were? I hadn't asked Quent when he'd told me, but I was curious.

How would she take it, knowing that she was actually a completely different species if you looked underneath her human appearance? Her sudden change in attitude once she'd hit adolescence made so much more sense now, though I wished she were just as she'd been when we were kids, all happy smiles and giggles.

I thought about my dream, how she'd been there for me when I was alone in our house. I was desperate to get back to her, to tell her how much I loved her, even if she punched me for saying so.

They all needed to know how I felt about them, even if they had made my life a living hell for the past couple of years. I loved them all. I was doing this for them.

And all the emotions from the past couple hours just burst inside me, and before I knew what was going on, a howl pierced the night air.

It was by far the saddest, loneliest thing I'd ever heard in my life, and I knew without a doubt that it was mine. It was like a part of myself that I knew and understood thoroughly, and I was practically mesmerized by the sound.

It seemed to explain my entire personality in one single, never-ending note, how alone I'd been in the years I'd spent in Fairfield and how much I'd missed this side of myself, even if I couldn't remember it.

And with the moon as my witness, I accepted it. I wanted to be that wolf from the legend. I wanted to be able to run through the trees for hours on end, to hunt and kill and not be disgusted by the taste of blood. I admitted in that howl that being a human wasn't all it was cracked up to be. There was so much to worry about, jobs, money, annoying social groups at school.

There was still a social hierarchy within the life of a wolf, but it wasn't as tense or forced. We were a family, Kiba, Hige, Tsume and I. We always had been, even when we were apart, and we always would be, and I refused to let that go.

I didn't stop until I'd run out of breath, still tired from my walk over here. Sasha looked awe-struck and a little sad, turning to share a look with Quent. I stared at the grass beneath my paws with buzzing eyes, listening and hoping, _praying_ that I would receive an answer. The locusts had fallen silent in the woods, as had the frogs, and I wondered if it was because of me.

Then, in the distance, a single howl sounded, and it wasn't my echo.

I got to my paws hastily, unable to keep still. With a happy yip, I realized I recognized that howl, even if I'd never heard it before.

It was strong and proud, just like its owner, yet had an air of gentleness that only a few others aside from myself ever heard. Two more howls joined Tsume's, one rich and collected while the other was light and heavy at the same time, a baritone of pain and happiness that I instinctively knew Hige had never had before, yet it seemed to fit him nevertheless.

I tipped my head back and howled again, letting them know that I was indeed still alive and was waiting for them to come get me. I was practically shaking on my paws with the urgency I now felt.

I thought they arrived rather quickly for having sounded so far away. Hige appeared first, a giant ball of fur that burst from the trees like a bear on the warpath, amber eyes bright as he tore across the clearing towards me.

I didn't even have a chance to take one step forward before he was barreling into me, pushing me down onto the grass with a force that nearly knocked the breath right out of me.

"Toboe, you're alive!" He cried, his voice sounding so wrecked and joyful that I probably would've cried if I were able.

"Of course I'm alive." I said, rolling away from him playfully and jumping to my paws before crouching down, letting loose a playful growl. "A silly little bullet isn't going to take me down so easily."

Hige looked about ready to burst, bumping his head into my side as I jumped around him, the pain in my leg forgotten. I was suddenly reminded of how Toboe had greeted me when I went to Paradise to reunite with him. It had been a little bit like this. And I was even happier at that realization, because it made me feel all the more closer to him.

I turned back to the trees, waiting for Tsume and Kiba to make an appearance, but they were already there, watching the two of us silently. They were far more composed than Hige was, observing me quietly as if they couldn't really believe I was there.

I dropped to the ground completely, startling Hige a bit at my sudden display of submission. I didn't really know what I was doing. I just let my instincts do the talking, because I'd been fighting against them for far too long.

Hige seemed to understand what was going on, for he backed away slowly, head and tail low although I knew he was still giddy with excitement. I stayed still as Kiba moved forward first, just as the pack leader should, yellow eyes sharp as he stood over me. I was all too happy to stay completely still as Kiba sniffed at me curiously, mostly at my wounded shoulder.

"They could've killed you." He said lowly.

I nodded, lowering my eyes to his mud-stained paws. "I know, and I'm sorry. I just wanted to protect everyone."

Kiba huffed, pressing his nose to my shoulder briefly before pulling away, eyes shining with relief. "You don't have to do everything by yourself, you know."

Hige huffed from behind me, and I felt a grin coming on, even if I couldn't express it in this body. Instead, I finally stood up, pushing my head into Kiba's chest with just enough force to make him stumble back a bit.

He returned the gesture almost as enthusiastically as Hige had, butting his head into mine and circling around my body critically, probably looking for more wounds that weren't as obvious to him. I grew anxious as Tsume remained silent, moving closer but never saying anything.

"Sorry I tricked you." I said rather pathetically.

His ear twitched. "Just don't do it again."

I inwardly relaxed, hearing everything that he wouldn't allow himself to say. My second near-death experience had rattled everyone, but I could see how bothered Tsume still was by the entire thing. I felt guilty for putting them through so much, but some good had come out of it.

"What happened?" Hige asked me, pushing his nose into my cheek to grab my attention. "How did you – what _happened_?"

"I got shot." I breathed, watching as they all tensed up, reliving a memory that I still couldn't recall. "But it wasn't too bad, just a scratch."

"Then why did you look so dead?"

"Quent shot me with a tranquilizer." I said uneasily, unsure of how they would receive this news. "But he rescued me from being euthanized, you guys."

The three of them turned their attention to Quent and Sasha, who had gone unnoticed in the time they'd been here. Sasha's eyes flashed dangerously as Tsume growled low in his throat, and she let loose a growl of her own, hackles high as she positioned herself between us and Quent, ready to defend him with her life.

I barely stifled a distressed whine as I watched. I didn't want to watch them fight, not when Quent and Sasha had rescued me from being killed and treated my wound.

"She taught me how to find my howl." I said urgently, hoping to lessen the hostility some. "Without her, I never would've been able to call for you guys."

Tsume stopped growling, as did Sasha a moment later, but no one moved. They didn't know the whole story like I did. Quent and Kiba stared one another down for what seemed like an eternity before Kiba spoke.

"So, you work for the WRA?" Somehow he'd been able to piece together what I hadn't.

Quent nodded. "I've been your guardian of some sorts for years now, always in the shadows."

Kiba's tail lashed through the air. "I saw you on the streets on the day we heard Cheza's voice. You didn't seem to recognize me back then."

"I was undercover. Your brother was rather clear with his instructions, Kiba."

I inwardly winced, because Dante was a touchy subject for Kiba and Hige. Quent wasn't helping his case by bringing him up. And why were they all acting like this? Hadn't Quent been an ally of ours before? I remembered how hostile Hige had been in my memory, but hadn't things changed? Or was it just because of his association with the WRA? Did their hatred for the organization really stretch that far?

Kiba considered Quent's words for a few more moments, eyes still narrowed in hostility. "Thank you for helping Toboe when I couldn't." He said eventually, his stiff posture loosening.

Quent and Sasha relaxed as well. "It was my pleasure." Quent replied sincerely.

Tsume huffed, standing at his full height. "It's your fault Toboe died in the first place."

I froze, having forgotten the circumstances under which I'd been shot. Quent was the man I'd died protecting. I still didn't understand my reasoning, whether it had been for Blue or my own connection with the man, but I didn't really care.

"I don't regret it." I said softly when anger and guilt flashed across Quent's face. "I'd gladly do it again."

Hige pressed against my side, a comforting presence in the tense moment. At that point, all I wanted was to go to sleep.

Tsume glanced back at me over his shoulder, his eyes unreadable, before turning back to face Quent.

"Look," Quent said eventually, running a hand over his face in exasperation, "I didn't come here to fight with you two. I'm only making a delivery."

"What kind of delivery?" Hige inquired, and I pulled away from him, staring up at his face.

"Your medicine." I said slowly, watching as Hige's eyes widened a fraction. The fear I saw in them was impossible to ignore. "Hige, I know you – "

"Can we not talk about this now?" He cut me off, backing away from me a bit. "I'm happy for a change."

I bit my tongue, instantly regretting it when my sharp teeth pierced the flesh. Well, that was one tick I was going to have to get over soon.

"And Toboe's shoulder will need to be tended to everyday for the next week or so." Quent said, gesturing to the black bag on the ground. "Everything you need is in there."

Kiba nodded slowly, looking slightly suspicious but not voicing it. "Alright."

"And here." Quent said, fishing around in the pocket of his jacket and pulling out a set of keys. "It was Dante's understanding that you found Cheza. He said you'll be needing a bigger car if you want to get around, plus the police know what your old one looks like. It's in the hotel parking lot. It's safe to go get it by now."

"Great." Hige muttered. "A present from Dante. I just hope it isn't a pedophile van."

Kiba turned into a human and walked toward Quent, followed closely by Tsume, and I took measurements of the man's height. Quent and Tsume were about the same height, just as I'd predicted.

Sasha stood rigid as they came closer, but at the signal from Quent, she fell back without protest. Tsume took the keys while Kiba grabbed the bag, offering Quent his hand.

After a moment, the older human shook it. "I'll try and keep the police force off your guys' tail." He said, moving past Kiba and Tsume with Sasha at his heels. "Just try to not get yourselves killed."

Sasha gave me a warm look as she passed. "Don't stay away from Fairfield too long, Toboe. Your family misses you."

I leaned forward and touched my nose to hers. " Thank you, Sasha."

She nodded, turning a hardened gaze to Hige. "Take care of yourself, don't do anything moronic, and make sure Toboe doesn't get hurt again, understood?"

Hige chuckled, licking her ear in the same way she had done to me back at the abandoned building. "Yes, _Mom_."

"Mom?" I echoed as Quent and Sasha walked away.

Hige watched them leave, his eyes mostly on Sasha. "She was kind of like a surrogate mother to me when I first got to the WRA. She was the only one that would put up with my outbursts aside from Kiba."

I stayed silent, not knowing what to say. I could picture Sasha being that motherly figure to Hige. She had a sense of humor but was still professional in every sense of the word. She could certainly be that rock Hige needed.

"I'm so glad you're okay." Hige breathed eventually, turning to look at me once more. "I thought you were – It was terrible. Snow was devastated."

"I can imagine." I said sadly, itching to get back to her so she would know I was okay. "Where is she?"

"She stayed up in the hills with Cheza." Kiba replied as he and Tsume moved closer to us. "Hige, you and Toboe stay here. Tsume and I are going to go see what's up with this new car situation."

"Dante probably put a tracker in it." Tsume said, and I noticed the bags under his eyes for the first time that night. I wondered if I had caused that.

"Fine, we'll stay put." Hige said as they started to move away. "It's not like we have anywhere to go."

I huffed, butting my head into Hige once more in jest, still elated that I was with them once more. Now that I had accepted who I was – or at least I hoped I had – did that mean I could change into a human again?

I wanted to test it out, but I was far too comfortable in my own fur at the moment. Maybe I'd turn human tomorrow.

_"Toboe."_

I froze, as did Hige, but Kiba and Tsume kept walking as if nothing had happened. Cheza was only speaking to the two of us.

"What is it, Cheza?" Hige whispered.

"_This One found Blue."_

Hige was racing across the clearing so quickly it took me a moment to realize he'd moved. I called his name as I ran after him, into the trees and undergrowth, dodging this way and that as I struggled to keep up with him, the pain in my shoulder flaring to nearly intolerable levels.

"Please." I heard Hige say from ahead of me, a never-ending mantra of hope that I prayed was well earned.

Cheza had no reason to lie, but for Hige's sake, I really hoped she had found our missing pack member. I wasn't sure what to think of this new development. One minute I was being prepped for death, and the next Cheza qas saying she found Blue. It seemed so random to me, but I wasn't going to question it. I would never question anything that made Hige so happy.

Hige skidded to a halt all of a sudden, and I almost ran straight into him. Peering around Hige's frozen form, I gazed into the clearing with wide eyes.

Cheza was standing in the middle of the grass, and with her was a girl I'd never seen before. She had a striking resemblance to Airi, with long back hair and blue eyes. She looked to be maybe my age and was wearing a black jacket over a maroon wife-beater and a black ruffled skirt that stopped a few inches above the knee. She had on a pair of black combat boots that looked like something Airi would wear, and a ribbon that resembled her shirt was tied in her hair like a headband.

Cheza turned to face us, as did the girl, and I watched in fascination as her eyes widened at the sight of us.

"Blue." Hige whispered hoarsely.

The girl's eyes filled with tears, and she ran across the clearing toward us, her feet hardly making a sound as she moved. I watched her approach, excited for Hige's sake, because I knew he'd missed Blue more than all of us combined. This could very well be the cure to his illness that we'd been waiting for.

But the girl didn't stop when she reached Hige, and I could only yelp in surprise as she fell to her knees in front of me and threw her arms around my neck, burying her face in my fur.

I blinked in confusion, meeting Hige's shocked gaze over the girl's shoulder. "Um, Blue?" I tested the name out, just to see if she remembered. "Are you okay?"

The girl pulled away, her bright blue eyes wide with happiness, sadness, anger, and urgency. "What?" She said, tilting her head in a manner I found both foreign and familiar. "Don't you recognize me, Toboe? It's me, Snow."

* * *

><p><em>A.N. <em>Okay, I _promise _this will be the last cliffhanger of this story (let's see how long that'll last.) I think I kept Blue's identity a secret long enough. Did anyone see that coming? I know most you thought it was Airi. Thanks to everyone that reviewed!


	21. Awake and Alive

_**Chapter 20: Awake and Alive**_

* * *

><p>I wasn't really sure what to make of what I'd just been told. Rather, it was what I had figured out on my own that left me speechless, with a little help from Cheza's soothing voice and a pair of piercing blue eyes.<p>

Snow – Blue – kept talking, rambling on and on about her ordeal with Cheza turning her human as if nothing had changed, while in reality, _everything_ had changed.

She wasn't who she thought she was, who _I _thought she was. All this time, my cat had been the reincarnation of a wolf I'd known a long time ago. It didn't make sense to me, much like a lot of things I'd been forced to acknowledge lately, but for some odd reason, this was by far the hardest news to swallow.

Hige was motionless behind Blue, now in his human form as Cheza said something to him in a soft voice, though her eyes were trained intently on my face. I, however, was paying them no mind.

"I don't know what's going on." Blue whispered, eyes flickering to and fro like she was afraid to look at me too directly. "Cheza picked me up and kissed my nose and… it hurt so much, Toboe, I didn't know what was going on!"

I said nothing. After all, what could I say? It was obvious she wasn't handling the "being a different species" thing very well. What would she do if she knew she was really a wolf underneath her human skin or her white feline disguise?

And even if I wanted to comfort her, I didn't know how. In this odd, twisted version of reality, I was now an animal while she was human. Nothing about our situation was familiar and comforting, and I wanted no part of it. I'd already given up so much to do this, both for the world and for myself, but Snow hadn't been something I was willing to relinquish my hold on.

I supposed she was still with me, but the only thing familiar about the trembling girl before me were her eyes. But even they looked unfamiliar, tainted with fear and uncertainty, something I'd never seen in Snow's eyes before. She'd always been the calm face in the wake of my worries, a solid thing to grasp on to.

Now she was just as frazzled as I was, a stranger to a body she didn't know how to control. She'd run over here easily enough, but I'd seen the uncertainty in her movements, the shaking in her long legs as she struggled to stand on two instead of four. Her transformation was different from mine, yet the same in all the important ways.

"Tell her to change me back." Blue begged me, hands tightening in the fur around my neck as she fought the urge to throw her arms around me once more. She sensed something was off about me. She knew me well enough to tell when something was wrong. "She wouldn't listen to me when I tried."

Still, I said nothing. The blue-eyed girl in front of me looked to be on the verge of a breakdown, the darkened orbs misting over slightly as tears threatened to fall down her face. I wondered how she was processing it. She'd never experienced how it had felt to cry before, although she had seen me in the act hundreds of times in the past year or so.

My next actions weren't really my own, yet I had no qualms with them whatsoever. I had no strength to keep fighting, still in an exhausted haze from all the energy I'd wasted just today from hunting earlier in the day, running from Sasha, and ultimately getting shot and nearly killed.

When I reached up with my hand, it was really a _hand _once more, five long bones covered in pale skin that I hadn't even known had returned. Blue looked startled as well, not expecting my sudden shift from wolf to boy, glassy eyes fixed warily on my hand as it moved closer to her face slowly.

My fingers threaded themselves through her bangs, pushing them off her forehead so I could get a better look at her eyes. She closed them, however, leaning forward into my palm and clutching at my wrist with small, warm hands, a small noise escaping the back of her throat. The sound pulled at my heart, and even if this girl wasn't the white cat I'd once called my best friend, I couldn't stand the sorrow she was displaying.

"You'll be okay." I said, and my voice cracked on the last word, though I had no urge to blame it on puberty that time.

Blue's face contorted, her grip on my wrist tightening before she opened her eyes once more, fixing me with a penetrating gaze that belonged solely to Snow. And I relaxed, because my friend was still in there somewhere. She knew nothing of her past life, at least not yet.

"Cheza, what's going on?" Hige's voice infiltrated my thoughts, and I pulled my hand away from Blue gently, not wanting to hurt her anymore than her transformation already had. Her eyes hardened slightly as her hair fell back into place in front of her eyes, and while she let me retract my hand, she refused to release her hold on me. "How did you – Did you know she was Blue all along?"

"My name is Snow, you moron." Blue snapped, turning to glare at him over her shoulder.

I tugged my arm back slightly, not to get her to let go but to tell her to stop before she did irreversible damage. She had no idea the power she held over the wolf she was snapping at. I couldn't help but wonder why Cheza hadn't sent Blue to Paradise to get her memories back as well. It would've saved Hige a lot of heartache. It would've also saved me the pain of spending more time with Snow only to have her ripped away from me once again.

"This One knew." Cheza confirmed Hige's suspicions. "You heard This One's voice on the day you met Toboe, did you not?"

It took Blue a moment to realize Cheza was now speaking to her. "You mean… that was you? But I – " She broke off, a deep frown pulling at her lips. How far back could she remember? She had been fairly young when I'd found her. "No wonder your voice sounded so familiar when I first saw you at the hotel. "

Cheza nodded, looking quite pleased with herself. I shared a glance with Hige, and I could see how deeply distressed he was by this entire thing. I was, too, but not for the same reasons as him, I assumed.

It was then that I heard movement from behind me, and Blue tensed, teeth bearing as she released a lethal hiss that died away when she realized who it was that had shown up.

"Hige, Toboe, why did you run off like tha – " Tsume demanded, but fell silent when he noticed the extra human in the clearing. "Who's that?"

Kiba didn't look as surprised as Tsume did, and just from his posture alone, I knew that Kiba recognized the girl that was keeping a death-grip on my arm. "Blue?" He asked slowly.

"Snow." She replied fiercely, eyes narrowing to dangerous slits.

I threw them a helpless look that only Tsume saw, because Kiba was otherwise preoccupied with Hige. He was trying to determine his state of mind just like I was. But so far, Hige hadn't done anything aside from asking the occasional question.

"She was reborn as a cat?" Tsume asked incredulously, dropping the bag Quent gave him at his feet. They'd followed us up here instead of going to find our new van first. "Is that even possible?"

"It's not heard of." Kiba said, face carefully guarded as he moved his attention back to Blue, satisfied enough with Hige's current state to look elsewhere. "But anything's possible, I guess. We'll have to contact Dante to ask."

"Joy." Hige muttered. "Because we all know how helpful _he_ is."

"He did give us a new car." I said, no longer looking at Blue, because I didn't know what to say to her. My shoulder was starting to throb, and I wasn't really in the right mind to deal with any of this right now. "That has to count for something, right?"

"I suppose." Kiba said, shifting his gaze to me. "Here, Toboe, Quent left this in his bag." He leaned down to dig through the bag Tsume had dropped, pulling out a blue material that I recognized as an arm sling. "He said to wear it when you're human."

"Do I have to?" I sighed as Kiba approached to help me put it on. "It's just my shoulder that's hurt, not my entire arm."

"You want it to get better, don't you?" Blue asked, watching Kiba warily as he helped me maneuver my arm into the inconvenient sling. I refused to acknowledge that I recognized that look. I'd seen it on Snow plenty of times.

"I guess." I mumbled as Kiba stepped away, pleased with his work. My arm felt more uncomfortable than before, if that was even possible.

"Well, now that that's settled – " Kiba began, but Blue interrupted him.

"Hold up." She snapped, releasing my hand and getting to her feet, crossing her arms over her chest as she glared up at the blue-eyed wolf. "I want to be turned back _now_. I don't know why Cheza made me human, but I don't like it."

Kiba held her gaze evenly. "I understand that it's a huge transition for you."

Blue snorted, rolling her eyes. "Yeah, no kidding. Now how do I get back to normal?"

"You can not 'get back to normal'." Cheza answered for Kiba. "At least not for a while. You have to be in tune with yourself."

"What does that mean? I _am_ in tune with myself."

"Snow, you know how Toboe is really a wolf?" Kiba asked, and she nodded. "Well, to put it simply, so are you. We were all born in a world very different from this one. We all knew each other before, and we tried to save the world from dying, so to speak. We succeeded, and we all died in the process, but we were reborn for a new purpose. You're our friend Blue, but for some reason, you were born as a cat in this life."

I stifled a snort, because that was an extremely watered-down version of the entire story. When they'd told me, it took a good portion of the night to explain everything. But unlike with Blue, they'd told me about my past before Cheza had transformed me. Blue went in blind, and all I felt at this point was an exhausted sympathy.

Blue stared at Kiba hard, her body unmoving. "Is this some kind of sick joke?" She asked dryly, and jerking her thumb back at Hige, she added, "Did the jokester back there put you up to this?"

Hige opened his mouth to protest, maybe, but Blue held up a hand, stopping him. "Don't say a word." She growled. "You're lucky I haven't slapped you yet. I still haven't forgotten when you threw me in the dumpster when I first met you. The scent clung to my fur for days."

I spared a curious glance at Hige to see his reaction. I remembered how I'd found Snow in the dumpster outside their apartment when she'd chased Hige through the city. He looked kind of sheepish when he met my gaze, but at least he was feeling okay enough to be anything but sad.

"Look," Kiba said with a small sigh, and I realized then how exhausted they all must have been. "I know it's hard to accept, but it's the truth. Just think it over, and we'll talk again in the morning. For now, let's get some sleep while we can. We have to get up in three or four hours so we can leave the city undetected."

Blue didn't protest, though I could see how upset and riled she still was. I wanted to say something, anything, to make her feel better, but I was barely able to keep my eyes open. Anything I could've said probably wouldn't help while I was this tired.

I fell down onto my back with a groan, throwing my uninjured arm over my eyes, maybe in some kind of attempt to block out the reality of the situation. I didn't want to think that the pretty girl standing above me was my pet.

I heard everyone settle down to sleep around me, and I was acutely aware of Blue's every move. I sensed her hesitation as she settled on the ground beside me, observing me with blue eyes that I could just picture in my head. If only for a moment, I imagined her as the white feline I'd found in the box on Main Street last summer, but that made everything all the more painful.

I fell asleep with the knowledge that she was close beside me, so close that the warmth from her body helped lull me to unconsciousness, but the distance between us had never felt so vast.

* * *

><p>When I woke up, the pain in my arm had worsened to the point that I could hardly move it. I grumbled sleepily in annoyance, not quite remembering why my arm hurt so much, but silenced myself almost immediately when I noticed that Blue was missing.<p>

She'd fallen asleep as close to me as I would allow, still not comfortable around her simply because she was now a human girl, not a cat. It wasn't exactly proper and made me feel awkward, almost as if I were betraying Hige by being so close to the girl he'd once loved and probably still did.

I pushed myself into a sitting position slowly, being careful not to jostle my arm in its sling, and looked around the clearing. Tsume, Kiba, and Hige were still sleeping soundly across from me, Cheza curled up with her head on Kiba's side, smiling slightly in her sleep. I watched the four of them for a few moments, blinking the sleep out of my eyes, before standing up and silently moving away, following Blue's scent.

It was strange, tracking a scent so efficiently while I was a human, even though I'd always had an exceptional sense of smell. My time as a wolf had only strengthened it, and I was as giddy as I could possibly be for a person that was still half-asleep, because I had all the aspects of a wolf even when I was a human. I was improving, and I couldn't help but feel proud of everything I'd accomplished.

When I found Blue, I was thankful she wasn't hauled up in a tree somewhere, which was what she'd usually done whenever something upset her when she was Snow. She was sitting on the edge of a cliff that fell away into dense forest below that seemed to stretch for miles, observing the fireflies that danced to and fro across the air in front of her.

I knew she heard my approach, yet she didn't turn. Once I was settled on the ground beside her, our legs dangling over the edge of the cliff, it was still quite some time before she dared open her mouth.

"How do you do it?"

I turned to regard her curiously, not liking the frown that was present on her face. If this was what came with Blue being a human, I wasn't sure I liked it. "What do you mean?"

"Being a human." She elaborated, lifting up one, tanned hand to inspect it critically, eyes filled with distaste. "You don't have claws to protect yourself. Your hearing is terrible. My body is so bulky I keep running into things."

I laughed, wincing as the action jostled my injured shoulder. "You'll get used to it. Being a human isn't all bad. Once you get more in tune with it, your hearing will come back and you'll be just as lithe as you were when you were a cat."

"I don't want to get used to it." Blue bit out, the hand that was still held up in the air lazily clenching into a tight fist. "I don't know what Cheza was thinking when she turned me into this… thing! I want my old body back, and I want it _now_."

I stayed silent for a moment, kicking my legs through the air slowly. "Being a different species isn't as terrible as you make it seem, Blue."

She tensed beside me, letting her hand fall limply to her side. "Why do you keep doing that?" Her voice was little above a whisper, but I could hear the frustration present in her tone. "You named me Snow, you know."

"I know." I replied, my throat tightening painfully. "But that was before – before I knew who you were."

"Tell me then!" Blue exploded, turning her head to look at me with sapphire eyes filled with anger. I'd never seen that look directed at me before. "Tell me who I am, because you sure as hell aren't treating me like I'm Snow anymore."

I looked away from the seething girl in front of me, unable to look her in the eyes. She really didn't understand what had happened to us, did she? She'd been so upset earlier that she'd practically ignored Kiba when he'd tried to explain it. Her denial was justified and completely reasonable to me, because I'd been through it before. Not knowing who you were was the worst possible thing that could ever happen to a person, in my opinion.

"You're Blue Yaiden." I said softly. "You were born a wolf-dog in your first life and served your master Quent Yaiden faithfully until the day you died."

"You really buy into that?" She demanded. "Being the reincarnation of a wolf who lived a long time ago isn't something I'm inclined to believe, Toboe. I'm surprised you do. You're always so skeptical."

"I know." I said again. "I was just as scared as you are, believe me, and I didn't know what to think when Kiba and the others first told me, but – " I paused, lifting my gaze to the moon. "I _remember _things from before. If it weren't for those few memories, I wouldn't be as inclined to believe that I had a whole different life before."

And as time went on, the divide that had always separated me from my past self was starting to deteriorate. The Toboe I'd met in Paradise wasn't so different from me at all. If anything, I just wasn't as innocent as I'd once been.

But that wasn't a bad thing. Toboe had even said so himself. I was older and wiser than before, far more educated in the ways of the world and how _draining _it could be, but I still saw the good in people. I was unwilling to accept that everyone was purely bad.

Every criminal had been a light-hearted child once. Every depressed individual had once braved everyday with a smile. I even knew that my father, the man who I'd never met that had left my mom alone and my sister so broken, had loved us at one point. I didn't know why he'd left, but I could only tell myself that it had been for a good reason. I refused to believe that a man would leave his loved ones so willingly.

I flinched when I felt a pressure on my cheek, and turned, watching Blue's expression as she brushed a tear from my face. "I hate it when you cry." She said softly, the pad on her thumb brushing over my cheekbone lightly. "I can never help you."

I shook my head slowly, not wanting her to pull her hand away just yet. Her tanned skin was surprisingly soft and warm, much like a newborn baby's. I supposed that was adequate enough, considering her body was just as new as any baby's.

"You have no idea." I murmured, offering her a small smile. "How do you think I managed to stay sane all this time?"

Blue didn't look convinced. "You've only known me for less than a year."

"You know that's not true." I couldn't help but say it aloud. The whole point of following Blue out here was to help her accept who she really was, right?

I didn't move as she jerked her hand away, looking so wounded that I almost regretted saying anything at all. "Toboe, I'm not her. I – I'm _not _Blue." She bit out. "Maybe I was, once, if what you all are saying is true, but I don't remember like you do. All I know is you, how you laugh, how you walk, how you talk, _everything_. But I feel like I don't know you at all when you say _her_ name whenever you look at me."

"What do you want me to do?" I needed her to tell me if she wanted me to help her. It was obvious I was only upsetting her more, and that wasn't my intention. She might not have been exactly who I thought she was, but she was still important to me in any shape or form. I was willing to do whatever it took to help her come to terms with herself.

"Don't do anything!" I recoiled slightly as she leaned closer, blue eyes burning with intensity. She was clutching my wrist now, her grip so tight I was certain I'd have a bruise come morning. But it would disappear within a few hours either way, so I didn't try to escape her fierce grip. "Don't change a thing. Treat me like your best friend again, and _please_, whatever you do, do _not_ call me Blue. My name is Snow Asher, and it always will be."

My throat felt impossibly tight, much like her grip on my wrist, and for a few moments I didn't know what to say. I wanted her to be Snow Asher more than anything, but that just wasn't the truth anymore.

She was Blue Yaiden, a wolf dog that for some reason had been reborn as a cat instead of a human like me, or a wolf like Kiba, Hige, and Tsume, and sooner or later, whenever she got her memory back, she was going to want to be Blue again.

I wanted to cut off all ties between my old pet and me now before it became too painful to bear farther down the road. But the pleading look in Blue's eyes was almost too much for me to handle, and I knew that all hopes I'd had of making her come to terms with her past had been in vain, because for now, the blue-eyed girl before me wasn't going to listen, and I had no desire to make her.

"Alright." I said eventually, my voice trembling with unshed tears. "I know you're Snow. I – I know."

And she let out a noise akin to a purr before releasing her hold on my wrist, instead wrapping her arms around my neck in a painful hug.

"Thank you." She breathed, and I had to bite my lip to keep from sobbing, because this whole thing was so _frustrating_. I was going to have to let go eventually, and she just kept making it harder. "Now stop crying. Mom would never forgive me if she knew I was allowing you to be so upset."

I forced out a laugh, pulling away to fix Blue – _Snow_ – with a curious look. "You call her Mom, too?"

She nodded, smiling so sweetly I thought I might be sick. "Of course. She's been like a mother to me all this time. She used to yell at Kato whenever he was a jerk to me, you know. I think she views me as a second daughter, and that's why Airi hates me so much."

"She doesn't _hate _you. She's just… inept when it comes to expressing herself."

"She locked me in the laundry room while you were at school!"

I couldn't resist laughing, which earned me a small shove from the feline-turned-human, because I'd always known that Airi had been the one to do that, even if she'd never confessed to it directly.

Snow watched me curiously, her head tilted to the side as a large grin took purchase on her face. "You know, if one good thing has come from all of this, it's the fact that I can actually talk to you now, whether I'm human or not."

"Preferably not." I couldn't help but say. "I can't hold you like I used to when you're like this."

"Who says you can't?" Snow asked, arching a dark eyebrow suggestively. She laughed as my face heated up, adding, "You're still as girl-challenged as always, I see."

I sputtered indignantly as she continued to roar with laughter, holding her sides as if she thought they'd burst from the force. "Okay, not funny!" She giggled as I started to get up, grabbing my arm and tugging me back down to the ground. "I'm sorry, you're just so fun to tease."

"Yeah, I think I liked you better when you couldn't talk."

"Oh, please," she quipped with a roll of her eyes, "I've always been talking to you, you just couldn't understand me. I was complaining to you all day when Airi locked me in the laundry room, and you never told me to shut up once. Hiro on the other hand – "

She needn't say more, because I remembered that day probably as clearly as she did. But instead of feeling angry, I only felt sad. She seemed to notice, too, because all humor drained from her face, and she was just as serious as she'd been when I found her up here in an instant. "What's the matter?"

"I miss them." I said truthfully. "Even if they weren't exactly nice one hundred percent of the time, I still miss having them around."

Snow nodded, looking down at her hands. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss them, too. Airi especially. She sort of… I don't know. She changed when you left, Toboe. They all did."

This was news to me. "What do you mean?"

"Well, that first day when Mr. Yaiden came to the house," she began, no recollection in her voice as she spoke of her previous master, "she came into your room to look for a picture to give him. She grabbed a good one of us, one I was really fond of, and I hissed at her. She just sort of snapped and yelled at me that you were never coming back and – "

She trailed off briefly, a frown appearing on her face once more. "I felt bad, so I went down to her room to… I don't know, apologize in any way I knew how. I almost didn't go in, because she'd thrown a bottle of perfume at the wall, and it smelled so terrible in there. She was so upset, Toboe, you have no idea. I stayed with her, because you always seemed to calm down if you were upset whenever I was around, and she fell asleep. Up until the day I left to find you, she and I were never far apart."

This revelation had my mind reeling. Airi was never one to express how she felt. I could only blame her behavior on our father's departure and her dormant wolf instincts, but I still hated the idea that she had suffered from my absence. I hated the idea that any of my family members had suffered.

"And Kato and Hiro." Snow continued. "They were a sight for sore eyes, too. Kato was hardly ever away from Mom, and Hiro locked himself in his room for days on end. He was still sulking when I left, so I don't know if he got better. I felt so sorry for them all. Hiro blamed himself for your leaving. He thought it was because of what happened that night at the party."

"That is kind of why I left." I said quietly. "But not really. He shouldn't… it wasn't his fault."

Snow didn't say anything, which told me that she believed otherwise, but I didn't mind. My siblings didn't need to feel any guilt when it came to me. I wanted them to be happy knowing that I was all right and that I'd come home eventually, or at least I hoped I would. I desperately wanted them to know how much I missed them.

"I can only imagine how much worse they've gotten, though." Snow said with a small sigh.

"What do you mean?"

"When we thought you were… dead," Snow began thickly, "Tsume got his cell phone out and called Kiba's brother and told him that you'd died. Dante said that Airi was working for him, and that he would inform her as soon as possible."

I froze. Tsume had – Dante was going to –

"They think I'm dead?" I whispered.

"If Dante told Airi, then yes." Snow replied grimly.

I hadn't had any legitimate excuses to feel angry lately, but this was certainly as good a time as any to lose my temper. I was angry with Tsume for calling so soon after my supposed death, angry with Dante for daring to tell my sister something so devastating, and angry with myself for even allowing them to think I was anything but alive.

What must Airi be thinking, if Dante had indeed already told her? She'd already lost one family member, and everyone knew what that had done to her. I didn't even want to think about what would happen if she ended up telling the rest of our family.

Turning back to Snow, I said, "Do you know where Tsume keeps his cell phone?"

* * *

><p>If there was one thing that pissed Airi off more than anything, it was being woken up out of her sleep by her damn phone. She most certainly wasn't a morning person, and she most definitely considered twelve at night "morning."<p>

It was bad enough she'd been told that her baby brother had died that day, and when she went over to Olivia's house, she was so distraught that they'd hardly done anything but sit in her room and watch old movies that would make anyone cry, just so she could have an excuse to be a wimp.

She hadn't told Olivia about her brother, or the fact that she was a wolf. Her friend probably would've accused her of being high, anyway.

When the ringing of her cell phone woke her up, she laid still for a few moments, eyes still puffy and irritatingly crusty after all the hours she'd spent crying only a few hours before.

Olivia shifted in the bed beside her, mumbling something about alarm clocks in her sleep, and Airi reached blindly into the dark to grab the annoying piece of technology to tell whoever was calling to piss off before going back to bed. After all, tomorrow was already looking to be an eventful and stressful day. How did one break the news to their family that the precious baby had died? Airi sure as hell didn't know.

"If I don't know you, go fuck yourself. If I do, then someone better be dead if you're calling me at this hour." She grumbled sleepily into the phone, throwing her unoccupied arm across her face when she realized how close to home her second statement had hit.

"I'm calling because someone didn't die, Airi."

And Airi was certain she was still asleep, because the voice on the other end of the line was that of her deceased brother. Maybe she was finally losing her mind after all the stress she'd been under the past few weeks. That being said, she stayed silent for a few moments, feeling her eyelashes brush the skin on her forearm as she blinked rapidly, trying to wake herself up.

"If this is a dream – " She said into the dark.

She sat up in the bed as the voice laughed, and her heart stuttered when she realized she was indeed awake. It sounded forced and wet with tears, but that was fine with Airi, because if Toboe was laughing, it meant he was alive. "I promise you aren't dreaming."

"Toboe." She gasped, throwing a hand over her mouth as she glanced down at Olivia, who barely even flinched. "Toboe, you – what are – I thought – "

"Yeah, I know." He said slowly, sounding every bit as upset as Airi had been earlier. "Snow told me that Dante said… well, that I'd died. Everyone thought so, so don't feel too bad for falling for it."

Airi ignored the fact that Toboe said Snow had told him anything. "Oh, my God." She moaned, squeezing her eyes shut as a fresh wave of tears threatened to spill from her eyes. "Toboe, you're going to be the death of me. You have no idea how I – You need to come home."

Airi heard him sigh. "Airi, you know I can't."

"I don't know anything, and neither do you." She whispered fiercely, getting out of the bed to slip out of Olivia's room before she woke her friend up. "If you're getting shot at, then of course you should come home. I don't know what we would do if you died for real, Toboe."

There was silence on the other end as Airi shuffled down the stairs of her friend's house, moving through the darkened halls silently on her way to the back porch. It was a nice night out for a change, not a rain cloud in sight, and Airi settled herself on the porch swing to continue to talk with her brother.

It was such a relief just to hear his voice after weeks of not knowing how he was doing. He sounded fine. Upset and tired, sure, but fine.

"Dante told you about what I am, right?" He said eventually, voice hesitant and small. "What we are?"

Airi took a deep breath before nodding, even if he couldn't see it. "Yeah. He said that we're wolves."

Toboe didn't say anything in reply, and Airi slowly began to realize just what was probably running through his head. "Toboe, I don't give two shits if you're a wolf or not." She said fiercely. "You're still my brother, and I don't love you any less because of it. You don't owe those people at the WRA anything. So what if you tried to save the world before? You obviously succeeded, otherwise we wouldn't be here. Let someone else risk their lives this time. You've paid your debt to the world."

There was a long stretch of silence, during which Airi thought she heard a girl's voice sounding from wherever it was Toboe was calling her from, but then Toboe spoke. "I can't remember the last time I heard you say you loved me."

Airi closed her eyes, leaning forward on her elbows as she sat there in the dark, struggling to keep this conversation from going in a bad direction. Almost losing Toboe had really opened her eyes to how she'd been treating him all these years, and she really didn't want to think that if Toboe were to really die, he would be saying things like that about her.

"Well, I love you." She rasped. "And you're not allowed to die. So, if you won't come home now then just… survive until you can."

"I don't know if I'll ever come back, Airi."

"I know, baby brother. Don't come back if you don't want to. I'll try to keep the police off your tail." The task seemed impossible, even to her. "But at least call every now and then. Just do it at a more presentable hour, please."

Toboe laughed again, and this time, Airi smiled, because it sounded so genuine, just like the boy she remembered. "I promise, Airi. Oh, Snow says hi."

Airi blinked. "Snow? You mean, she really found you?"

"He found me, actually." The female voice sounded again, and Airi stared at her phone incredulously. "Hi, Airi. Just know that I miss you probably as much as you miss me."

"Toboe, who was that?"

"Um, it was Snow." Her brother said. "She's human now. It's kind of complicated, and I'd rather not try to explain it now. Listen, Airi, I have to go. The others are waking up, and they'll be pretty upset if they find out I called home again. I just wanted you to know that I wasn't dead."

"Well, I appreciate the notice." She replied, starting to feel like this was a dream once more. She was a wolf, Toboe was a wolf and alive, and Snow was now human. This day just kept getting better and better. "Stay safe, don't die, and save the world, okay?"

She could almost picture his smile in her head. "Oh, I will. Goodnight, Airi. I – I love you."

"Love you, too, Toboe." She replied, and the call ended almost as soon as it had begun.

She kept the device pressed to her ear for quite some time afterward, still unable to believe what had just happened. All those tears seemed wasted now that she knew her brother was alive, but she didn't regret _feeling _something.

If anything, she viewed his almost death as a blessing in disguise, even if she couldn't fully fathom just how much the whole thing had really changed her in the long run.

And somewhere in the back of her mind, Airi couldn't wait to go to work tomorrow, if only to rub it in Dante's face that he'd been wrong about something, as well as knee him in the groin for making her so upset in the first place.

Airi fell asleep on the porch swing with her phone still pressed to her ear and a smile plastered on her face.

* * *

><p><em>A.N.<em> Thanks to all who have reviewed and followed this story since it's early beginnings, and everyone else that joined along the way. Your input means so much, you have no idea.


	22. Extraordinary Girl

_**Chapter 21: Extraordinary Girl**_

* * *

><p>"This is ridiculous!"<p>

"Says you! You may be comfortable with these stupid things, but _I'm_ not. The last time I was in a car, I almost _died_, thank you very much."

"I assure you that my driving is far better than what you might have experienced."

"Are you calling Toboe a bad driver?"

Embarrassment was such a trivial emotion, but like everyone else on the planet, I was not immune to it. With a glare in Snow's direction, I paused in my work of trying to maneuver the bracelets Mrs. Pennon had given me from my box and onto my undamaged wrist.

I'd woken up only half an hour ago with an intense urge to have them on my person, and the task was proving to be rather difficult with only one arm at my disposal.

Hige snorted from inside the van, leaning over the back of his seat to look at me through the open trunk, a smirk on his face. "You're a bad driver, huh?"

I stuck out my tongue, raising my right arm above my head in a last attempt at getting the bracelets to slide into place. They did, much to my relief, and I reached up higher to grip the top of the trunk. "She's being over dramatic. I didn't see a stop sign, and I _almost _got t-boned by another car at the intersection."

I slammed the trunk shut, muffling the sound of Hige's laughter somewhat, but I couldn't find it in me to be angry. He'd been surprisingly chipper upon waking up earlier, much more enthusiastic about moving about at three in the morning than the rest of us. While I envied his energy and couldn't help but feel relieved that he had it, I also wondered what had caused it.

Sure, Blue was back, in the form of my once feline companion, but even I had to admit that she was being far from pleasant. Her giggly attitude that had appeared a few hours earlier when I'd promised to treat her no differently had vanished, and she was once again irritable and snappish.

I knew she was still upset about her forced transformation, and the fact that we'd been up in the wee hours of the morning talking to each other and my sister wasn't helping either. Hige probably considered himself lucky that her anger was currently directed at Tsume and not him.

"Look," the golden-eyed man said with an exasperated sigh as he glared at the seething girl before him, "nothing bad is going to happen, alright? Just _get in the van _so we can leave as soon as Kiba and Cheza come back."

The white wolf and the Flower Maiden were still in the trees surrounding the park, waiting for Cheza to absorb the rest of the moon's light to keep her healthy for the long car ride ahead of us. I hoped they would return soon, because being out in the open like this, even if it was only three-thirty in the morning, was putting me on edge. Those men with the serum meant for my euthanization could've been anywhere.

Snow cocked a hip, crossing her arms over her chest as she glanced up at the moon, pretending to look thoughtful. "Suppose I refuse?"

Tsume growled, looking so angry for a moment that I thought the two of them were going to end up in a physical brawl, canine against feline, but instead he threw his hands up and turned away from her, walking around the other side of the van. "I'm done. Toboe, control your demon cat, please."

Snow sniffed haughtily, lifting her chin as she spun around to face me, grinning in an apologetic manner when she saw the exhausted annoyance that was probably present on my face.

"Sorry." She said with a shrug of her shoulders, grabbing her discarded black jacket from the ground to pull it back over her body. She'd taken it off earlier, complaining that it only added extra weight to her already heavy body. But the cold of the night had gotten to her just as I knew it would, and the goose bumps were probably too much for her to bear just yet. "He's fun to hassle."

"Did you take lessons in the ways of a smart-ass from Kato while I was gone?" I teased, opening the door closest to me in preparation to enter the van, with or without her. I knew she'd follow my lead if given the chance.

"Ha!" She scoffed, tossing her head to remove the hair from her eyes. Already she was starting to act more human than feline. I wasn't sure if that was a bad thing or not. "Nope, this is one hundred percent natural. If you'd been able to understand me all these months, you would know that."

"Duly noted." I began to climb into the van, taking Tsume's annoyed expression into account as well as Hige's amused one.

His behavior was really starting to get to me, and I wanted to get him alone for a few moments, or at least away from Snow, and figure out just what he thought about all of this. I knew how he should've been acting – sullen and glassy-eyed as he fought through different memories that involved the blue-eyed wolf he'd once loved – but for some reason that wasn't the case.

Shaking my head slightly and turning back to Snow, who hadn't moved and was looking rather weary, I said, "Oh, come on, Snowball. I promise that Tsume won't get us killed."

The girl jolted at my words, hands worrying at the hem of her skirt. I smirked at the look she sent my way, fully aware of how much she loathed the nickname. My siblings had called her that since the day I brought her home, though I only said it in jest. The first time I'd said it, she'd hissed at me and hadn't let me touch her for a few hours or so without trying to claw me.

As I thought back on it, I realized just how blind I'd been to this entire thing. Snow had always acted a little bit too human. She'd understood me, not just because she was smart, but because she'd been both a human and a wolf once before. Why couldn't she see that?

"Okay, fine." She grumbled, releasing the black fabric and stomping toward the car, placing a hand on my chest to push me back into the car gently. "Get in the pedo-van, you oaf."

"See." Hige said to Tsume, nudging his shoulder a bit from his seat behind him. "I'm not the only one that thinks this thing isn't as inconspicuous as Dante would like."

"Maybe it's just 'cause I'm a girl." Snow offered as the two of us climbed into the back seats. Kiba would most likely sit in the passenger seat with Tsume, and I didn't know how productive it would be to have Snow sit with Hige, or in the back with Cheza, seeing as both of them had irked her in some way or another, so I was going to keep her close for now. "And an attractive one at that. The next thing I know you'll be offering me candy, right, Hige?"

I saw the smile that was threatening to take control of Hige's features, and I was more thankful than I could ever remember being that Snow was being somewhat civil now.

"Your sense of humor is pretty human-esque for a cat." Tsume commented from the driver's seat, turning the keys in the ignition to get the heater going.

Snow's eyes closed as a blast of cool air came at her from the vents, and she turned into it, waiting for it to turn warm. "Yeah, well, you pick up a thing or two when you live with three of the most indecent human beings in the history of the world." She hummed in response. "Even I succumbed to the crude humor and sarcasm that plagues most of the Asher siblings."

"I'm assuming Toboe isn't categorized in that 'most'." Hige said as he kicked up his feet to rest them on Tsume's headrest.

The golden-eyed man growled in irritation at the gesture, glaring at Hige through the rear-view mirror. "Are you determined to do that every time you ride in a car?"

"Someone has to break it in." Hige said with a shrug. "Might as well be me, 'cause Toboe's a goody-goody and Snowball back there doesn't know common human gestures yet."

"Is that a challenge?" Snow demanded, sliding down in her seat a bit to lift her legs as well and rest them on the back of Hige's seat, kicking it once for good measure. "How's this for a common human gesture?"

I saw Tsume shake his head humorously from the front seat, and I couldn't help but smile. Maybe my worries were in vain. Things were working themselves out without my intervention. Hige and Snow seemed to be getting along – if you called the constant banter and teasing getting along – and we were once again on the move to go to… wherever it was where we would save the world again, if we even knew.

I'd heard Tsume and Kiba talking to Cheza about it earlier, if she knew where we were supposed to be going or not. Her response had been puzzling, at least to me anyway.

"This One is waiting for the end to be presented." She'd said to them brightly, twirling in the glow of the full moon.

Cheza usually spoke in riddles, though, so I wouldn't be surprised if we were waiting for something really simple, like the end of the month, the week, or even the day. We never knew with the magenta-eyed girl, and with everything else that I had to think about, I wasn't worrying myself to death over it.

I was pulled from my reverie as the door on the right side of the van slid open and Cheza hopped onto the seat in front of me, startling Hige into dropping his feet back to the ground.

Snow smirked, glancing over at me, her blue eyes shining with mischief. "I win."

"Where we headed?" Tsume asked as Kiba got into the car as well, letting in a good amount of cool air that scent a shivering Snow pressing against my side. I stayed perfectly still as she jostled my injured shoulder, not wanting to make her feel guilty.

I saw Kiba shake his head. "I have no idea." Turning around to look at Cheza imploringly, he said, "Which way should we go, Cheza?"

The Flower Maiden hummed for a few moments, lifting her legs off the ground and rolling her ankles a few times. "That way." She chirped eventually, not even looking up from her lap as she pointed to her right, out her window.

I shared a confused glance with Hige. "That way" was to the west, back in the direction of the woods. I knew from my years spent in geography class that beyond the horizon, more trees and wilderness lay in wait. It stretched on for thousands of miles, not stopping until lush green trees fell away into dry desert, and from there, on to the ocean. Why would Cheza send us that way?

Tsume looked perplexed as well, hands still on the wheel as he waged a mental war with himself. Listen to Cheza or not?

"Is there even a road that leads in that direction?" Hige inquired, leaning forward in his seat a bit.

"I think if we head north, we should hit a road that veers west." Kiba mused, though his words weren't presented with much conviction.

"Yes!" Cheza said eagerly, poking at the fogging glass of her window a few times. "This One agrees. Go north!"

I heard Tsume sigh, and as he started the car, I believed that was the end of the discussion. But things usually never went my way.

"Hold up." Snow said, gripping the edges of Hige's seat tightly as she leaned forward to address them all. "You don't even know where we're going? I'm not sure how I feel about letting you drag me and Toboe into the unknown for who knows how long."

"We're not dragging you anywhere, Princess." Tsume commented dryly, pulling out of the deserted parking lot and driving north, just as Kiba had suggested and Cheza had demanded. "You're here of your own free will."

Snow snorted, taking off her jacket once more and throwing it carelessly over her shoulder and into the trunk. I watched knowing she would probably want that back at some point during our car ride. Human Snow was proving to be an indecisive being.

I sensed another argument on the horizon, so I decided to try my hand at subtly changing the topic before all hell broke loose. "Hey, Cheza, I have a question." I said, continuing when the Flower Maiden nodded eagerly in response. "How come Snow took the form of a sixteen-year-old human girl?"

"Yeah, I was wondering that, too." Hige said. "Like, that whole one year in human years is nine in cat years? If that's really true, shouldn't she be around nine or ten instead of our age?"

"Cat years and dog years don't mix well together." Cheza replied cheekily, and if Snow had fur, I knew it would've been fluffed up in agitation. "When This One turned her human, Snow took the age of the person she was closest to. That was her vision of a human, so that is what she is."

Snow and I shared a discreet smile. I was glad she was around my age when she was human. It made it all the easier to talk to her.

"How romantic." Hige sighed dramatically, placing a hand over his heart.

I coughed awkwardly while Tsume and Kiba shared a glance in the front seat. Snow, however, was unfazed, glowering at Hige as if he'd just stepped on her tail.

No one dared to talk after that, and the silence stretched on for a good twenty minutes at least. My silence came solely from the fact that now I was seriously worried about Hige. I knew this was how he'd acted before, back in our first life, but sadly, the Hige of this day and age wasn't like that anymore and probably never would be again. Something was definitely up if he was completely unfazed by Blue's sudden appearance and her close relation to me.

"I'm tired." Snow said suddenly, leaning her head against her chair as she let out a yawn that ended with a small squeak.

"Then sleep."

"Gee, why didn't I think of that?" She scoffed, throwing me an amused glance.

"I don't know, why didn't you?"

She fell silent for a few moments, and I figured she was asleep. We had been up practically all day and most of the night. After everything she'd been through, she deserved a nice rest. "Remember when I was a kitten and you used to let me sleep in your lap?"

I blinked once in confusion at her statement, not exactly sure why she'd brought that up, but realization hit me just as the blush started to settle in my cheeks. When I glanced over at her, her eyes were closed, though she was far from relaxed, obviously awaiting my answer.

Sparing a fleeting glance at Hige, who seemed otherwise preoccupied with fighting over Tsume about what radio station to listen to, I reached over to grab Snow's fisted hand, tugging on it gently. Her eyes opened instantly, and without any further coaxing, she pulled her legs up off the floor and laid down across the seats, laying her head down on my left thigh and hooking her left hand around my leg.

I really didn't have a problem with the position – if I ignored the fact she was no longer an animal but a _human girl_ – and I could only watch in fascination as she sighed heavily, eyes sliding shut as sleep began to pull at her senses.

I supposed, in a way, nothing had changed, aside from the obvious. If Snow wasn't embarrassed, I saw no reason for me to be.

_I promised her nothing would change. _I thought as I unlatched the Velcro that held the straps to my sling in place, shrugging the obnoxious contraption off my arm carefully. Then I began to run my fingers gently through Snow's dark hair. I forced back a smile, proud of myself for keeping my promise. Snow never fell asleep in my lap unless I was petting her. She let out a low purr that sounded absurd coming from her human throat, but it eventually died away as sleep finally claimed her.

"Toboe, you dirty thing. You led us to believe you were inept when it came to girls."

I jumped slightly, looking up with wide eyes as Hige spoke. He was turned around in his seat, watching the two of us with a smirk on his face. "Uh – " I started, though I trailed off, unsure of how to finish. Then I remembered how completely unfazed he was by all this and what I had wanted to say. "Hige, why are you so – "

"Pushy? Annoying? Completely adorable in every possible way?" Hige interrupted me, arching an eyebrow in question.

"I think he means to ask why you're acting so chipper." Kiba said, looking at us through the rear-view mirror. "I have to say I'm curious myself. This is a side of you I haven't seen in a long time."

Hige suddenly looked sheepish, eyes darting to Kiba for a millisecond before going back to me.

"Yeah." I agreed slowly. "I mean, I don't know, shouldn't you be – "

"Wanting to punch you in the face for snuggling with my old girlfriend?" Hige offered. "Oh, believe me, I do." At the look that was probably present on my face, he started to laugh. "I'm just kidding, Toboe, _sheesh_."

I didn't say anything. Was I dreaming?

"So, you gonna tell us why you're acting like you're high?" Tsume grunted.

"Well, I was thinking." Hige said, the smile slipping from his face and a serious sort of frown replacing it. "About what Quent and Sasha were saying, and what Toboe told me. And I just… I got tired of being so unhappy, you know?"

He trailed off, and as I watched a strange sort of horror spreading across Kiba's face, I realized just what Hige had done.

"You – You actually took the medicine?" I whispered.

Now it all made sense. I wondered why Kiba and Hige had been so against it in the first place. Hige was acting so happy for a change. How could this have possibly been a bad thing?

Hige nodded, reaching into his back pocket to pull out the white pill bottle Quent had shown me. He eyed it thoughtfully, looking almost sad for a moment. "I still don't like it. I don't know what's going to happen to me once I start using it again, if I'll become addicted like before. When you guys fell asleep I just took it from the back and popped one without really thinking about it. Anything was better than losing myself to the memories, even becoming an addict."

"What's the dosage?" Kiba demanded, and just like whenever he started to lose his temper, specks of brilliant yellow appeared in his blue eyes. "How much did you take?"

"Ten milligrams." Hige said, tossing the bottle in Kiba's direction so our leader could get a better look at it to appease his troubled mind. "The label said take one everyday, so that's what I'm going to do."

"How much did they have you on before?" I asked.

"Twenty milligrams. Twice a day." Tsume said without taking his eyes off the road. His grip on the wheel had tightened significantly. "I guess they weren't lying when they said they'd lighten the dosage."

"Don't fall asleep any time soon." Kiba said firmly, eyeing the bottle through narrowed eyes. "We don't know what this will do to you. I'm not taking any chances."

Hige rolled his eyes. "Sure, Boss. Whatever you say." Turning back to me and the sleeping girl in my lap, he added, "I realized you were right, Toboe. I do want to feel better, and the medicine's the only thing that will help me."

I was glad Hige was listening to reason, but when I'd told him to take the medicine, I hadn't meant for him to depend on it so heavily. Sure, it would help, but it was really up to Hige and his hard work that would fix him in the long run. But I didn't want to spoil the mood, so I stayed silent.

"Is that why you've been indifferent to Blue?" Tsume asked.

Hige glowered at the older wolf. "I'm not being indifferent. I just – " He paused, eyes softening as he gazed at the sleeping girl on my lap. "I'm just glad that she's alive. Before, I didn't even think she'd been reborn. Even if she doesn't remember me, well… I'm okay with that, as long as she's alive. Though I still can't believe she's been Toboe's cat this whole time."

"Why is that, Cheza?" Kiba inquired. "We've never heard of someone being born as an entirely different species than what they were previously."

"It was her desire." Cheza replied.

"To be a cat?"

"No." Cheza giggled. "To be loved." Silence. I didn't look up from Snow's face, didn't stop running my fingers through her hair. "She desired for a master that accepted her for who she was from the start."

"Oh, Blue." I heard Hige mutter.

_She desired for a master that accepted her for who she was. _Those words rang true, in her old and new life. It brought tears to my eyes, thinking about how desperate she'd been for me treat her as I always had, to accept her. Even if she refused to accept Blue, she acted and thought just like her. She was a wolf somewhere inside, sure, but not completely.

I didn't think she ever would be either, even if she did change into a wolf someday. I'd always see her as that fluffy kitten I'd found in the box. Even now, as I held and gazed at her human form, I saw the feline beneath, the strong-willed female that wasn't going to let anyone change who she was inside, even if her outward appearance shifted through many different forms.

I made a new promise to myself then, one to go along with the covenant I'd already made with her.

"I'm not her master." I murmured, looking up to lock eyes with Hige.

The two of us played very different roles in this girl's life. I believed he still held her heart even if she couldn't recall just what he'd meant to her once upon a time.

I wasn't the boyfriend, even if our current position begged to differ. I was a boy and a friend, as the saying goes, but I was also a brother. Snow loved me, and I loved her, but not to the extent that she and Hige had once shared.

I wasn't just her master, because she wasn't something that could be owned. She wasn't just a cat anymore either. She was so much more than that.

"I'm not her master, but I'll give her what she wanted."

* * *

><p><em>Violent and feral, like a wolf caught in a snare set by a hunter. <em>"Let me go!"

_Trapped and helpless, like a butterfly clipped of its wings._ "I'll call the cops, and they'll arrest your pathetic asses before you even have a chance to howl!"

"This is highly unethical." Brown eyes watched from the tinted window as the girl continued to writhe and snarl, strapped to the hard, metal table in the impossibly white room. He wished she'd stayed away. This wasn't what he'd wanted for her. "Why did you order them to strap her down?"

"She attacked you, sweetheart!" The woman's every movement was reflected in the window as she paced restlessly, hands worrying together at the small of her stomach. "I adore our little Airi girl, truly I do, but what she did this morning was inexcusable."

"So, you told them to Change her?" Dante said dryly, turning to fix his mother with a hard stare that was practically blazing with distaste. "I hardly see the justification in that. She only slapped me, Mother."

It was true, after all. At the time when she normally showed up for work, Airi had come storming into the building in a flurry of black and white. Her employer had hardly gotten two words out before the palm of her hand had made quick work of his tanned skin.

Even now, the red mark was still flaring proudly upon his left cheek, ugly and stained with old and new blood that oozed from four long claw marks. Unlike everyone else who had witnessed the assault, Dante knew that Airi hadn't meant for everything to get so out of hand.

The look of surprise and horror on her face right before they'd dragged her away had given him enough insight to know that the day had finally come.

Airi was Transforming.

Whatever had happened to cause it was still a mystery to all of them, probably even to the sixteen-year-old herself, but even Dante had to admit that the methods with which the doctors were jump starting Airi's Transformation were a bit far-fetched.

Turning back to the window, he watched as Airi continued to thrash against her restraints, her snarled curses broadcast through the speakers in their room. The doctors ignored her as they milled about the room. They were doing nothing productive, of course, simply waiting for the girl to stop her cries, the first sign that signaled the Change.

Dante himself couldn't say he was anticipating her screams. "I don't think she's ready." He stated, rolling up the sleeves of his white dress-shirt slowly.

He'd have to change it sooner rather than later. It was covered in droplets of blood, and the smell would surely stir up trouble with the newer wolves, Airi especially.

This whole situation was a bother. With Toboe gone, Airi's sudden absence from her home would surely cause panic with her family. But new wolves were so unstable. There was no possible way she could be released any time soon.

"It doesn't matter if she's ready or not." Liv said earnestly, coming to stand beside him at the window. It had been a long while since a Transformation had taken place, after all. A lot of doctors and workers were stationed in other observing rooms around the lab. Dante couldn't help but feel annoyed. Airi deserved privacy. He could only hope that she had no idea she was being watched on all sides. "She was Changing when she arrived, dear. We've strapped her down for her safety."

"Funny," Dante said, "you could've fooled me."

Liv placed a hand on his shoulder, which he barely registered. "I know you care for her greatly, but don't let your feelings cloud you from seeing the bigger picture, darling."

Dante clenched his jaw. "I care for her no more than I do Jade or any of the other wolves." Shrugging off his mother's hand, he added, "She hardly ever did her job anyway. She's been a thorn in my side since the day we crossed paths in the plaza." _But this isn't how I wanted her Change to be._

Dante didn't turn from the window as a door opened behind him, leaving Liv to deal with their new visitor. "Well?" Liv demanded, sounding every bit the professional doctor that Dante knew she was. "Did you find out why she's Changing?"

"The girl said she fell asleep under the full moon last night." Dante growled at the words, annoyed with Airi as well as himself. He'd never told her what could jumpstart a Transformation, but what had possessed her to fall asleep outside? She'd never come across as the outdoor type of girl, so he hadn't bothered to mention it. He could've never foreseen this. "Since she was exposed to its rays for more than five hours, we believe that is what's causing this, Dr. Connolly."

"The poor pet." Liv said with a small sigh. "This must be so hard for her. Dante only told her yesterday, after all. Is there any way you could give her sedatives or morphine to lessen the pain?"

"I'm afraid not. She's too far gone as it is. We could always stop the Change and wait for another day."

"Why on earth would we do that?" Liv cried incredulously, and Dante pinched the bridge of his nose, releasing a small sigh.

His opinion on the matter had been the same since Airi had arrived. She wasn't ready for this, but there was no point in stopping it. It would have to be done eventually, and forcing the Change to end could put Airi in an in-between stage, like the werewolves of human folklore, only far less pleasant.

Opening his eyes, Dante observed the scene before him critically. Airi wasn't Changing, and the doctors were starting to get impatient. These particular men were veteran wolves and had next to no tolerance for the new, much more unstable youngsters. The situation was toxic.

"Dante, what are you doing?" Liv asked as her son moved away from the window, towards the door that led into the lab.

"I'm taking control, Mother."

Upon entering the lab, the attitude and atmosphere changed dramatically. Airi fell silent, her face still bright red with rage and her chest heaving dramatically as she fought for breath. The two male doctors nodded to Dante, looking so irritated that the eighteen-year-old couldn't help but feel angry that they weren't handling this situation with extreme care.

"I'll be taking over here, gentleman." He said, holding the door wide open for them to take their leave, which they did, though the action was far too enthusiastic for Dante's liking.

"Thank God." Airi spat as Dante closed the door, pulling at her restraints once more. Her black hair was pulled up into a ponytail, a few strands hanging in her face from her violent attempts to gain her freedom. With her off-white sweatshirt and ripped, acid-washed jeans, eyes filled with rage and hair in shambles, she looked absolutely feral. "Someone who will listen to reason."

Dante snorted, moving further into the room carefully, all too aware that they were being watched on all sides. "You're the one that doesn't listen to reason." He stated, moving around the table to stand over the girl, eyes fixed in a hard stare. "Would you care to tell me what this is all about?"

"Would you care to get these freaking shackles off me?" She challenged, tugging once more. "If this is your way of defiling me, I refuse to play your game."

Dante could just imagine the gasp of indignation from his mother in the other room. "Why should I release you? You assaulted me earlier, if you've already forgotten."

"Oh, boo-hoo." Airi snarled, though Dante saw the flash of regret in her eyes when they landed on the horrific sight of his cheek. "I didn't mean to claw you like that, moron. I was just getting back at you for lying to me."

"And what exactly did I lie to you about?"

"You told me Toboe was dead, and I know for a fact that he's not. He called me last night."

The eighteen-year-old paused, one eyebrow arching as he gazed down at the angry female. "Oh?" _Tsume, you idiot. This is why you should always check for a pulse. _"How do you know that I wasn't the one lied to?"

Airi huffed, banging her head back on the metal table in aggravation. "Okay, fine, whatever. Just get me out of here."

"I can't do that, Airi."

"Why the hell no – "

"You're turning into a wolf." Dante cut her off, watching as Airi's eyes widened in horror. "The shackles are for your own safety."

The silence that met his words seemed to stretch on for hours. Still panting softly under her breath, Airi stared at him through the fringe of her bangs. Slowly, her hands curled into fists. "No." She whispered harshly. "I'm not doing this."

"Airi – "

"No!" She shouted. "I've seen what happens when you turn into a wolf. I don't want to have problems like the others. This isn't what I wanted!"

"I know." Dante replied softly, glancing angrily up at the ceiling as if the white plaster had caused all of this. "I know it's not what you wanted. But there's no way to stop it, unless you want to be stuck in an in-between stage."

She growled angrily and then cut herself off when she realized how animalistic it sounded. "Dante, please." She tried her hand at pleading. "I don't want to be a wolf. I don't care if I was one once, but I'm a human now. Don't take that from me."

_Believe me, if I could stop this, I would. _"I'm sorry, Airi."

And to his horror, tears started to build up in her eyes. She turned her head away from him, obviously trying to hide them. Dante wasn't sure how to proceed. All that was left now was to wait, but the anticipation was killing him inside. He wanted to escape to the quiet of his office where her agonized screams would be somewhat silenced, but he couldn't leave her like this.

He didn't have to wait long, though. Airi's body suddenly seized, a strangled cry escaping her mouth. Dante took a step back, wanting to turn away but unable to bring himself to do it. Her watery eyes snapped to him as she jolted again, her pupils dilating to the point where the blue irises were nearly swallowed whole.

The next scream she emitted hurt his ears terribly, and his façade cracked as he shook his head rapidly, trying to fight away the terrible pain. "Dan – te!" She gasped feebly, black polished nails scraping desperately at the metal surface she was lying on.

"Just breathe, Airi." He said, though it was probably drowned out by her next shriek, which broke off at the end as she arched, pain searing up her back.

Dante couldn't say he knew what she was going through. He'd been born a wolf, a proud purebred that had no need to worry about trivial things such as dormant memories and long-lasting emotions. But as he watched the girl writhe in agony on the table, a pain that he'd never experienced before erupted within him.

Airi jerked at her bonds once more, looking like she wanted to curl in on herself and ride out the violent spasms that plagued her, and Dante wished he could free her. He glanced despairingly at the button on the side of the table that would release her, but what good would it do?

"I'm dying." The girl rasped, blood starting to flow from the corner of her mouth, though Dante wasn't terribly concerned. She'd only bitten her lip, and the sharpening of her teeth had savagely torn the skin. "It – It _hurts!_"

And a thought struck Dante then. There was a small chance that if he gave her the injection that stopped the Change, she would go back to being a normal human. It had happened a few times before when the serum was being tested, but it wasn't guaranteed.

Should he really take that chance, hoping that Airi would return to normal? He didn't want to think about what might happen if she turned into a wolf. Would she be stuck in a single emotion like Kiba? Have issues sorting through her memories like Hige?

Dante didn't want that for Airi. She intrigued him, and if her demeanor changed just because she'd fallen asleep underneath a full moon, he would never forgive himself.

Resolve set, Dante turned to the table behind him, eyes darting around anxiously as he searched through the test tubes and syringes, looking for that one special label.

"Dante." An eerily familiar voice flooded through the speakers as Dante snatched up a syringe, turning to the screaming girl with a foreign look in his eyes. "What are you doing? Put that down this instant."

Dante glanced up at the window above him, the highest one in the entire room. "I'm afraid I cannot allow this to continue, Father."

And with that, he plunged the needle into Airi's forearm.

At first, nothing happened, but after a few moments, her screams began to die away into pathetic little whimpers, sounds that made Dante feel irritatingly anxious. Throwing the emptied syringe to the ground, he pushed the button on the table and released the girl from her shackles.

With the use of her arms now returned, the sixteen-year-old's hands flew to her stomach, and she turned onto her side, eyes squeezing shut as she shuddered and curled into a fetal position.

"Airi." Dante said quietly, bracing one hand on the table and using the other to brush back her bangs, which were now damp with sweat. "Airi, can you hear me? Are you okay?"

She said nothing, and for a moment Dante believed that he'd made a terrible mistake and she was now stuck, not human and not wolf, certainly an abomination. But slowly, her eyes opened, and Dante breathed a sigh of relief when the exhausted blue gaze met his.

"Come on." He said, placing one of his arms underneath her legs and the other around her shoulders as he hoisted her into his arms. She coughed, burying her blood and sweat covered face into his chest, though he didn't mind. The shirt was already ruined. "Let's get you home."

"Oh, Dante, what have you done?" Liv demanded as he entered the observation room with the trembling girl in his arms. "You could've seriously harmed her."

Dante opened his mouth to make a sharp retort, but the exhausted Airi beat him to the punch. "Nothing Dante could've done would harm me more than being a wolf would." She whispered, and he tightened his grip on her when she clutched weakly at his shoulder.

"I'm taking her home." He said briskly as he brushed past his shocked mother, knowing full well that when he returned to the WRA later, a certain Head of the Board was going to have a talk with him.

They left the building uncontested, and thankfully, it was still early enough in the morning that not a lot of people were out. Surely the sight of them would cause suspicion, since Dante wasn't a normal face to be seen around town, and anybody would find reason to be curious if they saw Airi half conscious with blood on her face.

"Why'd you stop it?" Dante glanced down as Airi spoke. She wasn't looking at him, but at the claw marks on his face.

"You said you didn't want to be a wolf."

"Don't be a smartass."

"Would you rather I had let you turn into an animal?"

He'd risked a lot by giving her the serum. His rank meant nothing when it came to matters such as these, especially when his father had been there. Even if Dante was a naturally born alpha, so was his father. The two had never seen eye to eye, and Joshua Connolly saw both of his sons as challenges to his position.

Kiba was above everyone no matter what he did, so that left Dante as the main object of their father's frustrations. Dante had undermined his authority back in the lab, and he was going to pay the price for it later.

Airi hummed in response, a small smirk appearing on her face. "No way. I enjoy being a human, thank you very much."

"Pity. You would make a fine leader if given the chance."

It wasn't until they were a few houses away from the Asher residence that Airi spoke again. "Wait, how do you know where I live?"

"I've seen it on the television enough in the past month to know the general location."

"I'd say you've been stalking me."

Dante walked through the open gate, pausing to take the rickety old thing into consideration. He'd never really noticed how rundown the place looked. On the television, the lawn was normally flooded with media and police. Perhaps the camera did add a certain flair to things that real life lacked.

"Stalking a girl isn't really my style." The steps creaked as they ascended. "If I see something I want, I take it without hesitation."

Airi laughed, but broke off with a wince of discomfort. "Could've fooled me. You can just walk in the front door, you know. It doesn't lock."

Dante frowned, shouldering the door gently. Just as Airi said, the door swung open without resistance. He stood there for a moment on the porch, gazing into the home steadily. It was a wonder the house hadn't been broken into, more of the kids taken. "This place isn't fit for living."

"Not everyone gets to live in a big, white mansion their entire lives."

He followed Airi's scent up the stairs and down the hall, toward the bedroom where the scent of her perfume was strongest.

"It's hardly a mansion." The WRA headquarters was barely even a home. Constantly being watched and judged. Specified mealtimes and outdoor schedules. A mansion indeed. "More like a prison." Upon setting the girl on her feet, he inquired, "Where are your mother and brothers?"

Airi stumbled forward a bit, and Dante jolted forward, ready to catch her should she fall, but she waved a hand at him dismissively. "Out with my mom's boyfriend, Sal." She said, falling onto her bed heavily, kicking off her black sneakers. "To the lake, I think."

"Why didn't you go?"

"I had to work, idiot." She reached up to wipe away the blood on her lips with the back of her hand, nose wrinkling in distaste. "Though I guess I can't call it that. Like you said while I was strapped to that stupid table, I never actually _do _anything."

Dante saw the challenge in her eyes, but all he could think about was that she'd been able to hear him say that even though he'd been in a different room. _Why can't you see what you are? _"Will you be alright here by yourself?"

She eyed him evenly for a few moments, tongue darting out of her mouth to swipe away the fresh blood that was still bubbling. "I took karate when I was eight. I think I'm capable of staying here alone."

That may have been the case, but her eyes said otherwise. Dante considered himself rather good at reading people and their emotions, the only exception being his brother, who hardly showed anything at all. Airi's attitude said she was confident and annoyed, yet her eyes and voice screamed with fatigue and loneliness. He knew how that felt.

He glanced around the room, eyes drawn to a picture taped to the mirror on Airi's white vanity. The girl in the photo was all dark curls and giant smiles, sitting in the middle of an antique-looking rug with her arms outstretched for a doe-eyed baby boy that looked unsteady on his chubby legs, urging him to take that first step.

The girl in the photo and the woman on the bed were the same, yet completely different from one another. What had happened to damage that little girl so greatly, and where had she gone? Dante realized he wanted to know the answer.

"Do you have any tools in the house?"

"In the closet by the stairs. Why?"

"I think it's time that front door of yours was repaired."

* * *

><p><em>A.N.<em> Thanks to everyone that reviewed!


	23. False Pretenses

_**Chapter 22: False Pretenses**_

* * *

><p>Time healed all wounds.<p>

If you ever dared to tell her that, Airi would probably call bullshit. Time did nothing to right a wrong. Time didn't bring back lost family members, or get rid of unsightly blemishes on your criminal record.

No, time was simply an illusion, a way for people to keep records. It was pointless really, when Airi knew for a fact that time for their little world was running out.

She remembered that rainy day when her father had left the house in a flurry of curse words and suitcases, clothes flung from the bedroom window as her mother tried to rid their lives of anything their father owned.

Airi had been about four, and while she hadn't exactly understood what was going on, didn't know why her father was leaving, she had somehow known that it would be the last time she'd see him.

It had been nearly thirteen years since that day, and nothing had changed. Time had done nothing for her. She still didn't know why he'd left, and the pain hadn't lessened. It probably never would either.

But she was fine with that. It was probably for the best if she didn't know, so she could keep hold of her image of him, of the man who'd taken her to get ice cream after school.

Airi was, or had been, a firm believer that if you tried hard enough to block out the emotions that plagued you, you'd be able to continue on with your existence, however feeble it may be.

But ever since that day Dante had carried Airi home from that hell-hole known as the WRA, well… her outlook on the way she led her life had changed.

It had been four whole days since her _almost _Transformation, four days since Dante Connolly had thoroughly blown her mind. When he'd asked about their tools and offered to fix their front door, she had initially thought his request ridiculous.

He'd left her alone in her room to recover, and Airi had assumed he'd only been joking and had left, but surprised couldn't describe how she'd felt when the sound of a hammer reached her ears.

She really didn't know what to think of that man anymore. She still couldn't understand why Dante had stopped her Transformation. She hardly remembered much from her time on that table, but one image that was firmly imprinted in her mind was of him standing over her with a syringe in his hand.

He'd stopped it. He'd saved her. But why?

Dante lived and breathed wolves. He despised humans in a sense, seeing them as almost lesser beings, so why had he willingly stopped her from becoming one of them? She didn't understand it, and that infuriated her more than anything.

So, she watched him closely, trying to figure out just what he was trying to do. He'd fixed the door and the loose gate, and on top of that, he even insisted on walking Airi home from work every day. _Why? _She would often think as she watched his form walk away from her bedroom window. _What do you have to gain?_

Her employer even asked her questions about her family, ones that didn't always involve Toboe. That was reason for a red flag if Airi had ever seen one. She told him as little as possible, but skirting around certain details wasn't always possible.

She hated him for making her feel so vulnerable, for opening up old wounds that time _did not _heal, though some part of her found his prying charming. The word sent a shudder of disgust through her body. When had she ever found something _charming_?

It was only her desire to figure the guy out that kept her from quitting her job at the WRA. Every time she entered the building, a sense of unease would fill her, and she was always looking behind her back, waiting for someone to come and take her back to the lab.

She'd be damned if she let anyone turn her into a wolf, and she would fight for her humanity with everything she had. Liv was especially careful with her, it seemed, always asking her how she was fairing and if she was having a _lovely day._

No. She hadn't had a lovely day in years, Liv. That shut Dante's mother up every time. The wolves seemed wary around her as well, save for Jade, as if they expected her to turn into one of them and attack. But all she did was take them outside and play with the babies if they needed to preoccupied while their parents were getting tests done.

She didn't care, though. If it weren't for Dante, she probably wouldn't see them ever again.

Airi paused in her musings as a rubber ball rolled toward her, and she smiled a bit as an exuberant pup bounded after it clumsily, tripping over its own paws. It was one of Daisy's pups, the one Airi had held when it was still a newborn.

Artemis was her name, and she was a huge ball of energy. Her brother Orion was sleeping in the corner, distended belly full of Daisy's milk rising and falling with every breath he took. Their other brother Zeus showed signs of being a Reborn, so he was separated from them almost all the time. The fourth pup in their litter had died a few days after it was born. No one had told Airi why.

It had been at least a week since all three pups had been together with their mom. Artemis skidded to a halt as the white rubber ball stopped at Airi's feet, and the pup stood there with happy light blue eyes and a wagging tail, waiting for Airi to give her the ball.

"Don't you ever get tired?" Airi sighed humorously, giving the ball a gentle kick.

The dark brown pup pounced with a weak little growl, sharp baby teeth digging into the rubber with enthusiasm. Airi let out a small huff of laughter, crossing her legs as she sat there in her chair, watching and thinking.

She hadn't seen Dante all day, though Liv said he was in a meeting with the Board, whatever that meant. If the object of her attentions wasn't around, then why was she here?

The girl sighed, earning a curious glance from Artemis before the pup went back to her playing, bounding across the room to try to get Orion in on the game.

"How does Dante have any privacy in this place?" Airi said softly under her breath, glancing up at the security camera in the corner of the room.

The guy had lived here his whole life, so maybe he didn't find it strange, the way these people ran the WRA. He was smart, practical, business-savvy, and a tad bit egotistical, but even Airi had to admit that he had everything going for him.

But what could he really do behind the white walls surrounding the WRA? Being cut off from the world, even if there was a legitimate reason, didn't sound pleasant to Airi at all. How did Dante stand it? How did he stay sane while surrounded by wolves plagued by their own memories? The screaming and moaning and groaning?

She traced patterns in the carpet with her eyes, only losing focus when Orion started to chase Artemis in circles in the middle of the floor.

Did the guy even have any friends? He seemed so detached, keeping everyone at arms length. Jade and the other wolves held him in high regard, but that was hardly friendship. It was respect, and when you respected someone, you also feared them.

But Dante was hardly a guy to be feared. He acted tough, but Airi knew he wasn't whenever she looked at her repaired front door, or the newly painted and restored gate. The guy was a softy at heart.

A thought struck Airi then. Was figuring Dante out really that important? She'd never been overly anxious about things, but being in the WRA now was one of the only things that terrified her. Being so close to something that she'd almost been turned into…

Artemis and Orion were adorable, that much was certain, and they both seemed happy. Was it because being a wolf was really all Dante said it was? Were they happier than humans? When they were old enough to shift into humans if they wanted, would they do it?

In the end, she decided it didn't really matter. She'd been born a human girl, and that was how she was going to stay. Being there jeopardized that.

The pups stop in their play as Airi got to her feet, walking over to the intercom by the door and pushing the button. "I'm leaving for the day. Send someone to Nursery Room Three immediately." Turning back to the baby wolves, she said, "You two stay put."

Artemis tipped her head slightly, uncomprehending her words, but was quickly distracted as Orion began to bite at her ear. Leaving the two to their own devices and praying that someone would come to watch them before they damaged something or each other, Airi walked through the building at a brisk pace, ignoring multiple people as they greeted her in the halls.

She had to get out now before something terrible happened to her. But Dante was in a meeting. She couldn't very well quit without telling him. Her resolve was set though, so she decided she'd go to Dante's office and turn in her card key, write a quick note of resignation, and be done with it. It was fool proof, or so she thought.

Upon entering Dante's office, she froze in surprise. Dante spun around to face her, eyes hard with anger, but he relaxed a little when he realized it was only her. Behind him, sitting on the couch with yellow eyes filled with intrigue, was a man that Airi had never seen before, but she didn't need to think twice to know that this man was most likely Dante's father. They looked a lot alike.

"Sorry to interrupt," she burst out before either of them could speak, "but I just came to say that I quit." Pulling the card key from around her neck, she placed it on Dante's mahogany desk and then fled the room as quickly as she entered it.

She shut the door behind her quickly, walking down the hall toward the lobby with hands clenched tightly at her sides. She would admit that she was going to miss this place, if only a little bit.

It had given her something to think about other than missing Toboe, as well as some extra money to spend. Not that she'd actually bought anything with it yet. The checks had just sort of piled in her room. She honestly didn't know what to do with them.

_Kato and Hiro are going to have a field day with this. But at least I quit and didn't get fired. _She then felt a pressure on her wrist, one so tight and strong it forced her to a halt and even made her stumble back a few steps.

"Quitting without telling your employer why is pretty unethical, you know."

Airi didn't bother turning around. "Let me go, Dante."

He tugged on her wrist again. "Not until you tell me what's up."

Despite her better judgment, Airi turned to face him. The look of utter confusion on his face was rather comical, or it would have been in any other situation besides this one. She was at a loss for words for a change, so instead of addressing the matter at hand, she skirted around it. "What were you and your dad talking about?"

Confusion melted into irritation. "Is that really important?"

"I'm curious."

"We were discussing my actions from four days ago." He released her wrist, instead crossing his arms over his chest with a slight sigh. "My father and the others aren't particularly happy with me."

Airi didn't say anything for a moment. She'd often wondered what the consequences of Dante stopping her Change would be. Nothing had significantly changed in the past four days, but Airi had noticed how high strung Dante seemed to act at times.

There would be moments when they were alone in his office and someone, whether it be his mother or some other employee, would knock on the door. Dante would eye the door warily before Airi went to answer it, and upon seeing who it was, he would return to his work as if nothing had happened.

"Are you in trouble?" She asked.

Dante's gaze flickered to hers briefly. "Depends on what you mean by punished."

Without hesitation, he reached up and undid a few buttons on his shirt, pulling it aside to expose his collarbone. She stared at the unsightly bruises and gashes, teeth marks that no normal human or dog could have made.

"Dante – "

"Father said he had to put me in my place." He interrupted her swiftly, buttoning up his shirt once more. "It's not a big deal, they'll heal in a few days."

"A few days? I thought wolves healed like _that _when human!" She exclaimed, snapping her fingers for emphasis.

The smile he offered was sad and somewhat pitiful. "That's not always the case."

"Do you have any more?"

"It doesn't matter." He said, waving his hand dismissively. "Now tell me what it is that's bothering you. I have pressing matters to attend to."

"You can't convince me to stay."

"I never said I was going to, though I am a master of persuasion."

Airi didn't know if his acceptance of her decision was a good thing or not. She opened her mouth to tell him, to admit that she was terrified of staying simply because she didn't want to be a wolf, but the words wouldn't come. It sounded much simpler in her head, and she really didn't want to offend him in any way by belittling his… species?

Dante seemed to understand that, however. "I won't let them put you on that table again." He said with conviction.

When Airi spoke, she didn't think she'd ever sounded so small. "They can Change me anywhere."

Dante looked like he was going to contradict her statement but simply grabbed her hand and pulled her into an empty room. For some strange reason, she felt no apprehension, no fear that he was going to try something. For the first time in a long while, she didn't feel suspicious of a guy's motives. That thought alone scared her almost as much as being turned into a wolf did.

She didn't trust most men, what with her issues with her father and the fact that her first boyfriend had cheated on her with one of her friends. Airi was even weary of Sal, who she knew meant no ill will toward her or her family.

It was something she couldn't escape and hadn't been able to since she was very young. She questioned everyone, Sal, Hiro, Kato, even little Toboe, who would never intentionally do anything to hurt anybody. Yes, there was a reason why she was quitting, but it wasn't just because of her fear of being a wolf.

"You're the reason."

Dante turned to face her after he shut the door, eyes widening a fraction when he saw how upset she looked. "What?"

"You're the reason I'm quitting, or part of it anyway." She repeated. "You scare me."

He seemed to be at a loss for words. It was understandable, because she was, too. How could she possibly communicate to him how terrified she was of him, simply because he was a man? She couldn't without going into stuff about her dad, and that alone was painful enough.

"I don't understand." He said lamely.

Airi laughed bitterly, wiping away a tear with the heel of her palm. "I don't either. I told you I'm fucked up."

"No, you're not, Airi."

"Shut up." She snapped, pointing a finger at him in accusation. "This is your fault. Why couldn't you just let me leave with my dignity?"

"Running from your problems never solves anything. Trust me, I know."

She sensed a back-story, but didn't think she was ready to hear it yet. "Look," she began in exasperation, suddenly plagued with the urge to flee, "when I was four, my dad walked out on us. It was hard, because I loved him a lot. He wasn't perfect, but no one ever is. I… I haven't been the same since."

His expression remained impassive, and for a moment, Airi couldn't even believe that she was saying this out loud. She hadn't even spoken about this willingly with Olivia. "I started drinking when I was twelve, because it took the pain away, but after a few years it stopped working, it… it didn't help anymore."

But that hadn't stopped her from doing it. Up until the day Toboe left, she drank heavily. Now that she thought about it, she hadn't so much as looked at a bottle of booze since the morning she woke up at the police station.

Looking up at her companion rather pathetically, she said, "I'm a month and two weeks sober."

Dante blinked. "I didn't even know you used to be an alcoholic."

"That's such a strong word."

"You certainly don't act like one."

"Enlighten me." She said dryly. "How does an alcoholic act?"

"Bitter and shameful. Like they hate the world. Not all of them are like that, mind you, just the ones I've come into contact with."

Airi felt startled, but tried not to show it. Dante didn't think she was bitter? _Well, that's a first._

"Airi," he said slowly, "not every guy you come into contact with is going to end up hurting you."

Wrapping her arms around herself, Airi muttered, "You don't know that."

"Have I ever done anything to hurt you?"

She felt trapped, and she didn't like it. "You shanked me with a needle. That kind of hurt."

Dante wasn't amused. "We were discussing emotional pain, yes?"

With a huff, Airi turned away from him, if only to hide the beginnings of frustrated tears. "No, you haven't done anything yet."

"And what makes you think I ever will?"

"Because… " She paused, uncertain if she should keep talking. She wanted to say that she didn't think he'd ever do anything to hurt her, but she didn't know that, and neither did he. His father hadn't married her mother with the intention to leave. Jiro hadn't asked her out with the intention to cheat. Toboe hadn't left with the intention to hurt his family. "Because it always happens."

Silence greeted her words for a moment, but then she heard the sound of the door being opened. When she turned around, Dante looked the exact same as he had the day she'd met him, guarded and calculating, nothing more than a bystander paying witness to an unfolding tragedy. "I'll send your final check in the mail."

And with that, he was gone, leaving Airi alone with the notion that he had just proved her point. She exited the room alone, closed the door alone, and exited the building alone, not looking back once.

She was always alone, it seemed. Perhaps it was better off that way. With no one around, there was no one to hurt her.

Airi ripped off a loose white string from her sweater absentmindedly, wrapping it around her right pointer finger.

Time didn't heal wounds. It only made them worse.

* * *

><p>A roll of hushed thunder sounded in the distance, but I paid it no mind. Stalking through the tall, green grass, I had only one goal in mind, and my pulse was positively <em>racing <em>with anticipation.

Eyes darting to my left, I took in the sight of my companion. Sleek, white fur stood out horribly in our surroundings, yet somehow she'd remained undetected. Her ears flattened against her head as a twig snapped around us, bright blue eyes darting to me for instruction.

I paused in my creeping, tilting my head up slightly to sniff the air. "Downwind." I hissed quietly.

With a flick of her tail, she was gone, slinking through the undergrowth like a phantom in the night. I watched her go before moving forward once more. With a few more paces, my target came into sight. Unsuspecting and weak, basking in the heat of the sun after gorging itself into a hazy stupor. Easy prey. Snow and I could take it down without too much trouble.

I froze as my bracelets jingled, but the sound was lost in the wind, and I wasn't discovered. The flash of white across the clearing caught my attention as Snow took her position, shoulders rolling as she prepared to make the leap. I crouched down once more, pulling my lips back into a silent snarl. _One, two… three!_

We both sprang as one, landing on the dozing object of our tortures with twin cries of, "Critical!"

With a shout of surprise, Hige scrambled out from underneath our bodies as Snow and I fell to our stomachs in bouts of crippling laughter, our howls startling pheasants and rabbits from their hiding places within the grass.

"What the fuck was that?" Hige cried, fingers curled into his shirt as he struggled to tame his racing heart.

"T – That was a – a _critical _attack!" Snow giggled, losing hold of her feline form and morphing into a fifteen-year-old girl wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of mud-stained jeans.

Tsume would be pretty upset when he saw how dirty she'd allowed her new clothes to become. As time went on, she was able to maintain her cat form for longer periods, but she got distracted a lot, hence the constant shifts.

I didn't even think she'd noticed she was human yet, it had already become so natural to her. I remained a wolf, partly because I was exercising my wounded shoulder, and partly because I thoroughly enjoyed being what I truly was.

I was slowly starting to lose my sense of time out here on the road, a feeling akin to summertime when you had no Fridays to look forward to like during the school year, and even if it had been only a mere four days since we'd left Solerno, it felt like an eternity.

With the help of his medication, Hige was acting more carefree than I could ever remember him being, hence our current situation. Falling asleep out in the open was something Hige never would've done a week ago, what with memories of being jumped in such settings plaguing his mind.

But they were just forgotten thoughts now, a nagging in the back of Hige's mind that a combination of drugs and good times with friends had masked. I hoped that in time, the former wouldn't be needed to make him like this.

But while our friends' company had held back Hige's memories, they were having the opposite affect on my mind. At first, they were just little flashes that happened at random times. I'd see images, pictures of places I'd never been to in this life, yet when I saw them in my mind there was a recollection that I didn't understand.

The triggers varied. Sometimes it was a sound, a word, or maybe even a scent, but if something caught my attention long enough, and I'd experienced something like it before, I'd be thrown into a scenario that left me frightened and confused until Kiba, Tsume, or Hige explained what I'd seen to me.

So far, I'd remembered when I first met Tsume, when I killed Leara's falcon, and how _cold _I'd been when we first left Freeze City. All those events had happened in close relation to each other, so I still didn't really have a sense of how my past life had been, but at least it was starting to come back to me.

Snow, however, was having no such luck. She was still as resistant to being Blue as she'd been four days ago. No one had really dared to bring it up except for Cheza, but Snow just seemed to ignore the Flower Maiden whenever she made a comment. I supposed it was for the best, though I wished things could've been simpler.

"And what exactly is a 'critical attack'?" Hige demanded, getting to his feet while brushing dirt off his jeans.

Snow and I shared a bemused glance. "It's when you play video games and you kill someone with a critical." Snow explained with a happy gleam in her eyes. "It's extremely rare, you know."

Hige looked utterly confused, so I stepped in to elaborate. "When Hiro and Kato were obsessed with video games and one of them would attack something, they'd shout, 'Critical!'"

"That's stupid."

"You're only saying that 'cause we snuck up on you." Snow said in a singsong voice, jabbing both pointer fingers in Hige's direction in quick succession.

I couldn't help but laugh at the irritation that was present on Hige's face. He and Snow had been getting along extremely well. He finally had someone to talk to that had a wit almost as quick as his.

"I'll get back at you two at some point." Hige said dismissively with a slight smirk on his face.

Snow rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? Not this kitten, that's for sure."

"Besides," I said, getting to my paws and shaking out my fur. "Kiba said I needed to practice my stalking. You were just at the wrong place at the wrong time."

"That seems to be a common theme in my life." Hige mused, and the three of us started to laugh again, Hige's irritation at being disturbed forgotten.

We'd all fallen into a pretty easy existence as of late. When we were driving aimlessly, to the west per Cheza's adamant instruction, we'd come across an abandoned farmhouse in the countryside.

It had been rather early in the morning that day, dew still gathered in the long stalks of grass we were now currently concealed in, and we'd been tired after a long night of driving and arguing over the radio station.

Kiba, Tsume, and Hige had gone out to investigate the place while I stayed behind with Snow and Cheza, and they'd returned saying that the scent of humans was practically nonexistent, and it had been years since anyone had lived there.

The place wasn't as rundown as it should have been, with only a few problems with raccoons and rats that we swiftly dealt with, and we'd been staying in the area for two days. The surrounding countryside was teeming with wildlife, both for observation and food.

It seemed that no amount of hunting Hige and I did could put a dent in the monstrous rabbit population, and Snow was gorging herself silly with the rats in the house and barn.

She and I had done a lot of exploring, as well as visited the nearby lake where we went swimming at least five times a day. Snow had proved the stereotype about all cats hating water horribly incorrect.

Our skin had darkened considerably from all the time we'd spent outdoors in the past two days, and a part of me never wanted to leave this small piece of heaven we'd found. Nature had always been something I thoroughly enjoyed, and this place was everything I could've ever hoped for. Living on a farm had always sounded appealing to me, and I couldn't help but feel saddened that we would have to leave this place eventually.

The three of us stopped laughing and listened attentively as a call was heard back from the house. "Hige, Toboe, Snow! You better come back if you don't want to be caught out in the storm."

"I swear," Snow mumbled, finally realizing that she was no longer a cat and shifting back with a bit of difficulty. Shifting was painful for her for some reason, aside from the initial change from feline to human. When I was turned into a wolf, it had hurt the first time, but that was it. I really hoped nothing was wrong with her. "Tsume worries more than a mother hen."

"He considers himself the parent, even if he won't say it outright." Hige said, opening his jaws in a yawn and crouching low on his belly to stretch as he copied Snow's actions and shifted himself. "Who wants to race back?"

"You'll lose." Snow sniffed, holding her head and tail high.

"Says the cat who barely weighs more than a human baby."

"Oh, you're going to – "

"I think you're both going to lose!" I called over my shoulder as I bolted through the undergrowth, having left them at the beginning of the argument.

I laughed as Snow's frustrated screech filled the air, and I could hear the both of them as they struggled to catch up with me.

Breaking through the tall grass, the house came into view. Tsume was out on the front porch, face turned into the wind as he watched the approaching storm. Kiba was there as well, leaning over the railing on the porch while Cheza sat on it, a smile on his face as the Flower Maiden cheered encouragements to us from across the field. She was peculiar. When it came to contests such as these, she cheered for everyone.

I felt a few pops in my shoulder as I bolted across the ground, my paws kicking up mud and dead grass from the force. I wasn't too worried, however, for Kiba and Tsume told me to expect it.

When I was so close to the house that I feared I wouldn't be able to stop and would crash into something, I veered away and gradually slowed my pace. I ended up by the mailbox, which was a good ten feet away from the house, and when I turned around, heart still pounding with adrenaline from the run, Hige and Snow had just reached the house, Snow a few paces behind Hige.

"He tripped me!" She cried in indignation as Hige celebrated his second place victory. "I demand a rematch."

"What? You tripping over my paw was _not_ my fault."

"Was to!"

"Was not!"

I stifled a sigh, staring across the landscape just as Tsume had done to watch the approaching storm clouds. I could hardly call Hige and Snow's banter a "lover's spat." They fought more like Kato and Airi had before I'd left. I didn't know if that was a good thing or not.

I lowered my nose to the ground, trying to sniff out a meal, because that race had made me hungry, after all. I recoiled with a sneeze, pawing at my nose as a downy feather from one of the swans down at the lake irritated my sensitive nose. "Hige, clean up your mess the next time you decide to murder a swan."

The light-brown wolf looked over at me, lowering his head in an attempt to look sheepish. Too bad his eyes were practically dancing with amusement. "Murder is such a strong word."

"I can't believe you did that." Snow reprimanded him, taking a swipe at his nose with her paw, though her claws weren't out. "That poor thing never did anything to you."

"It looked at me funny." He said simply as he bounded up the creaky wooden steps, disappearing inside the door with a swish of his tail.

Snow flashed me a look, almost hesitant as she grew in size slowly, white fur deteriorating, the fluff on the top of her head darkening and growing longer until she was standing on two legs, pushing the palms of her hands into the small of her back, pressing until a small pop was heard.

"Don't even think about going inside with those boots on." Tsume growled, eyeing her muddied black combat boots with distaste. "Unless you want to clean up the tracks."

"Oh, what's the big deal?" Snow asked, and I bounded across the ground to join her as she marched up the steps to the door, toeing off her boots in the process. "It's not like we live here."

"We do for the time being, Princess."

My gaze shifted over to Cheza at Tsume's words, wondering just how long we were going to be stationed here. She was still refusing to tell us where to go next, only repeating the words she'd told Kiba and Tsume the first time they'd asked.

"This One is waiting for the end to be revealed."

I was no closer to figuring out what that meant, but if it meant staying at the abandoned farm longer, I was all for it. I still longed for my family though, more so since I'd called Airi four days ago.

I wanted to get back to them desperately, but I feared the repercussions for our actions. Would the police arrest the others if they were discovered? Would they have to live in hiding while I tried to convince the police and everyone in our hometown that I hadn't been kidnapped?

Telling everyone I'd left on my own would surely cause problems for my own reputation, but I would do it if it kept the others out of the public eye.

"Don't provoke her, Tsume." Kiba warned humorously. "She might put a dead rat in your shoe again."

A boom of thunder cut Tsume off before he could comment, sending Snow inside with a small squeak. She was terrified of storms apparently, which was something I hadn't known when she was a cat. She'd never hid underneath my bed until it was over or anything. I felt terrible for being so unattentive.

We all followed her lead and entered the house, Kiba locking the door behind us as the beginnings of the storm started. Hige was laying in the middle of the floor in the living room, or so I called it, right in front of the fireplace that hadn't been used in a long while.

The first day or so we'd been here, I'd been slightly paranoid about someone coming by and finding us in their home, but Kiba reassured us that the place had been abandoned for a long time, and we would be safe there until it was time to move on.

Snow was sitting cross-legged beside him, giving us an exhausted look when we entered the room. "I'm tired." She said, emphasizing her statement with a yawn. "But I don't want to go to bed. It's only seven-thirty."

We all slept out in the living room on a conjoined mat of blankets, either using our bags as pillows or discarding them altogether when sleeping in our true forms. I'd come to find that being an animal was extremely low maintenance in most aspects.

_Others,_ I thought as Hige struggled to lick the mud off his paws, _not so much._

"It is never too early to rest." Cheza chirped as she plopped herself down on the bedding of blankets beside Snow. "Girls need beauty sleep, correct?"

Snow looked perplexed, tilting her head in the same way she had whenever she was a feline and didn't understand something. Even if she was slowly starting to learn how to be a human girl and already knew about certain things from observing my family, she was still stumped by certain phrases.

"Sure." Snow said eventually, falling down on her back with a huff. "Beauty sleep, right."

Hige snorted, earning him a swift kick from Snow, and he, Snow, Cheza, and I settled down to sleep while Tsume and Kiba excused themselves, running off into the stormy night in a blur of gray and white. They tended to hunt better when it was raining, although I couldn't understand why.

Laying myself down beside Snow, I lay awake for a good while after the others fell asleep. Remembering my sling, I shifted back into a human, albeit reluctantly, and dug it out of my bag, situating it back over my shoulder. I truly hated the thing, but it was necessary for a safe and speedy recovery.

My eyes shifted to the window as thunder sounded, so loud that the pane rattled. As I watched lightning streak across the sky and the rain pound against the glass, something peculiar happened.

I could have sworn I saw a face in the window.

More curious than frightened, assuming it was Tsume or Kiba, I got to my feet and quietly moved toward the window. I stood beside it for a moment, staring out into the dark landscape.

At first, I saw nothing. But on the next strike of lightning, accompanied by a loud bang of thunder that sounded like a gunshot, I saw the form of a man out in the rain. His back was to me, but when I saw his form, his profile, a strange terror that I'd never known before overcame me.

But I couldn't move. I was frozen, eyes locked on the gun he was holding. My heart stopped as he began to turn, so painfully slow that the moment seemed to last _years_, and fixed his eyes on me.

One was blue, like Snow's, yet the other was yellow, eerily similar to Kiba's.

And I was falling.

* * *

><p><em>Pain.<em>

_That was all I could really think about, that unbelievable pain in my back… or was it my legs? I couldn't move my back legs, couldn't even stand up._

_I whined, letting my head fall back down to the snow. I'd failed. I'd tried to save everyone, save Cheza, but I couldn't do it. I was too young, too weak. I guessed Hige was right after all. I was a runt._

_I knew I should've been afraid. I could feel myself growing weaker, the wind tugging on my fur becoming less and less persistent. But I remembered something Kiba had said to Cheza once, right before we lost her the first time. "We're wolves. We're not afraid to die." I supposed that was one thing that I had in common with my friends, no matter my age._

_I flinched when I heard a gunshot. Had Darcia shot one of my friends? Pops? I couldn't lift my head to look, no matter how badly I wanted to. I might not have been afraid to die, but I was afraid of what I might have seen._

_What if it had been Tsume? He was my first real friend, no matter what he wanted me to believe. He'd saved me from Pops and Blue on that first day, which felt like so long ago now._

_I don't know if it was just because I'd been a child in trouble, or if he'd felt that same companionship I did when we first met. But it didn't matter to me. He'd saved me, end of story, and I would never forget it._

_Or had been Kiba? No, Kiba was too determined to keep Cheza safe to leave her side at all. There was no way he'd been close enough to get shot at like that._

_I didn't know what it was about Kiba. At times he was almost as silent and brooding as Tsume, though I knew the reasoning behind the silence was different. I'd felt the urge to follow him from the very beginning. I'd felt safe with Kiba, like nothing could go wrong as long as he was in charge._

_I hadn't minded much when he drifted away when we finally found Cheza. I understood the pull that only the Flower Maiden caused, what it did to a wolf. But unlike Kiba, I'd been nearly powerless when it came to protecting her._

_I knew it hadn't been Hige, for he wasn't here. He was off somewhere with Blue. No matter how he treated me, I really loved Hige. He was more like an older brother to me than anything. Everyone thought he always looked out for himself, but he was normally the one who would vouch for me whenever I was tired or hungry, since I wouldn't say anything myself._

_I was a wolf. We were a proud, hunted race, hated by most even though we were capable of much more than they said. Only Blue seemed to be the outsider that realized that._

_She wasn't a purebred wolf, but she still felt an allegiance with us. It was so strong that she'd left her master, the man who'd been in her life for as long as she could remember._

_But I knew it was also because she wouldn't be able to look him in the eye ever again and feel like his dog. She was descended from the creatures that he hated most. I couldn't imagine what that must've done to her, feeling like she didn't belong anymore. But if it felt like anything I'd felt when I lost Granny, I could definitely make the comparison._

_I hoped Pops would be able to see Blue for what she truly was and appreciate her for it, not just seeing her as a wolf, but the puppy he'd brought to his home so many years ago. I didn't think a bond like that was breakable, and it was a shame if they weren't able to rekindle that relationship they'd had._

_I opened my eyes slowly when I heard yet another gunshot, and this time I managed to lift my head. Had that been a thud? Did someone actually get hit that time? At first, all I saw was my blood, splattered over the snow from when Darcia had thrown me, almost like I was nothing. Then my eyes focused, if only for a moment, but that was all the time I needed._

_Pops._

_I watched through half-lidded eyes as he coughed repeatedly, blood flying from his mouth and staining the white snow. His shirt was darkening rapidly, becoming damp with blood from the wound. Darcia._

_I bared my teeth, a small growl escaping me. I'd only felt this kind of anger bubble within me a few times before, like when we'd been attacked by that walrus. That was the first time I'd actually felt like I was of more importance than just keeping the group together, which had been a struggle in itself. Even Kiba had taken notice, allowing me to eat before anyone else. I hoped Kiba knew just how much that had meant to me._

_Darcia had taken one too many things from us lately, but it seemed like that list was only getting bigger. I could smell death on Pops from where I lay. My sense of smell wasn't as keen as Hige's, but it was still overpowering. I wondered if he knew what kind of trouble we were in, wherever he was._

_"M – Mister." I said, pushing myself to my feet slowly, feeling the cold biting at my skin as I shed my wolf form, leaving me nothing but a broken human boy._

_Pops grunted, and I wondered if he'd noticed that I didn't call him Pops, just like he'd asked of me. I took one small step forward, then another, and another. I wasn't going to let him die alone, and I didn't want to go by myself either. I'd saved him once, even if he couldn't remember, but this time I couldn't do anything more than be beside him when we died. Blue would've wanted me to do that much._

_"I – I'm sorry." I whispered, limping closer, the pain almost overwhelming. "I wish I could've stayed at your side, your whole life… like Blue did."_

_I fell with a whimper, my head landing between my paws in exhaustion. But I couldn't stop. I had to get to Pops. I didn't see him like the others did. He was just sad, because he'd lost everything important to him. I'd lost Granny, but that was nothing compared to the loss he'd experienced. We were one in the same, he and I, but I found comfort sooner than he did._

_I_ _couldn't move my hind legs no matter how hard I tried. They were just numb, immobile. But I made do and dragged myself the rest of the way to Pops, the cold snow stinging my underbelly. "I wish… we could've all gone to Paradise… together."_

_Exhaustion taking hold of me, I fell, my muzzle landing on Pops's outstretched arm. He didn't pull away, though I didn't think he could have even if he'd wanted to. "Let me – sleep here – for a while."_

_I felt him move beside me, and for a moment, I thought he was going to push me away. But then I felt a hand on the back of my neck, moving up and down slowly, although it was shaking._

_He was petting me._

_I sighed, letting my eyes close again. I'd done it. I'd made him believe that wolves weren't as bad as he'd thought. Maybe now he would accept Blue, and she'd be happy again._

_I really hoped she would be. I liked Blue. She was good for Hige. I hoped he wouldn't annoy Tsume too much, and Kiba would be able to keep everybody together._

_It was strange. We were all so different, even though we shared one common trait, and yet we'd been able to come together to achieve one goal, to reach Paradise._

_Before I fell away, I thought I heard a voice in the distance. "Toboe!"_

Hige? _He was on his way. He'd smelled us. He knew._

* * *

><p>When I became aware of the screaming, I didn't know what to think. My side hurt, my shoulder hurt, and my hand hurt. But the screams… they were the most painful, because they were my own.<p>

"Toboe!" A pair of hands landed on my shoulders and I cried out, sobbing as I struggled to get away, clutching at my side, feeling the blood seeping through my fingers.

"He shot me!" I cried, my back pressing against something hard and stable. A wall maybe? "He shot me, I'm dying!"

"What? Toboe, what's wrong? What are you talking about?"

I couldn't respond, too overwhelmed by the roaring in my ears and the pain in my side to articulate a reply. Who was even speaking to me? And yelling for Hige? And trying to pry my hands away from the gunshot wound in my side?

Darcia's face flashed before me, a cruel, twisted smile on his face, his mouth dripping with blood. I coughed out a sob again, burying my face in my knees and desperately hoping that the blood pouring from his mouth was not my own.

"Toboe, please." Someone else was crying, too. Had he tried to kill them all? Was everyone already dead? "I – I don't – "

"Snow, don't touch him." A voice snapped, and the hands all around me were suddenly gone, and I felt so much relief that I couldn't help but cry harder. "He's having an episode."

"Let me go, Hige, he needs me!"

"Like Hell he needs you! _Kiba, Tsume_! Cheza, can you do anything for him?"

Snow. Hige. Kiba. Tsume. Cheza. Their names worked their way through my panic, forcing themselves into my mind like a whisper in my ear, a touch so gentle I hardly felt it. And slowly but surely, I became aware.

Darcia… he wasn't here. He'd just been a figment of my imagination. He'd shot me, yes, but that had been a lifetime ago, in a place far, far away from here. But where _was_ here?

"_Where are you, Toboe?" _A soft voice said in my mind, and I whimpered, because while it sounded so familiar, I couldn't make myself remember whom the voice belonged to. Where was I? I… was at the farmhouse, not in the frozen wasteland where Darcia had shot me.

"_Why?"_ We were trying to save the world again.

"_Who is 'we'?"_ Kiba, Tsume, Hige, Cheza, and Snow.

Releasing a shaky breath, I lifted my head from my knees, blinking through my tears until the room came into focus. The first thing I saw was a girl who appeared to be my age with black hair and tears streaming down her face as she stared at me with wide, terrified blue eyes. _Snow._

A boy was behind her, an arm wrapped around her stomach to keep her from approaching as he regarded me with careful, sad, worried eyes. _Hige._

_"You are safe here, Toboe." _The voice said again, and the sound alone made me feel less panicked. _"This is not your end."_

Shaking, I uncurled myself from the ball I'd formed with my body, pulling my hand away from my side slowly. To my utter relief, there was no blood pouring from my side as I'd expected. I felt childish for freaking out, but the dream – no, the _memory_ – had felt so _real_.

I almost laughed. Of course it had felt real. It had happened once. But to my confusion, there _was_ blood on my fingers, though it was coming from cuts and gashes that lined my knuckles.

Realizing that I was also wet and covered in tiny shards of glass, I tilted my head up slowly. The window was broken.

I jumped when the door burst open, the back of my head hitting the wall, and Kiba and Tsume came charging into the room, teeth bared, hackles raised, and fur dripping with rainwater as they tried to find whatever had caused me to scream so violently. They couldn't possibly see the inner torment that was plaguing me, however.

"What happened?" Kiba demanded, lips quivering as he fought back a snarl.

Hige released Snow, who fell to her knees on the ground, hands pressed to her mouth in obvious horror as she stared at me.

"Toboe remembered his death." He announced grimly. "At least… I think he did. He shouted Darcia's name and busted the window before he started screaming about being shot."

Kiba and Tsume relaxed a bit, though no one was at ease. I had yet to say anything, and it was anyone's guess as to my current state of mind. For all they knew, I was about to have a meltdown similar to Hige's.

But aside from the haunting pain in my side and the dull throbbing of my abused hand, I felt the same as I had before the storm, only this time, I remembered my death. I opened my mouth to say something, to reassure them that I was all right, maybe, but all that came out was a choked sob.

With a slight whimper, Snow was at my side once more despite Hige's attempts to get her to stay back, wrapping her hands around my uninjured one. "T – Toboe?" She whispered, voice cracking on my name. "Are you… okay?"

"I – " Everyone seemed to lean forward as I started to speak, my voice hoarse from screaming. "I saw him, he – he was right outside the window."

"You were hallucinating." Tsume said, his voice hard but gentle at the same time. Was that even possible, or was I losing my mind? "It was nothing more than an illusion."

I blinked away fresh tears as Snow clutched at me, wrapping her arms around me and yanking me closer to rest her chin on my head. "It felt so real." I choked out, hand drifting to my side once more. "_He _was so real."

"The bastard." Hige growled, a feral look in his eyes as his hands clenched into fists at his sides. "We haven't seen him in years and he's _still_ controlling our lives."

"That will never change." Kiba said, turning into a human as he picked his way around everyone in the room, kneeling down beside the bag Quent gave us, probably searching for bandages for my hand. "He scarred all of us, Hige, and I don't think anything we do will fix it."

"Will it always be like this?" I demanded, and my voice sounded so small and weak it made Snow hold me tighter. "Will I see his face everywhere I go?"

"Maybe." Kiba said, giving Snow a stern look as a way of telling her to let me go so he could wrap my hand. She only glared at him, however, shifting us so my injured hand was exposed, but she didn't let go of me. Kiba only sighed and began to bandage up my hand. "It happened to me when I was younger."

"It happened to all of us, like you said." Tsume said bitterly, crossing his arms over his chest and shaking his head to get rid of some of the water in his hair. "Those eyes of his won't ever go away."

I shivered in Snow's hold at his words, because Darcia's eyes had been the scariest part. So cold and uncaring, vicious and lifeless. I never wanted to see them again, although I knew it was inevitable.

"At least you could piece together what happened." Hige said slowly. "That's never happened before, not even with Kiba or Tsume. I had to have them explain where I was and what our current situation was all over again after I remembered how I died."

"Cheza." I said in reply, turning my gaze to the pink-haired girl who hadn't said a word this entire time. "She spoke to me. She helped me remember what was going on."

Kiba leaned back, turning to Cheza. "You did?"

The girl nodded, smiling so hugely it looked horribly out of place in the dark situation we had found ourselves in. "This One did help Toboe, and now we can move on. The end was revealed."

No one said anything for a moment, and as I pieced together what Cheza had just said, her words suddenly made sense. 'The end' had meant my death.

"We were waiting this entire time for me to remember my death?" I whispered. "Why?"

Cheza, however, only smiled sweetly, tipping her head in the same way Snow always did, and offered no answer.

Kiba stared at her incredulously, his eyes flashing in the darkness. I noticed how they were still yellow, even though he was a human. He must have been really angry.

"I've had enough." He growled suddenly, getting to his feet and moving across the room, arms crossed over his chest. "This is ridiculous."

"Kiba – " Tsume said carefully, just as aware of Kiba's shift in mood as I was.

"We can't go on like this." Kiba snapped. "We're all miserable, there's no way around it." No one offered a reply, and Kiba's eyes slowly turned from yellow to blue, his posture and expression relaxing considerably. "I can't sit by and watch you all deteriorate any longer." He said, softer this time, shaking his head. "Tomorrow, you're going to show us where it is we're supposed to go, Cheza."

The Flower Maiden nodded, and Kiba turned his gaze to Snow and I, who by now was crying so hard, I feared I'd hurt her while in my trance. But I knew she was just scared, as I was.

This wasn't what she'd expected. She hadn't actually seen Hige in an episode, or watched Kiba lose his temper. Now she'd seen me lose myself to a memory. And now that she'd seen it, it was starting to become more real.

This wasn't a vacation. Our time in the farmhouse had diluted our view of our main goal, giving us false pretenses.

"Tomorrow, we're going to find Paradise." Kiba stated with resolve, and we all nodded, even Snow. We had a mission to accomplish. The time for fun and games was over. "And all of this will end."

* * *

><p><em>A.N.<em> Thanks to all who reviewed!


	24. What Hurts the Most

**Warnings: ****Mild blood and gore.**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 23: What Hurts the Most<strong>_

* * *

><p>"Daddy! Daddy, look at the fishy, it's orange!"<p>

"Orange is your favorite color, isn't it, Stella?"

"Mhm. I like pink, and blue, and purple, too, Miss Anastasia."

Children, Airi had come to realize, were far too bubbly for their own good.

Even now, as she sat on the picnic blanket with Hiro at her side, watching through half-lidded eyes – she hadn't gotten much sleep the previous night, plagued by nightmares of wolves and cold, brown eyes – as her mother entertained Sal's seven-year-old daughter.

She hadn't even known that the guy had a kid from a previous marriage, but then again, she'd never showed much interest in her mother's boyfriend. Stella was nice enough, cute and sweet with dark brown hair, blue eyes – maybe she'd fit in with their family after all – and dimples, though she had a habit of running her mouth and babbling about stupid shit that Airi didn't really care about.

This wasn't what she had expected out of the day after she'd left the WRA. She'd planned to stay home and sleep in, call Olivia maybe, eat some ice cream, wallow in self pity for allowing herself to let a guy in.

The list went on and on, really, but her plans had been interrupted when her mother had burst into her room that morning, looking unusually perky and optimistic in a light blue sundress and flip flops, spouting nonsense about spending the afternoon with Sal and his daughter at the lake.

It had been Airi's job to pack the lunches, along with Hiro, who had been just as enthusiastic about the entire situation as she was, and so far, the outing was proving to be a bust.

Kato, her mother, Sal, and Stella were having a spectacular time, of course, splashing around in the shallows like immature children. Watching Kato interact with the seven-year-old had been slightly amusing, if not annoying.

Her mom would sit on Sal's shoulders, and Stella would sit on Kato's, and the four of them would just play around in the lake like they didn't have a care in the world. Airi brushed a ladybug off her jean shorts with a huff.

"Mom sure did bounce back quick. Toboe's Missing Child poster hasn't even been taken down yet and she's already replacing him."

"Mom's not replacing Toboe with Stella, Airi." Hiro said tersely, not looking up from his guitar. "Filling a void, maybe, but not replacing."

The thing was ancient and had to be retuned constantly, but Hiro refused to scrap it and get a new one. It was one of the only things that their father had owned that was still in their possession, after all, and their dad had been teaching Hiro to play it when he'd left. Airi hadn't seen him use it in a long time, though, and she couldn't help but wonder if he was trying to prove something to Sal by bringing it with them today.

"She's too cute." Stella squealed as she slid off Kato's shoulders and into the water, slapping her arms against the surface of the lake. "I mean, at least with Toboe, he wasn't trying too hard."

"You do realize you're talking shit on a girl who's essentially a toddler, right?"

"I am not talking shit, I'm simply stating my opinion." She retorted, picking up one of the dolls that Stella had brought by its hair, eyeing it with distaste before tossing it unceremoniously to the side. "I never played with dolls, did I?"

"Dad wouldn't let you." Hiro chuckled, strumming the guitar once and listening to the sound it created before tightening the strings. "He thought it would turn you into some prissy little girly girl. Thank God for that."

Airi said nothing, simply pulling up the bodice of her dark blue tube top, which was starting to ride a bit too low. The looks she was receiving from a group of high school boys a ways down the beach from them were making her uncomfortable.

"Want me to take you shopping for some more modest clothes?" Hiro suggested, blue eyes narrowing as he noticed the guys as well.

"My reputation would go way down the toilet if I went shopping with my older brother." She dismissed his suggestion with a wave of her hand, pushing her sunglasses up onto her head with the other.

She raised a hand to shield her eyes from the sun as she gazed out across the water. She had to admit that she hadn't seen her mother so happy in a long time. The smile currently present on her face was almost blinding.

Airi couldn't help but feel as if her mom was ignoring the fact that Toboe was gone, focusing on her relationship with Sal instead. She knew that they couldn't keep living in misery forever, though, and not everyone was going to be as relaxed about the situation as she was.

But Airi was the only one who'd had any recent contact with Toboe and knew why he'd left. She considered herself the only one who had a reason to be calm.

"What, I'm not cool enough to be seen with you in public?" Hiro demanded.

Airi slid her gaze over to him, an amused smirk tugging at her lips. "Precisely."

"Daddy, I don't want to swim anymore. I'm cold." Stella announced suddenly, wrapping her thin, pale arms around Kato's neck and clinging tightly, lips turning blue a little from the cold water.

As Kato started to carry the girl out of the water, their mom and Sal following close behind, Airi grabbed Stella's towel and held it up as they approached.

"Thank you." Stella said shyly as Kato set her down on the blanket, taking the towel from Airi with hesitant movements.

Apparently Hiro and Kato had met the girl dozens of times before today, and she was comfortable around them, but not Airi. This was their first meeting, and Airi wasn't being terribly enthusiastic about it. She supposed it was for the best in the long run. She highly doubted that her mom and Sal were going to get married.

"You're welcome." Airi replied, tossing her hair over her shoulder carelessly. "So, can we eat now? I'm starving."

"Sure, whatever you want." Sal said, as if she'd been speaking specifically to him. "What are we having, Anna?"

"Sandwiches, I think." Her mom replied, giving Airi a warning look when she made a face at the nickname Sal had used. Anna? How terribly dull.

_At least he doesn't call her by her last name like Dante did to me. _Whoa. Unwanted thought. Dante Connolly was no longer in her life, and therefore, she was _not_ going to think about him. That was easier said than done, however.

"Airi and Hiro made them."

"Which is a miracle in itself." Kato commented dryly, earning him a small shove from Airi.

They fell into a somewhat comfortable silence as they dug into their lunch. Airi offered up her ham sandwich to Stella, who almost threw a hissy fit because she _doesn't like turkey, Daddy! _Airi couldn't have cared less, after all, but she hated whiny kids.

"So, you boys planning on heading off to college this fall?" Sal asked Hiro and Kato in an attempt to jumpstart conversation.

Her brothers shared a glance, and Airi could only imagine what was running through their minds. College wasn't something they'd talked about a lot, or at all, and the two of them had barely passed senior year as it was.

They were smarter than they looked. They just hadn't really applied themselves to their full potential. But college cost money, and money was something they didn't have a lot of. College for the Asher siblings was more of a distant dream than a reality.

"I've actually been thinking about enlisting." Hiro said after a few moments of tense silence. Airi gaped at him in obvious surprise, as did their mother, though Kato didn't look shocked. Her brothers had obviously talked about this before.

"Really?" Sal asked, eyebrows raised in question. "What made you want to do that?"

Hiro shrugged his shoulders a bit, tapping his fingers on his guitar. "I've just done a lot of thinking in the past few weeks. I want to do something with myself, you know? I think joining the army could help straighten me out a bit."

"Oh, honey." Their mom said quietly. Airi said nothing, but she couldn't help but feel as if her brother's sudden urge to be in the army had something to do with Toboe.

"I think he should do it." Kato said in his brother's defense, as if anybody had tried to talk him out of it in the first place. "Getting out into the world will be good for him."

"We'll talk about it when we get home." Their mom said, and Airi simply sighed, already imaging the fight that would ensue when they got home. Their mom wasn't going to be too keen on letting another one of her children go after Toboe left. A mother could only take so much, after all.

"Daddy, look, a puppy!"

Airi didn't bother turning around to look. They'd seen a lot of dogs at the lake, and Stella had made a point to comment on every single one, about how cute it was or what color collar it was wearing.

Honestly, Airi didn't think she'd ever be able to handle looking at a dog ever again. It brought back too many memories and unwanted 'what ifs'. She didn't regret choosing to remain human, and even if she did, there was nothing she could do. There was no way she was falling asleep underneath a full moon again, and she was too afraid to go through a Transformation on her own.

"It has the prettiest green eyes, doesn't it, Stella?"

Airi stiffened, frozen in a moment too terrifying to put into words, and no one seemed to notice. Turning slightly, she didn't need to take a look at the eyes themselves to determine that she knew this newcomer.

Jade played the part of 'lost puppy' extremely well, head low as she crept forward slowly, tail wagging excitedly behind her. Stella looked delighted, reaching out for her with eager hands, though Sal held her back, spouting nonsense of diseases.

_She has the cleanest bill of health in the entire Youth Department, dumbass. _Airi couldn't help but think as she dropped her meal, preparing to get up and drag Jade out of there before kicking her ass for approaching so fearlessly, though she didn't get the chance.

Darting forward with precise movements, Jade snatched up the doll that Airi had thrown minutes ago and took off, galloping across the sand and into the grass, toward the cluster of willow trees further up the bank.

"Hey!" Stella cried unhappily, tugging against her father's grip. "It stole Dolly!"

"I'll get it." Airi said quickly, getting to her feet and running after the wolf, not even bothering to put her shoes on before taking off. The high school boys whistled as she passed, though she only raised a hand absentmindedly in reply, flipping them off before disappearing into the trees.

"Jade!" She shouted angrily, cupping her hands on either side of her mouth, although it was completely unnecessary. Jade would be able to hear her all the way back at the WRA if things were quiet enough. "I may not work at the WRA anymore, but I can still make your life miserable if you make off with that doll!"

"Our authorities would be upon you in a heartbeat if you ever dared try to harm one of our adolescents."

She stopped running, arms hanging limply at her sides as she listened to that voice, a deep voice, calm and soothing, though his eyes alone could send shivers down your spine.

In front of her, a man stepped out from behind one of the willows, one hand in the pocket of his khaki slacks while the other was holding Stella's stolen doll, observing it with calculating brown eyes.

In that moment, Airi surely forgot to breathe. He, however, didn't act as if anything was out of the normal.

"Funny, you were always so gentle with the pups. I trusted you with them more than anybody. Artemis misses you, you know." He looked up at her then, eyes almost concealed by his dark hair. It had gotten so much longer in the time they'd known each other. "Do you develop a certain hatred for children once they learn to speak?"

Airi maintained her silence, mind reeling as she struggled to piece together what had just happened. One thing was certain, however. She'd been set up.

The white wolf that had knowingly led her here was nowhere to be seen, but Airi couldn't imagine her being too far away. Jade always loved good gossip.

"Or is it just the males?" Leave it to Dante to hit someone exactly where it hurt. "Orion and Zeus never did receive your affections as much as Artemis did. They noticed, you know. Everyone did. You're not as inconspicuous as you would like to believe."

She wanted him to go away. Why was he here? Hadn't he done enough, forcing his way into her life when she wasn't ready for it? He was lucky she hadn't done any physical damage to him, aside from the claw marks that were still barely visible on his face.

Stiffly, Airi raised hand, fingers reaching, trembling. "Give me the doll."

Dante looked surprised, eyes flickering to the doll briefly before moving back to her. "You play with dolls? I was expecting Jade to bring me a shoe or something, not this pathetic piece of plastic."

"It's my mom's boyfriend's daughter's."

"Ah," he said, nodding his head, "that makes much more sense."

She glared at him furiously. "Give me the fucking doll. I'm not dealing with your bullshit today."

"You seem to be in a much better mood than the last time we spoke. How are you doing?"

"How am I _doing_?" She echoed, looking up to the sky as if the endless blue plain provided the answer to every question she'd ever had. "You would ask me something like that, you bastard. Look, if you came to make fun of me some more, save me the trouble of having to give you a verbal bitch slap and just leave."

"I didn't come here to make fun of you, Airi."

"Then why are you here?" She cried, spreading her arms out in front of her in an almost pleading gesture. "What do you want?"

This didn't make any sense. No man had ever taken the time to return just to rub something in. There must have been something he had to say, something he hadn't when he was stomping all over her anxieties.

She prepared herself for more heartbreak, but this was all new to her, she didn't know how to handle it. Her father hadn't come back for a second round of fighting. Jiro had returned, sure, but she'd been completely wasted that night, so that didn't count. She hardly remembered it anyway.

What did Dante Connolly _possibly_ have to say to her after everything that had happened the previous day? His final words to her had seemed to be just that. Final.

And the bastard actually had the gall to smile at her, and it was a smile so sweet and caring that she wanted to smack him for it, cry and tear at his stupid face with her nails until that smile was wiped from the face of the earth. He was taunting her, she just knew it.

She balled up her fists, prepared to punch him if he dared come too close, but she was frozen as he approached, locked and chained in this beautiful paradise among the willows as the one thing she feared most bared down on her.

When Dante stopped walking, they were impossibly close. She could smell the scent of his office on his clothes, of whiteout, paper, and a musky sort of scent that she knew only male wolves carried.

Gently, he took her hand in his and placed the stolen doll in her palm, curling her fingers around it slowly. "I'm here because I hurt you." He said with a slight shrug of his shoulders, as if it were that simple. "Like I said, not every guy you come into contact with is going to hurt and abandon you, Airi."

That still didn't make any sense, nor did it calm Airi's anxieties about the situation. Almost absentmindedly, the hand that wasn't clutching the doll reached up and fisted itself in Dante's blue shirt, a shade that she vaguely realized matched her eyes.

"But _you _hurt me." She said fiercely. "That's every guy so far, Dante. You have no argument."

But he just smiled again, though she had no urge to slap him for it this time. "True. But I haven't abandoned you, and I don't plan to."

And for some reason neither of them quite understood, they kissed. Who initiated it didn't really matter in the end, nor did the fact that Airi called him a bastard once more before they connected.

Airi thought that you shared a kiss with someone you loved, but she knew she didn't love Dante. No, neither of them loved the other, for Airi was too afraid and Dante was too uptight for such a thing.

But they both knew that they cared for each other deeply. If they didn't, neither of them would've agonized so much over the past fourteen hours since Dante had left her at the WRA.

So, neither pulled away. If anything, they hung on tighter, and the stolen doll hanging loosely from Airi's fingers and the pair of bright emerald eyes watching from a distance were the only witnesses to the kiss, as well as the resounding slap that came after.

* * *

><p>I'd never realized how terrifying eyes could be until the night I remembered my death.<p>

There was really nothing special about that specific pair, a simple dark blue and a piercing yellow. I'd seen both colors before at different times throughout my life, yet none had put raw fear in my heart like Darcia's had.

Hige said it was because I associated them with bad things, that blue and yellow combination. I agreed to a certain extent.

For a few hours after I'd seen Darcia in the window at the farmhouse, I couldn't look Kiba, Snow, or Tsume in the eye without their faces morphing into that of Lord Darcia III and that phantom pain returning to my side.

Hige had offered me his medicine, and I refused to take any of it, though I felt like a hypocrite for doing so. Yes, I was afraid of Darcia's eyes, but not just because I associated them with bullets, blood, and death.

They were empty, lifeless even. _Soulless_, if that was even possible. I'd never seen anything like it before, how empty and uncaring he'd been when he'd stared at me over the barrel of the gun, prepared to kill a fourteen-year-old in cold blood with absolutely no remorse.

Just thinking about what kind of person would do that made me sick to my stomach. And knowing that same man had killed not only me, but every single one of my friends made me all the angrier that I was allowing him to have so much control over me.

We woke up early, the sun hardly peaking over the tips of the grass, but even so, everyone else was more awake and alert than I was. I hadn't slept at all, plagued with throbbing fingers, phantom images, and the sound of Darcia's laughter.

It was the kind of maniac cackle you heard in most horror movies, and I couldn't help but wonder if the horror films of today had antagonists that were based off the villain that had taken my life in our old world. It was impossible, of course, because only six other people aside from myself could have heard it, and it wasn't something we could convey to others.

In all aspects of the word, I was exhausted. My eyes could hardly stay open, I couldn't listen when someone tried to talk to me, and I felt like I was in a daze. This wasn't the condition I wanted to be in when we finally found Paradise, or saved the world or whatever, but I couldn't really do anything about it. I was a prisoner to my own mind, just like Hige was.

I growled lowly at the thought.

"Are you hallucinating again, Toboe?" It took me a moment to answer, mostly because I hadn't understood the question the first time it was asked, nor did I know who was asking it.

"No." I snapped irritably, closing my eyes as I leaned my head against the cool glass of the window. I was sitting in the back again, though this time my companion was Cheza, who Kiba had ordered to stay close to me in case I went into a rage. I liked to think I had a bit more self-control than that, but this was hardly something I could keep under wraps. "I'm not hallucinating. I'm tired."

"Can't you sleep?" That time, I didn't need to think to know who was speaking.

Snow had been like my shadow ever since the previous night. We'd been in the car for a few hours or so, and she'd probably asked how I was doing at least twenty times. I didn't answer her more often than not, leaving Cheza to do it for me.

Just the sound of the Flower Maiden's voice was soothing to me a bit, yet I couldn't fall asleep like Hige had done whenever she was near. I didn't know why. It wasn't like I wasn't trying to fall asleep. The blissful ignorance that unconsciousness provided sounded more like Paradise to me today than the land my memories had been in.

Snow didn't deserve my frustrations, however, so instead of snapping, I simply murmured, "I have a lot on my mind."

"You should try to take some of Hige's medicine." That was Tsume. He'd been relatively silent, and I wondered what he thought about all of this. "If not that, then take some Ambien. Pops put a whole bunch of pills in that bag he gave us."

Kiba was beyond upset. He hadn't spoken at all aside from giving us the occasional order, thought it was obvious he was seething on the inside. That yellow hue that always appeared in his blue eyes when he was angry was permanently present now, which made it all the harder for me to look at him directly, therefore causing Kiba to get even angrier because I was suffering and there was nothing anyone could do to help me.

We'd all reached an impasse, it seemed, and no one knew how to break it.

"If I fall asleep, I'll see his face." Snow and Hige both turned in their seats at the sound of my voice, heavy and thick with both sleep and tears. My anxieties about the situation refused to go away, and now I was as emotionally unstable as I'd ever been before. I wanted to burst into tears one second and punch someone in the face the next.

Snow fidgeted anxiously, tugging at a loose strand of her hair. "Isn't there anything we can do for him? Look at him, he looks like death."

Hige rolled his eyes, though he didn't voice the irritated retort that I knew was on the tip of his tongue. Snow didn't know any better. This wasn't something she'd had to go through yet. Some part of me prayed that she never would.

"Toboe will be okay." Cheza said with conviction, reaching up to run her fingers through my hair soothingly. "His mind is wounded and weak. Give him time to heal."

"Yeah, give me time to heal." I said, trying to sound more alert and upbeat than I actually felt.

Snow beamed as if I'd just said something life altering, yet the one Hige gave me was small and sympathetic. At least someone understood what I was trying to do.

"Where exactly am I heading, Cheza?" Tsume asked, fingers tapping on the steering wheel restlessly.

He and Kiba had been acting strange all morning, not really talking but still dictating our next moves all the same. I knew the happenings of the previous night had shaken them just as much as it had me, and I would welcome the end of all this with open arms.

Paradise did sound heavenly at this point. At least then I would have complete peace of mind.

"It should not be long now." Cheza replied, glancing out the window closest to her. "We will be at the end of the road in a few minutes."

Hige and I released simultaneous groans of disappointment. To wolves with minds as high-strung as ours, a few minutes felt more like a few hours.

"We could sing songs to pass the time." Snow suggested.

"Oh, dear God, no." Hige said, shaking his head. "I'm not about to succumb to that torture. What songs do you know anyway?"

Snow gave him a level stare filled with ire. "I was hoping you would know some, oh, Ladies Man."

"Well, when you put it like that – "

"No singing, no fighting." I said with a sigh, leaning my head against my headrest. "How about we play the quiet game until we reach the woods?"

Snow turned to look at me again. "You're such a bore when you're tired."

I didn't say anything, because my being tired wasn't exactly the reason I was being so short with them.

Despite Snow's attempts, we spent the rest of the car ride in relative silence, save for the hum of the radio that Tsume refused to turn up all the way. I didn't think there was much of a point in having it on when we could hardly hear it, but I didn't really care about the radio either way.

Just like Cheza had said, the road ended near a thick forest, and unable to continue on without it, we all piled out of the van one by one.

"Don't you think you should keep that on?" Snow asked as I started to take off my arm sling.

I shook my head, tossing the useless material back into the car before shutting the door behind it. When I turned to face her, I was on all fours, giving my fur a slight shake and stretching out my stiff and tired muscles.

"I plan on staying like this for a good part of the day." I told her. "That sling is meant for someone with real arms."

"That's always been kind of sketchy for me." Hige said, also in wolf form as he reached up with his hind leg to scratch behind his ear vigorously. "Are our front legs considered arms in a sense? It's kind of hard to think of them as another set of legs when I'm so used to using them for things other than running and taking down my food."

"I think we have more pressing matter to attend to here, Porky." Tsume said, arms crossed as he stared into the trees before us, looking thoughtful. "I couldn't care less what they're called."

"Well, _excuse me_ for asking a question."

"You will be forced into your true forms at some point while we are in the forest." Cheza said, and the sound of her voice stopped any arguments before they could really begin. "Humans are not allowed to enter past a certain point. It is in your best interest to change now."

Kiba, Tsume, and Snow nodded, shedding their human skins quickly. Snow didn't look to be in pain from the switch, and I hoped she was becoming more comfortable in both of her forms.

"Are you guys ready for what lies beyond this?" Kiba asked, fixing us with a hard, yellow stare. "Anything could happen."

We all nodded. "I'm ready to figure out what all of this is about." Snow said, licking a paw before swiping it over her ear. "A feline's curiosities are nearly impossible to contain."

Kiba nodded briskly. "Alright. Cheza, lead the way."

The forest itself wasn't as daunting as it had appeared from the outside. I'd expected it to have some sort of supernatural feel, but it was just like a regular forest. The trees were taller than I was used to, some reaching maybe forty or fifty feet, and they were packed together extremely tightly.

The ground beneath our paws was mostly covered in moss instead of grass, and we came across mushrooms every few minutes. Hige would sniff at them curiously, and Tsume would tell them not to eat them, then they would argue back and forth until Snow snapped at them to shut up.

Yep, it felt just like a normal forest. The only thing that I deemed somewhat unreal was the way the light from the rising sun filtered through the trees and illuminated our path. It was a breathtaking sight.

"The last time I was in a forest like this, we were following a creepy owl instead of the Flower Maiden." Hige commented, jumping over a fallen log rather gracefully for his size and weight.

"One of the many occasions where your stomach got us into trouble." Tsume snorted, pausing as a deer bounded through the trees to our right. He watched it for a moment with a predatory light in his eyes before moving to follow after Kiba and Cheza once more.

"Are you really that much of a glutton?" Snow inquired, her whiskers quivering with amusement. "I haven't had the pleasure of witnessing it, aside from when you gorged yourself on that poor swan back at the farmhouse."

"Stick around long enough and see what happens." Hige replied with a lash of his tail.

"I think I will."

The obvious flirting was painful to my ears, mostly because Snow had no idea what she was doing to Hige. If the two ever did enter some sort of relationship, I could just imagine how awkward the beginning stages would be for the rest of us. That was the only thing I was not looking forward to.

I was so lost in my musings that I didn't notice when Tsume stopped walking, and I bumped right into him. "What gives?" I demanded irritably, moving around him to stand at his side.

"There's nowhere left to go!" Hige exclaimed as he moved past us, walking to where Cheza and Kiba were standing. Thick vines and bramble thickets blocked the path, and I knew we hadn't a prayer of finding a way through it.

"Could we just go around?" I asked.

Cheza shook her head, moving forward to place her hand on one of the vines. Almost instantly, it slithered away, followed by the others vines and the brambles. They looked like snakes in the way they moved, which I tried not to think about because I didn't particularly like snakes.

"Whoa." Snow said once they were gone, staring into the valley beyond.

"This is it." Cheza said softly. "The Gateway to Paradise."

My exhaustion vanished as soon as I set paw on the grass in the clearing. It hit me so suddenly that I stumbled back into Hige with a gasp, shaking my head as if to clear it of all the sounds and smells we were suddenly surrounded by.

"Easy." Hige mumbled, pressing up against me as I trembled slightly beside him, overwhelmed by the senses and emotions that hadn't been present since the previous night. "You're okay."

"This place is so beautiful." Snow walked forward ahead of us, her white fur almost blinding in the intense sunlight. "This has to be a dream, right?"

"This is no dream." Kiba said, moving past her with his nose tilted up, sniffing the air around us. "It's the Gateway to Paradise alright."

Tsume nudged me forward gently, and he and Hige flanked me on either side as we followed after Cheza, Kiba, and Snow. I didn't even bother to feel embarrassed that I was so overwhelmed by this entire situation, because there were more pressing matters that I had to deal with.

The meadow we'd stumbled across was beautiful, just as Snow had said. There were crystalline pools of water dotted around the area, each pool surrounded by flowers. They weren't lunar flowers, however, just ordinary ones you would see in everyday life, like tulips and daisies. A thin fog hung in the air like rain, obscuring my view of what might lay beyond it, but I was in no mood to find out.

I stopped walking for a moment, leaving Tsume and Hige to move on without me as I stared into the fog. There was something about this place that didn't settle well with me. Sure, it was beautiful in scenery, but something was off about it.

When I went to Paradise to find my memories, there had been wildlife all around. Here, there wasn't so much as a single grasshopper. I tried to push my feelings of unease away, but that was easier said than done. The Gateway to Paradise shouldn't have made me feel like this, right?

The others didn't seem bothered in the slightest. Snow and Hige were chasing one another around in glee, Hige howling about how we'd finally done it, that we'd reached the end of our journey without dying.

Tsume and Kiba were moving further through the field side by side, looking more at ease than I had seen them in a long time. Even Cheza was spinning in circles among the flowers, arms thrown out in the air as she giggled with every turn.

I shook out my fur in an attempt to calm myself. I was simply still on edge from the previous night. There was nothing dangerous about this place.

"I never thought we'd actually do it, you know?" Hige panted, throwing himself down in a patch of dandelions and nuzzling his head into the ground. "Our 'saving the world' abilities are mediocre at best."

"We did save the world before, Porky." Tsume called over his shoulder, and I could hear the humor in his voice.

"Well, let's not die this time." Snow cuffed Hige's ear at his words, looking over at me before rolling her eyes. I forced myself to move forward once more, determined to revel in the knowledge that we were about to save the world a second time like everyone else, but the impending sense of doom within me grew with every step I took.

Snow looked over at me again as I approached, leaving Hige's side to wind her lithe body around my legs with a loud purr. "Aren't you excited?" She asked excitedly. "This is what you left home for! After this, we can finally go back."

"Yeah." I said absentmindedly, not failing to notice how Hige stilled slightly at her words.

Going back to my family wasn't something we'd really discussed much as of late. In the beginning, it was all I wanted to do, save the world before returning home. But I hadn't known them back then. I didn't remember how safe I felt with them, how accepted and _real _I felt.

I was torn between my wolf family and my human one, the old and the new. I couldn't imagine a way I could have both. My mother surely wouldn't allow me to be with them by myself if I ever returned to Fairfield.

I stifled a growl of frustration. I knew where my loyalties were supposed to lie, where they had before Darcia shot me. But now my loyalties were almost as divided as my very being. Hold on to the past or look to the future? Both options were equally terrifying.

"I can't wait to see the look on Hiro's face when you tell him we saved the world!" Snow laughed, jumping out from underneath my legs, landing crouched in front of Hige with her teeth bared in a mock snarl. "He'll never try to hit you again."

Hige pushed himself onto his haunches, batting at her lazily with one paw, amusement apparent in his eyes. I saw the love hidden in their amber depths as well, something Hige was trying desperately to hide for Snow's sake.

It wasn't fair to ask for her to reciprocate those feelings when she still hadn't accepted her identity. But I believed that maybe, in time, Snow would be able to return Hige's feelings without remembering their history together. A love like that would truly be meant to be.

"Hold on." All three of us turned as Kiba spoke, and when I saw how his fur stood on end, I wondered if he was starting to feel the unease that I had. "Something's wrong."

"What do you mean?" Tsume demanded, golden eyes sharp and alert as he observed our surroundings. His gaze moved to the fog first.

"Smell the air."

I did as I was told without hesitation, lifting my muzzle slightly as I sniffed the air cautiously. At first, the scent of flowers and water was the only thing I could detect, but as time passed, a foul scent reached my nose.

"Ugh," Snow said in disgust, shaking her head slightly, pawing at her muzzle. "What _is _that?"

Kiba shook his head slightly. "I don't know. Cheza, what is – "

The Flower Maiden, who had done nothing but spin in circles and laugh the entire time we'd been here, froze rather suddenly at Kiba's words, arms still in the air on either side of her. I thought everyone was holding their breath as they waited for her to speak.

"It is poisoned." I stiffened at her words, staring at Cheza with eyes so wide they started to water. My dream… the one I hadn't thought about in such a long time. Airi had said the exact same thing.

"What's poisoned?" I croaked, earning myself a curious glance from everyone in the clearing.

"The world. The Lunar Flowers. Everything." Cheza replied, her voice completely void of its usual perkiness and cheer. This was serious.

"Where are the Lunar Flowers?" Hige inquired, gazing around the meadow. "I haven't even smelled one yet."

Slowly, Cheza moved her right arm to point directly in front of her. The way her arms were positioned reminded me eerily of a clock. "In there."

My heart sank in my chest. She was pointing into the fog. Snow's ear twitched as she stared into the dark haze. "Do we have to go in there or something?" She asked.

"Yes." Cheza replied, turning around to face us fully, dropping her arms. There was a deep frown on her face, which was something I'd never seen before. "But that is a dark place."

"Dark place?" Kiba echoed. "What do you mean?"

Cheza sat down slowly, beckoning us forward with a dainty wave of her hand. Snow migrated over to my side, blue eyes swimming with anxiety. I wanted to reassure her that everything would be all right, but that would've been a terrible lie on my part. If Cheza was expressing her worry over the situation so openly, something bad must have been going on.

"The world is poisoned, yes." Cheza said, worrying her fingers together in her lap. "But This One does not know why."

I was surprised by the revelation. Cheza had seemed so all knowing, despite her slightly ditzy and cheerful attitude.

The Toboe I had met in Paradise claimed to know everything about everything. I wondered if I could unlock the part of his memories that could possibly tell me what was causing the chaos in the world.

"Beyond the fog is where the Lunar Flowers lay." Cheza continued. "This One can sense them, but they are ill."

"Ill?" Tsume repeated, tail swinging in agitation behind him. "What do you mean by that?"

"They are sick and weak." Her voice was soft and filled with melancholy, and a single tear slipped down her porcelain cheek slowly. "This One can hear their cries. They are fighting for the peace, for the stability, but they are overwhelmed. There is something beyond that fog that is killing them slowly."

"What do we do to stop it?" Snow demanded, and I was proud that she was so willing to help out. Maybe she did feel a connection to this mission of ours. Maybe somewhere, in a deep crevice of her mind, the part that was Blue was whispering for her to try. "Isn't there a way?"

"Someone has to go into the fog and fix whatever has been broken. The way to enter Paradise is within that fog." Cheza explained softly, and my gaze shifted into the dark haze behind her. "This One cannot, because it is poison to all Lunar Flowers." Kiba looked like he was about to say he would be the one to go in, but Cheza cut him off. "That fog is evil. Bad things reside within it. It takes your fears and makes them reality in your mind."

"This was never an issue before." Hige said, sounding worried. "Where did this thing come from?"

The Flower Maiden shook her head. "It has been within this valley for hundreds of years, slowly rotting the very core of the universe. Where it came from is unknown, what lies beyond it, aside from the Lunar Flowers, is unknown. But This One does know who caused it."

"Who?" Kiba and Tsume demanded at the same time.

There was no hesitation in Cheza's reply. "Darcia."

At the sound of his name, I fell to the ground, screwing my eyes shut as the sound of his laughter filled my ears once more. His eyes.

I felt a presence above me, Tsume's scent filled my nose, and while I wanted to feel better knowing that he was still protecting me, even after all this time, I couldn't allow myself to believe that he could save me from this.

"This One only knows because she can sense his aura." Cheza said, sounding almost apologetic. "He has invaded the Gateway to Paradise somehow and is killing the earth."

"But how?" Kiba growled, yellow eyes fixated on the fog firmly, his teeth bared in a vicious snarl as if Darcia were standing right in front of him. "How is he doing this?"

"Isn't he dead?" Hige yelped. "I mean… was he reborn like us?"

"A spirit so vile cannot be reborn." Cheza said with conviction. "He sealed his fate when he tried to forcefully enter Paradise. The cosmos disposed of him. His spirit was no more."

"But he's here." Tsume growled from above me, and I forced my eyes to open. He was here. The one man that I now feared more than anything was closer than I could've ever imagined. But why? "He couldn't have caused this if he wasn't still around."

Cheza offered no rebuttal, and we all sat in a tense sort of silence for a good while. Tsume never moved once from his position above me, and for that, I was grateful. I needed something familiar to grasp onto in that moment, because everyone else seemed so far away. Even Snow was out of my reach, sitting beside Cheza as the girl stroked her fur slowly.

For some reason, I felt more alone in that moment than I ever had before. I pushed my head firmly into Tsume's right leg at the thought.

"I'm going in." Kiba said eventually, taking a few steps forward. "Darcia and I have unfinished business to attend to."

"No." Kiba froze as Cheza spoke. "You cannot go in Kiba."

"Cheza – "

"Only one of you can go." Cheza stated calmly, picking up Snow and placing her in her lap. Snow offered no resistance, though the look she gave me told me she wasn't too keen on being handled like a real cat any longer. "Figure it out."

And she smiled sweetly then, the same kind of smile she'd offered when I asked her why we waited until I had remembered my death to come to this place.

And then it clicked.

My mouth ran dry, the thudding of my heart slowing down to the point where I could hardly tell if it was still beating with life. I moved my head away from Tsume's leg, lifting it so the tips of my ears were brushing the fur on his chest.

"It's me, isn't it?" I said, though it wasn't much of a question. My dreams all made sense to me now. The running, the fog, the Lunar Flowers. They'd been preparing me all my life. This was my purpose. "I have to go in."

"Absolutely not." Kiba said, just as Tsume and Hige snapped, "No way," and "Not a chance," respectively.

Snow looked shell-shocked, still held tightly in Cheza's arms, and now I understood why Cheza had decided to hold her. Snow appeared frozen in every aspect of the word. The Flower Maiden incapacitated her, because she knew if Snow managed to get a hold of me, she would never let me go.

"Toboe will not be as affected by the fog as you all." She explained through the words of protest. "It prevents normal beings like Kiba to enter, even if he is the Chosen One. Toboe, however, spent excess amounts of time in Paradise and is more in tune with its energy than anyone else. He is as close to a divine being as we are going to get aside from This One, who cannot go in due to the poison. He will still be affected, but not as severely. Once he has gotten rid of the problem, we will all be able to enter."

"There's no way we're sending Toboe in there." Tsume said, muscles tense as if he was prepared to physically restrain me should I try to move out from underneath his legs. "He's already terrified enough without the damn fog as it is. Going in there could mess with his mind."

"And no one wants that." Hige added, lips slowly beginning to curl into a snarl. "I'm not going to let him be exposed to that kind of torture."

"Does it really matter, though?" I asked softly, averting my gaze as they all swung around to look at me with eyes filled with anger and intensity. "I mean… compared to the safety of the world, I'm not that important."

Hige jumped to his paws, a growl escaping him. "Maybe you think like that, but we don't. This world is doomed no matter which way we look at it! We saved it once, and it's happening again. Humans are just terrible."

I shook my head. "No, it's Darcia's fault. This has nothing to do with humans." Slowly, I crawled out from underneath Tsume, who offered no resistance. He did move to stand in front of me, however, looking determined and wary. "I thought we were going to fix this, no matter the cost." After a moment's hesitation, I added, "It's not like I'm going to die or anything."

"No, you don't understand." Hige said, shaking his broad head fiercely. The look in his eyes was absolutely feral. "Living in that fear isn't like being dead. It's worse. You can't escape. You're forced to live through it over and over, day after day. It never ends, Toboe! If you go in there, if something happens and we can't help you – "

"You're going to lose yourself to it." Kiba interjected, stalking forward to stand beside Tsume. My eyes narrowed, lips pulling back into a small snarl. I wasn't going to let them intimidate me out of doing this. Even if they couldn't see it, I was doing this for them. It had always been for them. "You'll never be the same."

"So be it." I barked. "If I don't do this, we're letting Darcia win, and that's something we can't afford. You beat him once, but he still ended the world with his greed. I'm not going to let him do it again."

My words didn't have the intent I wanted. If anything, they only looked more determined to keep me trapped. I released a growl of frustration, looking to Cheza for help. She only gave me a small smile. It seemed I was on my own to make them see reason.

"I'm afraid of a lot of things." I said slowly, blinking past the burn in the back of my eyes. "My nightmares, facing my family again, losing myself to my memories like Hige… but I'm more afraid of Darcia than anything. Tsume, you used to tell me not to run away from my problems. You said to face them head-on, that I was a wolf and I could handle anything. What happened? What changed?"

Tsume said nothing, but I noticed the waver in his stare. I swallowed thickly, taking a step forward. "Facing Darcia is something I _need_ to do. If that thing attacks my fears then… he'll be there. If I ever want to stop hearing his voice and seeing his eyes, I need to go in there and face him head-on like you taught me. Please, let me do this."

Kiba and Tsume didn't move, didn't even blink, but after a moment, Kiba took a small step back, followed by another, then another. "I understand that you feel like you need to do this." He said lowly. "I just hope you're prepared for what might happen while you're in there."

I didn't say anything, because I was nowhere near ready to face all of my fears at once. I wasn't prepared, and if there were another option, I wouldn't have volunteered to do this at all. But I was the only one able to brave the fog somewhat safely.

Tsume growled in resignation, moving away just as Kiba had done. He didn't say anything, though I knew he just couldn't find the right words to say to me. Saying goodbye was never easy, even if you knew you would see them again once all was said and done. But what version of Toboe would they see when I returned?

I brushed past the two of them quickly, lest I lose my nerve and tremble like a pup just as I had moments ago. Hige was shifting his weight from paw to paw anxiously, a small whine escaping his jaws every now and then. I blinked at him warmly, trying to convince him that I would be fine.

"If something happens, just remember that it's not real." Hige said quickly as I passed.

"I'll remember." I promised, glancing over at Snow who was still paralyzed in Cheza's hold. With a stern look, I said, "Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone."

Standing so close to the fog was intimidating to say the least. Knowing that I would be attacked by all of my fears didn't exactly motivate me, but I was determined to fix this problem to the best of my abilities.

So, I stepped in without looking back.

The thick mist didn't dissipate, and as I continued, I had to tell myself to keep walking in a straight line, lest I lose my way and never get out of this place.

The silence was intimidating, the only sound being my heavy pants as I struggled to keep a cool head. I kept expecting something to jump out at me from nowhere, but nothing of the sort happened. With a small sigh, I wondered if the fog was attacking my fear of being alone first.

A bang pierced the silent air, followed by a yelp and a thud as I hit the ground. Pain erupted in my left leg, and I shifted my body slowly to turn my head and look at it.

I stared in surprise and horror as blood began to soak my fur. Slowly, just as I had in the cage before Pops rescued me, I leaned forward and licked at the wound carefully, able to taste the blood, smell the iron.

The pain was bearable, but as time wore on, a slow burn started to seep through my injured limb. My eyes widened with the realization that I had been shot. _When Cheza said this fog makes your fears a reality, she meant it._

Instead of whimpering out loud like I wanted to, I pushed myself up once more, repeating over and over that none of this was real, just like Hige had told me. But the pain felt real, and after a few more seconds of walking, I couldn't put any weight on my leg at all.

I paused, pushing the pain to the back of my mind as I looked around. Wandering around aimlessly would get me nowhere, especially when I wasn't even sure what I was looking for. The ground beneath my paws was soft, even if I couldn't see it, so I figured it was grass. If I was looking for the Lunar Flowers, then they would be growing in grass, right?

I took another step forward, only to recoil when a fierce hiss sounded. My ears flattened against my head as I backed away from the black serpent coiled neatly in front of me, beady black eyes unblinking as its forked tongue flicked out of its mouth.

Panic overcame me as it started to uncoil, slithering towards me with every intention to bite. I knew it wasn't exactly real, but what with the bullet still lodged in my leg, I wasn't about to let myself get bitten by a poisonous snake.

Despite my injury, I leapt over the snake before it had a chance to react and dashed forward as fast as my injury would allow me. I'd been afraid of snakes ever since I was little, when I was bitten by a garter snake while playing in my backyard. It wasn't a debilitating phobia, but the sight of one, even in a book or on TV, would always send a shiver down my spine.

"This is ridiculous." I huffed as I slowed down, my left leg tucked up against my body. I hoped that once I got rid of the fog, the bullet would disappear.

After taking a few deep breaths to calm my frazzled nerves, I sniffed the air curiously, wondering if I would sense anything at all in this land of fear.

To my utter surprise and delight, I caught the scent of Lunar Flowers. But something was off about it. Unlike when I'd smelled Cheza for the first time, the scent didn't calm me down nor did it smell delicious. That same aroma was present, but it was accompanied by something more pungent and vile.

The flowers really _were_ sick.

I kept my head close to the ground as I moved forward once more, my sensitive nose brushing against short strands of green grass as I tried to locate exactly where the scent was coming from. I only stopped when I felt something crunch beneath the pad of my paw.

Lifting it slowly, I eyed the crushed, dead plant before me curiously. The stalk was withered and brown, the petals equally so. The ground beneath it was cracked and dry. There was no doubt in my mind that it had once been a Lunar Flower.

Lifting my head, I looked around. I'd broken through the thick mist and into a clearing that resembled a desert, though there was no sand, just cracked earth. There were flowers all over, some dead and others on the brink. Only a few retained their green stem and white petals.

The clearing itself was surrounded by more fog, so I came to the conclusion that this was the heart of the strange land I'd wandered into. There was a lot of space for me to work with though, and with a sinking feeling in my stomach, I realized that finding the problem was going to be even more complicated than I thought.

Limping toward a group of Lunar Flowers that were still somewhat alive, I observed them critically, looking for any signs that could tell me what was going on. They had that same sweet scent that Cheza carried, accompanied by that foul odor I'd detected earlier. But other than that, nothing looked out of the ordinary.

"You're looking in all the wrong places, you know."

I yelped as a voice sounded from behind me, and I spun around, stumbling into the flowers. Toboe looked amused, tail waving behind him in obvious delight.

"Oh, it's you." I breathed, muscles sagging in relief. "But what are you doing here?"

He moved forward, bending his head to sniff at the flowers beneath my paws. "Good question. Couldn't you tell that we separated as soon as you set foot in this fog?"

I blinked, trying to recall if anything out of the ordinary had happened. I still remembered things from my past life, so if he'd been separated from me, how would I have noticed?

"No, I didn't." I said, flinching as he sniffed curiously at the bullet wound in my leg, giving it a lick. "But why are you here now? How could we possibly separate?"

Toboe pulled away from me, amber eyes filled with hatred. Apparently he had his emotions back. "Darcia." He snarled, fur fluffing up so he looked twice is normal size. "This is his doing."

My blood ran cold. "What do you mean?"

"What Cheza said was true. I'm more in tune with Paradise's energy than anyone else other than her. My essence would protect you in here, and Darcia was all too aware of that."

"So, what'll happen now?"

"I wanted to protect you." He said sadly, ears flattening against his head as if he were ashamed. "I don't want you to suffer like Hige does with the memories. I've tried so hard to keep those things from you, but my grip on them is starting to loosen."

"I _want_ to remember, though." I said firmly. "It's the only way to get you, _us, _our life back."

Toboe only looked annoyed. "How many times do I have to tell you that this isn't about me anymore? Why should I burden you with things from my past? It is my baggage to carry."

"What happened to us being the same being?"

"Yeah, well," Toboe said crossly, one ear twitching in annoyance, "I'm not as logical as I was in Paradise. I don't know what I ever saw in being divine."

Unable to help myself, I laughed, butting my head against his affectionately. I was glad to have someone familiar in a place as terrible and frightening as this, even if I still wasn't sure why he was here, or how Darcia had managed to separate us.

But I had thought Darica was long gone, his spirit destroyed when he'd tried to enter Paradise. How had he managed to have so much control over this place?

"This place is evil, like Cheza explained." Toboe muttered. "It expels those like me and poisons us, makes us weak. When the two of us were together, you protected me just as much as I protected you. Your mundane aspects complimented by inhuman ones rather nicely."

"But now?"

"We're on our own." The wound on my leg started to throb intensely as he spoke. "Being separated leaves you more vulnerable than ever to the effects of this place. If you thought what happened to you before was scary, just wait. Not to frighten you, but things are going to get much worse once I disappear."

"Disappear?" I echoed worriedly.

He nodded. "Like I said, this place is poison to me. In a few short minutes, I'm going to disappear. I'm already starting to fade. See?" He lifted a paw, and even though he still looked pretty much solid, I could see the faint glow in his fur.

"What will happen to you?" I whispered, locking eyes with a pair identical to my own. "I – I don't want to be alone."

Amber eyes filled with an affectionate sort of warmth as Toboe pressed his muzzle against mine. "I'll never leave you." He said sincerely. "I may be gone for a little bit, but once you destroy this plague, I'll return. This place only causes illusions, after all. It'll be like nothing ever happened once this is taken care of."

"Where will you go?"

"Now that is a question I don't know the answer to."

I supposed not knowing was better for the both of us. "Well, do you know what's causing this?" I inquired.

Toboe blinked thoughtfully, staring down at the dead flowers below us. "I never even knew a place like this existed, to be honest with you. And that alone is disturbing, because there was nothing I didn't know about. This place was beyond Paradise's reach, even if this was once part of the Gateway to Paradise. But now I know why I was so alone and unfeeling."

"What do you mean?"

"With this place being so close to Paradise, it's no wonder it had some less than positive affects on it." Toboe mused, looking almost sad. "Darcia is a bitter man, always has been. If he couldn't enjoy Paradise and we could, he was going to make us despise it. Paradise is supposed to be a fresh start, a new future, but he took that image to the extremes. He cursed those who dwelled within it by making it too perfect. He grabbed hold of the sanctuary we all so desperately wanted to find and made it so we couldn't do anything but be happy.

"That was my curse, the bane of my existence. It wasn't always like that, mind you. I remember when I first entered Paradise. Granny was there to greet me, and I was so happy to see her again, you have no idea. But I was sad, too, because the others weren't there to enjoy it with me. I could _feel_ in the beginning, Toboe. I was still a fourteen-year-old that loved to have fun and be happy, but I could still ache for the things I had lost. But as time went on, that disappeared, and I became something less than real."

He moved past me, and I said nothing as I watched him walk forward, seemingly more transparent than he'd been before. I could see the grief within him, the anger that had been dormant for so long because of the one man that had stolen my peace of mind. Darcia had taken everything from this wolf before me. Looking at him made me all the more determined to fix this mess.

"How can you ever be too happy?" I heard him murmur. "I never thought it was possible, but… you might think me strange for saying this, but I enjoy being within this place, even if I'm going to disappear because of it. Fear is something I haven't felt in hundreds of years. Relish the feeling while you can, Toboe, because it can be taken from you in an instant. There is much truth in the saying, 'You never know what you have until it's gone.'"

I limped closer to him, nodding, because anything he said held truth in my eyes. He was still vulnerable in all aspects of the word, yet he held so much knowledge and experience that no kid his age should be able to posses. I felt so sorry for him, and I desperately wished he were still with me so I could protect him.

"We need to get moving." Toboe said eventually, giving his fur a brief shake, something I did whenever I wanted to clear my thoughts. "I don't have much time left, and you need all the help you can get."

I nodded, and the two of us moved forward together, synchronized as we walked. We truly were one in the same, just as he'd told me in Paradise that day.

I smelled water in the air, and much to my surprise, there was a pool of water in the midst of the cracked and dry ground. It was large enough to be called a pond, maybe, but the strangest part was the lone circle of ice in the middle of the water.

"You've been here before, you know." Toboe said as he followed my gaze. "In your dreams."

I stared at him incredulously, because up until then, I hadn't made the connection between this place and the dead land I'd seen in my dreams. I remembered that pool, but before, my reflection as a wolf had been within its depths, not ice.

"I always wondered what this place was." He continued. "I dreamed when you dreamed, but I was probably just as confused as you were. It was the only emotion aside from joy that I felt."

"Were my dreams preparing me for this?"

"In a way, yes. You know, Kiba was always the Chosen One, and he always will be in a sense, but this time around, I think the universe chose you to save it."

"I doubt that." I murmured. "No offense, but I'm only in this mess because of you."

"None taken." He replied off-handedly. " But I mean it. I always wondered why you were reborn as a human and not a wolf. Now I understand that it was all part of a bigger picture. You're sympathetic to both sides, Toboe. Hige blamed the humans for this mess back there. He may embrace pretending to be human for protection purposes, but he'll never think of himself as anything less than wolf.

"You on the other hand have been pushing for their safety ever since you learned about what needed to be done. You see yourself as both no matter how much you want to be a wolf in all aspects. But you'll always be a little bit human, and there's nothing wrong with that."

"Coming from someone who had an unhealthy attachment to humans, I'm not sure if your words are credible." I teased, earning myself a playful bite to the ear that I barely felt.

He was steadily losing shape. Time was running out for my other half. I could see through him now, and while this was a disheartening fact, it was also a blessing in disguise, for I saw something beyond him that could possibly fix everything.

"Toboe, look at those Lunar Flowers!" I exclaimed.

He turned, and the two of us ogled at the spectacle I'd stumbled across. The Lunar Flower itself looked normal enough, but its coloring was off.

The middle of the petals were violet, not white, and the color stretched out into what little white petal remained, making it look like sickly, purple veins were plaguing the flower.

The flowers surrounding it looked no better, though some were completely purple. Those looked the weakest, with browning leaves and stems.

"Cheza was right." Toboe murmured. "They _are_ being poisoned."

"But why?" I exclaimed, moving toward the group of flowers quickly and sniffing them. I recoiled, teeth bared in disgust. There was nothing sweet-smelling about those flowers. "What's Darcia doing to cause it?"

"I don't know, Toboe." I spun around at the sound of his voice, for it sounded so faint I could hardly hear it. It was almost a whisper in the wind. I could see his outline, the brown eyes that held a hint of fear in them, though I knew he relished in the feeling. He was scared of disappearing, but he was going to embrace it for as long as he could.

"Don't go!" I cried pathetically, even though this was something neither of us could stop. Terror was starting to overcome me, because I still didn't know what was happening, and without him, I was at the mercy of Darcia's wicked fog. I was already scared enough as it was.

Toboe shook his head, a small tremor working its way though his body from nose to tail. His image shimmered before me. "You're stronger than you think." He said. "I believe in you, Toboe, and so do the others. Prove to Darcia that no matter what he does, the Wolves of Legend will always be there to defeat him."

Pushing past the thickness in my throat, I nodded, shakily stating, "Okay. I'll bring you back, I promise."

"I know you will. But listen, Toboe. The affects of this fog won't go away overnight. That means that – "

I never did learn what that meant. Toboe didn't get the chance to finish, for he was cut off mid-sentence as he disappeared for good, leaving me with nothing but the notion that things were about to take a turn for the worse.

That was when my real Hell began.

A sound pierced the air, making my fur stand on end, and a terrified whimper forced its way out of my throat. It was a sound of simultaneous screams, some more pain-filled than others, but all familiar to me.

I lowered myself down to the racked ground, the coarse feel unpleasant on my soft underbelly, but I hardly cared. I screwed my eyes shut as the screams grew in volume and intensity, pressing my ears tightly against my skull in an attempt to muffle the noise. But they echoed in my mind, penetrating my already weakened state and leaving me a trembling mess amongst the group of poisoned Lunar Flowers.

I recognized every single one of them. Tsume's rough voice, Kiba's rich one. Hige's, which was filled with so much suffering and fear, and Snow's, whose shriek hurt both my ears and my heart. Cheza's was like a haunting wail, a shriek that could only belong to a supernatural being.

I could hear my mother. Kato and Hiro sounded similar, but Kato's was riddled with defiance and rage while Hiro's was helpless, frightened. Airi's was the worst. She never showed much emotion aside from anger and hate, but her scream was filled with the most emotion by far.

It also hurt the most, because she was screaming _my_ name.

Then as suddenly as they began, the screams stopped. But the peace was short-lived, for I heard a loud thud just as the scent of blood filled my nose.

I opened my eyes slowly, coming face to face with a pair of eyes I hadn't seen in so long. "Mom." I whimpered, crawling forward hastily as I approached her mangled and blood-soaked body, forgetting that none of this was reality.

She was naked, and her blue eyes were wide open, sightless, red in places where blood vessels had burst. The corners of her mouth were stained bright red, and her throat was torn open, more blood soaking the dry ground beneath her.

"Mom, wake up." I said, my voice cracking, shaking her with my paw fiercely, which only made the blood flow faster. "Mommy, please, I'm sorry I left you, but you have to get up!"

I received no reply, not that I was expecting one, and my eyes blurred with tears that I couldn't shed. My body trembled with the urge to tilt my head back and howl, but I couldn't. It wouldn't come.

Looking around, I realized my mother wasn't the only fatality. Every single one of them was dead and naked, covered only in the blood that spilled from their bodies. Their lack of clothing had no affect on me, however, because all I could really look at were their eyes.

Tsume's golden ones that had looked at me with affection and an unshakable desire to protect, Kiba's blue ones that were carefully guarded and wary, but would always soften when he looked upon me or Hige, like a father looking out for his children, and Hige's brown ones, where I'd seen so much despair and fear and laughter, now nothing but an unfocused, clouded stare.

Snow was on my mother's other side, mouth still open from the screams, though her face was contorted in a frozen mask of rage. She'd died fighting, just like before. Along with her torn throat, there was a bloodied mess where her stomach once was, muscle and organs lying both on her body and the ground below her.

Bile rose in the back of my throat, and I had to look away lest I lose it completely. Cheza's blood was a sickly green color, and it stained her light pink hair. Hiro and Kato were side by side, Kato slumped over his twin as if he'd tried to protect him from whatever it was that had killed them. Their blood mingled, and I supposed it was a little consolation that the two had left this world just as they'd entered it, together.

But looking around the clearing, at all the devastation and heartbreak, I realized something was missing. _Airi._

I shakily got to my paws, desperate to find my sister. Maybe she was still alive, maybe I could save her. But when I turned, that small hope was crushed.

My sister was lying amongst a clump of Lunar Flowers, though unlike the others, she wasn't naked, and her throat wasn't cut. She was wearing the same white dress that I'd seen in my dreams, still covered in blood from head to toe. Her eyes were closed, hands folded neatly over her stomach as if she'd been carefully prepared for a funeral.

I limped over to her, pushing my muzzle into her cold hand. "This is all my fault." I rasped, a shudder coursing through me as I nosed my dead sister tenderly, maybe trying to coax her back to life. "I'm so sorry, Airi. I left home to protect you, _all_ of you, but I failed."

I failed. It was over. There was nothing left for me to protect, nothing left to fight for. Sinking down next to my sister, I wanted to let out a howl of loss. But it still wouldn't come, and I snarled weakly, furious that I was being denied that much.

But I supposed I didn't deserve it, seeing as I couldn't save them. They'd all protected me my entire life, doing the best they could for a boy half complete. And what had I done to repay them? I'd let them die.

"She was harder to kill, that one."

I lifted my head lethargically, my heart thudding almost painfully in my chest as I gazed upon the one thing I never thought I'd see in real life. A large, almost purple-furred wolf was standing beside Snow's lifeless body, one giant paw pressed against her side as he tore into her insides, creating deep groves in her otherwise flawless skin with his claws.

I watched, feeling ill, as he gorged himself on what had once been my best friend, his fur dampening with her blood and other bodily fluids. He didn't look at me, which was probably the only reason I wasn't cowering in fear. His eyes would be my undoing.

"She kept saying you would come for her." The wolf snarled as he spoke, tearing into Snow with renewed viciousness. "But in the end, she died of a heart attack. Too much stress for her Reborn body, I suppose."

"Why didn't you tear into her like the rest? Why is she so neatly placed?" I asked hollowly.

He paused in his meal, swiping his bloodied tongue across his jaws in thought. "Because she's important to you."

The statement was an obvious taunt, considering the fact that he was eating Snow as we spoke. And he looked up at me, sporting a wicked grin that no wolf should've been able to make. He looked absolutely wild and feral, a perfect combination of great poise and wickedness in his stare. It was obvious that he wasn't exactly right in the mind.

I was frozen as my eyes locked with his, that yellow and blue combination that had been haunting me for only a few hours but had managed to undo me completely. I cowered at the sight of them, a terrified whimper escaping me.

He went back to eating, and I could do nothing but watch. "I must admit, you do have, or _had_, a healthy group of supporters." He commented as if we were nothing more than friends having a casual conversation. "I've never seen so many dead loved ones."

"Why?" I asked, voice trembling with fear and apprehension. He was unstable, and anything could set him off. "Why'd you kill them? What did you have to gain?"

"Everything, you mutt." He said, and I flinched as he bit into Snow's ribcage, the crunch of bone echoing throughout the field. "You and your friends are the reason I lost Hamona. Your precious Paradise stole her from me." I held back the retort that Paradise hadn't been the key element in Hamona's demise. "I'm simply returning the favor. You cannot blame me for wanting to repay the kindness I was given during my life."

_Kindness. _I spat mentally. _You're eating my best friend right in front of me._

If I weren't so afraid, I would've attacked, but I knew nothing good would come of it. He had the advantage of size and brutality, and any fight the two of us engaged in would only end in my second death.

Darcia hacked suddenly, shaking his head fiercely with part of Snow's intestine still hanging from his mouth. "This one tastes terrible. Cats are much too stringy for my taste."

I growled lowly, and he glanced up at me, amusement present in his blue eye while the yellow one shone with annoyance. "Is the little puppy angry?" He inquired, tilting his head slightly. "I apologize, I never meant to make you upset."

"How could you?" I snarled, an anger I hadn't felt in a long time overcoming me. I slowly stood up, head hanging low as my entire body rumbled with a feral growl. "You couldn't stand the thought that someone else was happy, so you had to go and ruin Paradise?"

Darcia paused in his feast, removing his paw from Snow's mangled flesh. "Ruined? I merely enhanced the experience. Was Paradise not to your liking?"

"You stole our chance at having a better life! That's all we wanted, a place to start over after all the Hell you put us through. Being stuck in an endless void of happiness isn't much of a life."

"I remember the runt from before saying that he just wanted everyone to be happy." Darcia mused, shaking out his fur. Drops of blood dotted the ground as he did so. "I see you're not that much alike. That's why he was expelled from this place while you remained. He was too pure, whereas you're stained with despair. I don't see you jumping to save your friends like he did. Afraid of being shot, are we?"

My leg throbbed at the words, a silent reminder that he was right. "I may not be as pure as he is, but I'm just as determined as him to see you with your head hanging in defeat."

But my words held no bite. With my friends dead, there was nothing for me to fight for. The reason I'd come into this place was lost to me now. But then again, nothing mattered now that their blood was seeping into the land.

"You're a feisty little pup, aren't you?" Darcia chuckled, menace present in his voice as he stepped over Snow's body, moving closer to me.

My growls ceased as he moved closer, and I found myself moving back, stumbling over Airi's body as I did. But he just kept coming, and sooner or later, I was going to run out of room. There was absolutely nowhere to hide.

"You're not real." I said shakily, though I didn't know why. The fear he was inducing was real enough. Why was he any different? "You're _not_ real."

"I killed you first before." Darcia said, all mirth gone and replaced by malice and hate, the blood dripping from his maw making him look all the more dangerous. "Because you got in my way. You were merely a small pest that needed to be exterminated, and you were no longer a problem. But now… now you're a real nuisance, the one thing that threatens my Paradise. I gave you the happiness you so desired, and _this _is how you repay me? I've killed your friends, little pup. How does that make you feel? Are you happy _now_?

"Well, if happiness is no longer your wish, I am more than happy to expose you to the wonders of despair. Relish in the emotion, mutt, because you're next. Join your friends in that land of happiness, because it won't be happy for long. I'll give you all the emotion you want! You want to feel fear? I'll _make_ you feel fear. You want to suffer from starvation? I'll _make_ you starve! And I'll separate all of you so you have to live in that despair for the rest of your existence, until the End of Days, because it's fast approaching, little one."

"You're insane." I said, and his pace increased.

He was coming for me. My End Day was fast approaching, and I was looking it right in the eye. But then I remembered something. My gaze left Darcia's, shifting over to the pond.

In my dream, that pond had given me insight to my true identity. If my dreams had been preparing me for this, did the water hold any answers? I couldn't remember what it was exactly that I was looking for, but I was going to exhaust every possible way, because it was either that or death. And I was going to prolong that as long as I could.

I shifted my gaze to Darcia quickly before bolting for the water, confident that I would reach it long before he would despite my injury.

"Where are you running to, little wolf?" He called after me, still walking towards me, but not running.

I jumped into the water, though it only reached the top of the fur on my stomach, and lurched toward the ice, knowing that if anything were in this pond, it would be in the ice.

I placed my front paws on the frozen circle and heaved myself up a bit, staring into it through narrowed eyes. When I heard Darcia's enraged snarl, I knew I'd stumbled across something important.

Underneath the ice laid an eye. A yellow wolf's eye.

I stared at it, and the only thought that ran through my mind was that it was poison and needed to be removed, yet I didn't remember why. Able to hear the thudding of Darcia's paws against the ground as he ran for me, I knew I was running out of time.

I reared up on my hind legs, bringing my front ones down with brute force upon the ice. Nothing happened, and I did it again, a desperate whine escaping my jaws. It started to crack after a few tries, but I knew it wouldn't break in time. I was too weak and small to shatter the ice and dislodge the eye.

I clambered up onto the ice quickly, spinning around as my claws tried to find purchase on the slick surface. Darcia was closer than I thought, and I knew I would only have one chance to do this. He wasn't stupid, but he was manic and couldn't control himself when angered.

If I did this correctly, I might've been able to leave with my life. But I didn't care if I did, because everyone else was dead. There was nothing left for me, but I could still do this much for the world I would be leaving behind.

"You're wrong about one thing!" I snarled. "If you do send me to Paradise, _nothing _you do will keep me from them. We'll suffer through the pain together, and that is something you'll _never _be able to take away from us."

And with a mighty snarl, Darcia leapt.

* * *

><p>"Toboe, please, wake up!"<p>

"Is he still breathing? Is he – Is he having an episode or something?"

"Cheza, you said nothing bad would happen to him!"

I felt like I was underwater. The voices flooding my ears were muffled, and my fur felt damp and clung to my body, making me uncomfortable. Slowly, I opened my eyes, coming face to face with blue eyes and white fur.

"Oh, Toboe!" Snow cried pathetically, pressing her forehead against mine as she trembled against me, pain present in her voice. "You're alive. I thought – I thought you were – "

Groaning in confusion, I pulled away from her, my head coming into contact with a firm body instead. Hige's scent was all around me, and I realized he was standing above me, and we were lying in water, or at least I was anyway. It wasn't much and barely covered the top of Hige's paws, and I wondered if we were still in the pond.

I stared up at Hige in wonder, taking in the fear I saw in his amber eyes. "You're alive?" I asked lethargically, leaning my head back into Hige's leg. There was no blood on his body, and Snow was no longer covered in her own organs. Tsume was standing over Snow, and Kiba was pressed tightly to Hige's other side. The five of us were so close together, and I couldn't help but feel relieved, yet I was still confused. "I thought… Darcia killed you, didn't he?"

Hige released a shaky breath, nuzzling his nose into the fur on my neck. "No, Toboe, he didn't kill us. We're all okay, it wasn't real."

"It wasn't real?" I murmured, letting my eyes droop as Hige continued to nuzzle and lick me, probably trying to reassure me as well as himself that I was alright. I caught the sight of Cheza sitting at the edge of the water. The ground was no longer cracked and stained with blood, but lush with green grass. She smiled at me, rolling something around in the palm of her hand. I realized it was Darcia's wolf eye. I ignored it for the time being, instead relishing in the fact that my friends were indeed alive. "But it felt like it."

"I know, Toboe." Hige murmured sympathetically. "I know."

"What happened?" Tsume asked, voice riddled with fatigue and sorrow. "What did you see?"

"I got shot." I said, exhaustion overcoming me as I let my head fall back into the water, earning a concerned whine from Hige. "The entire time I was in here, I could hardly walk on it, it hurt so badly. Are you telling me that wasn't real?"

"Nothing was." Kiba said, and the sound of his voice had the affect on me that Cheza's normally did. "Everything you saw and felt was only a hallucination."

I resisted the urge to say that not everything had been an illusion. Toboe had been real, of that I was certain. I wondered if he had come back to me, but somehow, I knew he had. He'd promised to never leave, and I believed him. I was certain I'd see him again someday.

"He killed all of you." I said, heaving a huge sigh. "He ate Snow right in front of me." Snow stared down at me with eyes so filled with emotion it was almost overwhelming. I decided to leave out the things he'd said to me, because I wasn't ready to talk about that yet. His words would haunt me forever, and I wanted them to know what it was that he'd been trying to do, but I would spare them that knowledge for a while yet. "I ran into the pond and tried to get his eye out of the ice… and everything is a blank. I don't know what happened after that."

"We were waiting for you to come back when the fog dissipated." Kiba explained as Hige and Tsume helped me sit up, each of them pressed close on either side of me. "We ran in here and found you laying unconscious in this pool with Darcia's eye in your mouth."

I growled lowly, not liking the idea of that foul man's eye being anywhere _near_ me.

"Cheza said it was what was poisoning the Lunar Flowers." Snow said quietly, dabbing at the water absentmindedly with her paw. "But you fixed it, Toboe."

I didn't feel like the hero in this. I only remembered how terrified I'd been when Darcia had been running at me. I'd wanted him to break the ice surrounding his eye in his rage-induced state, and I assumed it had worked, but how did the eye end up in my mouth, and why was I knocked unconscious?

I supposed it was a question I would never know the answer to, because the only ones who had been there to witness it were Darcia and myself.

"Darcia must have dislodged the eye." I said slowly. "But if he wasn't real, how did he do it?"

"Enough of his essence was contained in his wolf eye." We all looked over at Cheza as she spoke, looking so at peace among her fellow Lunar Flowers even if they were still filled with Darcia's poison. "That image you saw of him was real enough, though the things he was doing to us were not. He feasted on your fears, but now that his eye is no longer in the waters of Paradise, he is gone. Now we just need to dispose of this." She held up the yellow eye.

"How do we do tha – " Hige started to ask, but cut himself off as Cheza crushed it within her dainty fingers, a satisfied sort of grin appearing on her face.

"All done." She chirped.

I didn't give her actions a second thought, because I'd seen stranger. "What do we do now?" I asked, moving out from between Hige and Tsume and walking through the water toward Cheza slowly, Snow at my heels. The others stayed close, still worried that I would fall or something, but I was in no mood to be coddled. I wanted this over and done with. "How do we finish this?"

Cheza brushed the remnants of the eye from her hand, pushing herself up to stand before us. "This One is going to open up the Gateway to Paradise." She announced. "But she needs your help."

"We'll do whatever we can." Kiba said at my side.

Cheza nodded, turning to walk into the midst of the Lunar Flowers, stopping in a moderately sized patch of grass within the cluster that was void of all flower life.

"The Lunar Flowers will be weak for a long time after this. They have suffered through hundreds of years of poisoning. They will not be regenerated overnight. It will be hundreds of years before the affects of Darcia's essence will leave completely." Cheza explained. "But if This One Branches, then she will be able to prolong the End Days until all the Lunar Flowers are healthy again."

"Branches?" Hige echoed, shaking out his fur. "What does that mean?"

"She tried to do it before in the volcano after you guys died." Kiba said lowly. "But Darcia stopped her before she could take root. It's part of the reason the world froze over."

"This One needs you to howl." Cheza said, folding her hands together behind her back as she stood perfectly still in her patch of grass. "Lift your voices to the heavens and pray for the health of the world to return. It is not a full moon, and This One cannot Branch without one, but if you all were to howl, it would bring the essence of a full moon."

"Alright." Tsume said, and the four of us instinctively moved forward, each going to opposite sides of Cheza to form a circle around her. Snow trailed after me, looking somewhat hesitant.

"What am I supposed to do?" She asked. "I mean… I'm no wolf. I can't howl."

I beckoned her closer with a flick of my tail, trying to convince her that she wasn't alone as Cheza answered her question. "You are not a wolf yet, that is true. Just stay close to Toboe."

"How long do we have to do this?" Hige asked.

"Just long enough until This One is done Branching." Cheza said, closing her eyes. "This One enjoyed seeing you all again. She hopes you find everything you were looking for."

"Thank you for everything, Cheza." I said, focusing on Snow's weight against my side for a few moments before tilting my head back and releasing the howl I hadn't been able to express while in Darcia's fog.

I thought Snow could sense the pain I'd felt at seeing them all dead in my howl, for her weight grew even more intense as she pressed harder against me. My experience within Darcia's "Paradise" was something I was never going to forget.

It frightened me that he'd had so much control over us even in death, altering Paradise so it was essentially in a standstill of tranquility. Toboe had left the earth to start a new life only to have Darcia ruin it for him, and I felt so sorry for him. To be stuck their alone, feeling cheated and angry but unable to express it… that was something I hoped would never happen to me.

I was glad he was free of it, now in a place where he was no longer under Darcia's control and could feel like a normal wolf again.

I continued to howl for a few moments after the others had stopped, yet no one tried to stop me. They seemed to know that I needed this.

When my voice became so hoarse I simply couldn't continue, I stopped, lowering my head. A large tree was now in the place where Cheza once stood, the tattered remains of her light blue jumpsuit laying in a pile by the trunk. The tree was at least thirty feet tall, and the leaves were healthy and green, white Lunar Flowers free of Darcia's poison blooming all over.

I stared up at it in awe. The Gateway to Paradise was much more magnificent than I could've ever imagined.

"Cheza sure knows how to make an exit." Hige commented, head tilted back slightly as he stared up at the tree, tail swishing in the grass behind him.

"I must admit, I'm going to miss her." Tsume said with a slight sigh. "She made things interesting, that's for sure."

"Now what do we do?" Snow asked from beside me, looking slightly disturbed, blue eyes blown wide. She had watched the girl transform into a giant tree, after all. I could only wonder what she had witnessed.

"We can finally enter Paradise." Kiba said, standing up.

Tsume and Hige followed suite, but Snow and I stayed still. She looked apprehensive, probably worried that Paradise would reject her since she wasn't exactly a wolf anymore. I on the other hand didn't move for an entirely different reason.

Something was nagging at the back of my mind. I remembered what Toboe had said before he disappeared. _"I know you will. But listen, Toboe. The affects of this fog won't go away overnight. That means that – "_

And what Cheza had said before she Branched. _"The Lunar Flowers will be weak for a long time after this. They have suffered through hundreds of years of poisoning. They will not be regenerated overnight. It will be hundreds of years before the affects of Darcia's essence will leave completely."_

Toboe had been trying to tell me something, something important. And as I mulled it over, thinking about what the both of them had told me, I realized what he'd been trying to say.

"Wait!" I shouted, leaping to my paws as they started to approach the tree. "We can't!"

Kiba turned to regard me with cool yellow eyes. Tsume seemed curious and baffled. "Why not?" Tsume asked.

"I – I remember when I was in Paradise." I said quickly. It wasn't exactly the truth, but I couldn't tell them I had contact with the old Toboe, that we'd been separated briefly when I entered the fog. They'd probably accuse me of hallucinating again. "I couldn't feel anything other than happiness and joy."

"What's so wrong with that?" Hige asked, looking truly confused by my insistence that we not enter Paradise. "Sounds pretty legit to me."

I shook my head. "You don't understand. Being able to feel absolutely nothing is the worst. I was alone, and I longed for you guys to be with me, but you never came. I was alone for so long… and I couldn't do anything but feel happy. I was trapped, Hige, I was a prisoner to it like you are to the memories."

They didn't say a word, so I pressed on. "Darcia's eye poisoned Paradise. When I was talking with him, he told me that he was giving me what I wanted, a place where we could be happy and carefree. But he took it too far, he made it so it's all we can feel. You become something less than real when you can't express that kind of emotion for so long. What kind of life is that? That's no future, it's a prison!"

"But Darcia wasn't real." Tsume said. "He's been dead for hundreds of years. How could he alter Paradise like that?"

"Cheza said his eye alone was enough to keep a part of his spirit alive!" I snapped, irritated that they couldn't see what was wrong with this. "He ruined Paradise, and it won't be returned to normal for hundreds of years, like Cheza said."

"Why don't we just go in and wait it out there?" Hige asked, glancing over at the tree that had once been Cheza. "It's better than living out here and dealing with all this Reborn shit. Are you telling me you want to live in that fear? It's more of a prison out here than it is in there, I can assure you that."

"You have no idea, Hige." I said, my voice trembling. "But this is what I'm talking about. I came in here and faced Darcia directly. I didn't run away. I braved through it, and now the world is safe again. If we go into Paradise now, we'll be running away from this, and I'm tired of running. I ran away before to live with the Hmong tribe when we were looking for Kiba, I ran away from home when Hiro punched me, I ran away from you guys when you told me about what I am, and I ran away in the woods when Sasha was chasing us, even if I was trying to save you all. All running has done is hurt those around me, and I'm through with it.

"I didn't get to live my life before. I was fourteen when I sacrificed myself to save Pops, and I didn't get to experience the world the way I wanted to. We were given an _unbelievable_ opportunity to actually _do_ something with our lives this time, experience new things and make an actual difference in the world. Life isn't perfect, but it never is, no matter what world you live in. You have to work hard to make something out of it, and I'm not going to vanish into some land where I can't feel anything because I'm afraid of my own mind."

They were all staring at me, the expression in their eyes unreadable, and I growled lowly, taking a step away from them. Snow moved with me, a loud purr escaping her. She was probably just as proud of me as I was of her for handling all of this so well.

"You can all throw your second chance at living away, but I won't." I said. "I refuse to believe that I have no purpose now that the world is safe."

Kiba, Tsume, and Hige said nothing, and for a brief, delirious moment, I believed they would continue into Paradise without Snow and I behind them. I didn't want to lose them, but this wasn't something I was willing to give up. I'd fight tooth and claw to keep the life I'd been graced with. I owed it to Toboe and myself to do as much.

"I remember when you wouldn't even so much as think about defying us." Tsume said eventually, golden eyes filled with mirth and a hint of pride. "So much has changed."

I released a shaky breath of relief. "I just know more now."

"Nah, I think it's puberty." Hige commented off-handedly, backing away from the tree and giving his fur a slight shake. "Being happy is over-rated. Girls are more attracted to the troubled, brooding guys anyway."

"Oh, please." Snow huffed, rolling her eyes.

I laughed, but cut myself off just as quickly, because Kiba hadn't said anything yet. He was looking at the Lunar Flower tree intensely, his body unmoving aside from an occasional twitch of his ear.

"If we're not doing this, then you have to do what you said and try as hard as you can to not be prisoners." He stated eventually, and I knew he was talking to Hige just as much as he was me. "You don't deserve to be anything but happy."

The two of us nodded, and Kiba slowly backed away from the tree, turning to look at us fully. "Come on." He said. "Let's get out of here."

"Finally!" Hige cried, bounding past Kiba back towards the way we'd come. "I'm starving here!"

"What a surprise." Tsume said dryly, following after him at a brisk pace.

Snow turned to me as Kiba ran after them, looking up at me with clear eyes. "I never pegged you to be the type of wolf to give motivational speeches." She teased.

I rolled my eyes, nudging her forward gently. "It was a spur of the moment type of thing. Desperation can do that to a wolf. Now hurry up before I change my mind and jump head-first into that tree."

Snow huffed, knowing that I was kidding, and turned to follow the others out of the clearing, racing off in a streak of white. I shook my head with a sigh, unable to believe that I had just managed to convince them to abandon the idea of Paradise for now. Either they really didn't have much of an opinion on the matter, which I knew wasn't true, or they really did hold me in such high regard to want to please me no matter what.

Or perhaps they heard the truth behind my words. Giving up wasn't something the Wolves of Legend were known for, after all. We were nowhere near perfect, and there was a long road ahead of us until we could say we were finally out of Darcia's intense hold on our minds, but I was willing to work hard to prove to him that he wouldn't win this time, just as I'd told him before.

"Toboe, are you coming?" Hige called from the edge of the trees.

"Yeah, I'll be there in a second!" I called back, turning to look at the tree over my shoulder.

I was going to miss Cheza, just as Tsume had said. She'd accepted me for who I was and hadn't pushed me into remembering things. She'd simply waited until I was ready, despite Toboe's attempts at keeping things from me.

I appreciated the fact that he'd been trying to protect me, but this life was just as much his as it was mine. He didn't have to hold the burden of his life alone anymore. This would be a learning experience for him as well, even if he had been divine at one point.

"Thank you, Cheza, Toboe." I said softly. "Thanks for everything."

And as I turned to run after the others, I could have sworn I heard a giggle and a howl in the wind.


	25. Once Upon A Time

_A.N._ Single-handedly the longest chapter I've ever written for any story I've worked on, and I'm so proud of it. I hope you guys like it as much as I did. This story was fun to write, you guys have been so amazing, and I'm happy to present to you the **last **chapter of _Paradise Reborn._

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><p><em><strong>Epilogue: Once Upon A Time<strong>_

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><p>It was raining on the morning of my eighteenth birthday.<p>

I had no qualms with it, however, for the rain wasn't as morbid as it had been during my youth, a symbol that things were starting to take a turn for the worst.

Nowadays, the fog that engulfed the farm whenever a storm hit was a spectacle I would never grow tired of seeing. Snow and I would often sit in the barn's rafters and catch raindrops that leaked through the roof in our palms, sights set on the lake out in the pastures, marveling at how ominous it looked. We'd had an eye for ominous things ever since that day in the Gateway to Paradise two years ago.

I woke up when my alarm went off at eight, just as I did every morning, though today, I lay still among my sheets for a few moments as I allowed the mist wafting through my open window to settle on my body.

It felt nice, because this was by far the hottest summer we'd had in all the time we'd spent on the farm. Our only source of relief was the lake, but some kind bacteria had infected the water, causing fever to spread among those who happened to swallow any while swimming.

We'd almost lost a few of the younger wolves that were too weak to fight the infection without special care. The officials at the WRA had sent out someone to decontaminate it, but we wouldn't be able to swim in the lake until the end of the summer.

After turning off my alarm clock, I forced myself out of bed, stifling a yawn as I padded across the wood panels on my floor and shut the window after taking a quick look outside. Nothing seemed to be out of the normal, and no one was wandering around the premises that shouldn't have been.

After we'd left the Gateway to Paradise, we really hadn't known what to do with ourselves. Returning to Fairfield had been our only plan, but a few hours after we'd left Paradise Forest, we received a phone call from Kiba's brother.

Dante said not to worry about the police looking for us anymore, that he would handle everything, but it would probably be in our best interest not to come back home until after everything had settled down.

He'd hung up soon after, leaving us confused as to his reasoning behind the call, yet we were even more confused as to what we would do if we couldn't go home. It was Snow who'd brought up the idea of returning to the farmhouse.

At the time, we'd agreed with her simply because we had nothing else to do. The farmhouse was in a rather secluded area, and aside from it being the place where I'd first remembered my death, we'd had a lot of fun there.

We stayed for a few days in a tense sort of haze, making small talk with one another that was almost too painful to bear. Since when had any of us made small talk?

It was Hige who'd spoken up about the change in our pack and ultimately brought us to the point we were at today, two years later. "Toboe said we have to do something with our second chance at life, right?" He'd said one night over dinner, a young buck Tsume and I had come across while we were wandering aimlessly in the woods. "So, why are we sitting here doing nothing?"

His words had hit all of us hard, me especially, because up until then, I hadn't really put much thought into the words I'd spouted at the others when they'd suggested we enter Paradise. We had been given new life for a reason, and I refused to believe that once we'd fulfilled that purpose, we'd simply be hollow shells with no drive.

But in those first few days at the farmhouse, we hadn't had a drive at all. I was still recovering from my mental trauma, Snow was struggling to figure out who she was in the world, and the others were just as battered as I was, only worse. Hige's words made me realize that we were doing what I was most afraid of – giving up.

What does one do with oneself after they save the world? After experiencing all that we had, returning to a normal life just wasn't possible. Everything seemed rather dull and pointless compared to other things I'd done in both my lives, so I could no longer sit around and do nothing of importance, not when there was so much going on around me that I could do, if I only put effort into it.

I wanted to live my life in a way I hadn't been able to before, naturally, but I also wanted to make a difference in this chaotic Reborn world that my friends and I had, in a sense, created.

That being said, we rebuilt the farmhouse. We started with the barn, which was more rundown than the house, and we simply replaced everything that was broken. We didn't start fresh, tear the whole thing down and destroy what little value may have been left within it.

In that barn, I saw a bit of myself, a hollow shell that had once been filled with productivity and warmth. I didn't see myself as a once empty shell, however, only a new body created with old parts that only time and effort could repair.

So, that's what we did. We repaired the barn, didn't start fresh, and it was now where I spent a good majority of my time. The place was symbolic to me now, and every time I looked upon the fresh wood mixed in with the old, I thought about my own body, which had been carried over from my past life but was now littered with scars from the new, fresh memories piling over the old ones.

Age had turned me a little sentimental, I supposed.

After we'd repainted and furnished the house, we talked about what we were going to do with it. Kiba had spoken with Dante about it, and his brother had looked up the records of the abandoned home in the country.

Apparently the previous owners had filed for bankruptcy and had turned the entire farm over to the bank in Solerno, but no follow-up work had been done with the place, so it had been vacant for over fifty years.

It was safe to assume no one would return, but even so, Kiba arranged for the place to be bought under his name. Being the son of a high-ranking WRA official did have its perks, it seemed.

There was so much land involved with the property, and we hadn't wanted the entire area to go to waste, so we opened it up to wolves like us, the ones that were struggling to adjust to life as a Reborn and couldn't do it behind the white walls of the WRA.

Such walls were necessary for some cases, but others – like Hige, for example – needed wide open space and a peaceful setting to help them come to terms with what had happened to them, not the smell of chemicals and the pressures of doctors dressed in white, and who better to help them than the Wolves of Legend themselves?

Only a few came to stay at the farm at a time, because having too many "dogs" would make the authorities suspicious, and there was only so much Dante and Kiba could do when it came to keeping our tracks covered. The need for secrecy was a must, because there were still those out there that would love nothing more than to harm wolves, like those men that had attacked Hige and I outside the bar all those years ago. It really did feel like a lifetime had passed since then – no pun intended – when it had really only been a little over two years.

I grabbed a gray t-shirt from the floor, pulling it over my head and grabbing my bracelets from my nightstand before making a move to leave the room. I wasn't in the mood to search out a pair of pants, and no one was up at this hour to see me in my boxers anyway.

I raised my arms in a long, luxurious stretch as I left the comforts of my bedroom, walking downstairs to the kitchen for breakfast before I moved on with my day. The walls in the kitchen were a dark blue, all the appliances a gray, stainless steel.

There was absolutely no white in our house at all. I'd been to the WRA once with Kiba when we went to get more medicine for Hige a few months after I faced Darcia. All that white had been slightly daunting, and after all the time Hige had spent in that place, the color always did something to him whenever there was a lot of it. So we avoided the color if at all possible.

I opened the fridge with a slight sigh, not exactly sure what I was looking for. My last run to the store in Solerno had been last week, and with Hige around, nothing stayed uneaten for long.

I shook my head in amusement, staring into the fridge as the sound of someone coming down the stairs filled my ears. I didn't bother to turn, however, for those footsteps were almost as familiar to me as the sound of my own voice. "Tell your boyfriend he needs to go to the store soon. We're running on rations here."

The stool in front of the granite island we'd installed in the middle of the kitchen screeched as it was moved, creaking as its current occupier sat down. "Seriously? The day I let Hige shop on his own will be when Paradise freezes over."

I turned, giving Snow a cheeky grin as she stared at me with mirth and exhaustion in her blue eyes, polished blue fingernails drumming against the counter before her. She was wearing nothing but a bright pink sports bra and a pair of loose-fitting gray sweatpants, but I was hardly fazed. The worst of my hormonal adolescent wolf years had come and gone.

Like myself, my best friend had gone through some significant changes in the two years since we'd saved the world. Even after so much time had passed, she still wanted nothing to do with regaining her memories as Blue. She never had nightmares or gave any indication that she was seeing flashes like I had, but the one thing she had embraced was being able to actually _be _a wolf.

I thought she'd gotten fed up with being the weakest and the smallest out of all of us, so around the same time the two of us had turned seventeen, she asked me if I would help her unlock her wolf side.

At first, I wouldn't do it, because I thought that if she turned into a wolf, she would regain her memories like I had. She was determined, though, and after months of prodding and arguments, I finally conceded. But I had no idea how to help her since Cheza had turned me into a wolf by kissing me, and there was no way I was going to kiss Snow, not that it would help since I was no longer divine.

Hige had offered to help in that department, but at that time Snow was in no mood to be toyed with and slapped him for the suggestion.

Kiba suggested we work on her instincts first, but after a few weeks of lessons, there was still no change. Having exhausted every possible way to help her that we knew of, Kiba had called Dante and asked how to jump start a Transformation.

His answer hadn't been exactly complex, but it was more detailed than we'd expected. "Just have her fall asleep underneath a full moon. Whatever you do, do _not_ strap her down and make sure she isn't left alone when the Change starts. She'll need someone to be there."

Kiba had been perturbed by his brother's response, saying that Dante had never been so attentive to a wolf's feelings when undergoing a Transformation, but we didn't really give it much thought.

On the night of the next full moon, a week or two after we'd called Dante, Snow slept out on the porch by herself while the rest of us stayed awake in the house, sitting in the living room with the television on but not really watching it.

At around two o'clock in the morning, the screams started.

That night was hard for everyone, Snow especially, but when the sun rose the next day, we had a new black wolf on the plantation. Snow's memories hadn't returned, still hadn't to this very day, and she was still every bit the white cat I'd found four years ago, even if she sometimes appeared as a wolf. She could still turn into a cat if she wanted, and she was rather proud that she had three different forms that she could alternate between.

Hige had stopped pursuing her after she turned into a wolf, and it seemed that it was what had needed to happen to spike Snow's interest in him . They'd starting dating officially when Snow and I were seventeen, Hige had just turned eighteen, and they'd been doing fine ever since. Even if it hadn't played out the way Hige had imagined, I thought that this was good for the both of them.

Hige had been off his medication for a year and a half now, no longer plagued with false memories or attacks that I myself still had sometimes. They had stopped around the same time he and Snow had started dating, and I couldn't help but think that it was because of her that he was doing so well.

What Hige had needed was a fresh start, and in a way, he found that with Snow. She was a pure spirit in sight of everything we'd had to suffer through, something familiar to him that didn't cause pain. They sometimes had fights when Snow accused him of comparing her to Blue, to which Hige would reply that she _was_ Blue, and they wouldn't speak for a few hours until one or the other conceded.

It was a never-ending circle, their relationship, twisted and rocky, but I could see the good it caused in our lives.

"And besides." Snow said off-handedly, stifling a yawn as she braided her sleep-mused hair quickly, laying it over her shoulder once she finished. "Shopping is your job. You're conservative and know how to handle money responsibly. You sure you want Hige anywhere near our hard-earned cash?"

"Never mind, then. You can go shopping for him."

"Oh!" She exclaimed suddenly, shooting up out of her chair. "Where are my manners? You turned eighteen today, didn't you, baby boy?"

"I'm hardly a baby anymore, Snowbell." I exclaimed as she engulfed me in a fierce hug, giving me a firm kiss on the cheek.

Snow didn't really remember when her real birthday was, so she decided it would be on the day I'd found her on Main Street, June 3rd. And since my birthday was June 21st, she'd turned eighteen two weeks ago and had declared herself officially older than me. In a sense, I was still the runt of the pack, even if I did have more years under my belt than she did.

"What do you want to do today?" She asked, gripping my forearms rather tightly with mischief present in her blue eyes. "We should make something out of the first few hours of your adulthood. Want to go get a fake I.D.?"

I bit my lip, pulling myself from her hold. "I'll pass, even if the offer does sound tempting. I was going to go hunting actually. You can come if you want… "

Snow blinked, the tips of her eyelashes brushing the fray of her bangs. I slowly watched as realization and understanding filled her gaze. "I'll come." She said, nodding.

"Shouldn't you go put a shirt on?" I asked as she started for the door.

Not even bothering to turn around, she replied, "Shouldn't you go put some pants on? Wolves don't wear clothes, now are we going hunting or not?"

The rain hadn't lessened much when we exited the house, and our pelts were immediately soaked as soon as we stepped off the porch. Snow gave her midnight black fur a shake, not that it helped any, and followed after me as I made a break for the woods.

We passed the lake along the way, and the resident swans took to the sky when they saw us, causing Snow to release an almost inaudible huff. She'd really taken a liking to the elegant white birds, though because of Hige, they were wary of wolves. Their numbers had depleted since the bacteria broke out in the lake, but there had been seven new chicks last mating season, so I wasn't too concerned.

"So, what are we looking for?" Snow asked once we were safely concealed within the trees, standing underneath a giant oak in hopes of keeping her fur somewhat dry. "Deer, squirrels, bobcats, foxes?"

"What's the point of killing the bobcats or the foxes? I kind of like them. They're entertaining and fun to talk to if they're in a good mood."

Snow bared her teeth in disgust, eyeing the area around us as if she expected a bobcat or a fox to come slinking out of the darkness. "Which is never. Cornflower has a new litter of kits, and if she finds us anywhere in the area, she's going to be less than pleasant. Not that she ever is, of course."

Cornflower was a fox that lived a few miles out from the farmhouse. We rarely saw her, though like Snow had said, she was never very friendly and tended to make a mess of the ducks and swans out at the lake. She and Snow had never gotten along well. Hige said it was something about female hormones or whatever.

"Let's try for a deer." I suggested, watching as her eyes sharpened and her body straightened out. She had proved to be an excellent hunter, taking her ratting skills and expanding them so she could take down much larger prey. Snow as a hunter was an almost completely different wolf. She was graceful and confident and completely serious. I was still the fastest runner, but when it came to cunning and tactics, Snow was the woman in charge. "If we catch one, we might be able to coax Hige out of his room this early in the morning."

"Doubt it." She replied, stepping out from underneath the oak tree and into the downpour once more. "Now let's hurry. Any scent trail a deer might've left will be washed away in this rain before too long."

I followed my dark-furred friend through the undergrowth as she stalked almost silently along, checking the surrounding area for any trail we could follow. After almost fifteen minutes of searching, we stumbled across deer droppings, and from that alone, we determined there was a female deer nearby, with no fawn to protect this year.

We tended to stay away from does with fawns, because even if we were killers in our own right, we didn't want to leave anything without a mother. In a way, we both knew what that felt like.

Snow and I separated once our target came into view, sneaking up on opposite sides of the unsuspecting doe. She didn't even lift her head once as I slunk closer to her, my scent and sound concealed within the pour of the rain.

With a growl, I leapt from my hiding place and charged at the doe, steering her in Snow's direction. The doe let out a cry of fear and reared up, flailing her legs before taking off in the opposite direction. I continued to give chase, driving her towards the blue-eyed female waiting to make the final blow further down the slope.

When our prey was in range, Snow leapt out from behind a tree, white fangs bared before sinking into the fleeing animal's neck. The two of them crashed down onto the damp ground that was mostly concealed in the downpour, and I dove forward, grabbing onto a flailing leg so it wouldn't hit Snow while she was otherwise preoccupied with delivering the final blow.

A few more moments passed as the body slowly stopped convulsing, and I released my hold on the doe's leg, swiping my tongue across my bloody jaws, panting. "You okay?"

Snow grunted, turning to look at me. That battle lust was still present in her eyes, but it slowly started to fade as she realized the fight was over and won. "Yeah, I'm fine." She said slowly, shaking out her fur. "She wasn't that hard to handle."

I nodded, moving to sit on the other side of the dead animal and waiting patiently as Snow prepared to tear into it first. It was her kill, after all. It was only fair she have the first bite.

"So, what's this really about?" Snow asked instead, removing her paw from the doe's body and swiping her tongue across her bloody jaws. I watched, almost in a daze, because the action reminded me so much of Darcia. "You only want to hunt at this hour if something's on your mind."

I said nothing for a moment, wrapping my tail around my paws as I stared down at the deer's sightless brown eyes. "You know me too well."

She tipped her head slightly, blue eyes filled with concern. "Of course, I do. You're like my brother, Toboe, I have to know what's up with you."

I didn't react to her words aside from a small twitch of my tail. Being the only female around the house had changed Snow a bit. She wasn't as rough around the edges, more understanding and caring. Having to compete with us had made her tougher though, and she and Tsume often butted heads because of it.

I wouldn't say she acted like our mom or anything. She was just fiercely devoted to making sure everyone was happy and cared for. It was that part of her personality that convinced me she was right for Hige.

"It's just… I'm eighteen now, Snow, and I'm no better than I was that day I saw Darcia." I said, a small growl escaping me.

She blinked in surprise. "What? But you've been so – You don't scream at night anymore. I thought the nightmares had stopped."

"Just because I don't cry out doesn't mean they've left me." I murmured. "Nothing's changed. Sometimes, I can't be around you because you remind me too much of _him_." She flinched slightly, hurt, but I continued before she had a chance to make a rebuttal. "It's your eyes mostly. They're the same shade of blue as his was. And your fur is dark like his. Sometimes I look at you and you change right before my eyes."

Snow stood, maneuvering her way around the dead animal so she could sit by my side. "Toboe, I know you told Kiba that we had to work hard to make something of this mess," I flinched at her words, because lately I'd started regretting saying that after seeing how little I'd changed, "and I believe that someday you're going to beat this, but you can't just expect yourself to be completely okay overnight. It's only been two years."

"Hige's better. Kiba, too. I'm still stuck in the past."

"Hige and Kiba are older and have been dealing with this since they were born." Snow retorted, leaning over to lick my ear soothingly. "You may be the most mature out of all of us, but you're still just a kitten... or a pup, rather."

"I'm hardly the most mature. But I guess you're right."

"Of course I'm right!" Snow said, humming in a soft, comforting kind of way that reminded me of a purr. She often exhibited feline tendencies while a wolf, like purring or being far more graceful than any wolf I'd ever seen. She was truly one of a kind.

I wished to relish in the moment of closeness with my friend, but something was still nagging at me, just as it had been for weeks as my birthday loomed closer, and as I watched Kiba have conversations with Liv after she showed up unannounced to check up on her son a few days ago.

Snow seemed to sense that something was still amiss. "What's wrong now?"

"Do you miss how things used to be?" I asked instead of answering her question, standing up and moving away from her slightly. "Before I ran away, I mean."

"Sometimes." She replied slowly, lifting a paw hesitantly as if she were debating getting up and following after me. "But I like my life here, too. Why?"

"I miss it." I said hollowly, my eyes tracing a squirrel as it scurried to-and-fro in the treetops. I heard the cries of her children, and she disappeared inside a nest of leaves and twigs, ready to calm their unease. "Or certain aspects of it."

"You miss Mom." Snow said without hesitation. "And Hiro, Kato, and Airi."

"I told Airi I would stay in touch, but I haven't." I admitted. "Every time she calls, Tsume has to make an excuse because I'm too terrified to face them." I turned toward my companion, and the way her eyes looked desperately lost pulled at the strings of my heart. "I've been too afraid to see them, let alone talk with them. So much has changed since I left. I mean… if I ever saw them again, would they even recognize me?"

"Toboe." Snow said quietly, but trailed off, as if she wasn't sure of what to say to me. I wasn't sure what to say either.

We'd opened up our farmhouse to troubled wolves with the intent to move back to Fairfield at some point, let someone else take over once we'd found ourselves again, but twoyears had gone by, and we were still here. Two years had passed since I first ran away from home, since I'd last seen my family.

Kiba assured me that Dante had explained everything to the police and to my family and not to worry, that they knew I was safe and would return home at some point, but that point had yet to come.

I'd never called, simply because I was afraid of what my family would think now that they knew the truth about me. Would they hate me because I was a wolf? That's what I'd thought back when I was sixteen, and some of that anxiety was still with me today as an eighteen-year-old.

I also hadn't wanted to see them because I still wasn't completely better. There were still nights when I would wake up screaming from my nightmares, like Snow had said, visions of Darica with Snow's entrails in his jaws refusing to let me have a moment's peace, and that was something I didn't want my mom or my brothers and sister to see.

If they were going to see me as I truly was, I wasn't going to let them see how it affected me. There was nothing wrong with what I'd done with my life, and I wasn't going to give them any indication that there was.

"Nothing's changed about you." Snow spoke again. "You're older and wiser, and you cut your hair, but you're still the same boy you were two years ago. Time isn't going to change that."

"I know." I said with a small sigh. "You're right. I guess I was only thinking about it because turning eighteen is sort of special and – "

"You wanted them to be here." The black she-wolf finished for me, for my throat closed around the words. "I get it. But today will still be awesome even if they aren't around. And when you're ready, we'll go back home and we'll see them and everything is going to be fine."

"Your optimism makes me feel like a piece of shit sometimes, Snowbell."

"I take back what I said earlier. If anything's changed, it's the fact that you curse like it's going out of style now." She growled playfully, rolling her eyes before looking down at the doe thoughtfully. "What do we do with this?"

"Eat it?"

"That's not what I meant, smartass."

I laughed, walking over to her once more to take a mouthful of the dead animal's soggy hide. "I suppose we should drag it back to the house. We could put it in the barn since Zeus, Orion, and Artemis are gone."

Zeus, Orion, and Artemis were our most recent tenants, though they were sent back to the WRA for the summer to see their mother and have tests conducted that we refused to do ourselves.

They were all two years old, and while Zeus was the only Reborn of the group, Orion and Artemis had come along simply for their brother's peace of mind. Orion had been the one to fall ill from the contaminated water in the lake, and while he was young and much more frail than most wolves his age, he'd been in no real danger. The three had made things lively, that was for sure, but they would be back at the end of the summer.

Snow and I were about to start the long trek back to the farmhouse when we heard a howl. "That's Kiba." Snow said, dropping her end of the deer. "What do you think he wants?"

"I have no idea." I replied. "Let's leave this here and come back for it later."

She nodded her consent, and the two of us raced back through the woods once more, howling back to Kiba to let him know we were on our way home. The rain had started to lessen somewhat, and by the time we cleared the forest, it was only a light drizzle.

"Beat ya to the porch, old man." Snow taunted, although she knew it was pointless to goad me into a battle that she couldn't win.

Fortunately for her, I was in a giving mood, so I allowed her to stay a couple paces ahead of me until we reached the house. "I win!" She yowled as she bounded up the steps, letting out a yelp as she skidded on the slippery surface in her haste to stay ahead.

"Yeah, you did." I said, following after her with more care than she had exhibited, managing to keep my footing until I could shake out my fur and wipe my paws on the matt by the front door.

"I feel so domesticated." She mused as she followed my lead in ridding her paws of mud and water. "What proper wolves wipe their paws before entering a house?"

"What proper wolves use a doggy door?" I replied before squeezing my body through the flap at the bottom of the door.

I was quite proud of how much muscle I'd put on in the past couple years. When we'd first put the dog door in – having to change into a human just to get inside was a bother, after all – I'd been able to go through it without my fur brushing against it. Snow kept saying I was just getting fat, however.

The house was warm, a welcome change after spending a good half hour out in the rain. I supposed I was lucky that my fur was thicker than it had once been, although it was nowhere near as thick as Hige's.

"What happened to our leader?" Snow demanded when she squeezed through the door. "He better not have called us home from a hunting expedition for nothing."

"I wouldn't say it was for nothing." Snow and I jumped as a voice sounded from the kitchen, and Kiba stepped into view, an amused expression on his face as he chewed on a strip of bacon. "Though I never said you had to come back home immediately."

"Well, we're here now, so what's up?" Snow asked irritably, sitting down with a thump to scratch at her ear vigorously with her hind leg. "Don't tell me you just wanted to say good morning."

"Not so much good morning as happy birthday." Kiba replied, eyes filling with warmth and affection as my tail started to thump against the floor involuntarily at his words. "You feel any different today, Toboe?"

"Not really." I replied. "I know Hige said once I turned eighteen I would experience some drastic change, but I haven't felt a thing so far."

Snow huffed at my words, shifting her eyes to the staircase, perhaps listening to see if Hige was up and about. "He doesn't know what he's talking about. His 'drastic change' was my willingness to put up with him long enough to have a real conversation."

Kiba and I shared a look before he turned back into the kitchen, suddenly interested in his breakfast once more. "You mean the fact that you started liking him enough to kiss him?" I asked innocently, following after Kiba.

"Well, I guess so, but… wait, _what_?"

Kiba and I laughed as Snow sputtered to cover her tracks, bounding after me with her claws scrabbling noisily against the wooden panels on the floor.

"He's only kidding, Snow." Kiba reassured her as he leaned against the countertop with a look of mirth on his face. "Everyone knows your relationship with Hige isn't entirely based on kissing."

Just like Snow and Hige, our pack leader had undergone some changes since our return to the farmhouse. He wasn't as serious about everything, not so uptight and untrusting of anyone outside our family. He even put up with Dante on a regular basis, no longer chucking phones across the room whenever he called.

When all his walls were done, he reminded me a bit of Hige, carefree ad jovial. But the alpha side of him would never go away, and he always dragged it out whenever he deemed necessary. I'd follow him to the ends of the earth if he told me to – and even if he told me _not_ to – and even if Snow liked to tease, poke, and prod, I knew she would as well.

"Well, as long as that's abundantly clear." She retorted, flashing me an irritated look. I simply flattened my ears against my head, tilted it a bit, and tried to act as cute and innocent as possible. "Oh, boy." Snow said in response to my actions. "He's giving me The Eyes, Fang."

"It's his birthday." Kiba said with a shrug, picking up his glass of milk and taking a drink. "I think it's a law to let him to do whatever he pleases for the rest of today."

"I like the sound of that." I said, moving over to the air vent by the wall and sitting in front of it, sighing in content as the warm air hit my damp fur. "Giving a pup like me power isn't something I would recommend, however."

"You're hardly a pup anymore, Toboe." Kiba told me. "You haven't been for a long time."

I said nothing in reply, only slid down slowly until I was on my stomach, stretching out in front of the warm air that felt so wonderful right then.

Even after so much time had passed, I still wasn't sure what to do with all the peace and free time I'd been given. I remembered practically everything from my past now, though I wouldn't know even if I was still missing a small piece, and for most of my previous life, I'd been alone and always on the move.

After Granny died, I had to fight for my survival, scrounge up any food I could and stay in the shadows lest the humans catch sight me. I liked them, but they were wary of me, assuming that all the wolves had been killed off many years ago, and the ones that remained were vicious and bloodthirsty.

Now that I remembered what it felt like to suffer from the pains of starvation, just as Darcia had threatened, his words felt all the more horrifying. Now that I could recall how I used to lay in alleyways at night, cold and alone and practically emaciated from the lack of food, having so much to eat around the house was almost unreal, even if I'd never gone hungry before in this life, despite my family's lack of income. Even sitting here in front of the vent felt surreal, like something I should never take for granted.

In the year following my encounter with Darcia, my memories had come back in quick succession, although there were so many, it took forever to get them all settled. There was almost never a moment of peace.

That year had been the worst by far, and I hadn't been much help in fixing up our new home, practically bed ridden because of my blackouts. I hadn't liked it one bit, but Tsume and Kiba refused to let me do anything where I could possibly pass out and injure myself after I'd almost drowned while swimming with Snow in the lake. I'd lost a lot of weight that year, so I'd spent the last two regaining everything that I'd lost and then some.

Not all the memories were bad, most even made me feel warm and content, but receiving them had never been pleasant. My eyes would throb, just as they had in the library the day of my sixteenth birthday, and eventually the pain would spread until I passed out. Hige said it would all pass eventually, just as it had when he was going through the process of remembering.

Kiba and the others hadn't been able to make sense of what was happening to me, why my memories were coming back so suddenly and violently, but I was certain it had something to do with Toboe and Darcia.

Like my past self had said, he'd been trying to keep things from me for the first few weeks we were together. When I entered Darcia's fog, Toboe was expelled from my very being. Combine that with the fact that his grip on Paradise was loosening, and I was practically a ticking time bomb.

All the memories that I should've been experiencing but hadn't thanks to Toboe's interference came rushing in all at once a few days after we left the Gateway to Paradise, when Toboe no longer held any essence of Paradise at all.

I'd seen him for one extended period of time in all the years I'd spent here, back when I was bedridden. He'd been my only company while the others were out working, talking me through the confusing images and explaining what had happened in full. Who better to tell me what was real than the wolf who'd actually lived through it all?

He disappeared again once I was healthy enough to leave my room, and I hadn't seen him since, but I knew he was still with me.

"So, anything else you want to say to us?" Snow asked Kiba eventually. "We have a deer to eat, ya know."

"I just don't want you two staying out in the rain for too long." He replied. "It's starting to lessen now, but there's been tornado outbreaks to the east of here since yesterday. You can never be too careful."

"You can never be too careful about what?"

With a yawn, Hige made his entrance, and I was surprised he was up this early. On Saturdays, you hardly ever saw him up and about before noon. It was especially surprising since he, Snow, and I had been up late last night cleaning the kitchen after we had a particularly tough time making me a birthday cake. Who made a person make their own birthday cake, anyway?

It started out simple enough, but after a while we got bored, Snow flicked the batter at Hige, and I found myself sucked into my first food fight. It had been fun, of course, but the repercussions had been less than pleasant, and we didn't even have the dessert to show for it.

He was shirtless, which was no unusual feat, still wearing the same batter splattered jeans he'd worn the previous night, but when he raised his arms for a long stretch, his scent blew across the room over to me from another air vent.

It didn't smell foul, mind you, but there was something that accompanied his usual musky odor that made my tail thump against the ground in amusement. Snow met my gaze sheepishly, and it was obvious she knew that I was aware that she'd spent the night in Hige's room.

She'd done a stupendous job of masking his scent, but her boyfriend didn't have as much tact. Even Kiba noticed, and he couldn't keep the smirk from appearing on his face when he saw Snow's reaction.

Hige, on the other hand, was as oblivious as ever.

"About staying out in tornado weather." I answered Hige's question in a tone that suggested I was trying to conceal laughter. "Snow and I went hunting, and Kiba called us back."

"Just to tell you that?" Hige asked, arching an eyebrow in question. "Talk about hovering, Kiba."

"Aren't you going to tell Toboe happy birthday?" Snow demanded, obviously irritated that they'd been found out.

Hige grinned over at me before moving over to the fridge to look for something to eat. "As I recall, I was the first person to tell him happy birthday."

I nodded in agreement. "Right at midnight."

"Where the hell was I?"

"Watching TV while Toboe and I slaved over a hot stove."

"My shows were on!"

"If it'll make you feel better," Hige said, moving back to the previous topic of discussion, "I'll say it again. Happy day of birth, Toboe."

"Okay, we're off to the woods now!" Snow said before I could reply. "I'm not too keen on eating soggy deer meat, and I'm starving."

"Just eat some bacon." Hige said, swiping one from the plate Kiba had been originally eating from. "Kiba made enough to feed an army."

Snow shook her head, and I found myself doing the same. I'd grown up on human food, sure, but there was something about eating raw meat from animals I'd killed that was much more satisfying than I wanted to admit.

I blamed it partly on my wolf instincts, which I found were growing stronger every day, though Kiba said my body was just expressing the need for fresh kill that had lain dormant for the first sixteen years of my life. It was new to me, so I wanted to explore it more, and my body would grow accustomed to it eventually and the hunger for it would go away, or so Kiba said.

"We'll be back soon." I said, getting to my paws and moving toward the door, Snow following after me. "Then you guys can do whatever it is you have planned for today."

"Who says we're doing anything?" Hige called after us, his voice filled with mirth.

I paused, turning to glance at him over my shoulder. "Because it's impossible for us to _not _do something, no matter the occasion."

* * *

><p>By the time Snow and I managed to drag the deer into the barn, it was around nine-fifteen. Between the two of us, we managed to eat a good majority of it, though there was still some leftover in case we wanted to eat it for lunch or dinner, depending on what the others had planned for my birthday.<p>

It was tradition to go into town as a family for a good majority of the day, go shopping, maybe grab a bite to eat if Tsume didn't want to cook.

I'd refrained from going into town for the first year or so, mostly because I hardly even left the house, but also because I was afraid the residents would recognize me as the boy the police had been searching for.

Curiosities had risen when they suddenly stopped their search – Dante's doing no doubt – and since no follow-up had been done on the situation, everyone either assumed I'd been found dead or I was safely back at home. Once I grew up and started to fill out more, I hardly looked like the picture everyone had seen on the media, even more so since I cut my hair.

No one ever gave me a second glance when I was out in public, and I'd grown much more confident. Even if someone were to recognize me, I had my wolf form to revert to if things got complicated.

After we left the barn, we returned to the house to find Hige, Kiba, and Tsume in the living room together, watching a basketball game they'd recorded from the previous night on the television. Hige hadn't been paying much attention, flipping through the pages of a novel he'd been reading since the beginning of the month, though Tsume and Kiba had been thoroughly engrossed in the game, each one rooting for a different team.

Watching the two of them react to every call was something I never though I'd see, taking into account how they'd acted in our previous life. The spectacle had been rather amusing, especially when Snow tried to get their attention and no one seemed to notice her presence, not even Hige. I knew he would feel her wrath later.

Knowing that it was best to leave them alone when they were off in their own worlds, she and I escaped down to the lake to bask in the newly appeared sun, waiting until the others were ready to rejoin society and continue on with the day.

I didn't know how long we'd actually been laying out in the sunshine, but the sun had moved a considerable amount in the sky, so I would say it had been roughly an hour and a half of Snow and I enjoying one another's company and making small talk. Most would say that so far, today had been a bust for an eighteenth birthday, but to me, this was more than I could've ever hoped for.

At one point in my life, I never dreamed that I would have friends, let alone leave my home entirely to set off on some grand adventure. I wasn't as socially awkward as I'd once been, though, so when I thought back on my old way of living life, I often cringed at my own shortcomings.

Back at home, I more often than not spent my birthdays alone after I turned twelve. Airi, Hiro, and Kato spent more time at summer school or with their friends than at home, and my mom was always working, sometimes not even returning home until midnight. Sometimes I went over to Mrs. Pennon's house, and the two of us would bake cookies together, but even with the company of the one woman who had meant so much to me in both of my lives, I was still alone.

I'd spent four birthdays with Kiba and the others so far, and even if the first one had been less than impressive, what with learning I was a wolf and all, at least I hadn't been alone.

I was perfectly content to spend my time in a peaceful quiet here at the lake's edge with Snow, because after spending most of my life with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company, this was something I wasn't going to be taking for granted.

The geese, swans, and ducks were staying clear of us, congregating on the other side of the water. I could even hear their grumbles of distrust from where I lay in the grass. I didn't think they were smart enough to know that in all the time we'd lived here, only Hige had ever chased after them.

Snow heaved a huge sigh, eyes closed as she lay on her side in a bare patch of ground a feet or two away from the water's edge. "I should've changed into my swimsuit while we were at the house." She murmured, one ear twitching as a horsefly flew past it. "I need to work on my tan."

"Why don't you just change into a human and do it now? Why do you need a swimsuit?"

"Sports bra tans are unsightly. You should know that by now, baby boy."

"Ah, yes, how could I ever forget?" I mused, pawing at my ear vigorously. The mosquitoes had decided to rear their ugly heads with a vengeance today it seemed. Even the infected water did nothing to dampen their numbers. "Paradise forbid you ever receive a tan less than par."

Snow made her wolf version of a purr, cracking open a single blue eye to peer over at me humorously. "Not to bring up old topics, but sometimes I can't believe how much you've changed. You had a sense of humor before, but now it's just… uplifting."

"Uplifting?"

She nodded, suddenly serious, lifting her head to look at me fully. " Before it was just… I don't know. Your heart wasn't completely in it. I could see it in your eyes."

Sometimes my friend said things that caught me completely off guard, and this was definitely one of those times. I didn't know how to reply, so I said nothing.

I tended not to think about how I'd been before, how withdrawn I had been for fear of my siblings' judgment. I knew now I was just missing the part of myself that didn't necessarily care about how he was viewed by others, the part that simply wished to be himself, and now I just viewed the entire ordeal as a learning experience.

I was about to suggest we go back to the house to see if the game was over, but a sound reached my ears. I stilled, listening with ears perked in interest, for it was a sound I hadn't heard this far out in the country for a long while.

Lifting my head over the grass, I stared back in the direction we'd come. The barn was just as magnificent and large as usual, even from so far away, and I could see the shadows of the house underneath the trees on either side of it. The house itself was a ways away from the main road, and we never heard many cars, so I was surprised when I saw the clouds of dust rising into the air as a car drove along the dirt path leading up to the house.

Snow lifted her head, finally hearing what I had, tipping her head in curiosity. "Who would come out here at this hour?" She wondered aloud. "Most people aren't out of their beds at ten-thirty on a Sunday."

"We were up at eight."

"Well, we aren't most people, are we?"

Abandoning our relaxed state, the two of us raced through the tall grass to make it back to the house before the approaching cars did. I could see three cars now, one black while the other two were red.

I didn't like the look of things, because the only people who ever came out this far were Dante, Quent and Sasha during an occasional visit, and sometimes Liv. All of them drove white cars, most likely for WRA purposes, so who were these newcomers, and what did they want?

"Toboe, wait." Snow said suddenly, jolting to a stop.

I turned around to face her, panting. "What's wrong?"

"Let's wait and see who they are before we go up. Look, Kiba's out on the porch. Maybe this is something we aren't supposed to know about."

"What's the point in hiding out here in the grass?"

"Think of it as stalking practice."

_Like we need any. _I thought as Snow grabbed hold of the fur around my neck with her teeth gently, pulling me down so we were concealed within the tall grass. Snow pawed aside a group of stalks so we could see clearly, and the two of us watched – or spied, really – as Tsume and Hige appeared from inside as well.

I couldn't see the looks on their faces clearly from where I lay, so I didn't know if this was a welcome visit or not. _I guess we'll find out._

Snow and I lay perfectly still as the cars pulled up in the pebbled driveway. "Who in their right mind would drive a Ferrari out here?" Snow snorted, eyes fixated on the red car, which had been at the head of the line. "Someone obviously throws his or her money around."

"Shh." I growled softly as Hige shifted on the porch, and while I couldn't see his face clearly, I could tell he was gazing out in our direction. "This spying business was your idea, so shut up or they'll find us."

"Hey, you don't have to be a douche just because it's your birthday."

I threw her a glare, which earned me an equally irritated look in return, but we refocused our attentions when the driver's door of the red Ferrari opened. Both of us recognized the driver.

"I should've known that car was Dante's, the rich bastard." Snow whispered, creeping forward slowly, not moving a single stalk of grass. "What happened to the white one? Come on, let's get closer so we can hear what they're saying."

I started to follow after her, but then my body froze of its own accord as Dante moved around the car to open up the passenger side door, offering a hand to the woman within to help her out.

She had changed since I saw her last, but I knew without a doubt the woman was my now nineteen-year-old sister. Her hair was longer, wavier maybe, and my vision was suddenly all too acute as I assessed her alongside an equally frozen Snow.

Her eyes were still blue, of course, but they held a certain warmth that hadn't been there before. She raised one hand to cover her eyes as she gazed around the landscape, and Dante closed the car door once she was out, giving me a full view of her profile. She was wearing a white dress and sandals, and I almost panicked, because she looked nothing like the teenager I'd seen at the party two years ago, nearly seventeen and fuzzy-eyed with alcohol, smelling of smoke.

Only the black choker she wore around her neck looked somewhat familiar, but there was still something off about her. Either my sister had gained a lot of weight in the time I'd been gone, or –

"Holy shit." Snow whispered fiercely at my side, blue eyes blown wide. "Is that – Is she – "

"She's pregnant." I finished for her, blinking a few times to make sure I wasn't imagining this.

I wasn't a fool. By the way Dante was handling her, I knew he was the father, and the two were probably more than just friends, but never before had the idea crossed my mind that one day my sister would grow up and start a family with someone, especially not Dante Connolly.

Airi had been wary of men ever since our father left, so this had never seemed like a possibility to me. What had Dante done to possibly change her mind? Kiba had told me a lot of things about his brother in the past couple of years, but his relationship with my older sister hadn't been one of them.

"Toboe would land himself on some farm." I heard Airi say to her companion, though there was no spite or distaste in her tone. For a change, she sounded affectionate and happy, and it made my eyes burn. Her voice sounded so rich and warm. "He always did love for animals."

"This is where Artemis has been spending her summers with Orion and Zeus." Dante told her, settling his gaze on Kiba, Tsume, and Hige who had yet to move from the porch. "Your brother helps Zeus in ways the WRA cannot."

"Well, of course. I didn't expect any less from him."

And slowly, one by one, people from my past began to appear, people that I was nowhere near ready to face.

I released a small whine that had Snow pressing against my side when my mother stepped out of the red car behind Dante and Airi's, looking so much younger than she had when I last saw her.

A little girl with dark brown hair jumped out of the back, squealing in delight when she took in her surroundings. She appeared nine or ten, maybe, and I couldn't help but wonder just who the young girl was. Sal got out of the driver's seat, still broad shouldered and sporting that ever present smile just as he had back in my youth, when he used to give us all our groceries for less than what they were worth.

And from the black car came my brothers, by now twenty-one years old, like Kiba and Dante. With a flash of remorse and guilt, I realized I could no longer tell them apart. One was more muscular than the other and had shorter hair, but whether it was Kato or Hiro, I wasn't sure. The other looked the same as they'd both appeared when they were eighteen, though more angular in the face and sharper in the eyes.

"What are they doing here?" I asked, my voice trembling slightly. "How did they – What are they – "

"Kiba, Tsume, and Hige don't look surprised to see them." Snow growled lowly, a hint of betrayal present in her voice. I wondered if maybe she was just as afraid of facing our past as I was but had just never said anything. "If this is some kind of birthday surprise – "

I gestured for her to be quiet, for Kiba and the others had moved from the porch and were walking toward our visitors. I watched them, feeling a little betrayed myself, but I supposed I'd been asking for this for a while. I said I missed them all the time, but… I never thought they'd ask them to come for my birthday. They hadn't all the other years. What had changed?

"You look well, Kiba." Dante said to his brother, nodding shortly. The two weren't as cold with one another as they'd once been, but you could tell they weren't close like my twin brothers.

"So do you." Kiba replied, glancing over at my sister who was giving him a level stare. "I see you're going to be parents soon."

"That we are." Dante replied, wrapping his arm around my sister's shoulders. To my utter shock, she not only allowed it but also leaned further into his embrace in return. "You should've seen the look on Mother's face when we told her."

"I can only imagine."

"Cut the crap." Airi said testily, and I was relieved, because at least her personality hadn't changed much. "You've kept Toboe away from home long enough. Where is he?"

"Airi, don't be rude." Our mother said gently but firmly as she walked up the drive with my brothers, Sal, and the little girl behind her. "We haven't come here to fight. Tsume, Kiba, and Hige invited us to celebrate Toboe's eighteenth birthday, not dwell on the past."

"I shouldn't need an invitation to see my own brother." Airi grumbled unhappily, crossing her arms over her chest in irritation, the bottoms of her forearms resting atop the swell of her stomach. "That's bullshit."

"Where is Toboe anyway?" One of my brothers asked, the muscular one with the short hair.

"He and Snow are down at the lake." Tsume said, drawing the glares of my sister from Kiba to him. As far as I knew, the two had never met before. "They should be back shortly if you want to wait. I'm certain they saw your cars coming up the drive."

Snow nudged me gently. "Toboe, we should go out there. We can't hide forever."

Despite myself, I shook my head. "I – I can't."

"Look, I know I said we'd face this when you were ready, but now we have no time left. They're here, and you've got to face them head-on like you did with Darcia. Remember, Toboe?"

I did remember, but for some reason, facing Darcia had been easier than this. What was I even afraid of? Rejection? The anger they might feel towards me for having left them for three whole years?

I didn't feel like I knew them anymore. Airi was started her own family, my mother seemed to have found a new one, and I could no longer tell my own brothers apart. If I didn't recognize them, then how could I expect them to see me as I was now and make the connection?

"Like I said before, they'll know you when they see you." Snow murmured in my ear. "They love you, no matter your form."

And before I could utter a single sound, she had stepped out of the grass and into the open. The others turned to look at her, maybe expecting to see me, and for a moment, Snow didn't move. She didn't turn to look at me, not wanting to give me away if I truly wasn't ready for this, but she didn't move forward. She was giving me the chance to go with her, to face this with my best friend at my side.

My heart was thudding painfully in my chest, and I debated running back to the lake to remain there for the rest of my birthday. But then I remembered that day in the Gateway to Paradise.

"_I'm done running. All it's ever done is hurt those around me, and I'm through with it."_

I'd faced Darcia and every single one of my fears in that fog. It hadn't broken me, had only made me stronger. I wasn't the same wolf I'd been that day, and while I never would be again, I still held the same values.

"I won't run." I said firmly, and I saw Snow relax in front of me, relieved. "I won't."

Snow moved aside as I exited the grass slowly, unable to keep my head and tail held high. I probably resembled a dog that had just been scolded for doing something bad. Airi's eyes flashed, and I saw the muscular brother reach over to push the other one's shoulder. My mother sucked in a breath, bringing her right hand to rest across her chest, clenching it tightly.

Sal crouched down and took the blonde girl's hand, whispering in her ear, though I heard every word. "That's Anna's son, Stella, the one we've all been telling you about."

"The Wolf of Legend, Daddy?"

"Yes. That's Howling."

And I froze. Snow halted beside me, looking down at me with sympathetic, worried blue eyes. I wasn't just Toboe any longer, the terrified child of the past that I was now in the face of my family.

Like Sal had said, I was Howling, a wolf from a time long ago that had stopped at nothing to save his friends, the one who had died to save a human. I'd died and been Reborn, lived with my memories and lived without them, and I'd faced Lord Darcia III, the epitome of all things evil.

I was a proud individual, a conqueror of all things terrifying, and I was going to start acting like it.

I let out a joyful yip, breaking free of Snow's comforting presence and dashing into the unknown, just as my mother recovered from her stupor and made a break for me as well.

"Oh, Toboe!" She cried as she fell to her knees in the dirt, extending her trembling arms, which I gladly jumped into. "My baby."

She clenched her fingers tightly into my fur as I nuzzled my head underneath her chin, pressing into her with all the force I could muster that wouldn't knock her over completely. Maybe I would've changed into a human if I were able, but I was far too overwhelmed and excited to even think about maintaining my human form.

And I wanted to see how they would react to seeing me as a wolf. So far, I liked what was happening.

"You've gotten so _big_." Mother managed to choke out through her tears, laughing a little as she pulled back to look at me fully, both of her hands on either side of my head. The statement was sort of funny in its own way, for she'd never even seen me as a wolf to make the comparison. It was like she was looking beyond my wolf skin and seeing the eighteen-year-old human that lay beneath, the boy she'd given birth to. She could _see _me. "I'm so proud of you, Toboe, I truly am. And Snow… look at you, dear."

Snow crept up on my other side, ears pressed tightly against her head before my mother grabbed her and pulled her into the circle of her arms as well. The two of us locked eyes, and I knew we were both equally emotional about the situation. This was everything we could've ever hoped for and then some.

I whined lowly as drops of my mother's tears landed on my fur, pressing into her further while Snow licked her fingers soothingly. I'd come to think of this place in the country as my home, but for the first time in the two years we'd been here, I finally felt as if everything had fallen into place.

"I almost forgot how it felt to have a mom." I murmured to Snow.

She looked over at me, eyes glassy with emotions she couldn't express in her current form. "Same."

Neither of us moved until my mom had reassured herself that we were both alive and well, but even after she released us, no one moved. My siblings had yet to move or say anything now that I was out in the open, and I wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing.

My mom released us eventually, wiping away tears carefully so as not to ruin her mascara more. Snow would probably offer her own to my mother once we got inside, since it was already starting to run a bit and Snow couldn't stand a bad makeup job.

Movement beyond my mom caught my attention, however, and I watched as the muscular brother moved to stand in front of Hige. Snow noticed as well, body tensing as if she were fighting the urge to jump to her boyfriend's defense, but she stayed still.

Hige looked on warily, not moving a muscle as my brother looked him up and down, sizing him up maybe. My brother was two years older than Hige, but my friend was by no means afraid of defending himself should my brother decide to take out his frustrations on him.

But slowly, stiffly, my brother extended his hand out to Hige, the expression in his ice blue eyes unreadable.

After a moment, Hige took it.

"Toboe," Tsume said eventually, forcing his gaze away from Hige and my brother to glance over at me, "why don't you and Snow turn human so you can say hello properly?"

My ears lowered slightly, as did Snow's, and the two of us exchanged a look before I said, "She's not wearing a shirt," just as she said, "He's not wearing pants."

"What did they just say?" Airi muttered to Dante.

He didn't reply, though I saw the exasperation present in his brown eyes, a look mirrored by Kiba's own blue eyes. I'd probably end up with extra chores if I dared say so aloud, but the two of them had never looked more like brothers than they did in that moment.

* * *

><p>Even after I did find a pair of jeans to put on, I still didn't leave the safety of my bedroom. I could hear the voices of my friends and family from downstairs, my mother conversing with Kiba and Tsume as if she had never held a grudge against them, but I couldn't bring myself to join them.<p>

I merely sat cross-legged on my bed and stared out the window, tearing at the frays of my torn jeans. I wasn't afraid. So, why was I up here? Why couldn't I go down and face them after the initial hello?

Maybe it was because I was so used to it just being the five of us around the house. Everything was usually so quiet. Even when Artemis, Orion, and Zeus had been around, things hadn't been too eventful. The peace and quiet wasn't something I'd had a lot of growing up.

In one life I'd been fighting for my survival, while in the other I was fighting for my sanity. And after two years of only listening to the crickets and Hige's snoring, the movement going on outside my bedroom door was slightly unnerving. Perhaps living out in the country hadn't been good for the development of my social skills.

My gaze shifted to the door when I heard a knock, and I hesitated slightly before saying, "Come in."

When Airi opened the door, I wondered why I hadn't known it was her in the first place. She smelled generally the same, though Dante's scent was so mingled with hers it was hard to make the distinction. Maybe it was because her gait was heavier with the weight of her pregnancy.

"Find some pants yet?" She asked, not completely looking into my room in case I hadn't.

I couldn't help but smile, still picking at the denim threads. "Yeah."

"It's not like he was naked, Airi." The door was thrown open as one of my brothers entered the room, leaving my sister and other brother alone in the hall with irritated looks on their faces.

"I respect someone's privacy, unlike some people, Kato." She retorted, moving further into the room while Hiro shut the door behind them.

So, the muscular brother was Hiro. I would admit I was a little surprised. The brother that had ultimately ended me up in the position I was in today had never really liked physical exertion. What had he been doing in the past three years that he had bulked up so considerably?

Now that I looked at the both of them clearly, I knew I would've been able to tell them apart had they talked to me directly outside. Kato still had that scar above his left eye that he'd received from one of the many fights he'd gotten into over the years. His scars would never go away, unlike mine.

Now that the three of them were in my territory, it seemed as if things had changed. They looked like they didn't know what to do with themselves. All three of them were looking at me, mesmerized by the sight of the boy they hadn't seen in so long. I wondered if they could see how much I changed, not just on the outside but within as well.

"You cut your hair." Hiro was the first one to speak, sounding far too vulnerable for his physical appearance.

I grinned. "So did you."

The sound of my voice seemed to stir them a bit, and Airi and Kato moved forward to sit on my bed with me while Hiro grabbed the chair from my desk, pulling it closer to the bedside and straddling the back of it.

"It's been… a really long time." I said for a lack of better words, shifting my gaze back to the window.

"Too long." Airi said quietly, reaching upward to run a trembling hand through my shortened hair. "You look like an adult."

"You sound like one, too." Kato added, gazing around my room, taking in the scenery. There wasn't much to look at because I really didn't spend much time up here, unlike at our old house. It was really just my bed and the small table beside it, my desk and a chest of drawers, where my TV sat. I hardly used the thing, mostly because Hige hid my remote from me after I stuck him with cleaning Pepper's stall for a week. I was going to make him give it back to me as a birthday present. "I can only imagine how much your voice cracked."

Hiro nodded slowly, resting his chin on his forearms. "We missed it all."

I sighed, slowly moving my gaze from the window to lock eyes with Airi. She was still running her fingers through my hair slowly, blue eyes unfocused slightly and starting to mist as she stared at a spot on my face, though I wasn't sure what it was. "You aren't mad at me… are you?" I asked hesitantly.

That seemed to snap my sister out of her stupor. She removed her hand only to smack my cheek lightly, finally meeting my gaze. "Don't be stupid." She snapped. "Why the hell would we be mad?"

"Oh, I don't know." I retorted. "I kinda up and ran away two years ago. No big deal."

"Why would we be mad at you for something we caused?" Kato asked me, sounding every bit the authoritative teenager he'd been back in the day, always the ring leader of the four of us. "Your leaving was all our fault."

"My fault, really." I turned to glance at Hiro as he spoke, trying to convey in my gaze alone that I didn't blame them for what had happened.

I'd always guessed that they took the blame in one way or another for me running away, but I'd learned long ago that everything in my life didn't happen by chance. I'd been groomed since my birth to enter Darcia's fog and remove his wolf eye from the waters of Paradise.

The suffering in my childhood had made me stronger, pushed me to limits that might have otherwise been unexplored. If I hadn't experienced some form of pain, I might not have been as willing to offer up my most secret heart of hearts and let someone exploit every single one of my fears.

I would never say it aloud, but because of my siblings, I wasn't afraid of being hurt.

"I don't regret leaving." I said. "Even if you were mad at me for it. I saved your futures." Glancing down at Airi's stomach, I added, "I guess I saved lives as well."

My sister noticed my gaze and smiled. "I look like a house don't I?"

"No." I said quickly, just as Kato replied, "Just a little."

Airi punched him in the arm without taking her eyes off me once. "You wanna feel?"

"Um – " Airi snatched up my hand and placed it over her stomach before I had a chance to protest.

Now that I had the mindset to think about it, I wasn't exactly sure how I felt about the situation. Airi was only a year older than I was, and despite being younger, I was still protective of her. It was hard to imagine her having a baby with anybody, let alone Kiba's littermate. Did that make the two of us in-laws if Airi and Dante ever got married? _Small world._

I'd never felt a pregnant woman's stomach before, and I had never thought that the first one would be my sister's. Her stomach was hard, not that I'd expected any less, and after a few moments of nothing, I felt a small thump against my palm.

Airi laughed when I jumped, still holding my hand tightly. "You're still the same Toboe, I see. Did you feel the kick?"

"She's six months along." Hiro said, and I could hear the warmth and affection present in his voice. If either of my brothers had issues with Airi's pregnancy, they were hiding it extremely well. "Do you want to tell him what it is, sis, or should I?"

"Hmm." Airi said, pretending to look thoughtful. "Would I like to tell my baby brother the gender of my own child? The answer would have to be – "

"Yes, you dumbass, she does." Kato said with a chuckle.

"It's a girl." Airi rolled her eyes, though I saw the tenderness and love she held for her unborn baby in her eyes. "We're naming her Rhea."

"After Grandma." I murmured. I'd never met the woman since she and my grandfather had severed all ties with my mom after she had Hiro and Kato. My mother never spoke poorly of them, only talked about how loving the two had been when she was a little girl. I wondered what they would think of the situations their grandchildren had found themselves in if they'd stayed. "Are you scared?"

"Shitless." Airi confirmed, finally releasing my hand. "But I'll be okay. I have Dante."

"Yeah, how the hell did that happen?"

"It's kind of a long story." She said with a breathy laugh, resting her own hands on her stomach. "Maybe when it's not your birthday I'll go into depth, but to put it simply… he broke me and put me back together."

Kato and Hiro shared a look, but unlike them, I truly understood what my sister was saying. The life of a Reborn was about being broken and put back together. It had happened so many times to me over the past few years.

"Dante quit his job at the WRA once Airi told him she was pregnant." Hiro said. "They live at our old house now that Mom moved in with Sal."

I stared over at him in shock, and then looked back to my sister, deciding to ignore the comment about my mother and Sal for now.

Kiba often talked about how devoted the humans and wolves could be when it came to the WRA, Dante especially. He'd lived and breathed it his entire life, and hadn't done much in exploring the world outside its walls. He knew a lot about it, just hadn't experienced it first hand like Kiba and I had. Hearing that he'd left the WRA after all this time just for my sister made me think that maybe he really did care for her a lot.

"He doesn't want her exposed to that." Airi explained. "And neither do I. We'll tell her about everything eventually, but… I want her to be human."

"What if she wants to be a wolf?" I asked, thinking about my own struggles with my identity, as well as Snow's. I didn't want my little niece going through something like that.

"Then I'll let her." Airi said firmly, almost talking to herself more than me. "Just because I don't want to be a wolf doesn't mean she can't be."

"What does Dante do then if he doesn't work at the WRA anymore?"

"Well, he didn't quit exactly. Don't listen to Hiro, he's an idiot. Dante just works from the house now. He hardly ever has to go to headquarters unless he has to do an evaluation. And he mainly works with wolves that get sent here, like Zeus."

"If he works so closely with what happens around here, how come you didn't know where I was sooner?"

Airi sighed, looking a bit irritated. "He kept the location a secret from me. I never knew where Artemis, Orion, and Zeus were going. Until Kiba called to invite us down here, I didn't even know you were the one taking care of Zeus."

"Snow and I only care for the ones without memories." I told her. "Zeus is more Hige's territory."

"Because of his episodes?" Kato inquired, and I wondered just how much my brothers knew about the working of Reborns.

Zeus did remind me a lot of Hige when I'd first met him. The young wolf was boisterous and full of mischief on his best days, running around with Artemis and Orion like the children they really were. But on his worst days, the poor wolf couldn't even leave the barn, plagued with visions of his past life.

He never liked to talk about it, but Hige told us once that Zeus had been drowned before. While water had been my savior, it was Zeus's eternal nightmare.

I nodded, suddenly feeling morbid. My siblings were much more vigilant than I remembered, however, and they noticed instantly.

"So, what else have you been doing, Toboe?" Hiro asked me, sounding a little bit over-enthusiastic, not that I minded. "We have two whole years to catch up on."

He was right when he said we had a lot to catch up on, and I had no idea where to begin. I wanted to know what they had been doing more than anything, but I'd give them what they wanted first. It was the least I could do. "Well, we got a horse." I said lamely, shrugging my shoulders.

Kato laughed, and I shifted in the bed. I couldn't remember the last time my brother had laughed like that. "So, you really have gone all cowboy on us?" He said with another small chuckle. "I wasn't sure what to think when we followed Dante all the way out to this farm."

"Five hours of nonstop driving." Hiro said with a groan. "Couldn't you live closer to Fairfield, Toboe?"

"Do you ride the horse?" Airi asked me curiously. "What's its name? Where'd you get it?"

"I'm the only one allowed to ride her, but I don't do it often, because… well, it feels like slavery to me." I explained. "Pepper doesn't trust people much. We saved her from a slaughterhouse back in Cosenza."

"Poor thing." Airi said unhappily.

"I didn't know people ate horse." Hiro said, followed by, "Touch me again and I'll break your arm," when Kato smacked the back of his head.

"I don't know what they were going to do with her, but I'm glad we noticed her before anything terrible was done."

Tsume and I taken a trip to Cosenza a while back to revisit Kindlewood Books, where I'd first gotten that book on wolves. I'd told Ms. Harper – the woman who gave the book to me – that if I ever saw a real wolf, I would come back and tell her. And I always kept my promises, but instead of telling her, I decided to show her.

We'd come across Pepper by mistake. I clearly remembered driving down the street and seeing four men trying to load an extremely terrified looking gray horse into a truck. Her cries for help had immediately caught my attention, and I refused to return back to the farm until Tsume had convinced the men to give us the mare. Getting her back to the farm, however, was another challenge entirely

Pepper had been around for at least seven months, and it had been a long process just to get her to trust me. It helped that I could speak with her and try to tell her that not every human was going to whip her for not moving fast enough.

She'd told me once that she had a foal, but it was taken from her right before she left her old home at some other farm and went to the slaughterhouse. I could only imagine what kind of horrors she'd had to face in that place.

"You guys have any other animals? Or is it just you guys and the horse?" Kato asked.

"Maybelline's around here somewhere. She's Snow's cat. She and Pepper are the only ones though."

"So, the cat got a cat." Hiro mused. "Is it just me or does that sound kind of wrong?"

Airi and Kato shrugged, though I understood Hiro's point of view. Snow had found Maybelline almost in the same manner that I'd found Pepper.

The two of us were driving to driving to work almost two months ago in April when Snow had forced me to pull over on the side of the road. The dark brown tabby had been limping down the sidewalk, looking emaciated and haggard. Snow refused to leave her, intending for me to keep the stray as a new pet since she was no longer just a cat, but Maybelline had taken a liking to Snow more, probably because she was a feline herself.

The brown cat said her previous owners had moved away a few weeks prior to us finding her, leaving her behind in the process, but she wasn't as untrusting of humans as Pepper was. Owning pets was harder for Snow and me since we viewed it as immoral, being animals ourselves, but Pepper and Maybelline had been unfazed by the entire thing.

They hadn't even batted an eye when we turned into wolves in front of them for the first time. Apparently everything they'd been through in their lives didn't compare to watching their owners change form.

"Do you work?" Airi asked me curiously, pulling me from my reverie. "Or do you just use the WRA money you get?"

"We all work at a youth center in Solerno on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays during the summer when the wolves aren't around."

It couldn't be helped that I enjoyed helping others, especially teenagers that were struggling to find their place in society like I had, and Snow just really liked to be wherever I was at first. She'd never really liked kids, so her getting a job alongside the rest of us was something I hadn't encouraged, but she grew used to them in time, and now she was a favorite amongst the preteen girls.

The older boys had taken an interest in her as well, which was something Hige hadn't been happy about, but Snow could handle herself.

"You guys seem to do everything together." Kato observed, and I could almost hear the jealousy in his voice. I didn't like it. "Don't you ever do anything on your own?"

"We're a family." I replied simply. "Believe it or not, we like spending time together." Kato looked like he regretted his words, but I spoke again before he had a chance to make things more awkward than they already were. "Enough about me. What have the two of you been doing?"

"I'm going to community college back at home." Kato said after a moment, probably still recovering from the harshness and accusations that my words had carried, even if I hadn't meant for them to come across as such. "I started the fall after you left. I'm majoring in business."

"I'm glad you decided to go. You guys were always smarter than you let on."

"What about you? Are you going to go to college?"

I didn't say anything for a moment. I'd left Fairfield the summer before I would've started high school, so I never experienced public education past the eighth grade. Tsume and Kiba had insisted that I at least graduate from high school though, so once my memories had settled and I was healthy and stable enough to do so, I started home schooling.

Snow had tried to get into the educational fundamentals of life, but it was harder for her than it had been for me, and she'd gracefully declined any more offers of schooling after that. I'd finished everything on time, so I'd officially graduated from high school back in April of this year.

If I decided to, I could start college in the fall, but I still wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I hadn't discussed it with the others yet, but I knew they wanted me to get out into the world like I said I wanted to three years ago. But I didn't want to leave, and not everything college entailed could be completed online. Was it bad that I enjoyed my life here too much that I didn't want to go off to college?

With a pang of regret I realized this was something I should've been discussing with my mother.

"I don't know." I said eventually, shrugging my shoulders.

It was true that my duties to the wolves we took care of would always come first in my mind, and the idea of leaving them to fend for themselves, even if they would have Kiba and the others to help them, wasn't something I was willing to entertain.

I knew what it felt like to be alone and in a place where I felt as if no one understood me, and I was going to do everything within my power to make sure that the wolves that were sent to us never felt that way. That was my passion, my goal now that the world was safe again. Compared to everything else, college seemed so unimportant to me.

"What about you, Hiro?" I asked, no longer comfortable with being the topic of discussion. "What have you been doing?"

"Well, I joined the army the spring after you left. I've been stationed overseas for a year or so now. I just got back last month."

"No wonder you look so fit." I told him, which earned me a hearty laugh in reply. "What made you decide to do that?"

All mirth disappeared from my older brother's blue eyes, and he suddenly looked sharp and serious, something his time in the military had caused no doubt. "Well," he said slowly, "that night you ran away… I'm not going to lie and say that it didn't fuck me up. I stayed in my room alone for a good amount of time after you left, just thinking, wondering if maybe I could've done something to make you stay. I know I hurt you, and I know it's part of the reason you left, so don't try to tell me it isn't. I realized I didn't want to hurt people, especially not the ones I cared about."

He broke off with a small sigh, resting his chin in the palm of his hand. "I guess I thought the only way I could ever redeem myself was to play a part in taking down anyone who dares try to hurt my family and my home. It's kind of stupid when you think about it."

"No," I told him sincerely, "it's not." Deciding that now was a good a time as any to bring up what I knew they were dying to discuss, I said, "It's true. I left that night because of what you did to me, but I also did it because I _remembered_ Tsume, Kiba, and Hige. I didn't know who they were exactly, but I recognized how I felt when I was around them. They were fun, they made me feel accepted, and they protected me, even from myself.

"Around the time I turned sixteen, I almost broke and demanded they take me home. But I didn't know what I was going back to. I thought I was yearning for the familiar, but now I know I was just afraid of them because they were too wonderful. They were nice to me and they acted like they legitimately cared about me, and I didn't understand it. I was afraid they were too good to be true, and I wanted to leave before they had a chance to destroy the hope I had that maybe I wouldn't be the reject younger brother anymore."

I paused before continuing, fighting past the burn in my eyes and the tightness of my throat. "But then they told me about what I was, about what we were trying to accomplish, and I knew I couldn't go home. I love you guys, and our relationship might not be the best, but you're part of the reason I stayed with them. I wanted to give you guys a chance to have a future, like I said. You drove me forward when all I wanted to do was give up.

"When I was shot, they captured me and were going to kill me. In those last few moments, when I thought I might not make it out of there alive, I thought about you, about how things were and how I wanted them to be. Like back when we were kids and things like you pushing me into the fireplace never happened."

It was amazing I hadn't started crying yet, because normally just thinking about that time in my life left me feeling depressed. "And when we finally reached the Gateway to Paradise, I was the one that had to go in and stop the world from dying. I walked into a place where all of my fears were exploited and made real for the three of you. I watched you all die in that place, and to this day, it still haunts my dreams. I close my eyes and I see your dead bodies and hear your screams… smell your blood."

"Toboe." Airi said quietly after a moment, reaching forward to grab my right hand. She touched the cool metal of my bracelets briefly before running her thumb along the back of my hand. "You have every right to be upset with us. We were so awful to you, and I speak for all of us when I say that we've felt terrible for it all these years. We were all… dealing with things, but we had no right to take it out on you. We understand if you hate us for what we did."

"But that's the thing." I replied, laughing a little. "I don't hate you. I told you I loved you when we spoke that night, and I meant it. I've learned over the years that the past should remain in the past. You can't let it control you, so I'm not letting my past dictate who I am and how I think."

Airi's hand tightened around mine, and I could tell that all my siblings were thrown by my response, probably expecting me to finally voice all of my frustrations after years of silence.

Maybe I had been more upset in the beginning, but I'd been given a lot of time to think things through in the past three years, and I'd learned it was better to forgive and try to heal than let my pain and anger fester within me.

It was what had happened to Darcia. The force of his emotions had been enough to corrupt even the purest of places. The mind was a wondrous and mysterious place, a keeper of all things intellectual and spiritual, and it had the power to make or break a person. I liked to think of my mind as something I was forcing into submission with hard work and dedication.

"You're a really special kid, you know that, Toboe?" Hiro said eventually, reaching over to place a firm hand on my shoulder, giving me a slight shake.

And although my thoughts about my past hadn't been able to pull a few tears from my eyes, my older brother's words managed to accomplish just that in a matter of seconds as I processed what he'd said.

"Why are you crying?" Airi asked me gently, using her other hand to wipe away the hot trails gently.

"Because – " I paused, collecting my thoughts as I focused on both my sister's and my brother's hold on me. "Because I love you guys, and at one point, it never crossed my mind that you might love me back."

* * *

><p>The rest of the afternoon passed without much incident, though a lot more tears appeared than the few I'd shed in my room in the presence of my brothers and sister.<p>

I was quite proud to say that I managed to stay relatively calm, even when my mother started telling her tale of how she'd managed to cope with the worry about not knowing if I was safe or not, even after Dante told her that I was alive and well and would return on my own terms.

We all left the peaceful quiet of the farm around dinnertime in favor of eating at a restaurant in downtown Solerno called the Red Stallion. I remember the first time we went there was for Snow's seventeenth birthday, and while she, Hige, and I had made fun of the establishment's odd name, they really did have exceptional food.

Over the course of the meal, I was able to speak to Sal in an almost discreet way while my mom was otherwise preoccupied with making sure Airi ate something that would benefit her baby. Even if I had been just an infant when my father left us, I had seen over the years just how it had affected my mom and my sister, even my brothers.

I wanted to make sure he was serious about everything he was getting into, because if he did anything to hurt my family, I was going to sink my teeth into him. I didn't say that to him, exactly, but I saw the amused unease in his eyes when I spoke to him. I'd never overly liked the man, but it seemed as if he made my mom happy, so I was going to embrace his presence to the best of my ability.

His daughter, on the other hand, was another story entirely.

I knew I was going to like Stella from the get-go. I observed her at dinner, and I realized the nine-year-old reminded me of myself in a lot of ways. She was silent and shy as she sat in-between Sal and Kato at the table, quietly drawing on her menu with crayons like any normal child I'd ever seen, but her blue eyes had been bright and alert as she gazed around the table, listening and comprehending everything and anything that was said.

At one point, she'd noticed my gaze on her and met my eyes evenly, which was something I never would have done when I was her age. She'd tipped her head, regarding me curiously, and then smiled in an innocent sort of way that kind of caught me off guard.

She'd then talked me into playing a few rounds of tic-tac-toe with her, and I soon found myself thoroughly engrossed with the child when I probably should've been paying more attention to the family I hadn't seen in two years. She told me her favorite color, what her best friend's name was, how much she liked school, and then proceeded to ask me dozens of questions about wolves.

Like I said, she reminded me of myself. Always the inquisitive one.

In the two hours we all spent at the restaurant, I allowed myself to slip into a false sense of normalcy, like the past thwo years hadn't happened and I was simply enjoying an outing with my large and pretty odd family.

It felt good to be back in my family dynamic once more, to exchange sarcastic words with Airi and shared amused glances with my brothers. I didn't think I'd realized how much I'd missed them until they were sitting right in front of me.

But as all things usually did, it came to an end much too soon for my liking.

Stella had to be back in her own mother's home by the end of the day, and Airi needed to get to bed so she could get up early for a checkup at the doctors the next morning. Dante had been the one who was so insistent on it, causing Airi to snap at him for being too worrisome, glaring at him intensely.

Dante, on his part, didn't react aside from a small twitch of his lips, giving my angry sister a smirk that looked a lot like a discreet smile. Snow and Hige had exchanged a worried glance at my sister and her boyfriend's antics, not realizing that their actions were just a part of their dynamic.

I knew my sister well, almost too well, and I knew that she had no need for a man that would back down at the first hint of anger on her part. She and Dante were alike in a lot of ways, but one thing that Dante had that my sister lacked was a level head. He contained her anger without stemming it further.

I decided I didn't need to give him a talk like I had with Sal. He already knew what he was getting into with my sister. He was far too observant not to.

We were all standing outside the restaurant in a group, saying our farewells. Or rather, everyone else was watching my mom say her rather tearful farewell to me.

"Mom, it's fine." I said with a slight laugh as she continued to hug me tightly, practically refusing to loosen her grip or let me go. "This isn't the last time you'll see me. I'll come home to visit soon, I promise."

"I know you will, I just – " She broke off with a frustrated and desperate sort of sigh, finally pulling away but still clutching at my shoulders tightly, tear-filled sapphire eyes darting over my face. "I'm afraid I'll wake up tomorrow and this won't have happened. I'll have dreamed the whole thing!"

I gave her a sympathetic and understanding smile. I'd felt that way for a good few weeks after I left home. "I promise, this is all real. If you want to, you can call me on my cell phone tomorrow just to make sure. I don't have to be at work until ten."

She nodded, looking thoughtful for a moment before her eyes starting to water dangerously again. "My baby has a job."

"Mom, seriously." Airi said with a small groan, one hand on her hip while the other rubbed the top of her stomach lightly, looking like she would rather be anywhere but there. I knew that wasn't true, however. She was only tired despite her claims to Dante that she wasn't, and I imagined she must have been in a fair amount of discomfort after being on the go practically all day. "He's eighteen now, of course he'd have a job."

"It took a lot of convincing on our part." Snow teased from where she stood pressed against Hige, a smirk tugging at her lips as he wrapped his arm loosely around her shoulders with the same sort of look on his face.

"The lovebirds were the less than enthusiastic ones, not me." I said dryly as my mother laughed, kissing me on my cheek before moving aside to let my siblings say their own goodbye.

Hugging Airi wasn't as awkward as it should have been, considering her stomach and all, but it became a tight fit when Hiro and Kato decided to turn the gesture into a group hug that involved Hiro crushing me so tightly I almost couldn't breathe.

"Get off me!" Airi exclaimed after a few moments, pushing against Kato's chest. "Pregnant lady trying to breathe here!"

"Her hormones have been really out of whack lately." Kato muttered in my ear before he made a break for his car, laughing as Airi threatened to castrate him, causing Stella to innocently ask what castrating meant.

"Dante, turn into a wolf and infect him with your saliva or whatever." Airi said with a huff as Kato slid into the car and shut the door, locking it behind him. "I like the idea of leading him around with a leash and muzzle."

"Wolves don't work that way, sweetheart." Dante said with a slight chuckle, and Airi flushed at the nickname, eyes darting over to me for a second. I, however, said nothing, only raised an eyebrow in amusement, feeling a smirk tugging at my lips.

Hiro turned back to face me after his laughter at Kato's expense died away, a sad sort of smile on his face. "Take care of yourself, Toboe. We won't be around to make sure no one kidnaps you anymore."

I nodded seriously, saluting him. "Yes, sir."

My brother ruffled my hair fiercely with a callused hand, something I remembered that he'd done during our youth before things turned sour, and made his way over to the car that Kato now occupied.

My mom rolled her eyes as the sound of the bass from their music vibrated throughout the vehicle. "They'll be deaf by the time they turn forty if that doesn't stop."

Glancing down when I felt a small tug on my hand, I came face to face with hesitant blue eyes and dark brown curls. "You'll come visit us… won't you, Toboe?" She asked me, clutching the paper menu we'd played tic-tac-toe on with her free hand.

I nodded with a smile, crouching down so I was more on her level. I remembered when Hiro, Kato, and Airi used to have to do that with me. How things had changed.

"I promise." I told her sincerely. "Maybe next time you can come visit and ride Pepper. I'm sure she'd love the company."

Stella beamed brightly, nodding, giving me a fierce hug that I wasn't expecting before scampering off to climb into my mom and Sal's car, shutting the door loudly behind her with strength that a nine-year-old shouldn't posses.

"She's been dying to meet you ever since we first brought you up to her." Sal said fondly as I straightened once more. "I can definitely say you met her expectations."

"That's what I'm here for." I said as the remaining members of my family began to move toward their cars, a small twinge of panic overcoming me. I pushed it away, though, because I would see them again soon, just as I'd promised my mother and Stella.

"Reah's due September twenty-sixth, Toboe!" Airi called as Dante aided her in getting into the red Ferrari. "I expect you to be there. If not, I'll hunt you down and muzzle you myself."

I shook my head in amusement, and I felt warmth from other bodies surround me as my friends approached. Snow and Hige appeared out of the corner of one eye, Tsume and Kiba out of the other, and I was glad they were with me lest I start to blubber like a baby.

They reminded me that I wasn't alone, even if my biological family was leaving to go to the home I'd left behind, five hours away. A rueful smile crossed my face as I remembered I'd never have to fear being alone ever again.

I continued to stand still by the street as one by one, the cars started to peel away from the parking lot, and I didn't move until the last of their headlights had disappeared from my view.

Once they were gone, I released a shaky sigh, linking my hands together behind me head. "You okay?" Snow asked me gently.

I offered her a half-assed smile, too exhausted, both mentally and physically, to do much else. "Not really. That was… a lot."

"Sorry we had to spring that on you." Hige said, sounding legitimately apologetic. "We didn't want to say anything, 'cause we knew you'd worry about it up until they arrived."

"Nah, I'm not angry or anything." I explained, glancing up at the sky. It was around five o'clock, so the sun hadn't yet started to set over the horizon, but I felt as if I'd been awake since dawn. "You're right. I probably would have freaked out."

"You handled it well." Kiba said to me, and I could hear the proud undertone in his voice. Apparently I hadn't just impressed myself today. "Just like I knew you would."

"I was expecting a brawl." Tsume commented off-handedly. "Or a fight for custody. Perhaps both."

I laughed, feeling light-hearted. Tsume had spent the good majority of our time on the farm worrying over that very topic, about whether or not my mom would call the police and force me to return before I turned eighteen. I'd never been too stressed over it, however, because even though my mom had been worried, she knew I was happy, and would've left me alone, even if it meant losing a bit of sleep.

"Well, we don't have to worry about that anymore." I said to him, pleased with the relief I saw pass over his face for a few brief moments. "I'm an adult now. No one can tell me what to do."

"Oh, really?" Snow drawled, crossing her arms over her chest. "Please do tell that to Michael tomorrow when we get to work. I've been vying for your locker for a few months now."

I shivered at her words, earning an amused chuckle from both Tsume and Kiba. Michael was our boss and wasn't the most pleasant man around. How he'd ended up being the manager at a youth center was beyond me. He'd often given Hige and I lectures about personal calls during work. In our defense, Snow had been sick for a good while after she turned into a wolf last summer, and Hige and I had worried over her while we were at work, even if Tsume had stayed behind to watch her.

"Jacking a dude's locker the day after his birthday." Hige said. "Harsh."

"Speaking of which, did you have a good day?" Snow asked me curiously, looking worried for a second. "You didn't get any real presents." She added, glaring over at Hige, Tsume, and Kiba.

"Hey, whenever we asked, he said he didn't want anything!" Hige said defensively, holding up his hands. "What the hell did _you_ get him?"

"The gift of friendship." Snow sighed dramatically, wrapping her arm around my shoulders from behind and placing a hand over her heart, shaking her head. "Because it is by far the greatest gift money cannot buy."

I nodded, shrugging my shoulders. "She's right."

"But," Snow continued, holding up a hand to halt any further conversation, "I do know that the best way into a man's heart is through material possessions, so I got him a novel that doesn't involve zombies _or _vampires, because a good story cannot _possibly_ be told by the undead. I gave it to him yesterday so you shmucks wouldn't feel guilty or anything."

I laughed heartily and Snow kissed me on the cheek like she had this morning. "Kiba, what exactly did you tell her when you were teaching her how to be a girl?" Hige asked. "It's obvious that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Everyone knows that."

"Ah, ah, ah!" Snow said, shaking her head. "Every guy is different. Isn't that right, Fang?"

Kiba smirked, glancing over at Hige. "She's right."

"But still." Snow said with a slight sigh of frustration. "I wish today would've been more fun for you. I'm sure you were fighting a breakdown every five seconds."

"Basically." I said, nodding, not liking the expressions of guilt that appeared on my friends' faces. "But I don't really care. Getting my family to come down here was just… the greatest gift anyone could've ever given me. Thanks, guys."

Hige smiled smugly over at Snow. "Family. The greatest gift money cannot buy."

"Are you sad they're gone, Toboe?" Tsume asked me, digging around in the pocket of his jeans, first digging out his wallet, then his cell phone, and finally the car keys.

We still had the same black van that Dante had given us three years ago when we found Cheza, though it wasn't our only car. Hige and I had found an old, red pick-up truck in the garage separate from the house. The two of us had fixed it up and we considered it our shared vehicle, though I drove it more often than Hige did.

I almost laughed aloud when I thought about when I first learned to drive. Tsume had been assigned the task of teaching me, and while I strived to please and never liked to upset him, those weeks we'd spent in each other's company within the truck had been the most trying in our entire relationship, even counting all the times he'd pushed me away in our first life.

He tended to yell whenever he thought my safety to be in danger, and I tended to yell whenever I was being yelled at. Everything turned out all right in the end, but even now I liked to make the car jolt whenever I was driving with Tsume as the passenger, amused by his startled reactions.

"Of course I'm sad they're gone." I said in response to Tsume's inquiry. "But I'm glad I had the chance to spend today with them. It was… refreshing in a way." I paused briefly before continuing. "And I have you guys, so it's okay."

The three of them stared at me, the looks on their faces akin to what a deer may look like in the glow of headlights. Sometimes I didn't think they understood just how much they meant to me. In a way, I held them in a regard even higher than my own biological family.

These past two years had been so _hard_, a mixture of fear, regret, longing, and relief, because I was _finally _in a place where I felt as if I belonged.

"Anyway," I said briskly, removing myself from Snow's grasp, "let's get going. I'm ready to start that book you gave me, Snowbell."

She nodded, giving me a huge smile. "Read it out loud to me. I want to make sure you got exactly what I paid for."

"Let's head home, then." Tsume said, tossing the keys into the air before snatching them back once more. "I'm exhausted."

"Actually," I said as the four of them moved toward the van, "I think I'm going to run home. I need to get rid of whatever energy I have left."

"I think I'll join you." Hige said instantly, moving back to stand beside me. "You coming, Snow?"

"Are you kidding?" She demanded, snatching the keys out of Tsume's unsuspecting hand. "Claw here promised to let me drive home. Sorry, boys, I'm gonna have to decline."

"Be prepared to pull us from the wreckage." Tsume said with a sigh, following after the dark-haired eighteen-year-old as she got into the driver's seat, starting the engine with enthusiasm that only she seemed to feel. "When I'm gone, Toboe, make sure Hige doesn't touch my stuff."

Kiba laughed as Tsume trudged to the car, turning to regard Hige and me with amusement. "Stay clear of the road if at all possible." He said before moving toward the car as well. "She's been waiting too long for this."

"Can she even drive?" I asked Hige quietly as the two of us gave Snow faux smiles of encouragement.

"Not a chance." Hige muttered back. "You see how she is whenever we hunt. The adrenaline is somewhat the same when driving a car for the first time. I think it's why Tsume and Kiba have been holding her back for so long. She's going to push that poor van to its limits."

"Should we make a break for it?"

"I believe we should. After you, birthday boy."

And after checking to make sure no one was around to see, the two of us shifted with twin howls of laughter and took off down the street, able to hear the rev of the engine as Snow followed close behind.

I didn't think either of us had moved so fast in our lives. It wasn't as if we really believed Snow was going to run us over, but the competition to see who was the fastest runner had been going on between us for years now.

I always won unless, like earlier today, I allowed one or the other to pull ahead of me, and the two of them knew it, too. This time, however, Snow had technology on her side, and no amount of yelling Tsume did was going to deter her from using it to its full potential.

My pants accompanied with Hige's were about the only things I heard for a good while until I picked up on something else, something that made my heart thud with happiness as well as exertion.

Hige and I both looked as Snow pulled up beside us, looking every bit the wild animal she was during a hunt, although now she was human. Her hair was down and blowing in the wind from the open window, and her laughter probably could've been heard for miles as she sped down the street, the tires kicking up copious amounts of dust and gravel as the concrete streets died away into the back roads leading down to the farm. We still had miles to go, though. The fight was still young.

Not for the first time, I wondered how I'd gotten so lucky as to have a family such as this one. Blood and biology weren't what bound us together, but the strength of the human mind and the will power we all had to remain together.

Death couldn't separate us. Darcia couldn't separate us. The _world _hadn't even been able to keep us apart for long. We'd been born in different lives, some in different forms, and yet we'd all still managed to come together in some way or another, more or less telling Darcia and anyone else that would listen to rethink their devious intentions, because nothing and no one could sever the bond we all shared.

I believed I could die and be reincarnated a hundred times over, and I would still find my way back to these wolves, the ones who had reshaped my very being into a wolf _and_ a human that took moments such as these and held them in precious regard, because at one point, he'd been alone.

In a cold, dark alley in the dead of winter in Freeze City, a wolf ran from the barrel of a gun, hungry, cold, and without a pack to call his own.

On a warm, summer day in the hustle and bustle of Fairfield, a human boy ran after his cat, battered, broken, and friendless.

Two different times, two different places, two different states of mind.

I had been both, that starved wolf and the lonely human. My lives were different, yet similar in ways that only those who looked closely could see.

Maybe someone would have noticed the renewed skip in my step after I met Tsume that day if they'd known how I used to trudge along before, how true and full my laugh had been after I first talked to Hige, compared to how lifeless and dull it had been when it was hardly ever used.

Or how I walked along with confidence after Kiba told me how proud wolves were, compared to how I used to slink through the shadows, an object of weakness in the eyes of humans, crows, cats, and wolves alike.

And even how relieved I was when Blue spoke of Quent with such warmth, because being so attached to humans had been something I was ashamed of before she came along.

They made me see a brighter side of things, of how life could be and how to better myself in the wake of the bad hands I'd been dealt.

When I was with them, I felt more in tune with my previous life than I ever would have without them. It was when I saw Tsume smile, or heard Kiba laugh, or watched as Snow and Hige exchanged soft looks that they normally didn't express in public that I felt as if I even deserved them at all.

The Toboe from before had witnessed all those things in a different time and when Snow was under a different name, and he deserved to be with them to the very end of his existence.

_I_ was that wolf, starved and alone. _I_ deserved to be with them until the very end of my existence.

And for the first time, as I ran alongside Hige and Snow, and as I realized that the two of them were the ones that had pulled back this time and were allowing _me_ to take the lead, I actually believed it.


End file.
